Things are really coming together nicely. And becoming a little intense. I don’t really mean that in a bad way though. Doing daily offerings to my spirit guides has been illuminating.
I put up my spirit house rules before doing any spell work, to ensure we were all in good standing and that none of my own boundaries would be crossed going forward on this path. In Alan Chapman’s book Advanced Magick for Beginners, he mentions a crossroads every magician must face when walking their path; the decision to leave magick behind or to go “balls to the wall.” To embrace it and truly live it, no matter how scary and unfamiliar that can sometimes be. To not turn back.
I knew I was fast approaching that point so I figured it best to prepare. The cleansing process was peaceful. I lit honeysuckle incense, to keep things sweet, and white pillar candles, to keep intentions pure, throughout the house and played old romantic music on my bluetooth speaker, to keep the mood light, soft, warm and kind. I cleansed with a smudge stick of flowers; I believe rose and lavender were wrapped up in it. It was peaceful and calming and after the three day ritual, I felt a lot easier throughout my house. Even at night, in the dark, when I get particularly scared and feel particularly claustrophobic, I have lately felt at ease and unafraid - I am aware of the rules I have set in place and I know the spirits are as well. I know I have communicated my boundaries and that I am fair to do so. I know that I can banish and have the power to banish anything I please. So now, when I feel energies I’m unfamiliar with, instead of being scared, I instead accept it as something that is simply that - unfamiliar. I’m not quite there yet, but soon I’ll interact. First I want to get a better understanding of who I’m dealing with. Especially because of what happened tonight during my daily offering.
I’ve been leaving daily offerings of water, tea, liquor, coffee, herbs, honey, incense, ash, oils, coins, etc. for a few weeks now and I can definitely say the energy during that offering has become palpable. I don’t just simply leave these things on an alter, but I have my own ritual -
I light an incense - lately it has been honeysuckle - and refresh their cup. I leave the cup there and I don’t use it for anything else. I light a white candle that I have dressed with dragon’s blood, to amplify the energy I offer and the quality of our communication. I then say,
“I respectfully and lovingly give this offering of (type of offering) the higher powers of the universe - the elements, light, sound - to the gods and goddesses, priests and priestesses who work their benevolent will, to the spirits of this land, this house, my ancestors and all that protect animals, to my benevolent spirit guides and to anyone in this life and past, this realm and others, that I owe karmic debts.”
I offer my energy every time. When I first started doing this, began placing my palms in front of me and turning them upward. Lately, however, I’ve been feeling very intense upward pushes of energy, almost as if my hands are being raised by something else now. My hands form a sort of strange gesture, that feels instinctual and again, directed by a strange force of energy. The left hand raises up, as if I’m raising my hand, and the right seems to support it, like I’m pushing a cube of energy upwards. I’ve felt that energy increase nightly. Tonight, as I raised my hand, it felt almost as if a warm energy wrapped around it, as if someone had wrapped their hand around mine. It was intimidating and intense but something about it felt solidified. I stayed focused and tried not to flinch from it. It felt reassuring, as if a sign that what I am doing is beginning to work - that I am truly tapping into something.
I’m going to consider this my first real success. I know there have been others, but this is the first thing that feels revelatory. Something I am trying to be wary of, as I figure this out, is if it felt so reassuring because it was a positive energy or if it felt that way simply because it’s a result?
The most incredible thing just happened. I just got a huge confirmation that my daily practices are paying off.
My roommate’s have two cats and I have a habit of not locking the back door. When the back door isn’t locked, the cats have a habit of busting it open and getting out. Being that it was 3:00 AM this time, it wasn’t exactly peak hours for this to happen. The both of them were asleep and I began to panic. I searched the front and back yard, but there was no sign of them. I put a bowl of wet food on the porch and hoped for the best.
I know cats come back often, but the way this happened felt truly aligned. I waited awhile; to see if maybe they’d get the outdoor romp out of their systems. I looked around again and still no sign. I waited awhile longer and was struck with the idea to ask my spirit guides for assistance.
I prepared my form of communication (one which I do not feel comfortable disclosing for the internet) and asked for guidance, with an offering of light and energy in exchange. I asked them to please guide the cats home safely before morning. Once I did so, I decided to check outside one more time on an impulse.
From under the porch I heard a small meow. I called out. Trico jumped up from under the porch and happily trotted over to the door. Nearly dancing, I picked her up and as I opened the door to plop her down inside, Freyja darted in like a lightning bolt behind her.
I have been keeping up with daily offerings the past few days and being attentive to my energy; listening to messages from the universe. I feel this is truly a result of my small efforts paying off and a confirmation to keep going. A call to the path.
I made my July spread today. The theme is based off of Seventeen’s new album heng:garae and one of the designs for the album, clouds. I didn’t need a whole lot this month as I’m still not super busy with things yet but I have just enough room to mark down the important stuff.
Week 11 of the 2020 Quarantine Challenge - What would you want to be stranded with on a deserted island?
I thought I’d jump in on this challenge, starting in June with my June planner! If I were stranded on a deserted island I’d probably just want the supplies to escape, but if I was saying something that actually answered the question in the way it’s meant to be answered I’d wish there was a library.
Jan 1 You hear a great deal about the ‘noble pioneers’ building up the country, and to a certain extent this is probably true. But the women and children of those times were the ones who faced the real hardships and privations. Women’s place in those days was in the home, which usually meant having 2 kids every 3 years and doing as much work as 2 ordinary men and living amid conditions which would cause a common hobo to breathe the open air and face the open road with 'thanksgiving.’ The men were, in many cases, drunken, or ingrown religious fanatics who were worse to live with and deal with even than the drunks.
Feb 8 Last night was one of the worse nights I have seen in this country in many years, a terrific gale of blowing snow and 15 below zero. We moved our bed out in the dining room beside the stove, the first time we ever did that. The horses in the N. pasture seem to be alright today, although we have no barns for them anymore.
Feb 14 I have often thought of sending valentines (as who hasn’t) but I never have.
Feb 29 Well, ordinarily today would be Mar. 1, but this year gives us one more day to hold to the place which has meant so much to me in life and tradition in the last 35 years, from the scent of the wild plum bush and the violets and the blue grass in April, to the little dry thunder showers in June which break away late in the afternoon, with the meadow larks singing and the wild roses which seem to be brighter and smell sweeter when wet with rain than any other time.
June 27 I took a thermometer out in the W. corn field today, at the ground surface it registered 142!
July 15 102 degrees. Corn and every thing is mostly destroyed… It is really too hot, dry, discouraging and devilish to do anything.
Sept 1 Well, another summer is about gone, and I wonder, some times what we will be doing a year from now. I always dread to see summer go, no matter how bad it is. Winter with its sickness seems to last so long.
Sept 10 I took down 3 pigs to the sale in the afternoon they sold for $12.05 or about $4 each. These sales are remarkable. An old cat and kittens sold for .05. Ducks sold for .30 each. One horse sold for $11 another for $7.
Oct 2 I listened to the 'World Series’ baseball game over the radio. The N.Y. 'Yankees’ beat the N.Y. 'Giants’ 18 to 4. One can hear the ball game in N.Y. City from the radio (wireless transmission) in his own home. You can hear the crack of the bat and the ball hit the catcher’s glove. Who would have thought it possible 25 years ago!
— Excerpts from the diary of Don Hartwell, a Nebraskan farmer, in the year 1936
just counted 11 books, including sketchbooks and journals, out of my backpack. I am not currently a student… I voluntarily pack around that much weight. The only reason I don’t have more is because they won’t fit in my bag
