I want to be huge and round and pregnant, and walk around in public holding your hand so everyone stares at my huge belly and knows that you bred me. I want every woman who seems me to look at what you did to me and instantly get turned on imagining being bred. I want you to show me off as your sexy little pregnant fucktoy.
my old high school ranked as the 6th most LGBTQ+-friendly school in the metropolitan area that i live in. ik rankings don’t mean that much but that school helped me a lot when i was a teen with serious mental health issues so it makes me happy they’re still doing a good job for their students <3
i didn’t do any work but at least i went out and ran my errands. i also had ice-cream at my favourite place. i feel like something between a deflated tire and a dead cockroach but… mmmm, there’s no but, actually. i need tea…
so sorry for my delayed response to this email, i have been very swamped being a confused and frightened idiot who can’t do basic life tasks like respond to her emails
Now that between new ones and rewatches (those are in italics) I have a few more titles to add, I thought I’d post this ^-^. Feel free to ask me about them!
On the Basis of Sex
Birds of Prey: And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn
i think ppl forget how unhinged girls were for the star wars prequels. they gave us padme and her bodyguards and we went feral for the prequels. like i swear so many girls were like hyped for prequels and i remember fashion books for star wars and padme dolls and like the hype was real. like that was pre-twilight, like pre-harry potter, pre-hunger games. it was madness. like ewan mcgregor and hayden christensen became heart throbs. girl fans revitalized the fandom. for the first time you had so many little girls dressed as queen amidala for halloween
also im so sorry for anyone that ever compliments me on here, I know I very stale with the same “I’m glad you like …!” “I’m happy you like …!” over and over again I’m just really bad at taking compliments I promise I’m not icing over at you. I promise I reread them and think about them at night giddily kicking my feet in the air like a lovesick teenager
As I was overjoyed at the thought of only having one chapter left to write for the Neverending Fantasy Novel (Part 1 of 3), I posted on Facebook that I’d soon be looking for beta-readers willing to tackle 180,000 words of fantasy. And then a publisher I’m Facebook friends with told me a very uncomfortable truth: that’s a LOT of words. Far more than I thought. Far more than most reasonable publishers are ready to deal with, especially for someone’s first novel. And it’s only Part 1!
For years I’ve been telling myself that my one goal was actually managing to write the thing, I’d worry about attempting to publish it later. I have now (almost) reached Goal 1 and it turns out that, doing so, I seem to have ruled out Goal 2…
So for a couple days I’ve been rereading my stuff, deleting words here and there, identifying whatever scenes I could remove without feeling too sad about it. So far I’ve deleted about 2000 words and spotted maybe 5000 more I could zap with not much remorse if it comes to that. It still leaves far more than I’d like…
The thing is: I have no idea where all these words are coming from! Considering my story, it doesn’t seem that there’s enough in it to fill 700 pages in paperback… It’s not The Lord of the Rings by any means… I mean, I do like my landscape descriptions, but not that much…
And yet…
Seems like I’m going to flail around for some time, when I should be worrying about preparing my lessons for school :/
Back in my little flat after living for the last two weeks in a Ghibli fairytale.
Picture this: every morning, I walk towards a big old farmhouse right at the edge of the forest. The courtyard, in the shade of a huge old walnut tree, is grassy and cool; water babbles in a large stone fountain. There are flowers everywere, bright red and pink and white.
As I walk up the stairs, the sole inhabitant of the house runs happily towards me. It’s a little grey and white kitten. I sit on the stairs and she climbs into my lap and onto my shoulder, purring happily. Then I play with her for some time, watching her chase a stick and roll around in the grass until it’s time to go and I promise to come back tomorrow.
tl:dr: I’m very happy I got the opportunity to do some kittysitting at my brother’s place while he was on holiday ^^
Assassin’s Creed liveblog, part 6 and a half: I HATE THIS GAME. What’s the point of spending half an hour carefully infiltrating a place and performing feats of combat if you’re just going to get desynchronised three seconds before success? And again? and again? and again ? and a
It makes me want to claw out my skin! I think video games are bad for my mental health :/
The specific one that triggered this OTT rant was the conquest battle on Mykonos which I had to give up on after getting killed half a dozen times because it was almost midnight, but it happens a lot. The truth is, I’m not very good at playing this game ^^’ Also I have a weird issue where I can press keys three, four, five times before anything happens. Annoying when you need to parry an attack or assassinate a guy at the right moment. I’ve installed another keyboard and the problem didn’t go away so I think my computer may just not be strong enough. (It’s not a High End Gamer Rig, but it’s a pretty decent one, and it’s two years old just like the game, so I dunno…)
But mostly I was angry with myself because I wanted to get some writing done yesterday and instead of that, I got trapped all evening in this infuriating cycle of getting killed and reloading immediately because I MUST HAVE MY REVENGE!! over and over again. Which is not an enjoyable state of mind ^^’
I’ve been wondering lately if I should leave Tumblr - just delete my account and disappear. I know what you’re going to say: “…ok and who are you again?”
I never post anything anymore (last time must have been six months ago), so I just lurk and occasionnally like a piece of Discworld fanart; but more and more lately I’ve just been feeling… too old for this stuff. I’m not into any of the Major Tumblr Fandoms at the moment, so it all goes over my head, and the forms of discourse tend to annoy me. I should probably follow different people, but I’d have no idea how to find them.
On the other hand… Tumblr is unquestionably the best social network out there, by far. I’d much rather abandon Facebook, but all my real-life friends are on there… (Never went far on Twitter, it just felt like being screamed at by everyone at the same time)
I miss forums and blogs and the 2000s internet *old woman yells at cloud*
(ranting on tumblr because all my friends are on Facebook and I don’t want to embarrass myself in front of them but I still need to vent, feel free to skip. TW: anxiety & depression)
Some time ago I sent my book to a publisher and tried to not think about it anymore. Now, if what was written on their website was right, I should get an answer any day soon. And I know it has 99,99% chances of being a negative one, so I’ve been trying to persuade myself of that but there’s this tiny bit of my brain that keeps going “but whaaaat iff”. I’m trying to stamp on it very hard but the worrying and the waiting is eating all my brainpower (which I should be using to plan the sequels).
On one hand, doing all I can to soften the blow in advance, by convincing myself there’s no chance of succes, is a good idea because I react very poorly to failure. When it comes, I have no doubt that I’ll go through the usual thought process: I failed -> I’ll never succeed at anything -> I’m worthless -> I shouldn’t even exist, why do I even exist? *angst*
On the other hand, spending the whole day going “you’re gonna get rejected, you’re gonna get rejected, you’re gonna get rejected” is not wonderful for my mental health either. I need a distraction…
Not to be dramatic or anything but my Nerodivergent, sapphic, and demon-girl-enjoying ass might be looking at the seven daughters of the Scarlet King, going, “Should I flesh these girls out and make them characters that exist for more reasons than just to point out how much of an asshole their dad is” and not taking no for an answer
ALT
