Request - hi! i was thinking if you could write a john murphy fic, please? fem reader is bisexual and is worried about coming out to murphy bcs her last partner didn’t take it well. but she tells him and he’s very supportive :)
Angst?/Fluff - Coming out
Warnings - Gay as fuck, Cursing, Homophobia,
Pairing - John Murphy X Fem!Reader
A/N - I didn’t know if I should make it on the ground or not so I just rolled with it being in space for the first relationship then on the ground for when you’re with Murphy.
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It was a bit of a secret that you played the field, one that you hid extremely well. It’s not like you were sleeping around with guys and women (unless you want to), but you were pretty good at coming up with excuses for wondering eyes when someone attractive passes by. Little to no one knew and for a while, that’s how you liked to keep it.
Your last relationship really had you real back on your want to embrace who you were. They left quite an impact on you and honestly? It really hurt. Said relationship ended when you told them that you were bisexual. First, they just played it off cause you’re both young and used the classic “you’re confused” or “it’s a phase”. It was when they realized you weren’t joking that they dumped you and very quickly moved on. You just felt lucky that he didn’t spread it around like wildfire.
Your current relationship is one you didn’t want to muck up. You have the normally cold John Murphy wrapped around your finger without even trying. He’s your rock and you love him with all of your heart. When you two came out as being in a relationship many people were shocked “how did Murphy pull Y/n?” was one that always had you laughing while holding Murphy back from beating some kid’s face in.
Weeks go by and each one that you’re with him has you trying to work up the courage to tell him but every time you’re held back by what happened last time. What if he does the same thing? What if he tells everyone? For weeks your mind is filled with these doubts and it doesn’t go unnoticed by Murphy one bit.
“You’re killing me,” Murphy says one day when the two of you are sitting alone. Your head perks up, staring at him as he fiddles with a knife, sharpening it against a rock.
“What?” You grow slightly nervous.
Murphy sits forward. “You’ve been acting weird and it’s killing me. What’s wrong? You tired of my ass?”
You shake your head, “no. What? Of course not. Someone’s gotta watch your dumb ass.” He laughs at that.
“Alright. Then what? Cause cat and mouse when I own the mouse it tiring.” He smirks when you look away from him, smiling.
“Can we…” You trail off for a moment, biting the inside of your cheek. “Can we go somewhere more private?” Your eyes glance around the camp of people you call your friends.
Murphy follows your gaze before shrugging, rising to his feet. “Whatever you want.” He follows you into your tent, sitting on the cot when told to do so. You pace in front of him for a moment and he grows both worried and concerned. “You okay Y/n?” He reaches a hand out to stop you, meeting your eyes.
“I-” You stop yourself, the memory of your past lover moving to the front of your mind.
“Hey.” He regains your attention. “It’s okay.”
You nod, letting out a breath. “I’ve been trying for weeks to find the words.” You start, gripping his hand in yours. “You gotta promise not to laugh at me.”
“I mea-” He stops himself from a normal snarky comment when he sees how serious whatever you have to say is to you. “I promise.”
“Or hate me.”
“I could never hate you.” He insists, growing more worried.
“Okay.” You sigh. “I like women.” You state, watching him tilt his head before what you said really set in. “And men!” You quickly save what you blurted out. “I like both: men and women.” You explain, “I’m bi.”
Murphy blinks before he shakes his head with a small laugh. “You spent weeks on that?”
You blink at him. “You said you wouldn’t laugh.”
“I’m sorry.” He pulls you closer. “I don’t know what to say other than I still love you.”
You tear up, “you’re not like mad?”
“Mad? Why the hell would I be mad? You’re you and I love you.” He smiles, pecking your lips. You smile, leaning your forehead against his, a huge weight off of your shoulders.
about. bellamy and reader share a close moment–just in case it’s their last.
warnings.swearing, walking dead x the 100 crossover,
ricky rocks. hate this. didn’t know what to do with it. anyways i miss octavia.
the sun was just barely reaching over the mountain tops, allowing a thin layer of light to turn alexandria blue with hope and coldness.
bellamy was up, he had to be up, he had hardly slept. he had in fact just rustled his eyelids closed when the illuminating sun woke him back up to his troubled mind, peaking through his bedroom window, giving light to his face.
the low sun highlighted his tan features and every detail that wrung along his bones. his freckles, his cheekbones, his jawline, his scars. everything. it all looked so perfect within that moment, so raw and fresh from the shower he had taken the night before. something you loved about the morning, observing him, running your fingers about him, but sadly, you missed that moment.
bellamy sighed, slowly untangling himself from his sheets and your arms, forcing his feet to hit the cool wooden floor of his room with his forearms leaning against his knees.
everything was just a nightmare.
there was a soft knock that echoed through the practically empty room causing bellamy to turn, his eyes going between you and the door.
you didn’t even stir.
he heard the click of the door, before it slowly opening and raven’s face peaking between the crack. her facial expression looked exhausted, as if she had gotten just as much sleep as bellamy did.
she didn’t entertain any usual amusement nor smile on her face when her eyes met his. she looked dead and it made him frown deeper at the realization that this beginning war was really affecting them all.
“rise and shine,” she whispered, “we have a day ahead.”
we have a day ahead.
you woke up in a cold bed without bellamy. sheets all scrunched up and pulled down to the foot of the bed on his side, leaving nothing.
it made you panicked, you’re eyes reaching anywhere and everywhere before hitting the window, a light blue peaking past the curtain, making your stomach dip.
the realization of what day it was filled your mind causing a sinking feeling in your head, panic erupting everywhere in your body as you got up quickly and searched for a fresh pair of clothes.
it was a day of war.
you all had been waiting for this day so eagerly, wanting it to be over with, but now, you wished it was days before where you were sitting on the nice living room couch that didn’t belong to you, thinking anxious little thoughts about how this day would go about.
bellamy had told you not to worry.
he had claim you’d be safe, he’d keep you safe. but not only that, you had another thing going for you. the straight fact that negan wanted you. he wouldn’t harm you if he believed you had something he wanted, whatever that would be.
that was the one thing you had going for you and you couldn’t help but be scared even more with the frightful thoughts that ran through your head, patronizing you and filling your brain with what ifs and possibilities.
“you let me sleep in?”
bellamy looked over his shoulder to meet your eyes, his lips were pressed into a thin line as he turned away from miller and the rest of the guarding crew, causing them to walk off with his final command.
his features softened at the sight of you, his hand laying against the crook of your back. he looked sympathetic and tired and old. it was as if the planning of this war had taken away the young boy from his eyes, leaving grey and sorrow.
“you need it.”
“you more than me.”
“some things need to get done,” he tried hard to suppress the pointed look he was about to give you, his hand still around you lowly. “we’re running out of time.”
“we’ve been out of time for awhile, it’s just now finally catching up to us,” octavia’s hard tone fills your ears as she hauls a large amount of rifles and weapons covered by a thick brown cloth. cuts scraped her face and dark circles outlined the bottom of her eyes, all youth gone just like her brother. “it’s time to sharpen up. lexa said he should be here soon.”
the both of you looked to her, analyzing the hard stare she had on her face, looking as if she was the one in command–which you wouldn’t be completely against. she was ready, she wanted blood.
“did you sleep?”
“what do you think?” her tone was harsh and she doesn’t think twice about it even as she noticed the wince on bellamy’s face. “this has been the only thing i could think about for the past week…” her eyes hit the ground, her mind going elsewhere as she pauses, slightly shaking her head, “people are going to die and it won’t be me, but i fear..” pause, inhale, her head jerks back up and her eyes meet yours.
she doesn’t say anything but that seems to be enough.
octavia walks away with an urgency in her step, deciding it’d be best she helped the guard instead of putting the two of you in any more of a troubled mindset. she was like a bomb, she had a lot on her chest, and it had only built up with the more time she had spent with lexa. lexa had filled her head with worries of you and the rest of alexandria.
“she’s not in the best state of mind.”
“well, none of us are,” you mumbled, watching her go, “but i would assume she’s in the best. at least better than us.”
bellamy didn’t watch octavia, he watched you. his heart ached as it felt like someone was twisting it. he wanted reassurance. reassurance to your safety, but it was too late for that and the more the minutes went by the more he regretted not taking lexa’s offer on protecting you at hilltop.
it was too late now.
“you shouldn’t worry.”
he grunted in response, almost scoffing at how ridiculous that statement was.
“we’ll figure it out,” you look up to him, “i promise, bellamy. we always figure it out, everything always ends up alright.”
“until we screw ourselves over once again,” he shook his head in sadness despite the sick smile on his face–one that wasn’t intentional. he was just so tired.
“hey,” your hand reached to the side of his face, “everything will be fine.”
“bellamy, we need you,” the two of you look to miller who looks anxious, his head jerking toward the front gate and a sudden feeling of grief takes over, fearing the worst that time had finally come.
bellamy seems to move fast as he takes ahold of you tightly with one arm wrapped around your waist while the other was around your neck, “don’t worry,” his mouth is right by your ear and his voice is too uneasy to make you not worry. “nothings going to touch you. not over my dead body and most likely, not even octavia’s.”
you laughed a sad laugh as you shook your head underneath his weight. it was finally hitting you that this was the end–the end of something and you couldn’t do anything to stop it.
summary : alie gets under the skin of everyone, even the ones who seem the most shut off
warning/s : swearing, depression, talks of miscarriage, and gif not mine, angst
slater’s note : season three truly was the best season. this is… dramatic? it has potential but i gave up.
it was your turn.
alie crossed all of them off like a list. one by one, mind fucking them until they couldn’t handle it.
mind manipulation, you knew all about it and you were certain that it wasn’t something you could be so easily affected by. you had met a lot of people, a lot of boyfriends, and friends, and even your own parents who enjoyed getting into your head with simple words that made you feel guilty or sick to your stomach.
you were sure she couldn’t get into yours.
“hello, sweetheart,” raven quirked her head, already analyzing you and your current mood. “see they finally brought in the big guns.”
you humph in amusement with lips slightly twitching upward as you made your way to one of the boxes that sat close to raven. you were hoping to rest, put your mind to ease as you sat before her, not expecting much to come from her mouth since you were a closed book.
clarke and jasper were practically left open and begging to be read as they sized up to raven with their emotions still filling their eyes to the brim. they were easy targets, easy to tear down, and easy to extract a fit from.
and although bellamy seemed just as shut off as you, hereallywasn’t. bellamy had so many problems shoved in the back of his mind that they begun to pile and overflow. and with anger issues compiled from unsettled issues in his past; he was just as much as an easy target as they were.
everyone hits rock bottom, but not all get to face the humiliation of others also realizing and coming to spit in your face.. a plan alie was hoping to put in motion, she just had to bait you first.
“you’ve always been the smart one,” she slightly twisted her head, raven’s eyes dark and filled with a conscious that wasn’t her own. “always thought for the better of others.. never yourself,” she shook her head and you could tell by the way her eyes slightly squinted she had something up her sleeve.
you were intrigued.
“so.. selfless and yet you’re always blamed for every problem that comes up. why do you let that happen, y/n?”
you tilted your head to the side, not exactly finding truth in the last of her words, you had never felt blamed, and if anyone was a scape goat, it’d be murphy. but you still found yourself listening, eating up the lie like a story.
“which is why i’m confused as to.. why you took the chip..” her face screwed up and at the sudden words you inhaled sharply knowing very well everyone heard her words just as you did. “i mean, y/n, as much as a smart decision that was, it was a rather selfish thing of you to do, don’t you think?”
you kept your mouth shut, knowing this wasn’t the last of her words. she had a plan of some kind, she was still trying to get into your head and she felt so close by the way she had just watched you adjust yourself in the slightest way possible.
“like i said,” you mumbled, “your chip didn’t work.”
“that’s too bad, isn’t it?” she whispered, almost taunting you, “whatever’s hurting you must be something real bad with how braveandstrong you are, or- excuse me, seem to be.”
“someone should go in there,” jasper suddenly stood from his spot at the door, listening in, his mouth beginning to grow dry as he stood up anxiously, looking between bellamy and the rest of your friends listening with just as slack and uncomfortable expressions; taken aback.
he made a move to go in but bellamy quickly stopped him, “just wait.”
“bellamy-”
“but then again, the strongest of us always seem to carry the most. you would know wouldn’t you?”
your mouth twitched from frowning deeper as you thought of all the past torment, from the moment you were born to the moment you landed on the ground.
“shall we talk about why you took the chip?”
“we can talk about whatever you want,” you leaned forward with your elbows on your knees.
this couldn’t get any worse than it already was.
“i want you to choose. bellamy or mount weather?”
you swallowed harshly, but your voice was still stern as you stared as her with narrowed eyes, “neither,” you leaned forward, thinking of the many flaws to weaknesses that centered in your heart just with the those topics. “i want to talk about you, raven, only you.”
“deflecting the question won’t work, y/n,” she almost glared at you, “you said we could talk about what i wanted and now i made a decision; i want to talk about what happened in mount weather after you got shot.”
your face dropped and you didn’t even try to hide it, suddenly remembering exactly what she was talking about and the room suddenly felt hot and you wanted to leave but you felt completely sucked in like she was a vacuum, giving you no choice but to get swallowed.
“you were pregnant, right?” raven’s head dipped to the side, already knowing she had gotten to you despite your face no longer showing a sign of distress. “with a little girl?”
jasper’s gaze landed on the side of bellamy’s jaw, eyes wide, holding his breath, waiting for him to step in, to stop it, do anything but freeze up like a stick, struck dumb with shock.. and hurt and a pain he could distinguish, something he had never felt before to the point he didn’t even know if it was all real.
raven tsk’d, eyes landing on her lap, “such a shame really,” you could see the sick smile that began to climb up her cheeks, making you want to scream, shout, anything to get rid of the pain clawing at your chest. “does bellamy know?” she looks up, as if wanting to really know, as if she hadn’t already knew. “i mean he is the father after all, you think he’d deserve to know.”
he knew now.
“bellamy, do something,” clarke gaped at him, her hand tugging at his arm, begging him to snap out of the trance he was in. “bellamy, you need to go in there. you need to get her out of there.“
“he held you… thinking you’d die, completely unaware of the baby inside that really took the bullet,” raven inhaled, sighing, her head shaking. “that really is sad, i don’t know how you didn’t end it-”
you got up and she smiled, anticipating this moment. but you don’t do what she wished you’d do. you stood calmly, staring deep into her hazel pupils, amusement snowing around, almost encouraging you to inflict pain on her.
“you’re not real,” your voice is low and quiet, “you can’t effect me. you promote a false devotion and promise a final happiness and safety from pain, but you’re flawed and can’t even bring the weak of us down.”
your eyes dart back and forth in search of some emotion in her eyes, but it seems she goes blank and shuts down like a computer until her jaw tips up, pulling closer to your face, whispering back, “you think that you’re so brave, y/n. you think that you’re some courageous soldier just because of the luck you had of showing up in the right place at the right time,” you feel a hand grip your bicep while the other wrapped around your mid section, slowly pulling you away from the words that ran out of her mouth fast, “but you’re wrong, deep down you’re coward just like all your friends and my point is only further proven when you took the chip, because admit it y/n, you’re scared, you’re scared-“
you felt like you had been ripped from a different world once bellamy had spun you around to face him. your body shook internally as realization overcame you of what had all been revealed within that room. bellamy looked scattered as he stared into your eyes with his own wide ones. he didn’t look himself; he looked worried and maybe even sad.
very sad.
"y/n, sit down for me, please,” he grasped your arms lightly, pulling you down on one of the chair slowly and gently, afraid you’d break under his touch. he was completely disoriented and he wasn’t even sure if what was all happening was real.
you stayed blank in the mind, feeling completely drained and distraught to the thought of what was running around in his head right now. it hurt that he now knew everything.
“talk to me,” he slowly kneeled before you, “what- baby, what happened to you?”
you inhaled sharply, the feeling of tears beginning to form in the crest of your eyes as you begun to feel overwhelmed–your chest tightened and it seemed like such a strain on your lungs when you tried to breathe, “bellamy, a lot happened in… mount weather that i can’t even begin to explain. I’m not even sure what was real and what wasn’t.”
“i was in a dark spot,” it was hard to force out and you could barely look him in the eye with the intensity he kept within his pupils. his heart hurt for you and he couldn’t even begin to think straight with all that was revealed with raven. “i can’t think straight half the time, bellamy and after everyone was killed at mount weather.. and i was shot… i didn’t feel like the same person anymore.. nothing felt right…”
you choked. your voice caught in the back of your throat as you attempted to explain yourself but he stopped you, shushing your voice as your tears begun to slowly fall and paint your cheeks. he pulled you close by the back of your neck, stroking his thumb against your scarred skin while the other wrapped around your waist, pulling you to him and his warmth. he held you tightly and so hard, that his ribs hurt but he didn’t care because he was afraid that you’d slip from his grip, like you had before.
but you stayed and you held him just as tight, allowing yourself to sink, because this was the only thing that truly felt right.
