I have something I wanna say - no one has a right to speak for the whole autistic community. Autism $peaks certainly don’t but nor do I or anyone else. Everyone’s experience of Autism is individual and so are people’s opinions toward it. However, sharing your experiences of autism & opinions is vital in building the community and changing how autism is thought of across the world. I hope I’m adding my voice & experiences to the community but if you feel differently (so long as you are being respectful towards others) to my posts that’s also fine! I am only speaking for me & my view.
Your voice and your experience matters!!!
(Please be kind & respectful towards others though, I do not tolerate abusive comments or threats - thank you)
April 4th: Are there any topics regarding autism that you feel don’t get discussed enough?
Yes, lots! But I think the #1 thing I would like to see discussed more is the problem of infantilization. I want this talked about more because it’s the #1 mistake I see well-meaning allistic people make (especially but not exclusively able-bodied, neurotypical people).
What is infantilization?
To infantilize someone means to “treat [them] as a child or in a way which denies their maturity in age or experience” (from Oxford Languages). Wikipedia calls it “the prolonged treatment of one who has a mental capacity greater than that of a child as though they are a child,” and notes that “Studies have shown that an individual, when infantilized, is overwhelmingly likely to feel disrespected. Such individuals may report a sense of transgression akin to dehumanization.”
What does the infantilization of autistic people look like?
This is not a complete list (my autistic siblings, feel free to add on):
Elevating the voices of parents of autistic kids and allowing them to be the main storytellers of the story of autism (which leads to the story perpetually being about autistic children)
Presuming autistic people are dependent on others to speak and make decisions for them even as adults (I am what most allistics would call “high functioning” and even I have this happen! I’m sure it’s even worse for people who struggle more with masking)
Treating autistic social peers like a young child or a cute dog (I’ve had people use the exact same voice on me that they’d use on pets), instead of true friendship or the respect offered to an equal
Making fun of autistic-like traits but specifically making exceptions for people who are actually autistic, implying both that autistic behavior is worth derision and that we’re too mentally incompetent to be held to the same standards (“Don’t make fun of her for that, she’s autistic!”)
Making a big dealing of autistic people doing regular things (getting a job, getting married, etc)
Portraying our friends, partners, employers, etc as generous saints who only befriend/date/hire us as charity (“oh it’s so nice of her to ask that autistic boy to prom!” or “local shop gives autistic young adult a job!”) rather than because we’re good friends, partners or employees
Thinking autistic people are incapable of understanding or having relationships, including sexual relationships
Not teaching basic sex ed to special ed students, even tho many of them are physically capable and curious like most teens and are more vulnerable to abuse which makes learning about sex even more important
Headcanoning all autistic-coded characters as asexual due to their autistic traits (it is OKAY to have ace autistic characters, but if you headcanon every autistic coded character as ace, ask why—is it bc you see autistic traits as childlike?)
Also in fandom, describing autistic coded characters as “perfect smol beans” or “stupid idiot babies” etc (this happens to ADHD coded characters too)
Talking about autistic people as tho we’re all pure, innocent beings (we’re not anymore than other people, and if we are naive it is often due to information and experiences being kept from us, like autistic kids not being taught about sex)
Basically, if you treat autistic people like oversized children who can’t have real friendships, romantic/sexual relationships, jobs, or other adult accomplishments, and your response to seeing any autistic people doing these things is the attitude of “oh cute, it thinks it’s a person,” you are infantilizing us. Please stop.
Non-autistic people, I would love if you’d reblog this. Like I said, it is the #1 thing I see well-meaning allistic people doing. It is humiliating, degrading, and dehumanizing. Please help more people learn about this so they’ll stop doing it.
This is from last year but it’s worth reblogging, because this problem has not gone away.
