I just finished Witcher s2 and I have thoughts. Once again, I bounced this off of @aplaceofnonsense, my enabler.
Me: Hey, remember that “Jaskier is immortal” theory I had from last year? I have to amend that. I don’t think he’s immortal.
Saph:…he’s not?
Me:He’s not immortal. He’s a dragon.
Saph:um…WUT
(Season 2 spoilers below the cut)
Me: This is a lot, so I’ll break it down.
The “Golden One” Story
It was played as a joke that Jaskier slept through the dragon fight, but what if he was all “Borch got this fam I’m catching zzz’s”
Who told Jaskier the story? The dwarves don’t like him. Borch was probs like “yeah, so here’s what happened, FUCKING MORTALS AMIRIGHT?!”
The Dress Code
Borch wore this frankly obvious gold scale garb in the dragon hunt ep
Jaskier wore this frankly obvious red scale, spiky garb in the same ep
And then spends the entirety of season 2 cosplaying as a human dragon
Hey look. He’s got scales going down his legs. Or are they leathery folded wings?
Literally Burning
My boi singing his heart about about Geralt burning with steam (smoke?) coming out of his mouth. Sure, it’s cold in there (the set was outdoors in the winter) and he’s breathing pretty hard, but this happening on “BURRRRRNNNN” is too good. He’s also the only one that does this either above or in the sewers.
Also, did that fire ever touch his finger? If it did, he’s fireproof cause there were no burns…Yenn couldn’t heal him and he used that hand just fine afterwards…
Me: Well, the Witcher wiki says red dragons “can be prideful and aggressive, but also delightful conversation partners and debate competitors”.
Saph: OMG JASKIER IS A RED DRAGON
Dave, reading our convo: HOLD UP. If anything, he’s a silver dragon. Silver dragons LOVE telling stories, they love music, they’re flamboyant dressers, they can’t stop talking, they’re very curious…. The first thing Jaskier wants to do when Geralt breaks him out of prison is get a bath. Dragons are incredibly vain. Source: I played a silver dragon in a DnD campaign and did a LOT of research.
takes on the guise of kind and elderly humanoids or very attractive and young humanoids*coughJASKIERcough*
waits for others to ask them for help (which Yenn and Geralt both do and Jaskier immediately agrees to help even though he’s angry)
would attempt to right an injustice if they saw one (Sandpiper)
interested in protecting the humans or elves it came to care for
do not enjoy combat, but would own you if forced to fight
have ice and gas abilities (is that steam from the cold or ICE BREATH while he’s angry singing?!)
Saph, Dave and Me: Dragon.
Me:Joey Batey is also a DnD nerd and is probaby doing this shit on purpose…and Valdo Marx is a rival dragon CHANGE MY MIND.
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Edit: I can’t believe I forgot to include that Jaskier tells Yennefer he’s like the elves because he’s in the “other” category. Artist? LGBT+? Dragon? Yes ;)
Rating: mature (mentions of sex ~ drinking ~ swearing)
Pairing:Yennefer x Jaskier
The first time they fuck they’re both drunk.
Jaskier had been flush with coin, having found work with the alderman as some sort of squire, writing letter after letter and organizing payments for tradesmen whilst the fat bastard sat in his chair eating fresh fruits and guzzling wine, his fat little fingers adorned with rings of gold and studded with jewels. He had been rude and crass, making it clear to all that came before him that he was better than them and taking great joy in making them squirm and snivel. Yennefer had wanted to hex him but Jaskier had just smiled and winked, assuring her that there would be no need. She had learnt early on in their little adventure that the bard was quite cunning and devious and she knew that whatever he had done would do just as much damage as she would have so she didn’t push the matter even if she had wanted to.
As much as Jaskier had disliked the whole experience the man had paid shockingly well and they had been able to afford a hot meal and a good few rounds of the taverns best available wine. They had been well on the way to being pleasantly buzzed when someone had spotted Jaskier’s lute and had all but dragged the reluctant man into the middle of the room, demanding he play for them and Jaskier, though rather reluctant, had. They weren’t his best songs, no mention of the white wolf but that was to be expected. They were trying to hide from Nilfgaard not draw unwanted attention to them and that was all any mention of Geralt would do. The people didn’t seem to mind though, enjoying them all the same and after an hour when Jaskier had bid the gathered crowed goodbye there had been even more coin in his purse. So the wine had flown freely and they had descended into drunkenness quickly as they traded tales of their lives that most likely were not true in the slightest.
She didn’t really remember all that clearly how it had happened. There had been some teasing, Yennefer mostly making digs at the bard when he turned away yet another blushing maiden and one or two less the subtle men. There had been some insults about his capabilities that Jaskier had taken as some kind of challenge and before she even really knew what was happening they were back in the room, her back pinned against the door and their mouths pressed together in a hard and demanding kiss.
An alternative piece to the more explicit version of last years Somnophilia Kinktober prompt. I wrote half a fic for it but never got to the good parts so I never picked it up again so I might as well post it without any context.
Another thing was the sex, which was fucking incredible. They couldn’t get their hands off each other once they were alone together in the same room. Geralt had never felt so safe and confident with anyone before (maybe with Yennefer but that was a very long time ago).
But it’s not like things went smoothly between them. On their third night together, they’ve managed to break the bed. Jaskier promised to help Geralt buy a new bed. Geralt joked about them not having to worry about making so much noise anymore.
Another time Geralt carried Jaskier to bed while they were kissing, accidentally dropping him a little too close to the headboard. Jaskier hit his head, got a small cut, but it bled a lot. For an experienced nurse, Geralt started panicking. Jaskier managed to joke about it (even though Geralt wasn’t in the mood for jokes at all), barely talking Geralt out of dragging him to the hospital.
Jaskier “repaid” him later by accidentally kneeling him in the balls. “We are banned from having sex, ever again.” Jaskier had said after that, pinching the bridge of his nose. Geralt was quick to convince him otherwise.
Other than that, there were lame jokes, accidental tickling, falling asleep on the other in the middle of the act (Geralt isn’t old, he was just exhausted).
Jaskier pouted, turning his head to meet his partner’s eyes. “So, you’re leaving me to lie in this huge bed all by myself? You’re a terrible boyfriend.”
Geralt laughed, placing a kiss on Jaskier’s shoulder. “C’mere.”
Jaskier turned around in Geralt’s arms, pressing a sweet kiss to his boyfriend’s lips. Geralt tilted his head slightly to the side, pulling Jaskier closer with a hand between his shoulder blades.
Jaskier let out a small sigh when they broke apart. “Gods Geralt, that was fantastic.”
Geralt raised his eyebrows, clearly amused. “The kiss?”
Jaskier rolled his eyes fondly, smacking at Geralt’s chest. “No. I mean, yes. But I meant the thing we did before. It was very fantastic.”
Geralt smiled. “It was.”
“We should do that again sometime.”
“We should.”
They both chuckled, brushing their noses together.
Geralt laughed, a deep and beautiful sound. “So beautiful.” He whispered, kissing Jaskier’s neck. The younger man couldn’t help but to shiver. He never had a partner who complimented him so much in bed. It felt nice. He didn’t feel like he needed to put on a show for Geralt or to impress him in any way.
He could just be himself.
“You okay?” Geralt asked, noticing that Jaskier had gone quiet. He pulled away, unintentionally giving Jaskier a full display of his chest and abs.
If he suffocates me with those pecs, I will die as a happy man.
Geralt furrowed his brows. “Jask, do you want me to stop? Say something.”
Jaskier shook his head with a smile. “I’m sorry, dear. I just got distracted by these-“ He poked at Geralt’s left pec. “Is it weird to want to marry a man’s pecs?”
Geralt rolled his eyes fondly, but Jaskier could see he was flattered.
Jaskier scratched his cheek. “Never tried it, but I’m willing to. I mean, if that’s okay with you.”
Geralt offered him a small smile. “It is. We’re actually pretty much the same when it comes to our sexual preferences. I’m more of a dom in bed if that’s something you’re willing to explore one day.”
Do I want to be manhandled and completely ravished by you? Oh, yes please. “I would very much love that, sir.”
Geralt chuckled, giving Jaskier a fond look. I will never get enough of those looks, Jaskier thought. “Okay. There’s another thing I wanted to ask you – about the dirty talk part. So, is it okay if I call you- “
“Slut? Whore? Needy for your cock? Yes, it’s more than okay.”
Is that a blush on his face or am I imagining it? “Got it. But if I happen to say anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, please stop me and let me know.”
