⤑ Paring: Jungkook x reader (with a little bit Namjoon x reader and Taehyung x reader)
⤑ Genre: wolf!au, soulmate!au, collage!au
⤑ Summary: y/n has been feeling a certain darkness ever since she got her period. Something was calling her and one day that ‘light’ came into vision. You’d never thought however, that it would be a werewolf.
⤑ Rating: 18+
⤑ Warnings: mentions of rape, depression, smut, oral sex, window-sex, shower-sex, knotting, marking and animalistic behaviour.
⤑ Wordcount: 9.5k
⤑ A/n:hey!! This will be my first story on this account. I used to run another tumblr account, but I felt like I needed a new start hehe. Hope you enjoyed this one!
‘why is it so dark?’, you ask yourself as you try to see, but nonetheless fail to do so. It’s too dark. You can’t understand what you feel, but it has been the darkest feeling you have had in your whole life, though you might not yet be that old. It is creeping up on you, like a tiger or some other creature. It might’ve always been there, but never this strong. Never since this very moment. A white ray stands tall in front of you, all too sudden but not unwelcome. You feel like you need to be there, like this might be the place that brings you the peace you have been seeking. You know the feeling, the dark feeling, ends with this light. It all fits too well…
You take a step forward, but when you look down to see where you are walking on, you don’t see your feet. It’s only you, like a floating conscious. Even though it got you distracted for the smallest second, you knew this wasn’t important enough. The only thing worth doing right now is taking another step towards this warm and sunny light. Another step was taken and you feel your body heating up. Even though the light is your answer, you are still reacting to it in all the negative ways. ‘Is this what I need? It’s probably better than that horrifying darkness around us. Around me and this light’.
So without another thought, you take three more steps. There it is, right in front of you. You can feel your whole body reacting in heath, but you still feel save somehow. It’s resisting and it feels unnatural, but you haven’t felt as connected in so long with such a simple thing. You want it. No, you need it. And it also needs you. Two sides, two consciousnesses needing one another. But it doesn’t feel enough. You need more. You need to be closer. You need hi-.
‘Y/n? You are burning up! Are you okay? Wake up!’.
The sudden voice wakes you up in one simple snap. Your eyes spring wide open as you look scared towards your friend, who just as well returns that look. Namjoon puts his hand on your forehead. You flinch as he retracts his hand as fast as lighting, making a gesture as if your forehead is about a 100 degrees. ‘Damn y/n, that should be illegal. It’s way too hot. Please go to the nurses office’, he exclaims.
You put your hand on your heart, feeling how fast it’s beating. It’s so fast that you can feel it in your whole body. You are trying to recall your dream, but you only seem to remember that you felt a dark feeling. It must’ve been a nightmare. You check out your surroundings as you felt quite out of place, but you soon notice you are still in the comfort of your school’s library. You let out a breath, shaking off that weird experience and you try to calm down your body. ‘I think I had some kind of nightmare’, you inform Namjoon before picking up your pencil.
You have been working all night with your classmate. You were assigned to work together on a project. Since the both of you had a hard time to find a good spot in your agendas to work together, you found that only today you could really work on it. So you both took the chance and ended up working all night. You pull out your phone and you notice it’s already 11 pm. Your eyes widen. ‘Namjoon, why didn’t you wake me up? We really need to get going. Can we still get out of the building?’. He chuckles and shrugs. ‘Thought you could use some rest, you’ve only been gone for twenty minutes, so don’t worry. But you’re right. We should go home’. You let out a small sigh before clearing out your desk. He didn’t mean it bad, so you let it go. You both pack your things and go home.
As you walk your way to your dorm, you can’t help but feel that same creeping feeling. You feel that darkness. It’s not uncommon for you anymore. It has been a few years already, the moment you had your period. You have felt it ever since that moment. You can still remember the first dream about it. It was like just now, dark and alone. As if there was something or someone missing from your life. Your mother showed her concern about it and took you to a doctor, who gave you a number of a psychologist. There we thorough experiments, but no one could really tell what it was and how to get rid of it. At some point you found yourself at a more spiritual room. That was even more traumatic, as she just looked at you in fear and told you to leave within a few seconds. It got you thinking. Are you some kind of devil? Some kind of lost soul from another world, what certainly isn’t holy? This time though, this last dream, it was different. Different from your other dreams. You did feel the darkness, but there was something else. It felt refreshing and warm, something you haven’t felt in so long. Whatever it is, you hope that same feeling will return to you. And this time you won’t be woken up. This time it will stay with you.
summary: will you ever be able to get over your crush on kim taehyung?
a/n: this marks the end of the fools universe (which can be read individually)! i’m very overwhelmed and excited for this final part, but i will miss writing this universe a lot, i struggled a lot with this one but i’m happy with the ending, thank you to every single one of you who’s read it, it means the world and more to me, i hope you enjoy this last part a lot <3
“i don’t know what to say, kim taehyung” taehyung hangs his head low as his professor chews his ear out, he really should have just finished his assignment instead of being curious about jin’s love life.
“you are not even close to passing this semester, let alone having a decent grade, i know you take this subject as a minor but it still affects your overall score” taehyung nods at his words, wincing every now and then because he didn’t realize the gravity of the situation until his professor narrates it to him.
“you know that this could potentially harm your scholarship, right?”
“i am aware” taehyung shamefully replies and his professor sighs at him.
“taehyung, as your parents friend and well-wisher, you worked hard for this scholarship and i can’t just watch you throw it all away” taehyung absolutely hates when his professor gets personal with him.
why not just lecture him and let him go?
he can take the harshest words without feeling a lot but the second it gets personal; he feels guilty for slacking off.
and taehyung hates feeling guilty.
“because i know how much this will hurt your record in the long run, i will pass you this one time, only once” as soon as those words leave the professor in a disappointed sigh, taehyung internally cheers but it’s short-lived. someone enters the same classroom and taehyung doesn’t know who they are which is weird considering he knows all of his classmates. at least he thought he knew everyone. he carefully eyes the new person in the room, with furrowed eyebrows and pouted lips, trying to identify her.
“ah, y/n, right on time as always” so her name is y/n.
taehyung doesn’t understand why she looks so nervous but he just assumes she’s just one of those people who doesn’t like being around people.
“you asked me to come, sir?” you trail off, already feeling a blush crawling at the back of your neck with taehyung in the same room.
it’s no secret (to yourself) that taehyung has been your crush since you started university and saw him having a playful banter with the professors and just seeming to have a blast with his friends, he was simply the coolest person you saw, and that led to a hopeless crush on your side, but you also know that he has no clue about you.
and suddenly being in the same room with him, you feel flustered and intimidated, not in a bad way, more so in a ‘wow, you’re even more gorgeous up close’ way and your hands don’t keep still, they keep shaking with a mind of their own and your head is nothing but a fumbled mess.
“yeah, your assignment was perfect, you covered every important point but still managed to make it easy to read, keep it up, y/n.” you stay silent with the praise you get as your professor hands your graded assignment with a smile on his face and you bow before taking it from him.
A.
you sigh in relief and look up to notice taehyung giving you a weird expression, and you didn’t know what to make of it, you were sure you didn’t look that ugly today nor was your hair a mess, today had been a good day, looks-wise for you but then again, you imagine that a guy like taehyung has higher standards.
taehyung, on the other hand, just couldn’t understand how you don’t react to the praise or the high grade, if it was him who got an A, he would be busy getting smashed in some bar but your nonchalance confuses him.
whatever, he’s got a failed semester to care about right now.
“and right, you asked me if you could tutor someone for extra credit?” the professor asks you and you nod in response, you need that extra credit for your scholarship to hold for the next few semesters, and a little extra money from it wouldn’t hurt you either.
“yes, i did”
“what about him?” the professor points to kim taehyung and your eyes widen, but it seems like you’re not the only one taken aback because taehyung immediately turns to the professor with a frown on his eyes.
oh, he does not like the idea.
you can’t help but be a little disappointed when he looks that annoyed over this.
he doesn’t even know you so you can’t exactly blame him but his reaction makes you internally wince.
“you didn’t even ask me” taehyung complains noisily to the professor and you just keep your head low, deciding to talk only when you’re spoken to.
“you really don’t have a choice here kim taehyung, you are failing and only passing because i passed you, and the least you can do to improve is get a tutor, i would be grateful if i were you, y/n is one of the best students we have.” you feel a little bashful with all the praise you’re getting, the professor is always this way with you but you can’t take it gracefully with your crush is standing right there.
but it’s just dawning on you that you have to tutor him, your crush, actually spend time with him, help him out and improve his grade, spending time with him is the only thing you could think of right now though even if it both terrifies and excites you the slightest bit.
mostly terrified though.
“fine” taehyung surrenders with a not-so-subtle glare thrown to the professor who really couldn’t give less of a shit by the looks of it.
“good, you two can work out a schedule together” the professor says dismissively, grabbing the papers off his desk and his bag, nodding at you two and leaving the room.
the room felt suffocating with taehyung’s heavy mood and your inability to defuse it, you are supposed to discuss the plan with him but you’re not going to initiate it, you don’t want to seem that desperate, besides you think it’s better to leave him when he looks annoyed, you don’t want to accidentally piss him off.
so, you quickly turn towards the door and speed walk out of the room, taking a deep breath and leaning against a wall outside the room, you didn’t expect this from the end of your day. seeing taehyung from anywhere closer than ten feet away is definitely not what you expected and your heart is still pounding from being in the same room as him, you feel warm all over and you don’t know if you feel elated or embarrassed.
-
you groan and take your glasses off to rub at the bridge of your nose, classes were a drag and you have work piled on for the weekend, it’s not like you had any plans but it would have been nice if you could rest for a bit, and the lunch in front of you isn’t helping at all. it doesn’t look appetizing and smells old, you are not even sure if you can eat it.
“what’s up?” you hear from right beside your ear making you gasp and flinch, moving away from the sound and your glasses slide off the table, making a clattering sound that makes you flinch more.
“woah, calm down” you lift your head to see taehyung standing there with a huge smile and your eyes widen, he picks your glasses up and holds them out to you, you take them back with shaky hands and put it on yourself.
when did he get here? you usually notice when he’s in a room.
“you scared me” you mumble and push your glasses up, unable to look straight at him for more than a few seconds, you don’t think you can handle that, so, just imagine the way your heart jumps to your throat when taehyung takes a seat right beside you.
“didn’t mean to do that, sorry” he smiles brightly as he leans his face on his propped-up hand and sits wide-legged in front of you, his knees are brushing over your legs and if he noticed, he doesn’t care about it but you do, you care about the way your heart slips continuously when his skin carelessly touches yours.
he definitely looks like he is in a better mood than he was a few days ago.
“it’s okay, did you need something?” you look down at your food, picking at it with a small whine caught in your throat as you wait for him to answer.
“we need to discuss our schedule” you raise your eyebrows at him, you thought because he never got in contact with you again, that he simply just didn’t want it and you brushed it off, thinking it was probably better for you too, your crush on him was embarrassingly huge and you know how nervous you will get, so you were relieved when he didn’t try to contact you.
“i thought you weren’t doing it” your response is as nervous as you feel.
“i wasn’t but i don’t have a choice” he chuckles awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. he looks ridiculously attractive in his simple oversized t-shirt and cream-colored trousers and his awkward habit is endearing, your cheeks flush as you look away from him and back to your food.
“can we talk about this after i’m done eating?” you never really prepared yourself to have a conversation with him so you just wish he leaves you alone for now and comes back when you’re not feeling and looking like shit.
“you’re going to eat this?” taehyung murmurs in disbelief, side glancing the less-than-appetizing food in your tray.
“i don’t have a choice” it feels weird to repeat his words to him but from what you can see, he doesn’t think too much about it which is a huge relief.
“yes, you do” he says with a sigh, getting up and you look up at him with scrunched eyebrows.
“you’re coming to lunch with me and don’t worry, it’s my treat, one of many now that you’re my tutor” he grins easily at you, grabbing your backpack from the seat and eagerly waiting for you with bright eyes and his entire posture is relaxed, like having lunch with a stranger is totally okay with him.
is this what extroverts are like?
why was he so comfortable with you? this is your second time meeting and you didn’t even speak directly the first time.
it didn’t seem like he was asking you to come either, more like just waiting for you to join him, so you get up with a stammer in your step, anything that is not your college lunch is something you would welcome happily and lunch with taehyung doesn’t seem like a bad idea, not yet.
but you’re nervous, though one thing that saves you is that you have always been good at hiding how you feel.
taehyung smiles at you one last time, so easily, so beautifully, like it wouldn’t make you stutter, before turning around and leading the way, with your backpack slung over his shoulder, you feel too shy to ask for it and that you will probably stutter through your words when you speak to him, so you just silently follow him out of the cafeteria, ignoring the weird looks you two got on the way out.
you cautiously step into the classy bakery that taehyung takes you to, he tried to make conversation on the way but your answers were so short that even you felt embarrassed, taehyung though, didn’t look like he cared, if he found you awkward, he didn’t show it and you were grateful to him for that.
“namjoon hyung is the manager here, so i can get us a pretty discount” he winks at the end of the sentence, obviously as a joke but you can’t help how flustered you feel with a simple wink.
you are eating lunch with your crush who you thought was way out of your league, is something you have dreamed about, you never actually expected to sit across taehyung as he talks animatedly about how good the coffee and desserts are here.
judging by the fruity and addictingly sweet smell that fills the air around you, you don’t question his praise, your own mouth waters at the thought of the pretty pastries you see lined up right at the counter and the coffee bean smell is so soothing, you might have just found your favorite place that wasn’t your apartment.
a waiter (you can’t believe he’s a waiter with how handsome he was) comes up to you both but taehyung already seemed to know the guy who groaned as soon as he saw taehyung, taehyung leans back lazily in his seat with an ever-present grin on his face.
“why do you come back with a new girl every week?” the pouty guy whines at taehyung and your eyes widen with your head still down, so you’re not the first one he’s brought here, it was foolish of you to think so as well and taehyung playfully swats at the guys arm, his grin unwavering and you only purse your lips at the empty table.
god, you want to run away.
“order whatever you want” he gestures to the menu and you quickly scan over it, a low squeal in your throat when you see that they have your favorite, pho and fudge brownies. you lift your head to tell taehyung to see him in an animated conversation with the waiter, nudging him from time to time and just looking like he was having the time of his life, like he always does, you lightly tap the table to get his attention and he immediately abandons the conversation and leans over, making you move back at the sudden movement, he only seems amused by your reaction.
“you’re a little quiet, so i just wanted to listen to you better, what did you decide on?” he explains simply and you can’t help but gaze into his eyes as he keeps them steady on you, for someone like him, eye contact isn’t a problem, isn’t a big deal but it makes your heart pound, you nod slowly and mumble your order, sinking back into your seat.
“excellent choice, pho and brownies for two, and is it alright if i order the drinks?” he turns to you for confirmation and once he’s received a mumble of agreement, turns back to the waiter.
“two peach iced teas” and with that, the waiter leaves but not without smacking taehyung one last time. taehyung pretends that he’s in a lot of pain and winces childishly which has you holding back a smile as the waiter shakes his head at him before disappearing to the back, your eyes curiously follow him to the counter where all the desserts are laid out.
taehyung is quick to catch your wandering eyes and finds it funny that since he’s met you, the only time he’s seen you smile is when you’re looking at desserts.
“you want to take a look?” taehyung walks towards the counter, which has you trailing behind him. you slowly take in the view of all the chocolate pastries that could be in your stomach and taehyung stays right at your back, watching you move around excitedly and admire them.
“are you into baking or something?” he finally asks after five minutes of you moving around him with big, fascinated eyes.
“no, i just like to eat” your answer comes out before you can even think about it and you only realize it when taehyung breaks into a chuckle at your words, making you shuffle on your feet, clearing your throat and looking back at the especially good-looking tiramisu.
“are you always this quiet or is it just with me?” the question takes you off guard, and you think taehyung is upset but there is no hint of frustration or annoyance on his face, only genuine curiosity.
“i don’t like to talk much, it’s nothing against you i promise” you try to reassure and be as honest as you could.
“that’s a relief” he smiles and walks back to the table where your food is waiting, you walk back with a bounce to your step because you haven’t been this hungry in a while. and as soon as you sit down, you reach for your steaming bowl of pho and sigh in bliss.
taehyung notices your exaggerated reactions to your food and simply smiles to himself.
something about you, he likes it, he doesn’t mind being the only one talking the entire time, he doesn’t mind how you only seem to talk when spoken to, it’s new to him, he’s always surrounded by people just as extroverted as him, so this isn’t something he’s used to but taehyung doesn’t mind.
taehyung doesn’t mind at all.
-
you walk home with rosy cheeks that day, because you can finally confirm that taehyung is just as charming, just as care-free as he looks, and he’s very good company, usually people get annoyed that conversations with you feel one-sided and you don’t blame them but it’s freeing with how comfortable taehyung tried to make you feel.
it isn’t very good news to the crush you already have on him; you feel like it’s grown ten-fold. and it’s only the second time meeting him, you are nervous for your poor heart which jumps with every glance he gives you.
and with the schedule you two planned, consisting of meeting up almost every other day because taehyung simply wants his grades to not be on the ground, you are sure that your heart only will go through so much more.
your nerves don’t calm down as your legs bounce up and down below the table at the library you’re sat at, your lip hurts from how much you’ve bit it as you anxiously look around for taehyung who is yet to show up for your first tutoring session. you can’t look like this in front of him so you’re doing whatever you can to be as normal as you can be.
you have to get over him at some point, you can’t tutor him while giving him heart-eyes.
“hey!” a bright greeting comes from behind you and you almost fall out of your seat, your elbow slips on the table and your chin hits the table, as if scaring you at lunch back then wasn’t bad enough, you begrudgingly think and groan at the pain on your chin.
taehyung does nothing to help and just sits down beside you with a happy hum, his books dropping in front of him in a heap and his smile doesn’t budge even when you glare at him while rubbing your chin.
“do you have to scare me every time?” you whine, your chin already becoming sore, you’re in enough pain to not have the mind to worry about how stupid you just looked. he simply shrugs at you.
“do you have to get scared every time?” comes his almost immediate retort and how will you argue with that logic while processing how close these library seats are next to each other? your reply comes with a roll of your eyes, though you’re sure that your cheeks are as warm as the sun blaring outside.
taehyung finds absolute satisfaction and amusement from your reaction and it shows in the way he leans back proudly in seat as you pretend to jot down notes, at this point, you don’t even know what you are writing anymore but you’re writing.
suddenly, just as you’re about to finally stop acting like you’re busy and get back to him, your glasses are snatched from your face and you don’t even have to look to see who took it. taehyung twirls the glasses in his hands with a smug grin, and then puts them on, wiggling his eyebrows and pouting every now and then. and you feel your heart burst with how cute he looks.
if it was anyone else, you are sure you would have hated it. but it’s taehyung and you don’t think you could ever hate him.
you watch with curious eyes as he gets all serious and grabs a book, writing with an invisible pen furiously. you tilt your head because you don’t quite understand what he’s doing.
it takes quite a second to dawn on you that he’s actually imitating you.
“look at me, i’m y/n, star student” he squeals in a high-pitched voice that most definitely is not yours.
your mouth falls open in offence, and even before you could think about it, you swat his arm with a loud complaint leaving your lips, as he laughs at you, pushing your hand off and continuing to act like he was you. you groan and throw your head back in annoyance, though you really don’t feel as annoyed, you just feel a hundred times more comfortable with taehyung now.
after a string of complaints from you, taehyung finally gives your glass back but instead of just handing them back to you, he slides them on your face himself and you feel every bit of you twisting and turning at the simple action. you cough awkwardly into your hand and turn away from him, moving your books out of the way so you could get started.
“which subject do you want to start with?” as a response, taehyung drops a thick book right in front of you.
art history.
tricky but you can work with it.
“okay, how much do you know already?” you ask him and he thinks with lips pushed into a pout.
“can i be honest?”
“of course.” you nod at him.
“i know nothing, i slept through all the classes” he admits sheepishly and you giggle a little at his confession.
of course, not to be creepy or anything but you knew about this, you have unconsciously turned to see him in class more than a few times, only to see him passed out on his bench with his backpack covering his head.
“that’s alright, one thing that’s helped me with art history is memorizing it all like a story” you let him in on your secret, you always envision history like a story book, or a tv show that you’re invested in, thinking up characters in actual scenes, it helps you remember a lot better than just book material.
so, you tell him the same thing, you start explaining in brief various parts of print culture, origins of different eras, the rise of modern art that we usually see today, and artists that revolutionized the world of art, all in the form of a movie that taehyung intently listens to.
you didn’t expect him to listen as well as he did, but he stays quiet for the most part, politely lifting his hand to ask questions like he was in an actual class which made you grin the first time and taking notes when something seemed complicated.
by the time you’re done, it’s almost dinner time and the library is much emptier than it was before but taehyung still looks excited to learn more. it’s endearing how he listens to you like nothing else matters and makes you feel the tiniest bit special.
“that’s it for today” you announce with an exhausted smile on your face and taehyung stretches his sore limbs while yawning.
“that was a lot but it is more fun when you explain it” he drops the compliment casually, no regards to how that makes your nerves dance in sheer excitement.
“i’m glad you enjoyed it” you mumble shyly while packing your books into your bag. you get up, throwing it over your shoulder and look at taehyung only to see him already looking at you.
“i’ll go now, goodbye taehyung” your voice unwillingly pitchy at the end.
“goodbye, y/n” he repeats in the same tone as you and you roll your eyes yet again while walking away from his gleeful laughter and right outside the library, you break into the biggest grin ever, the butterflies in your stomach raging and tumbling over themselves because you simply can’t believe that the last couple of hours are real.
how will you ever get over him?
-
you groan as you plop down in your seat, you slept weird last night and your neck cramp still hasn’t gone away, your body aches all over, you don’t even know why, walking feels like you’re carrying a million stones and honestly, you would be anywhere but here if you had the chance.
there’s still a good 20 minutes left before class starts so you rest your head on the table and pray that you aren’t sick, you still have taehyung’s class today and it would be rude to cancel on only your fifth session with him.
just then, taehyung walks into the classroom, seemingly bustling with endless energy, surrounded by his friends who are just as bright and loud as he is, and with your head still on the table, you admire him. he’s wearing this red hoodie today and his hair looks very soft beneath, a quick thought that he looks perfect to cuddle comes to you and you want to slam your head on the table to stop thinking about him.
he suddenly glances around the room, as if he’s looking for someone and you try to lift your head from the table to look away but you feel way too weak to do anything so he catches your gaze, his face breaking into a huge grin as he waves at you gleefully, you slowly wave back, mentally wanting to disappear.
and you think that’s it, he will go to his seat and you will have to finish this class while looking like you’re going to die any minute.
but you were so wrong.
as soon as your hand drops back on the table, taehyung starts walking towards you, where his usual seat is definitely not there and stands right beside you with a worried look on his face.
“oh, hey” you try to cover your face a little more with your hoodie and your heart gets caught in your throat when taehyung pulls a chair to sit right by your side. you look like crap right now and the last person you need seeing you like this, is kim taehyung.
“you don’t look okay” he mutters with scrunched eyebrows and before you can say anything, he presses his hand to your forehead and your eyes go wide as he flips his hand and holds it there for a second.
“you’re literally burning, how long have you had a fever for?” he pulls his hand away and you finally feel like you can breathe again.
“i don’t know, woke up sick” you strain your answer, your head lulling back to fall on the bench, now that he’s confirmed you have a fever, you feel even sicker.
“come on, let’s go” taehyung gets up suddenly, gathering the books on your table and shoving them into your bag, then taking your backpack and his in one hand, looking at you expectantly.
“go where?” you frown up at him, class is going to begin in 10 minutes now, where could you possibly go without missing it?
“i’ll take you home” your mouth drops open at his words.
“but class is going to start” you try to reason but get interrupted with your own cough and he only looks more concerned.
“you shouldn’t care about class with a fever like that” he scolds lightly, taking your wrist and helping you up to stand, and you almost fall down in a slump again if it weren’t for him holding you.
maybe you are sicker than you thought.
“what will we even tell the professor?” you almost shout at him as he pulls you towards the back exit of the classroom, and when the two of you are out, he checks to see if there’s anyone else in the hallway and turns to you with a coy smile.
“who said we’re telling them?” is the last thing he says to you before he ducks and runs, pulling you with him but you don’t stop him or complain anymore, you know that it’s not only because you’re sick everywhere, maybe the thought of skipping classes shouldn’t have excited your tired body that much but the thought of skipping classes with taehyung made your body flush in new-found energy.
so, you let him pull you all the way out of campus, ducking here and there when you see a teacher or person in charge, giggling at each other with wide eyes only to shush each other the next second whenever there was a narrow escape, whispering your address to him part-by-part and him having to support your sick body from time to time.
even if it was wrong, and something you promised to yourself that you would never do, skipping classes with taehyung, with his hand securely around your waist (that had goosebumps trailing on your skin), even just as an acquaintance to you, felt better than anything you’ve experienced in your life. hell, he didn’t even feel like an acquaintance anymore, whether it was because of your raging crush on him, or just taehyung being taehyung, you’re not sure.
the pure adrenaline in your body had you gasping for more, more of what?
you are not sure.
you two eventually make it to taehyung’s car in the parking lot. he gently pushes you into the passenger seat and slides into the driver’s seat, only to find you knocked out with your head on the window. and with one final look at your peaceful face, he drives away with a fond smile of his own. taehyung doesn’t know what he’s feeling either.
and the next time you open your eyes, you feel just as sick and it’s late afternoon and you’re in your bed, still in the clothes you wore to college, you sit up too quick, instantly whining at the throbbing in your head while looking around with confused eyes.
when did you even get home?
“oh good, you’re awake” taehyung emerges at your door, seemingly out of nowhere and you jump in your place, clutching at your heart as you look at him with a gulp.
“w-what are you doing here?” you ask as he stays at the entry to your room.
“you fell asleep in the car and i didn’t want to wake you so i found keys in your bag and brought you up here, i hope that’s alright” he looks nervous for the first time since you’ve met him as he waits for your reaction with pursed lips. he doesn’t want you to feel uncomfortable with the situation, he just couldn’t wake you when you were both sick and looking as cute as you did in your lilac hoodie.
“did you..carry me? all the way up here?” you mumble worriedly.
“of course, how else would i bring you?”
wow, he says it so simply.
“you really didn’t have to do all of that, i’m sorry if it was a lot of trouble, i really appreciate it, thank you taehyung” you say with disbelief clear in your voice and with your jaw slightly slackened because you really can’t think of anything but a mental image of taehyung having to carry you because your lazy ass fell asleep in his car and didn’t get up. and you really want to bury yourself six feet under.
“can i come in?” he asks, polite as ever and you don’t even think before nodding, he slowly walks inside, sitting right by the edge of your bed, maintaining distance between you as if he didn’t put you on the bed himself.
he reaches forward and puts his hand against your forehead, and you feel your breath being taken away just like the first time and he hums while pulling it away.
“it’s better than before but sleep for the rest of today” he instructs you and gets up from the bed, you don’t want him to leave. something in you wants to make taehyung stay by your side but you don’t have anything that will make him stay so you just watch him walk himself out of your room.
“i got a few pills, they’re in your kitchen, you shouldn’t move around right now but take them once you get up, and don’t worry about it, i need my tutor to be healthy and well, don’t i?” he winks at the end of it as if to finally nail your heart to him only and then turns to leave with a loud goodbye and a wave of his hand.
you go to the kitchen after he leaves and just like he said, pills for headache and body aches are spread out on your tiny dinner table, along with packets of instant soup. you feel overwhelmed because even people who are close to you, have never done so much for you and taehyung did, taehyung did all this after just meeting you a few times.
and you’re left, head in hands, with so much to process that you don’t know where to begin.
-
taehyung never came late to your tutor sessions or waste too much time, sure he still fooled around, his favorite thing to do being constantly taking your glasses off you and playing with them whenever he gets too bored or snatching your books away and forcing you to talk about anything that was not related to your studies.
you still felt bashful the first day you met after the whole sick episode, but he didn’t even bring it up, just continued with everything like it didn’t even happen which you were grateful for, though a little disappointed, because that is the most anyone has ever done for you and you wanted to thank him properly even if he said that lunch at his favorite place would suffice for him. but you were also sure that you would end up accidentally confessing to him if you brought it up. so, you just never brought it up either.
you talked a lot, mostly about things that had nothing to do with subject but you enjoyed them, taehyung valued and respected your opinions, actually listened to you when you talked so you were comfortable to be not as quiet as you usually are, still shy but holding a conversation as much as you could and taehyung would pick up anything you left, starting a whole new conversation with whatever, you handed him.
it wasn’t hard for your crush on him to only escalate further, not when he looked as good as he did from a side angle, it was honestly unfair that he looked stunning with a simple shirt and trousers. he looked good in anything, and what he looked like during your studying sessions, was something you always daydreamed about.
like right now.
“are you even listening to me?” a hand waves in front of your face, and you jerk in your place, quickly sitting up straight.
maybe you shouldn’t daydream about him when he’s beside you.
“um of course, i was” you lie easily with a firm nod to make it further believable but taehyung is sadly too good at detecting honesty or lack thereof. so, when he continues to stare at you, a way of making you say it yourself, you can do nothing but oblige.
“alright, i didn’t listen to you, what were you talking about?” with your admittance, taehyung leans back in his chair with a smirk.
“what is it?” you urge him once again and he shrugs.
“you know, we started with art history, right?”
“yeah, we’ve almost covered everything, at least i think so” you tilt your head as you mumble those words, reaching for your planner where all the topics are written, and you start looking through them to see which ones you still have to cover.
then the planner is snatched from your hands, and you follow the planner with a whine, bending over your chair to reach it and it isn’t until you feel someone way too close to you that you pause to see your position. you are half leaned over his chair and one wrong move could end up with you on top of him, you immediately sit back in your chair, tightening your fingers on your cardigan and frantically pushing your glasses up.
taehyung, thankfully doesn’t look uncomfortable, maybe a little shocked with how wide his eyes were but that was it, he quickly recovers and gives an easy smile.
“i have a test tomorrow” why is he smiling about that? doesn’t he hate tests? you quirk an eyebrow as his smile only grows bigger.
“how do you think it will go?”
“about that, if i do well, don’t you think that, as my tutor, you owe me something, a reward of sorts?”
so, that is why he’s smiling so big.
normally you would refuse blatantly and move on, but you can never say no to taehyung and you want to at least hear him out before you turn him down.
“if you do well” you emphasize and he waves his hand like he isn’t worried about that, but you are worried about what he would ask of you.
“come to a party with me” his request is simple enough.
and you’ve been to parties, only to completely hate it unless you got drunk enough to forget it all the next morning. though it has been quite a while since you’ve been to one.
a party with taehyung? taehyung, who probably knew every single person in the room while you don’t know anyone at all?
“only if you get an A” is your predicament, taehyung has improved a lot but not enough to get an A which is why your predicament is perfect, you’re not saying no but you’re not saying yes either.
but taehyung looks confident, with a light shrug to your rule like it didn’t mean anything at all, it only scares you a little bit that maybe your rule will be useless at the end.
“i’ll let you know when i get the grade”
-
“i got an A!” comes taehyung’s cheerful voice through the phone and the first thing you feel is pride bloom through you because he must have worked so hard to get that A, you were sure it wasn’t easy at all for him and the second thing you feel is dread, because this means you have to go to the party now.
“you did great, taehyung” you sincerely reply and you hear his sigh of happiness which makes you smile too.
you’re happy that he’s happy.
“you know what this means right?” his words laced with cockiness that come from his first ever A.
“i’ll never leave you at the party, you can get as drunk as you want and i will be your ride” he says almost immediately after as if he knew that you were going to find some way to get out of this, and you internally groan because he’s made all the promises that could convince you.
and like mentioned before, you can never say no to taehyung.
“when is it?”
-
“you look great!” taehyung compliments you as soon as you get into his car and you feel yourself freeze at his good-natured comment, only being able to shyly nod at him.
but if you had to choose on who looks good here, it would definitely be taehyung.
he was wearing a fashionably torn t-shirt with a leather jacket and tight dark grey jeans which had you feeling even more flustered than usual, he was usually attractive but today, you were sure that he was planning to take someone home, it would be a shame if he didn’t. he hands you his pale blue hoodie to hold, saying he brought it if he ever needed a change and trusted you to keep it away from drinks that can stain it, gives you one last smile and drives away.
the party was roaring even from the outside, people littered around the lawn, holding their drinks and you could hear the music all booming under your feet, you nervously pulled on the hem of your black dress as you went closer to the addictive but disgusting smell of alcohol and sweaty bodies.
so many people.
taehyung gripped both your arms on the sides as you gripped his hoodie tight in your hold, and he walked behind you, silently guiding your steps and greeting people joyfully on the way, it was a shame that you could only hear his happy voice but not see him under these alluring lights, you were sure that he looked better than ever under these blue and purple lights that made everyone look untouchable and beautiful.
“who’s the girl, taehyung?” someone shouts at him and you keep your gaze steady, not even wanting to turn around to see who yelled it, you anxiously wait for taehyung’s answer.
“my tutor” he yells back with a grin and you assume that the person has gone when taehyung gets right back to pushing you two through the crowds, apparently not noticing how your shoulders immediately slouch at his answer and how you aren’t even walking anymore, just being pushed around by everyone.
and for the first time since you’ve met taehyung, you feel disappointed.
you know now that your growing crush on taehyung will only end in your heartbreak.
he could have said you were a friend, or even an acquaintance, he’s been in your apartment for fucks’ sake, you would have been okay with anything really but the way he described you just made you feel so…unimportant. like you held no significance in his life, just another person for him to forget as he goes to spread his arms around the rest of the waiting world.
and you can’t be mad at him because you know it’s true, you are just tutoring him, he’s only doing this because he has to and not because he wants to, and as soon as this obligation expires, so will your time with him.
“hey, you okay?” you feel him whisper against your ear, hands still tight around your arms and you’re suddenly too aware of how close you two are, it hurts, being this close to him and not being able to call him anyone special to you, hurts a lot more than you imagined.
so, you shake his grip off, if you aren’t important to him, you will make him nobody in your life as well. you have to.
“yeah, i’m fine, where are the drinks?” try as you might, your voice just didn’t carry the softness it always has and even if you tried to conceal your sour mood, it didn’t work because taehyung immediately raised his eyebrows but shows where the drinks are anyway. you walk away from him, not really bothered anymore that you didn’t know anyone here, you just wanted to do exactly what you planned for.
drink and forget.
because taehyung just handed you rejection on a silver platter.
and you can’t take it gracefully when he’s right beside you. so, you had to go away before you could remember all the things you liked about him that could keep you pining.
taehyung felt…weird? he didn’t understand why you suddenly stopped talking to him in that sweet tone that comes naturally to you, he also doesn’t understand why you’re walking away from him to fend for yourself in a party where you don’t know anyone, he doesn’t know if he has done something to upset you and he felt…guilty.
taehyung felt guilty for a reason he didn’t know.
and taehyung hated feeling guilty.
to shake his own weird feeling off, he disappears into the crowd, to find anything or anyone who can drown his guilt away.
after a few shots of straight vodka, you find that you are not getting drunk at all, it’s either your overwhelming emotions that keep you from completely losing it or just your high tolerance.
it sucks because no drink is stronger in this place, you want to go home, you want to go back to when you didn’t come to this party where taehyung called you nothing to him. while he didn’t say that exactly, he definitely implied it. just then, you see him approaching you with a girl on his arm, no surprise there and you almost rolled your eyes at how predictable he could be.
“we’re playing this game; thought you would like to join?” taehyung trails off.
how nice of him to include his charity case for the game, you bitterly think to yourself but get up to go with him anyway, you can’t leave until he decides to go so you might as well play some game instead of wasting more alcohol that does nothing for you. so, you hop out of your seat and walk to him, greeting the girl next to him, you can be bitter to him but not to this girl who’s done nothing, she smiles back and then you’re leaving the kitchen.
you don’t say anything as you walk behind him into a living room where people sit in a circle, it’s noisy, there’s a bottle in the middle and you hate that you know what’s going on here.
it looks like a recreation of your middle school birthday party.
taehyung sits down, patting the spot next to him, and you look around to see if there’s place anywhere else but with nowhere else, you sit down beside him and the girl who he has with earlier is not around you anymore. he still looks at you, confused as ever and once you get comfortable in your position, he takes his hoodie from your hands and covers your bare legs with it which has you looking away with a red face.
he was making it so hard to get over him.
by the time you look back at the circle, it starts slowing down and your jaw drops open when it falls on you and taehyung.
everyone starts cheering at the bottle claiming its very first victims, and you never feel more out of place with people you don’t even know cheering you on to kiss taehyung and as for taehyung, he has a huge smile on his face which has you squinting with confusion at him. he calmly takes the hoodie from your lap, lifting it and pausing when he sees your face.
“trust me?” he whispers to you; his voice is almost drowned out in the loud music and people around you but you still hear it.
you shouldn’t trust him, you don’t want to but you don’t have a choice in this room full of unfamiliar people, so you just give him a meek nod which no one else notices.
then he drops the hoodie over the top of your heads, your bodies moving closer on their own accord, his palm now resting on your bare thigh and you’re face to face with the man you can’t get over no matter what you do. the heavy hoodie resting on your heads forces them closer as well, you can feel his breath on your cheek and he smells addictive this close, like cologne and pure sin with candy on his breath.
will he kiss you?
taehyung doesn’t say anything, just looks at you like he’s trying to figure you out, like he needs to figure you out, for the first time, he doesn’t look as confident, he doesn’t look full of life, just looks at you with such vulnerability like he’ll give you his heart if you stay under for too long, and your nerves and body are too frozen to even dare to look back at him.
after a few seconds which really felt like eternity, he pulls the hoodie from on top of your heads, the cold rush of air pushing you two apart, baring you to the waiting people in the room who roar and cheer louder than ever when taehyung smirks at them, you know that he’s just doing it for show, he didn’t actually end up doing anything at all even if you wished hard that he would.
but then you feel eyes on you, speculating, judging, confused eyes all over you because who are you and why did kim taehyung pull you under a hoodie when he usually just kisses people in front of everyone? you hate the attention, you hate the amusement at your flushed state in them, and you can do nothing but revert your gaze to the floor.
“stop making her uncomfortable and spin the bottle already” an annoyed voice emerges from the crowd and you snap your head to look at where it came from, to see a girl who glares at the people staring at you, they quickly look away at her words, reverting their attention back to the game, and when she catches your gaze, you send her a grateful look and she smiles back at you.
and you feel better.
then you’re reminded of the man beside you, who covers your legs once again with his hoodie and you feel your face heating up all over as you replay the events that happened a few minutes ago.
that was so intimate.
you pull at the hoodie resting on your lap, trying not to think of how much more gorgeous taehyung looked up close, losing all interest in the game still being played around you, you also feel slightly insulted that taehyung would do all that but not kiss you, you know that he wouldn’t kiss you but it was embarrassing to be so close and not do anything at all.
did you repel him that much?
“let’s get you another drink” taehyung mutters, getting up from his sitting position and dusting his jeans off.
“game’s not over” you point to the still spinning bottle in the middle and he shrugs.
“i don’t wanna play it anymore” you don’t either, so you leave the circle as well, more people replacing your seats as quick as lightning. taehyung hands you a drink once you get into the kitchen and no words are exchanged between you two as you stand against the counter, sipping your drink and him on the other end of the counter, not even drinking anything, just looking into empty space.
the silence is suffocating, it’s new for the two of you, especially new to you because taehyung never seems to shut up but he isn’t uttering a word.
“is that kim taehyung?” comes a loud, dare you say annoying voice with a chuckle from the entry of the kitchen, taehyung quickly stands upright and gives a bright smile.
“hey man, it’s been a while” they give each other a side hug as the guy lazily smiles at taehyung.
“last i saw you, was at the studio with min yoongi and someone else” the guy starts to think and taehyung visibly tenses up at the mention of a studio and your interest is peaked, because taehyung has never mentioned a studio to you.
“it was probably namjoon hyung” taehyung answers the guy and he nods in recognition.
“you guys are still doing that music shit? i thought you would give up after a week, my man” your mouth drops open at the rude tone of the guy, he’s clearly patronizing taehyung who freezes in his spot, his usual smile immediately dropping from his face and you are the only one in the room who notices how tight his fists are by his arms.
it’s also the first time you’ve seen taehyung without his usual grin. you don’t like it; you don’t like this guy either.
taehyung isn’t a confrontational person nor is he someone who gets into a fight easily, for as long as you have known him, before and after tutoring him, one thing you know for sure is that taehyung avoids fights, not because he will lose but because he would much rather just enjoy his time instead of wasting it on people who don’t deserve it.
“i mean, come on, what do you guys even know about music to do it? just finish your degree like the rest of us and get a proper job, music won’t keep you alive in the real world” the guy says it like he’s doing taehyung a favor, like his advice would save taehyung’s life and taehyung just stands stiff, clearly upset.
“taehyung, can we leave?” you interrupt the conversation and both heads turn to look at you, you don’t know anything about taehyung and his music but you don’t want him to deal with this guy anymore either. taehyung immediately nods at you, looking relieved.
“now, who is she?” the guys lifts his eyebrow at you with a smirk, raking his eyes over you shamelessly.
“you don’t need to know, you fucking prick” you dead pan at him, even surprising yourself with your harsh tone and taehyung snorts at the guys annoyed face, walking to you and guiding you out of there with a hand on your lower back. you snapped because not only has this night been overwhelming, you also just can’t stand people as ridiculous as him, how dare he say anything about taehyung at all.
taehyung would be the biggest liar if he said that he didn’t find that hot, he knows how much you would prefer being away from people and situations like that and he almost expected you to just stand and watch but the second you talked back to the guy for him, taehyung has had this overwhelming sense of ego take over him because you wouldn’t do that for anyone but you did it for him.
and as he keeps looking at you, taehyung realizes there’s a lot that you do for him, that you don’t do for anyone else, you snuck out of a class for him, he knows that rules are something you stick to but you let them go for him, you went to lunch with a practical stranger for him, something you would never do with another classmate, you came to this party for him and if it weren’t for how nervous you looked under that hoodie, taehyung would have kissed you, there’s nothing else he’s wanted to do more.
thinking about all of this means only one thing to him, taehyung likes you, more than a friend ever will, he doesn’t think he’s ever seen you as just a friend, not when your head lulled back and forth and fell on his shoulders the day he carried you to your apartment, taehyung doesn’t worry about a lot but he was worried about how sick you were and when he contemplated kissing you every single time you met up to study, taehyung knows he’s been a goner for you.
taehyung likes you, he wants to be with you and not have boundaries, he wants to see you let loose fully, he wants you to kiss him whenever you want to and his hand around your waist tightens at his realization.
after becoming aware of the hand on you which carefully weaves you through the crowd, you quickly move away from his touch, walking through the crowds by yourself, and taehyung follows you with an evident frown on his face.
he just thought you two are alright but he’s proven wrong with the distance that gets further between you two and he can’t help the disappointment flooding his chest. and again, guilt, the guilt that has stayed with him since you left him hanging at the door, why the guilt though? he doesn’t know.
you get into his car with a sigh, already relieved that this night will be over soon and you can just ignore everything from tomorrow and taehyung doesn’t drive away, sits there with his hands on his lap and a grim expression. you look at him for a few minutes, you have a million questions about what that guy said, about whether it was true that taehyung does music but you bitterly remember your place in his life, a tutor, which is why you don’t end up asking anything.
“taehyung, we need to go” you remind him and he nods slowly, lifting his head to grip the steering wheel tightly and sighs once again, letting it go.
“do you have to go home?” he turns to you with anxiousness on his face that you don’t recognize, he almost looks desperate? lost even, if you had to describe.
“where else will we go?”
“can i take you somewhere?”
“it’s my apartment, i have to show you something, i’ll drop you as soon as we’re done there, i promise” and when it looks like you’re going to refuse, taehyung immediately adds this part and you are even more confused.
if you’re just someone tutoring him, why does he want you to come to his apartment?
“fine” you mutter and fall back on the seat, annoyed at yourself for not being able to say no to him even now and shut your eyes before you think too much about it.
-
“come in” taehyung moves out of the way and you walk into his apartment, it was just big enough for one person, and covered in beige and shades of autumnal colors that give it a warm feel.
“your home is pretty” the compliment leaves your lips before you can stop it and taehyung gives you a softer smile than the one he usually has.
“thank you”
upon further walking in, you see a messy living room with papers thrown around, a desk covered in similar papers and a computer with a music system sitting right in front of it.
bingo.
the obnoxious guy at the party definitely wasn’t lying about the music part.
when you turn around to see taehyung, he looks so much smaller than he normally does, he looks nervous, he’s fidgeting and playing with his fingers and it takes you completely off guard. you’ve never seen him like this.
“what did you want to show me?” you ask, not going any further into the apartment and standing with your arms crossed. he doesn’t utter a word as he walks over to you, pulls your folded arms apart and holds your hand which confuses you and fills you with warmth at the same time.
you can only stare at your intertwined hands as he pulls you forward.
what is happening?
you are only brought back to reality when he places you on the chair in front of the computer and you look back at him with a frown.
“it’s true, what the guy at the party said, i do make music and i didn’t want you to think that i don’t plan on telling you” he mutters from behind you with fiddling fingers and it feels satisfying that you are not the nervous one this time.
so, taehyung does do music and you are impressed, very impressed because you feel like it’s a very emotionally taxing process and takes a lot of bravery to actually spill your feelings into ink, you could never do it which is why it’s a hundred times more admirable to you.
“so, i wanted to play you one of my songs?” he says it in a question and you stay quiet, both grateful that he’s showing you his work and even more confused because again, he called you his tutor not even two hours ago, you don’t understand why he’s showing you all this.
“why are you showing me?” the question tumbles out of your mouth in a disappointed sigh.
“because i trust you” he answers simply, ignoring your widened eyes and looking through his computer, all while leaned over your shoulder, and no matter how many times this has happened, his body brushing against yours leaves you breathless.
he purses his lips as he presses play and you instinctively lean towards the computer as a soft song starts thrumming through the room.
“on my pillow can’t get me tired sharing my fragile truth that i still hope the door is open
‘cause the window opened one time with you and me now my forever’s falling down wondering if you’d want me now?
how could i know? one day i’d wake up feeling more but I had already reached the shore guess we were ships in the night night, night
we were ships in the night night, night.”
your mouth stays agape as you listen to taehyung’s voice, which is steady and deep and pushes all the way to your heart, and the song just feels so warm, like the beautiful end to a bright summer, there’s sadness but desperation more clearly written in the lyrics and you can’t believe that you’re sitting in front of the man who’s singing it.
“did you write this?” you ask quietly as the song continues to play and you see a nod from the corner of your eye and your admiration for taehyung grows ten-fold, as you listen to his voice in complete awe, if his voice is deep usually, it’s a lot deeper and more soulful when he’s singing. and whoever he’s singing this song for, you are jealous of them, you don’t know them but you’re jealous of them.
“do you like it?” he pauses the player before another song starts and how do you tell him that you might just be in love with him and everything about him?
“it was beautiful” you compliment, albeit a little bitter that it isn’t about you and taehyung looks a mixture of pleased and relieved at your words.
“who is it for?” you can’t help but ask him as you stay seated.
“no one, it’s just a story i’ve had on my mind” you sense only honesty in his words and it further impresses you that he can weave a story and put life and love into it.
“of two people in love?”
“of two people falling in love.” he corrects you and it dawns on you that a story of two people already in love would be a lot different than two people discovering and falling slowly but surely.
“did you have fun making the story?” now that you know about his music, you are only curious to know more about it and taehyung is more than happy to indulge you.
“it’s…different, making a story of two people, no one that you know, but giving them emotions, giving their emotions a journey and putting it into words in a proper way, it’s hard but i enjoy nothing else more.” you only listen to how taehyung describes songwriting because you still are in awe at how much passion he holds when he’s talking about music.
one out of many things that you loved about taehyung was that you could never just expect something to happen with him, he really played his own drum and did whatever he wanted to do, consequences are an afterthought to him, and it’s refreshing, it’s also so rare which is why you truly think he’s one of the most precious kind of people. like who would have known that the party would end this way?
“that’s very cool of you” you smile at him and he grins back, moving away from you to take his stuffy jacket off and you already miss being encompassed in his warmth. you get up from your seat, thinking that you will have to leave soon now that you have heard the song.
“should we go now?” you ask him, not actually wanting to leave but knowing you can’t stay either.
“there’s one thing left to do” he says with pursed lips, coming back to where you’re stood and you frown at him.
“what is it?” you question as he starts walking to you with determination in every step, taehyung doesn’t want to lose his courage before he reaches you.
“what?” you ask again, a little breathlessly this time, your breath getting uneven and the butterflies singing in every end of your nerves when he stands right in front of you, looking down on you while biting his lip slightly.
and his hand comes up to take your glasses off, you feel completely bare as he carelessly throws them to the side and then curls his fingers around your cheek. while smiling, he doesn’t give you an answer, just closes the distance between you two with a single, large step and pulls you to him with his hand firm on your waist.
“i hope you don’t mind” is his cheeky comment as he caresses your cheek once before he does what he couldn’t do at the party.
everything falls into place perfectly to you; your hands grip his thin t-shirt to stabilize yourself and his hands grab onto your skin like he will go insane if he doesn’t feel you. you are hot all over, your body shaking a little with the overflowing love and affection you throw into each pull of his lips. you gasp for breath once he lets you go a little, gazing into your eyes and you return a dazed look of your own, but you aren’t given a break when he pulls you back in again, chasing after you like you will run away if he lets you go for too long.
but taehyung doesn’t have to worry, you aren’t going anywhere.
and frankly, you don’t mind this at all.
-
the rest of the night is just taehyung playing you more songs and a lot of kissing, neither of you confessing but kissing each other like your life depended on it and if taehyung doesn’t like you the way you do, you don’t think you will ever be able to move on from his addicting scent and touch.
you toss and turn on taehyung’s bed, you ended up staying after he insisted in between kisses and you were too weak and lost in the moment to refuse, he ended up sleeping on the couch and that gave you plenty of time to think about last night. you got up way too early and after freshening up, you just couldn’t face him, you didn’t know how to so you stayed in his room.
what did it even mean to him?
was it just one of those kisses you blame on too much alcohol?
you groan and stuff your face into a pillow as you resist the urge to scream, if you were confused before, you simply don’t have a clue anymore, the line between friendship and relationship between you and him was so blurred, you don’t even know if it existed anymore.
and if he was going to kiss you, why make you feel so insignificant at the beginning?
“you really shouldn’t think so much this early into the day” you jump when you hear taehyung’s amused voice at the door, he looks just as gorgeous as always even in the morning.
“i blame you for it” you retort as you sit up, he falls on his bed while stretching, letting out a loud yawn and you smile at him, you like waking up to him.
“i told you i will take the couch” you tell him with slight guilt as he continues to stretch his sore body.
“that’s fine, next time we’ll just sleep together” he looks up at you with a smirk and you turn stark red at the suggestive tone, reaching for the pillow behind you and throwing it on his face, letting out a loud laugh when he lets out a yelp of pain.
“speaking of that” you purse your lips as he stops stretching and looks at you with his usual bright smile which flutters your heart just like the first time.
“what are we?” you ask him, gesturing between you two, the question lays heavily in the a
when you first met taehyung, you didn’t imagine how far you guys would come along, sure you liked him from how your friends described him and how he presented himself to the masses, but to come to a point where a day wouldn’t go by without you missing him even as he sat beside you, was beyond you.
you almost felt ridiculous for cuddling up even more to him just at the thought of him being gone for work the next day making him chuckle and gently pat your head. the tv played some old 80’s movie that taehyung loved and served as ambient music which was both romantic and full of yearning. just like the two of you sat in front of it.
“what’s got you like this?” he gestured to your arms that looked close to suffocating his torso but you didn’t weaken your grip, only burying your head in his chest even more.
“you’ll be gone all day tomorrow” you softly whined, your voice coming out muffled and just clear enough for taehyung to hear and he let out a sigh at your words. it was going to be so hard to go to work tomorrow, how could he possibly say goodbye to you for a whole 24 hours after you do and say the things you do?
“i promise i’ll make it up to you, we can go to dinner at that diner you like this weekend” taehyung offered, hoping that would lift your spirit up a little and you nodded happily, any time with him was perfect for you.
“deal” you whispered and before taehyung could ask you about which movie you wanted to start next, he heard your slow, even breaths fill the silence and he simply let a fond smile grace his face, as he shut the tv off and devoted his entire attention to watch you sleep. not in a creepy way, in more of a ‘you’re so fucking cute, i would die for you’ way.
and it was in that moment, your arms never losing their tight grip on him, your nose twitching ever so often in your sleep and your legs wrapped around his, taehyung decided that he was helplessly in love with you and that conclusion only solidified for him when he reached to kiss your forehead, he still felt his body erupt in tingles, these tingles that he gets whenever he’s with you haven’t died since the day, he’s met you.
taehyung was in love. and he wanted to shout it from any building in the world.
-
you kicked the blanket around your feet as you tossed and turned to avoid the sunlight burning your eyes awake, and with one final groan, you pushed yourself up to lay on your elbows as you cursed everything about the day when its barely begun. you saw taehyung’s side of the bed empty and sighed, you remembered how warm he felt last night, and how his voice put you right to sleep, your cheeks warmed as your mind travelled to how he promised you his weekend just so you wouldn’t be sad and your heart did a good old flip as you continued to think about him.
you heard yeontan yapping at your feet, waiting for you to give him all your attention and love, you gave the cheery dog a soft smile before scooping him up in your arms and letting him lick all over your face while you giggled and tilted your head away from his sloppy kisses, once he finally calmed down, you just buried your face into his fur and realized yeontan only reminded you more about taehyung.
this was going to be a long day without him.
you could feel your stomach drop a little at the sad realization and you deemed it so unfair that you couldn’t spend every minute of your life with hi-
wait a minute.
it hasn’t even been 8 hours since you last saw him so why were you acting like his funeral was tomorrow? why did you miss him so much when you were literally in his arms not too long ago?
your head snapped up as you caught yourself thinking that as your legs flung over the side of the bed, your eyes widened at your own thoughts. any and all romance draining out of your body, as familiar dread and paranoia took its place.
where was all this coming from?
the last time you felt like this, was in grade school, when you still wore a little skirt and tie, and sat at the bleachers as you watched your then-boyfriend with flushed cheeks and giddy eyes, play basketball, he would always take the ball, give you a cocky smirk and say, ‘this one’s for you’, only for the ball to always fall to the side instead of into the hoop. you would just give him an awkward smile and slow applause, maybe you should’ve taken that missed shot as a sign that your relationship would end in disaster.
because all the while you adored and gave him heart eyes, he would smile right at your face, only to send a wink and smirk to someone else over your shoulder.
and now, after all these years, you gave those same lovesick eyes to taehyung. and you could feel your palms getting sweaty just at the thought of your relationship ending the same way.
of course, you knew better, you’ve come a long way since school, done a lot of growing up, and now, you were confident in yourself and you were almost completely sure that taehyung never did that. almost.
but how much did you see? maybe you missed it at some point. you let out a loud groan and fell back on the bed with hair everywhere on your face.
fuck, you were royally screwed.
it wasn’t even noon and your mind was hell bent to make this your worst day.
how could you think of taehyung like this? sweet, kind taehyung, who’s giving you his weekend, taehyung who always kisses you on the forehead at night when he thinks you’re sleeping, taehyung who defended mint chocolate with an adorable pout on his face, taehyung who cooed and played with every baby he saw, taehyung who knew everything about you, the good and the ugly, and still stayed, and most importantly, taehyung who loved you.
he loved you, it was no secret. boy was as whipped as they come, and anyone with two eyes could see it and he didn’t have to say it to you for you to know, you just knew that he loved you, he trusted you enough to introduce you to his dog and that was a very big deal to him (you quote, ‘it’s like you’re meeting my parents’).
and that scared you, because holy shit, this man is ready to give you the world but would you ever be able to carry everything he gives you? were you ready to admit to yourself that you would give him twice the world he gives you because that’s how precious he is to you?
you aren’t ready.
and you don’t think you ever will be.
maybe you should’ve gone to therapy for your commitment and trust issues when you were still in university because you definitely regretted flipping the finger to your kind on-campus counsellor now (she was actually very condescending and forced you to talk about your problems instead of easing into it like a good counsellor would so fuck her but you were still on that train of hating yourself, weren’t you?). it was almost like you never thought your issues would come back to bite you in the ass.
whatever, you can push this under the rug like you always have. it should be fine, it’s the way you have always dealt with, push it under the rug or run away from it.
and you know how ridiculous your thoughts are right now, you couldn’t possibly run away from taehyung, because here you were, all dressed up in a baby blue dress with your hands occupied in three large bags of takeout food for the hardworking boys in the practice room in front of you. and yes, you also know how pathetic it is to be so scared of being in love with this man and then coming right back to him because what if he missed his lunch? (you just wanted to see his face and no, you couldn’t go an entire day without him).
you sheepishly poked your head in and saw all of them scattered around the room, their heads snapping towards the now open door and you quickly looked for your man in the crowd, only to find him already looking at you with surprise evident in his eyes and a confused but lovely broad grin on his face as he happily skipped to you, pulling you in and closing the door behind you, almost immediately enveloping you in a warm hug.
“what are you doing here?” he happily sighed into the crook of your neck, and you could feel your heart stutter a little at the clear joy in his tone. you pulled away from him to lift the bags in your hands up.
“thought that you could use some food” you tilted your head to look at everyone else, giving them a shy smile and bow, taehyung looking at you with those eyes that he seemed to always look at you these days.
those lovesick eyes.
“fuck i love you” he chuckled slightly, grabbing the bags from your hands and walking away to set them on a table, not noticing how wide your eyes have gotten or the panic in your face as he said it.
he finally said the words you’ve been both dreading and longing to hear, and in such a casual way, you knew he just said it in a playful way for all the food you brought in but that didn’t mean your heart didn’t drop to your ass when you heard them. you snapped out of your trance when your ears caught them call you in a chorus, ushering you over to them.
“everything okay?” he whispered just low enough for you to hear, making sure that it didn’t catch anyone else’s attention. and as much as you wanted to fall on him and tell him everything your mind was putting you through, you gave him a tight smile and nodded your head.
you quietly walked up to them and only spoke when you were spoken to, a little too lost in yourself, looking to the side when taehyung nudged your elbow a little. you were never this silent, you were always bubbling with things to say or you made some dry jokes about your own suffering that had the whole room laughing, but right now, you just weren’t you. and that worried him.
“of course, i am always okay” you let out a nervous chuckle slip past your lips as you said it, cursing yourself for the slight break in your tone.
you weren’t okay.
you weren’t okay at all.
and taehyung knew that.
you could tell he wasn’t convinced at all with your answer so you just sighed and decided to come clean.
“we will talk about this later, okay? it isn’t anything bad, but it isn’t necessarily good either” you rambled silently, and taehyung, though unconvinced and worried sick now, nodded in agreement, giving you a side hug and kiss to your temple making your heart wrench in place even more.
“you know i love you, right? and that you can tell me anything?” you knew.
that was the problem.
you fucking knew he loved you and you didn’t know how to handle that.
but until your inevitable discussion later, you just leaned in for a kiss on his cheek making his cheeks flush and hurt a little at the almost immediate smile that grew on his face.
“aw look at them being all cute” jimin cooed from where he stood, clearly not having noticed the prior tense environment around the two of you.
“i’m telling you, it’s the honeymoon phase. they’ll be at each other’s throats soon” jungkook snickered harmlessly, as the others argued that you both have been in this honeymoon phase since forever now and it didn’t seem to go away anytime soon. and you turned red as they all continued to tease the two of you, making lighthearted jokes at how whipped you were and you didn’t have it in you to laugh like you usually would.
with jungkook and everyone else around you, people who you have become so comfortable with, it was all too overwhelming, you fit in so well, almost too well and that was one more thing for you to worry about.
when did you start feeling so at home with all of these people?
and why did spending lunch with them feel so normal all of a sudden?
you usually had lunch at your workplace with your friends, and you wouldn’t say you enjoyed it very much, because most of the time, you all were too exhausted to hold fun conversations, so it was all a very monotonous routine. but now, with taehyung and rest of them, you could feel bubbling energy every second you spent with them and it just felt so perfect.
but did it feel that way for them? or were you just intruding on their normal routine?
after a silent excuse to leave to work early and way too quick of a goodbye, you left with an even heavier mind than the one you spent all morning with. and even if you thought you were being subtle, your sour mood caught the attention of everyone in the room who were more concerned than you thought they would be.
“are you ready to tell me what’s going on with you?” taehyung walked in your apartment to see you slumped on the sofa, eyes teary with your focus on the tv which played somber ending music to a show (you weren’t crying because of the show, you were crying because oh my fucking god did you hate being you at that very moment, you were wallowing in self pity and with thoughts that you’ll die alone and loveless with around 20 cats, you even placed an order for catnip and bed impulsively for a cat you didn’t even own). you were doing great, clearly.
you couldn’t delay this conversation anymore without hurting either of you two even more.
“huh?” you sniffed, turning to see him pulling his coat off while keeping his narrowed and concerned eyes on you, you have never heard that tone on taehyung or seen him so agitated in a while.
at least both of them were never directed at you.
he dropped down next to you on the sofa, pulling the large bag of chips from your arms and setting it aside before looking right at you, refusing to break eye contact, leaving you to be the one to break it off with a sigh.
“i’m going to need you to listen to me without saying anything for the next 10 minutes because this is really hard for me to talk about, and i am not even sure what my actual problem is, i just don’t feel okay and i think i’m going to explode any second” you rambled, clearing your throat awkwardly at the end and crossing your arms across your chest like you were trying to protect yourself from your own words.
taehyung had never you seen this vulnerable, with your red-rimmed eyes, quivering lips and a loose sweater hanging off your shoulders, refusing to look at him, instead focusing on the socks adorning his feet and voice coming out in quiet gasps and whispers that he could barely hear.
you looked so fragile, so close to breaking to him. and that broke him too.
“whatever it is, we will figure it out together” he softly let out, forcing your arms out of the hold it had over your chest and tenderly grasping onto your hands, it made you feel exposed, even more vulnerable than you already were.
“i told you to be quiet” you choked out in a groan, tears pricking your eyes and he immediately cooed, rubbing the back of your hands and assuring that you now have the complete room to yourself.
“you know how things are going so well for us? like we spend at least 5 days in a week together and we’ve introduced each other to our friends and we’ve spoken briefly to each other’s parents too?”
“yeah, we’re obsessed with each other god.”
“taehyung?”
“yeah?”
“shut up.”
“okay” he chuckled and gestured for you to continue, making you smile a little too.
“i just feel like everything is going so well, and i feel so happy, so comfortable, i feel like i’m at a place in my life that i’ve been running towards my whole life but now that i’m actually here, i feel…scared?” taehyung raised an eyebrow at the end of your sentence, but not questioning anything because you continued your worried rant.
“it’s like, everything about you and your life has fit in so perfectly with mine, even with your busy schedule and my pain-in-the-ass work hours, we somehow make it work but i’m scared that it will all just go away at some point and i’ll be back at square one. i’ve never felt like this before, i love you, a lot and i love everything about us, i’m so happy with how we are, i just need reassurance that we will stay like this for as long as we can be, that’s all” you let out a deep breathe you didn’t know you were holding and looked at him nervously, chewing your bottom lip and you were sure that you bit it too hard. your heart pounded so hard, it felt like it was going to escape the cage of your chest.
“first off, stop biting your lip like that, you’re going to split it open and second, i love you too and third, is that it? you’re scared that we won’t last?” taehyung looked at you in disbelief that you would even think that you could get rid of him as his hands tightened around your own.
“and that you will leave me for someone else” you sighed out, figuring that it was best to just lay it all out there while you’re at it. taehyung just looked down and shook his head, as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
“you really don’t have a clue of how in love i am with you, do you?” you slowly shook your head at his rhetorical question.
“well, i guess i have to remind you. you have nothing to worry about when it comes to us, okay? whatever we are, and whatever we will become, i promise to try my best to always make it work for us, because just like you said, i love us and i love you. and if you don’t know what to do, we can figure it out together, i haven’t been in many relationships either, at least not meaningful ones so i have no clue but together, we can do anything, yeah?” he waited for your nod which came shortly after his words, you didn’t even realize you were crying until taehyung reached up to rub your tears away gently with his thumb, all while holding a soft smile to you.
“i love you, okay? and i am not going anywhere, i don’t want to be anywhere else so next time you feel like this, don’t suffer alone, come to me and we can either cry together or i can kiss your tears away, whichever works for you, though i would prefer the k-“ he was cut short when you literally threw your body on top of his, he immediately broke into a small giggle, reaching to wrap his arms around you too.
“i think you liked the kisses idea” he lightly teased making you laugh and mumble a low ‘shut up’ into his hoodie.
“do you promise? that we’ll try till we can’t?” you leaned back with glassy eyes and he smiled, nodding his answer.
“i promise, now you shut up and come back here” he pulled you back so that you would fall with your head nestled into his neck again.
“oh, one thing” he spoke up again and you let him continue.
“can you bring us lunch more often? because they all seem to love you more than they love me” he pouted a little, recounting how everyone rushed to ask him if everything was okay with you after practice was over and you smiled a little, feeling a little stupid for worrying so much about intruding on them.
“of course, as long as i get to see you” you jokingly blew him a kiss to which he reacted with an equally dramatic reaction, clutching his chest and scrunching his eyes shut, acting like he got shot and falling off the couch, the silence being filled with your loud laughs.
and that is how you end all your nights with him, filled with joy, and filled to the brim, with love.
turns out you didn’t need therapy after all.
but what were you going to do with all that catnip now?
Word Count: 5,885 // angst (toxic relationship, friends to lovers, yandere behavior, possessiveness, jealousy, mention of physical harm, mention of neglect), smut (rough sex/slight dub-con, fingering, omorashi, asphyxiation, forced creampie), no fluff
Childhood friend!Taehyung X Childhood friend!Reader
Summary: You and Taehyung were inseparable once. When you come back to your hometown after three years, fate pulls you back to him. And this time, Taehyung won’t ever keep his eyes off of you.
prompt : ( Taehyung x Reader ) You get lost while exploring the woods with a couple friends, this unknowingly leads to you going back in time and meeting the love of your life. The only problem is that, of course, you can’t stay.
genre : romance , angst , time travel au
word count : 5k
muse insp : Christina Perri - A Thousand Years ( spotify,youtube)
note : if you’ve seen this story before, it’s because it was on my previous blog, jungtookthejams. i’ve moved it to this one because i worked so hard on it.
disclaimer : i did my research for this fic, some of the information is true while some of it is made up for the sake of the plot.
—
It was a normal day for you, at first. You woke up in your queen sized bed, rolled around in the soft sheets and comfortable blankets for about an hour, then finally decided to get up and make some breakfast. You ate by yourself, then sat on your couch and watched some Korean dramas.
Just a normal Saturday.
Your friend, Mina, texted you, asking if you wanted to come with her and her boyfriend into the woods for a night. Her boyfriend was into supernatural stuff and the like, so this didn’t surprise you.
Y/N:yeah, whatever. As long as i don’t third wheel the whole damn time
Minass:lmao ok, meet us at the 7/11 at 7pm. We might stay the night
Y/N:wtaf
Minass:u’ll see! It’ll be fun!
Y/N:leave me be, peasant. I’ll be there
Minass::D
She was really too much sometimes, but you loved her nonetheless. And so, you began to gather some belongings into a small bag to take with you. Your phone, its charger, a few articles of clothing, and your water bottle. With that, you sat back down and waited until it was time for you to get dressed and leave.
* * *
Mina was waving at you from her boyfriend’s car in the parking lot when you arrived. You couldn’t help but chuckle as you walked over to the black vehicle, welcoming yourself to sit in the back seat.
“Hey, Y/N,” The boy in the driver’s seat greeted you, flashing you a small grin in the mirror.
“Hi, Kennah,” You smiled back at him as you fasten your seat belt, getting comfy in the leather seats, “Thanks for letting me come.”
“No problem,” He responded as he began to drive down the road.
“Y/N,” Mina giggled, “How are you?”
“I’m okay,” You murmured, “Glad to have all my projects and essays done for midterms.”
“Ugh,” You friend groaned, “I still have to finish my essay on the Goryeo Dynasty. Can you go over it with me? You’re a history nerd!”
You sighed, “All right, I’ll quiz you on what I know off the top of my head. First of all, what year was the kingdom of Goryeo established?”
“Um,” Mina mumbled, “908 CE?”
Shaking your head, you sighed, “No, no, it was 918 CE. Who established it and was the first king?”
“Oh!” Mina smiled, “I know this one! It’s-”
“Taejo,” Kennah cut her off, smirking, “King Taejo.”
Mina pouted and stuck her tongue out at her boyfriend, making you chuckle, “Correct. Now, Mina, who were Taejo’s three sons?”
“Okay, um, Namjoon, Taehyung, and.. Seokjin?” The girl stuttered, seeming unsure of her answer.
“Yes!” You grinned at her, “Which one of the three was the crown prince, and later went on to become one of the greatest rulers in Korean history?” You smirked internally; it was a trick question.
“The crown prince was Kim Seokjin,” Mina explained, “However, he never became king because he was assassinated before he could, he was age twenty-five at the time. Instead, Kim Namjoon, the second oldest, went on to become king when he was twenty-nine, and he went on to become one of the greatest rulers in Korean history.”
You clapped excitedly as Kennah went to hold Mina’s hand while smiling at her.
“Well done!” You exclaimed happily, “Now what happened to the youngest, Taehyung?”
“Kim Taehyung was more interested in writing and art than politics. The books Professor Choi made me study actually said that he resented being a prince! So he preferred to stay low and work on his art. He was happy, at least, to not be the crown prince. He became a famous artist later in time, but during his own time, he was more of a loner. He still got married, an arranged marriage, but it was said that he wasn’t happy with the marriage and didn’t have kids at all. His art and literature became famous much after his passing.”
“Yes!” You giggled, giving her a high-five, “Who’s the nerd, now?”
“Still you,” She stuck her tongue out at you.
* * *
“All right,” Kennah chuckled, pulling into a section of dirt beside the forest, “We’re here.”
“Wonderful,” You mumbled, “We’ve been in that car forever. Where even are we?”
“Sorta near the border,” Mina responded, getting out of the car with you and Kennah following her, “The Manwoldae Palace, or what’s left of it, isn’t that far from here. Cool, right?”
“What,” You laughed, leaning against the car, “You think the ghosts of the royal family are here?”
“Maybe,” Kennah grinned, looking into the dark forest in front of you all, “Come on, let’s go.
“I regret this already,” You sighed, following the couple into the darkness. But within minutes of stepping foot in the woods, you lost sight of them.
“Hey, guys?” You called out, “Can you come back here? Mina, can I grab your sleeve? I can’t see shit.”
You, however, got no response.
“Guys?” You called out again, gripping your bag in a slight panic, “This isn’t funny!”
Absolute silence greeted you. Beginning to freak out, you pulled out your phone, only to realize that you had no signal. Groaning, you covered your eyes with your hand and sighed.
“Okay,” You mumbled, “If I just turn and go back the other way, I’ll get to the car and I can wait for them there.”
So, you set off the way you came, using your fully-charged phone (you’d kept it on the charger in the car) as a flashlight to guide your way out of the condensed, dark forest. Swiping branches out of your way, plants nipping your legs bare legs (you only wore a plain black shirt and combat shorts with a pair of boots), and getting smacked in the face by several leaves, you attempted to navigate yourself back to the car. After minutes of walking, you became uneasy as the trees seemed to become endless. Shouldn’t you be back at the car by now?
Suddenly, a thick fog rolled into your vision, making it even harder to see. Was it even supposed to be foggy tonight? Hell if you knew.
Squinting your eyes as an attempt to see through the mist, you staggered forward, when your foot caught on something and you were sent tumbling down onto the hard ground. Groaning in pain, you lifted your head and used your hand to blindly search for your phone. The second your fingertips touched the cool plastic of your mint coloured phone case, you took hold of it and used a nearby tree truck to pull yourself up and balance yourself on.
Huffing, you turned your focus back ahead of you and continued trekking, the light from the flashlight on your phone illuminating your path. Or, the fog in your path. The light was useless now, but better than walking in the pitch black dark. You continued to walk, silently cursing Mina for dragging you into this mess until something odd came into your scrutiny.
Was that a.. palace? An ancient Korean style palace?
There was no way, the remains of the ancient Goryeo palace may have been near where you and your friends decided to explore, but no one has built a recreation of the palace, especially not near the original location.
Deciding to shrug it off – who cared? Where there’s any type of palace, there are probably people who can get you out of here – you continued walking through the woods to get to the large structure. Around it were torches; real, on-fire torches. You had to give it to the reenactors, they went all out to make sure it was olden-like.
You turned off your phone’s light and stuck it back in your bag as you approached, there were two men dressed as ancient guards standing in front of the palace gates. One saw you walking towards them and seemed to do a double take before pointing the tip of his spear at your throat as you were about to speak, blood almost trickling down your throat.
The other guard glared harshly at your pathetic figure, “Halt. State your name and business, why are you at the Manwoldae Palace at this ungodly hour?”
Eyes slightly wide, you took in their appearance and words. The Manwoldae Palace was destroyed sometime in the fourteenth century, it was burned to the ground and there was no recreation of it as far as you knew. What were these men talking about?
You gulped, “Um, my friends and I were going to explore the woods a little, but I ended up getting lost. Our car shouldn’t be far from here-”
“What is this ‘car’ you speak of, outsider? Why are you at the palace gates? Do you wish to do harm to the royal family of Goryeo?” The guard with the spear to your throat pressed, shoving the sharp tip further into your skin.
“N- No!” You squeaked, “I- I am simply lost.”
“Lost?” The other guard narrowed his eyes, “Where are you from?”
“Seoul,” You said in response, “I came from Seoul.”
“There is no such place!” The first guard hissed, “I shall kill you.”
“P- Please,” You stuttered in fear, your eyes wide, “Please don’t hurt me!”
Before anything else could happen, a smooth, deep voice punctured the air, “That’s enough, men. I shall deal with the girl.”
You looked behind the guard to see a tall man, his attire obviously royal-like. He looked down at you with a soft smile.
“Yes, your Majesty,” Both guards responded, going back to their original posts. The princely figure made his way in front of you and gently took your hand, pressing a kiss to it, “Good evening, my lady. I am Prince Namjoon of the Goryeo region, under King Taejo’s rule.”
You blinked, your mind hazy. He looked exactly like the artwork done of Prince Namjoon. Was this some type of fucked up dream? Did you pass out in the forest?
He let go of your hand and slid it up to your shoulder, gently guiding you in front of him into the palace. You decided to play along, still not sure what was going on.
“I am L/N Y/N, your Majesty. I am sorry for intruding on your palace so late at night-”
“No worries, Ms Y/N. You are lost, yes? We will make sure you get home safely. Where are you from?” He coolly responded, smiling as you looked in awe around the palace.
Holy hell, you thought, the detail! They got every little intricate detail down about the palace’s structure and decor.
The gold, the candles and torches, the velvet carpets; they had it all.
“Seoul,” You mumbled, still dazed.
“Seoul? I have never heard of such a place.”
Whipping your head to look at him, your eyebrows furrowed, “It’s the capital city of South Korea.”
“South Korea? Where is that, exactly?” He seemed genuinely confused, his expression similar to yours.
“Here!” You had the urge to yell, however you swallowed that urge and licked your lips nervously, “It is far from here. I wish to not go back, I fled to escape my cruel family. If you allow me temporary hospitality, I will repay you with whatever I can get my hands on upon leaving to support myself on my own.”
“I see,” The prince nodded, seemingly deep in thought, “I will let my family know of your presence. For now, I shall lead you to a room to stay and.. Change,” He glanced down at your outfit, making you bite your tongue from shooting a snarky remark in response, instead looking down with an embarrassed blush on your face with a nod.
* * *
You sat on the large, plush bed and stared at your hands. What was happening? Were you really in the tenth century?
Were you ever going to see your friends and family again?
You sighed and slid your hands down your face, biting your lip. This was all too much to take in. Maybe if you sleep, you’ll wake up tomorrow in the woods. Or better, in the car.
Looking over at the nightgown on the dresser, you nodded, making a mental decision, and stood up to slip into it.
* * *
You never did get any sleep that night.
Now, it was a week later, and you sat in the private garden with the youngest prince, Taehyung, listening as he rambled about brush strokes.
“For outlines of things or thicker areas of colour, you use thicker, more bold strokes. Then, for detail, you use a smaller, thinner brush for lines of the same..”
You never thought the loneliest prince was so outgoing and a conversationalist. He was so fun to be around, by far your favourite of the three, and he was bubbly and cute. He didn’t seem like the type to be a prince, nevermind the prince of Goryeo!
Of all your studies of Goryeo, you never imagined it would be this beautiful and wonderful. The doctrines, recreations, and artwork really did the era no justice.
“Y/N? Are you even listening to me?”
You jumped out of your thoughts to turn your head to Taehyung with a sheepish smile, “No, I’m sorry.”
He sighed and chuckled at you, “Always in your own little world. I’m glad my father allowed you to stay with us. You’re different from other women.”
“Oh?” You mumbled, looking down a bit. He hummed and nodded, “Yeah. You’re more straight-forward and easier to talk to. It’s like you don’t care about gender, that just because I’m a man doesn’t mean we can’t sit and have a conversation. Especially despite my status.”
You bit your tongue from making a remark about how people are equal despite gender and that everyone’s human, that no one shouldn’t be able to not have a conversation with someone else because of their gender or status-
“I like having you around.”
Your head snapped up to look at the prince, who was grinning down at you, “You’re not uptight like my brothers or any others from my family. I feel like I actually have a friend.”
You gave him a soft smile and gently set your hand on his arm, “I’m so glad you think so. I think of you as a friend as well, I’m grateful to have you during this hectic time in my life,” You sighed.
The young man hummed, “What is your story? Namjoon didn’t tell me much.”
Sliding your small hand down his arm to set it back down on the stone bench the two of you were seated on, you sighed. Of course, you couldn’t tell him the truth – or could you?
No, not now. Maybe later on, if you stay long enough. Then again, it’s not like you knew anything about time travel to leave anytime soon anyway.
“I am the daughter of a nobleman. He had lots of riches, but he was cruel. Behind closed doors, he beat my mother and I. So, I took my mother and we ran. My mother died during our journey, but I didn’t stop. I stumbled upon your palace and a guard almost killed me, but Prince Namjoon came along and took me in before I could be killed.”
Taeyhung’s eyes were slightly wide, “I see. How awful… I’m sorry that happened to you.”
You gave him a pained smile, “No worries. What happened, happened; it cannot be undone.”
“That is true. Let’s change the subject, yeah? I’m of my twenty-first year, and you?”
It took you a second to realize that he was asking for your age. But once knowing that he was twenty-one, you also immediately calculated the year you were currently stuck in.
Taejo was born in 877, and founded Goryeo in 918, making him thirty-one years of age when he did so. He had his first son, Seokjin, when he was twenty-eight, and Namjoon when he was thirty. Then he had his youngest, Taehyung, when he was thirty-one. That meant that the current year was 939 CE. You bit your lip upon remembering that Taejo of Goryeo died in 943 at age sixty-six, and Kim Seokjin died in 940 at age twenty-five.
All the more reason not to get attached to anyone of the royal family, or anyone of this time. You were going to have to go home eventually.
“I am of my twentieth year,” You murmured.
* * *
You’ve been in Goryeo for a month now. You smoothed out your dress as you greeted Prince Taehyung at a bridge near the palace.
The youngest prince and yourself had grown very close in your time here. You didn’t like to think about it. Especially now that you were catching feelings for him.
“Y/N!” He called, a large smile on his face as he gently set his hands on your arms, “How are you? I just finished an inscription I’d love for you to read over for me!”
Taeyhung wanted to be an artist and a scribe. You saw that the doctrines and biographies of the prince that you’d read did not lie – this was truly his passion.
“I am well, Taehyung, and I’d love to read over your writing. I’m sure it’s just as amazing and beautiful as the last one I read.”
“You flatter me,” He giggled, taking your hand, “Come, I wish to show you something!”
You laughed as he tugged you along, blushing lightly from the contact.
He lead you to the stables, where he let go of your hand and held the reins of a horse instead. The majestic creature had been saddled and ready to go – he must’ve prepared this.
He grinned at you and you gave him a nervous smile in return. Namjoon had attempted to take you on a horse ride a couple weeks ago, and it did not end well. You had to scrub mud out of your hair for fifteen minutes straight.
Taehyung took you by your waist and lugged you on the horse, making you squeak and hold onto the saddle for dear life. He laughed at your uneasiness and hopped on behind you, taking the reins in his hands and gently willing the horse to begin walking forward.
“You’re cute,” The prince muttered, looking down to give you a cheeky smile.
You blushed lightly and puffed your cheeks, “Did Namjoon tell you what happened last time I was on a horse?”
“Yes,” He answered coolly, “And Namjoon can’t ride a horse to save his life. He’s very clumsy, the last person I’d trust to take me horse riding. Relax, I’ve got you.”
You sighed and nodded, leaning back into Taehyung’s chest and watching the scenery as the two of you rode down a path. The silence was not awkward, but comfortable. You felt the young man set his chin atop your head at a point in the ride, and smiled to yourself.
You were enjoying this too much.
Your smile turned bitter.
* * *
Three weeks later, you found yourself in the royal library, looking in the ancient books for anything that could help you get home.
You were starting to fall in love with this place, and you couldn’t allow yourself to do that. You had a family back home, and it would be wrong to leave them. It would be even more wrong to possibly alter history further than you already have.
Your biggest problem, one that you had to face, was that you’d fallen in love with Prince Taehyung.
While flipping through the pages of the olden literature, you found an old legend; a natural phenomenon that seemed to cause something not-so-natural.
It was said that the sun became too powerful for eyes to bear, causing anyone who looked right at it to go blind or have severe sight problems. It happened once in a blue moon, and once, during this strange occurrence, a woman dissipated into thin air while standing on a bridge. The very bridge you met the prince on a few weeks ago.
It didn’t take you long to figure out what this was; a solar eclipse. A partial solar eclipse.
Instead of the area getting dimmer, which it does in the slightest, the sun seems to become more powerful as staring into it can burn your retina and/or your cornea.
If you remembered correctly, this happened over Goryeo on the seventeenth of September in 939.
That was in two days.
Suddenly, you knew; this was most likely your way home.
* * *
Later that night, you called for Prince Taehyung to join you in your room. You paced back and forth until a soft knock rang out, causing you to take a deep breath before opening the door. There stood the prince in all his glory, his face seeming worried.
“Are you all right?” He asked frantically, looking at your appearance.
“Yes,” You responded, biting your lip, “Come in.”
You closed the door behind him when he walked inside and sighed, facing him, “I’ve been lying.”
“W- What?” He croaked, his eyes wide.
“I am not from a place far away. Well, I am but… I am not from this time, Taehyung. The city of Seoul is not that far from where this palace stands, but it is more than one thousand years in the future.” You explained, searching his eyes for any signs of hostility.
“Are you saying you’re from the future? Y/N, did you hit your head or something? Shall I take you to a doctor?” He moved to hold your hands, still worried.
“No, Taehyung. Here, I- I can prove it,” You pulled away from him to fish out your bag and old clothes from where you stashed them all that time ago under the bed, lying them on top of the mattress.
“That clothing, and that bag. They are not from this time. Have you ever seen anything like them?”
“I-” The prince stammered, shaking his head, “No, but it could be from another country. Not the future.”
You huffed and opened the bag, taking out the contents: more clothing from your time, your bright pink water bottle, your phone, and its charger.
“What are those?” Taehyung asked, leaning over them.
You took your phone and powered it on, causing the man to jump in place as he watched the Apple logo appear on the screen.
“This,” You said, “Is technology. It’s called a phone, specifically an iPhone. That rubber-like chord, there, gives it power. See? Tell me this isn’t futuristic.”
The ancient prince blinked, watching as the device powered on, “I.. cannot give any other explanation. I suppose it would also explain why you suddenly showed up at the palace… I believe you,” He turned his gaze to meet your eyes making you smile.
You set the phone down and gingerly wrapped the man in a hug, which he returned enthusiastically.
“Taehyung,” You mumbled into his chest, “I have to go home soon. I have to leave.”
He let go and held you by your shoulder, pushing you back only slightly, “Soon? H- How soon?”
“Two days,” You mumbled, looking down.
Taehyung’s face crumbled as he stared at you with pained eyes. He took his hands off of you and reached into the pocket of his silk robes, “I.. wanted to give you something. I was saving it for.. A little later on, but now I want our time left together to last.”
You snapped your scrutiny up at him, “What.. What is it?”
He fished something out of his pocket and held a ring between his fingertips, it was covered in emeralds, rubies, and other rare jewels. Your eyes widened as he smiled shyly, “This belonged to my mother. She told me to give it to the one I wished to marry. I want to marry you, Y/N.”
You blinked, attempting to register the situation. Of course, in this time, there wasn’t really courting; it was marriage. Usually arranged marriages, like the one Taehyung was supposed to get later in life.
“I’ve grown to be attached to you… And I want- wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. But now, I want you to accept the ring, not to marry me, but to take it back with you and… Remember me.”
Tears welled in your eyes as you nodded, stepping closer to him once again, “I’ve developed romantic feelings for you as well. I tried to push them away because of course, my departure is inevitable but I just.. Can’t.”
Taehyung stepped closer to you as well, so that your chests were touching, and gently slipped the ring on your finger while searching your eyes with his, “I’ll never forget you, okay? None of us will.”
“I’ll never forget you all either,” You sniffled, tears beginning to fall.
The prince gently shushed you, wiping your tears before cupping your face and planting a soft kiss on your lips.
You were going to miss him. You were going to miss Goryeo.
This was going to be harder than you imagined.
* * *
After looking into the books a bit more, you discovered the exact time and place you had to be to leave for good. And so, at high noon, you changed back into the clothes you arrived in and snuck out of the palace, knowing that anyone who saw you would order you to change immediately.
You let the king know the night before that you would be making your departure. You thanked him for the longer-than-planned hospitality and quickly scurried away, intimidated by the founder of Goryeo.
You asked Taehyung to meet you at the bridge before you had to leave, and as you arrived and saw no sign of him, you sighed. You couldn’t wait; it was now or never.
You stepped in the middle of the bridge and looked at the partial eclipse, the bright sun hurting your eyes. You watched as your fingertips began to disappear and bits of solar light surrounded your body.
This was it.
Suddenly, you heard a loud, deep voice call your name. An all too familiar voice.
Whipping your head in the direction of said voice, your eyes widened upon seeing your love running towards you, tears in his eyes.
“Taehyung,” You mumbled as he hugged you, careful not to knock you out of the spot you had to be in to leave. He sobbed on your shoulder, you would’ve run your hands through his hair, but they, along with your arms, were disappearing.
“I don’t want you to leave. Please… Don’t leave me.”
“I have to,” You cooed, “I’m sorry.”
He released you from his death grip, watching as you dissipated before his very eyes.
“No,” He whimpered, capturing your lips in a needy, passionate kiss.
He let out another sob as he pulled away, watching as your crying figure continued to fade.
“I love you,” The prince whispered, watching you with helpless eyes.
“I love you too,” You gave him a soft smile through the tears.
And then, you were gone.
* * *
It’s been a year since you travelled to the time of the Goryeo Dynasty. You wrote a very successful book titled Through Time, There Was You. You’re currently at a signing event which includes a Q & A session, which is taking place right now.
“Ms L/N! Was there an inspiration for this book?” A woman asks.
You smile brightly and hold the microphone to your lips, “Yes, in fact, there was. A personal experience, followed by the painting done by Kim Taehyung of the Goryeo Dynasty. His most famous piece, of a maiden disappearing while standing on a bridge, surrounded by lights. The one titled ‘Her,’” You play with the jewelled ring on your finger as you wait for the next question, twisting it and running your opposite thumb over the emeralds.
A middle-aged man asks the next question, “You mention the Goryeo Dynasty a lot in Through Time, There Was You. Do you have a connection to it?”
“Ah,” You hum, thinking, “Not directly, no. But I have always been fascinated with it and any of my friends can tell you that I’ve always been a history nerd, especially when it comes to Goryeo. You could even say I went there once,” You grin cheekily.
“Okay,” The manager of the event says loudly, “We have time for one last question. You, young man with the blue jacket in the back.”
Said man makes his way to the front with a microphone in hand. Upon seeing him, you furrow your brows a bit. He looks awfully familiar, if only you could place it…
He has dyed dark brown hair that’s a bit long, like a mullet. Smooth, tan skin, and even lips that curl into a boxy smile. He’s wearing ripped jeans with a silk dress shirt, black Gucci shoes, and a blue Gucci jacket. You’ll hand it to him, he has style.
When his teary eyes meet yours and his voice rings throughout the library, your eyes go wide and you almost drop your own microphone as tears well in your eyes as well.
“Do you believe in reincarnation?”
You bite your lip as the two of you gaze at each other for a few seconds. You know then; it’s Taeyhung.
You then break out into a huge, dumb smile, and bring the microphone back to your lips, “I do now.”
✦characters:taehyung x reader ✦genre/words:[m for language] angst. break up. accusation. jealousy. dancing. slut-shaming. | 1.4k ✦summary:you’ve been a dancer your whole life. taehyung knew that. he’s been your friend for 7 years and it’s only been 6 months since you’ve started considering you could develop into an actual relationship since you confessed your feelings to each other. things have been strong and solid so far. perfect even. but does the fact that jungkook is your ex bother him? particularly that your relationship was primarily sexual? he said I’m not so sure he is entirely okay with it and here’s why… ✦disclaimer:edit by me.
You’re in your element. Dancing the same routine with the same dance partner you’ve had for the last three years. You always swore that if he wasn’t gay, you would have jumped on that a verylong time ago. But alas, he doesn’t remotely swing your way at all; not even on drunken nights or trips. Such a shame. Although you don’t think that way anymore, your relationship has been strictly platonic and have respected each other’s boundaries. Luckily, he’s an incredible dancer and the only one that can usually keep up with you. So for those particularly raunchy songs, he’s your go-to dance partner and he never turns down the opportunity. No one ever turns down the top dancer at the studio - you.
In the room with about ten other dancers observing you, the beat deepens, making your moves more and more erotic and passionate. It is as if you’re taking each other’s sexual energy out on another in the most platonic way as dancers do. Every once in a while you throw a smile to each other just to reassure the other person that they’re okay and the boundaries are still intact. Suddenly, you feel a presence in the room. It instantly makes you feel alert and on-edge. When you break your concentration, you turn your gaze towards the door and find a very furious Taehyung. In a matter of seconds, your heart quickens and you feel goosebumps across your skin. It’s not in a way of guilt or being caught but the way he is looking at you makes so undeniably submissive in that moment.
Min-hyuk quickly picks up on your vibe and comes to a slowing pace. He too feels no threat in the actions that just took place but can easily recognize an alpha male when in its presence.
“Stop,” Taehyung says with harshness in his tone. The look in your eyes goes from innocent to irritated the moment you hear the words.
“Why,” you spat back. Taehyung looks at you as if you’ve lost your mind. He walks up to you with a purpose. Jungkook, Jimin, Hobi and Namjoon follow not too close behind. They look embarrassed. Jimin’s face is red as he remains closest to Tae as if to keep him calm. You see him speaking to Tae as they walk towards you; a classic Jimin move when he has to tame the beast that Tae can be when he’s upset. He’s never been upset towards you, but after being friends for so many years, you’ve certainly seen it towards others.
“Why? W-wh-,” he scoffs in disbelief. You notice now how red his face is as he looks up and runs his fingers through his hair. He licks his lips when he looks back at you but with a much more serious look on his face.
“I’ve always respected that you were a dancer. You’re talented and mesmerizing. Truly. But…this? Whatever this is? How could you disrespect me like that?” By now, Min-hyuk had stepped away from you but maintained a close distance out of protection. He’s never seen this side of Tae before so he can’t really predict what he may do.
You look at Tae in confusion, you look around the room at your friends that are now staring at the scene, and back at Tae.
“First of all, I have no idea what you’re talking about and second, could we talk in private? This display is disrespectful to everyone else in this room,” you say in a hush but stern voice. Taehyung stands taller and looks at Min-hyuk.
“I need you to step away from her please,” he says overlooking you. Min-hyuk smirks and is about to say something but you interject.
“You do not speak to him like that. What is the matter with you, Tae? Talk to me.” This time, you’re trying to rationalize with him.
“No, why don’t you talk to me? Do you always dance like that with him? What about other male dancers? Oh sorry, I guess any dancer doesn’t matter.” Now you scoff with an undertone of insanity. Now you’re smiling wide and have to compose yourself for a moment. Did he seriously just attack your sexuality? Everything makes sense now. He’s jealous.
“Yes I do always dance like that with him, Taehyung, sometimes. He is my dance partner. His name is Han Min-hyuk. You remember him, right? You’ve met several times before. Enjoyed bbq and soju on several occasions, even in my own apartment. What the hell, Tae?” Now you’re pissed.
“Something always felt off about you two and now I know why. It’s different with him. I can see it and I know everyone else can. It’s tooclose. It’s intimate. What am I supposed to think?” Jimin now steps in with a panicked look on his face that he quickly masks with a smile.
“A-ah come on. Noona always dances well,” he says with a bright smile and pats Taehyung’s chest as he stands by his side, “Taehyung-ah, you’ve seen me dance like that with girls before. It’s just how dancers are. It’s just movement. Let’s just leave it be and go, yeah?” But neither of you pay attention to him. You can sense something bad is about to happen and try to assert your dominance in your gaze.
“It is intimate and close, Taehyung. How else are two people supposed to dance together,” you say calmly but your tone is cold as ice.
“By practically having sex in front of everyone?!” Taehyung’s voice is sharp and deep with a harsh volume. It pierces through you like a stinging blade.
“Taehyung,” Namjoon warns assertively.
“That’s enough. Apologize to her and let’s go,” Hobi chimes as he tries to brush it off.
“No, it’s okay. Let him say what he wants to say,” you say without breaking eye contact with Tae with a devilish smirk on your face. You dare take a step close to him. So much was said in this advance towards him. You were testing him and by remaining as he stood, he accepted this challenge. There was a darkness in him and for once, you did not feel afraid as you have with others. It’s the darkness that you don’t see in people that scares you the most. Being faced head on with something so unknowing, made you want to welcome it with the intent of resolve.
“Is that how you really feel, Tae? Because I thought above all, our relationship was built on trust. I’m not that type of person. You should know that by now.” At first your words start soft to gently remind him but they soon become desperate as you start to realize that he doesn’t fully trust you. After all this time, you thought he trusted you considering everything. But…
“Trust you? Trust you? How can I trust you? You’re the one who whored around with Jungkook for over a year until you got bored and moved onto me. Can’t exactly say I’d be surprised if it happened to me too.”
“Kim Taehyung!” Jimin scolded quickly in disbelief. You stood there as if your soul left your body. You couldn’t believe the words that just came out of his mouth. You always suspected that he felt this way deep down. For once, you hoped that this would be it - the man you would settle down with because you knew that he was truly the one you had loved all this time. The man you thought could never love you and that you would never be good enough but made you feel like you were the most incredible person in the world. And within seconds, he shattered that vision.
No one words uttered from your mouth. All you could do was brush Min-hyuk off of you as he had stepped in closer at Tae’s words. The protection in his movement was nothing more than brotherly. You held your hand up to stop him quietly. A few seconds of pause went by.
“Awesome…” You say with a scoff the word as you walk past Taehyung with a knowing smile of disgust. He doesn’t deserve your words and you say that clearly in that moment with such a single word. No words could fix what he just said. Even an apology wouldn’t get very far to you right now. Especially after everything, for Jungkook admitting to engaging the relationship with you and intentionally not wanting to turn into more. Knowing you wanted more but he strung you along like you were just a toy. And for Taehyung to say something like that, you knew he meant that truly deep down.
His friends all looked at the scene with their jaws dropped. They couldn’t believe he crossed the line. Meanwhile, you walk out the door knowing it was coming.
6 months later…
Not a day had gone by that Taehyung didn’t regret that moment. He played it over and over in his head. He knew his quick angered tendencies would get the best of him. He knew he would sabotage the only relationship that truly meant anything to him. As much as he didn’t truly mean those words, the only girl that made his heart sing had frozen to ice and has yet to give a single reply.
He reached for your name in his contacts for the umpteenth time just to hear…
— bruised knees from climbing trees, each summer was spent the same. now eight years of nothing have passed and they’re back where they started, forced to navigate through all the heartbreak that comes with seeing each other again in order to make a great summer for their friends.
A/N:timestamps make sense throughout the fic. if u want to be added to the tag list, send me an ask! + if you’ve asked to be on my permanent taglist, you do not need to ask to be added to this one !!
Pairing:Sister!Reader + Kim brothers; JHS x Fem!Reader; some POV shifts on chapters/drabbles
Rating: M ()
Genre:Siblings!AU; Marriage!AU; exes to ?; angst; smut; fluff
Warnings (more to be written in individual chapter updates): angst with a capital A; character illness and death; family issues; bickering; discussions of menstrual cycle; heavy pining; FWB; unrequited love; mentions of infidelity; reproductive challenges; toxic relationships; missed opportunities; some fluff; some smut
Teaser word count:1,476K
Summary:Four grown siblings return to their childhood hometown after their father is declared to be terminal. They are forced to live under the same roof for days, along with their overbearing mother, to say their final goodbyes. It starts off nostalgic until some unresolved family issues along with an assortment of spouses, exes, and might-have-beens make things even more interesting.
A/N:I’ve had this idea brewing for months now and it’s probably going to be one of my more ambitious AUs–more challenging than Scale, IMO. Four separate stories, converging into one. There’s going to be a LOT of angst, maybe some comedy…but definitely a lot of angst. If you’ve read my fics, you’ll know that I’m mostly inspired or prompted by movies or shows I’ve seen. This particular one has been inspired by This is Where I Leave You (2014). I’ve been thinking about a Kim Line fic for a while and I thought that this would be a perfect way to finally bring it to life!
Intro chapters will be posted as part of @btswritingcafe’s Specialty Coffee event.
@internetjunkdrawer – I know we’ve always joked about this series side-eyeing me as I kept working on other prompts instead of this. Now, I have no excuse!
Release date: June 2022
Namjoon is awakened by loud thumps and muffled conversations coming from above him. He feels around the nightstand for his watch. It was a makeshift nightstand–one that he assembled using an old dining chair and a desk lamp that he found in the basement–which was where your mom put him since all of the bedrooms in the house were taken.
He groans. It was just a little past 8:15 in the morning. Great. As if he didn’t just fall asleep less than three hours ago. He stretches the crick in his neck–this pull-out couch was not the most comfortable but at least he had the whole basement to himself. Alone. With his thoughts.
After a quick shower, he makes his way up the creaky steps and down the hall to the dining room, where everyone else was already seated and in the middle of a lively conversation.
“Well, good morning to you, sleepyhead!” Your mom beams at him from the head of the table. Her hair was all done up with a full face of makeup as if she were headed to a red carpet premiere.
“C’mon, darling, we saved you a spot,” she said loudly as the whole table continued their banter.
Namjoon walks over to take the open seat next to you. Your oldest brother, Jin hands over the plate of bacon to him, followed by a plate of eggs, offered by your younger brother Taehyung.
You poured him a glass of orange juice before you continued your story.
“Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah! So, I was around 10 and babysitting Tae—and uh, I realized that I had just gotten my period for the first time—which, I had no idea that was what it was then. And what do you know, dad walks into the room and sees blood on my clothes and flies into a panic.”
“Wait, so where was your mom in all this?” Jin’s wife, Yoojung, remarks.
Your mom smiled warmly. “I was in a remote location for ‘Valley of the Beast’ and we were filming some underwater scenes so they couldn’t really reach me,” she explains.
“Oh…gosh, I remember now. I remember when I biked past those news vans when the movie came out. It was pretty exciting,” she remarked.
“Right,” you continued. “So dad grabs me and Tae—throws us in the backseat of the car and he’s zooming past stop signs to get me to the hospital,” you begin to laugh.
“You want some more syrup for your waffles, love?” Jin asks her quietly.
She hesitates. “I really shouldn’t. The doctor says that too much sugar might not be good,” she replies softly.
He nods, putting the syrup dispenser back on the table, then leaning over to kiss her hair. She looks at him and smiles.
You see their sweet exchange out of the corner of your eye, but you continue your story without missing a beat. “So then he gets pulled over by Officer Cheong! And he goes, ‘Mr. Kim, do you know how fast you were going?’ And then dad practically yells at him like, ‘You don’t understand! My daughter is hemorrhaging! I need to get her to the emergency room!’ So Officer Cheong takes a look at me and Taehyungie in the backseat and checks to make sure that we were okay…but dad wouldn’t stop freaking out.”
Taehyung laughs. “That was a very exciting afternoon,” he says between spoonfuls of eggs.
Everyone around the table laughs because your dad can be so calm and collected especially during a busy night at the restaurant. And yet, at the faintest sight of blood or any medical emergency, all logic goes out the door.
Thankfully, Officer Cheong has three daughters and after concluding that you were not in any physical distress, he explains the situation to your dad and offers to provide a police escort to the nearest pharmacy to help him buy sanitary pads. The lady at the checkout counter was nice enough to tell you what to do.
Jin jumps in and connects the topic about a previous experience when he broke his fingers during a baseball game and his dad nearly fainted while he watched the doctor reset his digits in the emergency room.
Namjoon’s phone buzzes. He takes it out of his pocket to see ‘Victoria’ on the caller ID. He promptly rejects it.
“It’s your wife, why don’t you answer it?” You mumble at him.
“Why don’t you share another story about your cycle, YN?” He counters.
“What about you, Namjoon-ah?” Your mom says.
“Hm?”
“What’s your favorite memory of dad?”
“Uh…can we just circle back? Maybe Taehyung-ah can go next,” Namjoon says as he takes a bite of his bacon.
“I already went. Mine was pretty epic,” Taehyung replies.
He chuckles nervously. “How can I possibly follow YN’s story?”
“Oh, c’mon, Namjoon. Don’t you have any good memories of him?” Jin asks.
He tries to wave everyone off. “Sorry, guys. My mind’s just blanking out this morning. Didn’t sleep much last night.”
“You know, Joon, if you have any unresolved issues with your dad, now’s the time to get it all out,” your mom urges.
“Mom, why would you automatically assume that I have issues with dad? Maybe I just really can’t remember anything at the moment,” Namjoon answers with a slight hint of irritation.
Before she could argue, the doorbell rings and she excuses herself to answer it.
“Oooh! Wait, I’ve got another,” Taehyung volunteers excitedly. “So—I’m in the garage, searching for my beyblades in dad’s toolbox,” he trails off.
That took a load off Namjoon’s shoulders.
The conversation continues for a few more minutes until a chirping sound goes off.
Yoojung is slightly startled before looking at her phone to silence it. She clears her throat then gives her husband a look. “Uh, Jin?” She whispers, lightly tapping on his leg.
He sighs and slouches his shoulders slightly. “Now? Really?”
“Can’t do it by myself,” she mutters under her breath before she excuses herself and gets up from the table. After she puts her dish in the sink she heads down to the hallway and up the stairs to their bedroom.
“What’s up?” Namjoon asks.
Jin gets up from his seat begrudgingly and takes his own dish to the sink. “I have to have sex,” he announces blandly.
Taehyung snorts. “Jin-hyung, sex is supposed to be fun!”
“Yeah, well, not when it’s on a schedule.” He says before he trudged down the hallway and upstairs to his waiting wife.
“Well, whatever you do, keep it down so you don’t wake dad up,” Namjoon jokes.
“Very funny, Namjoon-ah,” Jin yells sarcastically from the landing.
The dining room windows have a full view of the driveway across the street.
Namjoon glances at you to find you watching the neighbor walk out of the front door towards his car.
“Enjoying the view?” He whispers in your ear.
“Shut up,” you said, turning your attention back to your plate of pancakes.
“We should ask him if he wants to stop by here and grab a bite before heading to work,” he teases.
“I’m sure Hobi can afford to get his own breakfast anywhere,” you snarked.
“I remember when I used to see him sneak out of your room before breakfast,” Namjoon says under his breath before snickering.
His body jerks, nearly knocking the table over when you pinch him on this thigh. Taehyung gives you both a quizzical look until your mom’s voice bellows down the hallway.
“Taehyung! Look who’s here,” your mom says as she walks into the dining room with company.
“Eunhae?” Taehyung looks like he’s just seen a ghost. She was the last person he expected to show up at your childhood home.
“She introduced herself and said she was your friend. I was just having a lovely conversation with her. She said she’d heard about dad and wanted to pay her respects. Isn’t that sweet?”
You cleared your throat, prompting your younger brother to introduce his ‘friend’ to everyone.
“Uh—Namjoon-hyung, YN-noona, this is Eunhae. She’s a good friend from the city.” He says nervously.
She smiles and bows politely to everyone in the room. “Jin-hyung is uhm, in the middle of something but, I can introduce you later,” he utters before giving you an uncomfortable look.
You already knew about Eunhae though you were equally surprised to see that she actually came out to your hometown, given your past conversations with Taehyung.
He immediately dotes on her, offering her breakfast as she takes her seat next to him.
Namjoon doesn’t suspect a thing and is distracted by rejecting yet another call from Victoria.
This was your family. You loved them with all your heart. However, in the rare cases that you all got together under one roof, it always spelled chaos. But it was chaos you’d choose over any picture-perfect life.
Chapter 1: Seokjin◥
Thank you for reading!
If you loved it, please comment, reblog, or send me feedback! . I love hearing from readers! If you didn’t like it so much, I would still like to hear about it
My taglist is open as well so just reply to this post or send me an ask and I’ll add you.
Summary: Your locomotion is not that of a normal human being, rather it is to the extent of physically being able to transport from one place to another. Normally, your ‘seams’ slip you into locations that you are familiar with, but when you unexpectedly happen upon the apartment of Kim Taehyung in Seoul, South Korea – your ability that you have always deemed a curse begins to feel more like a blessing in disguise.
Count: 21,883 words.
Note: There is a smut scene at 15.12.2017 – it is not necessary to read if that stuff does not sit well with you, but you must read the final paragraph. Full sentences that are expressed in italics are indicators that they are being spoken in Korean. I sweated blood and tears for this fic I hope you can taste the salt when you read every single sentence.
09.02.2017 → V1
It is not uncommon for you to blink, and suddenly find yourself elsewhere.
The novel you were reading beneath afternoon summer light, bleeding gold across inky sentences, no longer weighs lightly in your palms. The grocery store aisles with their shelves of generic cereal brands and biscuits no longer demand to be bought beneath fluorescent lighting but instead become rows upon rows of old paperback novels about intangible love. The cracked plaster of your bedroom ceiling you were watching through sleep-heavy eyes opens up into an endless blanket of navy blue, speckled with the silver freckles of the stars, thick strands of grass nestled against your shoulder blades instead of the crisp sheets of your bed.
The places that you end up are familiar, comforting, always the same. The library downtown is a frequent location, the museum in the next suburb over, the meadow you always visited as a child to bring your fantasies to life. The slips occur at peculiar times, most often when you are stressed or exhausted down to the marrow of your bones, but sometimes when you least expect. You can never decide whether it is worse at night or day, because the darkness brings an eerie tension to the creaking swings in the park and the rusting slippery slide, and the light brings an anxious bite to the bookstore bustling with bodies that have not a clue of those who can unintentionally bend the physics of existence and suddenly materialise in locations they know better than the back of their own hand.
Mostly, it is simply annoying, never of any kind of benefit. Your feet just cannot maintain their solidity on the ground they stand upon, and such a matter has branched back into your family tree for generations. It can be controlled, but it takes years to master such a refined art, and it can even be stopped entirely, yet such a happening is a rarity that has only graced your great great grandfather.
Tonight is not unusual to any other. You pull back the sheets, feel the lethargy crawl out of the cotton and beneath your skin, dragging you down, down, encouraging you onto the mattress until a familiar tingle itches up your spine. And you think no, no, not now when you are in nothing but a flimsy silk nightdress, when all you want to do is allow the blissful lull of dreams to take you under, but you have never been one to have a say in this. Not yet, at least.
The shift is a rippling wave rolling over your body, except in that wave are a thousand needles, pricking at your bones like crackling electricity, taking you apart, reforming you elsewhere. The first time, which occurred at the age of fourteen, hurt like absolute hell, but now it is more a dull ache if you can refer such a thing to being quite literally pulled into pieces and remade. You stopped counting the number of times you have slipped through the seams once you no longer had enough fingers, toes, to tick off. And with every jump, the sensations became more bearable.
This, though, is the first time that you have leapt through a seam that takes you across mighty expanses of land and seas, spitting you out into an apartment too small for the objects that cluster within.
You land, ungraciously, upon an unmade bed that homes no presence of warmth, no recent frequency of another being. At first, you heave a weighted sigh of relief, thankful that your body has not decided to drop you onto a hardwood table or a biting gravel road, especially in the sparse garment that you wear. Usually, the slips are gentle, but often they can be frenzied and quite literally just spit you wherever you can be disposed of. Akin to a fickle woman who rushes around her apartment, throwing this and that in place since she is already five minutes late to her date, the seams will slip and slide between the extremities of a smooth sailing ride or a close range gunshot, messy and catastrophic but you cannot damn well help it.
Then, the confusion, edging on the skirts of panic, starts to make itself known in an unease beneath your skin. Because one, although you are always, always taken to places of familiarity, you can swear on your life that you have never once been in this apartment before, and two, you are absolutely positive that we are not in Kansas anymore, Toto. It hints in the compact walls, the faint, yet distinct aroma of Asian cuisine that drifts through the slot open window, the paperback books upon books that are creased and bookmarked on the bedside table amongst stained coffee mugs, all inked in an alphabet that your pen does not understand, nor know of at all.
Tentatively, you shuffle across the mattress until your bare soles meet the floorboards, the touch alike stepping on ice, and it is only then that you truly register how absolutely freezing the entire place is. In a feeble attempt to bring heat back to your blood, you firmly rub your palms up and down your exposed arms, approaching the window and peering through the parted curtains to the street below. It bustles with a warm, conversational ambience, makeshift markets lining the sidewalks and concocting the delicious aromas that make your tongue tingle, all manned by Asian men and women who are cloaked in thick coats and long pants, scarves tucked in loops around their necks.
It is then, that you realise that it is not just the apartment that is cold, but also the temperature outside as well. A kind of bite that cannot be conjured by an odd, stormy summer night, one that wraps tightly around your bones in a chill that makes your entire body quake and quiver.
No, no. Which can only mean that it is winter.
And suddenly, the confusion is completely and utterly swallowed by the panic, an anxiety that roots deep in your stomach because not only has the seam slipped you into an unknown apartment, but it has stretched across continents, oceans, to welcome you into an entirely different country.
“Holyshit!”You gasp, clasping your hand over your mouth, eyes widening because this is real, this is not a dream, it is well and truly occurring right here and now and you need to go, go go. Desperately, you try to will yourself to be taken back home, squeezing your eyes shut and thinking about nothing but your bed, your desk, the walls of your very own room. But no matter how hard you try, the situation of where you are continues to creep back up on you like a monster waiting beneath the bed, demanding to be known, revealed and explored.
Maybe. You distressingly think. Maybe I am too cold.
So, with a mental apology to whoever resides within this apartment that unsuspectingly lures women who can jump through space, you quickly pad over to the small walk-in wardrobe that is nestled in the same wall as what appears to be the entrance to a bathroom. In comparison to the unruly apartment, you discover that the clothing hanging on the racks is surprisingly tasteful with labels that are far beyond your price range, some items reaching into the triple figures, all menswear in suits and ties, coats, the occasional baggy slacks. Avoiding anything drastically expensive, you settle on a forest green jumper that hangs to your mid-thigh and a pair of sports shorts that brush past your knees – looking completely ridiculous, but it was better than your nightdress that welcomed that teeth of winter to take your skin for the kill.
For five minutes more, you sit upon the edge of the bed in the partial darkness, eyes closed, focusing on home but gradually, with every passing second, losing more and more hope. Not even a shiver outside of the icy atmosphere has made itself present, no prick of thin needles, no weightlessness of existing without a physical form. The slip, it seems, wishes for you to stay a while, and you know that under all circumstances, you certainly cannot stay much longer within this apartment because god knows who it belongs to and when they will be arriving home.
Lacking concern on an appropriate appearance, you roll on black socks and slide your feet into a pair of sheepskin boots that are at least five sizes too big, running your fingers through your tangled hair before exiting the bedroom and searching for the front door. The living space is not much bigger than the sleeping quarters, with the dining area, kitchen, and lounge space all squeezed into one, overlapping in places, but it holds a warmth of homeliness that almost makes you wish to stay. But rather, you spot the entrance down a short hallway that is lined with shoes from leather patent oxfords to battered black and white converse, careful to not disturb the order as you edge past them in the dark, eyes on the orange light that filters through the frosted glass above the doorway, a nervousness at abandoning the security of this apartment for the streets of this foreign land beginning to stir about your heart.
But as you reach for the door handle, there is a soft jingle, and then it is twisting open on its own accord.
For a moment, you cannot entirely register what is happening, nor reconcile the man that stands before you with his slender fingers still curled around the doorknob, staring with what appears to be an expression of bewilderment that most certainly resembles your own. With the hallway light of the apartment complex shining directly behind him, yet completely exposing you, it is difficult to make out any certain features other than the fact that he is built like a slender tree, tall, yet still having an aura of girth about him in the broad set of his shoulders. Faintly, you can make out large, almond shaped eyes, cheekbones made harsher by the shadows, honey blonde hair that is ruffled with a day of outings, plush lips that are parted in surprise, confusion, awe. Alike a deer in headlights, all you can find yourself capable of doing is becoming a taut statue of human muscle and flesh, silent, frightened.
The stranger, and supposedly the owner of the home you accidentally landed within, flicks on a light beside the doorway, washing the both of you in a yellow glow that reveals himself entirely and has you struck with wonder. The backlight and shadows had not done him any justice, for now, he is suddenly transformed into a marvellous beauty that leaves you amazed and frankly – almost thankful that out of all the potential homes your seam had to place you within, that it was his very own, if not for the fact that you were still scared out of your rational thought, heart racing a mile a minute, almost breaking through your ribs and escaping your chest altogether.
“What are you doing in my apartment?”
His voice is a deep crushed velvet, cloaking your skin in a language that you cannot decipher, vowels and consonants completely and utterly foreign to your hearing. Unknowing what to do, you gape, close your mouth, and then gape again, a mute goldfish of fear and desperation, of please, please just take me home. But your body does not quake and shiver, and your feet remain grounded, so all you can do is stare blankly at the mystery man of a world galaxies apart from your own and pray that he does not skin you down to the bone for invading. Your only solace is that his face remains passive as if he is beyond used to being exposed to the unusual.
“My English is terrible, I apologise,” He speaks again, and you can almost cry at the sound of your native tongue flicking in your ears. His voice still sounds so lovely, massaging into your skin with a gentle warmth, a little unsure in its capabilities with an accent tinging the edges. “I asked what you’re doing here.”
You blink, lips forming a perfect circle and oh. “I-If I tell you, you won’t believe me.”
“Given that I have not thrown you out yet, I’m sure you can trust that I’ll probably believe whatever story you have to say,” And when he smiles, it looks painfully familiar, tucked in between dusty memories that were deemed insignificant until now. You card through the mental pages, yet he hides himself well.
But first things first. “Where am I? What country are we in?”
His smile appears to fade in the slightest, suddenly a little wary. “Seoul, South Korea.”
South. Fucking. Korea.
For an instant, an overwhelming surge of giddiness shoots from your toes to your nose, tickling beneath your skin and you have to clasp your palms over your lips to suffocate the disbelieving laughter. The unknown man watches on, still standing in the doorway of his own home at the unusual girl who is finally getting her bearings on the fact that she has travelled across oceans within the blink of an eye, the smile remaining to colour the corners of his mouth because he is just as incredulous at the sight of a foreign being giggling to herself inside his flat, and by the way–
“My clothes?”
His voice, laced with muted humour, snaps you back into the situation at hand and you look down at the haphazard pairing of garments that you wear, flushing a brilliant rosy colour because you suppose you have been caught redhanded. Dropping your hands back to your sides, you stare up at him apologetically.
“I-I didn’t want to take them,” You murmur with hesitance, reaching into the pocket of the sports shorts where your silk nightdress had been stuffed. Unabashedly, you hold the flimsy, and to the conservative person, erotic item up for him to see as if to say how could I simply stay warm in such a thing? “But where I came from, it is still summertime so this was all that I was wearing when I arrived. It is absolutely freezing here.”
“Arrived?”
Oh.
Gathering the silk back into the pocket, your brows pull into a slight frown. “If you truly want an explanation, I think you might need to, um, sit down. It could take us a while.”
Although the man yawns like a feline, dark eyes squinting shut, he takes a step closer so that he is within the flat, shutting the door and unwinding the chestnut coloured scarf draped over his shoulders before delivering another smile that remains to hone familiarity within your subconscious.
“I have time.”
And so he fills up the kettle and sets it to boil, laying out teacups and bringing you a soft blanket to wrap around your legs. The strangers does not change out of his long coat and slim, charcoal trousers, appearing very prim and proper in comparison to you, but he does not seem to mind, ignoring the ever present burn that simmers on your cheeks at the sudden awareness of your own sloppy appearance. Once the tea has been made, he brings the porcelain cups over to the dimly lit dining table, placing one before you and then settling into the chair directly across the stretch of wood. Absently, you watch the steam curl in spirals from the cherry red liquid until he is breaking the silence.
“What is your name?”
Flicking your gaze back up to him, you cannot help but be struck again at how placidly beautiful he is. “It’s Y/N.”
“Ah, it sounds beautiful. Y/N.” It truly does sound lovely on the tip of his tongue, and you wish to swim in his delighted grin that uncannily resembles a box. “I’m Kim Taehyung. Pleased to meet you.”
At that, you laugh, which appears to make him light up that much more. “The pleasure is all mine.”
And just like that, you lay your trust on the table for this Kim Taehyung who strikes familiarity within you, yet for reasons unknown, to observe and attempt to understand. You tell him everything. From how the ability to slip through the seams in space has stretched centuries beyond your lifetime, a ribbon that has woven itself through the generations upon generations of your family, but only tying in knots around the hearts of a select, destined few – you being one of them – to the fact that it can take decades to control its sporadic occurrence unless luck is on your side and it gradually releases you from its treacherous clutches, to the general relativity of the seam slips and how that makes your visit to his apartment, thousands of miles beyond your own home, such an irregularity, a flaw in the metaphorical system that is travelling, jumping, leaping through the construct of physics from one destination to another.
“So basically, it is like– Ah. I cannot think of the English word for it.” Taehyung frowns, rubbing at his jaw in concentration, but you already know.
You take a sip of your lukewarm tea. “Teleportation.”
“Yes! Teleportation.” He says it as one would say eureka! – full of gusto and with an affirmative clap of his broad palm against the table. “That is … Amazing. A gift.”
When you laugh, his cheeks tinge a soft rose shade. “A curse, more like it, since I have no control over when it happens. I mean, right before I arrived here, I was getting into bed, on the verge of sleep. It is disorienting, especially because it targets you when you are vulnerable.”
“I think it is, uh, fascinating.” You like the way that his brows pinch together when he searches for a word, eyes flicking back and forth, distant, as though the letters are strung up in the air before him to sift through. Then, his gaze drifts back to you, and you cannot help the delightful warmth that envelops your limbs at the weight of it. “Beautiful, in the way that your feet simply cannot stay grounded to one place. They strive for somewhere new, different.”
With your fingertip, you circle the rim of your teacup, a meek smile pulling at the corners of your lips as your words draw up a familiar memory, one with your grandfather on the back porch, coated in streams of sunlight, watermelon crunching between teeth. “I always wonder if they are searching for something, or trying to take me back to my childhood.”
“Maybe they are looking for someone to make them stay.”
When Taehyung speaks those words, mirth plays around his eyes, honesty softening his features, and you cannot help but look away, feeling your heart start to pick up at an erratic pace that you are certainly sure, with the silence that envelops the apartment, he can hear. Truly, it was something you had always wondered too, whether the seams were trying to slip you into the life of another, quite literally throwing you to the nearest body of warmth. That was how many of the seam slipping generations before you found love, after all.
Determined on changing the subject, to be free of his dark chocolate eyes that threaten to drown you, you scrabble about your mind for the second question that has been nagging at your subconscious. “I-I know this might sound strange, but I swear I have heard your name before. I think I must have, for me to be brought here since the seams will only take me to places that hold familiarity.”
At that, Taehyung seems to falter, blanking, looking down so that his tousled fringe obscures the beautiful irises that were drinking you in as easily as the tea. A small sigh heaves from his shoulders, fingertips drumming against the underside of the table.
“Well, I don’t mean to sound … Conceited? But I am very famous in South Korea.” The words sound unsure, skittering across the wood in barely a mumble. “I am a singer. But lately, I have been starring in a lot of dramas and other television shows, some that are broadcasted worldwide. That might have been where you saw me or heard my name.”
The way he talks about it is like a heavy burden that sinks ships into the depths of dark oceans, that swallows light and only provides aeons of black oblivion. It seems to hook into his bones and drag him down, down, and you wonder, for somebody who must have the world at his feet with such fame, how he could experience such a feeling, a distaste for the career path that he walks.
“I see. Well, I must say, you were relatively calm when you opened the door to find me.” You say as an attempt to lighten the unexpectedly tense atmosphere, smiling into your teacup before taking a sip. The floral taste soothes wondrous flavours over your tongue. “If it were me coming into my flat to find a complete stranger, I probably would have panicked and called the authorities.”
“That is the unfortunate thing about fame, I’m used to coming home to unfamiliar people searching through my things. The guards are normally always paying attention to who comes and goes downstairs, but some people manage to slip past.” Taehyung says it with an exhausted lilt, tugging at a string of sympathy within you. But then he creates that smile again, directly at you, the kind that lights fires and holds sunlight and you feel yourself getting warmer. “But you’re the first foreigner, and you looked so dazed and confused. I thought maybe you had moved in as a neighbour and accidentally taken the wrong keys – that was until I saw you wearing my clothes.”
And when you laugh with him, you feel it, the sensation of losing your footing, a vibration that tickles up your limbs and has you placing the empty teacup upon the table. When you do so, the porcelain clatters, and his curious gaze seems to understand why. A particularly harsh wave of needlelike pricks across your skin has you wincing.
“Taehyung, it’s time for me to go.”
There is a fleeting hint of something that crosses his expression at your words, akin to disappointment, despondency, stirring a masochistic kind of happiness within you because you are almost glad that he wants you to stay. Desperately, you wish to do so too, wanting to learn everything about his life between the lines, the hastily scrawled notes in the bookmarks, penned down in the ink of his existence.
“Will you come back?” He says, and the words are laced with so much hope that you cannot bear to deny him, to give him any kind of answer that translates to no.
In a stretch of bravery, you reach your hand across the table, and in an air of ease, he takes it with a gentle squeeze. His fingers are much longer than your own, the knuckles curling around your palm, almost swallowing it up whole and you find yourself thinking how uncanny it is that they fit so beautifully together, jigsaw pieces that match perfectly.
“I hope so.” And that is all you can give him, but he appears to deem it enough with the smile that lights up on his lips, that curves his eyes and god, you beg that this was not an accident, an unexpected fault that was never supposed to happen. Taehyung smooths his thumb across your skin, and you shiver.
“I hope so too.”
They are the final words that you hear him speak before you open your eyes and find yourself falling, landing upon the creased sea of your own bedsheets, face to face with the cracked plaster of your ceiling once more, patiently awaiting your arrival in the shadows.
The trembles in your bones take longer to settle this time, and you wonder if that is due to the distance, or maybe the fact that Kim Taehyung has already tucked his heart right beside your own and deemed the spaces between your ribs a place for it to call home.
When you look down, you realise that you are still wearing his clothes.
“Oh,” You breathe, smoothing your palm down the front of the green material, sighing when it lifts the aroma of his cologne into your senses.
Although the heat that simmers in your bedroom, a stark comparison to the shivers that had rattled you back in Taehyung’s apartment, you cannot bring yourself to peel off the sweater, only kicking off the shorts before curling up against the mattress. Your sleep is dreamless, maybe because what had occurred on this evening of winter and summer, of here and there, you lived something much greater than your imagination could ever think to conjure.
When you awake the morning after, you see him again over breakfast, mouth full with half-chewed cereal, forefinger pressing the channel button on the television remote as you aimlessly surf for something that is no less than boring.
You have to backtrack, as it is the split second before you change the channel again that you see his familiar face, sitting on an entertainment panel and smiling the brilliantly mind-blowing grin that pours elation into your heart. Mesmerised, you ignore the subtitles that stream along the lower portion of the screen, simply analysing his ethereal features, how beautiful his deep baritone sounds when it strings around his native tongue, and how almost unfamiliar his demeanour appears in comparison to the man whose apartment you happened upon last night, a thin facade that barely veils the truth beneath.
You decide you like the Taehyung who channelled warmth into your hand and whispered hopes across the dining table than the one who seems to strain his smile through the pixels on the screen, and you hope to every entity in this universe that the one staring at the camera with lifeless eyes, indirectly at you lounged on your sofa, is not the only version you will see ever again.
22.02.2017 → V2
The second time you meet Taehyung, it sounds like he is fucking the life out of somebody.
To be frank, he most definitely is. And you certainly disturb that by misjudging your balance – due to your current state of mind not necessarily being strait-lace as a result of the Sunday family barbeque you were at only moments ago, fourth mimosa in hand – toppling into the glass cabinet-come-pantry that is propped up in his kitchen. Nothing shatters, thankfully, but you certainly make a clatter that encourages the squeaking bed to still, the heated moans to die out into a silence that stirs sickly in the depths of your stomach, choking at your throat until he quickly emerges from the room and closes the door behind him.
Taehyung, you finalise in that moment, is truly so and utterly gorgeous – no matter the situation. Sex softens his limbs, lust glimmering in the beads of sweat that slip down the golden expanse of his torso, cock straining harshly, neglected, against low hanging cotton briefs, lips swollen and bright red. And god, you wish it were you in that bed with him instead, your hands that created the beautiful honey storm of his mussed hair.
“Bad time?” You whisper with a lazy smile, hands behind your back, and the corners of his mouth colour with the hint of one. He looks sleepy, eyes drooping, digging his fingertips into the left, trying to pull himself out of the daze of sex.
“Maybe– No, yeah. I hadn’t–“ He lazily waves his hand about, leaving the rest of his words to interpretation, and you nod with a fluster, understanding. It is difficult not to when you find yourself flicking your gaze southward every other second.
Taehyung seems to notice your constant wandering eyes, his own appraising your simple outfit of a black shirt styled as a dress, how easily he could slide the cotton up your lovely thighs and have what lays between for himself. Maybe that is just the desire talking, or maybe he is already dipping his feet into waters that he has not tread within in too long. Nonetheless, he all but forgets the girl that he left tangled in his sheets with the gardenia tattoo that runs vines of ink up her spine, eyes settling hungry, desperate, on you, until the door behind him is jostling open with a rush of curiosity that soon falls into sheer disgust, betrayal.
“Who is this?” The girl demands, wearing what appears to be his shirt, and although you cannot understand her, you can tell by the twisted look that pulls at her features that she is livid. She looks between the two of you, eyes widening with every passing moment. “Seriously, what the fuck is this, Taehyung?”
When you shrink back at her sudden lash of words, Taehyung snaps into action and turns to face her, his expression completely blank. “I can’t explain, Irene. I don’t want to, either.”
“What do you mean you can’t explain? How the fuck did she get in here?” Irene shouts with a newborn vivacity, her cheeks flaring brightly, but Taehyung is unfazed. She was just another girl, another number in his cellphone, another fuck available on call.
“I think you need to go,” Taehyung mutters quietly, but with enough venom that you see the girl recoil whatever spitfire she had left back into her lungs, swallowing hard before storming into his room. It only takes less than ten seconds for her to remerge, a coat in place, a purse tucked underneath her arm and a glare burning holes through you before she breezes past Taehyung, who looks almost bored.
“Don’t call me again, asshole.”
And then, the door slams with a finality that he welcomes wholeheartedly.
You feel like you have landed straight in the middle of a drama episode, the idea, not at all helped by your tipsiness, having you smacking a palm over your lips to hold in the laughter. Taehyung, with his firm expression, immediately softens at the sight of you, a rueful grin lifting his cheeks as you try to conjure a sentence.
“God, that was awkward! I am so sorry.”
But he understands, running a hand down his face before pushing it back through his hair, making the honey strands stick up even more wildly. “It’s fine. You can’t help it.”
For a moment, the pair of you stare at one another in silence, drinking in the sight of the other after weeks of separation. There were a multitude of times that you thought maybe, just maybe, you were truly never going to see him in the flesh ever again, and so it takes everything in you to not touch him, embrace him. After all, you are merely no more than acquaintances, even if he knows the greatest secret that rules your life. One of the very few outside of your family to learn and understand the reality of you.
Yet already, the connection between you runs so much deeper, layers beneath layers of trust, all based around the promise of returning to him. It fuels the yearning of wishing to learn about every little detail of him, the finer dust that coats his existence, all the more.
The smile has not left his face, his voice splitting the silence. “You came back.”
“Indeed I did,” You reply, almost sheepish in the way that you look down at your feet, the intensity at which he watches you practically unbearable. It hunts beneath skin, seeking answers to questions that you know nothing of.
“Couldn’t get enough of me, hm?” He winks, and you cannot help the laughter that surfaces once more, the playful charm of his tone igniting a pure joy within you that nobody else on the earth has made you feel.
Though before you can reply, Taehyung rolls his shoulders back, golden skin stretching rather nicely over the muscle of his abdominals, pectorals, bringing your laughter to a definitive halt, entranced by the captivating move before he drags his feet over to the sofa tucked in the corner of the living space to slouch down. If he did not have your attention before, he certainly does now with the way that he sits, knees spread apart, hunching himself into his torso with a hand lazily scratching at a bicep, the outline of his dick so plainly evident against his underwear and you are still trying to figure out whether the heat that flushes your cheeks is due to the alcohol or the laughter or your sudden spark of lust, a flame that has never been lit by another. That form of intimacy is too risky for a traveller, for somebody who can barely keep themselves grounded as it is.
But you suppose there is a first for everything, especially with the liquid courage that surges through your veins and draws you towards the couch, taking a tentative seat beside him.
Taehyung, eyes still weighted with the pull of desire, gazes at your thighs, the way your dress has hiked itself up to reveal the smooth flesh further. His fingertips itch to touch you, especially with the naive flicker that skirts your gaze, though instead, he settles for words.
“Where were you? What were you doing?”
His timbre voice heartens the heat that spars within your chest, digs deep into your being. Although his demeanour, the sex that rolls from his skin in seas that skim at your irresolute shores, you presume that he has not a clue of what he is doing to you, what fervency he is drawing beneath your skin. When you barely, in the slightest, move closer to his side, his heavy stare immediately flicks back down to your legs, the tip of his tongue poking at the corner of his mouth.
Keyword – presume.
“On every second Sunday, in the summertime, my family gathers and we have a barbeque.” The words come out too softly, almost hesitant, giving away that your thoughts are far from such a meagre conversation. You try not to look down, rather, fixating on the lovely shape of his damp lips. It proves to be just as irremediable against the effulgent flames consuming you from the inside out. “We eat a lot, and we- Uh. We drink a lot.”
At that, Taehyung smiles in that sunshine kind of way, light pouring into the dimly lit flat and you hope to every entity that such a radiance does not reveal the dark haze that drifts about your gaze, the burn that simmers upon your cheeks.
An infinitely small part of you hopes that it does – that he catches on and sinks his teeth in your throat, predator on prey, hands wandering the land of your body.
Taehyung nudges your knee with his own, and its does more damage to your heart than it should, whisking it up in a carnal whirlwind. The smirk that plays on his lips is absolutely devilish. “I thought something felt a little… Different, about you.”
If anything, your cheeks burn brighter. “How so?”
“You seem a little intoxicated.”
“O-Oh,” is the only thing you manage to stammer before you start giggling, underlying his point in bold. As if he cannot help himself, he too starts to laugh – a deep, sensual tune of a strummed bass, humming around the apartment, entrancing you in its endearment. It is a moment like this, you discover with time, that is one of foreshadowing, the casual way in which you fall into the sound of one another like a check in the box of the many steps to this being something much more, bigger, than the two of you can handle, yet you take it by the reigns without any means. This comfortability, contentment, paving a path to a future you never once thought of, nonetheless considered.
But when Taehyung suddenly grunts in the middle of his laughter, winces, you raise your brows. “Everything okay?”
“Uh,” is all that he mumbles, shifting rather uncomfortably on the couch, strain pulling at his features, thinly veiled by mild embarrassment. “L-Like I said. Didn’t. Um…” And his eyes flitting down to his crotch is all the answer that you need.
All the push that you need to offer.
“Do you want me to help with that?”
Alike he were plainly slapped across the face, he stares at you with widened eyes, and it would almost be comical if not for the burning desire that consumes you entirely, the way that his expression falls into one of delighted, lascivious promise. Almost doubtful, he inclines his chin, a guide to bring you forward, lacing invisible ribbons around your wrists that draw you closer, closer, until you unsteadily slide onto his lap, bare skin to skin, thighs straddling either side of his own.
You feel him as if he has every inch of your body shaped to his own, not merely just your hips weighing down on his lap, his palms squeezing the tops of your thighs, thumbs brushing at the flesh, your own caressing his throat in such a way that his lips part invitingly. There, with the heat of his cock pressed to your thinly clothed centre, you watch one another with curiosity, a question that hangs silently between you, yet flares in iridescent neon. Do you want what I want?
Taehyung, in a movement you deem bold, but one that he knows well with too many women lost in the fabrics of his bedsheets, leans forward and closes his eyes to slits, long eyelashes colliding. When he dusts his lips up your throat, barely kissing, just the gentlest of touches, your bones turn to marble and you find yourself a statue. He halts.
“Have you done this before?”
You shudder when his whisper brushes along your jaw with the movement of his lips, featherlight. Right then and there, intoxicated by the proximity of him, you almost grit your teeth and lie. But Taehyung appears to be a man that sees truths like distress signals, the kind to dig his nails deep into the soils, unearth honesty in the dirt that stains his fingertips. He would exhume candour from your very soul, and so you bite your tongue until it bleeds, because bitter copper often tastes better than veracity.
“N-No. Too dicey.”
A small huff of a chuckle tickles your skin, and to your disdain and his reluctance, he pulls away, nearing only once more to place a delicate kiss upon your flushed cheek before resting your foreheads together. At this distance, you can see the streaks of caramel that coil around his iris, ambivalent in nature. Your heart stirs a frenzy when his broad palms leave your thighs, instead coming up to frame your face.
“Not like this, then.” The firm words circle the curve of your ear, the hint of a covenant underlying his tone, as if to say not yet, but not never.
And, in order to demonstrate his point, a vibration hums at the base of your spine, inching up, up. Your toes and fingertips tingle, lashes fluttering, limbs quivering like a leaf caught in the shivering breeze and he notices – you can tell by the way that his nails seem to dig a little into your skin, a silent demand to stay although you both know that there is no control over such a thing. Taehyung smiles, a small, empathetic twitch of his lips before they move.
“Come back again, okay?”
There is no room for denial.
“I promise.”
When you arrive home, the sky is beginning to blend with the evening, distant darkness looming upon the horizon as the sun progress in its descent. The strung fairy lights in the backyard have flickered to life, stars that glitter in the midway juncture of night and day, casting a soft ambience among the gentle chatter and laughter of your family. Meat sizzles on the barbecue, glasses clinking against the lips of wine bottles, and you rush to grab yourself a glass as a means to calm down from what nearly occurred on the other side of the world, but frail fingers curling around your wrist halt you in your path.
“Where did you go today?”
And the way that your grandfather stares at you with his crinkled, kind eyes is almost like he knows that you went someplace that you are still trying to understand, a place anew that you wish to be invited back to more than once, that becomes a familiarity to your seams. You smile, a hushed secret between the two of you, and the sensation of Taehyung’s lips ghosting along your jaw tingles in just the slightest as you speak.
“Somewhere I think that I am supposed to belong.”
10.06.2017 → V22
Visiting Taehyung on that one fated night was no mistake, no flaw in the system that accidentally projected you too far. For if such a thing were true, you would not be going back there, over and over again, seeing him more often than you do the wilting wildflowers in the meadow, the worn spines of the library paperbacks. His smile becomes a regularity, his voice a constant, his mannerisms and language something that rubs off on your skin over four months of arriving, departing, feeling.
Four months is all that it takes for Taehyung to learn that you absolutely despise tomatoes in their natural form, but adore the taste when combined with sauces, soups, anything but the slimy texture that they take in their solid state. To learn that you are studying a bachelor of science, majoring in physics in order to grasp a deeper understanding about the way your body defies all that is supposed truth and fact. To learn that your grandfather has played a greater role in your life than your parents in the sense that neither of them honed the traveller gene, so he was the one to teach you all of the ropes, the necessities, the what to and to not dos. To learn that your friends are treasures, few in number, but enough to keep you content, to understand and trust the reason why you suddenly run out of the club and into the shadows of the alley, or spend longer than necessary in the change rooms, because if anyone were to bend down and look beneath the door, your feet would be nowhere to be seen. To learn that your favourite colour is blood orange and the time of day that you enjoy most is cloudy sunsets on the foreshore, where salt sticks to the roof of your mouth and the waves make love to the sand, the sun upon the horizon turning the clouds into mountains of violet, tangerine, rouge pink, reflecting onto the surface of the sea in an ethereal mirror of the sky. To learn that your time as a high school student was hell as a result of your curse, the slips and leaps occurring so often when you first started having them at the age of fourteen that you almost did not graduate, always running out in the middle of tests or not even arriving at school in the first place. To learn that, like him, you worked your absolute ass off to get where you are now in your life, college being a lot easier to maintain due to the spaced out attendance, the fact that you are older now, more experienced, able to understand.
Four months is all that it takes for you to learn that Taehyung started his career in a seven-member boy band that he is still close with, considers as brothers, to this very day. To learn that he adores children and all kinds of animals, anything, really, that he can hold and cuddle to his chest. To learn that he understands and speaks English so well because he lived in Canada for two years and, in fact, only moved back home to Seoul at the start of last year. To learn that although his sociable personality on television, he prefers to keep to himself, enjoys sitting out on his balcony with the plants and a light novel over spending time in the limelight. To learn that his singing voice is quite possibly the most beautiful thing you have ever had the blessing of hearing, like rivers of honey trickling across your skin, the goosebumps that raise from crackling firewood, humming deep into the core of your being, nestling into your bones and heart to stay for good. To learn that he frequently has nightmares that have him waking up screaming and breaking out in a cold sweat, that give him bruises beneath his eyes in a shade of lavender, the worse ones often forming a mild rash on his left wrist. To learn that he cannot, for the life of him, get along with people fuelled by arrogance, who cannot be open-minded to the world and what is occurring around them, refuse to embrace that there is so much more out there, not only on Earth, but in the entire galaxy that we have not a clue of.
The two of you learn and grow from one another, watering your leaves in newfound knowledge about your individual cultures and lifestyles. He shows you the proper way to hold a pair of chopsticks, while you teach him the correct way to use cutlery (you have not a clue of how he was doing it wrong the entire time while he was living in Canada, but apparently, he was never phased by it). He teaches you Korean phrases – he adores when you point out random items in his apartment and say “chaegjang” (bookcase) or “chimdae”(bed) – while you help refine his skill in your own native tongue, arriving one day to find he has bought an English dictionary and thesaurus for both of you to go through. You even play beer pong with just the two of you at his dining table, using a watered down beer that tastes like dirt, but after he sinks the ball into your third cup, you decide the flavour is sweeter when you share it with him.
Neither of you mention the night where your intoxicated fingers curled into the front of his shirt, his lustrous palms squeezing the muscle of your thighs and eliciting such a sensation within you that even to this day, you barely know how either of you managed to control yourselves. Whether the lack of addressing the matter is out of embarrassment, uncertainty, modesty, you are unsure. But it is a faraway thought, something that only shows its face when you are alone, late at night, thinking of a pair of lips that shape into a grin that resembles a box of sunlight.
By the third month, you are returning to him on a weekly basis, starting to count your trips to the other side of the world on the notepad that sits beside his desk calendar. One strike, one arrival. Twenty-one in total.
But when you sit on the balcony of his apartment on the morning of your twenty-second visit, relaxed against the white metal of an intricately designed chair made for gardens – though Taehyung has never really been one to follow the stereotypical constructs of general living – ankles crossed and the breeze tickling your cheeks, you peel back a layer of Taehyung that reveals more of the shadowed truth tucked beneath. Although he is seemingly an open book, the sentences are scrawled in a never-ending labyrinth and you are still running endless sprints to reach the centre.
Sometimes, you think he may never let you make it.
The foliage pressed up against the railing lessens the intensity of the sunlight, the final threads of spring evident in the flowers that blossom from their respective pot plants, the leaves of the curling vines a brilliant shade of green. A complete juxtaposition to home, where emerald is near its end, falling dead to be crunched beneath the soles of feet on footpaths, leaving the trees to be skeletons, stark and bare. Tea steams between your palms in a dainty porcelain cup, and it is one of the many things in life that you have learned Taehyung greatly indulges in. It is a beautiful day, not too warm, nor too chilly, perfect for you to arrive in a thin, long-sleeved floral dress that makes Taehyung grin all the brighter when you surprise him by suddenly barrelling into the small dining table, feet still tingling.
Although the professional wear that you met him in, you come to discover that he has a preference for casual, slack clothing in the form of loose canvas shirts and baggy trousers. If anything, it makes him more handsome, a natural state of his that you adore, and that you realise with time, you are the only one who gets to see. It is easy for the idol image to slip away and dissolve into thin air when his celebrity status does not reach your local news, the hot gossip in the magazines, only sighted in a rare episode of this or that, which airs on the international channel. In your eyes, he is not the famous Kim Taehyung, even if he remains to be a brilliant star that lights up your navy, midnight skies.
You keep your eyes trained on the small sparrow that flits about the gutters of the building on the opposite side of the street, swallowing your nerves. Hesitancy clings to your tongue, making you cringe when you speak.
“Can I ask you something?”
Taehyung sniffs, and you try to remain casual, taking another sip of the delightful, lukewarm liquid. Today, it is ginger. “Don’t tell me you want to make hoeddeokagain?”
Almost choking on your tea, you sputter into the cup. “No, oh my god. Definitely no.”
The both of you would have thought making pancakes was an easy task, except you drastically proved yourselves wrong last month by accidentally confusing the salt to be the pot of sugar, and ultimately leaving thehoeddeok to burn near black on the griddle after becoming distracted by a song on the radio that Taehyung insisted – although he always says it was you, in fact – that you both dance to. No amount of cinnamon and honey could have saved such a disaster.
“Tell me, then. I am, as you Westerners say, all ears.”
Although you laugh, the nerves start to resurface, demanding to be known. So the only thing you can possibly do is command to his word – tell him.
“Don’t get me wrong when I say that I adore your apartment–” You tug at a thread that hangs loose at the hem of your dress, chewing the inside of your cheek– “But I thought, with your fame, that you would be walking on marble floors and have a mansion entrance guarded by real life tigers, y’know?”
Bringing a standstill to your fretting fingers, his own curl around your knuckles, and when you stray your eyes from the small bird that still flutters about, you discover that he is not looking at you. A sigh silently shudders from between your lips.
“So I guess what I am saying is… Why don’t you? Why do you prefer it here?”
Stretches of silence pass, an unnerving quiet made less tense by the commotion of the street below, the gentle singing of the birds. Your only relief is found in the matter that he still holds your hand, thumb grazing over the tops of your knuckles.
“I think,” Taehyung begins, unravelling your balled up fist so he can study your nails, chipped and imperfect. “I don’t live in a place like that because that’s what everyone expects. They all… Envisage me owning a great, luxurious home in Gangnam-gu, a place so large that it holds more space than life.” As if deeply entranced by the design of your cracked cuticles, he inspects them closer, voice lowering to a murmur. “So I live here because it is quiet and homely. Rarely anybody finds me, and heavy lawsuits get involved if my personal address is publicly spread, which nobody can afford to face since I have not wasted all of that money on granite countertops and– Hold on, real tigers? What kind of cruel person do you think I am?”
When he speaks the final sentence with a cheeky smirk, your stiff posture relaxes into a gentle chuckle, and he at long last looks up at you, wanting to catch sight of your smile, luminescent in the golden rays of the sun that filter through the foliage. His answer deems your suspicions correct, since his apartment is just so helplessly and wholeheartedly Taehyung in its homing of unusual figurines and sculptures that he attains on his adventures to markets, in the furniture from the cream couch to the emerald gramophone that ceases to match anything else in the room, in its cosiness and love that tucks between the floorboards and seeps through the wall plaster. You could see his television personality residing in an impressive manor – but Taehyung, the genuine, real man that you have grown to know and understand, blends with his apartment as if he were made of the coasters stacked upon on the coffee table and the magnets that tack loose leaflets and notes to the fridge.
“True, this place is very you,” You mumble, noticing how much larger, longer his fingers are that wrap around your own. He has made a habit out of holding your hand, something that, at first, had rose petals dusting your cheeks until it became so normal that you barely think twice about it. “I think that may be why I like it so much.”
“That’s good,” Taehyung nods, the smile only faint on the corners of his lips now. “I don’t want people to befriend me, love me, because of my fame.”
The way the words casually fall from his tongue is like an afterthought, yet the true meaning suddenly chills you to the bone, heavy lead that weighs down on your heart out of sympathy. It truly must be so difficult to be in such a situation, never knowing if the man at that bar buys you a drink out of friendliness or out of hopes for a much greater repayment, or if the girl that scrawls her number on your palm has interest or dollar signs shining in her eyes. The pair of you, although experiencing drastically polar opposite circumstances, are more alike than you both realise – isolated by matters that neither of you can help, living in a world viewed through a kaleidoscope, rather than the clear lenses of others. Like a moth to a flame, it selfishly draws you closer to him because he understands, and nobody that you have met outside of your family has sat in the same perspective as you before.
The air suddenly feels too thick, an uncomfortable tension settling on your skin until you decidedly shrug it off. “Well, I guess it’s not every day that you get so lucky to have a random girl who has not a clue of your social status suddenly appear in your apartment, wearing your clothes.”
“More like an incredibly cute girl.”
Although his lungs produce the language of his native tongue, you manage to grab onto one of the words, fluttering warmth in your chest and probably on your cheeks as well – but Taehyung is long used to your bashful blushing. He finds it absolutely endearing.
Raising a brow at him, you playfully dig your nails into the skin of his palm. “Did you just call me cute?”
He winces at that sharp stabs and then grins like a wolf.
“Maybe your Korean is worse than we thought.”
29.09.2017 → V53
If this is what falling in love feels like, then you have leapt from the edge of that cliff, your body weightless in the stretches of air that separate you from the oceans below, never reaching the waves, an eternal drop as the distance grows greater and greater.
It was never really something that you ever considered. Love was a faraway land that your feet never reached, at least, not until you learned to control their sporadic ways of travelling. So when you began to feel butterfly wings stir within your chest from the day Taehyung started to embrace you upon your arrival, sweeping you into his arms and murmuring a gentle what took you so long? into the strands of your hair, you began to figure that maybe, on a feeble limb of hope, he may possibly feel the same way about you too.
Arriving today is much the same, except your seam glides you right into the bathroom, bracing your palms on the vanity before you manage to slip on the wet tiles. Droplets of perspiration still stream down the glass of the shower, and you urgently tame your mind to not think about Taehyung and his golden skin, glistening from the cold water that barely manages to soothe the humidity of Seoul, even near the end of summer. It is only then that you reconcile the thick coat that you wear, groaning and desperately trying to roll the fabric off of your already sweating skin, trying not to think too hard about the plastic bags overflowing with food and house supplies that you had just abandoned in the parking lot of the supermarket back where morning was still rising.
“You’re not a burglar, right?”
At his distant shout, you huff and roll your eyes before escorting yourself out of the bathroom, draping your coat over his desk chair and then poking your head into the living space. The familiar pang of lightheadedness overwhelms you at the sight of him, as usual, golden hair already dry and slightly curling in the heat, a loose white shirt draping from his shoulders, denim blue shorts slack on his hips. When he spots you, the dazzling box grin is revealed, completely blinding you before he is making his way over, enveloping your smaller frame into his body and giving you a tight squeeze that feels better than home.
Taehyung rocks you side to side, humour lilting his tone. “What took you so long?”
“It has only been two days,” You mildly comment, though you understand. Even an hour without him is starting to feel like years have passed.
Chuckling, Taehyung leans back to look down at you, mirth swallowing his beautiful, dark eyes and you swear that underneath their gaze, you would abide by any of his words. You would murder a small village for him if he asked you to do so while staring at you like that. Speaking figuratively, of course.
“Two days too long,” He chimes, and if anything, his grin spreads wider. “Hey, so I have an idea–“
But suddenly, you can no longer take it, pressing your palms against his chest and pushing yourself away from him. Something akin to worry, concern, glances across his features until you are speaking words that have him absolutely cackling.
“I’m sorry but it is so fucking hot – Oh my god, you were suffocating me. I am going to die from moving from one temperature extremity to the next!”
Through his laughter, the kind that normally fills you with waterfalls elation, Taehyung gasps. “Y-Your face … It’s so hilarious when y-you’re mad.” And then, regaining some of his stability, he wipes at his eyes, trying not to sputter at the way you dramatically fan your face. “There is a dress hanging up next to the coats, go put that on.”
Stumbling out a thank you, your feet cannot carry you to his wardrobe quick enough, instantly finding the white fabric and yanking it from the hanger. Taehyung, still chuckling to himself, returns to the living room for your privacy while you change, not even having the chance to notice how pretty the garment is until you have urgently peeled off your jeans and sweater and adorned the material on your figure. He had taken to buying you clothes within a month of you arriving, realising that your seasons were completely opposite, so you would either arrive boiling hot or freezing your toes off. Spring and autumn are a period of peace that accustom to your not too heavy, but not too light selection of fashion. Tying your hair up into a loose bun, you heave a sigh of exasperation at how ridiculously humid the place feels, almost missing the ice that clings to the air back home before Taehyung calls out are you ready?
Placing your clothes with the coat, you drag your feet out of the bedroom, collapsing onto the cream sofa beside Taehyung. He hands you a glass of water after appreciatively eyeing the dress he picked out and you gulp it down within three seconds, not missing the impressed expression that holds his features before they soften into humble excitement.
“So, my plan.” He waggles his eyebrows, and you raise your own to the ceiling as a means to let him continue on. “I know we haven’t tried it yet, and I know you’re concerned about doing so. But I was kind of wondering if, um–“ The hesitancy that skirts his voice has you unnerved, wondering what he could possibly be thinking of until– “You want to come outside to the markets with me?”
Oh.
Taehyung was right, the idea of leaving his flat over the past seven months was a concept that had restless fear knotting in your stomach. You itched to see the outside world of his city, yet it was too risky, too troublesome with your situation of being the living embodiment of a spontaneous disappearing act, unassisted by the fact that he has a face known by the majority of the South Korean population, which will garner even a greater crowd of attention that you most certainly do not need.
“I mean you don’t have to,” He quickly says after your silent pause, rubbing the back of his neck and pulling a face. “But it’s dark out, so if anything were to, uh, happen – nobody would really see? Actually, forget it. I’m sorry, it is such a stupid idea–“
“Like a date?”
Your abrupt words make his jaw go slack, gaping at you in sheer surprise before he smacks his lips shut. A tiny, delighted smirk forms soon after. “If you want it to be, I guess?”
“Okay, let’s go then,” You shrug with a smile, trying to be indifferent, but your fingers quiver and shake, not with the need to escape but with the desperation to be right here, right now, about to experience this with him.
And you are not sure if he notices the tremble of your knuckles, but he takes your hands anyway, squeezing them reassuringly with a grin that sears light and adoration through your heart, repeating your words.
“Let’s go.”
Seoul, you discover, is breathtakingly beautiful.
The view that you had from Taehyung’s apartment never really did the city any justice. Truly, it displayed how busy the streets could get, how lively the stalls that lined the road once a month could become, but viewing the scenery from above could never entirely compare to the feeling of being immersed within it.
The air is much better outside, not as dense, cramped like it was within the apartment. You feel like you can truly breathe through the summer heat out here, exhilaration pumping through your veins as Taehyung takes you through the apartment building, holding your hand once you get into the elevator and never letting it go, not even when you reach the markets that create volume and a warm ambience down by the Han River. As a means to distort his identity, he wears a black cotton face mask that you decide suits him, makes his large, almond eyes all the more expressive as he chatters about each stall, teaches you about the ingredients in the many delicious foods, delights when you try on the traditional hanbok with a skirt in a beautiful shade of rose. It matches your cheeks, he idly comments, and as if to prove his point, they flush all the more fiercely.
After dining on kogi mandu, the most delicious dumplings to have ever graced your tastebuds, the pair of you simply stroll along, enjoying the amiable atmosphere, interlaced hands swinging between you. A few curious glances are made in your general direction at the man who, although his mask, still attains an extraordinarily attractive quality about him, that most likely rises a question of familiarity within their thoughts, but they do not make any comment, no means to interrupt your ‘date’.
When the rows of stalls start to thin out, Taehyung gently squeezes your hand, voice muffled by the mask, yet you can see the smile in his eyes. “So, what do you think?”
“It’s phenomenal,” You murmur, eyes wandering around the vibrant atmosphere, mouth watering at the delicious concoction of street market flavours and aromas. “I am falling in love with it, I may just have to pack up my stuff and move here.”
“I would like that,” He hums, nudging at your shoulder and erupting a fresh wave of joy within you, learning that he adores your presence just as much as you do with his own. But then, he starts to guide you closer to the river, seating you both at a park bench that looms in solitude within the pale light of the moon, the glowing edge of the markets. “My parents would always bring me here as a child. There was a Japanese vendor back then, so we would buy takoyaki and eat it by the river – me, with my banana milk, and my parents with their tiny glasses soju. It was long before I started auditioning for entertainment companies, sometimes I wonder where I would be if I had never received the encouragement from them to do so.”
The way that Taehyung talks about his parents is so heartwarming, fond, that you cannot help but ask him. “Do they still live in the city?”
And like the flick of a switch, his eyes harden to ice, and you feel regret suddenly drop like lead into your stomach. The kind of uncertain fear that happens when you think you are close with someone, but cross an invisible barrier that you had not a clue they put up between you.
“No, they don’t,” are the only words that Taehyung mutters, glassed eyes distantly watching the moonlight shimmer on the surface of the river.
In a moment of bravery, biting your nerves at the jugul
Genre:Serial Killer AU so the warnings are pretty obvious.
Count: 1,932 words.
Kim Taehyung is a soul who takes the utmost delight in the simplest aspects of everyday life.
The way that a breeze curls its airy fingers beneath dying leaves, lifting them from the side road gutters for the briefest of moments, providing them a final dance before settling them back into their bitumen graves. How steam rises from the lip of a mug, curling against the setting of an ambient cafe, disturbed in its twirl by the passing of a child scrambling to their impatient mother or a waitress briskly strutting to their next table. The headlights that beam on a lone road, washing yellow luminescence over structures that are merely nothing more than distorted shadows when succumbed to the darkness, revealing them to be a postbox, a stray cat, a couple stumbling home on drunken soles.
How easily a knife can puncture pearl smooth skin, as effortless as easing a blade through softened butter, creating streams of crimson that texture the lines of his palms for days in beautiful mosaics of varying intensity, in the sole vivacity of life itself.
Taehyung delights in that the absolute most.
The highway is deep blue tonight. He hates such a colour, in all of its placid depth, its calm coolness. It chills him to the very bone, icy and cruel with its teeth sinking deep into his flesh in an unpleasant bite. Nothing alike to the warmth of red, crackling flames that ignite his heart, smoothing over the goosebumps that raise mountains along his arms, melding the joints of his knuckles into something gentle, easy.
Taehyung knows that it is time for somebody new. He misses the comfort he finds in vivid rose rivers.
Red is his signature. No other colour on the spectrum more lovely than the endless shades of ruby, scarlet, cherry, merlot. The Red Runner – it highlighted newspaper headlines, defined his articulate style of painting each of his victims in the marrow of their existence. Society thought it disgusting, cruel, but he knew they saw the irony, the juxtaposition of inverting what flows through their hearts, what gives them the ability to survive being exhibited in the most wonderful of masterpieces on the surface of their skin rather than being hidden in all of its beauty underneath.
Murder and blood coexist like jam and cream. Compliments to one another, vivacious, the balance between life and death. Taehyung adores such simple harmony.
He finds her at 12:08AM with battered sneakers, a stuck out thumb on the same desolate road he has been driving for hours in quiet contemplation, trying not to think too hard about the blue that consumes his vehicle in abhorrent seas. The static of the radio has only just sufficed to calm his twitching nerves, along with the occasional thump in his boot when a tyre dips in a pothole, releasing the tame scent of iron and salt, of fresh rotting. He admits he dislikes the stench, but anything is better than the taste of blue.
Taehyung eases his foot on the brake when her figure forms in the spotlight of his high beam, dimming it to a neutral glare when he notices her shielding a palm against her eyes, a face that is oddly familiar in the stark contrast of bright light against shadows. A smile flickers before she steps out of the spotlight that he shines upon her, becoming one with the moving darkness until the passenger door is clicking open, the paleness of the interior bulb creating a glow that fleshes out her expression – the slope of a nose, the curve of pink lips, the recognition settling deep within his being but he cannot, for the life of him, remember where he may have known her, long foreign to human connection, relationships. She was wedged in a past endowed in silks of pearl white.
“Mind if I catch a ride?” She hums, but her voice, although a sweet tune, holds no familiar ring to his ears. When his gaze flicks down to her sweater, he notices it is a thick navy ocean. Hideous.
She will most definitely do.
Taehyung, with his award winning smile, lights up the confined space when he reveals his teeth in a grin that hides murder between the cracks. “Sure, hop on in! Where are you headed?”
“The next city over, but if you’re not travelling that far, any distance further than walking from here will do,” She beams right back at him, absolutely delighted, folding her limbs into the passenger seat as the door swings shut. He waits for her to buckle in before he revs the engine, turning back into the lifeless lane and continuing on in the aimless direction he had been travelling until it was officially labelled the next city over.
He knows they will barely make it out of this one before he can stop himself.
“Perfect, that is precisely where I am going,” Lies taste kind on his tongue, tangling with ease through the sentences he voices. He is so at home with such deceptions that they feel like the truth. “It is quite a drive, so we may as well become acquainted. My name is Jinyoung.”
“Y/N,” The girl answers immediately, and alongside her voice, the name holds no familiar presence within his memory. Yet her appearance haunts him like the ghosts he has pulled from carcases, drawn from teeth and bone. An itch that burns somewhere he cannot scratch.
“That’s a pretty name,” He compliments nonchalantly, not missing the roses that graze her cheeks. “What is a young girl like you doing out this late at night, nonetheless hitchhiking? It’s a dangerous world, nowadays.”
Her fingers, as if on instinct, curl tighter into the canvas knapsack that lays mostly limp on her lap. She has not packed much, it seems. Her belongings will be easy to discard of. “A dangerous world belonged in my apartment with my boy– No. Ex-boyfriend now, I guess.”
“Ah, I see,” Taehyung hums, nodding, fixated on black horizon. “You can never trust men. They are wicked evil.”
“Indeed they are, Kim Taehyung.”
For an instant, he does not notice the three syllables he has honed since birth, a name he has not spoken to her laced in a knot on the tip of her tongue. But by the time it has registered, a flashing lightbulb, no, a beacon of warning flaring in vicious red, he can already taste the cold circumference of metal kissing his temple.
“I never thought you were one to pick up lonely girls on highways. Have you become that desperate?”
He sees her now, dusty newspaper clippings crumpled in the faraway corners of his mind, once nothing to be concerned with but now the greatest of dangers. Her familiarity was in crowds, was in the stranger that accidentally knocked his elbow on the street and mumbled an apology, was in the girl waiting in line behind him at that cafe, watching on from the corner of a crossroad, curiously gazing from across a sunlit park.
But he had traversed entire lands.
She had followed him everywhere, it seemed. For weeks, months.
A shadow of blue that he never once paid mind to because such a colour was distasteful. And now it will have him dead.
“I have been watching you for a very long time,” She murmurs, caressing the edge of his jaw with the cold mouth of the gun, and he remains motionless. “Observing your every movement, analysing your methods. I know that the missing girl from last Tuesday is in pieces within this car trunk, I can smell her.”
Taehyung swallows, frowning. He is not sure if what he can feel in his chest is fear, but it sure as hell crushes his lungs like two large fists, squeezing tight. “How did you know I would pick you up?”
“Well, I guess I am just lucky. Pull over, Taehyung.” And he easily abides her command, throat dry, palms slipping against the leather of the steering wheel. “Get out of the car. Don’t consider disobeying, because either way, I will shoot you dead without any hesitation. We are both murderers, you see.”
Taehyung takes his time unbuckling, stepping out of the car, and she patiently awaits him, the barrel never misdirecting its aim from the places on his body that matter most. They walk a slow pace into the shadows, and it is truly a silent night, no other headlights washing over their spectacle. Just pure darkness, watching on with anticipation.
“What’s your motive?” He bluntly stalls.
“To kill those who kill,” She grins, and it is terribly beautiful. “Besides, I was offered a bounty on your head. No hard feelings, I just need to pay my rent in time.”
He could fight her, lunge when she least expects. But no, no she held skill in the firm set of her jaw, the confident curl of her knuckle around the trigger. She was experienced, just like he, a cold blooded killer that knew him in refined dot points that held elusive detail, whereas, for him, she was merely a face and a gun. A death sentence.
It is pointless, but he tries anyway.
Gunfire, he decides, sounds frightening. Especially when it lodges in a silver bullet right beside his heart, feeling anything but warm, a dagger of ice. Horrendously blue.
Taehyung meets the bitumen in a sickening crunch, a broken nose and scraped kneecaps, falling face first with no support, just a brutal slam that he hardly feels because he is being swallowed by the blue that seeps out of the bullet. It suffocates him, screaming in his ears, so loud, that he barely hears her stepping towards him, can only just feel her fingers digging into his shoulder to turn him onto his back. The stars pinwheel around her placid expression, rather beautiful, he thinks. A fine sight to see before he dies.
“Can you feel that? The slowing of your heart?” She whispers, placing her palm gently against his chest, and it feels like it belongs there. Her gaze remains on his eyes, glassing with every passing second. “It is like a tiny bird, fluttering in its precious nest of bones. So frail and desperate, wishing to continue on. You have murdered so many flightless beings.”
His throat feels like cotton, tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth. A vignette of unconsciousness threatens the corners of his vision, framing the cock of her head, the inquisitive look in her eyes as she watches him fade beneath her fingertips. She appears almost childlike in her form of innocence, a virgin to his death. Everyone looks different when they die, as life slips away like oil on a smooth surface, but always, always, they appear so beautiful. Taehyung has no qualms that he looks precisely the same, he can see it reflected in her wondrous eyes.
“Life is beautiful, it is colourful, a rainbow of hues that are as divine in their individual shades than they are in side by side unity.” She is nothing but a blur now in sight, though her voice carries him through the frosted glass of his vision. “But you, Kim Taehyung, were obsessive. Red, albeit lovely, is merely a speck in the colour wheel of this world. You let it consume you, control you, and now here you lay.”
Taehyung smiles, his eyes droop close. And for the first, the last time, in his life, he decides that blue is maybe not so bad after all.
*Bonus chapter - Flashback alert* This takes place before chapter 1 (and after chapter 8.5 ‘envy’). There’s a lot of negative emotions in this one so proceed with caution ~ 3K words
“There’s an error,” Yoongi says, frowning at you from his desk in his private office. It ticks your nerves, you don’t have time for his usual bickering today.
“No I didn’t,” you snap, turning away with a roll to your eyes but he grabs your hand gently, coming to stand next to you as he leans you against the desk as if that would brace you somehow.
“The margins are 1.5, for pink and pink they have to be 1.25,” he tries to lighten the mood by scrunching his nose similar to the maknae and while you found it adorable the implication of his words had you reeling.
“I made a mistake?” Your voice is small but Yoongi can hear the sinking feeling in your chest through it. You skimmed the formatting instructions for this company very briefly, a jaded feeling running through your veins when you were given the project, images of Jungkook and Jin with the Pink and Pink CEO running through your mind. But that was no excuse for not doing your job properly.
Boys are so stupid. But then again, she’s so silly. If I didn’t like her I would lecture her about her self-image issues like the big fucking hypocrite I am! But all those negative thoughts keep piling up and the pressure is increasing, alongside with the existence of Susan because if I get my hands on that bitch I will wipe those luxurious floors with her face. Women should not hate on other women, especially because of men. I hate how she acts like YN is the one seeking them out. The CEOs follow after her like lost puppies and suddenly it’s YN’s fault that the boys don’t pay attention to Susan. UGH, so annoying.
The jealousy… jealousy… poor baby. I wonder how the boys would react if they saw her ex… Omg I’m a sadist that would be so funny. I can see the steam coming out of their ears *cackles* oblivious little duckling, so cute and so sad. I can’t decide.
I might have to *coughs* admit that the CEOs’s worry is cute. *coughs and makes a weird face - must be the pain from the previous chapter when she was choking on a dick so big I felt it - swallows hard* oh wow i could not have written anything weirder… I feel like I’m challenging myself and If I don’t fuck off this reblog will take a w h i l e
So they’re sweet and have to communicate *blushes in hypocrite* with my little duckling to make them happy and horny. Da boom tss.
I love this. I love this a lot. Brilliant work by Brilliant Blue
✿ : The one where your best friend of years and love of your life is getting married and wants you to be the maid of honor. Luckily for you, the best man is not exactly happy either.
¼ of the amazing quartet, i will do the other 3 in due time! i love my queen, i live for her werewolf au, plus there’s always the right mix of angst, fluff, and smut that is always chefs kiss… i super like that although her male characters are so obviously strong they are super soft too then it comes to female leads… and and and theres sort of redemption always for characters like Yoongi in Third Wheeling & Jimin in Bird Cage.
below are my fave fics from this author, but please do go ahead and browse all her works as they are all equally beautiful.
I Waited for You - just because its a Kim Seokjin fic and he’s an alpha!!! maybe i have not explored tumblr properly but i have come across very few Alpha Seokjin stories.
Welcome to Seoul Land - again, just because its a Kim Namjoon fic and werewolf au. my queen did not disappoint! Namjoon is so soft, ima cry…
When it Rain it Pours - i was swooning, a soft Namjoon for a roommate turned lovers…
What’s up Doc - ooohhhhh! soft Yoongi and i love the part where they whispers while waiting for test results, its so cute i swear! but, don’t be fooled coz we are talking about the queen here so the smut is top tier as per usual.
Snowed In&Live, Laugh, Love - bestfriends to lovers stories featuring our eternal sunshine Hoseok. imagine Hoseok telling his girlfriend that his best friend means the most to him in the world!!! if that is not in love i dont know what.. but, Hoseok in our queens story is amazing.
Siver & Blue - alpha Taehyung with lots of smuts, what else can you ask for?
> content/warnings : mature language, explicit sexual content (fingering (f), unprotected penetrative sex -protect yourselves kids!), mentions of sexual acts, oral kink, toxic dynamic (they’re so mean to eo, idek why), e2l, angry sex, PINNING, nude, light dubconsent (they never verbalize anything so i thought i should add this)
Hi, everyone! As you all know, I’m building this fic as we go, based on your input, so I wanted to share some quick AMOMK updates that I’m really excited about! I’ve numbered them, so if there ones in the future, you can follow along!
THE STARTER PACKS
Have you seen random posts and thought, “What isthis???”
Well,A Map of Mrs. Kims is a project that I started last year based on this beautiful anon ask! That ask began a short story that I wrote about Jin, Namjoon, and Taehyung, who are brothers visiting their father, Jihu/Mr. Kim, and mother, Bongseon/Mrs. Kim for their usual weekly, Sunday dinner. And every week, during their usual Sunday dinner, Mrs. Kim brings out her map, a list and infographic of the top bachelorettes in the city that have gone through her rigorous application process to date one of the Kim brothers! Mrs. Kim’s main goal is to find three Mrs. Kims of their very own — but Jin, Namjoon, and Tae have other plans!
Over the last year, that short story has grown into an entire universe, filled with over 300 drabbles and asks (wild, wild), a planned longfic that will be updated monthly throughout 2022 (apologies for already being behind lol), the birth of two apparently extremelystrong ships (Bongseon x Jihu, and Sad Girl x Namjoon!), the election of Mayor Paint & Simp Anon (who is also in the running), a website that is currently being beta tested , and even a potential spin-off (Yoongi / Work Wife Yoongles is somewhere out there, sweating)???
The Official Sad Girl Starter Pack: more info on what a Sad Girl is (i.e., the trope/characterization, its origins in media, and its relevance to AMOMK), plus the main drabbles to give you backstory!
THE MAP
Check out Bongseon’s map masterpost as we go to get more details about each bachelorette, as well as Bongseon’s notes about them! (It’ll always be kept under the READ MORE / KEEP READING cut if you want to avoid spoilers!) Thanks @shyfoxarbiter16 for the suggestion, way back when we first started this journey!
THE STORY
I experimented with Bachelorette drabbles for the first section, NORTH, but to simplify, the dates are now being folded into the chapters! I talk about why I’m doing this here!
Chapter 02 has been slightly rewritten to incorporate this changes, but nothing has really structurally changed other than POV. And the Bachelorette drabble is now in the Extras section of the fic masterpost. If there’s inspiration or a strong demand for Y/N POV drabbles in each section, I’ll be happy to throw some treats as we go!
I am writing this story because it’s a really fun premise, and I’m seemingly infinitely inspired by this world, but most of all, it’s my gift to ARMY — this fanfiction bubble has been incredibly gracious and wonderful to me, and you all are so, so creative with your headcanons that you contribute so frequently, and with such care, love, and depth!
You’ve shared everything, from fodder, to questions, to critiques, to deeply personal stories that have such a humbling and celebrated thread of humanity through them. I know I say this every time, but any time you reach out to tell me that something the boys did reminds you of their AMOMK characterizations, or when something in your own lives makes you think about the Kims, my heart absolutely soars.
Thanks for sharing, and for being so down to come along with me on this experiment! All of these links will also be updated on the fic masterpost shortly! Eager to hear what you think — always so happy whenever you stop by the AMOMK universe!
• Here are some of my favourite Taehyung fics. Go through these recs and find something to nourish yourself with. Show your support for these talented authors by leaving a comment and sharing feedback on their works. For posting their fics on the internet, each and every author listed here deserves a big warm hug. Thank you to each and every one of these authors for their efforts, we really appreciate your content •
summary: Bright. Sunny. Easy. Amazing. Spontaneous. That’s how life was when you had Taehyung. That’s how life was when you had the most amazing boy in your grasp. That’s how it was when you were in love, and you were loved back. Dull. Dreary. Colorless. Dismal. That’s how life is now. That’s how life is now that Taehyung isn’t here anymore. That’s how it is now that everything is ruined. Taehyung doesn’t love you anymore.
a/n: i wrote this in an hour and it’s kinda shitty enjoy - teri
To be fair, you always knew that Taehyung would do anything to achieve his dream. You knew that no matter how much he loved someone, his dreams always came first. You first met before BTS debuted, but now that they’re making it big, he chose them over you.
Taehyung would tell you that BTS is his dream, but you’re there also. You’re his dream, too. However, since he chose the music over you, you’re not sure how true the latter is.
It was a Sunday, the boys always had Sundays off to spend with friends or family or just to relax. You always looked forward to Sundays, the one day you could be with Taehyung without any complications. He would come home early in the morning, and you’d be waiting with open arms and a warm breakfast in the kitchen. The Sunday everything went wrong, though, he didn’t come home early in the morning. He called you around 10, telling you that he’d be home soon, and that he needed to talk to you about something. You were worried, being with Taehyung was always so easy and effortless and he usually left butterflies in your stomach but now all he left was anxiety and dread.
He opened the door half an hour after he called you, and you walked down the stairs quickly, taking his bag from him to set it on the ground and hug him, like you usually did. You wrapped your arms around him, but were met with nothing in return. “What’s going on, Tae?”
He sighed, motioning for you to sit on the couch. He wanted you to be sitting when he told you this. “Y/N, I want you to know something.”
You were now terrified. Taehyung couldn’t even look you in the eyes, it’s as if he was too scared to meet your gaze. He was never like this, you thought to yourself. “Okay, tell me.”
“No, I need you to know this.” He sighed, finally meeting his eyes with yours as he sat on the ottoman in front of you. “I needyou to know that you didn’t do anything wrong. I need you to know that this is all me, Y/N.”
You didn’t need him to continue. In fact, it was the last thing you wanted. You already knew what he was going to say. Though you knew what he was going to say before he said it, it didn’t lessen the blow or make it hurt any less. “Please don’t.” You whispered subconsciously. It was a kind of trust you had with him. You’d been together for so long, you didn’t expect anything like this. “Don’t say it, please.”
Taehyung could hear the somber in your voice, he could tell that you were close to tears. That in turn made him just as upset. He hated that he had to do this. “I think that we should break up.”
The words hurt even more than you thought they would. You didn’t think it was real, it didn’t feel real. It felt like you were in a nightmare. Wake up, wake up, wake up, you told yourself. You clenched your eyes shut, trapping the tears behind your lids. “Tae,” You started, tears escaping when you opened them. “Why are you doing this?”
Taehyung didn’t think of this part. He choked back sobs as he got up from his seat, grabbing the bag by the door. “I just had to. I’m sorry.” He felt like the biggest moron in all of history. Taehyung /was/ the biggest moron. “I’ll be back later this week to get my stuff.”
And he was gone, and the world was suddenly black and white. The house felt empty, despite all his things still being there. By the end of the night, you were sure you had cried as much as you could. The cushion next to your head was stained with tears and you couldn’t feel anything.
That’s how it stayed for a while.
It was sixteen days before you heard anything from Taehyung. You missed his voice, you missed his touch, you missed the jokes and the silly faces. You missed how genuine he was. You just missed him. He texted you early that morning. The vibration of your phone awoke you at five in the morning.
[5:12AM Taehyung]: Will you be home today?
He called it home. You felt a pang in your heart, but you decided to ignore it.
[5:13AM You]: yeah i’ll be here. are you coming to get your things?
[5:13AM Taehyung]: I’ll be there around noon. Go back to sleep. I didn’t mean to wake you.
You scoffed as you locked your phone. As if he actually cared, you thought to yourself. You sighed. There was no way you’d be getting back to sleep now.
You got up, took a shower, cleaned the house and by the time you got all that done, it was a quarter to noon. As you waited for Taehyung, you turned on the news. The only thing they’d broadcasted was about the breakup and BTS’ future as they get more and more popular. Though it hurt, you had to see Taehyung’s face. You just wanted to know how he was, it didn’t seem appropriate to ask him about his life as he stripped your house of his belongings and left you alone.
The door opened and you were alarmed at first, forgetting that he had a key. Taehyung first noticed you on the couch, same spot you were sitting in when he broke your heart. He saw the TV on, his face currently on the screen. They were discussing the break up. “How can you watch this shit?” He called out.
You didn’t turn around. You thought you might break down again if you did. “I had to live it Tae. Have to. A news broadcast can’t hurt me any more than I already am.” You couldn’t lie, you were trying to make him feel guilty for how he left things. Maybe he could just tell you he hated you and make things a little easier.
“Y/N, I’m sorry.”
“So you’ve said. I left some boxes upstairs if you need them for your things.” You said. You still hadn’t looked at him.
“Can I see you?” Taehyung asked hopefully.
“For what?” You answered, “What does it matter?”
You felt a strong hand on your shoulder, an action that caused you to turn around and meet eyes with the man who’d broken your heart. “What?”
“I didn’t come here to get my stuff, Y/N.” Taehyung started as you got up and finally met him face to face. “I came here for you.”
You stayed silent, just in case this was a dream.
“I didn’t break up with you because I wanted to. Trust me, that’s the last thing I wanted, Y/N.”
“I don’t believe you. Sounds like bullshit to me.”
“I love you. I’m in love with you. I’ve never been more afraid in my entire life. These past few weeks have been hell for me. All I wanted to do was call you and make things right.” He started, tears beginning to leave his eyes. Out of instinct, you brought your hand up to his face to wipe them away. “I… I didn’t leave because I wanted to. The PD scared me. He told me that you’d never want to marry a man who was constantly performing and going on tour. He said you’d never want to settle down with a celebrity. I thought he was right, and it terrified me.”
Tilting your head, you brought another hand to his face to cup his cheek as the tears started to fall again. “I already have settled down with you, Tae. We live together. I don’t care that you’re famous. I know this is what you want, I know that you won’t always be around whenever I want you to, but all I want is for you to be happy. I want you to be happy with me.”
Taehyung wrapped his arms around you and kissed your temple. “Marry me, and I’ll always be happy.”
Summary: Starting a new job is never easy and nerves course through you when you enter your new office. But when everyone is really nice and you enjoy the job, you assume that everything is fine and there was nothing to worry about. That is until you bump into the man that seems to know all about your past, a past that you have been trying so hard to hide.
Pairing: Taehyung x reader
Genre: fluff; angst; smut; enemies to lovers
Word count:27.7k
Authors Note:This took me a hot minute to write, but its finally done! There’s mentions of drinking alcohol and probably very inaccurate descriptions of an assistant editor’s job, so if that’s not your cup of tea then don’t read. Otherwise, I hope you all enjoy :)
Staring up at the building you take a deep breath, in an attempt to steady your nerves. Men in smart suits and women dressed equally as smart walk all around you like a flowing river. None of them taking in your existence. You feel like you’re on an island as the stream of people part around you continuing on their journey. There’s an almost calmness in the rush of people trying to get to work, all of them seemingly working together like a shoal of fish ebbing and flowing. You continue to watch as people break off and enter into the building you are staring at. Heart hammering in your chest, the nerves continue to bubble in your stomach. And it’s only when a man knocks into your shoulder that you are pulled from your trance like state. The man shouts something indecent at you before he is continuing on his journey, obviously seeing the fault of the crash as you, which was probably true as you are just stood in the middle of the pavement. With that thought in mind you attempt to bury your nerves as you push your way through the crowd towards the building’s doors.
“Kim Taehyung. That name makes your skin crawl. Kim Taehyung is your handsome, arrogant co-worker at HAUTE COUTURE, the hottest fashion magazine of today, who seems to get everything you want without as much as having to blink his cute eyes. He took your dream position of head of fashion, he seems to be loved by everyone and he thinks it is okay to shamelessly flirt with you (or anyone else in the office for that matter). When your boss tells the two of you to work together on the Special One-Hundredth Edition of HAUTE COUTURE your biggest nightmare becomes reality.”
Pairing:Taehyung x f.Reader
Genre:e2l!AU, Coworkers!AU, Smut, Angsty Romance
Warnings:This story contains sexually explicit scenes, morally grey characters and slight sexism in the workplace. If you are sensitive to such topics, I advice you read with care.
Wordcount:53,484
a/n:Italic indicates the OC’s thoughts, I kinda tried something new here with my writing style, I hope it isn’t too confusing, do let me know what you think of it.
