Reader:F
Character:Issei Matsukawa
Rating:M
Summary:It was fairly easy to never eat again for you. You deeply believed that not eating was a vital to your self control, that there would be all these benefits to not being what you considered a ‘glutton’. But your boyfriend sees things differently.
Warning:Minor Angst, Fluff, Implied Eating Disorder, Food
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You struggled with eating for years, sometimes your mom’s words got into your head about your weight and eating habits. So most of the time you didn’t eat, you thought it was better this way. It’s fine if you didn’t eat, you were just showing self restraint. It was fine, right?

It was a pretty terrible depressive episode you were going through, when you went for your shower earlier that day, you took a good look at yourself in the mirror and felt horrified by what you saw. The stretch marks, the what you considered lumps. It really set you back from taking a bite of much of anything and you spent the rest of day in bed. Curled up on your side, where you felt very hyper aware about your rolls and folds. 

Matsukawa’s voice tried to rung in your head about how you looked fine but there was no avail to the other half of yourself that was an onslaught of negative thoughts. How could Matsukawa find you attractive? You were just so painfully ugly, maybe if you lost weight maybe he’d find you more attractive. Guys liked skinny girls.

  “Ugly idiot.” You muttered to yourself as you laid in bed and pinched at you stomach fat that was peeking out from your rolled up shirt. 

You laid in bed most of the day, when you had to get up to use the bathroom. You shielded your eyes form yourself, refusing to take another glance at yourself. You knew fully well that it would just make it worse, and you ignored all the hunger pains you had. 

  “Stop being gluttonous.” You grumbled to yourself as you washed your hands and went back to bed. You were developing a headache from the lack of food and you felt weakened, but you kept going.

By the time Matsukawa came home from work, you were still curled in bed with the blankets over your head and the curtains drawn. You were sleepy but unable to sleep, you felt so exhausted despite not doing much of anything.

When your boyfriend called out, “Baby, I got us take out.” You wanted to shrink into yourself. You weren’t supposed to eat! You were supposed to not eat and get skinny so you’d be loveable. 

But the smell of cooked meat and rice wafted through the air of the apartment and made you empty stomach growl. When the door to the bedroom opened, you heard Matsukawa’s voice, “Are you okay, baby?” 

  “I’m fine.” You replied. 

  “Are you sure, you’re lying in bed with the curtains drawn.” He put the bag down on the desk and sat beside you on the bed. He rubbed your arm and leaned over to kiss yourself.

You sighed, “Do you think I’m ugly?” And rolled over to look at him with tears in your eyes. You sniffled, “Do you think I’m painfully fat?”

  “Baby, you’re barely even fat.” He responded honestly, “Did you not eat today?”

You shook your head, “Wasn’t hungry.” You sighed into your pillow, “Plus it’s for the best, if I don’t eat. I’ll get skinny.” 

  “No, no, no.” He said. He took you by the hand and pulled you to sit up in bed, “We’re eating, I got us take out and I’m not going to let your starve because you’re listening to that bad voice in your head.” 

  “Mattsun.” You remarked, “I just wanna be pretty.”

  “No way.” He said, “You’re more than just pretty, you’re beautiful. And beautiful girls need some calories in them.” He pulled you out of bed and made sure you got your slippers on before he grabbed the bag of food with one hand and your hand with the other.

When you got the kitchen, he sat you down and got everything onto plates. You noticed that he was taking meat off of his meal and putting it on yours, including some of the extra pieces of vegetables and even an extra dumpling. When he served you, you tried to put the meat back on his bowl, but he refused, picking it up and feeding it to you.

  “I won’t let you starve, baby.” He warned, “So don’t try. Eat up.”

There was noice point in fighting back against Matsukawa, he was right. You did need to eat up and get some calories in your body to burn energy. The body needed energy and your body desperately needed some. 

You slowly ate, absorbing the delicious taste of the grilled meat and the sauce that got mixed into the white rice. Matsukawa reached out on occasion and rubbed your arm in comfort, just in case you were becoming insecure about how much you were eating.

The smile on his face and those sleepy eyes told you that you were doing great and he was proud of you for eating. Bit by bit you believed a little bit more that you weren’t fat or gross, that you wouldn’t solve all your problems by never eating again. You body needed to nutrients and you wouldn’t automatically become more loveable if you got super skinny. Plus Matsukawa liked some meat on his girl’s bones, all the more reason to love you.

You struggled with eating for years, sometimes your mom’s words got into your head about your weight and eating habits. So most of the time you didn’t eat, you thought it was better this way. It’s fine if you didn’t eat, you were just showing self restraint. It was fine, right?

It was a pretty terrible depressive episode you were going through, when you went for your shower earlier that day, you took a good look at yourself in the mirror and felt horrified by what you saw. The stretch marks, the what you considered lumps. It really set you back from taking a bite of much of anything and you spent the rest of day in bed. Curled up on your side, where you felt very hyper aware about your rolls and folds. 

Matsukawa’s voice tried to rung in your head about how you looked fine but there was no avail to the other half of yourself that was an onslaught of negative thoughts. How could Matsukawa find you attractive? You were just so painfully ugly, maybe if you lost weight maybe he’d find you more attractive. Guys liked skinny girls.

  “Ugly idiot.” You muttered to yourself as you laid in bed and pinched at you stomach fat that was peeking out from your rolled up shirt. 

You laid in bed most of the day, when you had to get up to use the bathroom. You shielded your eyes form yourself, refusing to take another glance at yourself. You knew fully well that it would just make it worse, and you ignored all the hunger pains you had. 

  “Stop being gluttonous.” You grumbled to yourself as you washed your hands and went back to bed. You were developing a headache from the lack of food and you felt weakened, but you kept going.

By the time Matsukawa came home from work, you were still curled in bed with the blankets over your head and the curtains drawn. You were sleepy but unable to sleep, you felt so exhausted despite not doing much of anything.

When your boyfriend called out, “Baby, I got us take out.” You wanted to shrink into yourself. You weren’t supposed to eat! You were supposed to not eat and get skinny so you’d be loveable. 

But the smell of cooked meat and rice wafted through the air of the apartment and made you empty stomach growl. When the door to the bedroom opened, you heard Matsukawa’s voice, “Are you okay, baby?” 

  “I’m fine.” You replied. 

  “Are you sure, you’re lying in bed with the curtains drawn.” He put the bag down on the desk and sat beside you on the bed. He rubbed your arm and leaned over to kiss yourself.

You sighed, “Do you think I’m ugly?” And rolled over to look at him with tears in your eyes. You sniffled, “Do you think I’m painfully fat?”

  “Baby, you’re barely even fat.” He responded honestly, “Did you not eat today?”

You shook your head, “Wasn’t hungry.” You sighed into your pillow, “Plus it’s for the best, if I don’t eat. I’ll get skinny.” 

  “No, no, no.” He said. He took you by the hand and pulled you to sit up in bed, “We’re eating, I got us take out and I’m not going to let your starve because you’re listening to that bad voice in your head.” 

  “Mattsun.” You remarked, “I just wanna be pretty.”

  “No way.” He said, “You’re more than just pretty, you’re beautiful. And beautiful girls need some calories in them.” He pulled you out of bed and made sure you got your slippers on before he grabbed the bag of food with one hand and your hand with the other.

When you got to the kitchen, he sat you down and got everything onto plates. You noticed that he was taking meat off of his meal and putting it on yours, including some of the extra pieces of vegetables and even an extra dumpling. When he served you, you tried to put the meat back on his bowl, but he refused, picking it up and feeding it to you.

  “I won’t let you starve, baby.” He warned, “So don’t try. Eat up.”

There was noice point in fighting back against Matsukawa, he was right. You did need to eat up and get some calories in your body to burn energy. The body needed energy and your body desperately needed some. 

You slowly ate, absorbing the delicious taste of the grilled meat and the sauce that got mixed into the white rice. Matsukawa reached out on occasion and rubbed your arm in comfort, just in case you were becoming insecure about how much you were eating.

The smile on his face and those sleepy eyes told you that you were doing great and he was proud of you for eating. Bit by bit you believed a little bit more that you weren’t fat or gross, that you wouldn’t solve all your problems by never eating again. You body needed to nutrients and you wouldn’t automatically become more loveable if you got super skinny. Plus Matsukawa liked some meat on his girl’s bones, all the more reason to love you.

THE HQ BOYS FORGET ABOUT YOUR DATE

featuring ; matsukawa issei, kuroo tetsuro, bokuto kotarou, akaashi keiji

warnings ; slight angst/hurt, eventual comfort, crying

notes ; it’s been a while since i updated you guys, think of this as my check in. i hope you’re all doing well !

MATTSUNexperienced that uncomfortable feeling of dread filling his senses at around six thirty, approximately an entire hour late from your scheduled dinner date. the restaurant he picked out, the outfit you had bought specifically for this rare occasion. wasted. yet he didn’t realize until he happened to open his messages, your pinned number causing him to leap from the loveseat in terror. he messed up big time. your beautiful face crumbling with sadness sent him dizzy in distress. the frazzled man disregarding his usual belongings to run to the place, evening lights twinkling with the dimmed lighting; elevating the romantic atmosphere. “baby i’m so so-“ however, the apology was cut off when you shoved past him—soft sniffles heard. “if you have time to apologize, you surely had time to show up.” you hissed, not sparing a single glance at issei. after that, he trailed behind you on the way home—downcast. the sounds of your crying haunting him from the living room. he was giving you space, but this was killing him. “i made your favorite dish, come out so we can talk-“ once again, the words frothing in his throat dissolved upon impact. your face hidden in his t-shirt. “you jerk, don’t you ever do that again or i will not hesitate to cut off your hands and feet.” he stood in stunned silence. “alright then, am i forgiven ?” — “not a chance.”

KUROO was fully immersed in his job, and you couldn’t be happier for him. except for the portion which required him to be away for long periods of time. apparently, the at-home movie date was long forgotten. because tetsuro was a no show. the thought of calling him left your lip quivering. this could possibly be one of the only times you get to see him this week and your patience and resilience was running thin. finger pressing the call, listening to the dial tone with absolute silence—emotions in an overflow. but the anger bubbling quickly dissipated when the fluid and ear numbing voice was heard. his. “..how could you forget ?” your voice cracked, crucially unhelpful. “that’s it ! tonight was the movie night wasn’t it ?” he bit his lip, guilt eating his heart alive. “it was.” you finished, hands shaking as you held the phone—struggling to keep it together. “it’s okay kitten, i hear you, i can’t even explain how sorry i am, let it out i’m here.” he hushed, easing your choked sobs. he stayed on the phone with you all the way to the door, enveloping you in his arms while gently rubbing your back. “how about my neighbor totoro ?” you gasped in air. “that sounds okay.” he smiled weakly, kissing your lips. “anything for you.”

BOKUTO grinned form ear to ear, this smile was most definitely not as large as it was when gazing at you—but impressive in the least. his power was phenomenal and this practice was proving simple. kotarou’s gained skill over the years bringing him to this moment. he was obsessed. although no matter how deeply he adores volleyball, you took first. today though the ace was fully charged. mind straying from the picnic date set up forty minutes ago. “that one was the best !” he shouted with glee, fists clenching pridefully. his mini celebration cut short at the gym doors being opened. there you stood, gorgeous as ever in your newly purchased sun-dress. “how’d the practice go ?” you quietly exclaimed, eyes saddened. automatically he ran to you, noting the picnic basket in your hands. “sweets i forgot i’m sorry honey i—“ the look on your face unreadable. “can we start this day over ?” he mumbled, fiddling with his fingers. “just take me on a date you oaf, and if you forget next time i’m not going to your next game.” he brightened first, then paled at the later add in. “that’s easy peasy then.” he smirked triumphantly, hands on his hips. “mhm i bet it is.” you hummed, brows lifted in amusement. ‘honey.’ you haven’t heard that one before.

AKAASHI is a busy man. from filing reports to his editing career, his life at the moment is an endless loophole of assignment after assignment. spacing out hardly any time given to spend with you. today was a breakfast day. a day he reserved especially for you, only for you. to go out and eat early and to return to your comfy abode to lay in bed, simply conversing. nevertheless, his internal alarm clock filtered on his job, waking up beside you to leave a peck on your forehead before walking to the subway station. regular routine. funny enough, this one was a close call. a very close call. seated in his office chair, your text affirmed on the screen. ‘where are you ?’ the memories drowning keiji in a huge tsunami. recollections of yesterdays excitement crashing into him. ‘went to the store, hang tight love.’ and just as fast as he’d entered the building he exited. with the small white lie discarded. déjà vu passing by at the familiar bedrooms entities. “you weren’t actually at the store we’re you ?” surveying his coat with a sleepy smile gracing your angelic face. “no, but i’m here now.” he puckered, glancing away from embarrassment. “close call.” he hovered above you, breathy kisses devouring your neck. “but i made it.” you chuckled, his lips tickling your jaw. “that you did.”

-maak

plagiarism, repost, and editing is prohibited

vampires night out - matsukawa issei

a/n: normal mattsun monday piece but this time its horror and i’m going nuts. BUT HAPPY MATTSUN MONDAY!! based on the harley poe song of the same title

genre: horror

word count: .7k

warnings: descriptions of blood. mattsun’s a vampire and a flirt. he wants to kill ya but in a weird sexy way where he just made out with you and now wants to suck all of your blood. i dont know why i wrote this..

pairing: vampire!mattsun x gn!reader

enjoy?? i promise my next thing wont be as bonkers LMAO

“College kid like you, with nothin’ to do, let’s go back to my place and I’ll show you a thing or two,” his words lingered in the air like a scented candle. His lips fell into a smirk. His eyes were a piercing shade of blue, but they were practically black with the intent behind them. He was always so, well, you didn’t really know. You didn’t really know him. 

He approached you at a bar, six feet of muscle overpowering every little part of your body, and chatted you up for a second. There was nothing particularly cruel about his mannerisms or intent–nothing scary about him–but maybe that was wishful thinking. Besides, he was hot, that was a plus in every regard. His aura was full of holes though, masked with confidence and intensity. 

There was something strange about the man you grew to know as Matsukawa Issei. He was normal, sure, but the things he said in hushed tones seemed to speak louder. You only knew him for one hour before you were in his apartment on the opposite side of town. 

His pisces sun made him malleable. He could go from one mindset to another at the drop of a hat, pulling a complete one-eighty within seconds. He was intense, but not without his moments of quiet composure. He was mostly moments of quiet composure. Nothing about him was out of place, but that was all seen within moments of meeting him. Reading him was easy, or so you thought.

He was intriguing. Interesting. Fun. He seemed tame and fine, but powerful enough for a good time. Powerful enough to keep you reeling afterwards. Powerful enough to have some fun with you

Clothing dripped to the floor like a roaring waterfall as the whole room heated up, and there was nothing mistaking the way the night was heading, until he

Well

Let the fangs come out.

He was practically a gentleman about it, really. He let the air get hot and heavy before making you question every last second of your time with him. He let things seem interesting before scaring you into oblivion, poking your bottom lip with a sword made of bone between deep kisses. 

“I said, I don’t want you. I want your blood,” Mattsun laid on his back, propping his incredibly well toned body up with his elbows. There was a drop of blood on his lip that he quickly wiped away, biting the pink skin and winking to turn the heat back up. Was this guy delusional?

“What the fuck?”

“Seems perfectly reasonable to me,” he shrugged, “I’m at the top of the food chain, baby, and in my world you don’t have a voice.”

You stood there, almost completely naked, absolutely perplexed. But why won’t you leave? Why aren’t you running away? Was he not scary enough?

“Do you think I’m bluffing?” He moved a bit, holding himself up now with his hands, biceps flexing under the weight of his upper body. The deep yellows fluttering around the room were borderline delicious, especially what they were doing to his abs. Are you too horny to leave?

“Because I’m not. It’s nothin’ personal but you gotta do what you gotta do.” He scoffed. “Besides, you shouldn’t complain, in a world where death is so much gain.”

“Matsukawa.”

“Yeah, sweetcheeks?” He flashes his fangs once more, rubbing one with a finger like he was polishing it before work. 

“What are you?”

“A vampire? I’m surprised you didn’t notice. I’m also surprised you’re not running, actually, most people don’t let me get through my spiel first.” Issei let out a breathy chuckle, carding his fingers through his hair and sewing his eyes shut. “You were in the wrong bar on the wrong night. These’re the cards you were dealt, so why fight?” 

A singular bedside lamp lit up the studio apartment, boxy walls reflecting soft shades of yellow on everything. In a moment of panic, you looked around, noticing small splatters of blood and deeper stains on a few white shirts. He was at home, bits of his duvet more worn out than others–likely due to insistent washing out bloodstains. 

“You seem like a nice girl, so I’ll let you go, but not without tryin to get ya on my side.” He started gesticulating now, annunciating with his hands like it’d make his words even more pertinent. “There’s really no downfalls here, unless you see immortality as a downfall. Why don’t ya just give it to me?”

“Give me what I want, baby.”

seijoh finds out about your crush on iwa

fic notes : iwaizumi hajime x gn!reader, fluff, fake texts / smau

from elle ! I got iwa on the brain and I know seijoh would be absolute menaces if they ever find out ;-; thanks for ready <3 reblogs are appreciated, they help a ton <3

warnings: n/a, college au, gn!reader

❣︎anon: ca-can I request Mattsun or Iwa with a girlfriend who can fall asleep anywhere and everywhere. or like when they go to visit here at her house she’s always buried under 5-10 blankets.

❥iwaizumi hajime: 

☽ the type to come barging into your room after a full day of college with a huge frown on his face

☽ “why the hell weren’t you at college today?” he demands roughly. and even though he’s annoyed you’re missing your classes, he can’t help but feel his heart flutter when you rise from the heap of blankets smothering you, hair messy and a sleepy smile on your face

☽ “hm, i overslept.” you mumble groggily. “but i did my assignments, i promise.” and iwaizumi can’t help but laugh quietly when he realises you probably went straight back to sleep after finishing your work

☽ likes to snuggle in bed with you, loving when you rest your head on his chest as he goes on his phone, telling you about his day whilst you sleepily hum in acknowledgement 

☽ he doesn’t really nap but he’ll cuddle you as you do and being a human heater, you end up shedding the blankets. but if he ends up leaving to go back to his own place, he’ll tuck you back in neatly with all the blankets, giving your sleeping form a kiss on the head

☽ iwaizumi’s a bit more strict when you fall asleep everywhere- if you’re in class or at the cinema, he won’t hesitate to nudge you awake, giving a sharp eye but once they’re over you can sleep for as long as you’d like

☽ absolutely adores when you fall asleep on him during car rides or on public transport, he’ll carefully position your head on his shoulder so your neck won’t ache and will enjoy feeling protective of you and trusted by you

❥matsukawa issei:

☽ i kinda headcanon him as sleepy and lazy himself so if you’re cancelling a date because you’re tired, matsukawa won’t hesitate to respond with ‘lol mood’

☽ whenever you fall asleep in class or at the library or during film night, initially matsukawa will find you adorable and coo at your sleeping form

☽ but then he’ll take it as an opportunity to have his fun- he’ll take selfies with your drooling face and record your snores to play it back to you or blow on your face to snicker at how you twitch but he’ll never wake you up out of your slumber, eventually positioning you properly so you don’t get aches

☽ he’ll definitely buy you a travel neck pillow as a heartwarming gift or fluffy blankets 

☽ after a long day of class, matsukawa will always invite himself back to yours and the two of you will just get into bed, burying yourselves under the pile of blankets to have a nap

☽ mutual friends can never reach either of you because you’re both always asleep together

☽ whilst you’re both waiting for slumber to take you, matsukawa will either playfight with you, using the cushion and blankets as leverage or he’ll have soft, emotional chats with you, gazing at you so sweetly till your eyelids finally close

☽ if you fall asleep on public transport, matsukawa jokes that he won’t wake you up and will let you miss your stop but he never does

Matsukawa’s Birthday

genre: smut

warnings: sex - nothing too specific, choking, he nuts in you

a/n: happy birthday king

“Fuck Issei-”

The moan catches in your throat as he enters you, the thick head of his cock stretching you out. He pushes in, and it’s just so much. He’s big, almost too big for you, and as he bottoms out, you swear he’s in your stomach.

You can barely speak, much less think. Your mind is hazy, only filled with the thought of how good he feels, his cock filling you up until you feel like you might burst.

Mattsun stills, unmoving as your hands scrabble, searching for purchase on the sheets.

“Issei please,” you moan out, desperate for something, anything, that’ll relieve the ache inside of you.

You feel the heat radiating off of his chest as he leans over you, one hand your hip, gripping it in an almost bruising embrace, while the other grabs the sheets by the side of your head. You can feel him, looming above you, hear him whisper into your ear, “Tell me what you want.”

“Issei please, want you-“Your sentence is cut off by a particularly harsh thrust, one that knocks the breath out of you.

“You’re so wet, princess, dripping all over my cock,” he tells you, trying not to focus too hard on the feeling of your cunt clenching around him, “‘t would be a shame if I left you here, all because you couldn’t voice your demands.”

He lifts your face up, hand wrapping around your neck. The lack of oxygen makes your mind foggier, if that’s even possible, and the heat in your stomach grows even more.

“Issei please, want you to fuck me, want your cock,” You’re babbling at this point, mind only focused on chasing the pleasure you want so badly, “please Issei.”

Suddenly he’s moving, robbing the air from your breaths, fucking you with harsh thrusts that have the moans catching in your throat, ones that leave you only able to lie there and take it.

The grip on your neck loosens and Mattsun’s hand snakes down to your clit and begins to play with the swollen nub. You’re so wound up, the pressure building up inside you almost unbearable.

Your hips push back, trying to meet Mattsun’s thrusts. You’re gone, mind too hazy to comprehend what you’re saying, too hazy to realize that you’re making noise - a stream of broken moans and cries leaving your mouth. “Issei Issei Issei, fuckin’ me so good.”

The head of his hits your sweet spot and you keen. You can feel yourself hurtling towards the edge, feel the beginnings of the rope fray.

“‘m so close, ‘m gonna cum,” you whine, but Mattsun can tell, taking extra care to angle his thrusts in the way you like it. He can feel you tighten up around him, your slick pooling at his balls.

“Fuck you’re so tight pretty girl - cum for me”

It only takes a few more thrusts and well-placed touches and you’re gone.

It feels like your limbs are as heavy as lead as your orgasm rips through you, pussy fluttering around his cock. Your body locks up, hands squeezing the sheets and cunt clenching around his cock to the point where it’s almost impossible for Mattsun to move, rendering him immobile. He’s content with watching you cum, watching you fall apart around his cock, coating his base with a ring of white.

The mess you created around his cock made him groan, dick throbbing. “Fuck ______, you’re so pretty.”

As you come down from your high he pulls out, and you whine at the sensitivity and emptiness before he flips you over, burying himself back into you. You moan at the overstimulation as he fucks his cum into you, with almost bruising thrusts. Your legs lift, ankles locking around his back, forcing him even deeper into you and you can feel him pulse inside you, the heat of his cum filling you up.

As he stills his thrusts, he stares down at you.

He can see you clearly, face flushed, chest heaving, and your cunt leaking cum, both yours and his. You look sated, and when you mumble out a reply of “Happy birthday Issei, ‘love you” he collapses onto you, face buried in the crook of your neck.

“I love you too”

ʚɞMATSUKAWAIssei was at a party, but all he could focus on was you.

Correction: all Issei could focus on was you and your new boyfriend. Your sweet, caring, stupid, new boyfriend who would never hurt you the way he did.

Issei watched from across the room as he twirled you around and dipped you down, before pressing a light kiss to your neck. Issei scoffed at your boyfriend’s audacity for being so openly affectionate until he realized it was a party and no one was watching the two of you. no one except him.

summerat11:45 PM was the bass of the playlist echoing across the room. shaking the floorboards. It was the sticky, humid air as bodies moved through the crowded house, standing way too close for comfort. Issei looked down at the warm beer in his hand and ran his hand through his messy brown locks. He watched as you and your boyfriend made your way over to the opposite side of the room. The tender way he kissed your cheeks, promising he’ll be back soon with your drinks.

Issei wondered if you remembered the special concoction of margarita he used to make you at every house party nearly identical to this one. He could almost taste the sweet combo of strawberry and mint as you take a sip and thanked him with a kiss.

Issei had been plagued by insomnia for the past six months. On nights when sleep actually came to him, he’d fall asleep remembering the look on your face the night you caught him red-handed, his hands around the waist of another, his lips locked on her’s. Issei remembered the tears in your eyes when you whispered “why?”. He couldn’t tell you “why”, so you let him go. but he wished you had noticed the way his eyes were opened when she kissed him.

The truth was, Issei had always known you were never his to begin with. You were too pretty, too smart, too everything…simply too good for him. something he had told himself and something others had told him. So before you could break his heart, he broke yours. In politics, they called it a preemptive strike. He had learned this in his international affairs 101 class last year. 

But preemptive strikes were risky business. In the desire to avoid bloodshed and war, one could end up on the losing side by attacking first. “preemptive strikes must be used with caution,” his professor had warned, “only used when on the basis of real threats. it must not be used on the basis of speculative threats.” 

Matsukawa must have forgotten about this warning because by breaking your heart first before you most likely break his, he thought a preemptive strike was the only way to protect himself. he had taken a gamble and ended up on the losing side. 

He watched as Kuroo came back with two drinks in his hand. Issei wondered what it was when you took a sip and thanked him with a kiss. He leaned his head back against the sofa and wondered if it was strawberry and mint, and maybe, just maybe, if it made you miss him a little too.