I made my July spread today. The theme is based off of Seventeen’s new album heng:garae and one of the designs for the album, clouds. I didn’t need a whole lot this month as I’m still not super busy with things yet but I have just enough room to mark down the important stuff.
People, especially games, get eldritch madness wrong a lot and it’s really such a shame.
An ant doesn’t start babbling when they see a circuit board. They find it strange, to them it is a landscape of strange angles and humming monoliths. They may be scared, but that is not madness.
Madness comes when the ant, for a moment, can see as a human does.
It understands those markings are words, symbols with meaning, like a pheromone but infinitely more complex. It can travel unimaginable distances, to lands unlike anything it has seen before. It knows of mirth, embarrassment, love, concepts unimaginable before this moment, and then…
It’s an ant again.
Echoes of things it cannot comprehend swirl around its mind. It cannot make use of this knowledge, but it still remembers. How is it supposed to return to its life? The more the ant saw the harder it is for it to forget. It needs to see it again, understand again. It will do anything to show others, to show itself, nothing else in this tiny world matters.
This is madness.
Thank you for this good PSA because I’m still seeing sincere, published, professional writers doing “ahhhhh oh no this monster was SO UGLY i’m mentally ill now!”
☏Summary: “Perceptions are hazardous,” she’d hear her mother say religiously. And that line meant a lot, way more than just a complex utterance of the sickly-sweet “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover” proverb. Perceptions are hazardous. It’s a common trait between humans to ignore or not to give an ounce of thought to the truth behind one’s falsified persona. When lawless dignitary, Jeon Jungkook, meets her, trailing after his own heart will become his only feat. But for her, this irrefutable truth about perception will be a weapon she could put to good use. In a world of deceit, pride and gluttony, one could only hope that the young man’s avid heart is aware of the possible ruinations.
☏Warnings:istg this shit makes me sound like i’m pro capitalism but i’m really not, i might also offend some art fanatics with this one, rich nigga issues (i guess), topics on racism, misogyny, religious imagery, themes of depression, apathetic houseworkers, toxic friendship, gossip girl hoseok, violence, mentions of blood, mild depressive episodes, childhood trauma, mentions of an abusive parent, smoking, sharing a cigar, alcohol, swearing, angst if you squint… like really hard, teeny weeny mentions of sex and very, veryimplicit mentions of suicide
quick a/n: brutal honesty; was your girl greatly discouraged in the course of writing this? well… hehehe. no but fr, i had spent a plentiful amount of time in HELL. was kinda goin through it… and it’s been a painful length of time, I know… and ngl, kinda hated the way it turned out for a hot minute, like, I really thought this was gonna suck. and let’s also add in my tiresome battle with writer’s block, cuz it literally took me 4 fucking months to finish this and get my shit together, and some of you have been waiting but I mean,,, had to pull my socks up and share because y’all gave the prologue SOOOOO MUCH LOVE. so ummm, it was one of my very few modes of encouragement, so thank you, from the deepest, most chasmic part of my heart, for the love… I mean it. So I uh… hope you enjoy, hehe!
You have a brilliant pace and flow while writing, reading your story feels so easy like I am flowing from one sentence to the next like traveling down a calm stream.
Characters are described rather well, I am having no trouble at all picturing the scenes your creating how each person is dressed, their mannerisms, movements and quirky behaviours.
I like the main characters determination and backstory, especially the relationship between her and her father. It’s not overbearingly thrown in your face that he is evil or anything but a simple animosity regarding her singing at a young age but super effective to give her a drive to pursue singing. I don’t know it’s such a small scene but it can have such a big impact on someone’s life to just drive them forward. It’s something I am sure so many people can relate to.
I find some of your phrases are different (I like them) and it really sticks with me, and becomes memorable within the scene. I am definitely understanding your author voice and I like it a lot. I can’t wait to see where the story goes, I am excited to read more.
I also love the representation of a black reader not just representation but good wholesome representation. I know there must be people of colour wanting their happy endings and stories to be able to indulge and lose themselves in. Not only is your writing well done it’s sending such a powerful message. I would love to talk about how I can improve writing for people of colour in my stories. If ever you want to share a conversation about it.
“The prince just fell in love with Cinderella because of her looks!”
Wrong. Okay, picture this–
So there’s the prince, okay? He’s like, smack dab in the center of the ballroom, and he is like, horrifically aware that this whole ball thing is a result of his dad falling into a panic about the royal lineage or whatever and he’s stuck listening to highborn girl after highborn girl, all lined up, introducing themselves like, “Oh yeah my family’s been a longtime supporter of the crown, and I think you’re cute, *cough* I’ve been told I have child-bearing hips *cough* Who said that? Anyway–” and Princey boy is just smiling through it, he has been the center of attention for entirely too long, he misses his emotional support horse, and is just internally like “Someone please kill me now.” And then… he sees her–This isn’t a love at first sight thing, this is a ‘what the hell is going on over there’ thing, because this girl has not gotten into the Debutante line for a solid 45 minutes.
She’s just at the hors d’oeuvres table going HAM on the prosciutto-wrapped asparagus, and like, she’s polite about it, she’s happy to move aside for other people grabbing punch and canapes (and she’s really so sweet with the wait staff, it’s kind of cute because they’re like… definitely not used to being acknowledged) but it’s like, “Damn girl, did you not eat today?” and then the prince is kind of stuck with the uncomfortable thought of ‘how many girls starved themselves to fit into a corset for this.’ And then the Prince realizes he’s missed the past 4 Debutante introductions because he’s watching Mystery girl hork down crab rangoons. So he’s like, “Excuse me” and manages to break free from the never-ending parade of girls who will hop on his dick for status.
And as he’s approaching Mystery Girl, it’s kind of hitting him that something’s not quite natural about her. Not fake, but not quite real. But at the same time this whole evening’s been just a whole circus of people acting fake as hell, so like, someone seeming a little off doesn’t seem bad, necessarily. And he sidles up to her like, “Hi,” and she’s like, “Oh–hey, have you tried the tapenade?” and she points to one of the plates, and at this point, he could hit her with the “You don’t know who I am, do you?” deal or the “Very funny, I see your play” deal, but at this point it occurs to him that, no, he hasn’t had anything to eat throughout this whole damn ball, partially because of being stuck in the debutante parade, partially because of nerves, and there’s something so disarming about the question that he grabs a crostini and she still seems so food-focused that it doesn’t seem possible that this is a play. So they both grab little plates and ditch the party.
She pretty much clears her plate in under two minutes and then has half of his plate, he’s cool with it, mostly he’s just absolutely fascinated listening to her.
See here’s the thing about Cinderella:
1. She doesn’t know he’s the prince. Like yeah, he’s been at the center of the room, but she’s kind of spent half the party eagerly looking around everywhere she’s allowed to go (”Have you seen rose garden? Have you seen the solarium??” further confirmation that she doesn’t know who she’s talking to) and the other half stuffing her face with food.
2. She assumes she’s never going to see anyone here tonight again, and no one recognizes her, so she has no filter.
So she’s just talking about whatever with this guy. He seems cool. She talks about her friends, who are rats. She makes little outfits for them. Sometimes they bring her little gifts. She is already the coolest person the prince has ever met because of this. She pretty much offhandedly talks about whatever is fucked up about the kingdom that would take his advisors two hours of hemming and hawing and watering down to address. She just says it like it’s nothing, just funky little things she’s observed, and again, she’s not aware that he’s the prince, but it’s still pretty damn bold to bring up at a literal royal ball.
She…seems to have the majority of graces that lots of girls from Respectable Families™ have, but there’s something strange about it, something simultaneously broken and hardened, like the way you can see where ice has thawed and re-frozen. Also the way she talks about her family, and the way she avoids talking about her family– is raising several red flags, not in the “Oh this is another person trying to take advantage of me” sense, but in the “Oh fuck, something’s gone really wrong and you need help” sense and also lowkey a ‘damn is she even getting fed?’ sense. But he can’t say, ‘Hey, that’s not fucking normal for people to say that to you or treat you that way. We need to get you out of there,’ without sounding crazy himself, so for now, he’s just going to chill, make sure she’s comfortable, and keep enjoying the evening. She’s somehow befriended like 4 of the waitstaff so they’re willing to cover for them while they disappear for a little bit, and they get plenty of time to talk, but eventually it hits her that she hasn’t danced yet and she’s like “Come on! I bet we can make the prince jealous!” and he just bursts out laughing at that like “hell yeah, let’s make the prince jealous. He’s a real asshole.” Like clearly she’s having a good time, so who is he to make it weird? So they head back to the ballroom and they dance. And our girl, Mystery Girl, Cinderella, while they’re dancing, becomes acutely aware that everyone is staring. That doesn’t seem quite right. Like, yeah she’s hot, she knows she’s hot, but at least a good third of the party should still be focused on the prince, right? Where is that guy, anyway?
Oh.
Oh wait.
Ohshit.
And Princey Boy actually picks up on her realization and they whisper argue for like 3 minutes. “Why didn’t you tell me?! Now I feel like a goddamn idiot!” “I dunno it was nice being treated like a normal person” “Well metreatingyou like a normal person makes me a goddamn felon or something did you consider that?!” “Hey–Hey–it’s cool–you’re cool–I think you’re amazing, and if anyone says shit about you, I can shut it down.” “Well I don’t like that! That’s fucked up!” “I agree. It is fucked up, but I believe in you, and I think you should have a chance, and I’m here to back you up. I know power is fucked up right now. I know. But are you cool with working with me to change that?” And our girl Cindy pauses on that for a couple seconds, because.. she’s just spent hours with this guy and like.. she knows he’s a good guy, she knows he means well, so she’s like, “I don’t know how long I can actually work with you.” and the prince is like “Look, I know your home situation is complicated right now, but I really think we can–”
And then the bell starts ringing.
It’s midnight.
And then she takes off in a panic, and our prince just met the coolest person ever, and like, he’s pretty sure whatever situation they’re headed back to is fucked up, and all he’s got going to find her is a shoe. A shoe.
