#nakamoto yuta angst

[16:28]

“hey,” you utter softly. “i’ve missed you.”yuta’sgaze is tired yet gentle as he breaks into a small smile when he sees you, standing in the doorway of your shared apartment. he takes your hand gently and entangles his finger in yours, his jacket hangs loosely off his shoulders as he pulls you closer to him.

“i’ve missed you too.” he whispers at you, placing a delicate kiss to your cheek. though the kiss feels less warm than it used too. you look up at him, meeting his tender eyes, and smile shyly. yuta’seyes never meet yours and your smile never seems full-hearted. you both notice that but it seems you’re both too scared to tell each other.

his grip around your fingers feels less loving than it usually does, but it has a for a while now and you try to pretend it still does. he notices every time you kiss him on the lips, you never lean in fully like you used to before but yutastill grins back at you as if you had just kissed for the first time though his eyes always give it away.

it hurt to see this happen, you and yutaknew it. but there was a part deep inside both of you that was hoping that this was only temporary and that everything would go back to normal. it was probably a stupid choice that you and yuta choose to believe, normal felt so far from where you were right now. but maybe, it truly would go back to the way it was like once before.

The sequel to Devil Inside. I don’t know I had this in my drafts until I arranged my Docs. Sorry if I’m not active here in Tumblr, there’s a lot of work to be done for the graduation and I haven’t written anything. I’m sorry for the unanswered messages and the requests I haven’t done yet. Thank you for understanding. 

characters:dad!Yuta Nakamoto, mom!Reader,cambion!son 
word count:2.4k words
genre:angst, fluff, domestic au
summary. No one had told you the pros and cons of having a child. Moreover, a cambion. 
warnings: mention of death, nightmares, and gore-y stuff from the first fic; stabbing, blood, prison

taglist:@joepomonerof@iwannabreathetosetmefree@yujaesbestiee@jaesqueso@notmejustmymind@what-sarah@nuoyipeach@xxhaneulxx@degreeandfangirling@channie301@a-place-filled-with-random@imjaeforyou@yeolsechanhun@multiyuta@notworthit24@anonjyxd@sourirensoleille@ytzvivi@queensnowdon@yutiddies@blueeyedlove-blog1@coolkimchijoy16@mamamohatd0g @trashlord-007​@felixglow​

No one had ever explained to you the pros and cons of having a baby. 

It’s been months but your parents never talked to you when they sent you abroad. So you didn’t have any idea on how to take care of the child inside you. 

Moreover, a cambion.

You remembered hearing that word from the girl who cursed Yuta, that bearing a cambion would remove the devil inside him. Internet and books were your only guide and it scares you that your baby might be born like the ones in the books.

You were relieved, however, the moment you gave birth. Your son’s limbs are complete. That little button nose, the chubby cheeks, and the plump lips. He is perfect. 

He looks so much like Yuta. His parents would love your little angel. And he will surely love your child.

Unlike other kids his age, his development was highly advanced. Even if he’s still months old, he can easily walk. By age one, he can talk in short sentences. It gave you hope that he’s like other kids but it was a hope that was crushed easily.

He would never show emotion. You never know if he’s happy or sad. He would speak in short sentences, all monotone. And that made the other kids wary of him. You told him a lot of times to smile but he never did. 

It’s not like he doesn’t know how. You saw him smile when you returned home and met your parents again. You saw him smile when he was introduced to Yuta’s family. You saw him smile seeing his dad in pictures. 

And maybe meeting Yuta would give emotion to your child.

He was already four when you brought him to the jail prison where Yuta is. He was never weary of him, unlike to other people. He immediately hugged the older as if they’d known each other all their life. Must be the blood bond, you thought. And for a moment, you saw how your child smiled in sincere happiness at the arms of his father. A smile you barely even see if it’s just the two of you.

Yuta hugged you tight in his arms, apologizing profusely for not being by your side when you need him the most. He apologized for everything he had done and hoped that you’ll still wait for him. That you’ll still love him. 

But all you wished for is to always see your son as happy as he is earlier. You wished his dad would always be here with the two of you.

That night, you cried in your sleep. Your son entered your room quietly and even lay on the bed next to you, making you smile timidly. “Are you crying?” he asked and you shook your head, wiping the tears on your cheek. His little hands held your face, tiny palms as warm as you want him to be. “I hope you won’t cry again, mommy.” 

It was like everything is sucked out of you. The pain, the sadness. The little boy smiled and you mirrored the same expression as him.

You should have noticed it then. 

Every time he would sleep beside you, holding your hand or hugging you to sleep, you would have the sweetest dreams of your family being complete and happy. Yuta and him smiling together as they play soccer, a nice dream. When he wasn’t beside you, you’ll dream of the things that happened in the past. The limbs, the flesh, the blood. 

The monster Yuta had become. The thing you’re scared of.

You should have noticed it then. 

One day, you saw him playing with a girl in the playground. You were happy that he was communicating with a kid his age but what surprised you is seeing the young girl’s knee bleeding and that she was crying. When your son held her cheek, like what he does to you when you’re crying, the girl just stopped. She was breathing heavy breaths but her eyes are showing comfort as if the pain she was feeling is slowly fading.

You should have known it then.

Empath. 

They call it that. A distinct ability that only cambions have. Your son is the reason why you have the happiest dreams. He really did remove the negative emotion out of anyone, changing it into a positive one.

And it was alright, as long as it doesn’t hurt him. As long as nothing bad can happen to him. 

But you noticed how distant he’s becoming. From the short sentences came monosyllabic answers that made you worried. 

Then you saw him once talking with a lot of animation in his voice, the first time you actually saw him this excited over something. It was an improvement. 

But the moment you head outside, your eyes widened in surprise. In front of him is a rabbit, a lifeless rabbit to be exact. He stared at you before smiling, “Mommy, the rabbit wants to play with me.” Then he pointed at something in thin air, giggling.

And you knew it right then.

“He can talk to the dead?” Yuta asked, watching your son playing with the toy blocks at one part of the visitation area. “But the books didn’t mention anything about it.” You know. You’ve given him that book. But he did talk to animals, dead animals. You witnessed it not only once, he did it with a bird, even a cockroach. “I’m sorry, Y/N.” The older held your hand, grasping it in a comforting hold.

The younger boy came to you and you smiled at him, asking what is it. “Grandpa wanted to see you, mommy.” he said that made you look at Yuta and then at the younger boy. “He told me grandma needs you now.” Yuta’s hold on you got tighter when your phone vibrated and the bad news was confirmed. Your father died.

It was scary to know that your child can communicate with the dead. Sometimes he would just stop in the middle of the streets and he would talk to someone. Even at school, his teachers would tell you how he never played with the kids and would just be alone on the swings while talking to air. You saw how the kids were teasing him but he was still talking to someone or something in front of him, not caring about anything. 

“You’re a freak.” one kid said that made you startled. You were about to walk to where they are when one kid mentioned about his dad, “That’s because his dad is a criminal.” He stared at the kid who said that sentence, eyes glaring. You saw how the kid suddenly punched himself which surprised the other kids around him. 

Did your son do it? He can’t right? 

The kid punched his face again, crying that it hurts. The other kids were telling him to stop but he only punched his face once again. You called your son’s attention and the kid fell to the ground when your son stopped glaring at him. 

He really did it. Now, you’re more scared of him than ever before.

You didn’t know taking care of a child would be this tiring, a cambion in particular. There are a lot of nights would you would just cry in your sleep while wishing that everything would be different. It doesn’t help that you can always see the tiredness and guilt in Yuta’s eyes as you narrate things that usually happen.

But you cannot give up. 

Cannot give up on yourself, on Yuta, on your child. They’re all you have.

Your son grew up to be almost identical to his father. It would always transport you to memories of when Yuta was a child and you would play in their yard. He would tease you and tell you that you should get used to him because you’ll be together for a long time. A promise that he did keep.

Other than the usual encounters with the dead and the short temper that your son has, he’s a pretty average kid who loved hugging you. Different from other kids his age who would try and pretend that their mothers don’t exist. He would always whisper that he loves you and that you’re his world, although you knew it was Yuta who told him that phrase.

And that’s all that matters for you. You, Yuta, and your son.

The doorbell rang that startled you. Who would even come today? 

A surprise was all you can feel seeing Yuta outside your door, whispering that he misses you then hugged you tight. “I thought you have a year left…” But he hushed you up, saying that he went out earlier because of parole. “I’m sorry for not being here when you need me the most, Y/N.” he mumbled and the tears fell from your eyes. “I promise I won’t leave you again.”

Hopefully, everything will be normal.

But you knew it was wishful thinking.

Your son had been in more fights and his temper grew shorter which scared even his dad. He had been holed up in his room all the time but you can hear him whispering inside as if talking to someone else. It has been pretty hopeless to do something at this point.

You were walking home from the store after buying those macaroons that your son loves. Yuta had told you that he hasn’t come out of his room and maybe this can coax him into hanging out with you. You were almost home when someone ran straight to you and stabbed you with a knife, snatching your purse. You didn’t even get to glance at his face as you felt the pain on your side, blood covering your hand as you can see black.

The image of Yuta and your son made the tears fall from your closed eyes. Is this the end for you? You wanted to see them happy and smiling, with their identical smile, while looking at you. A smile you wouldn’t ever see again. You should have told them you loved them, especially your son. You should have told him that he was your world as well. But it’s all gone now.

The worry was changed seeing your son and Yuta playing soccer together. They really do look alike that made your heart hurt. Your two worlds, together. A nice dream that made you smile. The greatest dream that you could have before leaving the world. “Y/N,” you heard Yuta’s voice. “Love,” he called once again. “Please wake up.” 

You felt a warm hand holding your hand. “Mommy, please come back to us.” That voice. You opened your eyes, blinded by the light. Where are you? What happened?

When you glanced beside you, Yuta was kneeling in front of the couch where you were lying down and holding your blood-covered hand. “Love,” he called before a loud cry can be heard beside him. “Mommy.” Your son sobbed, wrapping his arms around your neck. “I thought I’m going to lose you.” His hug got tighter which made you surprised. Your son is crying? He never cries. You’ve never seen him cry. “I was so scared to lose you.” He never gets scared.

Yuta only sighed in relief then smiled timidly, holding his son’s head. “What happened?”

“I have to look for you and bring you home.” he lightly glanced at your son. “He was panicking. He said he saw you.” Then you almost really died. “He saved you.”

You curiously looked at the sobbing boy in your arms. Saved you? “I didn’t know he could do that but you’re not breathing when we found you. He didn’t let go of you and kept calling out for you.” Yuta ruffled his son’s hair, the expression in his eyes making you tear up. “I thought we were going to lose you.” 

You knew you were stabbed. You remembered how it hurt so much but there isn’t even a scar on your side when you checked yourself. You don’t want to believe that it was your son’s doing but while watching him, you realized that he might. He did save you. 

The temper isn’t that short now. You tried to watch him glare at someone once and nothing happened. Even if there’s a dead fly in front of him, he never tried to talk to it like before. He would laugh wholeheartedly at the comedy shows that Yuta likes and bawl his eyes out while watching a sad show. And even if he sleeps on the bed with you and Yuta, you will still have nightmares. 

Does this mean your life is getting normal now? 

“What are you doing here outside?” Yuta asked and you watched as your son played with a neighbor kid in your garden. A normal kid. That’s him now. 

“He’s changed.” 

Yuta laughed. “He’s almost a teenager.” He is. But he knew that’s not what you meant. Your husband wrapped his arms around you, chin on your shoulder as you both looked at the younger boy who waved at the two of you. “Y/N, I know I always say this but I’m grateful you didn’t give up on me. In the past and even until now.” You held his hands, “I don’t know what I’ll do if not for you. I love you. So much.” 

“I also cannot do this without you. Thank you for coming back to us, Yuta.” You whispered, leaning your head on his chest. “I love you.”

“More than you love him?” 

You giggled seeing how your son ran to where the two of you were. “Mom, can I go play Xbox next door?” Yuta giggled and you nodded, reminding the younger not to be angry if he lost the game. He smiled and you were reminded of Yuta’s smile. They really do look alike. “You’re the best, mom.” You giggled before he continued, “You’ll always be my world, mommy. I love you the most.” 

“What about me?” Yuta asked but your son just ran away which made your husband revolt. You laughed, they’re always like this. “Just wait until you’ll have a sister, we won’t invite you to our tea parties.” You chuckled but Yuta only stared at you, squinting his eyes on you. “And since he’s next door, we have the whole house to ourselves.” 

“Let’s start making that daughter.” You giggled as he pulled you inside, closing the doors behind you. 

At this point, you were just thankful to finally have a normal life with your husband and son. And hopefully, a little angel can balance out the negative things that happened in your life.