“Time spent with family creates lasting memories…”

Thanks, Airbnb ad on Twitter, for reminding me why I’m so fucked up.

Some very strange ideas

I recently explained to my toxic, narcissistic mom that I would not be in contact with her any more, since she has explicitly stated (and proven) that she will do and say whatever she wants, regardless of whether it hurts me or anyone else. I told her I wished her well, that I was grateful to her for the sacrifices she’d made in raising me, but that I would not allow myself to be hurt by her any more.

My mom responded, and this is a direct quote, “You have turned out to have some very strange ideas about how a family works and how to treat your mother.”

Yeah. These past few years I fell in with a real bad crowd that taught me about treating people with kindness and respect, and—even more shocking—having a right to expect the same in return.

They’re some very strange ideas, I know, but I kind of like them.

I hope they spread.

I finally did it. I went no contact with my toxic, narcissistic mom. I sent her the email yesterday. I’ve been low contact for about 4 years, but I finally couldn’t take it anymore.

So I’ve gone from low contact to no contact. It feels weird. I’m happy and sad at the same time. It’s like someone I love has been kicking me on the floor for 47 years, and now I finally stood up and walked away. So I’m happy that I’m not getting kicked anymore, but I’m sad that I’ll never see the person I loved again.

Because yeah. I loved her. I still love her. No one is all bad, and there are good things about her. But she’s also mean, and … none of the good stuff is worth having someone mean in my life.

So … yeah … I’m free. I’m happy and sad. But I wouldn’t have done this if I wasn’t sure that the happy will win.

They should make “Congratulations on your estrangement!” Hallmark cards.