#lots of gay
Word Count: 997
Ships: Prinxiety, logicality, remile, demus
part1/part2/part3/part4/part5/??
Warnings: Mentions of depression, self-hate, crying, coming out
Summary: In which Remy and Damien are supportive friends and care about Roman…
~~ I apologize for taking so long to get out =~=, I felt very unmotivated to finish this fic for awhile I’m so sorry- but expect many more chapters of this in the future!! :D (this one is a little short I apologize)
Recap from part4: “Guys…. I’m gay”
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He had been stripped of the air in his lungs, he felt exposed like he had cut open his chest and was showing them all the bloody parts of himself that he wished weren’t there. He looked down and stared at his thighs, a waterfall of cold tears fell down his face. He didn’t sob or shake, but his words wavered with an unimaginable fear laced within them.
“I’m j-just so tired of…. Lying, and p-pretending, and covering up…” He paused for a moment expecting Damien or Remy to interrupt him to say something like ‘are you sure?’ ‘Since when?’ ‘really? Nice one!’ He waited for them to laugh at him, or make jokes of it but … They didn’t, they waited patiently with eyes pleading for him to continue. They sat there and patiently let Roman take his time, they didn’t dare interrupt him. He couldn’t look at them, though, he was too terrified of what their expressions might be. Roman thought of their faces as disgust, hatred, amusement, or even boredom. Roman continued, “I’m just so exhausted and scared… I’ve been so scared for so long that no one would believe me if I came out, or just assume it was a-an attention grab,” he sobbed quietly, so relieved yet so devastated that this was out in the open “b-but I’m just too tired to care anymore…” He covered his face as he sobbed quietly. Waiting for them to say something, anything….
They were silent. Remy was the first one to move, wrapping his arms protectively and lovingly around Roman, then Damien as he hooked his arms around Roman’s waist in an attempt to comfort him. They both understood the fears of coming out, but they were absolutely stunned to see how long Roman had carried this with him. It had boiled within him for so long. They heard the guilt and self-loathing in Roman’s voice and it broke their hearts, they couldn’t stand to see their best friend in this state. Remy could tell that he had carried this like a weight on his shoulders for a long time, Remy was the first to speak.
“Ro, hon… We’re your friends, of course we would believe you. We know how hard it can be coming out. It’s okay, we still love you. You don’t have to pretend.” His voice was smooth and soft, like a parent comforting a child who scraped their knee for the first time, only Roman wasn’t exactly a child, and his wounds were much deeper than a simple scraped knee. Roman’s wounds were deep and emotional, wounds that he had hidden for so long and now he is finally lifting up his bandages for Remy and Damien to inspect the damage done by years of self hatred. Roman always acted so confident and over the top, they could have never imagined that he had been carrying this with him. He truly was an amazing actor. Remy rubbed comforting circles on Roman’s back.
Damien had no idea why Roman had felt he needed to keep this from them, he also had no idea what to say but he made up for his lack of words with physical comfort. He squeezed Roman’s waist, offering some grounding touch. He may not be the best with words or emotions but he did his best to give Roman what he needed. They sat there, huddled up against Roman offering words of encouragement as he sobbed quietly between their arms. Roman felt a weight lifted off of his shoulders, but that relief was short lived as a new found fear quickly made its way into his shaking bones.
“Please… Don’t tell anyone else… I- I don’t think I’m ready for that…”, Roman’s voice was soft and broken, almost a whisper as Remy and Damien had to strain to hear him.
Remy gave Roman a comforting smile, it was sweet, true, worried, and caring and it almost made Roman forget how absolutely terrified of this he was.
Remy answered him with unwavering support, “Of course, this is something very personal for you Ro. We would never tell anyone without your consent”
Damien said nodding, “Yeah, we would never out you to anyone Ro.”
That sat in calm silence for a few moments as the only sounds that filled the room were Roman’s soft sobs and sniffles. The silence was soft, not demanding to be filled, they just enjoyed the presence of each other. Especially Roman, as he bathed in the short lived euphoria this acceptance had given him. It was warm and tranquil, Roman eventually calmed himself of sobbing as he settled into just quietly sniffling. The quiet calmness of the room eventually lulled Roman into a slumber. Damien and Remy shared a pained look, both equally worried about the mental well being of their best friend. Roman was so loved by everyone in their friend group, he always wore a smile, so loud and happy, they had no idea that his seemingly never ending happiness had been an act. He always talked about taking up acting as a future career, but they would have never guessed that he was already doing it full time. Neither Remy nor Damien were going to even broach the topic of Roman coming out to the rest of their friend group, they didn’t want to rush him with anything. Even though they could see that this secret was killing him emotionally. They would possibly encourage him that everyone would accept him, but nothing further than that.
Eventually the calm silence had taken Remy and Damien off into slumber as well.
Roman didn’t know what tomorrow would hold, he didn’t know how he was going to approach the idea of Remy and Damien knowing his secret, he didn’t know how he was going to deal with the feelings. The only thing that Roman knew for sure now is that the memory foam bed felt damn comfortable on his heart ache.
~ To be continued
I am so so so so sorry for taking so long with this chapter, but I hope you enjoy it! It is a very hurt/comfort type fic, I hope you enjoy Remy being a mom friend lol :D This fic had been really fun to make so far and I look forward to writing more of it in the future, so I hope you’ll keep reading >///< I love you guys so much and I hope you liked this part!!
:3
Taglist~ <3
