Seriously though I imagine that Hobbits are like masters of the polite fiction. They clearly love to gossip and tell tales, but they also really love the idea of nothing actually disrupting their leisurely, quiet lives, so you figure when they decide that not talking about something is required to do that, nobody talks about it. They pick themselves a nice little delusion and by god they stick to it.
Like this other thought I had once was that there’s this Dwarf that used to come by and visit Bilbo, probably one of the many cousins and relations of Thorin’s Company. And he kind of falls in love with the Shire and is like “That’s it, I’m retiring here.”
A Dwarf. Living in the Shire.
People don’t emigrate to the Shire. It’s not done! Hobbits can move from one part of the Shire to another, but you don’t have something else entirely move to it from outside of it!
Except it would be abominably, beastly rude to actually tell him that. “No, you can’t live here”, what, are we animals? Beasts? Orcs? Plus, uh, he’s kind of fucking rich. Like, really rich. Like he just plunked down a good three times what a hill is actually worth because he says it has “good bones”.
So everyone decides, for the sake of the peace, for the sake of their own minds…
… he is a Hobbit.
Hairiest Hobbit you ever saw. With a weirdly deep hole. Yeah people have been in that sucker and it just keeps. Going. Down. A weird distance down. Lot of stonework. But that there is Mr. Talbin Ironnails the Hobbit. Mm-hmm. Oh, the beard’s just a bit of an eccentricity, don’t mind him.
Need some metalwork done? Why, you want ol’ Talbin! Best Hobbit you’ve ever seen with a hammer and tongs. Dwarf? No, no, who ever heard of a Dwarf living in the Shire! That’s just old Talbin! Bit on the tall side, but don’t be intimidated at all.
Oh dear, wolves you say? Well, let’s go ask ol’ Talbin if he can take care of it. Once took a wolf’s head clean off with what we’re very sure was a very fancy woodsman’s axe, what with the long metal haft and two heads. Must have a bit of Took in him, does ol’ Talbin. Explains why he’s so odd, eh? Eh?
Beer? Drink you under the table, ol’ Talbin will! Why, some say he has the constitution of a Dwarf, ha ha ha! HE’S NOT THOUGH.
Between this and the “half goblin, half hobbit” post going around, I have to wonder how odd the Took ancestor’s “fairy” wife must have been that people actually remarked on her.
what do you MEAN I have to finish writing the fic before I can receive praise and feedback?? why can’t I just pry my brain out, shake it at my laptop until the fully-formed fic comes loose, then gently blow off the brain and pop it back in like a fuckign gameboy cartridge
So, I’m watching LOTR for the first time and decided to rate each member of the fellowship as seen in The Fellowship of the Ring. Pls keep in mind that this review is objectively correct and completely factual. I will not be taking any constructive criticism at this time.
Aragorn: literally perfect in every way which I think should dock him a point but I will let it slide. Potentially the only competent person alive on middle earth. Does the right thing always. 10/10
Sam: most competent hobbit by FAR. Has a heart made of the purest gold. I want to kiss him. 22/10
Frodo: taking points away because I think people are too nice to him. Keeps trying to give the ring to ppl bc he just trusts whoever the tallest person in the room is. Hogs the magic items. Only person to figure out the “friend” puzzle and I think he is neat so 7/10
Merry: I like that he always corrects pippin but is never actually mean to him. Srs bsnss face lot of the times, looks a little too angry for someone who can’t fight for shit. 7/10
Pippin: I like him :3 11/10
Boromir: yeah he loses points for being a dick but he is the one true hobbit ally. More scenes of him holding a hobbit than not. Wasn’t able to save them :(( but he inspired Aragorn to realize that men and Gondor are worth saving and to believe in his own strength. has a nice smile. 7/10
Gimli: he’s hot but so far that’s about it ! Himbo thinks he can destroy the ring w an axe which is very sexy but also useless. most fuckable party member by far. 8/10
Legolas: just fucking prances around like a useless twink. His elf eyes haven’t helped us for shit so far. Very obvious that he COULD be more competent and chooses not to. He is pretty. 9/10
Gandalf: shittiest wizard I’ve ever seen. Casts like NO spells. Lost in the wizard battle. Didn’t know the answer to the puzzle he led them too. Has so much knowledge he refuses to share. Probably high. 4/10
Sometimes I like to think about the fact that R2D2 knew exactly who everyone was throughout the entirety of the original trilogy and never thought to tell anyone, even Luke, any useful information, like, say, the identity of his father.
honestly the only reason I can think of for R2, resident chaos gremlin and nonsense enabler, not telling Luke something that would at least result in some shenanigans, if not outright pandemonium, is that Obi-Wan was threatening him from beyond the grave, but that would mean that droids can see Force ghosts and I don’t have the strength to get into the messed up implications of that
one of my favourite ways to engage with any given fandom is exclusively via the content shared by one mutual. I don’t know Anything about the source material but by god you’re right, my friend, your otp is literally the pinnacle of all shipping. your fave character is the best character ever. I love you and trust that all of your opinions are completely and objectively correct on this subject
Finally a good look of space wars Novel it appear in season 3
it appear in Ezra’s room and it hair cut of the women look like Sabine’s hair season 3
Looks like Obi-Wan Kenobi from TCW…. hrmmmmm….
It looks like the early Ralph McQuarrie concepts for Luke and Han (originally a lady)
I agree—the cover of this Space Wars novel/magazine is probably meant to be a fun easter egg for folks familiar with the early McQuarrie concept art. I can absolutely buy that Han might have been meant to be a woman at one point in time, but Luke was definitely a woman in the second draft (1975), which is when the illustrations above were created… and despite the lightsaber in the man’s hand in the pictures above, he’s meant to be Han rather than Luke.
(The Making of Star Wars, pg. 41: “Han Solo is in the blue cape,” McQuarrie says. “It was simply an atmosphere sketch, a symbol for the film, a logo, which would capture the feeling of the film. It was almost like a one-sheet artwork, depicting the five main characters. And that was when Luke was a girl. George liked this Chewbacca, but I suppose he thought it could be a little more weird, and he decided to take off the flak jacket.” [One of the captions on the right in itsy-bitsy blurry writing specifically notes that the bottom right illustration “featured a bearded Han Solo with lightsaber, the Death Star, and the girl-with-no-name.” The caption for the black-and-white sketch says that it depicts “Han Solo and Luke-as-girl character.”])
(The Making of Star Wars, pg: 40: “A McQuarrie sketch shows concepts for the Luke-as-girl character.”)
Imagine if the hero on the cover was meant to be an in-universe thinly-disguised version of Obi-Wan lmao. Is the blonde woman supposed to be Satine or an author self-insert? Either way, it’s hilarious to me and I kind of want to read and/or write fic about it now.
