➬ Summary | Ever since the day he walked through the front door of your cafe hand in hand with his sweet daughter on one gloomy afternoon in the middle of winter, he had captured your heart without him even knowing it. All the time, you had chosen to stay on the sidelines, watching him mend his broken heart in silence while he teaches his own daughter that it was okay to be a kid despite the pain that they shared. You know you shouldn’t be so infatuated with him or let this feeling go any deeper. Because nothing could prepare you when you are forced to watch him move on, completely unaware that he is about to be breaking your heart into pieces.
↳ Ratings | PG-13,+18 / M for Mature; appropriate warnings will be applied on each chapter whenever necessary.
➥Cross post | AO3 | Inkitt (coming soon!)
➥ Author’s Note | Originally commissioned by @rm4lyf ; I have decided to release this one as a drabble series to present the timeline more appropriately and make the storyline work. Chapters will be posted weekly.
➥ Music Companion (link to playlist)|The LOFT- Glass Walls //Katie - Thinking Bout You // JERO - With you // Code Kunst - O (feat. Lee Hi) // Dxvn. - Drowning // Ja¥en x District - dying ember // Angelicca - Your Only One // GATS & Oh Genius - Lost In You // Adrian Daniel - Nobody
i can’t believe there’s only one more chapter and we’re done. it has been a roller coaster ride of emotion with this fic. brilliantly written! a story of grief, recovery, moving on, and finding new love eventually. Seokjin with a little girl is adorable!
➬ Summary | Ever since the day he walked through the front door of your cafe hand in hand with his sweet daughter on one gloomy afternoon in the middle of winter, he had captured your heart without him even knowing it. All the time, you had chosen to stay on the sidelines, watching him mend his broken heart in silence while he teaches his own daughter that it was okay to be a kid despite the pain that they shared. You know you shouldn’t be so infatuated with him or let this feeling go any deeper. Because nothing could prepare you when you are forced to watch him move on, completely unaware that he is about to be breaking your heart into pieces.
↳ Ratings | PG-13
↳ Warning | involves grief, graphic depiction of tragedy/trauma, graphic depiction of a car accident scene, character death
Looking back, you would sometimes compare your life to the stories that you have read from those romance novels that you have loved so much when you were younger.
You were sixteen when you began to harbour a crush on your brother’s best friend. Both of them had been inseparable since junior high, especially after they both entered the basketball team together, and Aron had always spent a lot of time at your house to allow you to ogle at him at every chance you got.
At first, you had known that it would be impossible for him to reciprocate the feeling that you had for him, and yet you did nothing to stop it when the feeling had developed at some point when you kept on seeing him around. Still, you didn’t think much of it when Aron started spending more time at your house, sometimes stealing his chances to slip away from your brother to be able to see you even if all he did was to tease and joke around with you like an older brother would.
finally finally finally… a look into OC’s past, what a tragedy indeed! No wonder she doesn’t drive and his brother pick her up and drop her off. This just shows that each person has its own healing, healing is not timebound. Each person has their own way of coping up and healing and moving on. For Seokjin its a year, but for OC, no. Up until now she has not opened herself up. Or maybe, it takes the right person? For OC it took Seokjin’s arrival to finally let herself move on and feel something again, while Seokjin it was shorter coz OC was there on the very 1st day.
We are nearing the end, and i wanted so much for them to have their happiness - together or otherwise. They both deserve it.
I can never thank you enough, Dia! this is such an amazing story. I don’t know what you do in your dungeon, but this surpass everything i could ever want or expected. Thank you for not cutting corners. I always tease you about splitting story and about exceeding the word count you yourself has set, but it only shows how dedicated you are to a story.
➬ Summary | Ever since the day he walked through the front door of your cafe hand in hand with his sweet daughter on one gloomy afternoon in the middle of winter, he had captured your heart without him even knowing it. All the time, you had chosen to stay on the sidelines, watching him mend his broken heart in silence while he teaches his own daughter that it was okay to be a kid despite the pain that they shared. You know you shouldn’t be so infatuated with him or let this feeling go any deeper. Because nothing could prepare you when you are forced to watch him move on, completely unaware that he is about to be breaking your heart into pieces.
↳ Ratings | PG-13
↳ Warning | mentions of grief, implied/mention of character’s death
↳ Word count | 5,5k words
↳ Author’s Note | A longer chapter with this one (I’m sorry T^T) and another case of splitting a chapter into two to make things work. Roughly edited, so I might return to fix stuff once the story’s completed. I hope you’ll enjoy this one!
You can no longer remember the last time you found yourself in a moment like this. Surrounded by nothing else but warmth that you just want to embrace it forever and curl inside it to hide away from the painful world and never let go.
You had no idea what to expect when you came back from the back kitchen to find your older brother sitting in Seokjin’s booth. Never once had you ever imagined seeing both men sitting together and having a conversation the way they did, but watching it happening right in front of your eyes felt as if you were witnessing both of your worlds colliding together.
And surprisingly, you didn’t find anything wrong with it at all.
finally! thank goodness for Minhyun! i’ve said it before, i will not fault Seokjin for being blind. he just lost his wife and taking care of theor daughter as well. its too much to be honest.
but, finally! we’re going on a dinner! i am so excited for the next chapters.
and hello??? has anyone noticed how Dia split sweet melody into 2? i am not surprise anymore, really. thank you Dia, its just a testament of how much you work hard for every story you put out.
➬ Summary | Ever since the day he walked through the front door of your cafe hand in hand with his sweet daughter on one gloomy afternoon in the middle of winter, he had captured your heart without him even knowing it. All the time, you had chosen to stay on the sidelines, watching him mend his broken heart in silence while he teaches his own daughter that it was okay to be a kid despite the pain that they shared. You know you shouldn’t be so infatuated with him or let this feeling go any deeper. Because nothing could prepare you when you are forced to watch him move on, completely unaware that he is about to be breaking your heart into pieces.
It takes another two weeks before Minnie joins Seokjin and his daughter as they return to the cafe. This time, it had been Minnie who requested to go before Seokjin even had the chance to arrange for a special visit where they could all come together.
The moment Minnie suggested for them to go after working hours that day, he could already tell that there was something going on. That something wasn’t quite right.
As a matter of fact, he had noticed a lot of changes happening with his girlfriend for quite some time. Especially since she hasn’t been joining them on their hot chocolate and cinnamon bread dates after what had happened on their last visit to your cafe together.
yesssssss!!! finally!!! we’re almost finish (if Dia behaves & does not spend any time at her dungeon we only have 2 chapters, but knowing Dia she might end up having 1-2 extra chapters more, lol). honestly, i super love the development, Seokin finally realizing things and its ok that he took his time really. i admire Minnie, she wasn’t vindictive or angry at all. it takes so much maturity to read the situation for what it is and to let go peacefully. waiting for this fic was so worth it!
➬ Summary | Ever since the day he walked through the front door of your cafe hand in hand with his sweet daughter on one gloomy afternoon in the middle of winter, he had captured your heart without him even knowing it. All the time, you had chosen to stay on the sidelines, watching him mend his broken heart in silence while he teaches his own daughter that it was okay to be a kid despite the pain that they shared. You know you shouldn’t be so infatuated with him or let this feeling go any deeper. Because nothing could prepare you when you are forced to watch him move on, completely unaware that he is about to be breaking your heart into pieces.
Seokjin cannot shake the feeling that he may have gone over his head.
As a father, the only thing that Seokjin has ever wanted was to provide a good life for his daughter. All he ever wanted was to be able to do the best that he could to make sure that his little girl would continue to enjoy her childhood, especially for a child who had been much too young to understand grief the way adults could.
He has kept his chin up and stayed strong for the sake of keeping Soojin happy and teaching her how to be strong, hiding his own wounds while making sure that life will continue the way it should for her to grow up like any other children her age.
He has followed all the steps he had learned as a newly single father, took in everyone’s suggestions and did everything to the T. For everything that he has done, for every choice that he has made, he always made sure that Soojin would always come first.
The first decision that he has ever made for his own benefit was to start a relationship with a younger woman like Minnie.
its not surprising that it took a long time for Seokjin to come to these realizations. He lost his wife and he was grieving, he is not in a good space. Friends have good intentions most of the time, but i think going out on a date when he is not ready muddle his mind a bit, much less start a new relationship. On the other hand, our reader has 3 years to recover, yet she is not done yet. I dont think one can ever fully move on from any kind of loss. But, she is in a much better headspace and i admire her so much for not taking advantage of Seokjin’s situation, you know. I thought she was too late in letting her feelings known but now i realize that she ubderstand what Seokjin is going through coz shes been there before and she knows that he is not ready.
Whenever i read a series of mini series i always get scared coz as much as i want a happy ending i know that an author can go the way of realism, and sometimes that means the main character not getting together. I think that this is one of those story i wont mind if they end up just friends. For me a happy ending for them both is not to hurt that much over their loss, recover from their loss and find their happy ending, with or without each other. Dies that make sense?
Thanks Dia, this story is so much more than i expected. The prompt is something really close to my heart. Though a different loss, its still a loss. Thanks for breathing life into the prompt.
➬ Summary | Ever since the day he walked through the front door of your cafe hand in hand with his sweet daughter on one gloomy afternoon in the middle of winter, he had captured your heart without him even knowing it. All the time, you had chosen to stay in the sidelines, watching him mend his broken heart in silence while he teaches his own daughter that it was okay to be a kid despite the pain that they shared. You know you shouldn’t be so infatuated with him or to let this feeling go any deeper. Because nothing could prepare you when you are forced to watch him move on, completely unaware that he is about to be breaking your heart in pieces.
↳ Ratings | PG-13
↳ Warning | involves grief, mentions of characters death and traumatic events, emotional battles, slow burn.
Nari’s cheerful voice continues to fill the whole cafe for almost the entire afternoon. Even the whole vibe within the shop feels heavenly today. Inside, the atmosphere feels so light and warm despite the intense cold weather going on outside. You are pleased to find your co-workers showing their smiles constantly as they tend to the customers, and there doesn’t seem to be a sight of unhappy patron sitting in your cafe everywhere you look.
If only you could share all the excitement instead of feeling like you are in a constant slump. It is something that you call as your ‘holiday mood’, where you find yourself constantly in a somber mood which doesn’t fade so easily even as the holiday season comes and goes.
It had been this way last year, and the year before, and you still have no idea just how much longer this feeling would last. Even the calming scent of baked goods and sweets that have brought all these people together to your cafe does nothing to you when it would have been your remedy against your sorrow. Today, however, they are not doing you any good, except for the fact that they simply make you feel like there is a part of you that is missing and the things that you normally treasure could no longer help elevate your mood.
*Bonus chapter - Flashback alert* This takes place before chapter 1 (and after chapter 8.5 ‘envy’). There’s a lot of negative emotions in this one so proceed with caution ~ 3K words
“There’s an error,” Yoongi says, frowning at you from his desk in his private office. It ticks your nerves, you don’t have time for his usual bickering today.
“No I didn’t,” you snap, turning away with a roll to your eyes but he grabs your hand gently, coming to stand next to you as he leans you against the desk as if that would brace you somehow.
“The margins are 1.5, for pink and pink they have to be 1.25,” he tries to lighten the mood by scrunching his nose similar to the maknae and while you found it adorable the implication of his words had you reeling.
“I made a mistake?” Your voice is small but Yoongi can hear the sinking feeling in your chest through it. You skimmed the formatting instructions for this company very briefly, a jaded feeling running through your veins when you were given the project, images of Jungkook and Jin with the Pink and Pink CEO running through your mind. But that was no excuse for not doing your job properly.
Boys are so stupid. But then again, she’s so silly. If I didn’t like her I would lecture her about her self-image issues like the big fucking hypocrite I am! But all those negative thoughts keep piling up and the pressure is increasing, alongside with the existence of Susan because if I get my hands on that bitch I will wipe those luxurious floors with her face. Women should not hate on other women, especially because of men. I hate how she acts like YN is the one seeking them out. The CEOs follow after her like lost puppies and suddenly it’s YN’s fault that the boys don’t pay attention to Susan. UGH, so annoying.
The jealousy… jealousy… poor baby. I wonder how the boys would react if they saw her ex… Omg I’m a sadist that would be so funny. I can see the steam coming out of their ears *cackles* oblivious little duckling, so cute and so sad. I can’t decide.
I might have to *coughs* admit that the CEOs’s worry is cute. *coughs and makes a weird face - must be the pain from the previous chapter when she was choking on a dick so big I felt it - swallows hard* oh wow i could not have written anything weirder… I feel like I’m challenging myself and If I don’t fuck off this reblog will take a w h i l e
So they’re sweet and have to communicate *blushes in hypocrite* with my little duckling to make them happy and horny. Da boom tss.
I love this. I love this a lot. Brilliant work by Brilliant Blue
Alice in the Madness of Wonderland: The Stygian Fairytale | Walkthrough
↳ Banner and dividers made by @kim-seok-jin. Thank you^^.
✉Titles:
➝Alice in the Madness of Wonderland: The Stygian Fairytale
➝Stygian (the madness corrupts me, and you, my saviour)
Though Alice ‘Y/N’ Liddell is overshadowed, and she doesn’t seem to think much of it, she yearns for a world which notices her- gives her a chance- a part of her wanting for a turn to be on the pedestal. But of course, nothing can change that-
Or can it?
One chance encounter with a boy with bunny ears and a strange hole, and she arrives at the world of Wonderland- a world of magic, mystery and madness. Protecting her life is one thing, but-
What more when everyone seems determined to capture her heart?
➠ Genres: Angst, fantasy, alice in wonderland!au, reverse harem, isekai (teleported to a fantasy world), mystery
➠ Overall Rating: PG-18
➠ Warnings: Violence, suicide, comatose, disturbing scenes, weapons, fights, yandere, insanity, mental illnesses, torture, massacre, serial killers, violent riots, executions, murders, large amount of people die, stalking, people lead other people on, threats, madness (but it’s wonderland so), tea parties and the white rabbit
✉ Beta-player [a.k.a. me, blog writer and walkthrough maker!] comments:
Several crashes may occur while playing the game, as the developers told me. This is still a beta version of the game, after all! The game also contains a lot of violence… hrmm, well, you’ll see for yourself. I’ve been told not to give too many spoilers, but the developers hinted to me that as the player, we have a special power!
If you complete a route, you don’t have to continue to the next one. You can pick whichever route you’re on and make it your true end. When that option pops out in the game, and you pick yes, Wonderland will close, and Alice and her suitor will be able to leave! It’s our choices while reading that matter!
Or… at least that’s what they said. Still, I’d warn you guys to be careful in choosing! This game is tricky, and it has several bad ends too… ah, I shouldn’t spoil anymore. This is an online game, so I put the links below if you want to play the beta version too! Careful though~ It links straight to the prologue, so for any players replaying, just choose the route after!
Oh, and one last thing- though all of the main cast are dateable characters; it’s of course, only one character per route though… or is it? Hehehe!
If you go through all routes, you might get a secret ending! Bonus scenes! So complete the full game when it comes out, okay?
No, the developers totally didn’t ask me to say all that to promote the game~
Have fun playing, and I hope this walkthrough helps you!
Hi, everyone! As you all know, I’m building this fic as we go, based on your input, so I wanted to share some quick AMOMK updates that I’m really excited about! I’ve numbered them, so if there ones in the future, you can follow along!
THE STARTER PACKS
Have you seen random posts and thought, “What isthis???”
Well,A Map of Mrs. Kims is a project that I started last year based on this beautiful anon ask! That ask began a short story that I wrote about Jin, Namjoon, and Taehyung, who are brothers visiting their father, Jihu/Mr. Kim, and mother, Bongseon/Mrs. Kim for their usual weekly, Sunday dinner. And every week, during their usual Sunday dinner, Mrs. Kim brings out her map, a list and infographic of the top bachelorettes in the city that have gone through her rigorous application process to date one of the Kim brothers! Mrs. Kim’s main goal is to find three Mrs. Kims of their very own — but Jin, Namjoon, and Tae have other plans!
Over the last year, that short story has grown into an entire universe, filled with over 300 drabbles and asks (wild, wild), a planned longfic that will be updated monthly throughout 2022 (apologies for already being behind lol), the birth of two apparently extremelystrong ships (Bongseon x Jihu, and Sad Girl x Namjoon!), the election of Mayor Paint & Simp Anon (who is also in the running), a website that is currently being beta tested , and even a potential spin-off (Yoongi / Work Wife Yoongles is somewhere out there, sweating)???
The Official Sad Girl Starter Pack: more info on what a Sad Girl is (i.e., the trope/characterization, its origins in media, and its relevance to AMOMK), plus the main drabbles to give you backstory!
THE MAP
Check out Bongseon’s map masterpost as we go to get more details about each bachelorette, as well as Bongseon’s notes about them! (It’ll always be kept under the READ MORE / KEEP READING cut if you want to avoid spoilers!) Thanks @shyfoxarbiter16 for the suggestion, way back when we first started this journey!
THE STORY
I experimented with Bachelorette drabbles for the first section, NORTH, but to simplify, the dates are now being folded into the chapters! I talk about why I’m doing this here!
Chapter 02 has been slightly rewritten to incorporate this changes, but nothing has really structurally changed other than POV. And the Bachelorette drabble is now in the Extras section of the fic masterpost. If there’s inspiration or a strong demand for Y/N POV drabbles in each section, I’ll be happy to throw some treats as we go!
I am writing this story because it’s a really fun premise, and I’m seemingly infinitely inspired by this world, but most of all, it’s my gift to ARMY — this fanfiction bubble has been incredibly gracious and wonderful to me, and you all are so, so creative with your headcanons that you contribute so frequently, and with such care, love, and depth!
You’ve shared everything, from fodder, to questions, to critiques, to deeply personal stories that have such a humbling and celebrated thread of humanity through them. I know I say this every time, but any time you reach out to tell me that something the boys did reminds you of their AMOMK characterizations, or when something in your own lives makes you think about the Kims, my heart absolutely soars.
Thanks for sharing, and for being so down to come along with me on this experiment! All of these links will also be updated on the fic masterpost shortly! Eager to hear what you think — always so happy whenever you stop by the AMOMK universe!
the first time you saw jin, it was at 4 am in the ‘24/7’ library you liked to go to. he was sitting all alone at a circular table, staring intensely at the books in front of him, his eyebrows had scrunched up and his lips were caught in between his teeth in concentration. he only strayed his eyes away from them to see you enter the room. blinking owlishly, he gives you a one over, curiously but then returns back to studying, seemingly not paying anymore mind to you.
you set your books in a table far away from his, and sat down in a huff. you don’t like being around people and even if this man is pretty, prettier than you’d like to admit, he still was no exception and you snort when you see all the sticky notes and highlighters he has out on the table.
what a dork.
you don’t give him too much thought either, instead opening up your books and getting lost in them, immediately taking down notes and groaning in frustration every now and then.
you were so lost in finishing your assignment that you don’t notice his gaze linger on you after he deemed it was safe to do so without getting caught by you. and he continues to do so because you don’t bother to lift your head to look at anyone and jin tilts his head as he plays with one of his highlighters while still looking at you.
did you have different textbooks?
because what could be so interesting that you haven’t looked up for the past hour?
jin shakes his head at himself when he realizes he’s been staring at a stranger like a creep for an hour now. he’s got his own papers to finish so he pats his cheeks roughly, mumbling an apology when the clapping sound makes people look at him with an annoyed expression and starts working again.
he feels slightly bashful because he broke one of the rules of midnight libraries which was no sound, absolutely no sound, not even your steps should make a sound. if libraries are quiet in the morning, they should be as quiet as a graveyard at night.
and the next time he looks up from his books, you aren’t there anymore.
this happens a couple of times throughout the days he sees you, he will see you walk in and settle with your books and even he’s checking every ten minutes to see if you’re there or not, you still manage to vanish into thin air when he doesn’t notice.
jin thinks you’re a ghost.
because he can’t understand how you move so quickly and quietly, even when he sees you in the library the next week, he’s startled because one minute he’s happily using his lime-colored highlighter on text that doesn’t need highlighting only to casually look up and seeing you in your usual spot.
and jin is so surprised that he almost falls out of his chair when you give him a side glance. he’s almost tempted to touch your cardigan to see if you’re even real or not because no one else acknowledges you except him. like literally everyone acts like you’re invisible or you actually are invisible and he just doesn’t know.
there’s a reason why no one acknowledges you but jin doesn’t know that.
you see, jin doesn’t think a lot before doing something and now the mystery of whether he’s discovered a ghost or not is greater than any future embarrassment he might feel.
he strides over to you and slightly pulls on your cardigan, and yes, he feels the fabric, you look pretty normal up close, you don’t have full black eyes or whatever shit ghosts have going on, and he heaves in relief.
“so, you’re real, thank god” it’s only after he mumbles those words, he realizes his blunder because insinuating that you thought someone (someone you’re attracted to) was a ghost wasn’t the greatest way to flirt and he definitely knows his answer if he decides to ask you out because you’re glaring at him so hard, he wants to run away.
yep, his answer would be a big fat no.
before he can apologize or explain why he thought you were a ghost or why he pulled on your cardigan, you shove past him with your books held tightly against your chest and leave but not without whispering curses at him the entire time.
jin fucked up, he knows he did and he couldn’t help but think how stupid he was to just randomly walk up to you, still a complete stranger and pull on your cardigan, jin also couldn’t help that you felt familiar to him, in a way he couldn’t explain.
so, the next time you walked into the library, he was about to come up to you and apologize but then he sees how you roll your eyes as soon as you spot him and even when he stands up to try and talk to you, you brush right past him with a scowl on your face.
jin doesn’t know what to do.
he doesn’t want to risk pissing you off even more but he knows that he has to apologize, butyou do look like you are going to kill him if he comes near you. and his life is kind of precious to him.
nevertheless, with fumbling fingers and twitching lips, jin slowly walks to where you are and before he even opens his mouth to speak, you’re cutting him off.
“what, are you going to pull my cardigan again?” you snap at him and he quickly shakes his head, eyes shutting because he cannot believe he got himself into this situation.
“you aren’t wearing a cardigan today” he mumbled and winced immediately when you cocked an eyebrow at him.
what is the fucking deal with him when he is around you?
where is his ‘be respectful, not an asshole’filter?
“don’t get smart with me” you practically growled, irritation sinking deeper into your skin and jin shamefully nodded.
he had that one coming.
“i just wanted to apologize, i didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, i’m pretty sure it looked strange but my intention wasn’t that because the reason i even did it was- “he takes a deep sigh when he notices you sitting up straight, curious enough to want to know why he even pulled your cardigan instead of you know, saying hello like a normal person would.
“it was because i thought you were a ghost” he whispered, feeling the embarrassment settling deep in him as he explained and he snaps his eyes open to look at you when he hears your loud laugh. it gathers the attention of everyone else in the library but you don’t look like you care because you’re laughing so hard that your eyes have gathered tears.
jin doesn’t know why but he feels a certain warmth spread in his chest when he sees you looking so happy, even if it is because he embarrassed himself.
“why didn’t you just talk to me?” you said slightly breathlessly as you leaned back in your seat, a wide grin still on your face and jin felt himself smiling back at you.
“what if you were a ghost?” he retorted and you giggled again, jin was loving every minute of it. there’s nothing more ego boosting than someone you like finding you funny.
“strong point, can’t argue with that.” you lifted your hands in surrender and when you saw him laugh with his ears and cheeks all red, you knew you didn’t deserve whatever this handsome man had to offer.
you couldn’t get attached.
you didn’t deserve to be attached with anyone, especially not this guy who’s been making you laugh and forget about everything, even if it was for five minutes.
“okay, apology accepted, you can leave now.” you curtly nodded, voice devoid of any and all emotion and turned to open your books and jin was baffled because you looked so full of life not even a minute ago.
“you’re not even going to tell me your name?” and you don’t answer, instead staring down at your book even if your mind wasn’t grasping anything so jin shrugged to himself and left you alone even if he really wanted to stay and talk, or make you laugh more because you didn’t always look this happy, at least not in the times he’s seen you.
from then, jin didn’t bother you, of course he still looked your way whenever he could but he never went up to talk to you again and you couldn’t help but feel disappointed even if you were the one who pushed him away. a small solace for you was that you didn’t have to worry about getting attached anymore.
but jin is well, he’s jin and he’s hard to ignore.
so this time, you’re the one who looks up constantly with your pen caught in between your lips, you look up to see the handsome stranger across the room from you (you still don’t know his name) he doesn’t look too far from your age and you could only guess that you both went to the same university, you lean a little and squint your eyes to see any identification and sure enough he had a hoodie draped over the chair next to him and it had your university’s name on it.
how come you have never seen him around?
maybe he didn’t hang out near your block but you move around a lot so it’s puzzling that you have never noticed him before.
maybe he just had a tight circle of friends.
the next time you looked up, you saw him snoozing away with his book open in front of him. his precious highlighters are scattered around his head, he looked cute with his full lips and slightly flushed cheeks. absentmindedly, you gathered your books and sat down in the same table, still maintaining a good distance, not wanting to but looking over to see him every once in a while.
you giggled when his alarm rang and broke the silence in the very quiet, very empty library, so empty that it was only you and him, and a couple at the other end of the library but you were pretty sure they didn’t come here to study. jin snapped his eyes and hastily looked around to make sure no one caught him looking like a fool, only to meet your amused eyes.
and even if you didn’t want to, you started speaking.
“no loud noises in the library, don’t you know that?” you mused and pointed to the huge sign over your head which had the rule written on it in huge letters, a cheeky grin on your face only to laugh once more when he hurriedly bowed to you in apology.
he was still cute. and he was still making it really hard to not like him.
“it’s okay, just try not to sleep here, i can’t imagine the position being any comfortable” you chastised, you know this because once you fell asleep and woke up with such a cramped neck that you couldn’t move it for two days. you watched as his eyes danced over your face, pausing for a second or two and then lifting his eyebrow in a cocky way.
“thanks for the concern” jin smirked your way and you rolled your eyes, of course with a face like that, he was confident and that also made him attractive, it’s been a while since you’ve openly admitted to yourself that someone was attractive.
but it hasn’t been too long since you made the biggest blunder in your life.
you sighed, closing your books and thinking that this was enough studying for you today, not failing to catch jin’s panicked eyes looking at you.
you got up to leave, flinging your bag over your shoulder, and walking away, silently wishing for jin to say something and he didn’t disappoint. he wasn’t going to talk to you but you initiated the conversation this time so he took that as a green light to talk to you.
“wait, what’s your name? i’m jin!” he called after you, now standing in his seat. even from where you stood, his voice was clear as day so he must have been yelling.
“well jin, still no loud noises in the library, remember?” you smirked at him and laughed to yourself when you heard him groan and slump his shoulders.
just like that, you were gone. again.
jin doesn’t remember the last time he’s chased after someone but you looked like you were worth the chase so he brought out the big guns. he put a dent in his weekly budget and bought two expensive coffee infused drinks from the café in front of the library. all while he cursed capitalism, the café itself and even god because why the fuck did he have to pay 30$ for decent coffee?
that day, he kept close watch to the entrance of the library to catch you walk in and you did, looking even better than he remembers. as soon as you sit down in your usual seat, he walks over to you after gathering every bit of confidence left in him and you paused from writing your notes when you saw a shadow on them, looking up to see jin standing there with a nervous smile and two cups in his hands.
and dare you say, your heart fluttered.
“what are you doing jin?” you mused and he hated how much he liked his name rolling off your tongue. he hasn’t liked his name this much before, you just made it sound more beautiful.
“what does it look like? i’m trying to get your name.” and with that, he set a cup in front of you, and you see, it was very tempting to just sit here and get lost in a conversation with jin who seemed more than eager about it but it wasn’t so tempting when you remember your mistakes, you have hurt someone else too much to chat over coffee like this.
“i don’t like coffee.” but you can’t say no to jin.
jin sighs and just as he’s about to grab the cup and leave you, swearing to himself that he won’t return and also convincing himself to just drink the two expensive drinks himself, your voice stutters his movement to a halt.
“but there’s nothing wrong with trying it again, i guess” you sheepishly grab the cup and start sipping, not missing the relieved smile that settles on his lips and you smile back.
one conversation won’t hurt anyone.
-
turns out, jin is a lot more charming when he isn’t picking on your cardigan, and even more handsome up close. you almost choked on your breath when he leaned over the table to wipe an eyelash from your cheek. the coffee was good but you almost forgot to drink it because you were trying to find some, really any flaws in jin’s face, you didn’t find any. you tried to see flaws in his personality, you didn’t see any, or you just painted too pretty of a picture of him in your head but he really hasn’t given you any reason to paint an ugly one.
it was all too cliché. even now, bundled in your sheets, your hand unconsciously strokes where he touched you and warm butterflies fill your chest.
but you shouldn’t feel like this. last time you felt like this, you hurt someone and even if it’s been a few years since that, you don’t have it in you to forgive yourself because you really do think you don’t deserve to be with anyone.
and as much as you like jin, you know that’s it’s only a matter of time before he finds out about what you did and you’re terrified.
jin is the only person who has treated you like you deserved niceness in all these years and in your heart, you know you have to push him away, or either of you will get too comfortable to go.
and the idea of pushing him away only seemed to get harder the more days you spent with him later on, it was like whatever you two had was magnetic. you never told him your name though, masking your fear of him finding about you by just simply teasing him more. you would walk into the library and the first thing you saw was jin’s large grin and two coffee cups in front of him, and just like that, your heart felt lighter and you felt like letting your regrets go.
but regrets don’t just go, they cling to you, and they clung to you even when you dreamed of jin, they also clung to you when you wondered about what he was dreaming of, if it was you like you dreamed of him.
-
“so yeah, i cried to myself at midnight while watching coco instead of finishing my assignment and now, i’m doomed” jin, along with hoseok and jungkook, laughed at taehyung who was furiously typing away on his laptop.
“glad to know you can find joy in my misery.” taehyung clenched his teeth in mock anger and proceeded to anxiously check the time once again. from what he told them, this assignment was 20% of his grade and he was given a month to finish it. taehyung is starting it now.
taehyungisdoomed.
magnificently doomed.
“just finish your essay man” jungkook snickered when hoseok shook his head disappointedly at taehyung’s situation. and jungkook also noticed how jin kept looking around the cafeteria instead of laughing with him, his own eyes travelled to where jin was looking and he didn’t know jin found fading posters on their bulletin board interesting but here they were, staring at a particularly moldy piece of paper hanging on for dear life on that board.
“if you want to join knitting club, we won’t judge hyung” hoseok burst into laughter at jungkook’s words, almost spitting his drink out and jin shook off his haze, turning to playfully shove his younger friend off the table. and after flapping hands at each other for a minute and bickering until one of them backed out, jungkook looked a little concerned for jin because jin was never one to zone out or think too much.
“but no, what are you even thinking about?” jin hesitated to speak about you, he really didn’t know a lot about you, he just knew enough to know that he definitely liked you and you spent a lot of time together but you haven’t even told him your name.
and just as he’s thinking about you, he swears that it’s the ghost of you that comes into the cafeteria and you don’t spare a single glance at anyone, walking straight to the vending machine, a couple of eyes turn to look at you and jin misses the way hushed whispers are exchanged as soon as you’re in the room.
jin doesn’t have it in him to walk up to you today, you make him weak in the best way possible and he hasn’t prepared himself to see you in campus. and jungkook notices how jin’s eyes stray towards you, also noticing how he doesn’t look away until you leave the cafeteria.
jungkook knows what’s got his hyung all wind up.
“so, y/n?” jungkook muses, a teasing tone settled in his voice and jin chokes on thin air, he didn’t expect jungkook to know you, let alone know your name.
“you know her name?” he turns to jungkook with wide eyes and jungkook almost laughs at his comical expression, but his humility dies down the second he sees how serious jin looks, he sits up straight and clears his throat. he’s only seen jin serious a handful of times, and he didn’t enjoy any of those incidents.
“of course, i do, everyone does” jungkook shrugs and jin turns to hoseok and taehyung for confirmation. and sure enough, they both nod as well and jin almost lets out a screech at how everyone around him knows you but him.
seeing jin’s panicked expression, a realization dawns on his roommate, hoseok who smirks at his friend proudly after figuring out where exactly he had been disappearing off to these past few nights.
“is she the reason why you have been going to the library every day?”
“nonsense, i just want to get my grades up.” jin nervously utters out as his ears tinge red, he’s never been a good liar and his friends know and they enjoy watching him miserably struggle with his words.
“you haven’t turned in your assignments for two weeks now” hoseok pointed out with a broad, knowing smile on his face.
“are you stalking me?” jin narrows his eyes at his roommate, but his cheeks were definitely red with all the attention of the conversation turned to him.
“hyung, do you really not know anything about her? she literally was all people talked about when i was a freshman” taehyung said, looking up from his laptop for the first time since the past 10 minutes.
“don’t you have an assignment to finish?” jin questioned, raising his eyebrows at taehyung who didn’t seem to care at all.
“i’m failing anyway, i’ve come to terms with it.” taehyung had apparently decided that his luck wouldn’t save him this time and he was just too invested in the conversation they’re having right now to care about the assignment.
“seriously though, i’m still a junior and i know about her, how do you not?” jungkook piped up, looking at jin incredulously and jin sighed, there was no winning for him here.
“fine, she’s the reason i’m going to the library and i do like her a little but she never told me her name so i would very much appreciate it if you told me.” taehyung, jungkook and hoseok looked at each other for a second, silently debating on whether they should tell what they know or not. all while, jin’s eyes danced over the three of them as they continued to stare at each other and after coming to an unspoken agreement that jin indeed needs to know, taehyung finally breaks eye contact with them and looks at jin.
“y/n, she cheated on her boyfriend in her second year.”
jin didn’t know to react.
he imagined a lot of things about you but you didn’t look like a cheater, and he felt betrayed even if he wasn’t involved with you fully. it just felt like everything he knew about you became a blurry mess that he wasn’t sure of anymore.
how many other things have you been hiding from him?
and jin has never been the judgmental kind but cheating, to him, was pretty serious.
“her boyfriend was devasted and he apparently pulled this sympathy card, got everyone to feel bad for him and that made everyone hate her for a while, he was the campus go-lucky guy so when he got all sad, people got defensive and shit, it was a whole thing. from what i know, she lost a lot of friends after that and her now, ex-boyfriend continues to mop around about it, he’s like the typical good guy who got his heart broken so yeah, no one bothers to talk to her anymore.”
so that is why you’re always alone in the library.
-
you didn’t see jin in the library for a while and it confused you, even hurt you a little bit because even if you know you didn’t deserve his presence, he made you feel alive. you missed that feeling of not being an empty void which spoke two words at the most. he actually pulled sentences, paragraphs even from your mouth with little effort. you missed being around people in general but you understood why no one would talk to you.
because you were a cheater.
you broke someone’s heart.
and you knew you fucked up. you knew you fucked up the minute you woke up in someone else’s bed.
you knew you fucked up when you saw the disappointment, anger and then sadness fill your then boyfriends eyes as you told him what happened.
and it didn’t help that he was actually a kind but difficult person to deal with, it didn’t help that you stopped loving him a long time ago, you even doubted if you ever loved him at all.
but those were excuses to anyone who would hear them.
excuses from a cheater.
because cheaters and liars have all the excuses in the world.
that night became a catalyst for the end of your relationship and there was nothing else you needed more, but it felt like you stepped out of a cage only to fall into a hole.
your ex didn’t take the news too well, and word spread around so quick that even your teaching assistants knew about what happened and they shamed you, for your actions, for your underwhelming reactions to any provoking done by anyone because honestly, you felt numb.
you thought college was going to be this fun period in your life that you would enjoy to the fullest, which is why you even moved from home, you were excited to start this new chapter with an open mind and it all crashed down on you before you could embrace it. it all fell apart right in front of you and you couldn’t do anything but watch as your reputation crumbled into fine sand.
and you deserved it. nothing could excuse cheating, not even the shell you called a relationship, not your boyfriend who was actually a good person and didn’t deserve what you gave him, nothing could change that you were exactly what they called you, a cheater.
it took everything in you to not roll your eyes when he went around campus crying to everyone about how you betrayed him and absolutely broke him, and you felt like a horrible person because you were the reason he was hurt. but you didn’t feel anything. you still don’t feel anything.
but there was one emotion that filled you to the brim and tumbled over. one you won’t admit you feel.
regret.
regret filled your every inch with dangerous opacity, regret that you couldn’t love someone as nice as him, regret that you had to hurt someone to move forward, regret that that one night absolutely destroyed everything for you, regret that you’ll only ever be known as a cheater and nothing else in all your college life.
it’s painful to experience the end of something even if you’ve been anticipating it.
you didn’t love your ex-boyfriend but still the end of whatever you were, it killed you just as much as it killed him. there were still nights that you would dream of tracing his features with your hands in the dark while he softly hummed his favorite song to you, there were still days you missed going to the cafeteria with him and just being all wrapped up with him in front of all your friends, there were still days you missed what you were even if it weren’t good for you.
regret rots you from the inside out, slowly kills you but you act like nothing affects you but every whisper, every stare that lasts too long on you, it halts your movements and makes you close your eyes in pure anguish.
“i get that it’s 4 am and no one is actually okay at this time but why do you look like you’re trying to hold in a fart?” jin’s voice broke your daze, your eyes bouncing around to find where he was, only to see him standing to the side of you while holding two cups, and jin thought he was kidding himself when he saw your face momentarily give him a relieved smile.
“just thinking” you replied, voice a little shaky and nervous. and you straightened your posture when you saw jin looking at you with more seriousness in his eyes, none of his usual playfulness or mischief found, his face was blank and not lit up in a smile like it usually was.
did he find out?
the possibility of him finding out about what you did unnerved you a little. and the tension lingered in the air, with both his sour mood and your overactive mind.
“you know, you don’t have to get me this every time, i know these are expensive as fuck” you cheekily said when he slid one of the cups over to you and jin swore, he could’ve kissed you for being so understanding of his thin wallet.
“thank you, i will no longer be getting us drinks from that place, it’s like every time i go there, they increase the prices.” jin complained loudly, an angry pout on his face as he threw his hands around to exaggerate his frustration. and you bit your lip to stop yourself from laughing out loud at his red face. but you felt relieved that he didn’t seem as rigid as he looked when he came in.
“that’s true, they switch up their prices almost weekly besides, we have a coffee machine here in the library, why did you go till there?” jin’s mouth dropped as you said this.
this library had a whatnow?
“what do you mean, there’s a coffee machine here?”
“yeah, it’s right there, we have three of them actually” you pointed to the opposite side of the room and jin almost cried out in frustration when he saw the brand spanking new coffee machines, all shiny and ready to be used.
“it even makes caramel latte” you added in, just to humor his expression a little more. and his jaw drops further.
so, he almost blew his month’s allowance to get you coffee when there was a perfectly (and free!!) working coffee machine right here?
“great” he pushed his tongue into his cheek to try and conceal the frustration bubbling in him and it took everything in you to not snicker.
“why haven’t you been coming in these days? grades got too good?” you gave him a small smile, only to see that all the tension that dissipated had built back up when his eyes flashed with realization as to why he came here and he straightened himself back to same posture he had when he walked in-rigid and stern.
“i actually wanted to talk you about something” you knew exactly what he was going to ask you about but you settled to hear it from him first, you could already feel your stomach sinking, and you were foolishly hoping he would ask you about the coffee machines again.
“oh yeah? what is it?” you asked with pursed lips while your fingers nervously fiddled with the lid of the coffee cup and jin took a deep breath, contemplating whether to ask you or not but ever the forward person he was, he did.
“i heard a lot about you, just recently actually, i’m pretty sure you know what i’m talking about. but i don’t know how much of it i can believe so i want you to be honest with me and tell me what happened. before we go any further with whatever this is, i want to hear it from you, y/n.”
“so, you got my name?” you delayed answering his question by taking notice of him saying your name for the first time. your name falling out of his mouth made you shiver a little, you swore that no one else could say your name like he did, you ached to hear it from him again and again.
“it was surprising that everyone around me knew but i didn’t.” he shrugged, taking his coffee cup and peering at you from the top, waiting for you to talk.
you see, jin actually thought of never talking to you again, because your situation just felt too messy and he didn’t know if he wanted to get involved.
but then he also felt he was being unfair by not knowing both sides of what happened so what better way to solve his confusion than ask the person who is directly involved?
besides, jin has blown too much money on coffee just to keep talking to you to give up now. and he doesn’t even like coffee.
“you need to be honest with me, i’m not here to intimidate you into talking or whatever, i’m here to listen to your side” and something about the way his eyes softened when he saw your hands shake a little, and then taking your quivering hands in his made you want to tell him.
you wanted to tell him everything with just the pure openness in his eyes and his willingness to hear you out before he concluded something about the situation, it warmed your heart that at least one person wanted to see how you felt instead of calling you names behind your back.
even if you might never see him because he could be disgusted with what you did and what you felt, you told him. you told him what happened, you told him the feeling that pooled in you after that fateful night, the same feeling you wouldn’t even admit to yourself. you even told him how you wouldn’t change anything except someone getting their heart broken because your relationship ended even before you cheated on him.
you told him everything you wouldn’t even whisper into the night.
jin listened to all of it with utmost attention and you even searched his eyes for any signs of judgment but all you saw was kindness.
kindness you didn’t feel like you deserved.
“you know, you keep saying he was hurt but from what you said, you were hurt just as much.” jin was right. but you didn’t reply because you were scared of admitting that if it broke his heart, it had broken you all over.
you were just as hurt over what happened as your ex-boyfriend but you felt like you didn’t deserve to feel pain when you inflicted it. but pain is a two-edged sword, you felt the same pain just in a different way. it was still pain, it was still you crying every night because you had no one to wish you good night except your parents, it was still you avoiding going into the cafeteria just to avoid the way everyone looked at you, your pain was still pain.
and no one but jin understood that.
“do you regret it?” he finally asked, pushing his cup away and looking at you pointedly.
“i regret cheating on him, not the breakup” you replied honestly, gulping a little and he hummed.
there was a tense pause in the air as you warily eyed him for any reaction but he didn’t give you any, keeping a stoic face and you felt like you couldn’t breath with how silent everything got, thankfully he gave your heart a break by speaking again.
“that’s fair enough. next time, let’s just get the coffee here.” he ended his sentence with a gentle smile which almost made you cry out of happiness because he didn’t run away.
he listened to the worst of you and stayed.
and you clung to his words ‘next time’ more than you thought you would.
-
jin meant what he said, he understood you were having a hard time too and he assumed alienation at college would be pretty harsh considering almost everyone knows everyone on campus. it must have been hard for you when everyone knew about your worst mistake and talked about it like it was teatime gossip.
but jin’s met tons of people in their worst moments, he’s learned to appreciate and admire the strength that individuals have to overcome shit instead of judging them for it.
he met jungkook when he seemingly had no aim and was just a lost young boy who was temperamental or sometimes too shy, he met hoseok when he was going through a rough breakup and was still trying to find himself, he found taehyung when he was a lot sterner and lacked understanding of others. and all his friends have been through their own shit, jin’s been through his fair share of shit too, he’s seen all of them and himself grow into who they are today and he’s proud of them and him too.
but jin knows you’ve already grown through the experience, now you just need to heal and be accepted again, and if no one else does that, he will. not because he was a hero or something, he just felt he couldn’t miss out on knowing someone like you just because you made one mistake.
jin didn’t give a shit about hushed whispers or the weird you would sometimes get when you held his hand, he could hear them calling him a fool for being with you but again, jin was determined to give you a chance for yourself and he wasn’t going to back down.
his unshaking faith in you made you believe in yourself too, he introduced you to his friends who were just as welcoming as he was. he felt his heart warm when you held his hand tighter each time someone would start a conversation with you, like you still needed him even with all those people around, jin felt like he could die a happy man, it didn’t take you long before you got comfortable around people again. 
jin couldn’t be prouder.
even right now, the library is still your favorite place, even after several days of spending time with each other, jin couldn’t deny how much more lively and confident you looked as you sat in front of him. this time with coffee made from the library machines near your hands and jin almost leaps from his seat when you look like you’re going to knock them over, you don’t even notice how his hands reach out and hold the cup still, instead just going back to write on your brightly colored flash cards (you have taken a liking to bright stationery because of him, you’ve even gone on dates to stationery stores just for the heck of it.)
jin feels endeared and lets out a light chuckle, because you look very cute with your eyebrows scrunched, lips in a slight pout as you furiously jot down points, your hair ever so slightly falls on your face, you just seem so into your own world and like you’ve tuned out everyone else.
but he also frowns at the realization that you’ve probably gotten used to not having anyone around and tuning out everyone was the easiest way you could deal with being alone. he knows that feeling creeps back in you even if you are doing better now.
so, he picks up his books and bag in a hurry making you look up at him with widened eyes, and just as you are about to ask him where he’s going, he seats himself right beside you.
he’s determined to never make you feel lonely again.
he’s also determined to prove to you that it’s okay too feel everything you do, be it pain, be it happiness.
he feels like he’s in love? he feels exactly like what they’ve been calling him, a fool.
a fool in love to be more specific, a fool because just by sitting there, you make him want to fight the world for you.
and jin is okay with being a fool. he’s okay with being a fool for you.
It seems like everyone around you is either already in love, or in the process of falling, and while normally you couldn’t give a damn, finding out the co-worker you’ve had a teensy crush on is dating someone else at the office seems to sucker punch you right in the gut. It’s stupid, and you’re irritated at yourself, but you can’t seem to shake out of the funk you’ve fallen face first in.
Feeling lonely and heartsore, and mad for no reason, during drinks with your best friend you spot a man at the bar. Tequila confident, you make your way over to the stranger, and successfully one thing leads to another. The next morning you leave before he’s woken up, feeling satisfied in one way, but still as discontented as ever. Telling yourself it was an inebriated mistake, you quickly try to forget about it.
Only, three weeks later that night comes back to haunt you – in a very unescapable way…
pairing; kim seokjin x f reader au/genre; unplanned pregnancy, strangers to lovers, slow burn, romance (dare I say romcom in places), smut, angst, (melo)drama, dual pov words; 9,130
warnings for this chapter (!) ANGST CITY, just straight up no escape, no reprieve, mentions of parent death, toxic co-worker, worrying behaviour from Sera, lies, I think some of you might get angry at Oc , you may want to give seokjin a hug, basically emotions are high, Yuna is the best as always, an altercation, Thursday morning chaos at the office lmao, Soobin cameos (couldn’t help myself)
Genre: Childhood Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Eventual Angst, Eventual Smut
Summary: A walk home with your best friend brings up feelings that you thought were long gone.
Warnings: Feelings. Lots of Feelings.
Drabble:1/??
Word Count:590
A/N: Welcome to my new drabble series! Writing my favorite trope for the love of my life, the one and only Kim Seokjin, is honestly a dream come true. I need to give the biggest thank you EVER to wise and wonderful @arizonapoppy for giving me advice when I was in a writing slump, sending me the prompt challenge that inspired this series, and bringing my muse back to me when I thought it had run for the hills And another gigantic thank you goes out to the best beta reader and banner creator of all time, @hannahbee12719! Where would I be without you? I’m not sure exactly how long this series is going to be, but currently, I have about 15 drabbles planned. I’m just going where the wind takes me on this one, so thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoy the journey! ☺️
The walk home from your best friend’s birthday dinner is taking longer than expected. You feel like you’ve been traveling this stretch of sidewalk for an eternity, and the December chill is starting to seep into your bones.
“You cold, Bug?” Seokjin asks, eyeing your shivering form with concern.
Before you can even answer, he takes your hand in his, slipping both into the pocket of his black pea coat.
