The reason I haven’t been active is 1. School 2. My nana is dying…

Yeah. My Mum’s mother is dying. Dying, that’s a scary word. It’s a sad word as well. It’s just as sad as saying goodbye. I have a difficult relationship with death as well as a difficult relationship with my Nana. She’s major part of why I have self confidence issues, an eating disorder, and depression. At the same time she taught me the meaning of love, passion, and credibility. I’m currently relied upon in my family to talk to doctors, extended families, and be a caretaker for my Nana. I’m watching someone I love die before my eyes from cancer. To know I have very limited time left with her, hurts. I just said goodbye to my grandfather now I’m saying say goodbye to my Nana.

In other news… On November 10th, 1990… I was born.

I took some time to be with my friends for the first time in a long time to celebrate and it meant the world. We didn’t talk about the bad stuff just good. I’m currently holding both an A in my Biology and my English 002 classes. I’m studying Morticians for my inquiry project in my English 002 which is honestly pretty morbid giving my current situation that is my life but, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Biology is going to be the R.I.P of me

I swear Biology is going to take me out. I took me 9 HOURS to answer 4 questions on Sunday and an additional 4 HOURS on Monday. While I get everything answered I’m just not understanding. It’s my A.D.H.D brain sits there like Uhhhhh… I’m doing fantastic in my English, I’m exceeding expectations actually. But Biology you guys.. if I got missing you know why, my hypothesis is, it’s all biology’s fault.

So… I’m going to the ER today. Not how I wanted to start my first week of school off but I’m being told that it needs to happen so I’m going to do it. I’m going to think positive and that I’ll be home by the end of the night.

Happy 63rd Birthday Mumma!

I can’t believe you have been gone for 5 Years, 3 Months and 4 Weeks. I miss you so much and it seems like so much has changed in the past year. We have lost so much but also gained a lot as well. Grandpa Earl joined you and it was so hard to say goodbye especially because we lost him to a pandemic that was COVID. We lost Teckla soon after a month to the day to be exact, just a few months later Princess Santi left us. I know the girls are with you and Grandpa playing with Queenie, but it still hurts. I started to hang out with Chelsy again, I know you loved her and her little family so much. She means the world to me. One of the most positive people in my life and gives me something to look forward to. I also go on walks with Roxana and talk about you or just have someone to relate to. I wish you could have met her. She is super amazing and her nail art is just amazing, she is just always blowing me away with her talent. Darian and I still talk a lot, I know you would be happy. I hope to meet up with her soon! Karissa, your niece, she’s pregnant! Ahhhh! I’m so freaking excited, I actually squealed when I found out and leaped out of my chair to hug her as I started to cry. She’s going to make a fantastic mother, I just know it! Also, Erika is pregnant! How amazing is this? Two of your nieces are pregnant! They are both due only a month apart! I can’t wait to see them become mothers! I start school Monday and Mum, I’m going to become a teacher! I never would have thought of myself as a teacher 5 years ago, but a lot changes in 5 years doesn’t it? Brayton is 5 and Quinn is 3. Penelope just turned 8 and Eliza is 6, Chelsy is an amazing Mum, by the way. But time has flown by, and the thing is, I feel like you are here even though you are gone. So as I close this, I want to say, though I’m still sad you left so soon, I know you are still with me. Happy Birthday Mum.

Xoxo,

Katy K.

Hair done? ✔️ New Glasses? ✔️ New Clothes? ✔️

Ready for vacation and to see my Grandma! ☀️

So it’s a good hair day, so I felt I would start this post off with this picture. What is going on? I wound back in the hospital again. Why? Because of all things I was drinking too much water, my blood sugars were too inconsistent, my electrolytes were too low, and I kept getting really bad headaches. I’m not diabetic but I’m currently treating myself as if I am one, with checking mg blood sugar making sure I’m not too low or too high because if it does they want me to come back in. Currently I’m trying to find the perfect electrolyte drink for me that doesn’t have too much sugar because I’ve been doing so good about not consuming sugar. ( I broke that on Friday, I had alcohol with my best friend, than consumed 15 starburst when I came home. It wasn’t even that much alcohol either, it makes me so weird stuff.) I need to stay hydrated, but I don’t want be drinking so much water like I have been it’s crazy. I’m going like 150 oz. a day. Got a lecture from my eye doctor not to wear my glasses, but to wear my contacts so I’m working on it. I just prefer glasses because I don’t have to worry about losing them during the day or them drying out. But yet I go cross eyed in my glasses.

Enough about my health, I hung out with one of best friends Friday night with her husband and kids. I have missed her so much. We are going to try and hang out more, we promised to be in each other’s lives more especially since we live so close to one another now. She’s one of my only friends who actually knew my Mum, what my mum was like, yet still loved my Mum as the same level that I did. We cried about her together it was so therapeutic, especially with her birthday coming up.

As for reading list we are looking at August for them to be coming back, because I just would feel bad to bring them back right now and go on vacation at the end of this month have you guys missing another week or two. So I would say first week of August. If I start before which I would like to, don’t be surprised, I may share some stories here and there. I do want to make an AO3 list for you guys of stories I read on their while I was gone.

I hope you all are having a wonderful summer, staying cool, hydrated, remembering you are very much all loved by me.

Hi, I’m not back right now, but it was just brought to my attention by my friend that dark!fic writers on here are getting some hate and I just want to say something. Just because you write something doesn’t, mean you are a bad person, just because you read something doesn’t, mean you are a bad person either. So many of the writers who I follow and who follow are some of the most amazing people in real life! I started reading dark!fics as a way to cope with what I went through, it was a form of therapy, was it an ideal way? No, but it helped me, deal with my trauma on my terms and honestly I owe a lot to the dark!fic writers. They did more for me than my first 3 therapist did, after the trauma I went through as a teen. Most stories here on tumblr are tagged with trigger warnings (tw’s:) letting you know what to be aware of helping you avoid a story so you don’t read it! As consumers of fanfiction its up to us to block our triggers, to read the descriptions the writers should be giving us (there are some who do not give descriptions, those stories I don’t even bother to read.) and decide if it’s even worth it. Don’t be attacking writers on tumblr, Wattpad, AO3, FF.net or anywhere you consume your content, telling them to off them self, that in itself is triggering and disgusting behavior.

Hey Writer! Keep writing and being your amazing self because I’m so thankful for you for supplying us readers with content, and writing inspiration!

Update!

I’ve missed you all so much, being sick sucks, but I am getting better, changing meds, changing diets and getting to the root cause that keeps winding me back up in the hospital. I went for a 2 mile “hike” today with my best friend Roxana, who also got me out of the house for her birthday on Saturday night. I’ve been bed ridden with anxiety and just depression since getting sick but Roxana and her fiancé Brian have been getting me out of the house along with my Dad. They just are some of the most amazing people. I really do miss a lot of you. @river-soul@bestofbucky@ayybtch I love you 3 so much for checking in on me.

(1) Thursday (10/06/21) - I went to brunch with my dad. (2) Roxana’s Birthday Celebration (05/06/21) (3) I actually did my make for Roxana’s Birthday Dinner and did my hair. (4) 2nd Hospital Stay (5) When there is bomb ass lighting you take advantage of it okay? (6) 3rd or 4th visit to the hospital, I was cheesing my cousin to tell I was visiting. (7) Therapy I had to make a 5 Year Goal to follow up 1 Year Goal, my goals have changed but here is my collage!

Just a quick announcement. There will be no recommendation list this May at all, I’m sorry. I took it to reciprocate and get better from surgery and illnesses that I’m currently facing. But in good news I just got back from walking in the park, it was 2 miles; I haven’t been able to do that since before my surgery.