Jiang Cheng is sure he has been looking at the same two invitation designs for the past ten minutes. He’s no longer sure he can even make out the difference between them. Jiang Cheng tilts his head back with a groan, rubbing his eyes in the hopes of making them stop burning but of course it doesn’t work.
Jiang Cheng is still debating if he should switch over to the flower arrangements for now when he hears the door, quickly followed by Nie Mingjue’s light steps, Baxia and Sandu in tow, their tongues no doubt lolling out.
“I’m back!” Nie Mingjue calls out.
“Kitchen,” Jiang Cheng replies and tilts his head back for a kiss when Nie Mingjue comes into the room.
“Hi,” Nie Mingjue says once they part and Jiang Cheng smiles up at him.
“Hi,” he gives back. “How was your run?”
“You should ask them,” Nie Mingjue says with a pointed look at the two dogs who are too busy drinking to pay any attention to Jiang Cheng.
“You tired them out,” Jiang Cheng observes and Nie Mingjue smiles sheepishly at him.
“Not my fault they can’t keep pace,” he gives back before he looks at the table, a frown on his face. “Are you still looking at invitations?”
“Yeah,” Jiang Cheng sighs. “I have it narrowed down to these two though, I think. How do you like them?”
Nie Mingjue musters them for a moment and then shakes his head.
“My heart, those are the exact same two we already had as our favourites. What are you doing?”
“I just wanted to be sure,” Jiang Cheng pouts. “I want this wedding to be perfect so I compared them to all the other designs again.”
“Oh, my heart,” Nie Mingjue says and bends down to hug Jiang Cheng from behind. “The wedding is already going to be perfect because it’s our wedding. I’m marrying you. It doesn’t get more perfect than that. The design of the invitation really doesn’t have anything to do with that at all.”
“I know,” Jiang Cheng whispers and laces their fingers together. “I know that. I just–”
“You still want it to be perfect,” Nie Mingjue finishes for him and presses a kiss to the side of Jiang Cheng’s face. “I get that. But we both have stared at designs and arrangements for too long. We should give it a little bit of rest and come back to it in one or two days, alright?”
“Fine,” Jiang Cheng sighs, but he knows that Nie Mingjue is right.
The invitations look the same to him already and it would probably do him some good to think about something else for a while. They still have time until the wedding anyway.
“Good.” Another kiss to Jiang Cheng’s cheek. “Now put all of that away, I stopped by that one dinner place on my run and placed an order. It should be here in ten minutes or so,” Nie Mingjue tells him and lets go of Jiang Cheng. “I’m going to hop under the shower real quick.”
“You’re perfect,” Jiang Cheng tells him just as his stomach rumbles and Nie Mingjue gives him a dimpled smile.
Jiang Cheng is sure he has been looking at the same two invitation designs for the past ten minutes. He’s no longer sure he can even make out the difference between them. Jiang Cheng tilts his head back with a groan, rubbing his eyes in the hopes of making them stop burning but of course it doesn’t work.
Jiang Cheng is still debating if he should switch over to the flower arrangements for now when he hears the door, quickly followed by Nie Mingjue’s light steps, Baxia and Sandu in tow, their tongues no doubt lolling out.
“I’m back!” Nie Mingjue calls out.
“Kitchen,” Jiang Cheng replies and tilts his head back for a kiss when Nie Mingjue comes into the room.
“Hi,” Nie Mingjue says once they part and Jiang Cheng smiles up at him.
“Hi,” he gives back. “How was your run?”
“You should ask them,” Nie Mingjue says with a pointed look at the two dogs who are too busy drinking to pay any attention to Jiang Cheng.
“You tired them out,” Jiang Cheng observes and Nie Mingjue smiles sheepishly at him.
“Not my fault they can’t keep pace,” he gives back before he looks at the table, a frown on his face. “Are you still looking at invitations?”
“Yeah,” Jiang Cheng sighs. “I have it narrowed down to these two though, I think. How do you like them?”
Nie Mingjue musters them for a moment and then shakes his head.
“My heart, those are the exact same two we already had as our favourites. What are you doing?”
“I just wanted to be sure,” Jiang Cheng pouts. “I want this wedding to be perfect so I compared them to all the other designs again.”
“Oh, my heart,” Nie Mingjue says and bends down to hug Jiang Cheng from behind. “The wedding is already going to be perfect because it’s our wedding. I’m marrying you. It doesn’t get more perfect than that. The design of the invitation really doesn’t have anything to do with that at all.”
“I know,” Jiang Cheng whispers and laces their fingers together. “I know that. I just–”
“You still want it to be perfect,” Nie Mingjue finishes for him and presses a kiss to the side of Jiang Cheng’s face. “I get that. But we both have stared at designs and arrangements for too long. We should give it a little bit of rest and come back to it in one or two days, alright?”
“Fine,” Jiang Cheng sighs, but he knows that Nie Mingjue is right.
The invitations look the same to him already and it would probably do him some good to think about something else for a while. They still have time until the wedding anyway.
“Good.” Another kiss to Jiang Cheng’s cheek. “Now put all of that away, I stopped by that one dinner place on my run and placed an order. It should be here in ten minutes or so,” Nie Mingjue tells him and lets go of Jiang Cheng. “I’m going to hop under the shower real quick.”
“You’re perfect,” Jiang Cheng tells him just as his stomach rumbles and Nie Mingjue gives him a dimpled smile.
Jiang Cheng is sure he has been looking at the same two invitation designs for the past ten minutes. He’s no longer sure he can even make out the difference between them. Jiang Cheng tilts his head back with a groan, rubbing his eyes in the hopes of making them stop burning but of course it doesn’t work.
Jiang Cheng is still debating if he should switch over to the flower arrangements for now when he hears the door, quickly followed by Nie Mingjue’s light steps, Baxia and Sandu in tow, their tongues no doubt lolling out.
“I’m back!” Nie Mingjue calls out.
“Kitchen,” Jiang Cheng replies and tilts his head back for a kiss when Nie Mingjue comes into the room.
“Hi,” Nie Mingjue says once they part and Jiang Cheng smiles up at him.
“Hi,” he gives back. “How was your run?”
“You should ask them,” Nie Mingjue says with a pointed look at the two dogs who are too busy drinking to pay any attention to Jiang Cheng.
“You tired them out,” Jiang Cheng observes and Nie Mingjue smiles sheepishly at him.
“Not my fault they can’t keep pace,” he gives back before he looks at the table, a frown on his face. “Are you still looking at invitations?”
“Yeah,” Jiang Cheng sighs. “I have it narrowed down to these two though, I think. How do you like them?”
Nie Mingjue musters them for a moment and then shakes his head.
“My heart, those are the exact same two we already had as our favourites. What are you doing?”
“I just wanted to be sure,” Jiang Cheng pouts. “I want this wedding to be perfect so I compared them to all the other designs again.”
“Oh, my heart,” Nie Mingjue says and bends down to hug Jiang Cheng from behind. “The wedding is already going to be perfect because it’s our wedding. I’m marrying you. It doesn’t get more perfect than that. The design of the invitation really doesn’t have anything to do with that at all.”
“I know,” Jiang Cheng whispers and laces their fingers together. “I know that. I just–”
“You still want it to be perfect,” Nie Mingjue finishes for him and presses a kiss to the side of Jiang Cheng’s face. “I get that. But we both have stared at designs and arrangements for too long. We should give it a little bit of rest and come back to it in one or two days, alright?”
“Fine,” Jiang Cheng sighs, but he knows that Nie Mingjue is right.
The invitations look the same to him already and it would probably do him some good to think about something else for a while. They still have time until the wedding anyway.
“Good.” Another kiss to Jiang Cheng’s cheek. “Now put all of that away, I stopped by that one dinner place on my run and placed an order. It should be here in ten minutes or so,” Nie Mingjue tells him and lets go of Jiang Cheng. “I’m going to hop under the shower real quick.”
“You’re perfect,” Jiang Cheng tells him just as his stomach rumbles and Nie Mingjue gives him a dimpled smile.
“Only for you,” Nie Mingjue promises him and even though they have been together for years at this point, Jiang Cheng’s stomach still flutters.
“And aren’t I lucky,” he mutters, watching Nie Mingjue walk into their bedroom before he shakes himself out of his daze and puts the invitations away.
They really do still have time and it probably can’t hurt to sleep over this for a few days. They still have other things to do besides—and there really still is enough time left—so they don’t have to rush things.
Jiang Cheng just likes to stay on top of things.
He puts cutlery and bowls on the table once all the invitations have been safely stowed away and now that he thinks about it, Jiang Cheng really is close to starving.
“I really do have the best fiancé,” Jiang Cheng mutters under his breath and he’s aware that the most dopey smile is on his face but it’s not like anyone can see and he’s finally at a point where even if someone could, Jiang Cheng wouldn’t care.
He loves Nie Mingjue too much to hide it.
Jiang Cheng is just puttering around when someone knocks on the door. He almost runs over to it, suddenly famished and he wants to get the food as quickly as possible.
“Hurry up,” he calls into the apartment, hoping that Nie Mingjue hears him and doesn’t waste time under the shower but when Jiang Cheng yanks the door open he freezes.
It’s not their food that is waiting for him on the other side but two police officers.
“Officers,” Jiang Cheng croaks out, one horror scenario after another rushing through his mind. “Did something happen?”
“Jiang Wanyin?” one of them asks and Jiang Cheng nods, afraid of the news they bring.
“What—what can I do for you?”
“We’re actually looking for you,” the second officer tells him and now Jiang Cheng thoughts turn into a different direction.
It’s not like he breaks the law on a regular basis—the last thing was probably a ticket for speeding, if he’s honest—but suddenly he wonders if he murdered someone and they are here to arrest him.
“What for?” Jiang Cheng carefully asks and the officers share a look.
“Your siblings filed a missing person case for you,” they explain and Jiang Cheng can only blink at them.
“I’m sorry they did what?”
“They said your apartment has been rented out to someone else and they can’t find you.”
“This is my official apartment. This is the address that is registered as my home,” Jiang Cheng says and the officers nod.
“Yes, it does seem a bit strange. Is there someone else here with you?”
“My fiancé,” Jiang Cheng croaks out and just in that moment Nie Mingjue steps into the hallway.
“My heart? Is that the food?” he asks but he trails off when he catches sight of the police. “I guess not. What is going on?”
“I’d like to know that as well,” Jiang Cheng says, crossing his arms in front of his chest, but he can guess.
Wei Wuxian and Jiang Yanli neither listen to him nor did they ever believe him when he told them he was moving in with Nie Mingjue.
“Excuse us, could we talk to you alone for a moment?” the officers ask Jiang Cheng who sighs and turns around to Nie Mingjue.
“It’s my stupid siblings,” he tells him and then steps outside into the hallway, closing the door behind him. “What did they say?”
“Are you doing fine? Are you being coerced? Is he forcing you to be here?” one of the officers asks and Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes.
“No. I am here of my own free will. Nie Mingjue and I have been in a relationship for more than five years now. We’re getting married next year.”
“And that is something you want?”
“I proposed to him, so I should hope so,” Jiang Cheng bites back and then pinches the bridge of his nose. “I’m sorry. What exactly did my siblings say?”
“They reported you as missing, citing exceedingly erratic behavior. Something about a delusion was mentioned as well.” The officer seems apologetic as he says it and Jiang Cheng takes a deep breath.
“That would be because they neither listen to me nor do they believe me,” he says his previous thoughts out loud. “I have always been transparent about my relationship with Nie Mingjue but they don’t believe me. I gave them my new address and I informed them of the wedding. I still have the same phone number!” Jiang Cheng takes a deep breath. “I can show you if you want?” he says and points at the door.
“Please.”
Jiang Cheng excuses himself and enters the apartment, not even surprised that Nie Mingjue is still waiting for him in the hallway.
“What is going on?”
“My siblings filed a missing person report for me it seems,” Jiang Cheng tells him and walks over to kiss his cheek. “I’ll just show the nice officers that there’s nothing to worry about and then we can have dinner.”
“If you’re sure,” Nie Mingjue says, the worry clearly etched into his face and Jiang Cheng pulls him in for a kiss.
“I am. Give me five minutes.”
Jiang Cheng grabs his phone and steps back outside to show the officers his chat with his siblings.
“Do you want to confirm that these are my sibling’s phone numbers?” he asks them, showing them the contact information.
One of the officers gets a notebook out and they check the numbers, nodding once they are done.
“They are the same.”
“And this is the chat. See, I told my siblings five months ago that I was moving to this very address and informed them about the wedding as well,” he says and shows the messages to the officers.
His siblings had answered with different variants of “Don’t do this, A-Cheng,” and “There’s no need to take this charade this far”, to which Jiang Cheng hadn’t answered anymore.
There’s no point in arguing with his siblings about his relationship.
“It all seems to be in order,” the officer says. “If you don’t mind us asking, why are your siblings not believing you?”
Jiang Cheng snorts at that question.
“We don’t have the time to get too deeply into our fucked up childhoods, but it basically boils down to the fact that they think Nie Mingjue is way out of my league and wouldn’t ever date someone like me. This has been going on for years but I didn’t think they would involve the police over this. I’m sorry.”
“Since you didn’t file the report it’s really not your fault. We’ll inform them about the situation. There might be some follow up questions, though. Here’s my partners and mine contact number, just in case as well.”
Jiang Cheng takes the offered card, even though he has zero intention of ever calling them and bids them a good evening.
And it happens just in time too, because as the officers are leaving their food is arriving.
Jiang Cheng quickly goes inside to get the money, putting the bags of food into Nie Mingjue’s hands before he pays the delivery guy and then, finally, he closes the door.
“What the fuck,” he mutters.
“What the fuck, indeed,” Nie Mingjue says, still standing in the same spot, bag of food in his hands. “What is even going on?”
“Let’s talk over dinner,” Jiang Cheng proposes, his stomach rumbling again and he takes the bags back from Nie Mingjue, quickly making his way to the kitchen.
The food is laid out in mere minutes and it’s only after Jiang Cheng stuffed his mouth full that Nie Mingjue speaks.
“Did they really report you as missing?” he asks and Jiang Cheng sighs.
“Yes. As far as I understood the nice officers they called my behaviour erratic and cited a delusion. That added up to the fact that I am no longer living in my old apartment was clearly enough for the police to get involved and take this seriously.”
“And now?”
“And now I cleared it up. I showed them the chat history and I explained to them what is happening. There might be follow up questions but I am no longer a missing person.”
“Why would they do that, though? You told them where you’d move.”
Jiang Cheng sigs and then walks around the table to sit in Nie Mingjue’s lap. Jiang Cheng has hours upon hours of therapy behind him, and he is now more or less fine with his family history and especially with his sibling’s behaviour. But it seems like Nie Mingjue is not quite as fine with this as he’d thought if his tone of voice is anything to go by.
“My heart,” Jiang Cheng starts as he leans in for a kiss. “We know how my siblings are. I’m not really that surprised. You know they never listen to me.”
“But—a delusion? As if you made all of this up? Why can’t they just believe you?”
“Because you’re perfect and wonderful and everyone can see that. And we know my siblings don’t have the best opinion of me, so of course they wouldn’t believe we’re together. Hell, some days I still can’t believe how lucky I am that you love me back,” Jiang Cheng says, hoping to lighten the mood.
“You know I love you,” Nie Mingjue whispers and tightens his arms around Jiang Cheng.
“I know,” he promises him but Nie Mingjue still seems pensive and worried. “What?” Jiang Cheng gently prods him and Nie Mingjue drops his head to Jiang Cheng’s shoulder.
“Sometimes I wonder if I made everything worse for you,” he admits, his voice barely audible. “If you wouldn’t be better off without me.”
“Never,” Jiang Cheng immediately and vehemently replies, pressing himself closer to Nie Mingjue. “You make my life better. My family was suffocating me, keeping me down, keeping me small but with you—I feel like myself, like I can finally breathe and live and love how and who I want. And for that I will always be grateful.”
“But it would have been easier with them,” Nie Mingjue still argues and Jiang Cheng wants to take these thoughts right out of his head and throw them all away.
“Easier, maybe,” he admits. “But I would take happy over easy every day. And you make me happy.”
“Are you sure?” Nie Mingjue asks, his voice small.
“My soul, I proposed to you. Of course I am sure.”
“But only because you were faster! I had the ring in my hand, too!” Nie Mingjue immediately exclaims, pulling back to glare at Jiang Cheng. “You got lucky, that’s all,” he grumbles and Jiang Cheng smiles.
Mission accomplished.
“I got so very lucky,” he agrees and laughs at Nie Mingjue’s grimace but they both sober up real quickly.
“Do you—want to talk to them?” Nie Mingjue haltingly asks and Jiang Cheng curls up in his lap as best as he can, Nie Mingjue’s arms safely around him.
“No. They have my address. They have my phone number and all my social media handles. They can reach out to me whenever they want. I am tired of always being the only one who wants to stay in contact or who makes an effort. If they don’t come to me, then that’s it.”
“And the wedding?”
“I’m not really thinking about inviting them anyway,” Jiang Cheng admits. “It would only cause drama. If they come to me before our wedding I’m sure we can figure something out but I will not allow them to ghost me for months and then invite them to the happiest moment of my life,” Jiang Cheng decidedly says and leans further into Nie Mingjue.
“Okay,” he softly agrees and brushes his lips over Jiang Cheng’s forehead. “Fine.”
“Now can we please finally eat and laugh over how absurd this entire evening is?” Jiang Cheng asks.
“As long as you are fine,” Nie Mingjue says and briefly squeezes Jiang Cheng.
“I am always fine when I am with you,” Jiang Cheng tells him but when Nie Mingjue lets go of him, he hurries back to his food. “I’m really starved,” Jiang Cheng says, his mouth already full and Nie Mingjue fondly shakes his head.
“And here I am already replaced by food,” he teases and Jiang Cheng glares at him, though he doesn’t stop to eat.
But even if Jiang Cheng could, he wouldn’t say anything because being teased by Nie Mingjue is better than seeing him in a pensive mood.
“Temporarily. Only temporarily,” he promises him, taking another bite, delighted to see Nie Mingjue’s fond smile.
“I should hope so,” Nie Mingjue grumbles, clearly teasing and Jiang Cheng smiles at him.
“I love you,” he says, almost before he really swallowed, and Nie Mingjue holds out his hand to lace their fingers together.
“I love you, too.”
And that is all Jiang Cheng really needs, siblings and parents be damned. As long as he has Nie Mingjue he’ll be more than fine.
“Evil begins when you begin to treat people as things.”
— Terry Pratchett, I Shall Wear Midnight (via books-n-quotes)
Why does Odin treat him like shit?
Because Odin is a textbook narcissist. I think @nikkoliferous has a link to a post for this
@lucianalight did an excellent five-part series on the abusive family dynamic between Odin, Frigga, Thor and Loki. I don’t have the links offhand, but @alstee has also done some great work detailing Odin’s narcissistic parenting.
Odin: we are no different than humans, we live and die just the same
Also Odin, a few scenes later: *sees Jane dying* ewww, get her out of here, why did you bring a human to Asgard??
Thor: dad, she’s sick and we can help her
Odin: humans get sick and die, it’s what they do
Thor: she’s my friend and the woman I love
Odin: did I not remind you Sif existed earlier in the film, come on son
the Aether inside Jane: hey what’s up
Odin: oh damn
Yeah, it’s not just Loki, it’s anyone that threatens Odin’s fragile ego and his distorted beliefs.
He didn’t look like he was even going to banish Thor until Thor insulted him.
He treats Frigga so nicely because she enables him. When she doesn’t…
Okay, I am not a psychologist disclaimer, I just find this topic interesting. (and sad and I also wish it was better known because this dysfunctional family dynamic is less rare than people think because it relies on everyone pretending everything is fine and normal)
Throwing a +1 recommendation to lucianalight’s series of posts, it’s what made me realize what exactly was going on with Loki and his family (I had already heard of NPD, and read a bit about it, but not made the connection to these characters).
Here is Odin hitting all the characteristics of Narcissistic Personality Disorder and a bit on how the disorder warps the way the person experiences reality:
(spoiler: that view does not actually match reality; the person believes they are the center of the universe while everyone else exists as props that cannot possibly function independently of them; they straight up alter memories or events as they happen to suit what they want to believe)
Here is a link to a website that analyses what people like Odin in real life react like when their children finally get fed up and walk away, it is very fascinating and I think it’s a good complementary reading because it’s all about what they say and believe with their own words:
(I’ve seen this linked in forums and twitter and it’s scary how many people go “This sounds exactly like my mother!”):
It’s a whole wild ride and I’m still astounded because I am fairly certain it wasn’t done on purpose in the films and yet they nailed it.
You could use the scenes where Odin, Frigga, Thor and Loki all interact with each other as examples of how the dynamic works to, like, a class of students, or something.
I too thought that Frigga was Team Loki until I reassessed things more recently.
TDW is definitely what cements the enabling role from Frigga, Thor 1 still had enough nebulous room for interpretation before that.
Like, when Loki points out that Odin and Thor are not even asking after him while he is locked up in the prison cell!
It seemed like Loki was fishing for a “they are just upset right now, honey, give them time, they still love you” reassurance from Frigga, but instead she avoids addressing that at all and goes all “it’s your fault for being stubborn, admit you are wrong and stop trying to get Odin to admit the same, you know that’s not how it works in this house”.
Loki tries to get Frigga to acknowledge that he was misled his whole life, not just about being Jotun, but about how Odin all but promised him that he had a shot at the throne, and that when Thor was going to be coronated Loki thought it was because Thor had earned it for beating Loki at their competition, not because it was always going to be him from the very beginning.
It’s a shame that we don’t know what Frigga was about to say after “your father” because I really want to know if she was going to say anything about Odin’s hypocrisy or if she was just going to deflect again.
“You know full well it was your actions that brought you here.” “My actions. I was merely giving truth to the lie that I had been fed my entire life, that I was born to be a king.” “A king? A true king admits his faults. What of the lives you took on Earth?” “A mere handful compared to the number that Odin has taken himself.” “Your father…” “He’s not my father!” “Then am I not your mother?” “You’re not.” “Always so perceptive about everyone but yourself.”
I think Frigga was far too used to Loki being the “reasonable” one who always made the first step and said sorry whenever there was an argument because she knew Odin never ever would, so she treated this whole situation as another family disagreement instead of the far more serious “this is the last straw, do y’all realize that if he wasn’t locked up Loki could just run and go no contact with Odin, low contact with Frigga and who knows what with Thor?”
And they definitely did not realize how awful it was in this context, but TDW!Frigga’s words to future!Thor in Endgame about just being who he was really cement that the two brothers were treated differently.
She was telling Thor the words that Loki had been dying to hear.
To me, the shit she says to Loki in TDW is far more unforgivable than her going along with Odin’s deception. (Along with the fact that when Loki does find out about his heritage, her method of comforting him isn’t, “there’s nothing wrong with being Jötun;” it’s essentially “it’s okay because we raised you.” Nor is there ever an acknowledgement that he absolutely was treated differently, if not by her then at least by Odin). An argument can be made that she was too afraid to defy Odin openly—we’ve seen how he handles disobedience, after all. But there’s no excuse for her chronic gaslighting and emotional blackmail.
A lot of the fandom, I think, has trouble recognising that Frigga failed Loki too, because Loki himself fails to realise it. Or if he does realise it, he fails to acknowledge it because then he truly would have been alone. So he settles for the meagre scraps of attention she gives him, even though he deserves far better. It doesn’t help that even Tom doesn’t seem to realise how complicit Frigga was in Loki’s trauma.
@dianamolloy i dont hate frigga but i was always bitter for her sayin to Loki she told Odin to tell Loki truth from the beginning. What was stopping her from doing so?
Also,in TDW,in deleted scene with Loki’s coronation. She says he casts enough illusions and forgets whats real,after seeing his illusion of holding Mjolnir. I hate that she, instaed,didnt say “you dont need Mjolnir, Loki,you are worthy and equal to Thor anyway” but no. Not a word.
I used to hate Odin and think Frigga was great. I have completely 180• my opinion of her too. They both extremely can go to hell for keeping him in the dark, plus all the One Rule for You, One Rule for Thor shenanigans. She shows in T:TDW that she will disobey Odin “I am the king my word is law” Dickhead and yet says nothing. Now sadly that is to do with bad writing on Marvel’s part bc the Frigga we see would have told Loki bc you can’t have “Jötunn are bad” narrative exist in Asgard and think Loki would just think it’s great and fine to suddenly be effectively banished to “rule” - aka do Odin’s bidding - Jötenhein having no experience with being there . However, using canon as law (in this instance I’d rarely ever) she is equally guilty and complicit for both the preferential treatment Thor got (if Odin refused to change she picked staying Queen over leaving him bc the narrative never implies she’s forced to do anything) and not telling Loki.
My father continually told me about his list in life
God
My mother
My brother & I
Other family
Friends
And today in therapy my therapist asked me how I would write that list. And I sat there and went…
I don’t want to.
I don’t want to have a static priority of all of the people in my life. My friends and family are all independently important to me and I do not want to explicitly value one above the other. I love them each on their own merit.
I especially don’t want to codify it. And tell them. How low they are on my priority list.
i saw this image and immediately felt so excited, but also so relieved.
you see– the thing about dysfunctional family mediators/providers is that media tends to portray them as “too mature” for comfort objects. in media, i see them rarely go for toys (or any comforting object in general), and they seem to have a detachment with anything that, frankly, isn’t things like books/studies/cooking/cleaning.
while it’s understandable, it’s off-putting to me, as someone who was a dysfunctional family mediator/provider. i, too, went through most of my life believing these kinds of things were immature and believed that deriving comfort and friendship from them was my hollow attempt at living life as a child, which i’ve never been able to do.
this, clearly, is false and it took me a long time to learn it. comfort objects are important and helpful for people of all ages, and the fact that so many adults are scorned from having them saddens me deeply.
i also, growing up with that bad mentality, went through years where i wouldn’t do childish things anymore, like watch cartoons, play pretend by myself with dolls (though i still loved my dolls; never threw them out ofc), but that faded away after i was in a terrible place, and childish things were the only escape that i had.
i came back to them. i loved them. i love my dolls dearly, and being near them was (and still is) incredibly important to me. it’s grounding to feel/hold them and it’s calming to see them.
this is why i’m so happy to see a character similar to me that has dolls, especially a male character. it’s so comforting and the hns team has no idea how much it meant to me to see images of maki around dolls.
for reference, i say images because this image is also so important to me.
maki being the type to derive comfort from dolls is incredibly important and such good representation for kids, teens, and adults to see!
i really hope that they show more of maki’s doll, or, at least, show it canonly a few times in the show.
