“I have strong emotions about bacon grease.” I announce as I warm leftovers in the microwave. While I wait, I fill empty toilet paper rolls with dirt and plant okra in them.
“Oh?” My sister asks from the phone propped against the side of the rag basket so I can talk as I move.
I pause, trying to collect my thoughts. There was a can of bacon grease in my grandmother’s cupboard that she used to fry her eggs. An older friend would save her bacon grease and use it to bake because butter was expensive. My parents always threw the bacon grease out in the yard, saying it was unhealthy. Too much fat. Gross. Nasty. They bought oil from the store to fry eggs in. Bought perfectly shaped sticks of butter to bake with.
“I don’t know what the emotion is yet, but it’s strong.” I say, struggling to articulate the snarl of emotions in my chest as I set the homemade seed planters in the window sill. “I mean, I don’t eat bacon. Eating pigs kinda creeps me out, but if I cooked bacon, I’d save the grease. Save it and fry eggs or maybe caramelize onions in it or something, you know?”
“That’s really good if you do that. Add garlic too.” My sister agrees. She’s a better cook than I. Follows the tangents of our conversations without impatience. “I save my bacon grease but it gets used up in just a couple days.”
“Yeah, you save it, and you use it, and you don’t go to the store with the big ‘buy me’ signs and buy a plastic jug of processed oil and go home and fry your eggs with the stuff while throwing out bacon grease. Because it’s-” I make air quotes with my hands despite knowing she can’t see me. There is dirt under my fingernails. “-healthier. It’s just…”
“Wasteful?” She suggests. I can hear her feeding her chickens through the speaker of my phone. I already cared for mine, gathered the eggs and freshened their water. Cleaned their coops and fed them. I give them scraps from my kitchen as treats and throw weeds from my garden in their pen, just like she does.
“Yes! ‘Don’t save that, buy this instead! Buy, be skinny, give us your money!’ It’s just… ugh. Strong emotions about bacon grease.” I groan and wish I could articulate myself better. Words tangle up in my throat, snarled with emotion and it takes too long to pick them apart into sense. I wash my hands and try to talk around the snarl. “We never saved it growing up, my parents would throw it out and I thought that was weird because I knew grandma cooked with it, but they said it was too fattening and turned around and bought canola oil, you know? How many canola oil jugs are in a landfill because of that?”
“So you have positive strong emotions about bacon grease, you think it’s a good thing. You just hate the diet culture and consumerism around it?” My sister suggests, always quicker with her thoughts than I, and I love her for it.
“Yes! Exactly!” I pull my warmed leftovers from the microwave and pour myself a glass of water. All of my drinking glasses are salsa or pickle jars that I saved and washed.
“You don’t like bacon.”
“No, but if I cooked it I would still save the grease.”
“Of course.” She agrees. “And probably give it to me.”
I sometimes feel people think they need to “fix themselves” before they can be accepting of and ok with themselves, but that is backwards to me. Only after fully accepting yourself can you heal and authentically improve yourself.
All easier said than done of course But those trying to do it the first way are doing it the hard, complicated, flawed way, and I mean, life is hard enough without that!
when people complain about trans women and trans fems being overly sexual, kinky, or expressing sexual fetishes–consider, there’s no difference when women who’re tme do it, you’re just being incredibly hard on trans women and femes.
You’re contributing to the continued slut shamming of marginalized women. Either way, you are controlling and attempting to control the way women express themselves.
I really don’t think that women and femmes who are TME are any less sexual than trans women. Women (not all) have always been openly sexual and openly kinky, people have just found ways to shame or suppress them.
recognizing people coming on trans women hard for being sexually expressive as another way that people are just trying to police women. It’s transmisogyny. trans women expressing sexuality or being overly sexual isn’t predatory.
These dogs all fill the “stereotypical dog shape” to a fault.
The dog in the middle, the Entlebucher sennenhund, is the only one not common… anywhere, really. While both the beagle (in America at least) and the lab, are very popular family dogs.
Other than the shape, these three breeds are completely different, with the beagle being a tracking hunting dog/scenthound, the sennenhund is a cattle herder, and the Labrador retriever is a retrieving bird dog.
I think it would be neat if the Entlebucher got more popular, as while it is rather stubborn, noisy and energetic and not for everyone, I’m pretty positive it would make a better companion/family dog than the beagle.
i’ll keep improving my art. i want to get better more than anything. i want to look back on how far i’ve come but instead i keep looking forward and it seems like I have a whole mountain to climb and everyone else is almost at the peak. it’s hard to see your own progress but so easy to see everyone else’s. i just feel so slow and no ones gonna wait.
Recently I thought that if I die, I should wrote as my last will “build a altar near my burial place”. Then my heirs should choose random date (perfect, if it will depend on the location of the stars or planets but choose just from moon calendar is okay too) and make regular offerings (peaches and apples will be great). When will people ask about it, they should keep mysterious silent and use “you really don’t know who was it, Gosh” sight. People will talk, people will join, people will make strange theories.
After hundred years, scientists will study this phenomena, begin excavating and find out that my body is never been here. It’s lying under the nearest tree like perfect fertilizer for nice cherry-tree.
Just had a thought about Breach. If he is able to live out a long life (which, who knows given his favourite line of work), there will be a day in his older years where he’ll have to retire his arms right? What are they? Carbon steel w titanium plating? That’s likely pretty heavy considering he boasts about them being sturdy and unbreakable unlike Killjoy’s bots. His body would say no to more trouble before his mind does. He’ll take them off one last time and never put them back on. I don’t know if that’s something to be sad over but it would definitely be a huge change to his life.
I’ve finished my annual reading of All the Light We Cannot See so here are agents that I would pair with some of my fave quotes from the book:
Brimstone: “There is the humility of being a father to someone so powerful, as if he were only a narrow conduit for another, greater thing.”
Viper: “…who will be the bravest. Who will lie on her back and let her last breath curl up to the ceiling as a curse upon the invaders.”
Omen: ”What ghosts sidle along the walls right now, trying to overhear?“
Killjoy: “Only numbers. Pure math. You have to accustom yourself to thinking that way.”
Cypher: “If your same blood doesn’t run in the arms and legs of the person you’re next to, you can’t trust anything.”
Sage: “ Don’t you ever get tired of believing, Madame? Don’t you ever want proof?”
Sova: “I hear you. Needles in the haystack. Thorns in the paw of the lion. He finds them…”
Phoenix: “Don’t you want to be alive before you die?”
Jett: “ Your problem, Werner, is that you still believe in your own life.”
Reyna: “Pass us by, Horseman. Pass this house by.”
Raze: “The entropy of a closed system never decreases. Every process must by law decay.”
Breach: “Is it right to do something only because everyone else is doing it?”
Skye: “When really, he thinks, [time]’s a glowing puddle you carry in your hands; you should spend all your energy protecting it. Fighting for it. Working so hard not to spill one single drop ”
Yoru: “The simultaneity of instants.“
Astra: “So how, children, does the brain, which lives without a spark of light, build for us a world full of light?”
KAY/O: “ Torrents of text conversations, tides of cell conversations, of television programs, of e-mail, vast networks of fiber and wire interlaced above and beneath the city… And is it so hard to believe that souls might also travel those paths?”
Chamber: "All your life you wait, and then it finally comes, and are you ready?“
Neon: “What you could be.”
Fade: “-and for a moment he apprehends a huge and terrible presence looming just beyond the morning.”
The picture itself is a glass dome over a city and the text translated as “Celebrate our city: the wonder beneath the waves.” And the bottom text is literally translated to “day of sanctuary” but google translate calls it shrine day…
Then, at the very bottom (I had to click on it on mobile to see) there’s text that reads “your kid is safe”… uh WTF is that for Fade? Does she have a kid (son bc she said ‘you took him’ right?) or is that a general warning for the public but then why do you need that? Is it common in Portugal to be like “This event is safe for kids!” ??? Edit: was informed that it’s your future is safe so this part is moot. Still kinda creepy to bring up but less targeted so there’s that
So uh… unless google translate has led me astray somewhere… here’s hoping for a juicy cinematic/lore reveal for the next episode…
Thinking abt how Breach doesn’t have to do arm workouts and instead probably compensates w more time everywhere else. Might be the strongest human in the Protocol.
And I bet Sova would love to trace his fingertips over all the defined muscle on his back and chest. Maybe gets a little nervous around his thighs because being squeezed even during fun times can be kinda tight lol. Def would feed into Breach’s vanity/confidence. Just a little :p
okay but honestly i’m really happy that nic died in the resident??? don’t get me wrong, she was super likeable and i’m an emily vancamp fan but nic had???? zero plot for the last season that wasn’t just Married and Pregnant. she hasn’t had much of a drive in the show for a while so i really don’t know what she would’ve contributed in season five?????
also i’m obvs not a fan of fridging and female deaths for the sake of to pushing forward a male arc, but emily vancamp chose to leave on her own, and frankly i was already speculating she would die when she didn’t appear in the series premiere
its the best thing for the show and conrad will FINALLY have something to work through that isn’t a medical problem
another scenario I’d really like to see since I’m spreading my agenda that ‘hunter and amity actually would be friends, thank you’is
hunter doesn’t really know much about amity except for the fact that she obviously cares for luz very much and that they’re in a healthy relationship despite what he thought in eclipse lake; hunter might go to her for advice about willow. this seems like an organic way for their friendship to blossom methinks.
luz is a complete blabbermouth and gus is too young to really understand romance or have experience in it. amity also has the benefit of being childhood friends with willow, and a lesbian (the best people to consult about women, trust).
it would be a really nice cap off to her reconcilliation with willow - i think it would be funny and also just interesting if she only agreed to advise him after hunter proved to her that he would be good to willow.
Look at how pretty the palisades are! If you were just some random passerby dude, wouldn’t you have wanted to just take advantage of my curvy busty body and drag me off into the woods an rape the fuck out of my sweet innocent pussy?!?
it’s funny. the girl that made me realise, that I am bisexual and was my first love is married. to the girl that hates me because of an incident she wasn’t even involved in.
don’t get me wrong. I am in a relationship and happy. it’s just funny.
