When I was maybe twelve, my mom told me that I wasn’t allowed to read her copy of Two Girls, Fat and Thin. I snuck it into my room and stayed up all night so I could finish it in time to put it back in the morning.

There’s the obvious thing about the way Gaitskill writes female sexuality. I used to worry that I was not only a sexual deviant but also the only person in the world whose darkest fantasies didn’t involve touch or even any straightforward kind of conversation.

My first year of art school, I was assigned some stories from Bad Behavior for a class on forbidden love for which we also readLolitaandGiovanni’s Room. I was sexually inexperienced in a way, but I just GOT Bad Behavior because the sex as a stand-in for something else and something else as a stand-in for sex was already so clear to me. 

It’s not just a sex thing. Gaitskill’s characters are angry about the same things that I am angry about, and she writes bodies the way I see bodies. My relationship with my body has been so tumultuous and nearly fatal and I’ve moved through some of these sick body moments of my life with a strength that came from rage (vs. hunger or pride). 

Her women are hungry: hungry for sex, hungry for pain, stiff from actual stomach hunger.

I don’t think I’ve met many women who aren’t hungry. 

The movie version of Secretary was a mess. I actually loved it, but they missed the whole point by making the protagonist overtly mentally ill. That was a shit move, because her sexual deviance ends up pathologized. It’s not like the character in the story isn’t pathological, but it’s subtle. She isn’t seeking out some sort of replacement for the pain she can cause herself, because that pain and the terror of love barely are so unalike. 

Recommended Reading: Check out Mirrorball, a story from Don’t Cry. It’s about souls (ghosts?), fucking, and the guy in that one band who will ruin you forever.

I’d recommend all of Don’t Cry. The stories are a little more experimental than her earlier work. I love everything she’s written and would recommend all of her work. Because They Wanted To is a good starting place, maybe. Veronica is stunning. There are a lot of adjectives in Veronica but it doesn’t bother me at all because they all need to be there.

Another good thing to read is this interview of Kim Gordon that Gaitskill did for Interview. I love them together.

Amy Silbergeld is the author of the auto-collaborative novel Rainn (Freke Räihä Förlag, 2014) and the chapbook Rape Joke (Tired Hearts, 2013). 

bontenist:

snakegentleman:

virtue-and-beneviolence:

bajifuyutorabb:

prettyiolanthe:

bokutetsumu:

laudthingcat:

xjoonchildx:

NO CHEATING: You’re starring in a movie with the last person saved in your camera roll and the last song you listened to is the title. Who/what is it?

thank you for the tag @https-stay

tagging: anyone who wants to play along!

Thank you for the tag Vee!

Had to remove the reblogs because the post was getting long, but your movie looks very interesting hehe~

what a combo

@cursedmoonchild this is your fault because i downloaded the pic to answer your ask

Tagging:@cursedmoonchild@frenzycrazy@scoven@bokutetsumu + anyone else

Thanks for tagging me @laudthingcat this is really funny hehe

Tagging:@taekaashiyang@prettyiolanthe@princesstooru@itsybitsyspidywoo

Thank you for the tag,@bokutetsumu

Tagging:

@bontensbabygirl@pulchritxde@l-tora-l@awkwardly-monmon@bajifuyutorabb@mellowloof + anyone who wants to

thank you for the tag @prettyiolanthe !! okay lets see hmmm

WEELLLL DONT MIND IF I DO ANANSUSEJEJAJ omg criminal au with kuroo and oiks hmmmmm

tagging:@softbajis@virtue-and-beneviolence@rinnybee@haitani-wrld@itzizumi n anyone else who wants to!

It was the long panel is Shuji with the edit I did for your ask, but it was so long and awkward whatever it was shuji. Anyway. Clique, huh?

Pah and I would have a lot of fun and the fine art of conversation could be a fun title

me and ranpo in a movie together yup :>

tagging:@haruchiyos@manjiroute (and also whoever else wants to do it!)

omg okay thanks for tagging me @bontenist

okay so kind of a 90s romcom called mirrorball with lucas

[tagging anyone who wants to do this]

The visuals I get from mirrorball:

It’s the end of a military ball at the local VFW all the couples have retreated from the wooden dancefloor to go home and there’s just one woman swaying in the middle of the dancefloor surrounded by fallen streamers and deflating balloons her hair pins coming loose, lipstick barely visible after the glasses of bubbly and her faint smile only lit up by the flashes from the disco ball above

“And they called off the circus, burned the disco down.”

mirrorball | Taylor Swift

Model:Matte Finish

“You’re not like the regulars, the masquerade revelers.”

mirrorball | Taylor Swift

okay at first i really slept on mirrorball but i’m starting to appreciate it. the thought of breaking into a million pieces and having this feeling of wanting to be the best version of yourself for each person in your life is really captivating. it’s a really life moving subject and uses a disco ball as a metaphor to describe how when you break into a million pieces, it makes you who you are.

1. If my wishes came true
2. Your favorite
3. Marvellous time ruining everything
4. Homeland
5. Dead to you
6. Shining just for you
7. Sweet tea in the summer
8. Lost in the memory
9. I’m trying
10. A million little times
11. Clues
12. Shame she went mad
13. With you I serve
14. Worst intentions
15. Brittle heart
16. No other sadness
17. My muse

CANCER SUN STUDY ☆｡ﾟ☽

Cancer is the first water sign in the zodiac. They’re emotional, sensitive and caring. Cancer is a very exploratory sign, they yearn for knowledge and understanding of others emotions. Cancers are often empaths and have killer intuition. Cancers feel hard and they feel deeply about things. They care for you want to make sure that you’re safe and comfortable. Cancers are bright and bubbly and so very sweet! But since they’re also so connected with the moon, they’re emotional and may dress in darker clothes. Cancer suns do literally all the small things for you. Cancers are really sentimental beings and they tend to romanticise life. The small things are really important. Do some small things for them. They’ll feel so loved. Cancers are prone to feeling unloved and might need to be reassured.

Cancer suns are the mom friends in the way that they’ll take care of you and nurture you. They care so much and stick by your side no matter how wrong you might be; they’re extremely loyal and giving in friendships. So much so, sometimes it feels as if the Cancer sun individual is giving too much. Cancer sun individuals take abuse from others and sometimes just let it happen without them realizing. They’re also very forgiving and gives people wayyyyyy too many chances. Cancer suns struggle with self-esteem issues and are afraid of judgement. They fear not being good enough and of being critiqued. They’re really squishy on the inside but Cancer sun individuals build up a sort of wall. They’ll let you in but guide you to their hearts slowly. If you’re in, you’re one of a select few.

Cancer suns typically attract a lot of air signs around them. Geminis, Libras and Aquarius are frequent visitors; often coming in and out of their lives. They’re good as friends, but it may be difficult to date air signs romantically. Other water signs such as other Cancers, Pisces, and Scorpios will do a Cancer good in a romantic relationship. Emotion rules the water signs, so your partner will understand your emotional nature. Water sign relationships tend to be sensitive, in tune with their emotions, and empathetic.

Cancers will want to nurture their partners. They’ll love unconditionally and are happy doing things like cooking. Cancers have a very familial view and wants to provide that sense of security. Cancer sun individuals are very creative and express such by painting, dance, song, writing, etc.

Many famous painters, singers, and actors are Cancer suns: Edgar Degas, Rembrandt, Lana Del Ray, Cyndi Lauper, mxmtoon, Ariana Grande, Selena Gomez, and Post Malone. Their music or acting can be very emotional and vulnerable. I personally think as a Cancer, I need music. It’s a necessity and I just gotta have it. I always have an earbud in my ear playing my silly little songs. As an observation, Cancer placements (especially sun and moon) are drawn to music that reminds them of their childhoods and music that invokes emotion. Cancers are very nostalgic people and love to reminisce on the past; this can also lead to overthinking.

As another observation, most of the Cancer suns I’ve met are categorized in the INFP personality from the Meyer’s Briggs 16 Personality test. If there are more sociable placements within the birth chart (such as Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius), the Cancer sun individual might be more of an extrovert instead of introverted.

Cancer Sun Info:

• June 21 - July 22
• Cancer’s symbol is The Crab (Karkinos)
• Cancer is ruled by the Moon
• Cancer’s quality is Cardinal
• Cancer is associated with the moon, motherly energy, and mother earth
• Cancer Strengths: nurturing, supportive, healing, compassionate, unconditionally loving
• Cancer Weaknesses: dependent, indirect, moody, passive aggressive, unable to let go

━☆ B E L L A♋︎ ♍︎ ♏︎☆━

Cancer Sun, Virgo Moon, Scorpio Rising

INFP

“creature fear” by bon iver

“I wanted to live deep and suck all the marrow out of life.” - Henry David Thoreau

━☆ C H A R L I E ♋︎ ♐︎ ♌︎☆━

Cancer Sun, Sagittarius Moon, Leo Rising

ENFP

“mariner’s apartment complex” by lana del ray

“i fucking love life, i came here to fucking live.” - lana del rey

━☆ B E L L A ♋︎ ♋︎ ♒︎ ☆━

Cancer Sun, Cancer Moon, Aquarius Rising

INFP

“darkest time” by justus proffit

“grace vanderwaal said live for experiences and not outcomes and i haven’t regret a decision since”

purpleswift:

reblog and put in the tags:

the 1 or willow? cardigan or champagne problems? the last great american dynasty or gold rush? exile or ‘tis the damn season? my tears ricochet or tolerate it? mirrorball or no body, no crime? seven or happiness? august or dorothea? this is me trying or coney island? illicit affairs or ivy? invisible string or cowboy like me? mad woman or long story short? epiphany or marjorie? betty or closure? peace or evermore? hoax or right where you left me? the lakes or it’s time to go?

can’t fall asleep, you’re all i see

am i a ghost?

spinning out of control

I’m a mirror ball

I’ll show you every version of yourself

mirrorball headers

like or reblog if you save is always appreciated ♡

I’m still on that tightrope

I’m still trying everything to get you laughing at me

I’m still a believer but I don’t know why

I’ve never been a natural

All I do is try, try, try

I’m still on that trapeze

I’m still trying everything

To keep you looking at me

Because I’m a mirrorball

I’m a mirrorball

Taylor Swift/Mirrorball

“mirrorball” by Taylor Swift

swifties who heard “folklore” before me: taylor says “fuck you forever" 

me: i’ll only believe this when i hear it

me when i heard it:

purpleswift:

reblog and put in the tags:

the 1 or willow? cardigan or champagne problems? the last great american dynasty or gold rush? exile or ‘tis the damn season? my tears ricochet or tolerate it? mirrorball or no body, no crime? seven or happiness? august or dorothea? this is me trying or coney island? illicit affairs or ivy? invisible string or cowboy like me? mad woman or long story short? epiphany or marjorie? betty or closure? peace or evermore? hoax or right where you left me? the lakes or it’s time to go?

greenlight:

for you i would ruin myself

Lockscreens - the Mirrorball edition