OMG my heart is breaking into million pieces after reading this istg Lo, you are a genius, your writing always gets me everytime and this particular chapter just… it hurts A LOT. I need few days for recovery I swear, Im crying and sobbing reading it… I dont wanna spoil anything but its just gut wrenching for me…
life has a tendency to throw things your way when you least expect it, when you’re content, and the ominous presence knows exactly how to steer your existence back into the darkness.
warnings/tags— single parent!reader, dad!JK, ex-boyfriend!JK, CEO!taehyung, strong language, graphic depictions of violence & blood, mentions of harassment, alcohol consumption, anger issues, flirting , tension, jealousy, wet hair tae, mentions of drugs, puke warning, bickering, manhandling, one spank, mentions of babies, unsolicited? cuddling, drunken makeouts, grinding, some oral (f), all in a semi-public area-ish + a lot of feels
note: part 02 to part 06 i like this one a lot & i hope you guys do too !! ✉️jungkook in anything grey just & tae with wet hair
halmeoni - grandmother
A few days, no, a whole week has passed – you’re obviously over it.
hi everyone i hope you are well, here’s another list dedicated to my current favourite jungkook fics and the series i’m into, i hope you enjoy and love reading them as much as i did and don’t forget to support the wonderful authors and show them lots of love and appreciation by leaving comments and sharing their work i just know it will make them smile… reminder majority of the fics I rec are nsfw so no minors allowed!!! if you have any of your own recommendations please send them my way i love hearing from you guys ☺
hi everyone i hope you are well, here’s another list dedicated to my current favourite jungkook fics and the series i’m into, i hope you enjoy and love reading them as much as i did and don’t forget to support the wonderful authors and show them lots of love and appreciation by leaving comments and sharing their work i just know it will make them smile… reminder majority of the fics I rec are nsfw so no minors allowed!!! if you have any of your own recommendations please send them my way i love hearing from you guys ☺
the first time you saw jin, it was at 4 am in the ‘24/7’ library you liked to go to. he was sitting all alone at a circular table, staring intensely at the books in front of him, his eyebrows had scrunched up and his lips were caught in between his teeth in concentration. he only strayed his eyes away from them to see you enter the room. blinking owlishly, he gives you a one over, curiously but then returns back to studying, seemingly not paying anymore mind to you.
you set your books in a table far away from his, and sat down in a huff. you don’t like being around people and even if this man is pretty, prettier than you’d like to admit, he still was no exception and you snort when you see all the sticky notes and highlighters he has out on the table.
what a dork.
you don’t give him too much thought either, instead opening up your books and getting lost in them, immediately taking down notes and groaning in frustration every now and then.
you were so lost in finishing your assignment that you don’t notice his gaze linger on you after he deemed it was safe to do so without getting caught by you. and he continues to do so because you don’t bother to lift your head to look at anyone and jin tilts his head as he plays with one of his highlighters while still looking at you.
did you have different textbooks?
because what could be so interesting that you haven’t looked up for the past hour?
jin shakes his head at himself when he realizes he’s been staring at a stranger like a creep for an hour now. he’s got his own papers to finish so he pats his cheeks roughly, mumbling an apology when the clapping sound makes people look at him with an annoyed expression and starts working again.
he feels slightly bashful because he broke one of the rules of midnight libraries which was no sound, absolutely no sound, not even your steps should make a sound. if libraries are quiet in the morning, they should be as quiet as a graveyard at night.
and the next time he looks up from his books, you aren’t there anymore.
this happens a couple of times throughout the days he sees you, he will see you walk in and settle with your books and even he’s checking every ten minutes to see if you’re there or not, you still manage to vanish into thin air when he doesn’t notice.
jin thinks you’re a ghost.
because he can’t understand how you move so quickly and quietly, even when he sees you in the library the next week, he’s startled because one minute he’s happily using his lime-colored highlighter on text that doesn’t need highlighting only to casually look up and seeing you in your usual spot.
and jin is so surprised that he almost falls out of his chair when you give him a side glance. he’s almost tempted to touch your cardigan to see if you’re even real or not because no one else acknowledges you except him. like literally everyone acts like you’re invisible or you actually are invisible and he just doesn’t know.
there’s a reason why no one acknowledges you but jin doesn’t know that.
you see, jin doesn’t think a lot before doing something and now the mystery of whether he’s discovered a ghost or not is greater than any future embarrassment he might feel.
he strides over to you and slightly pulls on your cardigan, and yes, he feels the fabric, you look pretty normal up close, you don’t have full black eyes or whatever shit ghosts have going on, and he heaves in relief.
“so, you’re real, thank god” it’s only after he mumbles those words, he realizes his blunder because insinuating that you thought someone (someone you’re attracted to) was a ghost wasn’t the greatest way to flirt and he definitely knows his answer if he decides to ask you out because you’re glaring at him so hard, he wants to run away.
yep, his answer would be a big fat no.
before he can apologize or explain why he thought you were a ghost or why he pulled on your cardigan, you shove past him with your books held tightly against your chest and leave but not without whispering curses at him the entire time.
jin fucked up, he knows he did and he couldn’t help but think how stupid he was to just randomly walk up to you, still a complete stranger and pull on your cardigan, jin also couldn’t help that you felt familiar to him, in a way he couldn’t explain.
so, the next time you walked into the library, he was about to come up to you and apologize but then he sees how you roll your eyes as soon as you spot him and even when he stands up to try and talk to you, you brush right past him with a scowl on your face.
jin doesn’t know what to do.
he doesn’t want to risk pissing you off even more but he knows that he has to apologize, butyou do look like you are going to kill him if he comes near you. and his life is kind of precious to him.
nevertheless, with fumbling fingers and twitching lips, jin slowly walks to where you are and before he even opens his mouth to speak, you’re cutting him off.
“what, are you going to pull my cardigan again?” you snap at him and he quickly shakes his head, eyes shutting because he cannot believe he got himself into this situation.
“you aren’t wearing a cardigan today” he mumbled and winced immediately when you cocked an eyebrow at him.
what is the fucking deal with him when he is around you?
where is his ‘be respectful, not an asshole’filter?
“don’t get smart with me” you practically growled, irritation sinking deeper into your skin and jin shamefully nodded.
he had that one coming.
“i just wanted to apologize, i didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, i’m pretty sure it looked strange but my intention wasn’t that because the reason i even did it was- “he takes a deep sigh when he notices you sitting up straight, curious enough to want to know why he even pulled your cardigan instead of you know, saying hello like a normal person would.
“it was because i thought you were a ghost” he whispered, feeling the embarrassment settling deep in him as he explained and he snaps his eyes open to look at you when he hears your loud laugh. it gathers the attention of everyone else in the library but you don’t look like you care because you’re laughing so hard that your eyes have gathered tears.
jin doesn’t know why but he feels a certain warmth spread in his chest when he sees you looking so happy, even if it is because he embarrassed himself.
“why didn’t you just talk to me?” you said slightly breathlessly as you leaned back in your seat, a wide grin still on your face and jin felt himself smiling back at you.
“what if you were a ghost?” he retorted and you giggled again, jin was loving every minute of it. there’s nothing more ego boosting than someone you like finding you funny.
“strong point, can’t argue with that.” you lifted your hands in surrender and when you saw him laugh with his ears and cheeks all red, you knew you didn’t deserve whatever this handsome man had to offer.
you couldn’t get attached.
you didn’t deserve to be attached with anyone, especially not this guy who’s been making you laugh and forget about everything, even if it was for five minutes.
“okay, apology accepted, you can leave now.” you curtly nodded, voice devoid of any and all emotion and turned to open your books and jin was baffled because you looked so full of life not even a minute ago.
“you’re not even going to tell me your name?” and you don’t answer, instead staring down at your book even if your mind wasn’t grasping anything so jin shrugged to himself and left you alone even if he really wanted to stay and talk, or make you laugh more because you didn’t always look this happy, at least not in the times he’s seen you.
from then, jin didn’t bother you, of course he still looked your way whenever he could but he never went up to talk to you again and you couldn’t help but feel disappointed even if you were the one who pushed him away. a small solace for you was that you didn’t have to worry about getting attached anymore.
but jin is well, he’s jin and he’s hard to ignore.
so this time, you’re the one who looks up constantly with your pen caught in between your lips, you look up to see the handsome stranger across the room from you (you still don’t know his name) he doesn’t look too far from your age and you could only guess that you both went to the same university, you lean a little and squint your eyes to see any identification and sure enough he had a hoodie draped over the chair next to him and it had your university’s name on it.
how come you have never seen him around?
maybe he didn’t hang out near your block but you move around a lot so it’s puzzling that you have never noticed him before.
maybe he just had a tight circle of friends.
the next time you looked up, you saw him snoozing away with his book open in front of him. his precious highlighters are scattered around his head, he looked cute with his full lips and slightly flushed cheeks. absentmindedly, you gathered your books and sat down in the same table, still maintaining a good distance, not wanting to but looking over to see him every once in a while.
you giggled when his alarm rang and broke the silence in the very quiet, very empty library, so empty that it was only you and him, and a couple at the other end of the library but you were pretty sure they didn’t come here to study. jin snapped his eyes and hastily looked around to make sure no one caught him looking like a fool, only to meet your amused eyes.
and even if you didn’t want to, you started speaking.
“no loud noises in the library, don’t you know that?” you mused and pointed to the huge sign over your head which had the rule written on it in huge letters, a cheeky grin on your face only to laugh once more when he hurriedly bowed to you in apology.
he was still cute. and he was still making it really hard to not like him.
“it’s okay, just try not to sleep here, i can’t imagine the position being any comfortable” you chastised, you know this because once you fell asleep and woke up with such a cramped neck that you couldn’t move it for two days. you watched as his eyes danced over your face, pausing for a second or two and then lifting his eyebrow in a cocky way.
“thanks for the concern” jin smirked your way and you rolled your eyes, of course with a face like that, he was confident and that also made him attractive, it’s been a while since you’ve openly admitted to yourself that someone was attractive.
but it hasn’t been too long since you made the biggest blunder in your life.
you sighed, closing your books and thinking that this was enough studying for you today, not failing to catch jin’s panicked eyes looking at you.
you got up to leave, flinging your bag over your shoulder, and walking away, silently wishing for jin to say something and he didn’t disappoint. he wasn’t going to talk to you but you initiated the conversation this time so he took that as a green light to talk to you.
“wait, what’s your name? i’m jin!” he called after you, now standing in his seat. even from where you stood, his voice was clear as day so he must have been yelling.
“well jin, still no loud noises in the library, remember?” you smirked at him and laughed to yourself when you heard him groan and slump his shoulders.
just like that, you were gone. again.
jin doesn’t remember the last time he’s chased after someone but you looked like you were worth the chase so he brought out the big guns. he put a dent in his weekly budget and bought two expensive coffee infused drinks from the café in front of the library. all while he cursed capitalism, the café itself and even god because why the fuck did he have to pay 30$ for decent coffee?
that day, he kept close watch to the entrance of the library to catch you walk in and you did, looking even better than he remembers. as soon as you sit down in your usual seat, he walks over to you after gathering every bit of confidence left in him and you paused from writing your notes when you saw a shadow on them, looking up to see jin standing there with a nervous smile and two cups in his hands.
and dare you say, your heart fluttered.
“what are you doing jin?” you mused and he hated how much he liked his name rolling off your tongue. he hasn’t liked his name this much before, you just made it sound more beautiful.
“what does it look like? i’m trying to get your name.” and with that, he set a cup in front of you, and you see, it was very tempting to just sit here and get lost in a conversation with jin who seemed more than eager about it but it wasn’t so tempting when you remember your mistakes, you have hurt someone else too much to chat over coffee like this.
“i don’t like coffee.” but you can’t say no to jin.
jin sighs and just as he’s about to grab the cup and leave you, swearing to himself that he won’t return and also convincing himself to just drink the two expensive drinks himself, your voice stutters his movement to a halt.
“but there’s nothing wrong with trying it again, i guess” you sheepishly grab the cup and start sipping, not missing the relieved smile that settles on his lips and you smile back.
one conversation won’t hurt anyone.
-
turns out, jin is a lot more charming when he isn’t picking on your cardigan, and even more handsome up close. you almost choked on your breath when he leaned over the table to wipe an eyelash from your cheek. the coffee was good but you almost forgot to drink it because you were trying to find some, really any flaws in jin’s face, you didn’t find any. you tried to see flaws in his personality, you didn’t see any, or you just painted too pretty of a picture of him in your head but he really hasn’t given you any reason to paint an ugly one.
it was all too cliché. even now, bundled in your sheets, your hand unconsciously strokes where he touched you and warm butterflies fill your chest.
but you shouldn’t feel like this. last time you felt like this, you hurt someone and even if it’s been a few years since that, you don’t have it in you to forgive yourself because you really do think you don’t deserve to be with anyone.
and as much as you like jin, you know that’s it’s only a matter of time before he finds out about what you did and you’re terrified.
jin is the only person who has treated you like you deserved niceness in all these years and in your heart, you know you have to push him away, or either of you will get too comfortable to go.
and the idea of pushing him away only seemed to get harder the more days you spent with him later on, it was like whatever you two had was magnetic. you never told him your name though, masking your fear of him finding about you by just simply teasing him more. you would walk into the library and the first thing you saw was jin’s large grin and two coffee cups in front of him, and just like that, your heart felt lighter and you felt like letting your regrets go.
but regrets don’t just go, they cling to you, and they clung to you even when you dreamed of jin, they also clung to you when you wondered about what he was dreaming of, if it was you like you dreamed of him.
-
“so yeah, i cried to myself at midnight while watching coco instead of finishing my assignment and now, i’m doomed” jin, along with hoseok and jungkook, laughed at taehyung who was furiously typing away on his laptop.
“glad to know you can find joy in my misery.” taehyung clenched his teeth in mock anger and proceeded to anxiously check the time once again. from what he told them, this assignment was 20% of his grade and he was given a month to finish it. taehyung is starting it now.
taehyungisdoomed.
magnificently doomed.
“just finish your essay man” jungkook snickered when hoseok shook his head disappointedly at taehyung’s situation. and jungkook also noticed how jin kept looking around the cafeteria instead of laughing with him, his own eyes travelled to where jin was looking and he didn’t know jin found fading posters on their bulletin board interesting but here they were, staring at a particularly moldy piece of paper hanging on for dear life on that board.
“if you want to join knitting club, we won’t judge hyung” hoseok burst into laughter at jungkook’s words, almost spitting his drink out and jin shook off his haze, turning to playfully shove his younger friend off the table. and after flapping hands at each other for a minute and bickering until one of them backed out, jungkook looked a little concerned for jin because jin was never one to zone out or think too much.
“but no, what are you even thinking about?” jin hesitated to speak about you, he really didn’t know a lot about you, he just knew enough to know that he definitely liked you and you spent a lot of time together but you haven’t even told him your name.
and just as he’s thinking about you, he swears that it’s the ghost of you that comes into the cafeteria and you don’t spare a single glance at anyone, walking straight to the vending machine, a couple of eyes turn to look at you and jin misses the way hushed whispers are exchanged as soon as you’re in the room.
jin doesn’t have it in him to walk up to you today, you make him weak in the best way possible and he hasn’t prepared himself to see you in campus. and jungkook notices how jin’s eyes stray towards you, also noticing how he doesn’t look away until you leave the cafeteria.
jungkook knows what’s got his hyung all wind up.
“so, y/n?” jungkook muses, a teasing tone settled in his voice and jin chokes on thin air, he didn’t expect jungkook to know you, let alone know your name.
“you know her name?” he turns to jungkook with wide eyes and jungkook almost laughs at his comical expression, but his humility dies down the second he sees how serious jin looks, he sits up straight and clears his throat. he’s only seen jin serious a handful of times, and he didn’t enjoy any of those incidents.
“of course, i do, everyone does” jungkook shrugs and jin turns to hoseok and taehyung for confirmation. and sure enough, they both nod as well and jin almost lets out a screech at how everyone around him knows you but him.
seeing jin’s panicked expression, a realization dawns on his roommate, hoseok who smirks at his friend proudly after figuring out where exactly he had been disappearing off to these past few nights.
“is she the reason why you have been going to the library every day?”
“nonsense, i just want to get my grades up.” jin nervously utters out as his ears tinge red, he’s never been a good liar and his friends know and they enjoy watching him miserably struggle with his words.
“you haven’t turned in your assignments for two weeks now” hoseok pointed out with a broad, knowing smile on his face.
“are you stalking me?” jin narrows his eyes at his roommate, but his cheeks were definitely red with all the attention of the conversation turned to him.
“hyung, do you really not know anything about her? she literally was all people talked about when i was a freshman” taehyung said, looking up from his laptop for the first time since the past 10 minutes.
“don’t you have an assignment to finish?” jin questioned, raising his eyebrows at taehyung who didn’t seem to care at all.
“i’m failing anyway, i’ve come to terms with it.” taehyung had apparently decided that his luck wouldn’t save him this time and he was just too invested in the conversation they’re having right now to care about the assignment.
“seriously though, i’m still a junior and i know about her, how do you not?” jungkook piped up, looking at jin incredulously and jin sighed, there was no winning for him here.
“fine, she’s the reason i’m going to the library and i do like her a little but she never told me her name so i would very much appreciate it if you told me.” taehyung, jungkook and hoseok looked at each other for a second, silently debating on whether they should tell what they know or not. all while, jin’s eyes danced over the three of them as they continued to stare at each other and after coming to an unspoken agreement that jin indeed needs to know, taehyung finally breaks eye contact with them and looks at jin.
“y/n, she cheated on her boyfriend in her second year.”
jin didn’t know to react.
he imagined a lot of things about you but you didn’t look like a cheater, and he felt betrayed even if he wasn’t involved with you fully. it just felt like everything he knew about you became a blurry mess that he wasn’t sure of anymore.
how many other things have you been hiding from him?
and jin has never been the judgmental kind but cheating, to him, was pretty serious.
“her boyfriend was devasted and he apparently pulled this sympathy card, got everyone to feel bad for him and that made everyone hate her for a while, he was the campus go-lucky guy so when he got all sad, people got defensive and shit, it was a whole thing. from what i know, she lost a lot of friends after that and her now, ex-boyfriend continues to mop around about it, he’s like the typical good guy who got his heart broken so yeah, no one bothers to talk to her anymore.”
so that is why you’re always alone in the library.
-
you didn’t see jin in the library for a while and it confused you, even hurt you a little bit because even if you know you didn’t deserve his presence, he made you feel alive. you missed that feeling of not being an empty void which spoke two words at the most. he actually pulled sentences, paragraphs even from your mouth with little effort. you missed being around people in general but you understood why no one would talk to you.
because you were a cheater.
you broke someone’s heart.
and you knew you fucked up. you knew you fucked up the minute you woke up in someone else’s bed.
you knew you fucked up when you saw the disappointment, anger and then sadness fill your then boyfriends eyes as you told him what happened.
and it didn’t help that he was actually a kind but difficult person to deal with, it didn’t help that you stopped loving him a long time ago, you even doubted if you ever loved him at all.
but those were excuses to anyone who would hear them.
excuses from a cheater.
because cheaters and liars have all the excuses in the world.
that night became a catalyst for the end of your relationship and there was nothing else you needed more, but it felt like you stepped out of a cage only to fall into a hole.
your ex didn’t take the news too well, and word spread around so quick that even your teaching assistants knew about what happened and they shamed you, for your actions, for your underwhelming reactions to any provoking done by anyone because honestly, you felt numb.
you thought college was going to be this fun period in your life that you would enjoy to the fullest, which is why you even moved from home, you were excited to start this new chapter with an open mind and it all crashed down on you before you could embrace it. it all fell apart right in front of you and you couldn’t do anything but watch as your reputation crumbled into fine sand.
and you deserved it. nothing could excuse cheating, not even the shell you called a relationship, not your boyfriend who was actually a good person and didn’t deserve what you gave him, nothing could change that you were exactly what they called you, a cheater.
it took everything in you to not roll your eyes when he went around campus crying to everyone about how you betrayed him and absolutely broke him, and you felt like a horrible person because you were the reason he was hurt. but you didn’t feel anything. you still don’t feel anything.
but there was one emotion that filled you to the brim and tumbled over. one you won’t admit you feel.
regret.
regret filled your every inch with dangerous opacity, regret that you couldn’t love someone as nice as him, regret that you had to hurt someone to move forward, regret that that one night absolutely destroyed everything for you, regret that you’ll only ever be known as a cheater and nothing else in all your college life.
it’s painful to experience the end of something even if you’ve been anticipating it.
you didn’t love your ex-boyfriend but still the end of whatever you were, it killed you just as much as it killed him. there were still nights that you would dream of tracing his features with your hands in the dark while he softly hummed his favorite song to you, there were still days you missed going to the cafeteria with him and just being all wrapped up with him in front of all your friends, there were still days you missed what you were even if it weren’t good for you.
regret rots you from the inside out, slowly kills you but you act like nothing affects you but every whisper, every stare that lasts too long on you, it halts your movements and makes you close your eyes in pure anguish.
“i get that it’s 4 am and no one is actually okay at this time but why do you look like you’re trying to hold in a fart?” jin’s voice broke your daze, your eyes bouncing around to find where he was, only to see him standing to the side of you while holding two cups, and jin thought he was kidding himself when he saw your face momentarily give him a relieved smile.
“just thinking” you replied, voice a little shaky and nervous. and you straightened your posture when you saw jin looking at you with more seriousness in his eyes, none of his usual playfulness or mischief found, his face was blank and not lit up in a smile like it usually was.
did he find out?
the possibility of him finding out about what you did unnerved you a little. and the tension lingered in the air, with both his sour mood and your overactive mind.
“you know, you don’t have to get me this every time, i know these are expensive as fuck” you cheekily said when he slid one of the cups over to you and jin swore, he could’ve kissed you for being so understanding of his thin wallet.
“thank you, i will no longer be getting us drinks from that place, it’s like every time i go there, they increase the prices.” jin complained loudly, an angry pout on his face as he threw his hands around to exaggerate his frustration. and you bit your lip to stop yourself from laughing out loud at his red face. but you felt relieved that he didn’t seem as rigid as he looked when he came in.
“that’s true, they switch up their prices almost weekly besides, we have a coffee machine here in the library, why did you go till there?” jin’s mouth dropped as you said this.
this library had a whatnow?
“what do you mean, there’s a coffee machine here?”
“yeah, it’s right there, we have three of them actually” you pointed to the opposite side of the room and jin almost cried out in frustration when he saw the brand spanking new coffee machines, all shiny and ready to be used.
“it even makes caramel latte” you added in, just to humor his expression a little more. and his jaw drops further.
so, he almost blew his month’s allowance to get you coffee when there was a perfectly (and free!!) working coffee machine right here?
“great” he pushed his tongue into his cheek to try and conceal the frustration bubbling in him and it took everything in you to not snicker.
“why haven’t you been coming in these days? grades got too good?” you gave him a small smile, only to see that all the tension that dissipated had built back up when his eyes flashed with realization as to why he came here and he straightened himself back to same posture he had when he walked in-rigid and stern.
“i actually wanted to talk you about something” you knew exactly what he was going to ask you about but you settled to hear it from him first, you could already feel your stomach sinking, and you were foolishly hoping he would ask you about the coffee machines again.
“oh yeah? what is it?” you asked with pursed lips while your fingers nervously fiddled with the lid of the coffee cup and jin took a deep breath, contemplating whether to ask you or not but ever the forward person he was, he did.
“i heard a lot about you, just recently actually, i’m pretty sure you know what i’m talking about. but i don’t know how much of it i can believe so i want you to be honest with me and tell me what happened. before we go any further with whatever this is, i want to hear it from you, y/n.”
“so, you got my name?” you delayed answering his question by taking notice of him saying your name for the first time. your name falling out of his mouth made you shiver a little, you swore that no one else could say your name like he did, you ached to hear it from him again and again.
“it was surprising that everyone around me knew but i didn’t.” he shrugged, taking his coffee cup and peering at you from the top, waiting for you to talk.
you see, jin actually thought of never talking to you again, because your situation just felt too messy and he didn’t know if he wanted to get involved.
but then he also felt he was being unfair by not knowing both sides of what happened so what better way to solve his confusion than ask the person who is directly involved?
besides, jin has blown too much money on coffee just to keep talking to you to give up now. and he doesn’t even like coffee.
“you need to be honest with me, i’m not here to intimidate you into talking or whatever, i’m here to listen to your side” and something about the way his eyes softened when he saw your hands shake a little, and then taking your quivering hands in his made you want to tell him.
you wanted to tell him everything with just the pure openness in his eyes and his willingness to hear you out before he concluded something about the situation, it warmed your heart that at least one person wanted to see how you felt instead of calling you names behind your back.
even if you might never see him because he could be disgusted with what you did and what you felt, you told him. you told him what happened, you told him the feeling that pooled in you after that fateful night, the same feeling you wouldn’t even admit to yourself. you even told him how you wouldn’t change anything except someone getting their heart broken because your relationship ended even before you cheated on him.
you told him everything you wouldn’t even whisper into the night.
jin listened to all of it with utmost attention and you even searched his eyes for any signs of judgment but all you saw was kindness.
kindness you didn’t feel like you deserved.
“you know, you keep saying he was hurt but from what you said, you were hurt just as much.” jin was right. but you didn’t reply because you were scared of admitting that if it broke his heart, it had broken you all over.
you were just as hurt over what happened as your ex-boyfriend but you felt like you didn’t deserve to feel pain when you inflicted it. but pain is a two-edged sword, you felt the same pain just in a different way. it was still pain, it was still you crying every night because you had no one to wish you good night except your parents, it was still you avoiding going into the cafeteria just to avoid the way everyone looked at you, your pain was still pain.
and no one but jin understood that.
“do you regret it?” he finally asked, pushing his cup away and looking at you pointedly.
“i regret cheating on him, not the breakup” you replied honestly, gulping a little and he hummed.
there was a tense pause in the air as you warily eyed him for any reaction but he didn’t give you any, keeping a stoic face and you felt like you couldn’t breath with how silent everything got, thankfully he gave your heart a break by speaking again.
“that’s fair enough. next time, let’s just get the coffee here.” he ended his sentence with a gentle smile which almost made you cry out of happiness because he didn’t run away.
he listened to the worst of you and stayed.
and you clung to his words ‘next time’ more than you thought you would.
-
jin meant what he said, he understood you were having a hard time too and he assumed alienation at college would be pretty harsh considering almost everyone knows everyone on campus. it must have been hard for you when everyone knew about your worst mistake and talked about it like it was teatime gossip.
but jin’s met tons of people in their worst moments, he’s learned to appreciate and admire the strength that individuals have to overcome shit instead of judging them for it.
he met jungkook when he seemingly had no aim and was just a lost young boy who was temperamental or sometimes too shy, he met hoseok when he was going through a rough breakup and was still trying to find himself, he found taehyung when he was a lot sterner and lacked understanding of others. and all his friends have been through their own shit, jin’s been through his fair share of shit too, he’s seen all of them and himself grow into who they are today and he’s proud of them and him too.
but jin knows you’ve already grown through the experience, now you just need to heal and be accepted again, and if no one else does that, he will. not because he was a hero or something, he just felt he couldn’t miss out on knowing someone like you just because you made one mistake.
jin didn’t give a shit about hushed whispers or the weird you would sometimes get when you held his hand, he could hear them calling him a fool for being with you but again, jin was determined to give you a chance for yourself and he wasn’t going to back down.
his unshaking faith in you made you believe in yourself too, he introduced you to his friends who were just as welcoming as he was. he felt his heart warm when you held his hand tighter each time someone would start a conversation with you, like you still needed him even with all those people around, jin felt like he could die a happy man, it didn’t take you long before you got comfortable around people again. 
jin couldn’t be prouder.
even right now, the library is still your favorite place, even after several days of spending time with each other, jin couldn’t deny how much more lively and confident you looked as you sat in front of him. this time with coffee made from the library machines near your hands and jin almost leaps from his seat when you look like you’re going to knock them over, you don’t even notice how his hands reach out and hold the cup still, instead just going back to write on your brightly colored flash cards (you have taken a liking to bright stationery because of him, you’ve even gone on dates to stationery stores just for the heck of it.)
jin feels endeared and lets out a light chuckle, because you look very cute with your eyebrows scrunched, lips in a slight pout as you furiously jot down points, your hair ever so slightly falls on your face, you just seem so into your own world and like you’ve tuned out everyone else.
but he also frowns at the realization that you’ve probably gotten used to not having anyone around and tuning out everyone was the easiest way you could deal with being alone. he knows that feeling creeps back in you even if you are doing better now.
so, he picks up his books and bag in a hurry making you look up at him with widened eyes, and just as you are about to ask him where he’s going, he seats himself right beside you.
he’s determined to never make you feel lonely again.
he’s also determined to prove to you that it’s okay too feel everything you do, be it pain, be it happiness.
he feels like he’s in love? he feels exactly like what they’ve been calling him, a fool.
a fool in love to be more specific, a fool because just by sitting there, you make him want to fight the world for you.
and jin is okay with being a fool. he’s okay with being a fool for you.
genre: fluff, crack, tiniest bit of angst (2.4k) (request for @ofrosesandteacups) i hope you enjoy reading this one as much as you liked your previous one, thank you for your request :]
summary: he doesn’t want you to leave but jungkook isn’t cruel enough to stop you either.
now that jungkook’s seen it, it’s all his mind can think of and frankly who can blame the poor guy?
“to y/n,
we have been reported of your consistent pattern of growth and development in our seoul branch. we would love to have someone with your skills, expertise, and experience to join us in the states, particularly our main branch in los angeles, you will be guaranteed a contract of at least six months, it can be negotiated for further extension and your salary can be negotiated to a number that we can together deem fair as well. if you are interested in this offer, contact us on xxxxxxxx and our company’s e-mail is open to anything from you. we hope you consider us, thank you.”
he doesn’t know how many times he’s re-read the same sentences but all he knows is that the gravity of the situation isn’t fully sinking in for him. he bites his lip nervously as he shuts the laptop down, grimacing at the wall behind it. he feels his eyes starting to water from the pure frustration that filled his body.
you could be leaving.
he checks the date and it’s been almost a month since you’ve received this so you’ve probably already made a decision.
any minute, you might leave and not tell him for his own sake. you know how sensitive he is and you’re too nice to break his heart, so you would break the news to him very gently and then leave while pressing a kiss to his forehead. (jungkook knows everything about you at this point and he’s 99% sure this is how you’re going to do it. and he’s right).
and fuck him but that offer sounds great, good pay, steady contract, main headquarters, and as a cherry on top, it’s where your family lives as well. your family that he knows you miss a lot, every time they video call, you have the brightest smile on your face as you excitedly tell them everything, but as soon as the call ends, jungkook’s never pointed it out but he’s seen the way your eyes gather tears sometimes, he fucking knows how much they mean to you. and this offer is perfect, you get to be with them again.
you really have no reason to reject this.
but.
BUT.
hear him out.
as selfish as he sounds, what about him?
are you going to leave him behind, forget him, move on with someone else all while being successful and growing even more in your career?
why does that bother him so much?
he should be happy for you; this offer works out for you in every way possible and this is one more step for you to go to a remarkably prominent position in your career.
heis happy for you.
he’s overjoyed that you’re finally being recognized for your hard work and that people are coming with offers to you that they wouldn’t just give to anyone and he also knows that a higher pay can make you feel more at ease financially and you can finally buy that car you’ve had your eye on (jungkook offered to buy it for you both and you told him you would break up with him if he did so he’s steering clear from the car).
“what did the wall do to you, my beloved?” you stifle a chuckle when you come out of the bathroom to see jungkook wide-eyed and staring at the wall like he was burning holes into it. at the sound of your voice, he quickly snapped out of it and offered a small smile.
you didn’t know that he knows about the offer, and he doesn’t want you to know that he knows about it. but he wanted you to know that he will love and respect any decision you make because this is your life and it’s fine if you have to break up, he’s going to cry himself to sleep for a week, give a two-day break and then get back to crying because if he cries for too much, his eyes get puffy and stay red for too long and for heavens sake he can’t have anyone at work ask him during lunch why he’s crying with a literal sandwich stuffed in his mouth, and-
he needs to get a fucking grip, he’s spiraling.
“you know that i love you, right? and that you can do whatever you want because it’s your life and i’m no one to stand in your way” he blurts out as he pretends to read a book, hand rubbing his chin as if he was in deep thought.
congratulations to jungkook for never learning the art of being subtle.
“um thanks? but i already know all that baby” you laugh a little at his sudden confession for his unfaltering support to you. he lightly nodded, his mind clouding with thoughts of you leaving him for someone else who wouldn’t be such a burden to you and you deserve so much be-
and you interrupt him.
can’t a man think without being interrupted in this house?
“jungkook, babe?” you call out to him from where you stand, fluffing the towel on your hair with an amused grin on your face.
“yes babe?” he turned to you with sparkly eyes and a wide grin at your nickname.
“you’re holding the book upside down” you muse and then get back to drying your hair. he freezes and looks back at the book.
he is indeed holding it upside down, he’s been holding it this way this entire time.
wow.
how did he not notice that?
because he was too busy thinking of scenarios in which one of your work mates in america would swoop you right up with a dashing smile and that american accent you find hot (you don’t, but jungkook is too far down his own rabbit hole to correct that), and you would bat your eyelashes at them, they would wink at you and you would blush while looking away and then shyly accept their offer to dinner. you would forget all about jeon jungkook from seoul, korea and get engaged to that person, and jungkook, who is still very much in love with you, would attend your wedding and then cry at the reception while he drinks that champagne you like, he will walk up the stage with a forced grin and congratulate you and then fucking watch you drive away in your honeymoon car with that person.
and jungkook’s feeling just toasty about the whole thing. sometimes he wonders if he would do well as a drama writer. (he would do excellently.)
this would be a good time for one of his friends to call him so he can get away from this.
“now that i know you’re not actually reading, what is going on? you’ve been on edge for the past hour, you know you can tell me anything, right?” you sit down on the bed with a soft smile aimed his way and he sighs, putting the book down.
fuck, you’re too good to him.
when you speak to him in that gentle tone, jungkook doesn’t have it in him to reject your request. and even if you aren’t asking for anything, jungkook wants to give you the whole world. because in his eyes, you deserve the whole world, fuck the world, jungkook thinks the universe should be grateful that someone like you exists in it, he finds beauty in your very existence.
that’s how deep he is in it for you.
but he’s also afraid that he will never be able to give you the world he’s sure you deserve, he knows he gets busy and that he cancels dates and even if you don’t show it, he knows you get disappointed sometimes, he knows that you want to spend every day with him and trust him when he says he would rather stay in with you all day instead of stepping out but he has no choice in this. he knew what he was getting into when he chose the idol life and he can’t, doesn’t want to, back out now.
“i know that you get hurt when i can’t come on dates” he says, finally looking up to see you adjust your position to face him even more, eyes alarmed at his serious tone.
“jungkook, i know what i signed up for when we started dating, and yeah, it hurts sometimes but it’s okay, i know that you don’t do it on purp- “
“please let me finish” he whines out, and you immediately purse your lips, letting him talk.
“for me, you deserve a lot more than me. we don’t go out on dates enough, on a week night, we see each other for thirty minutes before going to sleep and in the morning, we’re both rushing to get out of the house and babe, i love you, a lot, and i never want to hold you back from what you deserve, even if it means leaving me behind” you open and close your mouth like a goldfish because you don’t quite understand where he’s going with this.
is he trying to break up with you?
“so it’s okay if you choose to go to america, the offer is great, i looked up the building and it’s so close to your parents home, so you can even meet them for lunch, and i’m sure there’s a lot of attractive men and women in america for you to meet and i completely support that, your happiness is all that matters to me” he concludes with his voice cracking and eyes all lined up with tears. he can’t imagine waking up and not seeing you but that’s okay, he can bring back his plush toys from namjoon to cuddle. better yet, he’ll just bring namjoon home so he can have someone to cuddle when he’s sleeping. namjoon wouldn’t mind.
what else are friends for?
“you’re such an idiot.” you fall back into the bed with a huge grin on your face, your heart feeling all giddy from his words. but jungkook isn’t enjoying this half as much as you are.
he’s what now?
did he hear you right? did you just call him an idiot?
“did i say something wrong? i just wanted to let you know that i support you all the wa-“
“jungkook, i’m not going to america, i rejected their offer a long time ago.”
you what now?
well, that’s a relief, you could’ve told him ten minutes so he wouldn’t go through two panic attacks but jungkook’s finally feeling like he can breathe again.
you’re not leaving, thank god.
now that he thinks of it, he was so fucking dramatic for nothing. nothing !!
“then why was the stupid mail open on your laptop? i gave myself a heart attack with that shit” he complains loudly as you happily laugh at his misery, cooing and kissing his cheek when he falls into the bed next to you.
“i used that mail to get myself a raise here, i showed it to the branch manager here and let him know how much they were willing to offer, and it didn’t take long for him to agree to a higher price just to keep me around” you have a proud grin on your face and jungkook is in awe at how smart you are.
“my little genius” he sings while peppering kisses on your face, which you giggle into and push him away after a minute.
“i’m more than happy that you’re staying but why aren’t you going back though? you miss your family and this could be a good opportunity to see them” he gets all quite and worried after he says that.
he doesn’t want you to reconsider, he wants you to stay but he knows that this could be good for you. he doesn’t want you to waste your choices.
“i miss them, but i’m fine with video calls and visits, and they are too, we are making it work somehow and besides, if they see me every day, they’re going to complain about everything i do to which i say no thank you, i’ll keep my ass here” jungkook laughed as you scowled at the thought of your parents eventually getting sick of you.
“and besides” you looked at him with those same gentle eyes that he’s so fond of.
“i have a family here too, and i can’t bear missing them” and jungkook cried, like actually cried, he scooped you into his arms and rocked you both back and forth while crying because oh my god, you think of him and the members as family and he’s sure that he’s going to marry you no-
too far.
but even when he’s crying into your arms and you’re patting his back, completely amused at how sensitive he can be, he’s still more than relieved that he doesn’t have to worry about some white dude hitting on you. the mental image itself made jungkook want to punch a wall.
and yeah, jungkook is definitely putting a ring on it. (how can he not, you called him family !!)
his heart can only take so much.
now, he’s going to use his perfect drama writing skills to plan out the most dramatic, fantastic proposal that anyone’s ever seen which will make you cry.
he’sdead set on making you cry because he’s sick of being the only one who cries in your relationship. (you didn’t even cry while watching titanic and jungkook was half-convinced you were heartless, and would have continued to believe that if it weren’t for you loving him the way you do, he loves you but he’s going to see you cry when he proposes, just wait and watch.)
so don’t interrupt his thoughts again please, a man needs to think in his house.
“should i buy that car as a celebration of you staying?”
“i will go see which flight tickets are available to america.”
when you first met taehyung, you didn’t imagine how far you guys would come along, sure you liked him from how your friends described him and how he presented himself to the masses, but to come to a point where a day wouldn’t go by without you missing him even as he sat beside you, was beyond you.
you almost felt ridiculous for cuddling up even more to him just at the thought of him being gone for work the next day making him chuckle and gently pat your head. the tv played some old 80’s movie that taehyung loved and served as ambient music which was both romantic and full of yearning. just like the two of you sat in front of it.
“what’s got you like this?” he gestured to your arms that looked close to suffocating his torso but you didn’t weaken your grip, only burying your head in his chest even more.
“you’ll be gone all day tomorrow” you softly whined, your voice coming out muffled and just clear enough for taehyung to hear and he let out a sigh at your words. it was going to be so hard to go to work tomorrow, how could he possibly say goodbye to you for a whole 24 hours after you do and say the things you do?
“i promise i’ll make it up to you, we can go to dinner at that diner you like this weekend” taehyung offered, hoping that would lift your spirit up a little and you nodded happily, any time with him was perfect for you.
“deal” you whispered and before taehyung could ask you about which movie you wanted to start next, he heard your slow, even breaths fill the silence and he simply let a fond smile grace his face, as he shut the tv off and devoted his entire attention to watch you sleep. not in a creepy way, in more of a ‘you’re so fucking cute, i would die for you’ way.
and it was in that moment, your arms never losing their tight grip on him, your nose twitching ever so often in your sleep and your legs wrapped around his, taehyung decided that he was helplessly in love with you and that conclusion only solidified for him when he reached to kiss your forehead, he still felt his body erupt in tingles, these tingles that he gets whenever he’s with you haven’t died since the day, he’s met you.
taehyung was in love. and he wanted to shout it from any building in the world.
-
you kicked the blanket around your feet as you tossed and turned to avoid the sunlight burning your eyes awake, and with one final groan, you pushed yourself up to lay on your elbows as you cursed everything about the day when its barely begun. you saw taehyung’s side of the bed empty and sighed, you remembered how warm he felt last night, and how his voice put you right to sleep, your cheeks warmed as your mind travelled to how he promised you his weekend just so you wouldn’t be sad and your heart did a good old flip as you continued to think about him.
you heard yeontan yapping at your feet, waiting for you to give him all your attention and love, you gave the cheery dog a soft smile before scooping him up in your arms and letting him lick all over your face while you giggled and tilted your head away from his sloppy kisses, once he finally calmed down, you just buried your face into his fur and realized yeontan only reminded you more about taehyung.
this was going to be a long day without him.
you could feel your stomach drop a little at the sad realization and you deemed it so unfair that you couldn’t spend every minute of your life with hi-
wait a minute.
it hasn’t even been 8 hours since you last saw him so why were you acting like his funeral was tomorrow? why did you miss him so much when you were literally in his arms not too long ago?
your head snapped up as you caught yourself thinking that as your legs flung over the side of the bed, your eyes widened at your own thoughts. any and all romance draining out of your body, as familiar dread and paranoia took its place.
where was all this coming from?
the last time you felt like this, was in grade school, when you still wore a little skirt and tie, and sat at the bleachers as you watched your then-boyfriend with flushed cheeks and giddy eyes, play basketball, he would always take the ball, give you a cocky smirk and say, ‘this one’s for you’, only for the ball to always fall to the side instead of into the hoop. you would just give him an awkward smile and slow applause, maybe you should’ve taken that missed shot as a sign that your relationship would end in disaster.
because all the while you adored and gave him heart eyes, he would smile right at your face, only to send a wink and smirk to someone else over your shoulder.
and now, after all these years, you gave those same lovesick eyes to taehyung. and you could feel your palms getting sweaty just at the thought of your relationship ending the same way.
of course, you knew better, you’ve come a long way since school, done a lot of growing up, and now, you were confident in yourself and you were almost completely sure that taehyung never did that. almost.
but how much did you see? maybe you missed it at some point. you let out a loud groan and fell back on the bed with hair everywhere on your face.
fuck, you were royally screwed.
it wasn’t even noon and your mind was hell bent to make this your worst day.
how could you think of taehyung like this? sweet, kind taehyung, who’s giving you his weekend, taehyung who always kisses you on the forehead at night when he thinks you’re sleeping, taehyung who defended mint chocolate with an adorable pout on his face, taehyung who cooed and played with every baby he saw, taehyung who knew everything about you, the good and the ugly, and still stayed, and most importantly, taehyung who loved you.
he loved you, it was no secret. boy was as whipped as they come, and anyone with two eyes could see it and he didn’t have to say it to you for you to know, you just knew that he loved you, he trusted you enough to introduce you to his dog and that was a very big deal to him (you quote, ‘it’s like you’re meeting my parents’).
and that scared you, because holy shit, this man is ready to give you the world but would you ever be able to carry everything he gives you? were you ready to admit to yourself that you would give him twice the world he gives you because that’s how precious he is to you?
you aren’t ready.
and you don’t think you ever will be.
maybe you should’ve gone to therapy for your commitment and trust issues when you were still in university because you definitely regretted flipping the finger to your kind on-campus counsellor now (she was actually very condescending and forced you to talk about your problems instead of easing into it like a good counsellor would so fuck her but you were still on that train of hating yourself, weren’t you?). it was almost like you never thought your issues would come back to bite you in the ass.
whatever, you can push this under the rug like you always have. it should be fine, it’s the way you have always dealt with, push it under the rug or run away from it.
and you know how ridiculous your thoughts are right now, you couldn’t possibly run away from taehyung, because here you were, all dressed up in a baby blue dress with your hands occupied in three large bags of takeout food for the hardworking boys in the practice room in front of you. and yes, you also know how pathetic it is to be so scared of being in love with this man and then coming right back to him because what if he missed his lunch? (you just wanted to see his face and no, you couldn’t go an entire day without him).
you sheepishly poked your head in and saw all of them scattered around the room, their heads snapping towards the now open door and you quickly looked for your man in the crowd, only to find him already looking at you with surprise evident in his eyes and a confused but lovely broad grin on his face as he happily skipped to you, pulling you in and closing the door behind you, almost immediately enveloping you in a warm hug.
“what are you doing here?” he happily sighed into the crook of your neck, and you could feel your heart stutter a little at the clear joy in his tone. you pulled away from him to lift the bags in your hands up.
“thought that you could use some food” you tilted your head to look at everyone else, giving them a shy smile and bow, taehyung looking at you with those eyes that he seemed to always look at you these days.
those lovesick eyes.
“fuck i love you” he chuckled slightly, grabbing the bags from your hands and walking away to set them on a table, not noticing how wide your eyes have gotten or the panic in your face as he said it.
he finally said the words you’ve been both dreading and longing to hear, and in such a casual way, you knew he just said it in a playful way for all the food you brought in but that didn’t mean your heart didn’t drop to your ass when you heard them. you snapped out of your trance when your ears caught them call you in a chorus, ushering you over to them.
“everything okay?” he whispered just low enough for you to hear, making sure that it didn’t catch anyone else’s attention. and as much as you wanted to fall on him and tell him everything your mind was putting you through, you gave him a tight smile and nodded your head.
you quietly walked up to them and only spoke when you were spoken to, a little too lost in yourself, looking to the side when taehyung nudged your elbow a little. you were never this silent, you were always bubbling with things to say or you made some dry jokes about your own suffering that had the whole room laughing, but right now, you just weren’t you. and that worried him.
“of course, i am always okay” you let out a nervous chuckle slip past your lips as you said it, cursing yourself for the slight break in your tone.
you weren’t okay.
you weren’t okay at all.
and taehyung knew that.
you could tell he wasn’t convinced at all with your answer so you just sighed and decided to come clean.
“we will talk about this later, okay? it isn’t anything bad, but it isn’t necessarily good either” you rambled silently, and taehyung, though unconvinced and worried sick now, nodded in agreement, giving you a side hug and kiss to your temple making your heart wrench in place even more.
“you know i love you, right? and that you can tell me anything?” you knew.
that was the problem.
you fucking knew he loved you and you didn’t know how to handle that.
but until your inevitable discussion later, you just leaned in for a kiss on his cheek making his cheeks flush and hurt a little at the almost immediate smile that grew on his face.
“aw look at them being all cute” jimin cooed from where he stood, clearly not having noticed the prior tense environment around the two of you.
“i’m telling you, it’s the honeymoon phase. they’ll be at each other’s throats soon” jungkook snickered harmlessly, as the others argued that you both have been in this honeymoon phase since forever now and it didn’t seem to go away anytime soon. and you turned red as they all continued to tease the two of you, making lighthearted jokes at how whipped you were and you didn’t have it in you to laugh like you usually would.
with jungkook and everyone else around you, people who you have become so comfortable with, it was all too overwhelming, you fit in so well, almost too well and that was one more thing for you to worry about.
when did you start feeling so at home with all of these people?
and why did spending lunch with them feel so normal all of a sudden?
you usually had lunch at your workplace with your friends, and you wouldn’t say you enjoyed it very much, because most of the time, you all were too exhausted to hold fun conversations, so it was all a very monotonous routine. but now, with taehyung and rest of them, you could feel bubbling energy every second you spent with them and it just felt so perfect.
but did it feel that way for them? or were you just intruding on their normal routine?
after a silent excuse to leave to work early and way too quick of a goodbye, you left with an even heavier mind than the one you spent all morning with. and even if you thought you were being subtle, your sour mood caught the attention of everyone in the room who were more concerned than you thought they would be.
“are you ready to tell me what’s going on with you?” taehyung walked in your apartment to see you slumped on the sofa, eyes teary with your focus on the tv which played somber ending music to a show (you weren’t crying because of the show, you were crying because oh my fucking god did you hate being you at that very moment, you were wallowing in self pity and with thoughts that you’ll die alone and loveless with around 20 cats, you even placed an order for catnip and bed impulsively for a cat you didn’t even own). you were doing great, clearly.
you couldn’t delay this conversation anymore without hurting either of you two even more.
“huh?” you sniffed, turning to see him pulling his coat off while keeping his narrowed and concerned eyes on you, you have never heard that tone on taehyung or seen him so agitated in a while.
at least both of them were never directed at you.
he dropped down next to you on the sofa, pulling the large bag of chips from your arms and setting it aside before looking right at you, refusing to break eye contact, leaving you to be the one to break it off with a sigh.
“i’m going to need you to listen to me without saying anything for the next 10 minutes because this is really hard for me to talk about, and i am not even sure what my actual problem is, i just don’t feel okay and i think i’m going to explode any second” you rambled, clearing your throat awkwardly at the end and crossing your arms across your chest like you were trying to protect yourself from your own words.
taehyung had never you seen this vulnerable, with your red-rimmed eyes, quivering lips and a loose sweater hanging off your shoulders, refusing to look at him, instead focusing on the socks adorning his feet and voice coming out in quiet gasps and whispers that he could barely hear.
you looked so fragile, so close to breaking to him. and that broke him too.
“whatever it is, we will figure it out together” he softly let out, forcing your arms out of the hold it had over your chest and tenderly grasping onto your hands, it made you feel exposed, even more vulnerable than you already were.
“i told you to be quiet” you choked out in a groan, tears pricking your eyes and he immediately cooed, rubbing the back of your hands and assuring that you now have the complete room to yourself.
“you know how things are going so well for us? like we spend at least 5 days in a week together and we’ve introduced each other to our friends and we’ve spoken briefly to each other’s parents too?”
“yeah, we’re obsessed with each other god.”
“taehyung?”
“yeah?”
“shut up.”
“okay” he chuckled and gestured for you to continue, making you smile a little too.
“i just feel like everything is going so well, and i feel so happy, so comfortable, i feel like i’m at a place in my life that i’ve been running towards my whole life but now that i’m actually here, i feel…scared?” taehyung raised an eyebrow at the end of your sentence, but not questioning anything because you continued your worried rant.
“it’s like, everything about you and your life has fit in so perfectly with mine, even with your busy schedule and my pain-in-the-ass work hours, we somehow make it work but i’m scared that it will all just go away at some point and i’ll be back at square one. i’ve never felt like this before, i love you, a lot and i love everything about us, i’m so happy with how we are, i just need reassurance that we will stay like this for as long as we can be, that’s all” you let out a deep breathe you didn’t know you were holding and looked at him nervously, chewing your bottom lip and you were sure that you bit it too hard. your heart pounded so hard, it felt like it was going to escape the cage of your chest.
“first off, stop biting your lip like that, you’re going to split it open and second, i love you too and third, is that it? you’re scared that we won’t last?” taehyung looked at you in disbelief that you would even think that you could get rid of him as his hands tightened around your own.
“and that you will leave me for someone else” you sighed out, figuring that it was best to just lay it all out there while you’re at it. taehyung just looked down and shook his head, as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
“you really don’t have a clue of how in love i am with you, do you?” you slowly shook your head at his rhetorical question.
“well, i guess i have to remind you. you have nothing to worry about when it comes to us, okay? whatever we are, and whatever we will become, i promise to try my best to always make it work for us, because just like you said, i love us and i love you. and if you don’t know what to do, we can figure it out together, i haven’t been in many relationships either, at least not meaningful ones so i have no clue but together, we can do anything, yeah?” he waited for your nod which came shortly after his words, you didn’t even realize you were crying until taehyung reached up to rub your tears away gently with his thumb, all while holding a soft smile to you.
“i love you, okay? and i am not going anywhere, i don’t want to be anywhere else so next time you feel like this, don’t suffer alone, come to me and we can either cry together or i can kiss your tears away, whichever works for you, though i would prefer the k-“ he was cut short when you literally threw your body on top of his, he immediately broke into a small giggle, reaching to wrap his arms around you too.
“i think you liked the kisses idea” he lightly teased making you laugh and mumble a low ‘shut up’ into his hoodie.
“do you promise? that we’ll try till we can’t?” you leaned back with glassy eyes and he smiled, nodding his answer.
“i promise, now you shut up and come back here” he pulled you back so that you would fall with your head nestled into his neck again.
“oh, one thing” he spoke up again and you let him continue.
“can you bring us lunch more often? because they all seem to love you more than they love me” he pouted a little, recounting how everyone rushed to ask him if everything was okay with you after practice was over and you smiled a little, feeling a little stupid for worrying so much about intruding on them.
“of course, as long as i get to see you” you jokingly blew him a kiss to which he reacted with an equally dramatic reaction, clutching his chest and scrunching his eyes shut, acting like he got shot and falling off the couch, the silence being filled with your loud laughs.
and that is how you end all your nights with him, filled with joy, and filled to the brim, with love.
turns out you didn’t need therapy after all.
but what were you going to do with all that catnip now?
• Here are some of my favourite Jungkook fics. Go through these recs and find something to nourish yourself with. Show your support for these talented authors by leaving a comment and sharing feedback on their works. For posting their fics on the internet, each and every author listed here deserves a big warm hug. Thank you to each and every one of these authors for their efforts, we really appreciate your content •
