#jontron quotes
“Can I please just tell the story, alright? I didn’t pretend to have been in Vietnam at multiple bars across the country to be treated like this.”
JonTron - Are You Afraid of the Dark? Part 1
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“Ooaoaawaaoaoa I’m coming! I-ju-I’m I’m done here, I’ve fulfilled my purpose, I - I ain’t need to see any more shit down here.”
JonTron - The Zoo Race
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The Best Ending Artwork for Jon’s story in Asagao Academy. I took this screencap myself when Jon and I fell in love. Be happy for us.
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“Yeah check out this stupid picture of your face, also, our friend is actually dead.”
JonTron - The Skateboard Kid
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MFW it’s gon be a good game
“So I gotta select my Padawan, huh? Yeah… so where’s Luke? I wanna play as Luke, or Han Solo or fuckin anybody. I’ll play as that guy, I’ll play as goddamn THAT guy, just give me someone I know.”
JonTron - Star Wars Kinect
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“What is this? Is this what happens when illicit Pokemon breeding goes unchecked? I’m looking at this from every goddamn angle there is, I can’t tell where it starts and where it ends. Well it’s got a pinecone for a body, it’s wearing a fez, and it’s got that one, staring, unblinking eye that reminds you this creature lives in never-ending, ceaseless agony”
JonTron - Bootleg Pokemon Games
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“Nothing you tell me could prevent me from loving you.”
“What if I were to say something like, uh, “I reject all your sexual advances?””
Titanic: The Legend Goes On
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“Welcome to JonTron’s How To Play Valiant Hearts; uh Step 1: Order the floppy disc from ebay DOT com.
Step 2: Wait patiently. Wait two to three weeks for delivery, don’t get hasty. What did Mama say about the boy who couldn’t wait, the Bear got him.”
How to Play Valiant Hearts
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“Ooooof. Now I feel for the guy here; That’s the worst, you just wanna hang up somebody’s coat in the closet, COUUUUCH falls out. I mean it makes you look like and asshole, embarrasses them for standing there watching that monstrosity. One time, I was trying to hang up a ladies coat, couch fell out of my closet… couldn’t look her in the eye for a year.”
JonTron - The Skateboard Kid
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“I don’t even like you. Why’d I take the time to put you in a goddamn locket? This is bullshit I’m getting outta here.”
JonTron - Foodfight!
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“Watcha got there? Couple Parliaments? A wrapper or two, a Corona Extra? Any o’ that left in there? How much AIDS that got?”
- JonTron and Ethan Learn Kung Fu
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“Science at large cannot explain the mysterious origin of the overexposed woman and her dairy snacks. Perhaps it will always remain a mystery.”
“My God… I haven’t seen a documentary with cutting, bleeding edge truth like that in a long time. Honestly, you should be proud, and worried… that the people who hate truth are gonna come after you for this one.”
- JonTron and Ethan Learn Kung Fu
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“You laugh, but soon I will be the golden child of this establishment.”
- Jon Being Jon 3/?
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“There’s been a mistake, I’m not a doctor.”
“It’s true: You’re a genius.”
“Now lady you know that whatever you just said ain’t right.”
JonTron - Goosebumps PART 1
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“Do you realise, for this to happen, someone had to sit down, look at Pokemon and go “You know this is great, but it needs more little girls. I’m gonna go downstairs to my basement now, next to my little girl dungeon and program this game. Welcome to planet earth, ladies and gentlemen.””
JonTron - Bootleg Pokemon Games
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