#matsukawa fluff
Reader:F
Character:Issei Matsukawa
Rating:M
Summary:It was fairly easy to never eat again for you. You deeply believed that not eating was a vital to your self control, that there would be all these benefits to not being what you considered a ‘glutton’. But your boyfriend sees things differently.
Warning:Minor Angst, Fluff, Implied Eating Disorder, Food
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You struggled with eating for years, sometimes your mom’s words got into your head about your weight and eating habits. So most of the time you didn’t eat, you thought it was better this way. It’s fine if you didn’t eat, you were just showing self restraint. It was fine, right?
It was a pretty terrible depressive episode you were going through, when you went for your shower earlier that day, you took a good look at yourself in the mirror and felt horrified by what you saw. The stretch marks, the what you considered lumps. It really set you back from taking a bite of much of anything and you spent the rest of day in bed. Curled up on your side, where you felt very hyper aware about your rolls and folds.
Matsukawa’s voice tried to rung in your head about how you looked fine but there was no avail to the other half of yourself that was an onslaught of negative thoughts. How could Matsukawa find you attractive? You were just so painfully ugly, maybe if you lost weight maybe he’d find you more attractive. Guys liked skinny girls.
“Ugly idiot.” You muttered to yourself as you laid in bed and pinched at you stomach fat that was peeking out from your rolled up shirt.
You laid in bed most of the day, when you had to get up to use the bathroom. You shielded your eyes form yourself, refusing to take another glance at yourself. You knew fully well that it would just make it worse, and you ignored all the hunger pains you had.
“Stop being gluttonous.” You grumbled to yourself as you washed your hands and went back to bed. You were developing a headache from the lack of food and you felt weakened, but you kept going.
By the time Matsukawa came home from work, you were still curled in bed with the blankets over your head and the curtains drawn. You were sleepy but unable to sleep, you felt so exhausted despite not doing much of anything.
When your boyfriend called out, “Baby, I got us take out.” You wanted to shrink into yourself. You weren’t supposed to eat! You were supposed to not eat and get skinny so you’d be loveable.
But the smell of cooked meat and rice wafted through the air of the apartment and made you empty stomach growl. When the door to the bedroom opened, you heard Matsukawa’s voice, “Are you okay, baby?”
“I’m fine.” You replied.
“Are you sure, you’re lying in bed with the curtains drawn.” He put the bag down on the desk and sat beside you on the bed. He rubbed your arm and leaned over to kiss yourself.
You sighed, “Do you think I’m ugly?” And rolled over to look at him with tears in your eyes. You sniffled, “Do you think I’m painfully fat?”
“Baby, you’re barely even fat.” He responded honestly, “Did you not eat today?”
You shook your head, “Wasn’t hungry.” You sighed into your pillow, “Plus it’s for the best, if I don’t eat. I’ll get skinny.”
“No, no, no.” He said. He took you by the hand and pulled you to sit up in bed, “We’re eating, I got us take out and I’m not going to let your starve because you’re listening to that bad voice in your head.”
“Mattsun.” You remarked, “I just wanna be pretty.”
“No way.” He said, “You’re more than just pretty, you’re beautiful. And beautiful girls need some calories in them.” He pulled you out of bed and made sure you got your slippers on before he grabbed the bag of food with one hand and your hand with the other.
When you got the kitchen, he sat you down and got everything onto plates. You noticed that he was taking meat off of his meal and putting it on yours, including some of the extra pieces of vegetables and even an extra dumpling. When he served you, you tried to put the meat back on his bowl, but he refused, picking it up and feeding it to you.
“I won’t let you starve, baby.” He warned, “So don’t try. Eat up.”
There was noice point in fighting back against Matsukawa, he was right. You did need to eat up and get some calories in your body to burn energy. The body needed energy and your body desperately needed some.
You slowly ate, absorbing the delicious taste of the grilled meat and the sauce that got mixed into the white rice. Matsukawa reached out on occasion and rubbed your arm in comfort, just in case you were becoming insecure about how much you were eating.
The smile on his face and those sleepy eyes told you that you were doing great and he was proud of you for eating. Bit by bit you believed a little bit more that you weren’t fat or gross, that you wouldn’t solve all your problems by never eating again. You body needed to nutrients and you wouldn’t automatically become more loveable if you got super skinny. Plus Matsukawa liked some meat on his girl’s bones, all the more reason to love you.
You struggled with eating for years, sometimes your mom’s words got into your head about your weight and eating habits. So most of the time you didn’t eat, you thought it was better this way. It’s fine if you didn’t eat, you were just showing self restraint. It was fine, right?
It was a pretty terrible depressive episode you were going through, when you went for your shower earlier that day, you took a good look at yourself in the mirror and felt horrified by what you saw. The stretch marks, the what you considered lumps. It really set you back from taking a bite of much of anything and you spent the rest of day in bed. Curled up on your side, where you felt very hyper aware about your rolls and folds.
Matsukawa’s voice tried to rung in your head about how you looked fine but there was no avail to the other half of yourself that was an onslaught of negative thoughts. How could Matsukawa find you attractive? You were just so painfully ugly, maybe if you lost weight maybe he’d find you more attractive. Guys liked skinny girls.
“Ugly idiot.” You muttered to yourself as you laid in bed and pinched at you stomach fat that was peeking out from your rolled up shirt.
You laid in bed most of the day, when you had to get up to use the bathroom. You shielded your eyes form yourself, refusing to take another glance at yourself. You knew fully well that it would just make it worse, and you ignored all the hunger pains you had.
“Stop being gluttonous.” You grumbled to yourself as you washed your hands and went back to bed. You were developing a headache from the lack of food and you felt weakened, but you kept going.
By the time Matsukawa came home from work, you were still curled in bed with the blankets over your head and the curtains drawn. You were sleepy but unable to sleep, you felt so exhausted despite not doing much of anything.
When your boyfriend called out, “Baby, I got us take out.” You wanted to shrink into yourself. You weren’t supposed to eat! You were supposed to not eat and get skinny so you’d be loveable.
But the smell of cooked meat and rice wafted through the air of the apartment and made you empty stomach growl. When the door to the bedroom opened, you heard Matsukawa’s voice, “Are you okay, baby?”
“I’m fine.” You replied.
“Are you sure, you’re lying in bed with the curtains drawn.” He put the bag down on the desk and sat beside you on the bed. He rubbed your arm and leaned over to kiss yourself.
You sighed, “Do you think I’m ugly?” And rolled over to look at him with tears in your eyes. You sniffled, “Do you think I’m painfully fat?”
“Baby, you’re barely even fat.” He responded honestly, “Did you not eat today?”
You shook your head, “Wasn’t hungry.” You sighed into your pillow, “Plus it’s for the best, if I don’t eat. I’ll get skinny.”
“No, no, no.” He said. He took you by the hand and pulled you to sit up in bed, “We’re eating, I got us take out and I’m not going to let your starve because you’re listening to that bad voice in your head.”
“Mattsun.” You remarked, “I just wanna be pretty.”
“No way.” He said, “You’re more than just pretty, you’re beautiful. And beautiful girls need some calories in them.” He pulled you out of bed and made sure you got your slippers on before he grabbed the bag of food with one hand and your hand with the other.
When you got to the kitchen, he sat you down and got everything onto plates. You noticed that he was taking meat off of his meal and putting it on yours, including some of the extra pieces of vegetables and even an extra dumpling. When he served you, you tried to put the meat back on his bowl, but he refused, picking it up and feeding it to you.
“I won’t let you starve, baby.” He warned, “So don’t try. Eat up.”
There was noice point in fighting back against Matsukawa, he was right. You did need to eat up and get some calories in your body to burn energy. The body needed energy and your body desperately needed some.
You slowly ate, absorbing the delicious taste of the grilled meat and the sauce that got mixed into the white rice. Matsukawa reached out on occasion and rubbed your arm in comfort, just in case you were becoming insecure about how much you were eating.
The smile on his face and those sleepy eyes told you that you were doing great and he was proud of you for eating. Bit by bit you believed a little bit more that you weren’t fat or gross, that you wouldn’t solve all your problems by never eating again. You body needed to nutrients and you wouldn’t automatically become more loveable if you got super skinny. Plus Matsukawa liked some meat on his girl’s bones, all the more reason to love you.
warnings: n/a, college au, gn!reader
❣︎anon: ca-can I request Mattsun or Iwa with a girlfriend who can fall asleep anywhere and everywhere. or like when they go to visit here at her house she’s always buried under 5-10 blankets.
❥iwaizumi hajime:
☽ the type to come barging into your room after a full day of college with a huge frown on his face
☽ “why the hell weren’t you at college today?” he demands roughly. and even though he’s annoyed you’re missing your classes, he can’t help but feel his heart flutter when you rise from the heap of blankets smothering you, hair messy and a sleepy smile on your face
☽ “hm, i overslept.” you mumble groggily. “but i did my assignments, i promise.” and iwaizumi can’t help but laugh quietly when he realises you probably went straight back to sleep after finishing your work
☽ likes to snuggle in bed with you, loving when you rest your head on his chest as he goes on his phone, telling you about his day whilst you sleepily hum in acknowledgement
☽ he doesn’t really nap but he’ll cuddle you as you do and being a human heater, you end up shedding the blankets. but if he ends up leaving to go back to his own place, he’ll tuck you back in neatly with all the blankets, giving your sleeping form a kiss on the head
☽ iwaizumi’s a bit more strict when you fall asleep everywhere- if you’re in class or at the cinema, he won’t hesitate to nudge you awake, giving a sharp eye but once they’re over you can sleep for as long as you’d like
☽ absolutely adores when you fall asleep on him during car rides or on public transport, he’ll carefully position your head on his shoulder so your neck won’t ache and will enjoy feeling protective of you and trusted by you
❥matsukawa issei:
☽ i kinda headcanon him as sleepy and lazy himself so if you’re cancelling a date because you’re tired, matsukawa won’t hesitate to respond with ‘lol mood’
☽ whenever you fall asleep in class or at the library or during film night, initially matsukawa will find you adorable and coo at your sleeping form
☽ but then he’ll take it as an opportunity to have his fun- he’ll take selfies with your drooling face and record your snores to play it back to you or blow on your face to snicker at how you twitch but he’ll never wake you up out of your slumber, eventually positioning you properly so you don’t get aches
☽ he’ll definitely buy you a travel neck pillow as a heartwarming gift or fluffy blankets
☽ after a long day of class, matsukawa will always invite himself back to yours and the two of you will just get into bed, burying yourselves under the pile of blankets to have a nap
☽ mutual friends can never reach either of you because you’re both always asleep together
☽ whilst you’re both waiting for slumber to take you, matsukawa will either playfight with you, using the cushion and blankets as leverage or he’ll have soft, emotional chats with you, gazing at you so sweetly till your eyelids finally close
☽ if you fall asleep on public transport, matsukawa jokes that he won’t wake you up and will let you miss your stop but he never does
