#king john

ardenrosegarden:

“In King John, Shakespeare subjects masculine voices to skeptical feminine interrogation, and the history he represents becomes problematic, an arena for contending interests to compete and for unauthorized voices to be heard and to challenge the voices of patriarchal authority. Like Margaret and Joan, the disorderly women in the first tetralogy, women in King John usurp masculine prerogatives. Elinor announces in the opening scene that she is “a soldier” (I.i.150), and her role is no anomaly in a play where “ladies and pale-visag’d maids/Like Amazons come tripping after drums,” changing “their thimbles into armed gauntlets…their needl’s to lances, and their gentle hearts/To fierce and bloody inclination” (V.ii.154–8). Unlike Talbot, who found Joan’s presence on the battlefield unnatural, the men in King John seem to accept the fact of warrior women, even though the presence of women seems to lead to gender blurring. The English soldiers, for example, are said to have both “ladies’ faces” and “fierce dragons’ spleens” (II.i.68). When the Earl of Salisbury weeps, the Dauphin declares that he values those “manly drops” above the “lady’s tears” that have melted his heart in the past (V.ii.47–9). Both contenders for the English crown—the bold and warlike John no less than his infant rival—find their authority compromised by subjection to the domination of powerful, vociferous mothers, and the King of France bows to the threats of a mother church. Unwilling to break his truce with John lest they “make…unconstant children” of themselves (III.i.243), he finally agrees to do both after Pandulph threatens that “the Church, our mother, [will] breathe her curse,/A mother’s curse, on her revolting son” (III.i.256–7).”

— Jean E. Howard, Engendering a Nation: A Feminist Account of Shakespeare’s English Histories(viagoneril-and-regan)

aethelfleds:

I have ingested nyquil so I am doing this

Alfred the Great: buys just enough canned food and duct tape to the point where you’re not overly concerned but you are pretty sure he’s a doomsday prepper

Aethelflaed: fills three carts with snack cakes, those church basement paper cups, and generic brand soda because no one can negotiate a surrender on an empty stomach

Athelstan: that is far too much coffee 

Aethelred the Unready: just buying every single item on his wife’s list. This is the fourth store he’s been to because Emma is very specific.

Cnut: only came here for all his Special Haircare Products

William the Conqueror: fills up a cart and just leaves without paying. just fucking books it to the parking lot I hate him

Matilda: comes in with three rowdy boys, tells them to not ask for ANYTHING, buys an armload of 5-hour energies, leaves with two rowdy boys

Henry II: walks around the store eating a bag of grapes he has not bought while Eleanor does the actual shopping

Richard I: will find a way to talk about his study abroad last year with the deli guy if it kills him. Is also texting his mom to ask what groceries he needs to buy because he has no idea

John: verbally berating everyone in customer service because they won’t let him return a dented can of peas that expired 7 years ago

Edward I: tries to use a 24 year old coupon to buy lentils in bulk (he doesn’t even like lentils?) and knocks over an elaborate pepsi display in a fit of rage 

Edward II: has his card declined and demands to know why the cashier had to be so loud about it

Edward III: says “guess it’s FREE THEN HAHAHA!!!” when an item doesn’t scan right away. several items do not scan. Gets a veteran’s discount.

Richard II: that’s uhhh… a lot of advil there buddy 

Henry V: also has his card declined but drops the “DO YOU KNOW WHO MY FATHER IS” line, is dressed like lucky luciano 

Henry VI: begins to panic when Margaret leaves him in line for two minutes because she forgot eggs. the line is moving quickly…so quickly

Edward IV: he has one cart filled with wine. Elizabeth Woodville has another filled with kid cuisines. 

Henry VII: pulls out the fattest binder you have ever seen and it’s filled with coupons. His transactions usually take 2 hours and he tsks the entire time. 

Henry VIII: buys bags of charcoal and dog food just so he can pick them all up and be like “yeah this isn’t even heavy to me I don’t even feel it” also buys condoms and laughs nervously 

Edward VI: literally just buying root vegetables even though he’s 9 because he is so weird

Mary I: just coming in for her weekly supply of “praying for you” cards, always gives exact change thank you mary 

Elizabeth I (if these even count as medieval anymore): no longer allowed to do her own shopping after the sweet n low incident. Now a personal shopper gets her groceries for her. it is robert dudley 

Did someone watch the interview of Howard at London Live yesterday? Or did someone find it online? I wanto to watch it so bad cwc

A trifecta of relatively obscure plays today!

I’ve seen Henry VIII andKing John performed lived twice each now, and Love’s Labour’s four times, not counting various filmed productions. I can also say “honorificabilitudinitatibus” forwards and backwards. My Shakespeare geek creds are strong.