C is for Catch-Up

Again, let me apologise for being MIA for a bit. The truth is, I’ve been struggling a lot recently and blogging hasn’t been that high on my priority list. That being said, let me catch you up on what’s been going on with me lately.

As mentioned in a previous post, brain fog is a very real and serious side-effect of being chronically ill. I don’t usually suffer with it but the last few months have been quite different…

It started with a drop in my appetite. A normal day for me would consist of having lunch and dinner, and maybe breakfast in the morning if I felt like it. But I began to not feel hungry, and the idea of food would make me feel sick or nauseous. I began eating less and less until it began affecting my energy levels at work. I spoke to my IBD team who recommended I started back on the modulen. This lasted for about a week before I couldn’t manage it anymore and reintroduced solid food alongside the modulen until I was able to eat a bit more and could cut out the liquid nutrition all together. However, I soon realised I had “shrunk” my stomach; I wasn’t able to eat a full meal anymore. I started eating little and often, around five to six small meals a day. This has sort of worked but it’s not always possible to eat midmorning or afternoon, especially when I’m working, so I don’t always get enough food. This has continued for some time now and I’m still trying to get my appetite back to normal so that I might be able to eat more.

Lately though, this has proved difficult; because I haven’t been eating that well, I’ve began suffering with fatigue. This fatigue has caused me to be unable to do much after work or on my days off, leaving me incapable of properly taking care of myself.

This drop in appetite and increased fatigue has left me feeling drained and I’ve begun to struggle mentally. I won’t go into details but it’s got to the point that I’ve reached out to Steps2wellbeing, a UK-based mental health organisation who I have used in the past and may have mentioned before. The initial triage session went well and I’m on a waiting list to start CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy). I’m not sure if it’ll work but I feel it’s worth trying because that’s better than doing nothing.

As for my physical health, that’s begun to decline again and I have, once again, been signed off from work. I don’t know how long I’ll need but even my works occupational health team believes I need time off so I’ll take their advise. I’ve had a blood test as well as a faecal calprotectin. These have shown that some of my inflammation markers are a little raised but not a lot else. And to make this even better, I was admitted to hospital on Monday.

⛔ TMI Warning for this next bit! Please don’t read any further if talk of poop or other bodily secessions grosses you out. Thank you for reading this far and I how you are staying safe. ⛔

OK, so since being admitted via a&e, I have had a CT scan as well as an xray, which have shown that I have inflammation in my small intestine (mostly the lower part, below my stoma) but thankfully no twist, like my GP suspected. The CT also showed that there was something in both my old jpouch and the part of bowel going up towards the stoma (most likely mucous) which was making them both a bit distended. My surgeon has recommended I start antibiotics to help control the inflammation (which I have) and, hopefully, whatever is in the old pouch will eventually come out via my back passage. I started the antibiotics Tuesday but it’s still early days yet.

Eventually, I’ll have the excess bowel removed. My surgeon said that should stop (or at least reduce) the inflammation in my small intestine. Obviously, I can’t have that done now due to Covid, but maybe in six or so months time.

So that’s what’s been happening with me recently. If you made it this far, thank you. I appreciate you reading my rambling posts. This one in particular is a bit disjointed because I wrote over several weeks where a lot was going on, making it hard to concentrate. I’m sorry if some parts didn’t make a lot of sense but the brain fog is pretty strong right now. Anyway, thank you again for reading and I hope you are staying safe.

I love Halloween. I love it for the decorations, the costumes, but most of all, I love it for the sweets. Yes, the sweets. (I know, I’m a big kid really). But seriously, there is a practical reason for my eating many sweets; slowing down stoma output without having to take medication.

Recently, I have had fairly loose output which is a bit of a pain because it can mean the bag filling faster than normal. Eating sweets, particularly ones with gelatin in, can help thicken the output and slow it down. Halloween is a great time to stock up because not only is there a much higher supply in shops, but they can be a bit cheaper. Now, obviously, I’m not saying everyone should gourge themselves on sweets (I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure that’s not good for you, even for ostomates) but this is just how I like to deal with high and loose output. How do you deal with loose output?

So, my plan for tonight are to eat Chinese take away followed by a load of sweets whilst watching Coraline. What are you up to this Halloween?

I went to a Crohn’s & Colitis UK coffee morning today with my mum. It was good to meet new people, we talked a lot but there’s never enough time to speak to everyone. I hope to go to the next one near me though. I met someone who has had a jpouch for around ten years now, and I spoke to someone who came with their mum (like me) and who both have Crohn’s. A couple of them were also at the IBD open day last weekend too. I’ve always thought that these meet-ups are a good idea, they give you somewhere to talk freely and feel safe, as well as being part of a community that understands and doesn’t judge because they’ve been there. I know they’re not for everyone but I enjoy it.

In other news, I saw my surgeon last week and he’s very happy with how I’m doing. He said he doesn’t want to do anything now for at least another year, which is fine by me (two surgeries is more than enough for this year, thank you very much). He said I’ve got three options though; 1) I can have my stoma closed and try the jpouch again, 2) I can have my jpouch & rectum removed, a permanent end ileostomy formed and have a barbie-butt, or, 3) I can stay as I am with jpouch & rectum intact and loop-ileostomy. I am quite content to stay as I am for now, but eventually, I will want to go for option 2; permanent stoma and barbie-butt. I don’t want to go back to the jpouch because not only is it ulcerated, but I still have the perforation near the entrance, both of which make me not want to risk it failing again and having to have yet another surgery. I could stay as I am indefinitely but I think I’ll always feel like it’s not finished and I just want this to be sorted once and for all.

So, that’s it for now. Work is going well and I feel able to do more things and for longer. My appetite has returned with avengence so I’m eating like a horse at the moment. My weight is very slowly increasing so all good from where I’m sitting.

Small achievements #1

I was able to stand up with little to no assistance.

For context, I’ve had a procedure that involved putting me under anaesthetic and performing a pouchoscopy (a scope of my jpouch) and placing a cathatar into my pouch so what is currently trapped in there can drain. The opening to my pouch is so inflamed, it’s practically closed, resulting in me not having passed ANYTHING for over a week now. It has been excruciatingly painful and my stomach has been very distended. This meant I could barely leave my bed without freezing in pain at every movement, let alone standing and walking.

I’m by no means healed but I am comfortable, at least, so healing should follow soon.

Intestinal colic

This is what they think I’ve got. It means severe pain that comes in waves, usually around the abdomen. Apparently, it’s caused by the muscles contracting in an attempt to move an obstruction.

At the moment, they’re still wanting to observe me but if things don’t improve soon, I’m assuming they’ll intervene with… something, I don’t know. There have been several mentions of operating but I really hope it doesn’t come to that. Apparently, this can go away on its own but, knowing my gut, I don’t think it will. At least, not quickly, anyway.