#mystery inc
Shaggy: Velma, is that a weed?!
Velma: no, this is a crayon.
Shaggy: i’m calling the police! [types 911 into microwave]
Microwave: 911 what’s your emergency?
Velma:
Velma: i finally finished that book about nutmeg!
Fred: well, it’s about time!
Velma: no, Fred, it’s about nutmeg.
Velma: Coca Cola can remove rust from metal, imagine what it’s doing to your body.
Shaggy: getting rid of the dust, duh.
Velma: that’s not HOW IT WORKS
Shaggy: i’ve been drinking soda and my body’s rust free… not sure where you’re getting your facts from.
Fred, writing in his diary: dear diary, how are you? i’m fine.
Fred:
Fred, groaning: okay, you got me, i’m not fine. god you’re good.
Fred: well, gang, how are we feeling?
Daphne: i am an iPhone without a case. i’m worth a lot and i have a lot of good functions, but i could just shatter randomly.
[game night]
Fred: alright, any questions?
Daphne: if cows ruled the world, would they drink human milk?
Fred: i meant about the game.
Shaggy: then Velma told me to grow up.
Fred: man, what did you say?
Shaggy: i was speechless, i couldn’t say anything…
Shaggy: i did have 48 gummy bears in my mouth, but still.
Fred: do you hear someone screaming?
Daphne: oh yeah, that’s just Shaggy.
Fred: should i be worried?
Daphne: nah. he just got his head stuck in a pumpkin, he’ll be fine.
Velma: Shaggy doesn’t really have any life plans. earlier today i found a sticky note on his desk that just said “put on pants.”
Velma: it was followed by a question mark.
Shaggy: [sees a 30 pouch Caprisun variety pack on sale]
Shaggy, very loudly: AW EPIC!
Telling off Actor Mark
This one got taken down for… obvious reasons… but still please give it some love!
the scooby gang punches nazis!
(requested by anonymous)