I just finished Witcher s2 and I have thoughts. Once again, I bounced this off of @aplaceofnonsense, my enabler.
Me: Hey, remember that “Jaskier is immortal” theory I had from last year? I have to amend that. I don’t think he’s immortal.
Saph:…he’s not?
Me:He’s not immortal. He’s a dragon.
Saph:um…WUT
(Season 2 spoilers below the cut)
Me: This is a lot, so I’ll break it down.
The “Golden One” Story
It was played as a joke that Jaskier slept through the dragon fight, but what if he was all “Borch got this fam I’m catching zzz’s”
Who told Jaskier the story? The dwarves don’t like him. Borch was probs like “yeah, so here’s what happened, FUCKING MORTALS AMIRIGHT?!”
The Dress Code
Borch wore this frankly obvious gold scale garb in the dragon hunt ep
Jaskier wore this frankly obvious red scale, spiky garb in the same ep
And then spends the entirety of season 2 cosplaying as a human dragon
Hey look. He’s got scales going down his legs. Or are they leathery folded wings?
Literally Burning
My boi singing his heart about about Geralt burning with steam (smoke?) coming out of his mouth. Sure, it’s cold in there (the set was outdoors in the winter) and he’s breathing pretty hard, but this happening on “BURRRRRNNNN” is too good. He’s also the only one that does this either above or in the sewers.
Also, did that fire ever touch his finger? If it did, he’s fireproof cause there were no burns…Yenn couldn’t heal him and he used that hand just fine afterwards…
Me: Well, the Witcher wiki says red dragons “can be prideful and aggressive, but also delightful conversation partners and debate competitors”.
Saph: OMG JASKIER IS A RED DRAGON
Dave, reading our convo: HOLD UP. If anything, he’s a silver dragon. Silver dragons LOVE telling stories, they love music, they’re flamboyant dressers, they can’t stop talking, they’re very curious…. The first thing Jaskier wants to do when Geralt breaks him out of prison is get a bath. Dragons are incredibly vain. Source: I played a silver dragon in a DnD campaign and did a LOT of research.
takes on the guise of kind and elderly humanoids or very attractive and young humanoids*coughJASKIERcough*
waits for others to ask them for help (which Yenn and Geralt both do and Jaskier immediately agrees to help even though he’s angry)
would attempt to right an injustice if they saw one (Sandpiper)
interested in protecting the humans or elves it came to care for
do not enjoy combat, but would own you if forced to fight
have ice and gas abilities (is that steam from the cold or ICE BREATH while he’s angry singing?!)
Saph, Dave and Me: Dragon.
Me:Joey Batey is also a DnD nerd and is probaby doing this shit on purpose…and Valdo Marx is a rival dragon CHANGE MY MIND.
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Edit: I can’t believe I forgot to include that Jaskier tells Yennefer he’s like the elves because he’s in the “other” category. Artist? LGBT+? Dragon? Yes ;)
Joey Batey: Hey guys, I’m doing this show where my character and the main female character both break up with this guy. We should write a ballad from their perspectives.
Rest of The Amazing Devil:
FYI, They were filming The Witcher from October of 2018 to March of 2019 per wikipedia. The song came out February of 2019. Coincidence? Or Destiny?
Writing this down to draw later but hear me out. Witcher Role reversal au but it’s with the trio. We have bard Geralt, witcher Yenn, and mage Jaskier.
Bard Geralt is selectively mute so he just plays his instruments really reallywell to earn coin
Yennefer instead of being sold is abandoned by her family and picked up by kaer morhen so nothing really changes from Geralts story
Jaskier on the other hand ohohohohoho. He’s a wild card. Never followed the rules of magic (you know he’d be mixing herbs) and was always really handy at it.
Jaskier came from a prestigious mage family so he’s been cocky about his skills since the start
Jaskier never struggled with the first spells like yennefer instead he was infuriating-ly good at them.
We’re ignoring that women can’t be Witchers here but early Witchers put yenn through the trials and we’re like “damn it worked?! Let’s do some more”
I want to think that yenn willingly went through the trials on the off chance her back could b fixed? The same way she did with the mage trials
And there’s all the word vomit I can muster. Expect reverse au art soon!!
It’s a little inspired by @lankygeralt ‘s wip Sugar Crush but I def don’t do it justice. I’d love to do more art for it in the future tho so think of this rather as a modern Witcher Au ;)
Def go and read Sugar crush!! Absolutely amazing piece of work and I can’t wait to see how it goes!!
I have never played any of the Witcher games. I saw season 1 when it first came out and remember nothing about it, and I have only seen mere gifs of season 2…
BUT based on those gifs it seems like Jaskier bagged both Geralt and Yennifer and honestly good for him
