It was quiet. You were almost asleep, drowsing in the warmth of the bed, listening to the sound of your own breathing. You felt the familiar weight around your body, and felt the strong chest against your back. Your skin had been caressed by the soft lips an hour ago, and now those lips were brushing against the back of your neck.
The dim light from the streetlamp shed an orange tone on the room. It has been raining all day, but Javier’s warmth made you comfortable and cozy. You snuggled closer, taking a deep breath in satisfaction. A loud bang made you jump and wince; the noise came from outside, but not far from the house. Javier was already on his feet, his figure stood like a shadow in front of the window.
“Stay down!”
You did as he told you, lying motionless under the covers. Javier was holding onto his gun, while scanning the street. Even in the half lit room, you could see that tipical stern expression on his face that always appeared whenever he was in deep concentration. For some reason, it made you calm. You knew if he payed attention to something like that, nothing bad could happen.
“Kids,” he said finally, and put down the gun, relieved. “It’s all right.”
You nodded and waited for him to come back to bed. When he did, you rested your head on his chest, and he welcomed you in his arms without hesitation. You could feel your heart beating with a thousand miles per hour. You knew that Javier felt it, too.
“It’s all right,” he said soothingly, while gently caressing your back. “I’m here.”
“I know,” you said shakily. “It’s just… ever since…”
“I know, Cariño.”
You fell silent. Even though Javier totally understood, you still felt ashamed. The attack on you had happened only two months ago. Yes, it had been for a while. But at the same time, it still lived vividly in your head.
You shivered.
“Are you okay?” Javier spoke softly, as if he was afraid that his tone would harm you.
You looked up to him. His face was shadowed by the darkness, but you could still make out his features if you really tried. The fuzzy hair, the shape of his nose, the mustache and the soft lips. You chose the lips, pressing a soft kiss onto them.
“Stay with me and I’ll be okay,” you said, feeling absolutely vulnerable. You hated exposing yourself like this. But at the same time, you couldn’t help it. When Javier was with you, you couldn’t hold back.
“You know I’m trying,” he said, reaching for your face and placing your hair behind your ears. “Soon —”
“I know,” you said quickly, because you didn’t want him to believe that you were selfish. Escobar and his men were facing serious danger now, and everyone felt in their bones that the end of his reign was coming. “I meant… I just innocently wish that you could stay a little longer.
You sighed and chuckled at your ridiculous wording.
“Innocently?” Javier asked teasingly. “I don’t know about that.” He kissed you delicately, then pressed soft kisses all over your face. When he pulled away, he took a deep breath as if he wanted to say something, but then stopped.
“What is it?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Come with me to America.”
Silent fell on the room. You chuckled.
“What are you talking about?”
He didn’t respond. In the darkness you couldn’t see his eyes and it drove you mad.
“Javi?”
“They’re sending me back.”
“What do you mean they’re sending you back? Why?”
“I don’t think you should hear it.”
His voice was low and rusty, all the warmth had disappeared from it. You asked cautiously.
“Did you… do something —”
“Bad? No…”
“Illegal?”
He stayed silent and your stomach formed into a tight knot. You reached for his face, cupping his cheek.
“Did you do something… shady, so that you could help more people?”
You felt him nodding. You swallowed. You had seen the news. And you weren’t stupid.
“Is it… something about the Cali Cartel?”
Quiet.
“Javier?”
“Yes.”
“And they’re sending you home for it?”
“Yes.”
“When?”
“Tomorrow.”
“What?!”
You sat up, fully awake, outraged. You looked down on Javier’s dark silhouette.
“Why are you only telling me this now?”
His voice sounded bittersweet.
“Cause I knew you wouldn’t come with me.”
“And?”
“And I didn’t wanna spend our last day with saying our goodbyes.”
“Why?” you asked, hurt. “Cause it’s not your style?”
He stayed quiet for a few second before he answered.
“Yes.”
You felt your throat hurting, you felt your eyes stinging. You turned away, facing the other side of the room. You didn’t wanna cry. But you felt so betrayed. Again.
A hand appeared on your back and Javier sat closer to you, gently pulling you to himself.
“I’m sorry. I thought I was doing something right. I fucked up.”
“You did,” you answered at once.
“It had no intention to hurt you.”
You nodded, but didn’t respond. Simply accepting the thought to say goodbye to Javier was outrageous. You felt incredibly anger in you towards him for keeping this from you. But at the same time, you didn’t want to hold grudges if he really had to leave. And, nevertheless, you felt panic building up inside you, knowing that he’s going to leave. You didn’t want him to leave. You had stayed in this country mostly for him. He knew how to talk to you. He knew how to make you calm, or hype you up. He knew the little things that made you happy, and he knew how to be there for you whenever you needed him. And you needed him. Just as much - and now you surely knew that it was true - he needed you.
“So where would we go?”
You felt him turn to you.
“We?”
“Yes. Where would we go?”
He placed a small kiss on your shoulder.
“Texas.
You shook your head in disbelief.
“Texas. And where would we live?”
“In my family home. Maybe not far from it.”
“And what’d we do?”
He chuckled and kissed your neck, whispering.
“You’d meet my dad. He’d love you. We’d also go to visit all the family. I have some cousin who is about to get married. I’d take you to the weding. Show you off. Then, when no one is watching, we’d sneak out, get in the car, and I’d drove us to a place that I visited a lot when I was younger. You can see the whole city from up there, with the stars abo —”
“When did you get this romantic?” you cut him off. You turned around to look into his eyes. The beam from the streetlamp painted them in the color of chestnut. Around them, wrinkles lined his face. He was smiling.
“Since I really want to impress you.”
You nodded and turned back. You really didn’t know what to do. You came here to start a new life. To find yourself. To leave this all behind again would be… would be…
“But you don’t have to come,” said Javier huriedly. “If it’d be too much… I don’t wanna force you to —”
“I’ll come with you,” you said. It was strange, but you felt it to be right. “But only because it’s you. I doubt that staying here will make any sense if you’re not here with me.”
Javier shook his head in surprise. His lips were parted as if he was breathing in a very careful manner. You loved those lips.
“You’re crazy,” he said. You smiled and kissed him gently, in a was that you had been wanting to do it for months. He melted into the kiss, holding you close to his chest. You pulled him as close as you could, your fingers playing with his hair.
“I love you,” you said, once pulling away. “And what’s another start over for me? At least now it’s with the right person.”
“I love you, too,” he said with a smile, kissing you on the cheek. “And I’d say you’re right, Cariño.”
—
Hey there!
Thank you so much for reading this little mini-series of mine. Feel free to give me your thoughts, and to check out my other storieshere.
Summary:After a lot of arguing, you finally tell Javier how you feel. But what happens after, when you find out who was behind the murder attempt on your life?
“And this is when they broke down the door?” the lady asked while writing in a notebook. You were staring at the table and answered quietly.
“Yes.”
“What happened after?”
“I… uh… I hid in the bathroom,” you voice was shaking and you felt sick. “I closed the door and… uh… pushed the cabinet in front of it. They tried to… break in and… started shooting and kicking the door.”
“For how long?”
“I don’t know,” you said, shivering. “Some time. I held the cabinet from the inside but… they were stronger. But when they kicked in the door they… heard the cars outside. The police, I guess.”
The woman wrote something, nodding. She seemed disturbingly calm.
“And this is when they grabbed you?”
“All right, that’s enough.”
Javier, who had been standing behind you in the corner of the interrogation room, now stepped closer and gently grabbed your shoulder. You fell at ease at once and took a deep breath. The woman looked up, raising an eyebrow.
“We need to get the details of the incident.”
“I can give you the rest,” Javier said impatiently and opened the door. “Come by my office whenever you like.”
The woman didn’t answer. She looked at you but you casted down your eyes. You felt really uneasy. Finally, she gathered her papers and left for the door, but not before she stopped in front of Javier.
“No wonder nothing gets done around here, Peña.”
“What a shame,” he said without the least amount of compassion, then shut the door.
You reached for your glass of water on the table and started sipping it. Javier pulled the woman’s chair over and sat down next to you.
“Are you okay?”
You shrugged, avoiding his gaze. From the corner of your eyes you saw him hesitating, then he reached out, offering his hand. You took it. His warmth made you feel much more safer. You looked at him.
“I’m just trying to figure out how did they know.”
“That the picture is from you?”
You nodded. Javier gently squeezed your fingers.
“At the DEA I am the only one who knew it was from you. And not many people saw the picture itself, either.”
“I know,” you said tensely. “But someone still knew.”
“You didn’t show it to anyone, right?” he asked in an interrogative manner. You frowned.
“Of course not.”
You looked down at your intertwined fingers. You knew that he was just worried, but his stern mood made you uneasy. You were incredibly grateful to him, though. If he hadn’t shown up…
You closed your eyes, trying to calm down. You had to remember. You concentrated, trying to go over the day from months before, when you had taken the photograph. What had happened exactly? You had gone to work, you had taken photos… it had been really warm that day… Danilo had been there as well, asking you out again… after that, you had gone home, but only recognized the men on the photograph a few days after.
You opened your eyes and looked up.
“I went to the police station,” you said quietly. Javier leaned closer.
“Go on.”
“When I had the picture… I went to the police station with it. I didn’t know what to do.”
Javier sat up straight, his face in deep concentration.
“Did you show it to anyone?”
“No,” you shook your head at once, trying to pierce things together. “No, I didn’t… I only…I…”
“What?” asked Javier impatiently. He looked tense. “What is it, Liz?”
“I showed it to Danilo,” you said slowly, frowning. “But he can’t… he couldn’t…”
You locked eyes with Javier and witnessed how he realized the meaning behind your words. His face darkened by the second.
“When was the last time you talked to him?” he asked tensely.
“Yesterday,” you said at once, thinking. “He… He wanted to hang out, he… asked me if I was home.”
Javier looked up, alert.
“He didn’t show up.”
“No,” you shook your head. Then quickly added, “he was supposed to come over later, I’m not sure if… Where are you going?”
“Stay here.”
“Javier!” you stood up, too, standing in his way. “Where are you going?”
“I’ll pay your friend a visit.”
You felt all the blood leaving your face. You started shaking your head vehemently.
“Are you insane? It’s bad enough that I even had the idea to think he did something… What if I’m wrong and he’ll hate me forever?”
Javier stopped and closed his eyes in concentration. When he looked at you again, his face was dead serious.
“You’re telling me that he saw the picture.”
“Yes.”
“And he called you yesterday.”
“Yes, but…”
“He still hasn’t shown up,” he said, cutting you off.
“Yes, but…”
“Liz!”
“We can’t be sure, Javier! If we mess this up… He’s my friend! He’ll never forgive me if I accuse him of something like this!”
“He still needs to be investigated!”
“Please!” You grabbed his arms desperately, “I don’t want you to break down his door and arrest him!”
“Oh, it’s not gonna be just me. I’m calling a team.”
“Please, Javier,” you were literally begging now. “Please, let me call him!”
“So he can realize what’s going on? Hell no.”
“I just wanna talk to him…”
“If you call him, you’ll let him know we’re coming!”
“Then I’ll go over,” you said, determined. Javier’s already stressed face turned even more tense.
“No fucking way. If he had any connection to yesterday’s….”
“Why wouldn’t you just let me —”
“Because I don’t wanna lose you!”
You took a step back in surprise. Javer was panting, his expression angry, his muscles tense. He was clenching his jaw and you could see how hard it was for him to talk in a low voice.
“I am not going to lose you. After yesterday… No way. There’s just no way.”
He opened the door, but before stepping out, he turned back slightly, talking to the floor.
“I’ll call you later. Let you know what we found out. After that, I’m buying you a fucking ticket home.”
He stepped out of the room and turned left on the hallway. You were tearing up. You just couldn’t believe that one of your very small group of friends would betray you. And you knew how hurtful it would be for Danilo, if he found out that you accused him of anything like this. Javier had no right. He had no right doing this. You wiped your tears away and followed him outside, shouting at his back.
“I hate you!”
He stopped, but didn’t turn around immediately. You thought he was going to be angry, but quite the opposite: he looked distressed, almost in agony. His eyes met yours across the hallway.
“I’d rather have you hate me, than be dead.”
Then he left and you didn’t follow him.
——
Through the whole afternoon you sat by the phone in your office. You didn’t want to talk to anyone. Your tears had stopped by then, but the guilty feeling did not pass. You couldn’t stop thinking about Danilo. He had always been so nice to you. He had always been there for you, whenever you needed him. And now, thanks to you, your friendship was coming to a painful end. He had stood by your side when you felt down. He had been there when Javier had not. He… he had promised to come over yesterday… But he had not shown up.
You closed your eyes and took a few deep breaths. You were so confused. You wanted to go for a walk to clear your head. You stood up and left your office, heading outside. However, something stopped you. Around the main office, where Javier’s and Steve’s desks stood, the ususal buzzing of the place was missing. To be exact, there were very few people around.
“Where is everyone?” you asked a passing officer in concern. He looked up, confused.
“On the raid,” he said with an accent. “The Americans requested back up on an arrest.”
You nodded, your stomach shrinking to a size of a nut. The officer went on, leaving you behind. You made a fist and then released it, shaking your hands anxiously. You had no idea what to do.
What was going on? You poured yourself a glass of water and started sipping it. The surface of the water was shaking as you were holding the cup. This can mean a lot of things. Javier requesting back up didn’t necessarily mean that he was in trouble. He might just wanted to play safe. But what if he didn’t? What if something really bad was going on? It cannot be. Please, it cannot be.
But what if it was? What if everything was true, and Danilo did have some connection to the attack on you? He had called, but never shown up. He had not tried to contact you since. And now the whole DEA is there with police back up, and you had no idea what to do.
What if Javier was right? Not even that, but… what if he really was in danger? And the… and the last thing you had ever said to him was that you hated him. You sat down on an empty chair and closed your eyes. Immense guilt was rushing through you. You hated feeling like this, and you hated that you always made statements in the heat of the moment. You hated that you always rushed into conclusions, and there was nothing left after but guilt and shame.
And so you waited.
You had to force yourself not to check the clock every ten seconds. You forced yourself to keep calm, to think about something else. It was horrible, and always had been… waiting for Javier to return from a mission… from a mission that was not guaranteed to be a successful one.
But you didn’t want to think about that. So you waited.
It felt like an incredibly long time had passed, when finally you heard noises and people from around the front of the building. You stood up, rushing through the hallway, heading for the crowd. The first two man you passed were in green uniform, holding a rifle in their hands. The next second you saw a pair of cops, leading someone in cuffs. As you stepped closer, with a painful sting in your heart, you recognized Danilo. You had seen him before he saw you, but when he did, the usual smile and the sparkle in his eyes were missing.
“Danilo!” you tried to get to him, but the cops didn’t let you. “Let me — !”
“Can’t do,” said one of the cops sternly. “Ma’am, please step away.”
“He didn’t do anything!” you said, panicking. The first cop narrowed his eyes.
“Ma’am, he attacked three police officers during his arrest and killed one agent. I order you to let us through.”
“Kill… what?”
But they left, pushing you aside. Danilo didn’t even look at you, he kept his head low. You wanted to scream. You wanted to run after him, making sure he’s okay. But then the words of the officer slowly crawled into your mind, and you stepped back, trying not to faint.
Killed one agent.
You sprinted down the stairs, running towards the entrance, where you knew the arriving task force would be. Your heart was beating rapidly and you started to feel sharp pain in your chest. You were looking everywhere; every passing agent, every arriving officer… but none of them was him. You started panicking and ran outside to where a lot of cars were still arriving.
You stopped for a second, until you were able to take a deep breath. Then, you started scanning through the crowd, stumbling uncertanly among the people. You were sure that they would take the injured to the hospital. What about the dead? Where would they take the dead?
You couldn’t take it anymore. Panick and fear made your heart race, and blood was throbbing in your ears. You started running again, more desperate and scared with each passing second. You couldn’t breath. You couldn’t see. He was not there. He was not there.
And then he was.
“Javier!” you screamed and started running. He didn’t hear you. “Javier!”
He turned around just in time to catch you, crashing against his chest. As soon as you wrapped your arms around him, all the fear and panick left your body. With relief came the tears; you were sobbing into his shoulder while Javier firmly pulled you to him, his strong arms around your back.
“Hey…” he said gently, and you heard the worry in his voice. “It’s okay…”
“I’m so sorry!” you sobbed, hugging him as tight as you could. “I’m s-sorry! I don’t hate you!”
“Oh…” he said in a surprised tone. Then, he gently brushed his fingers through your hair. “That’s good to hear.”
You pulled away from him, but only to look into his eyes. He seemed confused, distressed… sad.
“I don’t hate you,” you said again.
“I know,” he said, his brown eyes full of kindness and care.
“I love you,” you said, without thinking.
It happened faster than lightning, and his lips were on yours, his hands still on your back, pulling you closer and closer. You melted into his arms, taking in his smell and the taste of his lips on yours. Adrenaline was coursing through your body once again, but this time you craved it. And you were holding onto him as well, wanting more and more. You felt safe. You felt free. And you were happy. Once his lips left yours, you didn’t back away, and neither did he. He placed a small kiss on your cheek, then one on your forehead. You raised your head to meet his eyes. Finally, you smiled.
“Fucking finally,” he said, his voice unusually warm. You smiled and gently caressed his cheek, feeling stubble under your fingers.
Then, the bubble around you burst, and you were aware of your surroundings again. People were still talking around you, and there was still something left to do. You casted down your eyes.
“Who died?”
Javier clenched his jaw. He looked away, chewing on his tongue, then answered with his eyes narrowed.
“Juarez.”
You nodded. You had barely seen the guy, but it was enough to make you feel sick. You locked eyes with Javier.
“I need to talk to him.”
“That son of a bitch was about to escape when he started shooting people. There’s no fucking way I’ll let you go in that room.”
“He’ll be in cuffs,” you said. “Please. He might talk to me. I need to know what happened.”
He was thinking for a long time, but you didn’t give in. And Javier knew you wouldn’t. He nodded slowly, chewed on his tongue a bit more, then said:
“I’ll be on the other side of the door. And you won’t go near him. No contact. You’ll only talk.”
“Okay,” you said quickly, agreeing before he’d change his mind.
“And if I say time’s up, if I say he’s about to play rough, you come out. Immediately.”
“Yeah,” you said, suddenly eager to act. Javier nodded.
“Fine. Let’s go.”
Once inside, Javier lead you to the room where you first met him, the day you had come in with the photograph. You stopped uncertainly before the door, eyeing the two guards standing in front of it. You felt Javier’s hand on your back.
“You don’t have to go in.”
“I want to,” you said, feeling detemined but anxious. Javier nodded.
“I’ll be here. You’ll have around ten minutes before we need to properly question him.”
You took a deep breath and grabbed the doorknob. You opened the door slowly and stepped inside.
Danilo was sitting by the table, his hands tied together. As you closed the door and took a few steps towards him, he looked up.
“Hi,” you said, feeling shy and nervous.
“Hi,” he said indifferently. You were unsure where to start. You were also unsure whether you wanted to start at all.
You took one step closer, but stopped. You felt Javier’s invisible eyes on your from behind the door.
“Are you here to help me?” asked Danilo. His usual warmth was missing from every word he said. “Or are you here to question me?”
“I’m here to ask you the truth.”
“The truth.”
He raised his eyebrows. He looked like a completely different person as he leaned back on his chair, coolly, dismissively.
“The truth is that I’ve asked you out twenty seven times. Did you know that?”
“N…no,” you said uncomfortably. You were not sure where this was going.
Danilo shrugged.
“I could’ve protected you.”
“What are you talking about?”
You felt extremely nervous. Danilo’s strange behaviour made you uneasy as hell.
“You should’ve just given me that fucking picture. But you had to run to the DEA, didn’t you?” he chuckled darkly, then his cold smile faded. “You had to run to that fucking Peña.”
He spat. You jumped in shock.
“You said a lot of cops were dirty,” you started, your voice shaking. You didn’t want to believe what was happening. “D…did you mean yourself?”
“I never lied to you, did I?”
You felt the whole room spinning.
“I can’t believe this,” you said, tearing up. “You… Did you mean yourself?!”
“I could’ve protected you,” you mumbled coldly. “I could’ve given you a good life.”
“We… we were just friends.”
He stared. He stayed quiet while he looked you up and down, then leaned forward and started speaking very fast.
“Should’ve been more. Liz, you were always so self-absorbed, you didn’t even see the possibilities we could’ve had. Through my connections… With you by my side…”
“You’re crazy,” you blurted out. Danilo didn’t like it.
“I am the crazy one? You stayed in the country, despite the fact that the whole fucking cartel was after you!”
“You knew about that?” you asked, stunned. A horrible thought occured to you. “Did you know about the attack on me as well?”
Danilo shrugged while not taking his eyes off you.
“Who do you think told them where to find you?”
You gasped for air while your brain was trying to process this information.
“All… all because I didn’t go out with you? All because… how can you… I trusted you!”
He slammed the table so fast it caught you by surprise. He stood up, kicking his chair behind, his face furious.
You never heard what he wanted to say. The door on your right opened, and Javier appeared with Murphy by his side.
“All right motherfucker, calm down,” said Murphy, pointing at him from a distance. He kept his other hand on his belt, ready to grab his gun.
“You okay?” Javier stepped to you, gently cupping your face. You needed a moment, but then nodded.
“Yeah. Let’s get out of here.”
And fighting your tears, you left the room, ready to never see Danilo again.
Summary: Even though they admitted their feelings, Liz and Javier don’t talk, until one day when she needs him more than ever, when her life is in danger. Will Javier be able to save her?
Warnings: Cursing, Blood, Death, Angst, very little fluff at the end
It was stupid to think that Javier could ever feel the same way about you. You despised your naive thoughts and hopes, and you absolutely hated how hurt you were. You were not supposed to feel like that. You knew he didn’t deserve it. You knew it had been a pipe dream, you knew you had just been a toy to him, and you knew that he wasn’t into you. Maybe to fuck, sure. You knew his ways. But you also knew that you didn’t want to involve him in your life anymore.
However, Javier thought otherwise. He made extra effort to talk to you every single day. He was always waiting for you in your office, determined to talk to you, desperate to explain, to make it right. You were sick of it, especially since you craved those times when you had spent hours together. But you stayed strong, even on those days when you wanted nothing but fall into his arms. You wanted to give in so bad… but what stopped you was the things you had seen. You had watched Javier charm other women to get what he wanted… it was just his way of doing things. A slight touch on the arm, the cupping of the cheeks… eventually they had all given in.
But you were too ashamed. You felt humiliated. So you stood your ground. Until the next Wednesday, when he caught you off-guard while you were looking for some old negatives in a room full of useless old files.
Your eyes went wide as you saw him standing there. He was wearing a light suit and tie, but his hair was all messed up. He closed the door and with a stern expression on his face, he pointed a finger at you.
“I’m ending this bullshit. You won’t let me come clean for weeks now.”
“Well, maybe that’s because I don’t want to hear whatever you want to say,” you said, taking a step back.
“At least give me a chance.”
“I don’t want to,” you said, determined to end the conversation. Javier took a step closer.
“Liz… please. I…”
“I don’t care,” you said loudly and clearly. His pleading eyes broke your heart.
“Leave me alone Javier.”
He suddenly narrowed his eyes.
“Why do you care so much?”
“Excuse me?” you said, questioning him. He chewed his tongue, thinking.
“Why is what happened such a big deal for you?”
You felt really uncomfortable. You tried to keep your reaction to the minimum, but it was hard.
“I couldn’t care less about what happened.”
He snorted.
“Liar.”
“What the —”
“Do you feel something for me?”
“What?” you said, now alarmed. Javier was intensely locking eyes with you. You stepped back, hitting the edge of your table. There was no way out. “Do you feel something for me?” he said again, this time barely louder than a whisper. His eyes were full of hope and pleading. Once again, you found yourself longing for him, not wanting to do anything but kiss those beautiful lips so close to yours. You had to gather every strength to answer.
“No.”
You wanted to look away but he didn’t let you. His eyes kept yours as their prisoners, and there was no escape. You became very conscious of your breathing. It was hard to breath. Javier closed the distance between the two of you, leaving only an inch of space. He seemed determined, but uncertain at the same time. He was still whispering when he spoke.
“What if I do?”
“What… What do you mean?” you said, barely able to form the words. He was just… so close.
“What if I… feel something for you?”
The question hang in the air. Javier glanced at your lips. It was a quick glance but you didn’t need more. You pushed him away in rage and shouted.
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
He looked shocked.
“What is wrong with you?”
“Do you seriously want to tell me, that you have feelings for me? After what you’ve done?!”
“I thought you didn’t care wh —”
“Oh, shut up, of course I care!”
“But you said —”
“Of course I have feelings for you!” you said, totally letting down your guard. You just didn’t care anymore. Also, you were extremely angry. Javier, however, lit up.
“So you’ll say we can… you know.”
“You cannot be serious,” you said, shaking your head in disbelief. Javier frowned.
“Why? What do you want from me?”
“I don’t know, maybe don’t bring a hooker next time when I’m coming over.”
You went around him and headed for the door. He called after you in despair.
“Liz, come on, I’m… I’m really sorry about —”
“You’ve hurt me, Javier,” you said, looking over your shoulder. “You had feelings for me, and you were still fucking around… I feel awful. I just wanna forget that we ever met.”
“Can’t we try again?” he asked hopefully, casting down his eyes. You shook your head.
“You really are an asshole.”
And with that, you left.
——
Javier didn’t look for your company anymore. You missed him immensely, and you couldn’t stop thinking about what he had told you. But at the same time, your pride was bigger and your urge to forgive, and that made it really hard to just go up to him and talk about what happened. So you didn’t talk at all.
Instead, you spent most of your freetime alone, or with Danilo. It wasn’t as easy being aound him than it was with Javier, but you were fine. It helped to have some company, especially since you felt as if you were back on square one, considering the friendships you had made since being here.
“How about I’ll come over later?” Danilo asked on the phone. You rolled your eyes, but didn’t mind that much. “Will you be at home around six?”
You looked at the clock, it was a little after five. You nodded.
“Sure. Sounds good.”
“All right. See you, then.”
You hung up the phone and took the Spanish dictionary to finish a homework you had for the weekend class. It was nice, learning new things. You just wished that life was easier, and you would be able to concentrate on this thing. You constantly forgot what you were doing; all you could think of was the emptiness in your stomach, that couldn’t be filled with any kind of food.
You went to the kitchen and poured yourself a glass of water, when you heard it. A car stopped in front of your house, its tires squeeking on the concrete. You raised your head in suspicion and looked at the clock; it was too early for Danilo to arrive. You went to the windows and peaked from behind the curtains. Outside stood a huge, red car; next to it two men in dark clothes. Both of them was holding a rifle.
Alone.
Your first thought was that you were completely alone. You were going to die, and a strange calmness came over you. It felt weird. It felt strange, knowing that this was the end.
Then, as the adrenaline kicked in, your limps started shaking and your brain froze. The fog of fear blurred your mind, and you wanted to run, you wanted to hide, but you were stuck there, looking out the window, unable to move. You watched as the two man walked up to your front door and said something to each other. You forgot to breathe.
As one of them raised his hand to knock on the door, something hit you and you were awake. You stumbled over to the phone, dialing the first and only number that came to your mind. You messed up three times because of your shaky fingers, and while you were struggling with your tears and your breathing, you heard that downstairs the door was kicked in.
There was dialing, and when you heard his voice, you actually started to cry.
“Peña.”
“Javier!” you sobbed, trying to talk as understandably as you could. It was really hard. “They’re here.”
——
Javier had never been more terrified in his entire life. The technical team behind him was ready to fight, but he had no idea what would wait for him when he arrived at your house. He drove like crazy, almost running over a couple of kids crossing the street. He honked at them angrily and cursed like a maniac. No one in the car said a word.
He thought about the last time you two had spoken. He remembered the shame and the anger in your eyes, and he remembered how guilty it had made him feel. He also remembered how horrible it had been when you had been giving him the cold shoulder. He had wanted to talk to you for so long… he had been waiting for your call… but not like this. Not with your life in danger.
He couldn’t help it. Just a for a second, but he imagined what would happen — no. No, this couldn’t be happening. It won’t be happening. Not, if it was up to him.
The only problem was, that it was not up to him.
He drove on. He had never been a praying man; but now his hands were trembling as he squeezed the wheel, and he found himself silently begging to anyone who would listen.
He turned right on your street and pushed the gas with enormous strength. The houses flew by the car, and finally, at the end of the street he saw your apartent window. In front of the house, a red jeep was standing. They were still here.
He stopped the car, and two other policemen parked theirs behind him. He got out immediately and looked up at your window. His heart was beating incredibly fast, and he had to make a huge effort not to kick in the door and run up to you by himself.
Five policemen joined him, and one of them went up to the door, ready to break in. In that moment, shots were fired upstairs, and everyone ducked. A man was standing in the window with a rifle, shooting at one of the cars. Javier, with many others fired back, but the guy disappeared behind the wall.
“We’re going i —!” Javier shouted, but was cut off by a terrible scream. His whole body froze, and fear started eating his heart. He felt like he was gonna throw up. It was you, screaming.
Another man came back to the window, but was shot immediately and fell down to the pavement. Javier heard the bones crack, and he knew that there was one problem less. He tried to focus, wanting to make a run for the entrance, but in that moment the door opened, and two people appeared in front of him.
——
“I’ll kill her!” you heard the man shouting, and you were sure that you were gonna die. You couldn’t see anything as he dragged you outside, blood, sweat and tears blurrying your sight. All you saw was a bunch of faceless people around you, and all you felt was a cold feeling on your temple.
You sobbed as you felt the man behind you moving, grabbing onto your neck. You couldn’t breath properly, and while everyone was shouting around you, all you could think of was air. You were choking, still backing away from everyone. The red car came to your view, and you whined, but didn’t dare to refuse moving.
There was intense shouting around you and you couldn’t understand a word. You were still fighting for air. At once, the man behind you stopped, and you actually had a moment to look around.
“Drop the fucking gun!”
“Let her go and we’ll make a deal!”
“Drop it!”
“Let the woman go!”
“Shoot me and I’ll kill her!”
The man behind you shouted something and you felt him grabbing you with even more force. You stumbled, almost breaking your ankle. At your head, the end of the ice cold gun was pressing into your bone.
You looked around, looking for him. And then, he was there. It felt as though everything slowed down, and the voices around you got really mushy, not coherent anymore. He was wearing a green vest, holding a gun in his hand. He was looking at you. You had never seen his face so scared, so much in agony before. Your eyes met, and in that moment you realized that you were going to die. You started panting, your tears falling again. And you saw him looking over your shoulder, then back at you, and him realizing as well, what was about to happen.
“Look at me,” you saw him forming the words, and even though you couldn’t hear him, you heard his voice in your head. “Only me.”
You nodded and sobbed, terrified. But you managed. He was holding your eyes, and you let go of everything else. It was only him existing in front of you, Javier and no one else, and you were fine with that. He kept on talking to you while all around you chaos rose. You were captivated by his eyes, and he didn’t let go of yours even for a second.
You knew something was going to happen before it had happened. Javier’s eyes left yours as he looked behind you, and a second after you heard a shot and felt yourself being pushed to the ground. The weight of the man from behind you was gone, but you didn’t dare to look up.
“Liz!”
You felt a hand on your arm and you winced and screamed, and jumped and cried. It was Javier. He was up-close, his face only a few inches away from yours. You turned around vehemently and saw the man on the concrete, his blood everywhere. His gun was fallen out of his hands, a few metres away from where he lay.
You crawled backwards, and Javier held you in his arms. You couldn’t take your eyes off the dead man on the concrete.
“Don’t look,” Javier said, and gently held onto your chin and turned your head away. You felt his hand shaking, and his eyes were full with fear.
You buried your face into his neck, and you felt his arms around you. You couldn’t breathe from the sobbing. You panted and cried, and he tried to caress your back, but it did nothing. You had never felt more scared your entire life. You were glued to him, and didn’t want to move. You were squeezing his shirt in your palm, dirtying it with your blood and tears.
“It’s all right,” you heard him whisper into your ears. He was holding you tight, and he was pressing soft kisses on your temple. “It’s okay.”
You felt him moving and you winced, holding onto him, too anxious to let go.
“It’s okay,” he said, and gently started to lift you as he stood up. “I’m just taking you away.”
He held you in his arms and carried you to an ambulance, which just arrived. He gently placed you on it’s floor, and turned back to look at all the others covering the body and going up to the flat to search it. You reached out and grabbed his hand, panicking.
“Don — don’t go!”
Your voice was barely audiable and it hurt as you spoke. Javier looked at your neck in fear, then tried with a smile and sat down next to you.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he said and cupped your cheek as you leaned against him. You grabbed onto him tight, crying, while he was soothing your back. About twenty minutes later someone came to check on you, but Javier sent them away.
You were sitting there for almost an hour. During that time, they examined your house, took the bodies away, and filled a bunch of papers, one of which Javier signed as well.
“We have to ask for your statement,” said one of the policemen, coming over to you. By this time you mostly calmed down - at least the crying was over - but you didn’t want to speak. “Miss?”
“Later,” Javier said, annoyed. He only had to take one look at you. The man nodded hesitantly.
“We need to question her tomorrow the latest.”
“Fine.”
He left and Javier leaned closer to you.
“Do you need anything?”
You shook your head slightly, barely able to pay attention to what he was saying.
“No.”
Your throat hurt as you spoke. Javier gently touched your cheek and made you look at him.
“Maybe you should get some sleep.”
You nodded, your lips trembling.
“I don’t wanna stay here.”
“You won’t. You’re gonna stay at mine.”
The police were finishing up, cleaning up the place. Somebody slammed a door with a loud thud and it made you jump. You shivered.
“It’s okay… I’m here.”
Javier look deeply in your eyes for a second, and you found yourself a bit more relaxed. His gaze calmed you and made you feel safe. You never wanted to look at anything else.
“Can we go now?” you asked, your voice raspy. Javier nodded.
“Come.” ——
Once in his apartment, Javier couldn’t take off his eyes of the bathroom door, behind which you had been washing the blood off yourself for half an hour now. His leg was anxiously shaking. All he could feel was relief, but he couldn’t think of anything else, but today. The way you looked at him while that motherfucker was holding you made his insides boil with anger and fear. Whatever would happen in the future, he knew that he will never forget what happened today.
The bathroom door opened and he stood up, looking at you. You looked absolutely miserable. Your neck had purple markes from the hands of the man and your left cheek was swollen as well. On your temple a slight cut was visible, and on your hands bruises and scars marked the skin. But the worst parts were the eyes. Javier had never seen so much sadness and despair in anyone’s eyes.
“Would you like to… drink something?” he asked lowly, not sure what to offer to help you. “Or eat, maybe?”
You shook your head, avoiding his eyes.
“I just want to sleep. Can I… can I have the couch, please.”
Despite everything that had happened, Javier couldn’t help but smile, even if it only lasted for a second. You were so incredibly innocent.
“I’ve made the bed for you. Figured you’d like the privacy.”
“You?” you asked, obviously chewing your tongue. Javier shrugged.
“I’ll take the couch. You’re sure you’re not hungry?”
“Yeah,” you said, crossing the living room. “I’m sure.”
You closed the bedroom door behind you, and all of a sudden Javier felt incredibly alone. He looked at his watch; it was only eight in the evening. He sighed, and went to the kitchen to make himself a sandwich. He wasn’t quite sure what to do with himself. He wanted to comfort you. He was sure you were feeling miserable in there, but he didn’t want to overstep any boundaries. He wasn’t even sure if you’d talk to him. Since, the two of you had not really been talking lately.
After nine o’clock, he could not take it anymore. He took a quick shower, then opened the couch and made his bed, lying down with a restrained sigh. He wished he could sleep, he wished he could forget things for a few hours. But sleep didn’t come. He was tossing in bed, struggling with insomnia. He wondered if you could fall asleep, or if you were wide awake, too.
Around midnight he heard noises from your room. It only took him ten seconds to realize that you were sniffing. He was conflicted. Should he go to you, ask whether you needed some company? Or should he just leave you alone? Should he just pretend that he doesn’t hear your crying? He didn’t want to do that. But letting you suffer just made him feel miserable.
He was thinking for an hour, but when finally made up his mind to knock on your door, he realized that the crying stopped. His heart broke to the thought of you sobbing yourself to sleep. He wished he wasn’t such a fucking idiot. He wished he had the balls to make up his mind.
He was slightly asleep himself, when he heard the bedroom door opening. He didn’t move. If you only headed for the bathroom, he didn’t want you to know that he was listening. He heard your footsteps, but they were coming from close. He heard your breathing from next to his head.
“Javi?”
He sat up at once, not pretending anymore. In the dim moonlight he saw your face covered with tears. Your lips were trembling and you were looking at him so desperately, that he thought he was going to lose his mind.
“What is it, honey?”
“I don’t wanna be alone,” you whispered, and Javier heard your voice break. He reached for your hands and held onto them kindly, as if he was holding a flower.
“You don’t have to be.”
You sobbed and he moved aside. You climbed into the bed next to him, and he opened his arms to you. You snuggled as close as you could, and Javier carefully put his arms around you; one under your head, one over your back. He felt your hands grabbing onto his shirt.
“I’m here,” he whispered into your ear, before kissing your temple. “Sleep.”
Summary: As Liz’s life is suddenly in danger again, Javier desperately tries to keep her safe. However, when she gets her heart broken, things come to a miserable end.
You were hurrying down the hallway but even before entering the main office space you saw that Javier’s and Steve’s desks were empty. You looked around nervously; a lot of familiar faces were missing.
“Trujillo!” you lit up when saw the man coming down the stairs. He raised his eyebrows, seeing you running towards him. “Hey. Do you know if Javier —”
“Not back yet,” he said, looking down at the documents in his hand. You frowned.
“How come you’re not out there with them?”
“Paperwork,” he said shortly. It was clear he didn’t want to waste his time with you. You bit your lips.
“Do you know when they’ll —”
“No. Sorry.”
He tried an apologetic look, but moved on right after. You looked around. Everyone seemed so calm and focused on their work. Were they not aware that something big and dangerous might be happening just in these minutes? You sat down onto Javier’s chair and buried your face into your hands. Your skin was burning. You tried to think about something else… but the picture you had taken months before was floating around in your mind, not wanting to leave.
Javier had said somehing about a drug lab… You remembered all those busts and killings from the news… What if something happens… What if…
“Shut up…” you mumbled into your hands and sighed. Every time. Every damn time when Javier had to work, you felt like this. Why did you have to feel like this?! All this anxiety and worry. You hated it. And you hated him, for making you feel this way — even though he had no idea that he made you feel like this.
Time crawled like a snail; sitting at the table what felt like ages was only a minute. You counted the minutes, not looking up, and slowly, painfully slowly, time went by. Fifteen minutes. Thirty minutes. An hour. An hour and a half, then two. At noon you felt your stomach rumbling, but you were unable to eat anything. At one o’clock, Trujillo left you a glass of water on the table. You took it gratefully, drinking the whole glass with three gulps.
Around three in the afternoon you saw moving around the office, and it seemed like the number of people were increasing. You looked around, nervously standing up from the table.
“What’s happening?” you said to one of the agents. “Qué pasa?”
“Drug bust,” he said with an accent. “Twelve million dollars.”
“Twelve… What?”
You turned towards the hallway, leaving behind the agent. You started walking, picking up the pace. A lot of men came towards you, causally talking and laughing with each other. Someone behind you let out a loud laugh, which made you jump.
“Liz!” hearing your name made you turn around, looking for its source.
“Javier!” you finally saw him and all the anxiety left your body in a second. You ran to him and literally crashed against his chest. He hugged you back, and you let out a huge sigh. You leaned back, looking into his eyes. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I called you at home. You didn’t pick up.”
“I came in right after you called this morning. I couldn’t stay home.”
“Why am I not surprised,” he said, unconsciously caressing your cheek. Then, something in his eyes changed. “I need to talk to you. In here.” He opened the door to a sideroom, and you stepped in. He checked the hallway for anyone listening, then closed the door behind him.
“I know we’ve already talked about this… But you need to leave.”
He sounded so serious that it actually scared you.
“What are you talking about… Is this — Is this about the drug bust?”
“Seeing how fast news travel around here is one of the reasons why you need to leave.”
“Just tell me what happened,” you said, hoping that it’ll make him forget this whole ‘you need to leave’ nonsense.
Javier chewed on his tongue, then nodded.
“I told you before that the licence plate of the car was fake. Turns out, it was made by a fake company, which had three different headquarters stated under its name. Each had an address. We went out to check them, but they all lead to empty basements and houses in comunas. We didn’t find shit. We decided to head back, when one of the tracking teams spotted the blue car not far from us. It was standing in front of a garage, so we went in and found a whole fucking kitchen with tons of cocaine bricks waiting for shipment. We made a twelve million dollar bust.
“So… what does it mean?” you asked, your voice shaky. Javier clenched his jaw.
“It means we caused them one of the biggest losses they’ve ever had.”
I did, you thought, without taking any pride in it. Your insides were filled with fear.
“What does it mean… for me?”
Javier stepped closer, examining your face. He seemed utterly concerned.
“Please, Liz… I know you don’t want to —”
“You’re right, I don’t!” you said with a sharp tone. Then, you started panting. You looked at the man in front of you with pleading eyes. “Please… I just need you to tell me that I’m gonna be okay. No one really knows that the picture is from me, if you could just —”
“There’s no guarantee that —”
“Please, Javier. Please.”
You sounded so desperate, that Javier fell silent. His whole face softened. He reached out and gently took you into his arm, resting his chin on the top of your head.
“Why are you so stubborn?” he mumbled. “If something happens… I cannot let you get hurt.”
“I —”
“Why are you doing this?”
You didn’t answer. You didn’t know. All you knew was that you didn’t want to leave. You didn’t want to leave your job, your house, your friends… you didn’t want to leave him.
“I don’t want to start all over again,” you whispered, grabbing onto his arm. His skin under your palm made you feel incredibly hot. When he spoke with his chin resting on your head, his voice resonated through your whole body.
“I promised to keep you safe. But the time will come — no, please, let me finish — the time will come, when I cannot help you anymore. When I am not enough, and you have to make a decision.”
“I don’t want to make that decision,” you said, feeling totally lost. You closed your eyes.
“Just think about it,” Javier said and reached for your face. He gently cupped your cheeks and made you look at him. “Please, Liz. Promise me that you think about it.”
You locked eyes with him, determined to say no, but you couldn’t. You saw how scared he was, maybe for the first time since you had known him. It was almost as if the mask, under which he was always covering his true emotions lifted up a little, and you could peak under it, even if only for a moment. He was worried, he was anxious, but you knew that he was angry as well… Angry at you, for being so foolish so unnecessarily, and putting your life at risk for nothing. And with a heavy heart, still looking into the eyes that looked like chocolate, you nodded.
“Okay… I’ll think about it. I promise.”
——
You felt like you were going to throw up. As the car moved across town, with every bump, with every turn you felt more and more sick. On the streets news haven’t spread yet. You could see it. There was no chaos, no news playing in the bars. It felt ridiculous.
Not in the police car. On the radio two men were talking, and you had been practicing your Spanish enough to understand what they were talking about. Your driver grabbed onto the mic and said something. One of the man on the police radio answered. You gulped nervously and closed your eyes.
Carillo had only died twenty minutes earlier you had to do your job. Evidence photographer. Fucking hell. You did not sign up for this. You did not want this. But circumstances made you the only available photographer in the moment, so you had no other choice.
As you got closer and closer to the scene, the quiet night life started to change. You saw ambulances and policecars parking on the street. To get through them, you had to show them your DEA badge. You fingers were trembling as you held up the small piece of plastic.
Your driver stopped the car and you thanked them, stretching the seconds for as long as you could. But the job had to be done. Feeling nauseous, you opened the door, and immediately stepped into something thick and sticky. You looked around on the dim-lit street and grimaced. The air was pungent. Dust, sewage, gun powder… and blood.
“Evidence photographer?” a guy appeared next to you and you nodded. “This way!”
He showed you the way, leading you through betweent two cars. You passed several policemen, but then you stopped.
“Oh, my God,” you whispered, seeing the red mess all over the concrete. Not far from where you were standing, you saw a pair of feet, two. “Oh, my God.”
It took all your effort not to throw up right there and then. You moved a bit to the left and took some pictures of a body. You didn’t want to see who it was. You stepped closer, while people were running around you, shouting things that you didn’t understand. You were on the verge of fainting.
You took another picture of someone, then looked away, desperate to see something other than blood and used bullets. As you turned, you saw two man in the distance, leaning against their car. You recognized them at once, and realization hit you like a brick.
You looked back, but no one was paying attention to you. Careful, not to look at any of the bodies, you crossed the road and hurried towards the two man.
“Javier!”
He raised his head. It took him a few seconds to recognize you, but during that time you already knew that he was not all right. His face was expressionless, his eyes cold. You slowed down and approached him carefully.
“Javier?”
Murphy only had to take one look at you and patted Javier on the back. You saw that he was not all right, either. He got up, nodded, and left without saying a word. You stepped closer to Javier. He was not looking at you. He pressed his lips together, as if deciding never to speak again.
“Javier…” your heart was breaking. You knew that he and Carillo had been really close. “Javier, I’m so sorry.”
He forced himself to look at you, but you had never seen him so distant. The usual warmth in his eyes - one of the things that made you fall for him - was gone.
“It was my intel.”
His voice was low and husky. You took a sharp breath.
“This isn’t your fault,” you said at once, knowing where this was going. “This —”
“Stop.”
He had never talked to you this way. It was like standing in front of a completely different person. He turned his head away, staring into the distance. You knew that he wanted to be alone. But you didn’t think that it was going to do any good for him.
“How about I see you later?” you gently grabbed his arm. He looked like he didn’t even hear you. “Javi?”
“Hm… Sure.”
You knew you he was somewhere else. You nodded and hesitantly took a few steps back. You wanted to help him, because seeing him like this just broke you. You wanted to make it easier for him. You wanted to be there for him. But the job had to be done. ——
It was way past eleven in the evening when you finally left the office and got into your car. You were tired, you were exhausted and drained. You wanted to take a shower, you wanted to wash away all the things that you had just seen. You wanted to sleep. But you knew that you wouldn’t be able to. You knew that you were not the only one feeling like this tonight. You thought about Carillo’s wife and kids. You shivered.
Even though it was a pleasant evening, you were incredibly cold. You reached for the backseat and grabbed something leather-like. It was Javier’s coat.
Javier.
You looked at the silent and empty road ahead of you and the thought started to form in your mind. You really wanted to see him. You didn’t want to be a bother, though. But you had promised him to see him later. Maybe he was expecting you? You could only hope so. You grabbed the jacket, and only when you felt his essence on it did you decide to go to him.
Because you needed him, too.
You thanked the whole DEA for you bulletproof car. Crossing through town in the middle of the night made you anxious and paranoid. You felt eyes everywhere, you felt like someone was watching your every move. You squeezed the wheel tensely every time you had to stop at a red light.
You stopped the car in front of Javier’s house twenty minutes later. As you turned off the engine you looked at his windows. The light were on, but it wasn’t really bright. You could imagine him sitting in a half-lit room, drinking, alone. You swallowed nervously. You hoped that coming here was really a good idea.
You got out and opened the door. You passed the stairway to Murphy’s flat, and continued your way to Javier’s door. You stopped for a second, raising your hand but not knocking just yet. Was this really a good idea?
Before you could have decided, the door opened and you found yourself face to face to one of the prettiest women you had ever seen. You stepped back in surprise, lowering your hand. She looked at you with a start, but then waved kindly.
“Oh!Buenas noches.”
The hooker sent a friendly smile at you, then called back and said something in Spanish. Then, making her way around you, left for the exit. Her heels made a clanking sound every time she took a step. You followed her with your eyes until the door closed behind her and she disappeared on the street.
“Liz…?”
You turned back, and what you saw shattered your heart into million pieces. Javier was standing in the door, shirtless, a cigarette hanging from his mouth. You connected the woman with what was in front of you, and you had never felt more ashamed in your entire life.
“Well…” you said with a weak smile, tearing up. “I guess I’ll see you around.”
You turned away, but Javier called after you.
“Liz!” he sounded desperate. “Liz, come back, let me explain…”
“No,” you said, looking at him again. He looked like he was in misery. But this time, you didn’t care. “You know what, thank you for this. Now… at least I know.”
You felt so incredibly stupid. Javier reached out to you, but you pulled away.
“Liz, please!” he pleaded. You saw that he was hurt. Well, tough shit. You were hurt, too. You realized that you were still holding his jacket.
“Here. Take it.” You threw it at him and he caught it. “You look like you need it.”
“Liz…”
“I don’t care.”
“Lizzy…”
“I don’t care, Javier,” you said, your voice trembling as you said his name. “We’re not together. Actually, thank you, for this. Now I can go back to my life, and you can continue whatever the fuck you’ve been doing.”
He looked dumbfounded. Then he took a careful step towards you. His eyes were burning.
“Liz, come in. Let’s talk, let me…”
But you shook your head. You really had to force yourself not to cry just yet.
“Please. From now on… leave me alone.
You left him with that, and found with great pleasure that this time, he didn’t follow you.
The following weeks had been hard. Every day after leaving work, you saw mothers, wives and kids leaving the police station, and you knew that they visited so that they could recollect the belongings of their deads. Seeing them made you choke, and you couldn’t help it but turned away.
You had no idea what you were supposed to do. Violence scared you to death, but at the same time you had never felt more alive, more at home than being here. And, due to the steps taken in security measures, you were well taken care of. You met with agents every week, who listed your calls and reported anything out of ordinary - luckily there was nothing suspicious going around - and whenever your schedules let you, Javier and you spent a lot of time together.
But Javier was not always there.
He went and came, going on missions, searching for evidence, executing orders. You had been so worried since the attack on the police, that you made him call you every time he finished for the day. You knew it annoyed the shit out of him, but it made you calm. Or, let’s just say, it made you less worried, until the next mission came.
Today was no different. It was way into the evening, and you were sitting by the phone, not doing anything in particular. You were just waiting. In front of you there was a Spanish - English dictionary open at the word ‘camarero’ and you were imagining scenerios where you could use that word. Well, your Spanish teacher had told you to do it.
The phone’s voilent ringing cut through the silence and made you jump; all this time living here, and the phone still scared the living shit out of you. You cleared your throat and picked up, knocking over a water bottle with your anxious move.
“Yes?”
There was some shuffle at the other end, then a low voice started to speak.
“Hey… It’s… It’s me.”
“Hey!” you leaned closer as if it made you more understandable. “Are you okay? Is everyone fine?”
“Yeah.”
He sounded really somber. It made you worry.
“Javier, are you okay?”
“Can you… Can we meet for a drink?”
“Now?” you asked. It was starting to get late.
“…Please.”
He was so unusually quiet that you were scared now.
“Sure,” you said. “The bar in an hour?”
“Okay,” he said and hung up.
——
Javier was having his second drink and he already regretted calling you. He was holding onto his glass, trying to come up with excuses on how to call off the meeting with you, but the ideas just didn’t come. It was a weak moment of his when he had called you; he had changed his mind by now. He knew that you would come and ask him all these questions. He didn’t want to talk. He wanted to drink. But who was he kidding? He also wanted to see you. You just… made it all better.
“Another one,” he signaled to the bartender and he refilled his glass. “Thanks.”
“I hope that’s for me,” you said suddenly, appearing out of nowhere. You took his glass and took a sip from his whiskey. You squinted. “Agh, that’s horrible. Er — Una cerveza, por favor.”
Javier looked at you with raised eyebrows.
“Wow, what was that?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said innocently and drank from your beer. Javier nodded at your glass.
“Learing Spanish, I see.”
“Yeah.”
“I thought you don’t speak Spanish,” he said a bit teasingly. He got an eyeroll from you in return.
“Well, maybe that’s why I want to learn it.”
“Yeah?” he looked at you, thinking. “No other reason?”
“What is that supposed to mean?” you said with a weird expression. Almost as if you were caught doing something you shouldn’t be doing. Javier shrugged.
“Nothing.”
“Good. So what did you want to talk about?”
The alcohol in his mouth turned into acid as he forced it down. He wished you hadn’t brought it up. He wished you just wanted to talk to him about something else. Anything else.
He turned to you slowly and felt a flowery smell. It was you shampoo. He reached out slowly, gently taking a piece of your hair and tucking it behind your ear. Then, the alcohol made him cup you cheek. You seemed frozen in his hand. He wanted to kiss you so bad, it hurt.
“Can we talk about something else?” he whispered, begging you. You opened your mouth slightly, whispering back.
“Tell me what’s wrong.”
He closed his eyes, his hand still on the side of your face. You knew you felt something, too; he had seen it many times when he looked into your eyes. In fact, he had seen it in many women’s eyes before. But this was different. You were different. He didn’t just want to hook up with you. He had no idea what he wanted, but it was something worth thinking about.
He opened his eyes and pulled away his hand. As soon as light came to him once again, sharing those very intimate thoughts with you seemed impossible and stupid. He was not the sharing type. He was —
“Please,” you interrupted his inner monologue. Your eyes were shining from all the life you had in you. “You called me here. I know there was a reason.”
“I don’t know…”
“Javier —”
“I don’t want to talk about it anymore!” he said a bit more tensely. Hearing his name from your mouth didn’t help him at all. “Stop it. It’s over.”
“I know you were out this evening,” you continued, not giving up. “Something happened?”
“I really don’t —”
“You said —”
“Liz —”
“Jav —”
“I saw a kid die today!” he said miserably. “And Carillo was the one who killed him. He killed a kid to make a fucking point. Are you happy now?”
He was panting and didn’t look at you. Instead, he was staring at his hands. They were shaking. There was silence at the table for a very long time, and he was sure that he hurt you with his outburst. He already regretted telling what had happened.
A warm feeling made him blink, and he saw your hand in his, gently, carefully holding on to it. The warmth started from his palm and went all the way up his arm, shoulder, chest. He was breathing a bit easier.
“I cannot imagine,” you started, speaking very softly. “But I know that what you’re all doing is more important than anything. Because if you don’t make an end to this, people will keep on dying. And I see how hard it is on you… But I just… I hope it’ll end soon and the people will be free from under his reign. And since it is up to you, I know that it’ll end soon.”
He didn’t know how to respond to that. He cleared his throat, squeezed your hand and drank. He had to shake his head to himself.
“Cariño.”
“Yeah, I looked that word up, actually,” you said, playfully scolding. “You’re still not getting away with this.”
Javier chuckled to himself darkly and looked at his empty glass. He needed a refill again. He saw that you were eyeing his glass, too.
“Let’s dance,” you said suddenly, nodding towards the low tunes coming from the radio. Javier frowned.
“I’m not the dancing type.”
“Then let’s go for a walk,” you said quickly. “It’ll clear your head.”
“I don’t do walks,” Javier said, shaking his head. He really needed a cigarette.
“It’s not about the walks,” you insisted. Javier looked at you impatiently.
“Now what’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means that you reject the bare idea of someone helping you,” he saw that you started to get tense as well. He grimaced.
“How is a walk supposed to help me?”
“It’s not about the walk.”
“Then what?”
“Jesus Christ,” you said and took another sip from your beer. “Let’s just drink in silence, shall we?”
“Finally, an idea that gets my appreciation.
Javier knew you were being sarcastic. It looked good on you. He was searching for a packet of cigarettes in his pocket, when someone appeared next to your table.
“Liz? Hey!
He looked up. The voice belonged to a young, tall guy who was dressed in police uniform.
“Danilo?” you said with a smile. Javier felt your hand leaving his. “What are you doing here?”
“Just having a beer with the guys,” he signalled towards a table in the far back with five or six other policemen. Then, he looked at Javier with a way too nice expression. “Hey man. Peña, right? We’ve met before, haven’t we?”
“Barely,” grunted Javier. He accepted the offered hand, but shook it quickly, then retreated, lighting his cigarette.
“Anyway,” the guy was ignoring him again, now looking at you. “Monday is still on?”
“Sure —!” you started excitedly.
“Hmm, what’s on Monday?” Javier mumbled sarcastically, but luckily neither of you had heard him. Good. You would probably be furious at him.
“— I just hope it’ll worth it. There are a lot of new techniques out there, I’m not sure my…”
“Come on, Liz, your pictures are amazing. I’m sure they’ll see it, too.”
Of course, Javier remembered. You had told him about the art gallery thing where they would choose pictures of all talented photographers.
“Thanks,” you said, shooting a kind smile towards the guy. He looked at you with a gaze that made Javier bite down on his cigarette.
“Well, I’m gonna go then,” the guy nodded towards Javier. “See you later, Liz.”
You stood up and hugged him. Javier’s insides were boiling with jealousy.
“Bye, Danilo,” you said, sitting back . “See you on Monday.”
Fucking finally, the guy left and Javier exhaled the smoke angrily. You looked at him, raising an eyebrow.
“Can you stop smoking? You know I’m tryna quit.”
“Your pictures are good,” he said shortly.
“What?”
“I would’ve told you. If you had asked me. I think your pictures are good.”
“You haven’t even seen my pictures.”
“I have. When I went up to your flat a few months ago. They were on the table. You’ve got talent. Anyone who doesn’t see it is a fucking idiot.”
That seemed to shock you. Javier started thinking wether he had said something wrong. He was still bitter because of that guy of yours.
“Well… Thanks,” you said finally, with a surprised little smile.
“You know what,” Javier said suddenly and stood up from the table. “Let’s go for that walk.”
“What?” you said. “I still have half a glass of my — Javier!”
Javier took your glass and chugged the rest of your beer. Then he threw a bunch of pesos onto the table and held out his arm.
“Let’s go.”
——
You could feel from his walking that he was not drunk - oh no, it took a lot more to make Javier Peña drunk - but he wasn’t completely sober, either. He left the bar with you holding onto him, and when you made it out to the street, he looked around.
“Which way?”
“Well,” you said, pointing left. “I live that way. You can walk me home.”
“Home?” he said as you started walking. “The night is just starting.”
“Yeah, I was actually almost ready to sleep when you dragged me out of the house,” you said and he chuckled.
“Hm… Thanks for coming.”
He sounded so genuine that it made you stop and stare at him. In the dark you were barely able to make out his face, but you could still see him frowning.
“What?” he asked carefully.
You shook your head slowly. You had no idea what to answer. You were still holding onto his arm, and his face was really close to yours. He smelled so great. He was so tall. You shivered.
“Are you cold?” he murmured and moved away from you. He took off his leather jacket and placed it over your shoulders. His hands stayed on your neck and he looked into your eyes. You forgot how to breath.
“Thank you,” you whispered. Unconsciously, you stepped an inch closer to him. His hands were still gently holding the coat. You could feel the whiskey in the air between the two of you.
Suddenly a bunch of young teens burst out laughing on the other side of the street. It was like waking up from a dream. You realized that the street that felt silent was actually full of life. There were people all around you, chatting, laughing. You stepped back with an anxious feeling in your stomach, and Javier’s hands fell down to his side.
“I should walk you home,” he said, not looking into your eyes this time. You cleared your throat.
“I can… It’s all right, I can just call a taxi.”
“Yeah, let’s do that. But it’ll take me home, too.”
You nodded, and started walking with him again. You were embarrassingly careful not to touch his hand, even by accident, while walking. You only had to go for five minutes; you ended up in a busiest part of the city, and it was easy to find a free taxi there. You two did not talk during the entire way home.
You were staring out the window, determined not to look at Javier. You had no idea what was going on. No idea how you felt, either. You liked him a lot… to be honest, you liked him more than you were supposed to. And you loved being with him. He was smart, cunning and determined. But he was also intense, passionate and strong-willed. Half of the time you had no idea what he was thinking about. Half of the time you weren’t even sure if he’d like you the way you liked him.
The taxi pulled up in front of your house and you had to look at Javier to say goodbye. He had been staring out the window as well, but now he turned to you with such an intense look that you almost leaned over to kiss him. But the driver started coughing, the moment passed, and you found yourself opening the door of the car.
“Thank you for the coat. I’ll…”
“You’ll give it back later,” he said with a kind nod. You shot a restrained, shy smile at him before closing the door.
“Well… Good night.”
The car started moving, and a few seconds later it turned left at the intersection. He was gone. You searched for your keys and went up to your apartment, unable to figure out how were you feeling. Why didn’t you do something? At least you could’ve figured out if he felt the same as you. But what if he wasn’t? Now you were glad that you didn’t make a move. It would all just be so awkward and embarrassing tomorrow. It was better this way. Yes. This was better.
But then why were you feeling so miserable?
You double-locked the door, closed the curtains, and realized that you were really hungry. You went to the kitchen and opened the fridge to make a sandwich. You ate slowly, barely tasting anything, getting lost deep in your thoughts. All you wanted to do was to sleep.
In the morning, the phone woke you up. You stumbled out of bed and answered it, massaging your eyes.
“Yea —ah?” you yawned.
“It’s me,” said Javier. He sounded tense. As he spoke, in the background you heard voices and running. “Liz, this just came in. They found the car on the picture, it’s connected to a drug lab…”
“What?” you said, suddenly wide awake. “How —”
“I don’t have time, we’re heading out. I’ll call you after.”
“Wh — Javier?!”
You called after him, but it was too late and he hung up. He was gone.
Summary: You’ve known Javier for a while now, but when lives are in danger, you realize that you might feel more for him than you have initially thought.
It had been a while since you became part of the DEA, and life was going flawlessly. With employement came certain rights; you were eligible to receive security measures on a higher level. The first week you had your windows changed to bulletproof ones, and you had your door fixed up with two other locks. You had gotten another phone that had a secure line to the DEA office, and you were able to have weekly visits from agents who made sure that everything was okay with you. But the biggest of them all was the new car - a seemingly ordinary vehicle, but with bulletproof windows and doors.
“Are you saisfied with what you got?” Javier had asked, when he came over to check the house for himself as well. You nodded with a small smile on your lips.
“Yeah, it’s… Thank you, Javier.”
He looked at you kindly and saw the seriousness in your eyes. He stepped closer and squeezed your shoulder in a friendly way. He smiled. He rarely smiled, but he had a really nice smile.
Unfortunately, even though you handed over the photograph to the DEA and received all these things in return, they had no luck catching either of those guys on the picture.
“The licence plate is fake,” said Javier a week after you had gotten employed. “They’ll try and look up any connection to it, but so far no luck. The picture might help the ID guys, though.”
He had been moody on that evening. They had suspended him and Murphy for following their own rules instead of the given orders, but you could understand. For Javier what mattered is doing good. Catching Escobar. The DEA was just the tool for that, the necessary step he had to take every time when driving for action. But sometimes it slowed him down.
Of course, he and Murphy got back, but peace was not an option. Escobar escaped his prison and the whole country went crazy. There were several, who kept on fighting against him, wholeheartedly and tirelessly, but there were still millions out there, who supported what he was doing. But with Carillo being called back from Spain, you knew that there was some hope.
Nevertheless, the whole situation had shown its effect on you. Working close to DEA agents had its ups and downs; you were glad for their help and continuous attention towards your safety. However, you also got a glimpse into what they had to deal with, and it frightened you. It was your job to develop their pictures sometimes, and you met several drug traffickers, hitmans, associates and dead bodies on negatives. You couldn’t help but anxiously wonder about the others’ safety.
“Don’t think about it way too much,” Javier said to you once you admitted why you had been acting so nervously. He was sitting on your desk while you were having lunch. “It’ll drive you crazy. Belive me, there are more things than you know of.”
“Well, that makes me calm and relaxed,” you said, pushing away your unfinished plate. Your stomach was in a knot.
“Hey,” Javier got a chair and sat down to be on the same level with you. “I’m serious.”
“I’m serious too. When I say I don’t want anyone to get hurt.”
He hesitated, but held out his hand towards you. You took it, casting down your eyes. The truth was, that yes, you were worried about everyone, naturally… But you were really worried for him. You had known him for four months now. You continously had been having lunches together, and sometimes you went out for a drink or two after work. You knew he was strong-willed and clever, determined and cunning… But you couldn’t help it. There was something that made you care for him more than anyone else.
“You worry too much, Liz,” he said gently, and it made you look up. He was really close, his eyes deeply looking into yours. You felt your heartbeat picking up the pace. You couldn’t blink with his gaze on you, and your eyes started to sting.
“I’m just saying,” you said after forcing yourself to look away and massaged your eyes. “I want you to be safe.”
“There’s no guarantee that’ll ever happen,” he said understandingly and shrugged. “We do our best. But if you have to choose between chasing a guy who’s getting away or running back to the car to get proper gear, there’s no agent who’d choose the latter. What matters at the end is if you got the guy or not. Wearing a vest is not gonna change that.”
Something clicked in you and you looked at him again. You were only hoping that you had heard him wrong.
“What?” you said with a sharp tone.
“What?” he asked, unsure of what you were referring to.
“Are you telling me….” you took a deep breath, trying to remain calm. “Are you telling me that you don’t always wear a vest?”
“Well, most of the times we do. But I’m saying if there’s an unexpected situation, no one will waste time —”
“Waste time?!” you exclaimed, surprising even yourself. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
Javier looked taken aback. He shook his head as if trying to make sense of your sudden outburst.
“What’s wrong with you?”
“What’s wrong with you?” you stood up letting go of his hand. Something came over you, and you were not bothering anymore to keep your voice low. “Why are you telling me this only now?”
He stood up too, though not as fiercly as you did.
“What do you want me to say, Liz?” His calmness infuriated you. “This is the job.”
“This is messed up —”
“We knew what we were signing up for,” he said and gently touched your shoulders. He caressed your arms, then suddenly cupped your cheeks which made you numb. He looked deeply into your eyes. “Don’t worry about it.”
“How can you tell me that?” you whispered, feeling his hands on you.
“Why do you care so much?” he asked with a half smile and you were frightened for a second. His eyes were longing for an answer, but you were not ready for that. Why did you care so much? You didn’t even want to admit that to yourself.
“You’re my friend,” you said as convincingly as you could. Technically, it was true. “And I don’t want to lose you.”
Something changed on his face. His gaze was burning yours. He smiled, but that smile was hiding something else that you couldn’t figure out.
“I’m your friend? That’s very kind of you, Liz.”
Before you could answer, there was a sudden echo of footsteps and Trujillo appeared at the door, panting.
“Peña! There was an ambush, all over the city. There are hundreds coming in. Half of them dead already!”
“What is he saying?” you looked at Javier, who looked absolutely shocked. “Javier?”
“Fuck!” he said and turned after Trujillo, who was already leaving. Then looked at you before following him. “Stay here.”
“Yeah, no way,” you said, running after him. Everyone in the office was going into one direction - outside. Javier was faster and got before the others, but as you stepped outside the crowd loosened up. And then you could see it.
There were people everywhere, and the level of chaos was rising. You looked to your right and there were two dead policemen on the ground. Next to them was an agent squatting down while talking in Spanish to a guy who was whining in pain. Someone rolled a stretcher over and they lifted the man together. In front of you, there was someone who was bleeding heavily from the stomach. Not far from him another dead body. On the left one man had his arm around another one, carrying him inside. You saw Murphy kneeling next to a young police officer, trying to put pressure on his wound. And there were fifty more, all shouting and screaming in pain and fear.
You stumbled down the stairs, unsure of what to do. You had no medical training and you were scared that you’d just make things worse. You saw Javier for a second as he was helping someone and your stomach clenched. You ran towards the closest man on the ground and helped him to sit up. You were extremely scared that he’d die in your hands.
Seven hours later you were at home, scrubbing the dried blood from your hands. The smell was making you sick. Eventually ambulances and paramedics had arrived and took over from the agents. Still, there were 30 deaths today.
You turned off the tap and dried your hands. Your fingernails were red. You chuckled, trying not to cry, then went to the living room and closed the curtains. Then, you double checked the front door. It was awfully quiet.
The phone rang and you jumped in fear. You ran to answer it.
“Yes?”
“Hey, it’s me,” came a familiar voice. Danilo sounded uneasy. “I’ve seen what happened today. Have you heard?”
“Yeah, I was… I was there,” you said, staring at the walls.
“I told you I wasn’t sure about you having this job,” he started. “Working in the middle of it, Liz…”
“Have you lost anyone?” you asked.
“No, thank God. They say it was an ambush but we weren’t there.”
“Good,” you nodded.
“Are you okay?” he sounded concerned. “Do you want me to come over?”
“No,” you said quickly. “I just wanna sleep. Thanks for calling.”
“Okay. Good night.”
“Bye.”
You put down the phone and wrapped a soft blanket around yourself. All of a sudden it felt really cold.
The phone rang again and you were sure that Danilo called you back. With a little impatience, you picked up.
“Yeah?”
“How are you?” Javier’s voice was different. Your mood changed straight away. You didn’t know how to answer him.
“How are you?” you asked him instead. Finding the words was hard for him as well.
“Well… you know.”
You nodded.
“Yeah.”
“Listen…” he started. He sounded extremely tired. “About today… thanks for… you know. Giving a shit.”
“About what?”
“…Me.”
You took a deep breath to calm down, but your voice broke.
“You said that there’s a standing bounty on any DEA down here…”
He didn’t answer. You knew he was waiting. You looked at your bloody fingernails and wiped your tears away while speaking.
“Please, Javier… just be careful.”
It was the longest silence you had ever heard from him. You knew he was still there because you heard him breathing… and you waited. After a minute, he cleared his throat and with the most caring, genuine voice he said:
“And just a signiture there,” said the woman, pointing at the bottom of the page. You signed it. “And we’re done. Welcome to the DEA.”
You sighed and put down the pen. The last two weeks had been the most unusual period of your life. Peña had to arrange millions of things, had to talk to the right people and basically create a new title of work, that you could use on your papers. According to this, you were ‘Elizabeth Landon - DEA Associate, Evidence Photographer Assistant.’ Yes, it was a mouthful. The last of the paperworks lied in front of you on the table, from where a woman with grey hair collected them. She sent another smile towards you, then left.
“So?” a familiar voice came from behind you. “Everything all right?”
“Hey,” the tense feeling in your stomach loosened a bit. It was good to see someone you had actually met before.
Peña walked in and grabbed your brand new ID badge from the table.
“How does it feel?” he asked.
“I… have no idea. Really.” You looked at the badge. “I still have a part-time job at the magazine. I won’t be doing much around here. As far as I’m concerned, it’s just a piece of plastic.”
“A very valuable piece of plastic,” he sat on the table and looked up at you from there. “We filed the photograph. Thank you.”
You nodded and casted down your eyes. You knew you made the right decision. It was still frightening. Peña probably felt your mood change, because he stood up.
“Want me to show you around?”
You nodded thankfully.
“Sure!”
“Come on,” he indicated towards the door with his head, then followed you outside. “This way.”
You went through a wide hallway and ended up in a big room with a bunch of tables and agents talking or running around. Phone were ringing, printers were buzzing, and someone laughed loudly in the moment that you stepped in.
“All cramped up here,” Peña nodded and walked further in. “That’s Gonzáles, that’s Muñoz and Valencia. That’s my table and this - this handsome gentleman is Murphy. My second. Definitely under me in rank.”
“Fuck off, Peña,” said Murphy. He was buried in some paperwork. You chuckled and he looked up. “Oh, hey. Evidence Photographer, am I right?”
“Something like that,” you said. “Elizabeth Landon. Liz.”
You shook hands.
“I was just showing her around,” Peña said, looking over Murphy’s shoulder and checking out what he was doing. “We already have the riport of this.”
“Yeah, I’m just looking for something.”
“What?”
“Something we might haven’t noticed before.”
Peña looked over the papers himself. His face was in deep concentration and you started to understand, why was he chosen for the job he was doing. He nodded to himself, then patted Murphy on the back.
“Save a few pages for me as well. Come on, Landon. Over there.”
You were glad that you could continue the tour, because you didn’t want to be a burden while they were looking over staff.
“So, you’re starting tomorrow?”
“Yeah,” you said, following him on the corridor.
“Good. This is the darkroom, on the left. Unfortunately you’ll actually have to work sometimes,” he smirked to himself. Then the two of you turned right. “And this is your office. Well, not only yours, I guess.”
You stepped into the small room which was three size smaller than the one Peña, Murphy and all those other agents had. This one had only one window, and had three tables in it, of which two was already occupied. There was no one sitting at the tables at the moment, but they were packed with all kinds of papers and folders.
“Well, that’s it, basically,” Peña said, looking around, not exactly impressed. “I’m afraid I cannot show you the rest.”
“Out of my jurisdiction as Evidence Photographer Assistant?” you nodded with a grimace. “No, I get it. I mean, this is nice. If we just… throw away all this garbage, get new chair and tables, and hit an other whole in the wall as window, then I think that would really cheer up the place.”
Peña let out a small and short laugh. Then he looked at his watch.
“I’ll be heading out soon.”
“Oh…,” you said awkwardly. “Sure. Fine. Thank you for this.”
“Don’t mention it,” he said. “You know what, let’s mention it. You’ll owe me one, how ‘bout that?”
You smiled.
“I might be owing you much more than just one.”
“Yeah… we’ll see.”
The two of you stared at each other, not sure how to end the conversation. Finally Peña cleared his throat and turned halfway away awkwardly.
“Well… See you around.”
“Yeah. See you around.”
He waved and then left. You went to check out the only table in the office that didn’t have personal belongings on it, only garbage. You picked up some files and sneezing from the dust put them into one huge pile. This way you could at least put down your bag.
“Landon!”
You jumped and turned towards the door. Peña was back, hastily leaning against the doorframe.
“You wanna grab a drink later?”
“S…sure” you said, being a bit surprised, but didn’t mind the offer.
“Good.”
“What…What time?” you asked as he was already turning away. He turned back awkwardly.
“What?”
“What time?”
“Oh… Seven?”
“Okay.”
“All right. Meet you outside?”
“Sure.”
——
“No seriously, I swear that I cannot even look at a watermelon anymore,” he said and finished his drink with a restrained smile on his lips. “Not after that summer, anyway.”
You snorted.
“I don’t know if I should laugh or cry at that.”
“How about both?” he asked and raised his glass, signing for another round. “You’re good?”
“I could do with another one,” you nodded towards the bartender and he appeared with new drinks for the two of you.
The bar Peña took you to was a quiet one, with lots of small tables and an open area above which if you looked up, you could see the sky with its shiny stars. There were a few people around, but it wasn’t crowded. There was chatter in Spanish everywhere around you, and you were genuinely having a good time.
Peña was now looking up at the small television in the corner. In the news, they were showing a building in the distance, a building that you knew was the prison that was keeping Escobar locked away. You glanced at Peña; he finished his drink with a sudden move and ordered another one.
“Do you think you’ll get ‘im?” you asked him quietly. He looked at you, then back to the TV, then at his refilled drink. It took him a long time to answer.
“That motherfucker deserves to rot in prison for the rest of his life.”
“I…I’ve heard that the people still love him.”
He scoffed.
“They love him because he makes them love him. If he gives money to the poor, wouldn’t you stand next to him?”
“It doesn’t matter what he’s done? All those deaths… bombings… that plane and that reporter… why don’t people care about that?”
“They do. But when he appears with bags full of money, people tend to forget.”
He drank and you watched. You felt a horrible taste in your mouth.
“It’s a shame, because anyone could see that people love this country.”
“Yeah… Real shame he preaches about it while he’s the one destroying it.” He hesitated for a moment while he searched for money in his wallet. “There was this kid… Me and Murphy were trying to get one of Escobar’s hitmans. And I almost got him. I was this close. And then this… ten year old runs out of nowhere and holds a gun at my head.”
“What?” you said, your full attention on him. Peña had a bittersweet smile on his face.
“Of course he ran away. The hitman, too. We didn’t get shit. Before we got there, they killed a girl. She had a baby. Murphy has her now, with his wife.”
You realized that your mouth was open. Peña seemed to get lost in his own thoughts.
“There’s a standing bounty of 350 000 US dollars on any DEA down here. Not you, of course,” he smirked at you, but there was nothing happy about it. “Evidence photographer.”
“Assistant,” you said, to at least cheer him up a bit. He chuckled darkly.
“Assistant. Yeah.” Then he was back in his dark thoughts. “There’s a reason we worth that much. We’d do anything to stop him. Carillo… he’s the best soldier I’ve ever met.”
“I’ve seen him on TV,” you said, remembering a tall figure. “It’s good to have someone you trust. After what Danilo said… you know, my cop friend… I guess it cannot be easy to work in the system when the system is dirty.”
He turned to you and looked deeply in your eyes. Even though he had like five drinks in him, his sight was clear and determined, like always.
“You talk like someone who has seen a lot of shit.”
You chuckled.
“Yeah, I wouldn’t say that. And I’m not planning on seeing any kind of shit. I want a normal life.”
“That sounds… That sounds nice.”
He turned away and looked down at his hands, holding the glass. There was something on his face that made you think, and all of a sudden you realized that you felt sorry for him. His life was hunting for Escobar. He chose this; but it came with so many things that tied him down, that a normal life probably seemed impossible for him. Even if he didn’t necessary want it, it is always nice to have an option.
“I’m sorry I called you an asshole,” you said to him. He looked up.
“You’re not to first and not the last, sweetheart. Don’t worry about it.”
“And I don’t like it when you call me a sweetheart.” You raised your eyebrows, but you were not being rude about it. He smiled to himself, and you realized that you might just seen him smile for the first time. It looked… incredibly good on him.
“All right then,” he nodded ceremoniously. “Cariño”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” you asked, pretending to be offended. He was taken aback.
“Don’t tell me you don’t speak Spanish. How did you survive down here is a mystery to me.”
“All right, fuck off,” you said and drank. He was still smiling.
“So why did you come here? Of all places where they speak English?”
“To be honest I just randomly chose a place in an advertisement calendar. It really didn’t matter where I’d go. Until it’s not home,” you added under your breath.
“Why?”
You looked up. He seemed genuinely interested. He wasn’t smiling anymore and you found yourself looking for words before you were able to answer.
“I just… I come from Seattle. I have a sister who’s a kindergarten teacher, I have a mom who’s a professor, I have a dad who’s a doctor… and I’m doing photography,” you tried to smile, but it felt more like a grimace. “I got tired of their nagging. My sister’s not so bad, but… jesus, my parents were just on about it forever. So I decided to leave. I saw a picture of Bogotá in a calendar. And… here I am,” you finished awkwardly.
“There’s nothing wrong with doing what you love.”
“Yeah, look where it got me,” you said darkly. Peña chuckled.
“It’s not so bad, Cariño”
“Oh, my God, are you going to try and teach me Spanish now?” you laughed and rolled your eyes.
“If you want me,” he shrugged and you drank.
“I’ve been trying, by the way,” you said, pointing a finger at him. You started to feel the alcohol. “And I want you to know this before you think I’m just some lousy idiot who expects everyone to speak English, just because she cannot learn another language. But I just haven’t got the time. Or the energy. Or the company to talk with.”
“What about your friend?” there was a certain way how he said the word friend. You shook your head.
“Danilo’s fine. A bit much sometimes. Asks me out weekly. I wish he would stop.”
“Why don’t you tell him to stop?”
“Well, that’s a good question, isn’t it?” you said melancholically and finished your drink.
“What are you doing here?” you looked at the man in surprise. You were just arriving home from another photoshoot.
“Finally,” Peña looked at you with the utmost impatience. He was standing at the door, his hand reaching for the doorbell. Now he took off his sunglasses, looking straight into the your eyes. “Where the hell were you?”
You raised an eyebrow.
“I have to work you know. For how long were you trying to get into my house?”
He cleared his throat awkwardly and squinted.
“Not long.”
“Uh-huh. So why are you here?”
“You didn’t give me your number.”
“Excuse me?”
“Your phone number,” Peña looked around the street as if checking the scene. “I had to come all the way to talk to you.”
“Oh,” you retreated. “Right.” Then you remembered. “Is this about your promise?”
He locked eyes with you and said:
“We really shouldn’t discuss this outside.”
He was way too serious and that made you uneasy. Did he manage to find a way to help you? You were chewing on your tongue, then nodded.
“All right. Come in.”
Once in your apartment, you dropped your bag onto the small table next to the TV and went to the kitchen to have a glass of water.
“Do you want anything?” you asked, rather to be polite than to please him. He was checking out your pictures on your table. He looked up.
“No. Let’s just get this over with.”
“Okay. So what is it?”
You walked over to him but you didn’t sit down and neither did he. All of it felt really formal. You took a sip from your water just to do something. Peña started to speak.
“The DEA doesn’t provide protection unless they get something in return. And it has to be valuable. A tip from someone is not enough.”
“What do you mean it’s not enough?” you asked suspiciously.
“We get tips from the street every day. It doesn’t worth shit. And they won’t let us go after the car, unless we can prove that it does worth the trouble.”
“That’s bullshit.”
“I’m sorry.”
He didn’t sound like he meant it.
“So… now what?” you asked, not sure what to do. “That’s it? You just won’t investigate?”
He stared at you, thinking. His face was unreadable, and you found yourself wishing that you could understand him.
“They won’t give us a team without evidence. We really need that picture.” There was a certain tone in his voice that made you feel on edge.
“What if I give it to you?” you asked carefully. “What would happen then? Would the DEA care enough to keep me safe?”
“If you give us the picture, we can buy you a plane ticket straight home.”
“Home?”
“The U.S.”
Your mouth opened. Then, you frowned.
“This is home. I moved here to start over. I’m not leaving.”
“You won’t be safe if you stay here. Not if that picture leaks.”
“This is confidential information, who says it will…”
“We cannot guarantee your safety if you stay here.”
“Good. Then I burn the fucking picture and this whole nonsense will end.”
This was the first time you actually saw something different on his face than annoyance or boredom. He was alarmed.
“Do not do that.”
“Why? If I don’t give it to you, you won’t do anything. If I give it to you I’ll be in danger. There is no benefit in it for me. I should’ve just burn it the moment I realized what it was.”
“I thought you wanted to help,” he said quietly.
“Yeah, me too. But not if it costs me my life.”
You went to the TV stand and reached under the table cover. You held the picture in front of him and were ready to tear it apart.
“Don’t!” he jumped at once, holding out his hand towards you. His whole attitude changed and you could see at once how important that picture was to him. “Don’t do anything you’ll regret.”
“Now I believe that I’ll regret if I don’t do it,” you said and started tearing the picture. Peña raised his voice. He was panicking.
“Don’t! Let’s just talk about this! Landon!”
Hearing your name cleared your head a little. You felt a shortage of air. You wanted to do the right thing. You wanted to help. But you did not ask for this.
“Put down the picture, and let’s talk about this,” Peña was still reaching out to you, not taking his eyes off your face.
“I don’t wanna get involved in this…” you shook your head desperately. “I…” The doorbell rang and both of you fell silent. You looked at Peña, unsure of what to do.
“Put that away!” he said and grabbed his gun. He leapt to the window and peaked out from behind the curtains. “Dark skin, black hair, green backpack. Do you know him?”
“Danilo!” you said and looked out as well. The man was waiting at the downstairs door, leaning against the fence. You looked at Peña.” He’s a friend of mine. I’d appreciate if you didn’t shoot him.”
He nodded and put the gun away, but was still eyeing Danilo. Then he turned to you and spoke quickly.
“I need to go, but I’ll call you later. Don’t do anything just yet.”
“Peña…”
“Please. Let me find an option that works for both of us.”
The desperation in his voice made you stop in mid sentence. You looked him in the eye. He had really nice eyes.
“Fine,” you said finally, giving in. You and your good heart…“Here’s my number.” You wrote down your phone number on a piece of paper and gave it to him. “Call me tonight. If you don’t call me, I’ll burn the fucking picture.”
“That would be a real shame sweetheart,” he said and put the paper in his pocket. Then he headed for the door. The doorbell rang again. “Don’t make your friend wait too long.”
——
“Who was that?” Danilo asked five minutes later after Peña left. You looked out the window into the direction where the man and his car disappeared.
“No one.”
“Really?”
You could hear jealousy in Danilo’s voice and you rolled your eyes. You really didn’t have the mental capacity for this.
“Yeah. Really. I just met him. He’s connected to the magazine.”
You weren’t sure wether he believed you or not; nevertheless, he didn’t ask more questions about him.
“Well, anyway. I told you I would ask around.”
“What?” you said dreamily. You were still staring outside the window.
“About the photograph.”
Realization came to you and you turned to face Danilo.
“You didn’t tell about it to everyone, right?”
“Only the people I trust.”
“Oh. Okay. And?”
“We all think it would be better for you to let it slide.”
“Let it slide?” you said, confused. “I don’t know about that. It seems kinda important to me.”
“Yeah, well. It can be dangerous as well. And I wouldn’t forgive myself if anything happened to you.”
You stared.
“Sometimes I feel like you’re a bit overprotective of me.”
“No shit.”
He sat down on your couch, leaned back and closed his eyes. You casted down your eyes and whispered.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do.”
“What do you want to do?”
“It’s… complicated.”
Itwas complicated. You wanted to help. The people in this country have been through so much pain. And you loved this country. If handing over the picture meant that you can help their cause in any way, you’d do it instantly. But you had also heard strories. You were afraid. Danilo sometimes talked about murders and shootings that happened all over the city. And if you had to choose between you and other people, you’d choose yourself.
It made you feel guilt and shame, though. You felt like a bad person. You didn’t want to be a bad person. But you were still afraid.
“You wanna go for a coffee?” Danilo offered. “Think about something else for a bit?”
“Sure,” you shrugged. “Why not.”
——
It was almost ten in the evening and Peña had still not called. You couldn’t go to sleep because of the nervousness, and you did not leave the vicinity of the phone even for a second. The afternoon with Danilo was at least good for one thing - getting your mind off of things. But as you got home, you had not been able to relax. And the phone call had still not arrived.
It was about ten thirty and you started to think about your options. If Peña was not willing to help you, then what were you supposed to do? Danilo had said not to share the picture. But Danilo had poor judgement when it came to you. You did not want to burn the picture, not for real. You wanted to help.
You wanted to help.
Fucking Peña.
You groaned and decided to rest your eyes for a second. The phone woke you up, at half past two.
“Yes?” you sounded drunk and ill.
“It’s Peña.”
“Oh…” you said smartly, then looked at the clock. “Do you realize what time is it?!”
“It took me a bit longer than expected,” he said. He didn’t sound tired at all. “But there might be a way that’s beneficial for everyone.”
“Yeah?” you said, starting to be more awake. “What is it?”
“Do you wanna work for the DEA?”
You remained silent for a second. Then spoke sharply.
“What?”
“Yeah. Evidence photographer.”
“Are you in serious need of an evidence photographer?”
“Not really.”
“Then?”
“You’d be handling the negatives. Nothing serious. It’s the title that counts.”
“Why?”
“As part of the DEA office, you’d have the right to claim and use protective services.”
“They… How many favours did you ask for this one?”
He didn’t answer.
“They won’t hire me.”
“They will,” he said.
“Is this a promise?”
He stayed silent. Then said, “yes.”
You nodded to yourself.
“Let… let me think about it. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Fine.”
“Give me your number.”
You wrote down his number and hang up. Your leg was shaking anxiously and you couldn’t stay still. You stood up and walked around the living room, thinking.
You loved your recent job. You didn’t want to give it up. But you wanted to help. You also wanted to stay alive.
“But I wanna help,” you murmured.
But I also wanna stay alive, said a voice in your head.
What about Peña’s offer? It seemed so ridiculous. It wasridiculous.
But what if that was the only way to help?
You sat back down on the couch and reached for the phone, dialing the number he gave you. The paper was already wrinkled and soggy from your continuous folding.
“Peña,” said a sleepy voice. You felt a little bit of pleasure knowing that you gave him a taste of his own medicine.
“How bad do you want that picture?” you asked. There was a shuffling sound at his end, then he answered in the clearest voice you had ever heard over a phone.
“I want it more than anything. I want to go after that motherfucker in any way possible.”
“Okay,” you said and you gladly welcomed the determination in your voice.
You looked up at the man and instantly squeezed your bag tighter. He sat down, put his cigarette in an ashtray and leaned back in his chair. He seemed utterly annoyed to be here.
“Who are you?” you asked, determined to keep steadiness in your voice.
“The name’s Agent Peña. I’m DEA. You asked for an agent, am I correct?”
You silently nodded. He held his cigarette to his mouth.
“Then go ahead and tell us why you’re here sweetheart. I’m kinda busy.”
You frowned. You didn’t like how he called you sweetheart.
“Can you put out your cigarette first?” annoyance made you find your voice again. “I’m trying to quit.”
He chuckled darkly.
“Aren’t we all?”
“I’m serious.”
He examined your face for a second then shrugged and did as you asked. The smoke from the ashtray rose to the air and was hanging between the two of you. You let yourself have one long look at him. He was dark haired, olive skinned and had deep brown eyes. His nose was big, but it made his face look sharp and determined. Above a mouth, that was impatienly chewing his tongue, he had a mustache. You decided to get down to business.
“I have something. I really don’t know what to do with it.”
You reached inside the bag and got the envelope out. Peña was looking at it without the slightest interest. He lazily held out his hand to grab it, but you pulled back.
“Before I give it to you, can you promise me to guarantee my safety?”
He raised his eyebrows.
“Your safety?” he glanced at the envelope in suspicion. “Why? What do you have there?”
You swallowed and opened the envelop. You stared at the picture for a moment, then holding on to it tight, you turned it towards Peña. His expression changed immediately. He hastily adjusted himself in the chair and leaned closer. His eyes were sharp, and he had his full attention on the photograph. He seemed shocked. He looked at you with restrained anticipation. He spoke in a very low voice, almost whispering.
“Where did you get this?”
“I’m a photographer,” you whispered back, feeling tense again.
“So what, you just happened to take a picture of a wanted hitman?”
“That’s exactly what happened.” You put the picture down to the table, turning it towards Peña. You pointed at the man you saw in the news. “That’s… That’s La Quica, right?”
He didn’t answer. His eyes were skanning every inch of the photograph; the blue car with the license plate, La Quica and the other man.
“Who is he?” you pointed at the other. Peña ignored the question.
“Did you show this to anyone else?”
You shook your head.
“I wanted to give it to the police.”
He stared.
“What stopped you?”
“I know someone there. He told me to be careful. A lot of policemen are dirty.”
He nodded to himself - maybe wasn’t even aware of doing it. Then he quickly turned the photograph and checked the glass walls behind his back.
“Put this away,” he said, and turned back to you. “This picture can cause you a great deal of trouble.”
“I figured,” you said, sealing the envelope. “This is why I wanted to talk to someone from the DEA. Did you memorize the licence plate?”
He scowled. “Why?”
You frowned. Wasn’t it obvous?
“Well, I’m not going to give you the picture.”
He raised his head and pointed at the envelope.
“Hold on a second. This is serious lead to…”
“You just said it can cause me a great deal of trouble!” You tried to keep your voice down, but you were nervous. “I’m willing to help, but I’m not risking my life for your cause.”
“Our cause?” he looked as if the word left a bad taste in his mouth. You tried to sit straight.
“So, can you provide some kind of protection for me?”
“Protection?” he looked surprised. “If you’re not givin us the picture, then what for?”
“I just showed you a car probably full of drugs and two people connected to Pablo Escobar,” it was outrageous. Why didn’t he understand?! “Don’t you think I should be concerned?”
He squinted his eyes.
“What was your name again?”
“Elizabeth Landon,” you said impatiently. Peña leaned closer and started talking fast.
“Listen here Elizabeth Landon. I’m not saying that I cannot help you, but it will be a lot more difficult to get your protection if I don’t have anything to show to the Ambassador.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, that without the picture there is no reason for the DEA to help you.”
“But you saw the picture!”
“And I’m just only one man,” he shook head said slightly, still looking deeply in your eyes. “If you don’t feel safe, don’t give us the picture. Without it, I can say that I have a tip from a local about a car that transfers narcotics around the city to smaller dealers. I have the plate number. We can work with that.”
“But?”
“But… it would give a lot more ground to the cases of these two. It’s perfect evidence. If we find the car, it’ll worth even more.”
“I don’t want to get in trouble for this.”
Suddenly, you felt really scared. You knew he saw it, too. His hand moved in a certain way that you thought he will hold onto your arm. But then he stopped and retreated.
“I’ll try and put in a few words. Maybe we can find a way to provide protection for the intel.”
You didn’t take your eyes off him. He seemed honest, but how could you be sure? Was it all a mistake? Coming here?
“Why didn’t just mail it to us?” he asked suddenly.
“I’m a photographer. I shot this during work. A local magazine I work for will include my name and my other pictures with date. If this photograph leaks… Do you think I’m in danger?”
The question came out in a shaky voice, in which you barely recognized your own. Peña stared, then silently took the sealed envelope and held it towards you. You took it.
“I’ll ask around tomorrow. Maybe we can help you for the tip alone.”
You nodded. Your throat was dry.
“Can I have a glass of water, please?”
He stood up and walked out the room, where a water tank stood at the wall. He poured you a glass and returned.
“Anything else?”
“Yes,” you said suddenly. “Can you… Can you take me home?”
That took him by surprise. You stood up, zipping your bag.
“My car is towed away. And it’s already dark outside.”
He glanced through the glass into the hallway. There was no one there.
“How far?”
“It’s not far,” you said. Then quickly added, “Please.”
——
“You said it was not far.”
“Well, I didn’t calculate traffic.”
“Well, you should have. I’m not a taxi service.”
You two had been sitting in the middle of a traffic jam for twenty minutes. Peña seemed annoyed, and that made you unfomfortable. It was incredibly awkward. Now you regretted that you had asked him to take you. You would be home by now for sure.
“We’re not far, I can just walk now,” you said, determined to get out of this embarrassing car ride. Peña grunted.
“No fucking way. I’ve taken you this far. I don’t need you walking around in the dark streets of Bogotá.”
“How thoughtful of you,” you mumbled, rolling your eyes.
“Yeah. I don’t want that picture to get lost.”
You looked at him in dismay. Even in the dull light of the evening traffic, you could see a sarcastic little smile on his face. Like it was just a joke to him.
“You’re an asshole,” you burst out. His smile faded and he turned to you, his face expressionless. Silent. Serious.
The line of cars moved and someone from behind honked. Peña turned his attention back to the road and you turned away from him for the rest of the journey. You two were sitting in complete silence, and you were staring outside, seeing young people with friends, elders walking their dogs, moms pushing their strollers. You closed your eyes. You couldn’t believe that the last thirty six hours really happened. It was surreal.
“It’s me,” you said finally ten minutes later, and Peña stopped in front of a house with white walls. He was still silent and did not look at you. It made you angry. You had every right to be offended. Not him. You stepped out of the car without saying a word to him. Then, when you almost closed the door, you looked back. “You said you’ll ask around tomorrow about my protection. I really hope that you keep your promise.”
He turned to you, ready to say something, but you shot the door. Now, being out of that gloomy office, his promise seemed vague and quickly made. It filled you with guilty pleasure that you didn’t give the photograph to him.
You found your keys and stepped inside. You only heard his car leave, when you closed the door behind you.
Summary: When Liz gets a hold of some serious evidence against the infamous druglord, she is afraid and doesn’t know what to do. Will there be anyone, who will be able to help her?
“Shit!” you said as you looked at the clock and realized that you were already late. “Fuck!”
You ran to the bathroom and brushed your teeth with incredible speed. You grabbed your bag, shoved a sandwich and a bottle of water in it, then you searched for a new pair of pants while hastily combing your hair with your shaky fingers. God, you could have killed for a cigarette.
Ignoring the mess in the living room and leaving behind an agressively ringing telephone, you ran out of the house, down the stairs and out to the street. Just then did you remember that your car had been towed away the night before. You grunted in frustration, then started running to the bus stop, checking your watch in every second. You turned right at the corner and made it just in time to be able to catch your breath before stepping on to the arriving vehicle.
Mondays were not your favourite, let’s just put it that way. You had been out the night before, saying - and drinking - goodbye to your sister, visiting from home. You looked up at the sky as though you could see her plane leaving for Seattle. You already missed her. All of a sudden you felt miserably alone.
There was no time to drown yourself in self-pity; you had to hurry to catch the next bus at the intersection of the mall. Trying to ignore your hammering headache, you found a seat and leaned against the window, resting your temple on the cool glass.
“Buenos dias,” you said twenty minutes later, arriving at the park. “Sorry, the bus was late.”
“They are ready for you,” said the director with a heavy accent, pointing at the two women in summer clothing, surrounded by the crew and their artificial lights. You nodded and stepped to the fountain, grabbing your camera from your bag.
Being a photographer was the best decision you had made in your life, and coming to Colombia was the second best. You loved your job and loved the country that you were able to work in. The culture, the people, the food and basically everything just drew you to itself, and you happily let it take you away. Sarah - your sister - didn’t understand. She said you’d have hundreds of places in the U.S. where you could work as a photographer. She said living here was dangerous, especially with everything that was going on all over the country. But you didn’t care. You loved it. You had only been here for a year and a half, but you felt like you never wanted to leave. Not without a good reason, anyway.
You were working in deep concentration, taking a break every now and then to wait for the models to change outfits. Now, as it was close to noon, more and more people started to gather around, just watching what you were doing, or sitting down onto benches, enjoying the sunlight. Children were playing, dogs were barking and you just couldn’t feel happier in that moment.
While the crew made some tidying touches on the models’ make up, you lifted your camera again and started taking pictures of the liveliness. You took a picture of the fountain with some birds drinking from its water, then turned around and took a quick shot of two kids playing swordfight with some sticks. You laughed to yourself and kept taking pictures; an old couple walking hand in hand, two men next to a car shaking hands, a dog sniffing something on the ground then running away, and a bald guy with kind smile handing out ice cream from a foodtruck.
“Take a break Liz, or you’ll exhaust yourself with all that work.”
Hearing the familiar voice, you turned around with a small smile on your lips.
“Danilo!” you laughed at the man. “Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”
“I’m not on duty today. I thought I’d take a walk,” he said, and pointed at the camera. “Anything good?”
“Just the usual,” you answered and nodded towards the models, who were almost ready. Danilo took one short look at them and snorted.
“Not the ideal beauty if you ask me.”
You raised and eyebrow.
“Why, what’s the ideal beauty for you?”
As soon as you asked the question, you regretted it. You had met Danilo the day you moved to Bogotá, and it was clear from the first moment that he fancied you. There had been some misunderstanding with your papers, so you had gone to the police station to clear up the case. That’s were you had seen each other for the first time. He had been working there for a time now, and since that day he asked you out several times. It always ended with you saying no. You didn’t know what it was, but you didn’t feel the same way towards him. You liked him, but not romantically. He was a nice friend.
“I’m just saying…” he continued, half jokingly, “…that I know a very nice restaurant around the corner. Maybe we could —”
“I’m sorry,” you said, casting down your eyes. “But I…”
“Don’t have the time?” he guessed. You could see that he was disappointed. You nodded, this time looking into his eyes.
“I’m sorry.”
He locked eyes with you for a moment, then something changed on his face and he was smiling again.
“Well, I guess I just have to wait for my time.”
You swallowed. You knew his time would never come. And you had told him that several times before.
“Yeah… Listen, I’ve got to go back to work,” you said, heading towards the returning models. “See you around, okay?”
Danilo nodded. He squeezed your shoulder, then waved goodbye with a smile.
“See you around, Liz.”
Then he left, his hands in his pockets.
——
At home you went over the negatives first, holding them in front of the window. Then, you put them in a little container and walked to a nearby shop to have them developed. You always liked to see the pictures before sending them in to the magazine; it just gave you certainty that you had done a great job.
After getting back to the house, you talked with Sarah on the phone, then tidied up the house a little bit before making some dinner. Then, you just sat on the couch and ate undercooked pasta while watching some soap opera on the TV. It was in Spanish, naturally. You groaned to yourself. All these months that you had spent here and you still didn’t learn Spanish. You knew basic words, but you just simply didn’t have the time to put more effort into it. You felt ashamed and switched the channel.
It was the evening news, and they were talking about a plane crash that happened not a long time ago. You sat in quiet, glued to the screen. They showed footage; the iron pieces of a plane. Clothes lying on the ground. Bodies. You couldn’t blink. The reporter was saying something else. You could only understand one thing of what she was saying: Pablo Escobar.
Then, the footage changed and two man was talking in a studio. At once, a mugshot-like picture of a young man appeared on the screen, with a text and an amount of money printed under his name. You didn’t need a translation to know that he was associated with the crimes happening in the country. He also seemed oddly familiar to you.
You turned off the TV and tried to get some sleep. Tomorrow you would get the photos and send the really nice ones to your boss. You yawned. You could only hope that he’d like them. Maybe then you’d be able to get a raise and buy a new couch. The old one was a bit lumpy…
You slept and dreamed about planes and models.
——
When you woke up in the morning, you were more tired than ever. You hadn’t slept well, and you couldn’t forget that man in the news, who was so familiar to you. You didn’t know how, and there was a chance that you didn’t even want to know. You just wanted to forget his face and live on.
After lunch you went to get the photographs and the negatives, then getting some snacks and turning on the TV again for some background noise, you started looking over your yesterday’s work. It was pretty good… well, it was actually great. You liked the colors and the background, and you liked the style of the dresses the women wore. After putting the best ones separately and sealing the envelope, you turned to the TV only to see the that mistery man again. You frowned and reached for the remote to turn it off, but something stopped you. They were showing now pictures of hundreds of white packages. Pure cocaine. Then they were showing a map, a certain area marked with red. You recognized the area as the park from yesterday. Then, they showed the same young man as yesterday.
Something hit you and you felt electricity coursing through your body. You jumped back to the table, hastily shuffling the remaining pictures around. Yes! You found it. It was a picture of the two men that you shot yesterday, while randomly taking pictures of your surroundings before Danilo showed up. They were there; two men, standing next to a blue car. The licence plate of the car was perfectly captured, and only now did you relize that what you had thought to be a handshake between the two men carried some deeper meaning. Their face was visible - one of them was the man shown in the news. He was the one that they were looking for.
Sitting in fearful silence, your whole apartment felt uneasy. What should you do? You didn’t know much about policework, but you knew that you have something very valuable in your hands. You quickly turned the picture facing down as if someone could see it from the street outside. You swallowed nervously. What should you do?
——
“I’m here to see Danilo López,” you said to the receptionist at the police station and hoped that you would be able to get things over with quickly. Your hand was shaking nervously and you were craving for cigarettes.
“Liz! What are you doing here?” Danilo’s face darkened as he saw your anxious expression. “Is everything okay?”
“I… I need to talk to you,” you said, quickly glancing around. “Can I talk to you?”
“Of course,” he nodded and luckily didn’t ask any more questions until he stepped into a small room with only one table. “So, what’s happening?”
“This,” you said and took a carefully wrapped envelope from your bag and handed it to him. He opened it and took a look at the picture. For a moment he stared at it, then frowned.
“What am I seeing, exactly?” he asked, eyebrows raised.
“Them. I saw them in the news. I mean, him,” you pointed at the man on the right. “And I’m sure he is the one that they’re looking for.”
“What makes you so certain?” he asked. It made you nervous, him not understanding what you just discovered. You gave out a shaky chuckle.
“Look at him! His face was all over the news. They showed pictures of cocaine and were talking about Escobar!” You fidgeted with the strap of your bag, then continued. “I think this is serious evidence. I think this other man should be investigated.”
You tried to sound determined, but you knew that Danilo could read the nervousness in your voice. He nodded.
“I agree. But why did you bring this to me? Why didn’t you show this to a captain?”
You stared at him, then glanced towards the doorway. You whispered.
“You said once that there are a lot of dirty cops.”
He stared back and you had no idea what was on his mind. Then, his face softened.
“You did right. Hey, Liz…” he gently grabbed your shoulder and made you turn to him again. “You did great. Don’t be afraid. I’ll make sure… I’ll make sure to get this to the right people.”
He looked at the picture again, but you were too scared to let it go out of your hands. You took it back with a sudden move, crinkling it a little in the middle.
“How about I’ll keep it safe? Just… Just until you’ll know exactly what to do with it.”
Danilo looked at you with some sort of caring in his eyes. He was thinking for a long time, then finally nodded.
“That’s also fine with me. But be careful. Don’t show this to anyone else, do you understand? No one.”
“Okay. I won’t.”
“Good,” he said, then took your arm and gently guided you towards the hallway. “I can come over tomorrow if you’d like. I might figure out something by then.”
“Sure,” you answered, but your stomach was in a knot. “Thanks, Danilo.”
“Anytime,” he said, squeezing your shoulder before letting you go.
You left the police station with great relief. When inside, you couldn’t shake the feeling that all eyes were on you. You didn’t like it. Outside was a bit better. You gently touched your bag, making sure that the envelope with the picture was there, then started walking on the street. You didn’t want to go home just yet; you wanted to walk off this tension in your body. And mostly, you wanted to think.
You liked Danilo and he was a good cop, but letting the picture out of your hands was out of the question. You had stached the negatives at home, hiding them under the cupboard in the living room, just in case. You were scared, and intimitated by the amount of power you suddenly had by this tiny photograph.
You were scared to use it. You knew how many were fighting against druglords and smugglers. And you knew that the fight against Escobar was still heavy. You were scared of what that picture might do to you. But you also felt shame when considered doing nothing with it.
And suddenly, you knew exactly what you needed to do.
——
Javier was not having a good day. Ever since the Avianca plane was bombed, the morale of the DEA was in serious decline. Gaviria was in constant danger, fires and vandalism was the daily routine of the country, and now the kidnapping of Colombia’s most famous reporter was the news that everyone was talking about. Javier took one long look at the board filled with names and pictures of Escobar’s suspected associates, then sighed to himself and closed his eyes for a moment. He was in serious need of some sleep. Or some alcohol.
There was a knock on the door and he looked up, the sudden brightness of the vibrant lightbulbs huring his eyes. There was a young man, Acosta standing there, peaking in the room.
“Agent Peña! There’s someone here for you,” he said in Spanish and Javier groaned.
“For me? Who is it?”
Acosta shook his head.
“She said she wants to talk to an agent. She won’t say why. She’s American.”
“Send Murphy.”
“Agent Murphy’s already left, sir.”
That son of a bitch.
“Where is she?”
“Delirio.”
Javier closed his eyes again and massaged the throbbing point in his temple.
“Fine. I’ll be right there.”
Acosta left and Javier was left alone with his board. He did not want to talk to any American. He was not interested in anything other than putting a bullet into each of the heads of the men on the board.
He stood up, grabbed his packet of cigarettes, then stepped out to the hallway. He headed for a tiny room which was kept up for especially cases like this. At the DEA they called it la oficina de delirio. The office of delusion. The name had stuck, because most of the time they would question people there who came in from the streets, claiming to have important information, then proceeding to tell a gossip that was the biggest bullshit the DEA had ever heard.
Javier stopped in front of the office and glanced through the window while placing a cigarette in his mouth. She was a nervous looking young woman, maybe in her late twenties. She was holding on to a small bag, squeezing it while staring at the table she was sitting at. Her right leg was shaking. Javier inhaled the smoke and stepped inside, closing the door behind him.
“So…” he started out in English, locking eyes with the woman. “What do we have here?”
Summary:Basically, Javi has a lot of thoughts & feelings about Horacio the Family Man vs. Colonel Carrillo.
———-
Horacio belongs to Juliana. He’s a loving husband and doting father. He’s flowers on all the major holidays and presents just because. He’s sleepy kisses and breakfast in bed and predawn lovemaking.
Carrillo belongs to Javi. Carrillo is a fearless leader and ruthless warrior. He’s an extra mag on a duty belt and an extra tourniquet in a knee pocket just in case shit goes sideways. He’s quick handjobs and midnight whiskey and desperate fucking in the back of a Jeep.
Javi has long since made his peace with this. The two men may reside in one body, but they are entirely separate entities. Horacio is reserved for home, for Juliana’s warm embrace and flirtatious smiles. Javi has always known and accepted this. Because Horacio belongs to Juliana, yes. But Carrillo? Carrillo is his.
On the nights when there’s too much pent up adrenaline in their systems for sleep, Carrillo comes back to whatever shitty hotel room Javi is staying in and fucks him, hard and deep. Javi lives for these nights, for the bruises on his hips and the scratches he isn’t bold enough to carve into Carrillo’s back. He lives for the way that Carrillo will gasp out “Javier.” On these nights, Javi chants “Carrillo, Carrillo, Carrillo” like an incantation, and Carrillo never invites Javi to use his Christian name.
“Horacio” belongs to Juliana, after all. Of course, no matter how definitive the line between Horacio and Carrillo, they really are only one man. So when one is shipped off to Madrid, they both go. Javi doesn’t miss Horacio, but he yearns for Carrillo like a sailor yearns for the sea.
Javi never hears from either of them. Carrillo is not the type of man to call an old friend to catch up. Horacio is, but Horacio belongs to Juliana.
When Escobar escapes and Colombia once again has need of Colonel Horacio Carrillo, only Carrillo returns. Horacio stays in Madrid with Juliana, and doesn’t even appear in Medellin long enough to call her and let her hear his voice.
Javi fucking revels in it. Carrillo is here, with him and only him. There’s no need for his softer side, his kinder side. Not here in Colombia with only Javi for company. And for once Javi can leave those scratch marks he’s always dreamed of making on Carrillo’s back. He can take what he’s always wanted from Carrillo without worrying about what Horacio will say to Juliana. Juliana isn’t here.
It takes Carrillo killing a teenager in cold blood for Javi to realize that maybe he was wrong. Maybe there was always a little bit of Horacio in the man that Javi loved. Maybe there was always a little Carrillo in the one who loved Juliana. It’s too late to turn back now, though. Carrillo is here, and Horacio is not, and Javi will be damned if he gives up on either of them. He’s going to enjoy what he has while he has it, and when the time comes, he will watch Carrillo fade as Horacio returns. And if Javi is very, very lucky, Juliana will let them be friends. He can’t be sure, of course. Horacio belongs to Juliana.
The night after the raid on Moncada’s lab, Carrillo brings Javi back to his place in Medellin. It’s sumptuously furnished and unbelievably comfortable compared to what they’re used to. Carrillo tells Javi “I’ve always wanted to be able to take my time with you” and then he does. It’s the closest Javi has ever been to feeling like they were making love, but there will still be bruises in the morning. For the first time since they started fucking, Javi gasps out a desperate “Horacio”. He expects Carrillo to freeze and throw him out. He expects that to be the end of everything. Instead, Carrillo groans and thrusts harder and begs him to “Say it again, Javi. You never say my name.”
So Javi says it. “Horacio, you’re amazing.” “God, Horacio more.” “Horocio, oh, Horacio.” And Carrillo practically sobs when he comes.
As they lay together in the afterglow, Javi feels guilty for the first time since this began. The man next to him, smiling down at him and running a finger up and down the length of Javi’s spine isn’t Carrillo. He’s Horacio. And Horacio belongs to Juliana.
They will most likely never get a chance to have another night like that, and Javi isn’t sure whether or not he regrets it. He had enjoyed it, of course, but he’s perfectly happy to return to their usual routine of quick, desperate fucks in the brief respites they manage to find in the war they’re waging. He finds it easier to think of what they’re doing as being something that’s just between him and Carrillo, no Horacio or Juliana butting in. Javi wants to have one thing, just one, that belongs to him. And if that one thing is this vicious, feral man who will stop at nothing, then Javi will take it.
It takes Carrillo leaving him behind with nothing more than a shrug and the words “We’ll be in radio contact” for Javi to realize he has never owned an inch of this man. Horacio belongs to Juliana, yes. But Carrillo? Carrillo belongs to Escobar.
Summary:Eva Moore is assigned to work the last year of her contract with the DEA in Colombia. She just wants to get to the end of her tenure, but she keeps getting drawn further into a string of murders in the city. It isn’t long before she’s forced to face the ghosts of her past.
Word Count: ~2,300
Warnings:None
A/N:For the purposes of this story, Carrillo isn’t married–or, if you like, divorced. A/B/O dynamics are prevalent, and they come with their own warning. The overall rating for this story is Explicit, although not every chapter will contain adult themes.
Eva walked out of the office, folder clenched in her hand. Her breath was stuttering in and out of her lungs, her teeth hurt. With effort, she loosened her jaw and kept moving. The sound of her heels clicking on the floor satisfied the need to break literally every fragile object in reach. She didn’t give a shit if she scuffed the tile.
“What does your contract say?”
“No field work.”
“No. Field. Work. And, what did you do?”
“I didn’t know what–,”
“What—did you do?”
“Field work.”
As she entered the open office space, Javier waved her over, looking pleased. To keep herself from throwing her entire desk across the room, Eva made her way over. Carrillo was standing at another desk, on the phone. She couldn’t meet his eyes, though she knew his gaze followed her from one end of the room to the other.
“We got a lead on that body, the informant. Found a tattoo, a ‘z’, on her inner arm. Looks fresh.”
“I don’t care,” Eva shot back, she finally had a target for her anger.
Javier blinked, “You don’t care.”
“No, I don’t,” she spit out. “I got an informal reprimand today for coming to help with that case.”
He waved a hand, “Fuck them. You really helped, I’d like you to look at the pictures we took.”
Eva leaned a hand on his desk moving into his space and speaking softly, “My contract says I don’t go out and do field work, not under any circumstances. Do you know what happens if I break my contract?” She didn’t wait for a response, whispering harshly, “I go back to prison.”
When Carrillo’s the one to tell someone to calm down also LOVE Eva and Connie’s interaction that is totally something my bestie and I have done post-workout.
Summary: Big changes have come to the US Embassy—including a new boss for the DEA. Steve deals with the fallout from his arrest. The agents move to Medellín. Ari and Javi cannot find any time alone, and Javi begins to worry Ari doesn’t want him anymore. Ari makes a monumental decision. A failed raid costs the lives of many and results in the return of a familiar face.
Pairings: Javier Peña x OFC Ariana Morgan—DEA Agent and daughter of Pablo Escobar
Fandom: Narcos
Rating:Explicit 18+ ONLY
Word Count: 6,739
Warnings: language, misogyny, angst, SMUT, PiV sex, unprotected sex, kissing, jealousy, prostitution, violence, death, blood…let me know if I missed anything, and I’ll happily add it here!
A/N: Yay! A new chapter! This one takes us to the end of Season 2 Episode 2. I’m gonna try to speed through some of the plot in the next couple chapters. I want to get to the point I need to be in the main storyline to progress the romance. It’s hard to eliminate certain things though…need them for the story to make sense, so please be patient with me. I’m gonna make the chapters longer to help…it’s all planned out, so it’ll work out eventually. Lol
I included conversations from the episode to help anyone who hasn’t seen it or hasn’t watched it in awhile. Sorry if it feels redundant if you’ve seen the show a million times like me.
As always, feel free to let me know if I need to correct the Spanish translations!
“My title might be ‘ambassador’, but that’s some bullshit politician’s word,” Arthur Crosby, the newly appointed US Ambassador to Colombia addressed the room. He sat at the head of the table. Directly across from him at the other head of the table sat Lou Wysession. On either side of Crosby were Bill Stechner—the new CIA station chief, and Claudia Messina—the new DEA attaché…otherwise known as their new boss. Between Stechner and Wysession sat the two CIA operatives, Owens and Russell. Next to Messina was Edward Jacoby from Centra Spike. Javi was next to Jacoby, Ari sat between Javi and Wysession.
After Escobar escaped from prison, the Colombian government was scrambling to right that wrong. Gaviria went on TV and declared Escobar a narcoterrorist. He also accepted the help offered by US President George Bush. Which meant there were some shake ups at the embassy. Crosby—a tough as nail former Navy guy—had brought everyone in to make sure they were all on the same page.
“I know what it means to be on the front lines,” Crosby continued. “And everybody in this room wants the same thing: to take down Escobar. Now, as a veteran of numerous conflicts, I learned one immutable truth: the only way to succeed is by working together, by communicating, by sharing intelligence, and collaborating.” He gestured to Messina. “Uh, this is Claudia Messina. She is the new DEA attaché. She’ll be taking over all DEA operations in-country. Messina?”
“Thank you, Ambassador,” Messina replied. She turned her head to address the table. “The DEA will be opening field offices in Cali, Cartagena, and Barranquilla. As far as the Medellín team is concerned, they will be housed out of CNP headquarters until further notice.” Javi groaned inwardly. Bunking at headquarters was going to be a pain in the ass.
“But only some personnel changes have been made,” Messina added. Ari shot Javi a worried look. What the hell was she talking about? Before he could think too heavily on it, Crosby was speaking once more.
“Alright, now as far as long-term intelligence is concerned, that’s under the purview of the CIA, the station chief, Bill Stechner. Bill, you have anything you’d like to add?” The surly, balding man sniffed once.
“I’m good,” he replied in a bored tone. Javi’s eyebrows went up. This guy was clearly an asshole.
“Alright,” Crosby continued, “who’s here from Centra Spike?”
“I am, sir, Edward Jacoby,” Jacoby replied, raising his hand slightly.
“Alright,” Crosby acknowledged him, “let’s get Centra Spike back in the air immediately. I want to know every word these assholes say and all information flows through me, and I will disseminate as I see fit.”
“Yes, sir,” Jacoby agreed.
“When Escobar sticks his fucking head out, we’re gonna nail that son of a bitch,” Crosby promised. The meeting wrapped up. Javi and Ari quickly followed Messina out of the embassy. Javi was really concerned what she meant by personnel changes.
“I wanted to talk to you about Steve,” Javi called out as she exited the building. They walked down the steps.
“What about him?” She asked. “Other than the fact that he wasn’t here today.”
“Well, I suggested that he stay home,” Javi covered. “You mentioned making some changes. Just what exactly does that mean?”
“It means I’m making some changes,” she replied vaguely.
“Murphy’s a good agent,” Javi insisted. “He’s done a lot of good work down here.” Messina stopped walking and fished a file out of her bag.
“Yeah,” she said sarcastically, handing a page out of the file to Javi. “Looks like it.” Javi and Ari glanced down at the copy of Steve’s arrest report. Ari blew out a breath of frustration. After Steve had called him the night before, Javi had rushed over to Ari’s to grab her before they went down to the station to get Steve. He had been a mess. Javi handed it back and placed his hands on his hips. He rolled his lips, not sure what to say to his new boss. Steve had fucked up…but he didn’t deserve to be sent home.
“Do you have any idea the strings that were pulled to get that guy to not press charges?” Messina asked angrily.
“Sounds to me like the guy would’ve had a dog sniffing up his ass before he got on the plane,” Javi shot back with just a smidge of sass. “Maybe Steve did him a favor.”
“Watch it,” Ari warned him quietly.
“Was that a thank you?” Messina said in a low voice. She sighed. “Be straight with me, Agent Peña, and I’ll be straight with you. I don’t need a guy like that making my life more difficult. And making the DEA look bad.”
“Ma’am—” Javi began.
“—Messina,” she cut in. “Or boss.” Javi watched her for a moment. It was clear what she was doing. Asserting her dominance, letting everyone know that she was tough and capable…trying to overcompensate for being a woman in a male dominated career. His heart tugged. He knew this was the same shit Ari dealt with every day, and he hated that they had to fight so hard just to prove they were worthy. Still, Messina had no fucking clue what they had been dealing with…how fucked up Colombia was right now.
“We’ve been down here a long time,” he told her, his voice raspy with emotion. “You’ve been down here all of what, two hours?”
“Dammit, Javi,” Ari groaned quietly. Javi swallowed audibly.
“It may not make the front page, but…a lot of the intel we have is because of Steve,” Javi continued. “He’s a good man. He’s going through some shit right now. You know he was at the airport to stop his wife from leaving the country with their kid. He didn’t make it. Add that to watching Escobar build a five star prison and then walking out the back door. We both deserve to see this through…boss.” Messina stared at him a moment and then walked away.
“Wait!” Ari called out. Messina stopped and turned back to Ari. She stepped in front of Javi to address their boss. “I know what you must be thinking about these guys.”
“And what’s that, Agent Morgan?” Messina asked. Javi noticed she wasn’t as short with Ari as she was with him.
“That they’re misogynistic assholes, and you’ll never earn their respect,” Ari answered. “But that couldn’t be further from the truth. I know you feel the need to come on strong…let everyone know you’re tough shit and deserve this job. I get it. I do it too. But you don’t need to do that with us. This team…it’s something special. We all respect the hell out of each other. We have each other’s backs. No matter what. Steve and Javi are the only men I’ve ever worked with that weren’t misogynistic assholes. They don’t give a shit that I’m a woman. They trust me to do the job. Steve is a damn good agent. He fucked up…but we all have at some point, right? He’s sacrificed a lot to be here and fight this war. We all have. Just…have a little faith. And a fuckload of patience.” Messina’s lips twisted as she contemplated Ari’s words. Javi saw the glimmer in her eye and realized she was holding back a smile.
“I remember you,” Messina told Ari. “From the New York office.” Ari’s eyebrows raised.
“I didn’t think you would, boss,” Ari replied in surprise. “We didn’t have a lot of interaction.”
“You were new,” Messina said, “but I remember you. You held a lot of promise then. From what I’ve read in your file, you’ve more than lived up to that.” Messina paused. “I’ll need to speak to Murphy. Once you’re settled in Medellín. Chopper leaves at eight o’clock tomorrow morning.”
“Yes, boss,” they replied. She nodded once and left. Javi just stared at Ari, slightly in awe.
“You good?” She asked when he didn’t move.
“Yeah,” he said gruffly. “Thanks…for that. Appreciate you sticking up for us.” Ari rolled her eyes playfully.
“Like I would do anything else,” she said teasingly. “Let’s head back and let Steve know what’s going on.”
“Good idea,” Javi agreed. “Plus I guess we should pack.” Ari nodded and they made their way home.
Less than half an hour later they were seated on Steve’s couch. The place was a wreck, and so was Steve. Steve cracked open three beers and handed one to each Ari and Javi.
“Have you, uh…had anything to eat in the twenty four hours?” Javi asked him, his face creased in worry.
“This new boss,” Steve said, clearly ignoring Javi, “Messina…what do you know about her?”
“Only what I’ve heard,” Javi answered. “She’s out of New York. Doesn’t put up with any shit. Ari knows better than me. She worked with her a bit in New York.” Steve turned to face Ari.
“I’m not gonna lie, Steve,” Ari told him, “she’s tough. She really doesn’t tolerate anyone’s bullshit. She was a great agent, but she has something to prove, now more than ever. There were plenty of murmurs about her getting this promotion…a lot of the men in the DEA are pissed it went to her. She won’t sit idly by and prove them right.”
“Fuck!” Steve exclaimed. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Am I out?”
“I don’t know,” Javi answered honestly.
“Well, I ain’t ready to go home yet, Javi. I’ll tell ya that.” Steve threw his bottle cap across the room. “Dammit!” Steve fell into his chair just as Javi and Ari stood.
“Take a shower,” Javi told him. “Sober up.” Ari shook her head at Javi. He wasn’t doing much to help lighten Steve’s mood.
“We spoke to Messina,” Ari said softly. “I don’t know how much good it did, but I feel like she was listening to us. I don’t think you’re going home, Murphy.” Steve offered her a small smile.
“Thanks,” he replied quietly.
“Remember, eight a.m.,” Ari reminded him. Steve nodded.
“Talk to you,” Javi told him as they left. They walked down the stairs to their apartments.
“Wanna grab some dinner after we pack?” Javi asked her.
“Sounds good,” she said with a smile. “Just come over when you’re done.”
Javier sat up, swung his legs over the side of the bed and grabbed a cigarette and his lighter off the nightstand. He put it in his mouth and cupped his hands around the tip as he ignited the lighter. They had packed up what they needed for the transfer to Medellín, eaten dinner, and come back to his place for a very vigorous round of sex. Javi knew it would be next to impossible to find time to be together once they were camped out at headquarters. He couldn’t resist one last taste.
Ari rolled to her side and sat up. She leaned down and grabbed her panties off the floor. She stood up and quickly pulled them on. She spotted her bra a couple feet away put that on as well. She was searching around for her pants when Javi noticed her movements.
“What are you doing, hermosa?” He asked, blowing out a puff of smoke.
“Looking for my damn pants,” she huffed, bent down at the foot of the bed. “Did you really have to toss my clothes all over the room?” Javier chuckled.
“I was in a bit of a hurry.” He heard her snicker quietly from her place on the floor, followed by a triumphant sound. She stood up, jeans and shirt in hand. She tossed the shirt on the foot of the bed while she stepped into her jeans.
“Why are you getting dressed?” Javier asked, taking another drag of his cigarette. She pulled her jeans over her curvy rear, pulling the zipper up and buttoning them.
“Because it would be weird if I walked out the door naked.” Javier frowned.
“You’re leaving?” He asked, surprised. What the hell was going on?
“Yeah,” she answered, grabbing her shirt off the bed and struggling to turn it right side out.
“You don’t have to go yet,” Javier said, crushing the cigarette out in the ashtray on the nightstand. “Lay down, relax. We can go for round two in a bit.” He smiled seductively. She shook her head, before pulling her shirt over it.
“Nah,” she muttered through the fabric. Her head popped out the opening and she quickly pushed her arms through the sleeves. “I’m gonna head home. I’m tired.” She straightened out the shirt, smoothing it down over her hips.
“C’mon, baby,” Javier said, reaching out and grabbing her hand, trying to pull her closer to him. “Stay a little longer. I haven’t gotten enough of you tonight.” She pulled her hand away gently.
“No, Javi,” she told him softly. Javier scowled.
“The one time I ask you to stay you say no?” he grunted. She scoffed.
“You’re not asking me to stay, Javier,” she fumed. “You’re asking me to wait here until your dick gets hard again so you can fuck me and then tell me to leave. We have an early morning and a long fucking day tomorrow—and if I stay, I’m going to fall asleep, and I don’t feel like having you wake me up and kick my ass out. I’m exhausted and want to sleep.” Javier felt furious…and guilty. “Don’t look at me like that, Peña. Don’t get all pissy because you’re not getting your way. We decided on a casual thing—you’re not my boyfriend. We don’t spend the night together. You live your life, and I live mine. Sometimes we fuck. End of story. You want to renegotiate the terms of that? Fine. But not tonight. I’m tired, and I’m leaving. I’ll see you in the morning.”
Javi stared in shock, long after he heard the front door close. Did that actually just happen? Ari blew him off. She got her fill and just left. Fuck, he felt a little cheap. For the first time in his life, Javier Peña felt used…fuck, was this how she felt every time he left her? Was she this crushed when she would look up at him with those gorgeous, soft eyes and ask him to stay—only for him to shoot her down? He chewed on his lower lip. He didn’t like feeling like this. And he hated even more that he may make Ari feel this way. Fuck.
Ari walked back into her apartment. She pulled off her pants and shirt and slipped on a tank top. She climbed under the covers and stared at the ceiling. This new method was eating at her. Pretending they meant nothing…it felt so wrong. She needed to tell Javi how she felt. She hated lying to him…though technically it was more like omitting rather than lying. Still, she didn’t like it. Javi deserved the truth. It didn’t matter to her if he didn’t reciprocate her feelings. She was fine with keeping things the way they were for now, but he deserved to know the whole story. Playing games wasn’t her style. She was direct and honest. It was time to be an adult and tell him she loved him. She swallowed the lump in her throat. She just hoped she wouldn’t scare him away before they even got a chance to try.
The three DEA agents made it to Holguín in one piece. Javi was still fuming over the way Ari had walked out on him the night before. They were shown to their room—their one room. The three of them were expected to bunk together.
“Wow,” Steve scoffed as they walked in. It was a decent size room, but it was a mess. There was a metal bunk bed, a single bed, a desk, a few chairs, some rolled up mattresses, and a bunch of junk they’d have to move around.
“Fucking hell,” Ari groaned. Javi glanced around. He’d been right. It would be impossible for the two of them to fuck while they were stuck here. Though, with how pissed he was, he didn’t really want to fuck her anytime soon.
“Dibs!” Ari and Steve shouted at the same time. They both ran to the single bed. They crashed into each other and erupted into laughter.
“Move your ass, Murphy,” Ari grunted through her giggles. “I was here first.”
“Nah uh,” Steve argued. “I definitely beat you!” Ari shoved him playfully.
“Maybe we should just let Javi have it,” Ari offered. Javi stared at her in fascination and barely suppressed anger. He clenched his jaw and looked away. He needed to get his shit together. He couldn’t decide if he wanted to strangle her or hold her down on that bed and fuck her stupid.
“I’m good,” Javi told them. “I don’t mind the bunk bed.”
“Gonna be hard to fuck your girls on a bunk bed, Javi,” Steve teased. Ari made an odd, strangled sound.
“No one, I repeat no one is having sex in here,” Ari warned in a low voice. “The last thing I want is to walk in and see either of your asses plowing into some poor, unsuspecting girl.”
“I’m a married man,” Steve protested. “Give me some fucking credit, Ari.” Ari nodded, and they both turned to Javier.
“What?” He asked in a huff.
“No fucking in here, Peña,” Steve told him.
“Yeah, I heard,” he said gruffly. They both just continued to stare at him. “Oh, for fuck’s sake, I do have some self control.” When he saw the small smirk on Ari’s beautiful mouth that familiar anger boiled up again. He felt the need to lash out, and that self control he just boasted of vanished.
“I’ll just go to the brothel…or her place,” Javi tossed out. “At least then I know I won’t be bothered and we’ll have hours to enjoy each other.” The flash of hurt across Ari’s face sent a spark of satisfaction through Javi, but it was instantly replaced with a hot stab of remorse. She quickly schooled her features, the sign of pain gone in almost an instant.
“Works for me,” she said flippantly. “Though I don’t have the brothel option. Still have yet to find one with men.” She sighed dramatically. “Guess I’ll stick to bars and one night stands.” Javi clenched his fists and turned away from her. He wondered if this was all for Steve’s benefit, or if she really wanted to find random men now.
“So, who’s taking this bed?” Steve asked.
“You can have it,” Ari replied. “You’re way taller than me, so no need for you you try to fit in a bunk bed.” She hopped off the bed and tossed her bag on the floor next to the bunk bed. Javi stretched himself out on the lower bunk. Ari grabbed one of the rolled up mattresses and unfurled it. She hoisted it over her head and tried desperately to get it on the bunk. She jumped and pushed the bulky mattress over her head. Javi suppressed a smile. She looked adorable. Her tiny little body trying so desperately to get the bed put together. By her fourth attempt Steve took pity on her.
“Oh hell, Ari,” he sighed. He took the mattress from her and easily placed it on the bunk. He grabbed the sheets and made the bed up for her. Once he was done he glanced down at her and then back to the bed.
“Ari, can you even get up here?” He asked. This bunk bed wasn’t like a normal one that had an easy way to climb up. Ari glanced around trying to figure out her best course of action. She gripped the sides and tried to pull herself up, but she was just too short. She dropped down and huffed in frustration. Her eyes danced around the room, looking for a solution. She made a small sound of triumph and walked over to an arm chair. She dragged it to the bed and pressed it against the frame. She climbed on top of the chair and stood op the back. It gave her just enough leverage to hoist herself onto the mattress. She grunted and flipped over onto her back.
“Piece of cake,” she panted slightly. Steve shook his head.
“Christ,” he swore quietly. “Get down, you lunatic. I’m taking the top bunk. Don’t need you breaking your fucking neck getting into bed.”
“It’s fine, Steve,” she insisted.
“Nope,” he argued. He reached his hands up towards her and motioned her forward. “C’mon, don’t be stubborn.” She sat up and scooted forward until her legs were dangling over the side. Steve gripped her waist and pulled her down. Javi felt a surge of jealousy at the sight of Steve’s hands on his girl. He quickly extinguished it. Steve wasn’t interested in Ari, and Ari wasn’t hisgirl.
“I’ll just take the bottom bunk,” Ari insisted.
“Javi’s shorter than me too,” Steve sighed. “Just makes sense for me to be up here.” To prove his point he easily vaulted himself into the bed. “See? Easy peasy.”
“Fine,” Ari relented. They spent the next hour clearing up the clutter, making up their beds, and unpacking the what they had brought with them.
“I think this is as good as it’s gonna get,” Steve sighed. Javi glanced around. It wasn’t much, but it would do. They each had a bed, there was a desk, and a couple chairs for them to sit on.
“It’ll work,” Javi replied. “What do we have on for today?”
“Tip line,” Ari answered.
“Fuck,” Steve swore. “I swear, Pinzón is punishing us or something.”
“Nah,” Javi disagreed. “They just don’t want us in their way. Keeping us on the sideline.”
“It’s bullshit,” Steve spat.
“Agreed,” Ari said. “But, we gotta play by their rules if we want to stay.”
“I miss Carrillo,” Javi muttered.
“Me too,” Ari said softly.
“You heard from him at all?” Steve asked.
“Yeah,” Ari answered with a nod. “I still talk to him every week. He’s keeping busy. Juliana loves Spain. He hates it.”
“Maybe he can come back one day,” Steve said after a bit of silence.
“Maybe,” Ari said, a wisp of hopefulness in her voice. The rest of the day was uneventful. They had developed a system with the tip line. If three calls came in for the same location from separate tips, they sent men in. Most of the tips were bullshit—even Pablo’s guys called in to mess with them.
A couple days later they had received their third call for the same location. The DEA rolled out with CNP, excited to finally have something to do…only to find it was yet another dead end. They busted through the the door to find the building abandoned and a scarecrow in the middle of the room. It had George Bush’s face attached to it with a dick drawn next to his mouth. They made it back to headquarters just in time for Messina to arrive.
“Get ready to get your balls snipped,” Javi teased Steve. Ari and Javi waited nervously at their desks, trying to focus on work. Javi was worried. Messina had every reason to send Steve home. He just hoped she would take his and Ari’s words to heart and give Steve another chance. Javi watched Ari. She was shuffling papers around and chewing on her bottom lip. He wanted to tug it out from between her teeth. She always chewed on her lip when she was worried.
His anger at her had dissipated over the last few days. He knew he was being irrational. There was no reason for him to be angry with her. She was just doing exactly what he had asked her to do. Still, he didn’t like her treating their relationship so casually…even though that’s exactly what it was. These feelings and insecurities sat heavy in his gut. This was uncharted territory, and it terrified him. So, Javier did what he did best when he was terrified. He found a distraction—and her name was Gabriela. Two days ago Javi’s anger was at a boiling point. He was pissed to be stuck on the tip line, worried about Steve’s future at the DEA, and sexually frustrated. He had no way to get Ari alone. And what was worse than all that…Ari didn’t seem to be affected at all. She didn’t seem to want to sneak away with him for a few steamy minutes. It was like he was transported back in time before that fateful Christmas when this all began.
Javi found Gabby two nights ago. He had gone to a brothel to relieve some stress, but no one caught his eye. They were too tall, or too thin, or too blond…or they didn’t have beautiful violet eyes. Just when he was about to give up and go back to headquarters he bumped into Gabby. She immediately saw the conflict within him and offered to buy him a drink. They left the brothel and went to the bar next door. Three drinks later they were at Gabby’s apartment with their clothes off. It had been good…fine…adequate. He felt a little less tension, but somehow even more cheap than the night Ari left him.
No woman was the same. Ever since he slept with Ariana, no one could compare. Sleeping with the others started to feel wrong. He shook himself mentally. It wasn’t wrong. They weren’t exclusive, and they never lied about what they did. Still, he couldn’t shake the feeling of betrayal.
Javi caught movement in the corner of his eye. Ari’s head had jerked up towards Messina’s office. Javi glanced over and saw Steve walking towards them. He dropped down into his chair with a sigh. Javi stopped typing to look him in the eye. Steve shrugged and picked up some negatives to get to work. Trujillo walked into the room, finishing up a call on his walkie.
“Vieron a La Quica comprando un inodoro,”(They saw La Quica buying a toilet.) Trujillo told them.
“I got ‘La Quica’ and ‘toilet’,” Steve muttered, his eyes squinting to examine the negatives. Javi suppressed an eye roll at his partner. The son of a bitch still couldn’t speak Spanish after all these years.
“Y adivinen cuál compró,”(Not just any toilet) Trujillo continued. “El mismo que tenía Pablo en La Catedral. Un Kohler.”(The same one that Pablo had at La Catedral. A Kohler.)
“Alright, well, now, that I got,” Steve said, sitting back.
“We can’t take that to Pinzón,” Javi replied. “He’ll laugh us out of the office.” He turned to Trujillo. “Necesitamos más.” (We need more.)
“Pero ¿qué más, Peña?”(But what else, Peña?) Trujillo asked.
“¿Adónde lo vieron?” (Where did they see him?) Javi asked.
“Yendo hacia las lomas por la vereda San Isidro,”(Going toward the hills on San Isidro Road.) Trujillo answered.
“Maybe we can get Centra Spike to do a flyover, see what they can come up with,” Javi offered.
“Be a lot better than the fucking tip line,” Steve muttered around the cigarette he was lighting.
“I’ll run it by Jacoby,” Ari said, standing up.
“Nah, I got it,” Javi said, stubbing out his cigarette.
“It’s fine, Javi, I can handle it,” she insisted.
“I said, I got it,” he grunted. “I’ll be right back.”
“What’s his problem?” He heard Ari ask Steve as he walked away. You, he thought. You’re my problem, hermosa. I can’t get you out of my head, and you don’t seem to give a fuck about me anymore. Javi stormed into Centra Spike’s office.
“We have intel,” he told Jacoby.
“Yeah?” The eager young agent perked up.
“A toilet,” Javi said.
“A toilet?” Jacoby asked incredulously.
“It’s a long story,” Javi said vaguely.
“Give me the Cliff’s Notes,” Jacoby pried.
“Look, just do me a favor,” Javi said firmly, “and ask them to sweep over that specific area. We’re looking for any chatter from Escobar’s sicarios. Anything at all. You recognize a voice, you come get me.” Jacoby nodded and Javi left. He turned the corner and was grabbed and pulled through a door. The door clicked shut and his eyes took a moment to adjust to the dim light. He was in a supply closet. He looked down into the warm eyes of Ari.
“What are you doing?” He asked.
“Making time,” Ari whispered before she pulled his mouth down to hers. He sunk into the kiss—allowed himself to get lost for just a few moments—before he pulled back slightly.
“Hermosa,” he whispered. “Are you crazy? This place is crawling with people. We could get caught.”
“I locked the door,” she replied, running her hands under the hem of his shirt and up his bare chest. “I’ve missed you, baby. It’s been too long since you’ve been inside me.”
“Fucking hell,” Javi groaned. He cupped her face with one of his large hands and kissed her deeply.
“We can’t do this here,” he whispered against her lips.
“Then where?” She begged.
“Fuck, I don’t know,” he sighed. He pressed his forehead against hers and squeezed his eyes shut. “I didn’t think you wanted this.”
“Wanted what?” Ari asked.
“This, us,” Javi replied quietly. “You’ve barely shown any interest since we’ve been here…I just thought…” he shrugged, trying to play off the pain he was feeling.
“Oh…Javi,” she whispered sadly. “Of course I want this.” She reached up to caress his cheek. “How could you think any different? You’re like an addiction. I crave you. There’s been something on my mind this week.” She paused and looked into his eyes, searching for something. He saw hers harden slightly in resolve before softening again.
“I need to tell you something, Javier,” she said in a soft, yet determined voice. She looked into his eyes and spoke words that both thrilled and terrified him.
“I love you.” He stared at her, completely dumbfounded. She loved him? How was that even possible? He was nothing and she was everything. He didn’t deserve her love. Hell, he didn’t even know if he wanted it.
“I don’t expect you to say it back,” she told him gently. “It doesn’t matter if you don’t feel the same way. We’ve always been honest with each other, and this is something I can’t keep from you anymore. But I don’t want you to worry. Nothing has to change.” She caressed his jaw and rubbed her thumb along his plush bottom lip. “I just couldn’t go another day without telling you. I love you.”
“Shit,” he rasped. He turned them around quickly and pressed her up against the door. “Keep quiet for me, querida.” He kissed her again and practically ripped her pants down her thighs. His hand cupped her roughly through her panties.
“Jesus, baby, you’re already soaked,” he groaned.
“I told you,” she rasped, “I crave you…I need you, Javi.” He spun her around, pressed her chest against the door, and pulled her panties down. He fumbled with his belt and zipper for a minute before gripping his dick and lining himself up. He slammed home in one thrust. Ari moaned softly. Javi bit into her shoulder to keep himself from shouting in ecstasy. She felt like heaven. She was the perfect woman…and she loved him. His heart swelled with pure, unfiltered joy. He didn’t deserve it, but dammit, he decided he liked how it felt to be loved by her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her back closer to his chest. He nuzzled his face into the side of her neck and began to thrust. He squeezed her tighter, wanting to melt into her. He had never felt this much emotion before. He was elated…aggravated…confused…unworthy. But all he could concentrate on in the moment was how fucking good she felt in his arms. He rocked into her a few more times before pushing her up against the door and pounding into her like he hated her. He unwrapped his arms and gripped her hip and shoulder.
“Fuck,” she grunted. “Right there.” Javi angled his hips and thrust up. He wasn’t going to last long. She felt too amazing.
“Please tell me you’re almost there, hermosa,” he pleaded in a husky voice.
“Yes, so close,” she moaned.
“Shh,” he warned. “Gotta keep it down.” He moved his hand from her hip to rub her clit.
“Shit,” Ari gasped. She turned her face into her arm that was supporting her against the door. She bit down on her sleeve to keep from screaming as her orgasm crested. Her pussy clamped around him, and he buried his face in her neck as he spurted violently inside her. They practically collapsed against the door.
“Fuck,” he groaned when they finally surfaced from their haze. “That was incredible.”
“Mmm, yes it was,” Ari smiled drunkenly. They fixed their clothing and Ari turned around. She kissed him sweetly.
“Thanks, Javi,” she whispered. “I’ll go out first.” She looked at him for a long, silent moment. “I love you.” With that whispered declaration she opened the door and looked out before disappearing. Javi stood there for a moment just staring at the door. Did that actually just happen? He still couldn’t believe that she loved him. He kept expecting to wake up and everything had just been a dream. He shook himself and left the closet. He needed to be accessible in case Jacoby found anything.
A couple hours later Jacoby had something for them. He played the tape. It was a call between Velasco and a woman.
“That is definitely Velasco,” Jacoby told them. “No ID on the girl.”
“So what’s the deal with the other call?” Steve asked him. Jacoby played the next call, but it was garbled and impossible to understand.
“The quality’s too poor for voice recognition,” Jacoby replied. Javi rubbed his forehead with the heel of his hand. He was frustrated. He stood up and moved to the table where Messina, Trujillo, Steve, and Ari were looking at aerials.
“Alright,” Steve sighed, “these were taken about two hours ago.” He began pointing out buildings in the photos. “What’s here is fincas, fincas. Everything else is just smaller houses here, here, and here, and the outskirts.”
“You can probably eliminate the smaller ones,” Javi told them, “just not Escobar’s style.”
“He’d be in one with more than one access point,” Ari added. “Needs alternate escape routes.” Javi nodded in agreement, but didn’t say anything. Ari tried to catch his eye, but he’d been avoiding her since her confession in the supply closet. She swallowed her fear that she had ruined things.
“Which of the fincas have road access both east and west?” Messina asked.
“This one here,” Javi pointed out. “It’s rough terrain down the back of the mountain, but it’s drivable.”
“It’s gotta be the one,” Steve said excitedly. “We’d have a good chance if we came at him from both sides.” Messina pondered over the photos and information for a moment.
“This is good,” she said finally.
“Great,” Javi replied. “What about Pinzón? We’re gonna need vehicles. We’re gonna need men.” Messina tossed her pen on the desk.
“Leave Pinzón to me,” she said. She stalked off to find the colonel.
“Think he’ll go for it?” Steve asked.
“No way,” Ari snorted. They went back to their desks to keep themselves busy until Messina came back. Fifteen minutes later Messina strode passed them on the upper level.
“What did he say?” Javi called out to her.
“He said no,” she replied without breaking stride and disappeared into her office.
“Told ya,” Ari said with a shake of her head.
“Oh, she’s not gonna last,” Steve smirked. “She gives up pretty fuckin’ easy.” Javi leaned back and lit a cigarette.
“Fuck,” Javi sighed. “Are we ever gonna catch a break?”
“Yes,” Ari answered, even though he didn’t seem to direct the question towards her. He still didn’t look at her, even after she spoke. She decided not to say anything more and leave Javi to his thoughts. He’d speak to her when he was ready.
Within an hour Messina was back.
“Gear up,” she told them.
“What?” Steve asked.
“We’re moving out,” she answered. “Raiding the finca.”
“Holy shit,” Steve whispered. “How’d you manage it?”
“Just a few well placed calls, and the colonel had a change of heart,” Messina said with a smirk. Ari chuckled softly. They quickly suited up—guns, badges, cuffs, tac vests. They jumped in the trucks along with CNP.
“This isn’t exactly the way I’d do this,” Ari muttered.
“Hmm?” Messina asked.
“You need to use stealth with Escobar,” Ari told her. “Go in quiet, don’t let him know you’re coming. Pinzón is just full tilt, guns blazing. Escobar has lookouts everywhere. He’ll be gone before we hit the property.”
“Fuck,” Steve grunted. Sure enough, half an hour later, they were standing in the courtyard of the abandoned finca.
“Peña! Morgan! Messina!” Steve shouted to them. They walked over to him to see a crated toilet—the same toilet Trujillo’s contact had told them about. Javi ground his teeth and walked over to Pinzón.
“He was here,” he said with quiet anger, right in the colonel’s face. He stormed off, his annoyance clear. Steve followed him. Ari took two steps then turned to face Messina and Pinzón.
“You wanna catch Escobar, you have to think like Escobar,” she warned. “This cowboy macho bullshit won’t work.” With that she turned and followed her partners out.
Needless to say, Escobar was not happy about him and his family having to flee their safe house in the middle of the night. He was pissed, and he wanted revenge. The next day he ordered a massive attack on CNP. Cops were gunned down all over Medellín. The city was a bloodbath. The DEA agents stepped out of headquarters and into total chaos. They were bringing all the injured cops back to headquarters for medical treatment. Men were screaming, blood and broken bodies everywhere. Javi stood in shock next to Ari. He turned and saw tears in her eyes.
“Look at what he’s done,” she whispered. “My father…my blood…he took all these lives…caused all this pain…what the fuck?” Javi didn’t say anything. This wasn’t a new concept to either of them. They had seen Escobar’s cruelty firsthand before. It was really hitting Ari today for some reason, and it tore Javi to shreds to see her in pain. He squeezed her hand briefly, letting her know he was still there, still by her side, still saw who she really was, no matter who was her blood.
“Peña!” Steve shouted to their left. They looked over to see him and Messina helping to work on some of the injured. Ari and Javi shook off their emotions and got to work. These guys needed a steady hand and a focused mind.
A couple days later they sat at their desks kind of staring off into space. It had been a rough week. So many men had lost their lives. They had no idea what the future held at this point. Colonel Pinzón had resigned, disgraced and ashamed of what had occurred under his leadership.
“Morgan!” Messina called out. All three of them looked up at their boss. “Can I see you in my office?” Ari sighed and got up.
“What’s that about?” Steve asked.
“No idea,” Ari shrugged and followed after Messina. They were gone several minutes before either of them spoke.
“Should we be worried?” Steve looked at Javi.
“I don’t think so,” he said, rubbing his bottom lip.
“You’re worried,” Steve said nervously.
“Huh?” Javi asked, surprised.
“You always do that when you’re worried,” Steve nodded towards Javi’s thumb on his lip.
“Shit,” Javi swore and moved his hand.
“He also does this thing where he twitches his fist,” Ari added, making them both jump. They hadn’t realized she returned. She was smiling.
“Good news or bad?” Steve asked.
“Great,” Ari beamed. She sat down and looked at both of them. Then told them the best news they’d heard in over a year.
Summary: Ari and Javi deal with the aftermath of ‘that night’. The DEA agents go out to La Catedral and meet the new man in charge of the hunt for Escobar. Eduardo and Ari come to an agreement. Ari finally decides how to proceed with Javier.
Pairings: Javier Peña x OFC Ariana Morgan—DEA Agent and daughter of Pablo Escobar
Fandom: Narcos
Rating:Explicit 18+ ONLY
Word Count: 8,650
Warnings: language, angst, talk of sex work, smidge of slut shaming (male), jealousy, kissing, SMUT, PiV sex, unprotected sex, strained father/daughter relationship…let me know if I missed anything, and I’ll happily add it here!
A/N: Ahh! This chapter took me forever and a day! I’m sorry for the long wait, but I hope you enjoy. This takes us through the first 2 episodes of Season 2.
I included conversations from the episode to help anyone who hasn’t seen it or hasn’t watched it in awhile. Sorry if it feels redundant if you’ve seen the show a million times like me.
As always, feel free to let me know if I need to correct the Spanish translations!
The next day Steve and Javier arrived at work before Ari. They didn’t realize it at first, assuming she was off somewhere else in the embassy. When she rushed in about an hour after them, it dawned on them that she had been late to work.
Ari.
Ari had been late to work.
“Jesus, Ari,” Steve said in shock. “You alright? We’ve never beaten you here before.” She placed her gun and badge in her drawer and sat down at her desk.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” she assured him. “Overslept.” She had been so exhausted she had slept through her alarm. While she normally would have hurried to get ready once she realized she was late, her actions were sluggish that morning. She had dreaded the thought of seeing Javier. She dragged out her morning, psyching herself up to face the man who was slowly, unknowingly, breaking her heart. Finally she pulled her head out of her ass and left for work. She wasn’t some weak little girl who hid from her problems.
She now sat at her desk and avoided eye contact with Javier. She just couldn’t look at him right now. She was still too raw from the night before. She willed the day to pass quickly and uneventfully. She could feel Javier watching her closely.
“Don’t get too comfortable, Ari,” Steve told her. “We’re heading to Medellín today. Gonna go through La Catedral.” She groaned.
“I was just there,” she complained.
“Sorry,” Steve said. “But maybe we can get something good.” Ari sighed.
“Alright, when do we leave?” She asked.
“Less than an hour,” Javi answered. She nodded without looking at him.
“Ok,” she responded. The drive to the airport and flight to Medellín was quieter than normal. Steve sensed something was really off with Ari. He kept asking if she was ok.
“I’m fine, Steve,” she assured him for the tenth time. “I’m just tired. Yesterday was a long fucking day.” Steve nodded, understanding completely.
“Alright, Ari,” he responded. “Sorry I’m being a pain in the ass, but I worry about you.”
“Thanks, Stevie,” she said with a smile. “But I promise, I’m fine.”
“Did anything happen last night?” He asked her, wondering if something transpired in the prison she had not shared with them.
“What do you mean?” She countered.
“Did…did any of his men hurt you?” He asked gently. Javier’s gaze snapped to them.
“No,” Ari answered quickly. “Escobar made it very clear that me and Eduardo were safe. He didn’t want to run any unnecessary risks.”
“How was—uh, how was it dealing with Escobar?” Steve asked gently.
“I don’t know,” Ari said with a shrug. “Not something I want to examine or talk about right now.” Steve nodded with understanding and quickly changed the subject.
“What about with Sandoval?” Steve pressed. “Anything happen with him?” Ari scoffed.
“He was a perfect gentleman,” she responded. “He did ask me out again though.” Javi clenched his fists. Steve laughed.
“Oh yeah?” He said with a smile. “I told you he was into you, Ari. I was right.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” she muttered. “Even idiots get lucky sometimes, Murphy.” He laughed again.
“What’d you say?” He asked her, watching Javi from the corner of his eye. Ari considered her answer carefully.
“I told him I’d think about it,” she replied. She had no intention of telling either man that she had turned Eduardo down. Maybe it would be good for Javier to know she had other options.
“Really?” Steve asked, shocked. Javier looked absolutely murderous. “You wanna go on a date with Sandoval?”
“Maybe,” Ari shrugged. “He impressed me last night at the prison. That man has more balls than I thought a politician would when faced with Escobar.” Javi scoffed. Ari had to stop herself from smirking. She knew that comment would bother Javi. After the way that asshole had tossed her out of his place last night, she wanted to get under his skin a bit today.
They drove up to the prison to a flurry of activity. The Colombian military and police were all over the place. A man held his hand up signaling them to stop.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Steve murmured as the man walked directly in front of the Jeep.
“Jesus Christ,” Javi said under his breath, taking in the scene before them.
“Agent Murphy, Agent Peña, Agent Morgan, DEA,” Steve told the man, Ibarra, once he reached the window. They all held up their badges.
“Entiendo,”(I understand) Ibarra said, “per hay que preguntar al coronel Pinzón. Esperen un momento.” (but I have to ask Colonel Pinzón. Wait one moment.) He walked over to the Colonel. Steve turned to Javi.
“Name Pinzón mean anything to you?” He asked his partner.
“No, don’t know him,” Javi answered. They saw the colonel waving his hand towards them, indicating he did not want them inside.
“You see this?” Steve scoffed.
“Well,” Javi said, “looks like we’re not invited to the dance.” Ibarra jogged back over to them.
“Les pedimos que esperen un momento,” (Wait here for a moment) he said politely, “Los dejaremos ingresar cuando el lugar sea seguro.” (We’ll let you in once the area is secured.)
“Yeah,” Steve said in a low voice as Ibarra walked away, “you mean when nothings left inside.” He slammed his hand against the dash in anger.
“What the hell,” Ari grumbled. “I should have just stayed in fucking bed today.” Steve huffed out a small laugh. They pulled over to the side and sat in the Jeep impatiently waiting to be allowed access to the prison. Steve tried to fill the uncomfortable silence. He sensed something was off with his partners, and he did not want to get in the middle of it.
“Fucking finally,” Ari sighed when they waved them in a while later. They were led into the building and told they were free to look around.
Further away Pablo was in the kitchen of his hideout discussing business with a few of his men.
“Nos va a tocar mover todo,”(We’re going to have to move everything) he told them as he approached the table.
“¿Cómo así que ‘todo’, don Pablo?”(What do you mean ‘everything’?) La Quica asked him.
“Todo,” (Everything) Pablo answered. “Los laboratorios” (The labs)—he sat down between Velasco and La Quica— “las oficinas, las caletas, los depositós. Vamos a mover todo.”(the offices, the hideouts, the deposits…we’re moving everything.)
“Patrón, ¿los laboratorios también?” (Boss, even the labs?) Velasco questioned. “Están bien vigilados. No hay ningún problema.” (They’re well guarded. There’s no problem.)
“Hermano,”(Brother)La Quica cut in, “¿ustedes no saben lo que está pasando en la Catedral? Están los policías revisando los mapas y documentos que ustedes dejaron ahí. No podemos confiarnos, malparidos.” (don’t you know what’s going on at La Catedral? The cops are going through all of the maps and documents you idiots left behind. Now we can’t trust anyone, you bastards.)
“¿A quién le estás diciendo malparido, hijo de puta?” (Who are you calling a bastard you son of a bitch) Velasco spat at him, sitting forward threateningly.
“Vamos…a mover…todo,”(We’re…moving…everything)Pablo interjected in a soft, dangerous voice. He looked towards Velasco. “¿Cierto?”(Right?)
“Sí, señor,”(Yes, sir) Velasco said sheepishly.
“Sí, Don Pablo,” Quica replied. Pablo got quiet for several minutes.
“¿Mi hija salió bien?” (My daughter made it out alright?) Pablo finally asked his men.
“Sí, patrón,”(Yes, boss) Velasco assured him. “Ella y Sandoval regresaron a Bogotá,”(Her and Sandoval made it back to Bogotá) Escobar just hummed quietly in acknowledgment. Now that he knew she was safe, he felt calmer. He hated leaving her last night. He had been terrified something would happen to her, but he knew she could handle herself. She was tough, smart, and a survivor. Sandoval’s warning rang in his head. He still couldn’t believe his daughter was sleeping with Peña.
His men told him all about the handsome young agent who loved to fuck their whores. It enraged Pablo to think of a man like that touching his precious daughter.
“Tenemos que hacer algo con su pareja,”(We need to do something about her partner) he said after a moment. “No me gusta la idea de que ese hombre toque a mi hija.” (I don’t like the idea of that man touching my daughter)
“Patrón,”(Boss) La Quica warned, “él es DEA … no podemos tocarlo.” (he’s DEA…we can’t touch him)
“Quizás,”(Maybe)Pablo said softly, clearly thinking through multiple strategies. “Veremos a dónde nos lleva el camino.” (We’ll see where the road takes us.) There was no way he would allow this to continue. He had to protect Ariana.
Javi, Ari, and Steve picked through what was leftover after the Colombian were done in La Catedral—which wasn’t much at all. Ari was digging through some papers scattered on the floor while Steve rummaged through shelves. Javi was flipping through some kind of book.
“This and Mein Kampf,” Javi called over to them. “Two classics of twentieth century literature.” Ari’s brow furrowed as she wondered what the hell he was looking at. She walked over quietly and peered over his shoulder. Her eyes widened. It looked like her father had been putting together some sort of autobiography.
“Yeah,” Steve said loudly, “what do you think the rent’s like? I’m thinking about moving in.” Javi chuckled quietly and glanced behind him. He noticed Ari.
“Hey,” he said quietly. Ari nodded once. She could feel him trying to catch her gaze, but she refused to look into his eyes.
“Hey, Javi!” Steve called out again. “You think the, uh…” he held up an open nudie magazine, “the Hague would want a couple of these?”
“How are you not wearing rubber gloves touching that shit man?” Javi said, a look of disgust on his face. Steve dropped the magazine and Javi laughed. Ari turned to Steve.
“Do not even think about coming near me until you wash your fucking hands, Murphy,” she warned him. Javi walked passed her and she quickly turned her attention to the book he had been rifling through. She could feel his eyes boring through her back, but she refused to turn to him.
“We should take this stuff to our office,” Javi said, holding up recording equipment. “It’s better than any of the shit we got.”
“Fuckin’ Pinzón’s guys have taken everything that’s useful,” Steve grumbled. “There’s nothing.” Javi sat down behind a desk and was looking around the floor.
“Look,” he said, “I think I found something that might help us.”
“Oh yeah?” Steve asked. “What’s that?” He and Ari walked over, anxious to see something useful. Javi ducked under the desk and they both leaned forward in anticipation. Javi popped up wearing an ushanka—a black fuzzy hat. Steve laughed and held up his camera to take a picture.
“Wait,” Javi said, holding up a magazine with Escobar on the cover wearing the same hat. Javi held it next to his face and tried to look stern and serious. He couldn’t hold it, and his face broke into a breathtaking smile as he laughed. Steve snapped a picture, and Ari’s heart clenched. She wanted to join their laughter, but it hurt too damn much. She loved this man with everything she had. It terrified her how much she loved him. She had never allowed herself to be this vulnerable with anyone other than her mother.
They continued to scrounge around the prison, grabbing whatever they thought would be useful—which wasn’t much. They carried their meager findings out to the car. Ari noticed Javi eyeing her.
“You took it?” He asked quietly, nodding towards Escobar’s memoir. Ari nodded.
“I…” she trailed off. “I want to look at it.” She shrugged and wouldn’t meet his eyes. She felt his warm hand squeeze her shoulder.
“I get it,” he said gently. “Nothing to be ashamed of, hermosa.” Ari just nodded again and shoved the book under her jacket in the backseat.
“Let’s get the hell outta here,” Steve grumbled as he climbed into the driver’s seat. They were flying back to Bogotá as soon as possible. There was a lot they needed to wrap up before coming back out to Medellín. Rumors about new bosses and relocating were circling the embassy. The three of them wanted to be prepared in case they had to relocate to Medellín.
Ari had some serious thinking to do.
Ari sighed and stared at the phone. They had been back in Bogotá for two days. She had been agonizing about what to do. She knew something needed to change. Now that she knew she was in love with Javi, things couldn’t just continue they way they had previously. She felt her face heat when she remembered how he had thrown her out of his place a few nights ago. She had never been more embarrassed or hurt.
“Just pick up the phone,” she murmured to herself. “Stop being a chicken shit.” She needed to make this call, but she couldn’t find the courage to do it. “Fuck it.” She picked up the phone and dialed quickly. She chewed on her lip nervously. She heard it click and sucked in a breath.
“Sandoval,” Eduardo said on the other end.
“Hi, it’s Ari,” she said softly. There was a moment of stunned silence.
“Ari,” Eduardo said, a smile in his voice. “I’m surprised to hear from you.”
“In a good way or a bad way?” She asked with a laugh.
“Good,” he assured her, “very good.”
“Whew, well that’s a relief,” she teased.
“And why am I so lucky to be getting a call from you today?” He asked.
“Well, um,” Ari said nervously, “I was wondering if…if your offer for dinner still stands?”
“Really?” He asked, in shock.
“Yes,” she said.
“Definitely,” he beamed. “Yes, I would love to take you to dinner. Are you free tonight?” Ari smiled. It felt nice to have a man so eager to see her…and not just for sex.
“Yeah, I’m free tonight,” she answered.
“Perfect,” he sighed. “I’ll pick you up at seven.”
“Looking forward to it,” she said.
“Me too,” he replied. “See you soon.” She hung up the phone and smiled. Guilt niggled at her brain. She pushed it away angrily. She had no reason to feel bad for going to dinner with Eduardo. Javier and her were not exclusive. Hell, they weren’t even dating. She’d never gone out for a romantic dinner with him. He’d never picked her up from her apartment and taken her out to a movie. They fucked. That was it. Sure, she was in love with him, but where was that getting her? Kicked out of his apartment in the middle of the night. Fuck him. She had to do this. She needed to spend time with a man that actually wanted to be with her. She needed to see what her other options were.
She glanced at the clock. She had a couple hours until Eduardo would arrive. She wanted to shower and dry her hair. She peeled herself off the couch and made her way to her bathroom to get ready.
“You did not!” Eduardo laughed. Ari had somehow been convinced to tell Eduardo the story about her partner shooting her.
“I did,” she admitted almost sheepishly. “Look, it was what needed to be done, alright?”
“Oh, I believe you,” he said, his laughter slowly dying out. “I’m just continually amazed by your…tenacity.”
“I’m taking that as a compliment,” she said with a chuckle.
“Good.” Eduardo smiled. “Because it was meant to be one.” She returned his smile and took a sip of her wine. They were sitting at a slightly upscale restaurant. Ari was glad she had decided to wear a dress tonight. Surprisingly, she was having a really good time. Eduardo was charming and intelligent and attentive. Conversation flowed easily and he made her laugh. Her stomach twisted as Javi’s face came to mind. Shit. She wasn’t going to think about him tonight. She was out on a date with a lovely man. A man that actually wanted to date her. Javier needed to stay firmly out of her head.
“So, how do you like working in Colombia?” Eduardo asked.
“It’s been good,” Ari told him. “It’s a beautiful country. My partners are dedicated and loyal. Not much more I could ask for in this line of work.”
“Your partners,” he began, “they’re interesting men, to say the least.”
“You could say that,” Ari chuckled lightly.
“Murphy,” Eduardo said, “is he still not speaking Spanish?”
“He’s getting better,” Ari assured him. “His pronunciation is shit, but it’s an improvement from when he first started.”
“And Peña,” he continued, “that man has quite the reputation.”
“Mmm,” Ari hummed in a noncommittal tone. She looked down at the table. She didn’t want to talk about Javi.
“Ariana,” he said quietly. She dragged her eyes to his face. “It’s alright. I know…I know there’s something between the two of you. It’s ok.”
“Ed—” Ari began, her chest tight in terror.
“Please, don’t try to deny it,” Eduardo cut in. “I am not judging you. I just want you to know that I know…and it’s ok.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, tears of anger—at herself—pooling in her eyes.
“You have no reason to apologize,” he said, gently taking her hand in his on top of the table.
“Yes I do,” she sniffed quietly. “I feel like I’m leading you on…”
“I am the one that pursued you, Ari,” he smiled. “I have had a hunch about Peña for awhile, and I still pursued you. Please, do not feel guilty for finally accepting my invitation to dinner.”
“Eduardo,” Ari began quietly, “you are an amazing guy…handsome, smart, charming…you’re literally the entire package.”
“But?” Eduardo said with a sad smile.
“I’m in love with him,” Ari said simply.
“He doesn’t deserve you,” Eduardo said softly.
“Probably,” Ari reluctantly agreed, “but it doesn’t change how I feel about him. Trying to pretend I don’t love him and move on isn’t fair to you or me.”
“Agreed,” Eduardo said. “So, let’s not stress about this. Let’s enjoy the rest of our dinner—as friends—and if you ever feel differently…and I’m still available, give me a call.”
“You really are a great fucking guy, you know that?” Ari said with a watery smile.
“Unfortunately for me, nice guys finish last, Ari,” he said sadly.
“You deserve someone way better than me, Eduardo,” Ari said solemnly. “Trust me on this.”
“I’m beginning to believe there is no one better than you, Ariana,” he replied quietly.
“Agree to disagree on that one,” Ari chuckled. They finished up their meal—with Ari insistent on paying her half. The conversation still flowed, and Ari believed they could still maintain a friendly working relationship.
“Thank you for a wonderful evening,” Ari said with a warm smile. They were standing outside the main door to her apartment building. She didn’t want him to walk her to her door just in case anyone was around. The last thing she needed to do was explain this night to Steve or Connie—or god forbid, Javi.
“It was my pleasure, Ari,” he said happily. “I always enjoy your company…even platonically.” His eyes glanced down to her mouth. She had put on dark red lipstick that really enhanced the shape and fullness of her mouth. “Can I make one last suggestion, before I let you go for good?”
“What?” Ari asked almost breathlessly. She had a feeling she knew where this was headed, and she was nervous.
“Can I kiss you?” He asked. Ari bit her lower lip as she contemplated her answer. She was curious…it had been a long time since she’d kissed anyone besides Javier. Would it feel the same with someone else? No one had ever made her feel the way Javi did…but it wouldn’t hurt to test it out, right? Just once?
“Yes,” she said with a nod after a moment. Eduardo stepped closer and cupped her face gently in his hands. He tilted his head and pressed his lips to hers. It was good. It was a solid, good kiss. Just the right amount of pressure, and when he lightly slipped his tongue between her lips—A+. The man was a good kisser…but it didn’t do anything for her. Her heart plummeted. While very pleasant, it didn’t light a fire in her.
She thought about how Javi would have handled this. Well, first off, he wouldn’t have asked to kiss her. He would have just done it. Ari appreciated Eduardo’s need for her consent, but she craved the way Javi took charge. Javi’s kisses sent her into a frenzy. She just couldn’t get enough of him. She sighed inwardly. Oh well. Eduardo pulled back and looked into her eyes as his thumb stroked her jaw.
“No spark?” He asked in disappointment.
“No,” Ari said. He sighed and pulled back, dropping his hands form her face.
“Me either,” Eduardo said with a shrug. “Odd…I would have sworn it would have been good between us. Maybe we do just make better friends.”
“It would appear that way,” Ari offered.
“Alright then,” Eduardo said with a definitive nod. “Now we know. This night has been enlightening.” He held out his hand to her.
“I think we can still hug,” Ari laughed. Eduardo chuckled and bent down slightly to give her a brief hug.
“Goodnight,” he said once they broke apart.
“Goodnight,” she replied. He saw her into the building before gettin back into his car. Ari smiled to herself as she walked to her door, digging her keys out of her purse. Javi’s door opened just as she approached hers.
“Ari,” he said, surprised to see her.
“Javi,” she said, avoiding his eyes.
“You look…” he trailed off as his eyes raked her from head to toe. His gaze was smoldering. Ari shifted slightly, heat pooling in her belly at his obvious interest. Her dress was black and molded to her body like a second skin. His eyes lingered on her round ass, barely covered by the fabric.
“Where, uh,” Javi cleared his throat, “where’d you go all dressed up?”
“I had a date,” she blurted out before she could stop herself.
“A date?” The horror in Javi’s voice almost made her smile. Take that, you asshole.
“Mmm hmm,” she murmured. “Well, have a good night.” She unlocked her door and went inside. She leaned against the door after closing it and smirked to herself. She hoped Javi would agonize over her date. Suddenly, a frown furrowed her brow. He was probably on his way to a brothel…he wouldn’t give a shit what she had been up to tonight. No, he was gonna go fuck away his troubles. She shook herself and refused to give in to the agonizing pain. She was going to have a drink and look through Escobar’s memoir.
She told herself it was for investigative purposes…but she knew the truth. She wanted to know more about who he was—the man, not the kingpin. Despite everything, she was curious about the man who had sired her.
Tomorrow she could begin to sort through her feelings for Javier.
Javi sat at the bar staring off into nothing. He sipped his whiskey as his thoughts strayed once more to Ari. She had looked gorgeous tonight. That dress…oh, dear god, that dress. It hugged her every curve. Her delicious tits swelled just above the neckline, and her ass looked ripe and ready to be fucked. He shifted on the bar stool, the sudden tightness in his pants uncomfortable. She had been on a date. Fuck.
Javi gulped down the rest of his drink and signaled the bartender for another. He clenched his fists as he thought about Ari out with another man. He hoped since she had come home alone—and relatively early—that the date hadn’t led to sex. He felt bile rise in his throat. He couldn’t stand the thought of someone else touching Ari…kissing her…pushing into her tight, hot little body and making her scream in pleasure. He knew he had fucked up. Kicking her out the other night had affected her much deeper than she was letting on.
It bothered him more than he liked to admit that she still wouldn’t look at him. She had not made eye contact with him once since that awful fucking night. He wished she was angry. He could handle her being pissed…but this? This he could not take. She was obviously hurt at the way he had treated her, but it was the way she almost seemed to fear him, that’s what really tore him to shreds. He wanted to fix this, but he knew he couldn’t. He would just fuck it up again. He decided to give her some space to work through what she needed to. Part of him hoped she would come to her senses and realize she deserved better than him….but really, he just wanted to see her smile again.
The next few days passed quietly. They were summoned back to the Holguín, and reluctantly flew back out to Medellín. They needed to meet Colonel Pinzón officially. They would be spending a lot more time in Medellín, and they needed to make nice with the new man in charge. Fuck, he missed Carrillo.
The awkwardness between Ari and Javier did not bleed over into their work, but she still could barely look at him. She was polite and kind as always, but she did not tease him or laugh or show any sign of enjoying her time with him. It was killing him, but still he did not push. By the time a week had passed, Javier assumed Ari had decided she was done with their arrangement. He felt his heart constrict at the realization that he would never hold her again…but he couldn’t blame her. She deserved so much more than what he offered her.
He couldn’t help but watch her as they sat in the office of Colonel Pinzón. She was so damn beautiful. She looked tired. He felt guilt gnaw at his stomach.
“As a courtesy to your government,” Colonel Pinzón drilled on, “I’m allowing you to participate in this manhunt. But…I set the limits and all decisions rest with me.” The four of them stood up and followed Pinzón out of his office. “If this condition is unacceptable, take it up with the president.”
“Of course, Colonel,” Javi said quickly, following the colonel through the building. “I hope we didn’t get off on the wrong foot.”
“Not at all,” Pinzón assured him. “Every operation needs a well defined hierarchy.” They pushed through a door and walked up a small flight of stairs. A female CNP officer stood at attention and saluted the Colonel. Javi looked back as he passed and checked her out. He noticed Ari behind him shaking her head, a slight look of disgust on her face. She had caught him checking out another woman. He quickly looked forward and swallowed down his feelings of guilt and remorse. He felt like no matter what he did, he was a disappointment to Ari. They made their way into a large room buzzy with energy. They went down another short flight of stairs into a wide open space.
“I hope this will be an adequate space for you to do your work,” Pinzón said, gesturing the the open area.
“What, you’re talking about this?” Steve asked in disbelief. “This—”
“—This is more than adequate,” Javi cut Steve off. “Gracias, coronel.” He didn’t want to piss the Colonel off and get them kicked out.
“Welcome,” Pinzón said as he walked away. The three DEA agents stood in the center of the room almost dumbfounded. There was one desk, covered in paperwork, more towards the middle of the room. Along the back side was a bunch of stacked up furniture and mountains of paper work. Javi picked up a paper off the desk and glanced at it.
“Oh, wow, this is from 1962,” he said flippantly. He tossed it onto the pile of paperwork along the wall. Steve lit up a cigarette and Ari sighed heavily.
“Might as well get started,” she said in a voice heavy with exhaustion. They rolled up their sleeves and got to work.
Over an hour later and they had made some headway. They managed to get the desk cleared and set up. Javi was currently sitting at it typing away. Ari was clearing off the desk behind him. She turned when she heard a loud scraping sound. Steve was pushing a big metal desk into the center of the room.
“Found another one?” She called out to him.
“Yeah,” Steve groaned. “It was sitting in an empty office. One of the guys said we could take it.”
“Good,” she murmured. “I’ll have this one cleared soon.”
“You can take this one, Ari,” Steve insisted. “I’ll take care of all that.” He gestured to the mess she was sorting through.
“I got it, Steve,” she said. “You did all the hard work bringing that mammoth desk in here…you reap the rewards.” They both chuckled quietly. Steve pushed the desk right in front of Javi’s. He sighed as he finally got the piece of furniture into place.
“Seriously?” Javi grunted, a cigarette hanging from his plush lips. “Directly in front of me? I don’t spend enough time looking at your face?” Steve dropped two big file boxes on top of the desks, effectively blocking Javi’s view of him. Ari shook her head and laughed quietly. They were like children sometimes.
“That’s better,” Javi grumbled.
“Hay una muchacha en la línea tres,”(There’s a girl on line three) Trujillo called out from behind Steve. His desk was situated in the same room as them, along the wall opposite the mess Ari was cleaning up. “Quiere hablar con un americano.” (She wants to talk to an American) Steve sat down heavily at his desk, ignoring Trujillo. Ari smirked. She knew Steve understood him. His Spanish was improving—mostly thanks to her tutoring him—but he refused to let any of the Colombians know. They had decided that it worked to their advantage. The Colombians tended to talk more freely in front of him since they didn’t think he could understand them.
“Nothing?” Trujillo sighed. “You picked up on the ‘American’ part, right?” Steve continued to ignore him. “Murphy! ¿Qué pasa, compadre?”
“Chúpamela, por favor,”(Suck my dick, please) Steve called out, flicking him off. Trujillo smiled and Javi walked over to answer the call.
“La DEA, agente Peña,” Javi breathed into the phone. He listened for a moment. “¿Ah, sí? ¿A cuál?” (Oh, yeah? Which one?) His brow furrowed lightly as the girl on the other end spoke. “Sí, hay una recompensa. ¿Cuál es tu información, señorita? ¿De quién está hablando?”(Yes, there’s a reward. What’s your information, miss? Who are you talking about?) Suddenly Javi sat up straighter. He looked to Steve and Ari and snapped his fingers. Ari hated when he did that, but the next words out of his mouth chased away any irritation. “¿La Quica? ¿Usted conoce a La Quica?”(You know La Quica?) Steve and Ari rushed over to Javi’s side. “Usted trabaja ahí? ¿Hace cuánto fue eso? Bueno, lo investigamos.” (Do you work there? How long ago was this? Alright, we’ll look into it.) Javi hung up the phone.
“You think it’s legit?” Steve asked.
“Let’s find out,” Javi said excitedly.
“Where is he?” Ari asked.
“Don’t know right now,” Javi answered. “The girl said he came by a brothel earlier and left. Said he’d be back in a few hours. We need to hurry.”
“Another brothel?” Ari sighed. “Seriously, do these guys do anything other than fuck?”
“Sell cocaine and kill people,” Steve offered unhelpfully. Ari snorted quietly as the three of them rushed to Pinzón’s office.
“How credible is your source?” Pinzón asked them. Steve was sitting in front of his desk while Ari and Javi stood.
“It was an unsolicited phone call,” Javi told him. “She asked to speak to an American. We would need a couple of cars and a few men.” Javi made his way around the second chair. He glanced at Ari who nodded for him to take it. He sat down and watched the colonel.
“Well, my men are either busy here or outside in the street,” Pinzón replied. “And I’m not relocating men to chase down bullshit tips.”
“If this turns out not to be bullshit, La Quica could give us Pablo,” Steve urged.
“So go,” Pinzón said. “Go ahead. Since when do you need an excuse to go to a whorehouse?” He turned his head to look pointedly at Javi. Anger flared in Javi’s chest. He quickly bit back the nasty remark he wanted to spout off and looked down into his lap. He took a breath and shook his head slightly. His body heated with shame. He hated having his escapades constantly thrown in his face…especially in front of Ari. She knew the type of man he was, but he hated how often she was reminded. He lifted his head and met the colonel’s eyes.
“Valdría la pena investigarlo, coronel,”(It would be worth investigating, Colonel) Javi said quietly. “No estamos pidiendo mucho.” (We’re not asking for a lot.) Pinzón smirked and looked around at the three of them.
“One vehicle, three men,” he conceded.
“Gracias,” Javi said. The three of them practically bolted out of the office.
Within minutes they had Trujillo and two other men ready to go. They were looking over aerial photos, trying to figure out their plan of attack.
“Alleys run along the house here,” Javi said, marking on the photo, “here. We’ll keep the other car waiting around back.”
“¿Seguro no es una trampa?”(You sure it’s not a trap?) Trujillo asked him.
“No estoy seguro de nada,”(I’m not sure of anything) Javi responded quietly. Their sat phone started to ring and Steve grabbed it.
“Murphy,” he grunted. He listened for a moment and then whispered, “I’m just in the middle of something. Let me call you right back.” He paused and a look of worry passed over his face. “You’re where?” He held his hand up to Javi and walked to the side to take the call.
“What’s that about?” Trujillo asked.
“No idea,” Javi shrugged. They continued to plan when suddenly Steve’s voice reached them.
“Connie, please,” he pleaded. “We can talk about this. Do not get on that plane. Wait, ok?” Javi and Ari’s eyes shot to Steve. He hung up the phone and walked back over to them.
“She’s at the airport,” Steve said, slightly panicked.
“Go,” Javi urged him.
“I’m sorry,” Steve apologized. “I gotta go. Guys, sorry.”
“It’s fine, Steve,” Ari assured him. He rushed out, leaving La Quica to them.
“Alright,” Javi said. “Let’s get this fucker.”
Less than an hour after they received their approval from Pinzón, they were driving to the brothel. Trujillo was in the back with Ari and Javi, while the other two men were in the front.
“Aquí a la derecha,”(Right there, to the right.) Javi told the driver. “Es la próxima derecha.”(It’s the next right.)
“Cómo nos conocemos la zona, ¿no, Peñita?”(Know the area well, don’t you, Peña?) Trujillo teased. Javi clenched his fist in aggravation.
“Sí, sí, sí,” he said, exasperated. “Just fuckin’ drive.” He felt Ari lightly grip his clenched fist, offering a small reassurance. He stared down at her small hand and swallowed audibly. It felt like forever since she had touched him.
“Ignore them,” she whispered. He nodded once, and she removed her hand. They focused back on the road. Javi pulled his gun out from his waistband and cocked it as the car pulled up in the alley.
“Ahí está el taxi,”(There’s the taxi.) Javi told them. “Estaciona a la izquierda, ahí.”(Park on the left, there.) There were a ton of cars parked along each side of the road. They squeezed between two.
“Ari, you wait here,” Javi told her as he tucked the gun back in his belt.
“What?” She exclaimed, her brow furrowed in annoyance.
“I don’t want to take the chance that they recognize you before we get too close,” he explained.
“Oh, alright,” she sighed. She sat back against the seat in exasperation. He could see on her face how much she hated that she couldn’t go with him.
“You’ll be chasing them down soon enough,” he said with a grin. He turned to the other men. “Muy bien. Esperen aquí.” (Alright. Wait for me here.) He got out of the car and casually strode up the street. He got about halfway to the cab when the driver darted out and ran into the brothel.
“Ari! Trujillo!” Javi shouted.
“¡Dé la vuelta!” (Go around!) Trujillo shouted to the other two men. Ari and Trujillo burst from the car and took off after Javi. The other two followed orders and circled the van around the building. Ari and Trujillo followed Javi into the brothel. The door was barred, costing them precious time. They finally got in, guns drawn and swept through the brothel. The girls were all peeking out of their rooms, terrified. One woman with a blue fringed shirt caught Javi’s gaze and moved her eyes upwards, pointing out where the men had gone. Javi briefly wondered if she had been the one to call it in.
He glanced up and saw La Quica and the driver climbing onto the roof. The three of them quickly tucked their guns in their waistbands and hurried up after the two men. They followed them down and out onto the next street. The van caught up to them and one of the men jumped out to join them. Javi stopped them as the reached the entrance to an open market. He signaled for them all to split up.
They moved through the market quickly and quietly. Javi made it to the center and glanced around, eyeing the other three—all empty handed. Someone grabbed his shoulder and he turned quickly, his heart racing. It was a female vendor.
“No busque más, este es el mejor sitio para comer,”(Stop looking, this is the best place to eat.) she said with a smile. Javi was sweaty and panting, and completely frustrated. He stepped away from the woman and looked around once more. How the hell had they gotten away again?
“Fuck,” he whispered, angrily. “Fuck!” Ari and Trujillo made their way over to him.
“We were so fucking close,” Ari swore quietly.
“Next time,” Trujillo said. “Let’s get outta here.” He turned and walked out, taking the other man with him. Once they were gone, Javi turned to Ari. She was watching him closely. Javi felt self conscious all of a sudden. Having Ari’s full attention on him after more than a week of no interaction was unsettling. She seemed to be considering something. Finally she spoke up.
“Want to come over tonight?” She asked him. Javier was taken aback. He had not expected to be welcomed back to her bed.
“Uh, sure,” Javi said cautiously.
“Great,” she said with a smile. She glanced behind her to make sure the others were gone. Then she stood up on her tip toes and gently grabbed the back of Javi’s neck to bring his lips down to hers in a devastating kiss. He moaned into her mouth. Fuck, he had missed her. She broke away and smiled at him once more.
“Let’s go,” she murmured. He watched her as she walked back to the van that had just pulled up to the entrance. She slid into the back seat, waiting patiently for Javier. She glanced over and saw him still standing there in shock. She grinned and waved him over. He shook himself and quickly got into the van. He was surprised by her actions. He had assumed they were over. He didn’t know how he got this fucking lucky, but he wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. It had been over a week since he’d been inside her, and that was a goddamn lifetime. He shifted to alleviate the growing bulge in his jeans.
He couldn’t wait to get back to Bogotá. They needed to go to the Holguín and file a report, then it was back to the embassy. From there he would grab Ari, take her back to his apartment, and fuck her until the sun came up.
A couple hours later they were finally on their way back to the apartment. Ari couldn’t stop smirking every time she looked at Javi. He was practically salivating. Good to know he craved her just as much as she craved him. This power play was going to her a head a bit. She always felt so untethered and unsure around Javi…it felt nice to be the one holding all the cards this time.
She had done a lot of thinking over the week—Especially after her date with Eduardo. She had come to the conclusion that she just couldn’t quit Javier Peña. But if she was going to make this work, she needed to do it on her terms. Well, his terms, but her way. They would fuck, yes, but she would never ask to stay at his place or for him to stay at hers ever again. And she decided, she wouldn’t limit herself to him for her sexual needs. If he was busy fucking someone else, and she had an itch to scratch, she’d find someone for the night—only if it felt right and they understood it was a one night thing. She knew it would never be as good, but she couldn’t wait around for Javier forever. Even if she never slept with anyone else, she wanted Javi to assume she was. Javier was it for her—she knew it in her heart, she would never love another man as much as she loved him. So, she would play the long game. She knew Javi had feelings for her…she just had to give him time and help showhim.
She was going to give Javier exactly what he wanted. And based off what she had witnessed previously…he would not like getting exactly what he wanted. Was it manipulative? Yes…but she didn’t care. She wouldn’t go down without a fight. They pulled into the parking garage at the apartment, and Javi practically flew out of the Jeep in his hurry to get to her. She laughed as he grabbed her and hauled her against his chest.
“Eager, are we?” She teased.
“You’re damn right I am,” he groaned. “I haven’t had sex in over a week, baby.” Ari pushed back slightly so she could look into his eyes.
“What?” She asked, shocked.
“What?” He parroted, already dazed being so close to her intoxicating scent.
“You haven’t had sex in over a week?” She asked.
“Yeah,” he answered, chasing her mouth, trying desperately to capture her lips.
“When was the last time you had sex?” She pushed.
“The night Escobar escaped prison,” he murmured, his large hand grasping the hair and the back of her head.
“You haven’t slept with anyone this week?” The shock in her voice must have registered in his foggy brain. He stopped trying to kiss her and looked into her eyes.
“No one since you,” he clarified. Ari swallowed thickly, not sure what to think of his little revelation. She decided to push it aside for later. She couldn’t read too much into it. Her heart was already at risk of being shattered…she didn’t need to add stupid hope to the mix.
“You poor baby,” she cooed. “I guess I should take good care of you tonight, then.”
“Please,” he groaned and finally kissed her. He pressed her up against the car and devoured her mouth.
“Let’s get inside,” Ari whispered against his lips when they finally came up for air. Javi grabbed her hand and practically dragged her to his apartment. Once they were inside he pressed her up against the closed door and kissed her deeply. She moaned as she rubbed her tongue against his. He broke contact just long enough to pull her shirt over her head. His fingers fumbled with her bra hook, desperate to get to her bare skin. He groaned as his hands finally cupped her breasts, his thumbs rubbing circles over her tight nipples.
He bent down and sucked one into his mouth. He bit down lightly. Ari gasped and clutched the back of his head. He released her nipple and licked it gently, soothing the slight burn.
“Fuck, Javi,” she moaned softly. She gripped the front of his shirt and pulled, ripping the buttons off. She pushed it over his shoulders and down his arms. Javi let the ruined shirt float to the floor. Ari quickly worked the button of his jeans and pulled down the zipper. She sank down to her knees and tried to pull his pants down.
“I don’t think so, hermosa,” Javi said in a gravelly voice. He grabbed her forearms and pulled her back up to standing.
“What?” Ari asked in surprise.
“It’s been too damn long,” Javi explained. “If my cock goes anywhere near your mouth, I won’t last long. I don’t wanna come down your throat, Ari. I wanna come deep inside your perfect pussy.” Ari moaned and kissed him again. Javi grabbed her ass and hoisted her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist. They continued to kiss as he walked them into his bedroom. Javi dropped her down in the center of the bed and practically collapsed on top of her. She giggled when they landed.
“Fuck, I missed that,” Javi murmured.
“What?” Ari asked with a smile.
“Your laugh,” he said quietly. Ari sobered up immediately. She caressed the side of his face.
“I just needed some time,” she whispered.
“I know, baby,” he replied softly. “I’m sorry. I don’t fucking deserve you.”
“Probably,” Ari smiled, “but this is where I want to be tonight…so let’s put this week behind us, and enjoy it, alright?”
“Anything you want, hermosa,” Javi agreed. He slid down her body—pausing to lick her nipples on the way down—and pulled her jeans and panties off. Ari sat up and pulled his pants down. Javi kicked them off and pushed her back onto the bed. He lay on top of her and kissed her deeply. When he started to move down her body, Ari pushed him up slightly and flipped him onto his back. She straddled him, her hands splayed across his chest.
“What’re you doing, baby?” He asked her with a smirk.
“I wanna ride you,” she answered.
“Let me taste you,” Javi whined.
“Later,” she murmured and grasped his hard cock in her hand. “I need you inside me.” She lined him up and pushed down, sheathing him in one go. She hissed at the stretch. The last week had felt like an eternity. It was incredible to feel him filling her once again.
“You feel so fucking good,” Javi groaned. His big hands grasped her hips tight. “Ride me, baby.” Ari pushed up and slid back down. They moaned in unison. It always felt so right, so perfect, every time they joined together like this. Ari’s small hands spread out on his broad chest. She used it as leverage to pump herself up and down on him. After a few minutes they both became frantic, desperately seeking release. His hands gripped her hips tighter—lifting her and then slamming her back down. His hips thrust up against her, causing his pelvic bone to rub against her clit. She was so close.
“Fuck, fuck,” Ari panted. Javi released one of her hips to circle her clit with his thumb. That was all it took to hurtle Ari over the edge. She threw her head back and screamed as her orgasm crashed into her. Her pussy clamped tight around Javi and he shouted out her name as he came inside her. She collapsed against his chest. They were covered in sweat and out of breath.
“That was fast,” Ari laughed.
“Huh?” Javi said, still dazed.
“That was fast,” she repeated. “I don’t think we’ve ever finished that quickly.”
“Sorry,hermosa,” he sighed. “I was too damn pent up. I’ll last longer on round two.”
“I’m not upset, Javi,” she laughed. “I came too, in case you didn’t notice.”
“Oh, I fucking noticed,” he growled. “Your pussy clamped around my dick so tight, I couldn’t stop myself from coming.” Ari laughed softly against his chest. Javi’s arms came up around her and held her tight to his body. She sighed happily.
“Fuck, I needed that,” Javi said.
“Me too,” she agreed. “This has been a long ass week.”
“Yeah,” Javi said. There was something in his voice, and she couldn’t figure out what it was. He shifted underneath her nervously. “You, uh…have you seen that guy again?”
“What guy?” Ari asked, propping her chin on her hand so she look Javi in the eye. He brushed a piece of hair behind her ear, and gently cupped her face. He really needed to stop with all the sweetness. It was messing with her resolve.
“The guy you went on a date with the other night,” Javi clarified.
“Oh, him,” Ari said. She chewed her lip. Javi’s thumb plucked it out from between her teeth. “No, I haven’t seen him again.”
“Are you going to?” He asked. She could see he was trying to be casual, but there was a fire in his eyes he could not hide.
“Probably not,” Ari answered honestly.
“Why?” Javi asked. She shrugged slightly.
“Doesn’t feel right to lead him on,” she replied. “The chemistry just wasn’t there. No need to waste our time.”
“No chemistry, huh?” Javi smirked.
“None,” she said, and returned his smile.
“Well, that’s not a problem for us, now is it?” Javi said.
“No, it’s not,” Ari agreed. He rubbed his thumb along her lower lip. “What’re you thinking?”
“I’m thinking when I catch my breath,” Javi told her, “I’m gonna lick my cum outta your pussy until you scream.”
“Mmm,” Ari moaned. “I like the sound of that.”
An hour later, Javi had made good on his promise, as well as fucked her hard into the mattress. He was enjoying his postcoital cigarette as Ari got dressed. He watched her silently, wondering what she was doing. Once she was fully dressed she sauntered over to his side of the bed. She leaned over and kissed him.
“Thanks for tonight,” she whispered against his lips. She stood up and turned to leave. “See you tomorrow!” She called out. He heard the front door shut. What the fuck? Did she seriously just walk out? He didn’t want her to go—not yet, at least. He was hoping they could go another round—or two—before they called it quits for the night. Ari had never been the one to initiate the leaving. He frowned and stubbed out his cigarette. This was exactly how he wanted it to be. No drama, just sex. So, why was he upset? Before he could think too deeply on it, his phone rang.
“Peña,” he answered.
“Hey, Jav,” Steve said on the other end of the line, “I, uh, I need your help.”
Warnings: mentions of death, mentions of torture, mentions of drug trafficking, mentions of sexism, mention of communism, mentions of food, smoking, alcohol, cussing. Under no circumstances can you copy, plagiarize, steal my work, or post it somewhere else!
Notes: As always, apologies for taking so long to update. This chapter’s lighter than the previous ones, but I hope y’all still enjoy it. If you wish to be added to or removed from my taglist, my DMs and ask box are open.
Obscurefunfact: sometimes, the DEA experience involved sneaking barefoot out of a parking lot, at 1 a.m. Completely sober, too. Holding her shoes in one hand and her lit cigarette in the other, Magnussen sauntered towards her apartment building, accompanied by the sound of crickets. Against her better judgement, she stopped near a streetlamp to finish her cigarette. Bugs had flown around the top, drawn to its light. The current state of affairs did have a reasonable explanation. Barely two hours into her six-hour drive from Mexico City to Guadalajara, Magnussen’s feet had begun to hurt, so she had taken off her heels. In hindsight, it had been a shitty decision. The temperature had dropped significantly – causing goosebumps to erupt all over her skin – and the rough surface of the sidewalk underneath her feet created a slight discomfort. Magnussen took a drag from her cigarette, relishing in the view. The night sky served as a canvas for the shy, gleaming stars. A couple of blocks away, a dog barked as a car quietly drove by.
First of all, how dare you? You have no right to be this talented. I come back to the site after a long week and you bless me with a chapter of this fic?
Mwah.
Rookie musing about her time with Kiki always makes my heart clench. It’s deeply ironic how Walt views her as some mean but sassy intruder to his operation, yet she’s the only one who knew Kiki AS A PERSON and isn’t using him as some symbolic prop.
Guadalupe seems like she’d make a great friend but I wonder how Magnussen will balance having a personal life, if she even attempts to.
It’s good she has a confidante in Maia, but if she’s so exhausted mentally in the early stages, I wonder how the more intense stuff will hit her.
CHARACTER/PAIRING: Modern!Carrillo x Army!OC (slowburn?)
WARNINGS:swearing, military talk/slang. Carrillo will not be narcos accurate as this is an AU. Some OC x OC. awkwardly written moments, flippy floppy points of view. OC’s are back baby. Sexaul tones/actions. Swapping between metric and imperial units lol
AUTHORS NOTE: holy hecka team im sorry for how long this took for me to get out, honestly this is just a whole heap of word vomit, barely any plot lol, Ash and Henry are not related so don’t worry about anything weird going on, i swear i have an addiction to the coffee cup (IYKYK), might have accidentally repeated a scene from a previous chapter lol. hope y'all enjoy
The week continued without a hitch, while the tension between the two officers continued to grow, the awkwardness that occurred after their last incident never returned, a somewhat confusing signal that to Ash meant that the relationship between the two of them had changed for the better, at least that’s what she predicted. She had lost count of the amount of times her mind had wandered back to the steamy moment in the kitchen,that and she often woke from her dreams wound up and teetering on the edge of release. She almost wished she had had the guts to push the bounds of the relationship and defile the kitchen that day, but she was sure that with the ever mounting tension between them that one day her wish might just come true
The outside loop of the property had become her best and latest distraction. Every morning she woke at the crack of dawn to run at least a few laps of her personally carved out track, exhausting both mind and body and taking her thoughts off the hunky officer that she shared a house with. While the runs were a peaceful place to clear her mind she couldn’t deny that her thoughts would reflect on the small moments shared between herself and her commanding officer since their jarring encounter in the kitchen. From the subtle brush of his hand against hers when she’d deliver him one of his many coffees throughout the day, to the soft wandering touch of his fingers along her hip as he made his way round her in the kitchen to grab something, each little thing seemed to have a more than professional meaning to the young officer now, it was as if there was an unspoken agreement that a line had been crossed, but neither one of them was ready to push the boundary to the extent they had once before, something that both frustrated and baffled her to no end.
It was times like now, as she was running meters deep in the tree line, dodging branch after branch, that she wished she had the courage to go back in the gym. Her body still had tremors whenever she thought of working out, it seemed, much to her dismay, that the assault many weeks ago in the base gym had scared her to her core, an upsetting thought at that.
Shaking herself from her thoughts Ash urged her legs to move faster, running at a speed akin to her level before the assault, many things were taken from her that day, the biggest loss she found was her fitness. There was nothing Ash loved more than working her body to the point of exertion and then pushing it just that little bit further, now she was lucky to even get half of her usual routine in before she was crouched in the grass hurling up whatever was in her stomach, or clutching her side that was sparking in varying degrees of pain depending on the day.
Head spinning and stomach clenching she made her way back to the house at a moderate speed, only slowing when she had to key in her code to the front door to make her way inside. She made quick work of showering and getting ready for the day before heading to the kitchen to put a pot of coffee on and wait for the Colonel to get up for his day, something that was now a comforting routine for her. It seemed, like most mornings, that Ash would not be waiting long for her commanding officer to make an appearance from his office.
It was as if the smell of coffee brought the aforementioned man from his room, as a mere few moments after the first cup was poured he graced Ash with his presence. The joys of living away from the rules and regulations of base and being the commanding officer of his own unit meant that the dress standards of a regular operation did not apply for the currently unnamed task force he had in play. While ranks and marks of respect were still very much ingrained in the team, albeit questionably with the junior officer currently in his presence, the standards he once held so high were relaxed in this environment. The states of dress were not complete uniform or daily working rigs, but instead were that of an office rig. While their boots were still polished to the highest of standards and their pants ironed pristinely their working shirts were foregone and replaced with that of a dark green t-shirt with the insignia of their respective ranks printed on the right side of their chest and ‘army’ printed on the left side of their chest.
While many of the force would remark that every soldier looked their best in the ceremonial dress uniform above all else; Ash would say that she much preferred this look on the Colonel. While he still carried the grace and posture of a man who earned his rank it was nice to see him in a seemingly more relaxed state, although Ash was sure that would change when the rest of the team arrived and their sanctity of peace would be interrupted when the work actually came rolling in.
She greeted him with a warm smile, holding his fresh cup of coffee out towards him, while her traitorous mind briefly wandered back to the way he had pressed her against the bench and lit the spark to the now raging fire within her days ago. Ash could not conceal the small delighted shiver that wracked her body when his hand briefly covered her own while he procured his cup, nor could she deny the rush of heat that trickled out from where their bodies touched to where she craved it most. She might have thought it embarrassing, if not for the expression on Carrillo’s face which could only be described as a look of pure unadulterated primal desire that he was so obviously trying to suppress.
They worked together in comfortable silence, both knew the routine for breakfast like the back of their hands by now, not much had changed since they had first stepped foot in the house nearly five weeks ago, yes Ash had finally healed and yes there was some odd relationship escalating between the two of them, but nothing felt more right to her than standing side by side with the notorious Colonel Carrillo cooking breakfast and stealing fleeting lust filled glances at him when she was positive she wouldn’t get caught, despite secretly hoping she would.
Ash was first to finish breakfast which was not an unusual feat, whether it from eating ration packs and questionable food for weeks on end in training or just due to the fact that the food Carrillo cooked was some of the best she’d ever had, there was never a meal where food was left on her plate; hungry or not the food was always demolished, his cooking was just that good. Ash gathered her plate and started on the clean up, it was in how she was raised that the cook never did the washing up so with that she never allowed the handsome Colonel help out once he was finished, something he used to protest but now just brushed off with a thankful smile before he grabbed what was left of his coffee and left to his office without a trace.
This morning however went a little bit differently from the rest. Instead of standing from his chair to take his leave Carrillo rounded the bench to stand opposite Ash, while there was maybe a few feet of space between them she was now hyper aware of his presence. If he were to step just that little bit closer to her she could perhaps throw caution to the wind and enact her deepest fantasy; determining how tight of a grasp he really had on that control of his. As if sensing her thoughts the Colonel took a step closer to her. For a moment she dared not breathe, least that be a give away to what she was really feeling, her heart was beating in an erratic melody inside her chest, threatening to burst out and proclaim its desires to the man in question.
Ash jumped when a hand came to rest on the small of her back, it being the last thing she had expected to happen. The searing heat of his palm seeped through the thin layer of her shirt and burrowed deep within her muscles relaxing her more than she’d care to admit. She shot him a wide eyed questioning glance as he settled against her side, a raised brow and a brief half smile was all she got in return as he took a sip of what was left of the coffee in his right hand.
Ash tried to act nonchalant but internally she was battling her thoughts, she was unable to determine if there was some ulterior motive behind his actions or if he was genuinely interested in her but if the rumour mill was anything to go by, he was not the kind of man to fuck around with someone for a selfish reason. Ash just wished there was a way where she could get some kind of definitive reaction from him so she could finally sus out his true motive, what reaction she wanted she wasn’t quite sure but anything was better than their subtle touches and nearly there encounters.
So lost in the mess that was her own thoughts Ash failed to recognise the almost pained thoughtful look on the officers’ face before he closed the rather small gap that was already between them, their bodies now seamlessly slotted against each other in a way that was intimate in ways it shouldn’t be, but craved secretly by the both of them. He was testing boundaries he wasn’t quite sure still even existed between them, he was just far too cautious to step a foot in the wrong direction and make the younger officer uncomfortable, he needed her on the team more than he needed her to be his; at least that’s what he told himself.
Ash did not flinch nor shy away from the comforting weight of him against her side, not even when his hand lifted from its welcomed position on her lower back so he could reach around her left side to grab at the coffee pot. It was a move that made Ash want to so desperately cuddle up into his side while his arm was around her like that, there was just something about the quiet confidence and deliberate softness of his actions that drew her in more each day. With a calculated movement he drew his arm back towards himself, stepping briefly away from her to finish pouring his now fresh cup of coffee before once again reaching behind her to replace the glass pot back to its original spot.
Ash felt rather than heard him turn around to lean his back against the bench, she had refocused herself onto the task at hand to not let herself get carried away with the ‘what ifs’ and ‘maybes’ behind his actions. He was a man of very few words but the intent and weight behind his actions was always methodical and intentional, that was perhaps the only thing that Ash could rely on to find some truth behind his actions. She could feel his eyes on her the entire time she was washing the dishes, the heat of his eyes travelled the length of her body multiple times, stopping in the odd place here and there before continuing on their path. It was now as she was finishing up the final few utensils that she felt his eyes on her face, she felt her face heat up at the thought, no doubt blushing a deep shade if the small huff of amusement from her right was anything to go by.
Ash didn’t glance his way until she felt a few short taps against her hip, when she did glance his way she nearly choked on her own spit. His feet were outstretched with one ridiculously glassy boot hooked over the other, accentuating the length of his legs and showing just how well he filled out the fatigues, in more than one place. His hips were resting against the edge of the bench with his left palm flat on the countertop, coffee cup discarded just a few centimeters away. The way his arm bent accentuated the unbridled strength beneath the skin that was toned from all those years of vigorous work. She was unsure how a man could look so intimidating yet enticing at the same time, all she knew was that if she was given the chance she would let this man further into her life in a heartbeat. When her eyes finally made their way to his face she was met with a smirk and an amused glint in his eye, there was absolutely no denying she had been caught checking him out, but at this point she was beyond hiding it. In the half second she took to admire his face he was already speaking, though she never heard a word of what was said because she was too caught up in the rich honeyed colour of his eyes. It was only when he tapped her hip once more than she snapped out of her trance.
“Ash” he spoke softly, the tone commanding yet captivating, drawing her in, “I’ll be in my officer working on posting forms for the team if you need me..” he trailed off for a moment, seemingly deep in thought before adding “for anything, anything at all” with a flirtatious smirk and a well timed wink. He grabbed his cup off the counter before strutting off in the direction of his office, leaving a stunned wordless Ash standing in the kitchen mouth agape and staring in his direction.
“God do I need you. In my bed. Naked.Preferably” Ash muttered under her breath, silently thanking the gods that the man the comment was directed at had already departed leaving her to run her mouth uncontrollably, like she tended to do around the Colonel. Taking a shaky breath and picking up the dishes to place them away in their respectful places Ash felt her mind wander. There were many a time she had woken from dreams of being pressed against the kitchen counter or his desk while he was balls deep inside her whispering sweet nothings in her ears, but now these little flirty moments were making her want to act on the situations, no matter how unprofessional that may be. She stood up straight from putting a cup away under the counter and was struck with a wave of dizziness, suddenly wary she made her way to the couch lowering herself slowly before closing her eyes to let the room settle. More tired than she though she was she felt herself drift off slowly, this time not fighting it, she definitely needed the rest.
—-
The Colonel had to admit to himself that he was getting more and more worked up around the stubborn young officer he resided with. Whether it from her lust filled glances she threw his way when she thought he wasn’t looking, to the subtle fleeting touch she would grant him when handing him files or a new cup of coffee. Each and every little touch and smile she threw his way was getting under his skin, and as much as he prided himself on control and professionalism, he wasn’t sure how much longer each was gonna last around her. There was just something about her that drew him in and made him want to throw out the years of by the book work he had done just for what could be the most rewarding relationship he would ever have.
He had left the kitchen warm all over from her touch, even the briefest brush against her side had been enough to heighten the ever mounting feelings he had for the girl, lust or otherwise. Deciding that doing paperwork in such a worked up state would only serve to make him more frustrated he decided that a workout in the home gym was exactly what he needed, it had already been a few days since his last workout and after cooping himself in his office it was definitely what he needed. As he made his way from his room intent on making it to the gym unnoticed his attention was drawn elsewhere. A soft sleepy sound came from the couch, too quiet for him to hear at this distance so he made slow quiet steps closer, not wanting to make a noise and accidentally wake the sleeping soldier who most definitely needed the rest.
Creeping closer to the noise just might has been his downfall, for when he got closer he noticed the frazzled state the girl was in. she was sweating and rolling round on the couch, seemingly uncomfortable, but just as he went to wake her. He froze. What he heard made his heart race, stomach dip and shorts become uncomfortably tight. The quietly moaned “Carrillo. Sir, please. Harder’’ that escaped the sleeping girls’ mouth might have been the sweetest sound he’d heard his whole life. He let out a slow drawn out breath in an attempt to recenter himself, if anyone asked if he was affected by the words that tumbled out her mouth he would deny it at all cost, but his physical reaction to such words was something he couldn’t hide. Grunting lowly as he readjusted himself in his shorts he knew he needed to leave the room, the gym was now calling his name, as was the young officer on the couch before him, but that was a thought he needed to expel from his brain. He spun on his heel and headed for the gym, jamming his headphones in his ears and selecting one of the many pre-made workout playlists he had saved, he needed to focus on something other than the sweet sounds that fell from Ash’s mouth and the very prominent erection he currently had. Losing himself in a workout was the only way he knew how, so thats exactly what he did.
——–
Ash was pretty sure she was stuck in a dream loop when the sounds of her dreams were suddenly plaguing her reality. Muted grunts and groans were echoing throughout the house, bouncing from one wall to the next and sending delighted shivers down her spine and a flurry heat straight to her core. She sat up abruptly, taking in her surroundings, there was only one or two places noises like those belonged, the gym or the bedroom, and given Carrillo’s bedroom door was wide open and she could see that the room was empty it clued her in to the fact that he was in the gym. The sudden bombardment of impure thoughts that clouded her now very awake brain were distracting to say the least, how often did one wake from a dream like she just encountered only for the exact scenario to practically be playing out in reality, whatever force was egging her on really knew how to play on her desires.
Ash pushed up off the couch and wandered towards the gym on shaky legs, whether from the residual gratifying feelings of her dream or the current overwhelming sounds coming from the direction she was heading, she knew she had to get a grip on her feelings before she did something that could be considered dangerous. If Ash didn’t know there was a gym in their current residence she was sure there would be a string of jealousy coursing through her veins right now, the varying depths of the grunt and groans were a melody to her ears, ones she wish she could hear in another kind of physical situation. When she reached the open archway of the gym it was like all the air was sucked from her lungs, the sight before her like a devious punch to the gut.
From where she was standing she had the utmost perfect view of the most virile man she’d ever seen. Drenched in a layer of sweat and huffing out the occasional grunt was Carrillo, delectably shirtless allowing Ash to drool at the tantalizing display of raw strength as the muscles bunched and twisted under his skin. There was no man on earth that could make bench pressing two hundred pounds look as easy as the Colonel did, the bulge of his biceps and bunch of his pecs as he brought the bar down had Ash subconsciously squeezing her legs together at the feelings it invoked in her, no man had the right to be that enticing, neither did the veins in his arms, which somehow seemed to become more prominent after each pass of the bar. Ash was glad for the fact she was leaning against a door frame for she was sure she would have either been on the floor or mounting the man before her if that was not the case.
Ash only knew she had been staring too long when the room suddenly went quiet, so far in a hormone filled trace she had failed to notice her commanding officer stop exercising for a moment and sit up and watch her from his position. She felt the warm caress of his eyes take in her form from across the room, body heating further when she watched his tongue dart out across his lip before he delivered her a mind shattering smirk that made her knees weak and her pussy weaker. She watched as he stood from the bench, smirk still plastered on his face, and made his way in her direction, stopping short a mere few feet away.
From this close Ash was able to watch entranced as a few drops of sweat trailed down from his temple and along the curve of his jaw before dripping onto his chest, flowing over the curved expanse of his pecs and further down his perfectly toned abdomen to the waistband of his shorts. Shamefully, or maybe not, she let her eyes travel just that tad bit lower, barely concealing an unintentional moan of her own as the lasting effects of her dream combined with the tempting god of a man standing before her. Swallowing down the sounds that so desperately were trying to escape her throat she tilted her head back to meet the polished amber eyes of the walking heroine that was Carrillo. The richness of his eyes had been engulfed by the lust blown soulless depth of his pupils which were no doubt a positive reflection of her own enamoured gaze.
They stood there staring at each other for what seemed like an eternity before he finally broke the silence with words that might just haunt her for the rest of her days, “I couldn’t help but overhear, nice dream there was it Ashy” he questioned with an all knowing gaze, a small jolt of pride flowing through him when he realised he had her perfectly pinned down by his words. He watched bemused as multiple emotions crossed the face of the woman before him, her face flushed as she tried to find the appropriate way to address what he had said, but instead she just stood there for a moment gaping like a fish, he almost wanted to make a comment about her using her mouth for something else but decided his previous comment was torture enough.
“Sir, I…, oh my god…” she trailed off, turning to face slightly away from him in an attempt to hide her face, even though she knew he’d already caught her expression, it would be hard not to this close. She had never felt so simultaneously embarrassed yet turned on by a situation, damn him and his stupidly handsome face. Luckily for her it seemed that Carrillo had had enough with his teasing for now as he turned away to move to the open space in the gym, doing a few deliberately slow stretches to catch her eye, before starting on what she guessed was a core workout, not that he needed it from his figure. Frustrated both mentally and physically Ash decided that she too should crack on with a workout to try and let out her tension in a way that didn’t involve jumping the bones of the only other person she lived with and further complicating the already questionable situation they had placed themselves in.
She made her way towards the boxing bag hanging in the corner, stopping to sit down on a lone chair to untie and remove her boots and socks and roll up her pants to a more practical level, she debated briefly on taking off her shirt to workout in just her bra and pants but thought against adding more fuel to the already roaring fire between the two of them. She wrapped her hands with a practiced ease, eyes wandering over to the other side of the room to admire the view while she worked autonomously. It was like the universe was playing a cruel joke on her today as she watched the Colonel move gracefully from situps in to pushups, she could only imagine herself underneath him as he powered through the pushups like they were nothing, her mind, ever the traitor, briefly flashed back to the time she was once underneath him while he was in a similar position, oh how she now wished that towel of his had just slipped off and that damn phone hadn’t rang that day, although she was sure that moment had kickstarted whatever was now lingering between them.
Finished with wrapping her hands and quietly admiring the shirtless hunk across the room Ash got up and began stretching out her muscles, it had been a while since she had done anything more than run around the edge of the property, so a full body workout such as this would do her in if she didn’t warm up her muscles beforehand. She started with a few simple combinations on the bag that she knew like the back of her hand, having practiced since she was only young, from there she slowly increased the amount of punches and kicks per combination, so far in the zone she failed to see Carrillo leave, much to her future disappointment.
She was unsure how long she had been going before an unusual cold feeling overtook her body, the shakes of her muscles were no longer that of exhaustion but that of what she would assume was fear, her vision was tunneling on the bag, heart rate increasing to beyond that of physical labor and onto something more. Stubborn to a fault Ash pushed on, shaking out her arms and legs ever now and then to rid herself of the ghostly feeling. It was after one particularly bone rattling kick that she felt a presence behind her, thinking it was the man of her desires she spun around, only to be met with an empty gym, shaking her head at her own stupidity, she carried on. After the third feeling of someone behind her and Ash checking and failing to find someone she felt her vision darkening, she was dizzy beyond belief, beginning to hyperventilate and shaking all over when she felt herself fall to the floor, seconds before impact she could have swore she heard a male voice whisper “This is for my brother bitch” before she succumbed to the darkness.
——–
A wave of panic shot through the normally emotionally stealed man when he saw the younger officer lying on the floor shaking and babbling. He’d seen similar things before back in Columbia after raids had gone wrong and comrades had been killed, there was no doubt in his mind that the poor girl before him was suffering from flashbacks and potentially even PTSD, something he wouldn’t wish upon anyone with his dying breath. Bending down he carefully scooped Ash up into his arms, being careful not to jostle her and give her a fright, before he hugged her tight to his chest, exaggerating his breaths in an attempt to get hers to even out and match his own.
He made haste for the couch knowing it was one of her safe spaces, the last thing he needed was to make her any more uncomfortable than she already was. Rounding the corner into the lounge and taking a few quick strides into the room Carrillo went to place Ash down on the couch, only to have her cling to him desperately while shaking her head, the flash of pain that crossed her face and the small anguished cry she made had the man’s heart leaping into his throat. He was a man of duty and honor through and through, he looked after any team he commanded to the best of his ability, but seeing this girl, whom he had begun developing feelings for, in such pain was sending him for a loop, something which hasn’t happened since he too was a junior officer.
With Ash still bundled in his arms Carrillo snagged the blanket hanging off one of the smaller couches before wrapping it around the girls shoulders in an attempt to warm her up, she was shivering furiously, no doubt in shock from rehashing the trauma of her attack. He slowly lowered himself onto the couch, getting as comfortable as possible, before allowing a still slightly incoherent Ash to settle against his chest. He began slowly rubbing up and down her back in an attempt to soothe her, while whispering sayings in his native tongue that his mother used to use to calm him down as a boy. It took a while but Ash slowly started to breathe normally against him, her shaking ebbed away and the babbling that she had been doing when he found her had disappeared. Even as her body began to relax she made no move to get off his lap or out of his arms, something that signalled her trust in him and also managed to put him at ease.
Ash was hyper aware when she came to, her body was unusually warm on one side and deceptively cold on the other, she took note of the blanket around her shoulders and the strong anchor of an arm wrapped securely around her, providing great comfort when she definitely needed it. Her head was resting comfortably against the strong plane of his shoulder, his breathing seemed deliberately slowed in a far too practiced way, as if he was used to dealing with situations such as this. She cursed herself for being so weak that she needed to be, what she guessed was, carried from one room to the next because she allowed her emotions to get the better of her, a small part of her recognised that this was uncontrollable after the trauma she had faced, but a larger darker part of herself felt ashamed for needing to rely on the comfort of her commanding officers’ arms to calm her frenzied mind and frayed emotions.
Ash swallowed thickly, tears coming to her eyes, as a wave of deep seated shame overtook her senses. She felt bad for Carrillo, he never signed up for looking after a broken soldier like herself, there was no need for him to be so kind to her, maybe it was best she asked to leave the team, lest she make him shoulder the burden that was her broken soul. She made a move to climb from his lap, only to be brought impossibly close to his warmth when the solid weight of his arm tightened momentarily in warning. If there was ever any doubt that she didn’t belong right where she sat then in that moment it was wiped away, such a simple action had her wanting to bare her soul to the man before her, so broken and touch starved she was that she almost laughed at the humility of her thoughts.
She sniffled despite not wanting to show the emotions that were clouding her thoughts, she wanted to be strong in front of her commander, not some weak girl who couldn’t cut it in the force. It seemed that the attack that day in the gym had had more of an affect that anyone really could have imagined, so far the doctors had left her in the capable hands of her CO, not that she was complaining, but there was definitely something underlying that was worrying both Ash and the Colonel respectively, neither could put a finger on what though.
Carrillo felt the sudden staggering of her breaths, she was trying to hide something, and he gathered it wasn’t something that should be hidden. He lifted his left hand slowly and gently grasped her chin to tilt her head up from looking at her hands clasped in her lap to somewhat awkwardly making eye contact with him. The sight of her watery red rimmed eyes made him ache in an uncomfortable but somehow not unwanted way, he wanted to be the person she could come to and vent out her concerns without fear of what might come of the situation, he wanted in every way possible to be that stable force in her life, for better or for worse. He knew from experience that he should quickly disregard these kinds of thoughts, it was entirely too early to be getting this deep with a fellow soldier, let alone a junior officer who he was in command off, but despite knowing all that was stacked against him he just couldn’t stay away, this was something he would pressure until his dying breath.
Ash could see the wheels in his head turning, his thoughts no doubt flying through his head and being batted away for another time, the formidable Colonel was known for his hard exterior but in this moment she wasn’t sure she could believe the things she had heard. His hand had only just barely moved away from her face, just kind of hovering in her space, a gentle reminder that he did, infact, have a compassionate side, one that she was beginning to see more and more. From this angle meeting his eyes was uncomfortable, feeling brave Ash decided to shift the position into something teetering the edge of the forever thinning professional line between them. She moved quickly but still giving him time to push her away, gathering one leg from underneath her she shifted it to the right so she was straddling his lap, chest to chest and nearly overwhelmingly intimate.
From this new position she had the perfect opportunity to really take him in, subconsciously her hand came up to cradle his face, lightly tracing over his brows before flowing over his cheekbone, Ash smiled softly when his stormy eyes fluttered shut as he lent into her palm, touch it seemed was something they both craved, she continued lightly tracing over his facial features finally coming to a halt with her palm resting along the side of face, thumb hovering just a few millimeters away from his lips. With his eyes still closed she was almost tempted to close the gap between them to thank him for looking after her, but also in a selfish need to fulfill a small portion of her desires. Instead of following through on that thought, she spoke quietly, not wanting to break this small moment of peace, “Sir, I want to thank you for everything you’ve done, I…. uh…” her voice broke, emotions overwhelming her, “Its just, no one has done this much for me since i was a kid, and i know you didn’t sign up for this so…” her speech was cut off when he placed his finger against her lips, effectively silencing her.
“For one..” he started off strongly “I’m just doing what any good commander would do, you’re part of the team Ash, we look after our own, and two” his voice dropped just that little bit lower, taking on a rough gravelly tone “Please call me Horacio”
Ash just stared at him blankly for a moment while processing his words then at nothing more than a quiet whisper she breathed out his name, a jolt of understanding and desire coursing through her body when a lazy smile overtook his features. Whatever was left of the line of professionalism between them had been shattered in that moment, the overwhelming warmth of his eyes made her heart beat faster in her chest, decision made she leant forward slightly while tilting his head up to meet her own, the first brush of their lips against each others was brief, testing in a way, she went to pull back to assess his reaction but just as she began moving her head away he surged up, reconnecting their lips in a kiss that was all consuming.
He was everywhere and nowhere all at once, too close but somehow too far away, everything that had led up to this moment was poured out in one deep soul shattering kiss that would be burnt into her memory for years to come. The kiss was all teeth and tongue, methodical and thorough and by all means gratifying. He kissed her like a man starved, thrusting his tongue past her parted lips and drowning himself in the taste and feel of her body, committing her to memory while she did the same with him. His hands had moved from her face down to her ass, pulling her even tighter against him in an attempt to satisfy every waking desire he held for her. Her hands found purchase on his shoulders as she ground down on him, the small moan of satisfaction that escaped her lips was soon drowned out by the gravely moan that left his throat when her hands came up to tug on his hair.
The sound of a camera shutter followed by the sounds of barely concealed joyous laughter had the two of them breaking apart, Ash climbing rather hurriedly from his lap and Horacio’s hands flying out to steady her as she stumbled slightly, her mind still sluggish from the intensity of their kiss . Ash looked towards the front door where the noise had come from only to find Henry standing there with the smuggest smile he could muster plastered on his face, that little bastard. Even while annoyed from being ripped from her moment of bliss she couldn’t be angry at him, but appearances were everything, so without a noise of warning she bolted for the barely older soldier, tackling him to the ground and cursing him out only loud enough for Henry himself to hear.
Having had enough of being beat down on Henry flipped them over, effectively pinning Ash to the ground and already setting his plan in motion, he was entirely too eager to start pissing the Colonel off, especially now that he had caught him and Ash sucking faces on the couch, making him jealous just might be too easy of a feat now. He smiled cheekily down at Ash, the look in his eye no doubt sending the message to her that he was ready to cause mischief, that smile of his grew when she imperceptibly shook her head at him. Ever the annoying older brother type he was he began tickling her, delighting in the way she tried to escape and started screeching at him to stop, instead of doing that he picked her up, throwing her over his shoulder and he made haste towards her room, already knowing which was hers from the messages his fiance had received from the giggling girl over his shoulder.
Reaching her room he kicked the door shut with his foot before not so gracefully throwing Ash onto the bed, trying not to curl over dying of laughter when she began rolling round on the bed clutching her stomach and laughing breathlessly while trying to speak. Her laughter suddenly stopped when there was a slight banging noise from a few rooms over which seemed to sober her up, looking at Henry with wide eyes she gulped, “Omg, you idiot, he’s gonna bloody kill you for that!”
Henry just shrugged while flopping on the bed beside her, “That’s the plan Ashy, we are gonna make that man so jealous he doesn’t know what to do with himself, then you’ll really be enjoying yourself” he said with a jovial wink.
Ash just groaned before smacking him square in the face with a pillow, she really did love him like a brother but sometimes Henry was an idiot, “Lemme guess, you and lisa made a bet on the Colonel and I, and then you being the idiot you are decided you wanted to take it to the extreme?” she questioned, rolling her eyes when he nodded while giving her the best puppy dog eyes he could muster. Throwing her hands up in the air she huffed, “ok fine, but nothing that’ll weird either of us out, and we only do this until something solid happens between Carrillo and I, deal?” she stuck her hand out to seal their little deal.
“Definitely deal kiddo, now, wanna see Lisa’s reaction when I send this scandalous photo of you and our CO kissing through to her?” The boyish smile he sent her way had her smiling like an idiot. Yup, her brother really was a dumbass.
CHARACTER/PAIRING: Modern!Carrillo x Army!OC (eventually)
WARNINGS: maybe some swearing, military slang, more military talk, spelling and grammatical errors. Flippy floppy points of view and tenses. Could be very OOC/AU for some. Carrillo may not be narcos accurate as this is an AU. Some OC x OC. awkwardly written moments. Sexual tension. some NSFW content. Mentions of death, child endangerment, TW: car crash.
AUTHORS NOTE: ok so this chapter went a little darkish at the start and then very different at the end. not gonna lie a little bit giddy and proud of this chapter, hope you all enjoy, sorry for the wait between the chapters. would also love to hear any predictions about where the fic may go.
“Ashlyn honey, come on, we don’t want to be late ” her mother, Teressa, yelled out from the bottom of the stairs, laughing softly to herself when she heard the mad rush of footsteps on the wooden floors before seeing her eight year old daughter running towards her with all her might, only to halt army style and stare up at her with wide eyes. There was not a single soul that could deny the resemblance between the two of them, they shared the striking green eyes and red-brown hair of the Sayer family, both had a boisterous take no shit attitude and the same little quirks and tells when they were upset. Which Teressa could tell was the case with her daughter right this minute. She reached down and pulled her young daughter into her embrace, balancing her on her hip as she made haste towards their car, “what’s wrong baby? What’s got you thinking, hmm?”
Ash looked up at her mum, teary eyed and mumbled, “I don’t want daddy to get mad at me, I didn’t mean to hit that boy, he just said some mean things about daddy and I got really angry”. Little sniffles were becoming more and more prevalent as she continued talking, try as she might the little girl couldn’t fathom why people would speak bad about her family, they were all so nice!. She clumsily climbed down from her mum’s arms and hopped up into her car seat, clipping her belt before pulling on it dramatically to prove that she was actually clipped in. Ash then let out a small gleeful laugh when her mum bopped her on the nose before walking around the car to get into the driver’s seat to start on their journey to the principal’s office to find out the punishment for the young girls justified behaviour.
The journey to the school would take longer than necessary, unexpected road closures with no concrete explanations from the officers monitoring the road blocks had forced Teressa to take the back roads and add an extra forty minutes to their already long commute for a Saturday morning. Travelling along generally unused and quiet roads was somewhat of an unusual experience for Ash, having been used to seeing cars passing by every other minute and looking at houses rather than vast open fields. As they passed round a corner, entering a tree lined road with dense forest on either side of them, an unsettling feeling overcame the young mother, there was a strange darkness that clung to the air, setting off alarm bells within. She remained calm as possible as to not alert Ashlynn that something was wrong, as the young girl was far too perceptive for her age, a trait that she had inherited from her fathers side of the family. She glanced back at her daughter, noticing that she was rather quiet, but let out a small sigh of relief when she noted that she had dozed off, head slumped against the panel of the door and her hair covering her face, snoring away softly to herself. It was in this brief moment of distraction that Teressa failed to notice the truck approaching rapidly from behind, when she did she increased her speed well beyond the speed limit, keeping an eye on a sleeping Ash to make sure she didn’t wake up and begin to start asking questions like the curious little thing always did.
As her speed increased the blacked out vehicle behind them only got faster until it was a mere meter behind their car, seeing no other option she pushed the car to its limits, approaching the upcoming intersection at speeds that should terrify her beyond means, but in this moment she was focusing on only one thing, protecting her innocent daughter in the back seat. As she passed through the intersection a scream forced its way from her throat, just through the intersection sat a parked truck blocking the road. Teressa knew she wouldn’t be able to stop in time so she swerved sharply to the right, hearing the screaming of the tires as they went from smooth asphalt to the gravely uneven surface that bordered the edge of the road. The steering of the car locked up, Teressa tried with all her might to get it moving again but was forced to endure the inevitable pain from the collision that was about to happen, with what may be her final words to her daughter she turned to look at Ash, tears filling her eyes when she took in the terrified expression on the young girls’ face, and whispered “I love you baby girl”
When Ash woke up she was sprawled on the grass a few feet from the car, rain was pouring down putting a darker spin on the event occurring. There were people standing around her, albeit a few feet away and semi-huddled together, and something warm was running into her left eye. Reaching up and feeling a thick, sticky substance she pulled her hand down to get a better look, a terrified scream leaving her small body when she noticed her hand washed red with blood. Her scream drew the attention of the people huddled together but they dismissed her without some much as a disgruntled look, they weren’t there for her. Ash glanced around, frightened and searching for her mum, who she found in a heap a meter or so to the left of her. With great difficulty she managed to crawl over to her mum, gathering her head and shaking her when she wouldn’t wake up.
“Mummy please! I’m sorry, no mummy please! Please wake up mummy, I need you” Tears poured from the eyes of the young bruised girl, mixing in with the blood as she desperately tried to wake her mum up. Her little body was exhausted from the effort, shivering from the cold seeping into her bones from the rain, and the toll of the crash began to take effect, she was becoming drowsy, a sure sign of a concussion. Ash felt a small wave of relief was over her when the eyes of her mothers’ met her own, the tears never halted, dripping off her face and landing on the face of her mother, mixing in with the blood that was covering the once beautiful face of her mum, now marred by sliced and bruised flesh. Her mum pulled her head towards herself, pressing a short but meaningful kiss to her forehead before her body began to go limp. “Ashy, darling, hold Mumma close for a little while” the broken voice of her mother rang clear in her ears.
Ash pulled her mums’ head as close to her little chest as possible, crying out and trying with all her might to keep her mum with her till help could arrive. With one last shuddering breath her mother passed, she was gone, no matter how tightly Ash held her. Looking down and seeing the closed eyes of her mother, she panicked, screaming out for the group of people to try and get their attention or at least their help. “Please help me, my mummy won’t wake up! I need my mummy, please help me!”
One of the men started towards her, dressed in clothes very similar to that of her father, before coming to a stop before her. He looked over the child thoughtfully, knowing the orders he was given deemed only that the woman be killed and the girl to be delivered to the hospital in a recoverable state, sighing to himself he reached down and hoisted the girl up and made haste towards one of the trucks.
“Put me down! I want my mummy. Don’t take me away from her! MUMMY!!!!” the girl cried and screamed and beat at the man that was carrying her. She didn’t understand. Why was the man taking her away from the one good thing in her life. Ash watched as the other men made their way towards her mum, before picking her up and beginning to chain her to the tree. One of the men pulled out a large knife which had the young girl screaming at the top of her lungs, “Leave my mummy alone! Just leave her alone you bully! Dont touch her!” the men just laughed at her, mocking her pitiful cries. She was unceremoniously thrown into the backseat of one of the vehicles, effectively cutting off her view of the men outside.
The young man climbed into the driver’s seat, this was his first assignment within the force and he was disgusted by the behaviour of the team. His gaze travelled out the side window just in time to watch the team commander behead the young woman they had just killed, his stomach turned even further when the men began taking turns carving something into the body as they chained her up to the tree and left her there for someone to find. With the signal from his commander he started the car and made haste towards the nearest hospital to get the young, tortured girl seen too as fast as possible, her eyes were drooping and she was beyond pale which scared him. He felt for the young girl, having to go through so much at a young age because of the wrongdoings of her father.
~present~
Ash would never forget the sounds of the crash, the shattering of the glass or the painful scream that left her mothers’ lips the moment before both their worlds went dark that day. The final words of her mother were painfully etched into her memory, a grim reminder of that fateful day, and in tribute to her fallen parent the words “A little weakness goes a long way” were tattooed above her heart, words she stuck to as much as possible.
**
**
She sucked in a deep breath of air in an attempt to re-center herself with her surroundings and shake off the ghostly shivers of her broken past. She rubbed her hand across her face, wiping away the tears before scoffing out a vacant laugh. “Every damn year, without fail, I get these… these dreams about it ya know?. It’s like I can’t escape my past. I’m constantly thinking ‘what could I have done better, why couldn’t I have been a more grounded child’. If I had just controlled my anger my mum might still be here today”
The broken sob that left the young soldier had the Colonels’ heart clenching in his chest and his hands tightening on the steering wheel, almost uncomfortably so. He knew all too well the effects blaming oneself had on the mind. There were many things he took the blame for or blamed himself for as an inexperienced officer in his younger days, he would not allow the girl beside him to fall into that trap any longer given there was likely a deeply buried explanation to the event, one he would commit to finding. While keeping a close eye on the road ahead he reached over to wrap Ash’s hand tightly beneath one of his own effectively hoping to silence her racing thoughts and give her something more tangible to focus on. She was one of his own now, a team member that needed to be looked after as thoroughly as possible, but also someone that, dare he say it, was slowly becoming more than that.
Ash’s head shot up in surprise when she felt the large warm hand grasp her own, it brought a wave of unexpected comfort to her being, warming her to her core. Turning her attention from the hand over her own to the face of the man beside her she gulped. His shoulders were drawn up tight, hand gripping the wheel so tightly his knuckles were white, his jaw was clenched to the point she could have sworn she heard his teeth grinding. His brow has drawn now and his mouth was drawn into a tight line, he was clearly displeased, no, angered by her past she just confessed, the anger that had settled in his deep brown eyes had a chill racing down her spine, it was a look of cold calculation, one she was sure many of has enemies had seen moments before their death. Gathering a small amount of courage she covered his hand with her other and began rubbing small unconscious circles into the side of his thumb, letting a small relieved breath when she saw some of the tension leave his body.
**
**
A short time had passed and they had reached the hospital; the tension had now left Ash’s body, with the weight of telling Carrillo about some of her destructive past now off her shoulders she felt like the awkwardness of the previous week had been all but forgotten. Her now unwavering trust in the man beside her somewhat frightened her, coupled in with the ever growing feelings she knew she was in far too deep. There was a silent agreement between the two of them that Ash would go to the medics while Carrillo would head to the archives to try and find files that would be useful to the team, they would reconvene at the car within the next two hours.
Upon entering the hospital and being directed to the outpatient clinic Ash was greeted by a very familiar face, “Captain Lisa Ortiz, my god it has been too long”. The smile that graced her face was pure and genuine, seeing a long lost family friend after so long was a relief and a huge shock to the system, but a good one at that. Ash wasn’t even aware that the Captain had returned from deployment, the last time she’d seen the woman was at her graduation parade when Ash had not long turned eighteen. She had grown up down the road from the amazing woman and as it turned out the Captain was now dating her favourite Lieutenant, Lt. Henry O’Connor.
“My god, little Ashy is that you, come over here girl” Captain Ortiz beckoned her over before wrapping her in a bear hug, she used to babysit the kid when she was a young tot, and furthermore after her mother had passed. Ash’s father, more often than not, would drop her on the Ortiz family doorstep and disappear for weeks on end, she had all but raised this girl and was proud that she had followed her dreams and joined the force. “Right, you, we have some catching up to do, head down to the third room on the right and I’ll be there after I’ve found your files” she had pointed down the corridor signaling the direction she wanted the 2nd Lieutenant to go, a pleased smile gracing her face when she watched the young thing wander off with a new found bounce in her step.
Ash was startled from her thoughts when the Captain entered the room before plonking herself down rather ungracefully into the chair beside her. “I read the report Greys, what the fuck! Have they found who did that to you? That’s some messed up shit girl, glad you’re ok though kiddo” She reached over and ruffled Ash’s hair not giving her a moment to answer the questions thrown at her before standing up to grab some gloves and some tools to begin removing the younger officers’ stitches. “Right up on the bed, shirt off, I’m sure by now you’ll be wanting those stitches out”
Ash only nodded, shaking her head with a brief laugh before pulling her shirt over her head and climbing onto the bed like she was asked, she was far to content to do as she was told given how much she trusted the woman before her, she’d admired her since she was a small child and inspired to be like her even now. Lisa began carefully removing the stitches from her side, poking and prodding here and there to make sure she was most definitely healed like she should be, when one particularly hard poke had Ash wincing, she knew the Captain had found the slightly marred skin from where she had pulled those stitches.
“So…” the Captain began, “I heard a dit Greys. About you, a certain LT. Colonel and then a certain international guest. Care to share?”.
The shiteating grin that was currently taking up Lisa’s face told Ash all she needed to know. The Captain already knew everything about the whole ‘Sinclair situation’ so there really wasn’t much to tell there, but from what she remembered about the slightly older woman, she always got the answers she wanted, Ash really couldn’t hide anything from her if she tried. “Damn it Lisa, just spit it out, what do you wanna know” she said with a jeering tone, she knew forgoing rank with the Captain wouldn’t drop her in the shit, the benefits of knowing someone since you were five years old. It was funny watching Lisa try and find the right words to say, the furrowing of her brow and the opening and closing of her mouth like a fish out of water nearly had Ash in tears, it was quite the sight.
**
**
“From what I’ve heard the LT. Colonel was a bit of an asshole to you, kid. But I also remember a certain eighteen year old having it bad for him when she attended my graduation parade. I wonder who that could be…” Lisa trailed off with a chuckle. She was sure that by now Ash had all but forgotten about her nagging antics involving the man she no doubt despised nowadays, but it was still a moment of great amusement for the Captain. “Little eighteen year old you just wouldn’t shut up about him. Sinclair this, Sinclair that, honestly kid I’m surprised you never tried to jump that dick near the end of training” Ortiz paused for a moment, considering something before having a light bulb moment, “Unless it’s because of a certain Columbian hunk I’ve heard so much about from some of the medics in your intake…” She knew she’d hit the jackpot when Ash blushed beet-red from her hairline to her neck. “Awww, does little Ashy have a crush on the big bad Colonel?”
Ash didn’t know what to say, she had honestly forgotten about how she had crushed on the LT. Colonel before she really even knew him, embarrassingly enough her reactions towards him kind of made sense now. She was going to attempt to deny her ever mounting crush on the Colonel she now lived and worked with but given the reaction Lisa had given, she knew she’d been caught out. “Even after all these years you’re still a gossiping teen” Ash choked out with a laugh, shaking her head with a big smile on her face, “And pffft no, I do not have a crush on anyone. Thank you very much”. Even to her own ears the lie was so evident in her voice, there was definitely no denying she did have a crush on the aforementioned man, but that was despite the point.
“OH yeah, for sure. Definitely. You sound so sure about that Greys. Come on now, between friends, what’s it like living with that god of a man? I’ve only seen some pictures but holy damn girl, if you don’t ride that dick that I’m going to get you sent to the block, because denying that man that would be a crime!” The pure childlike glee that passed through the Captains body at witnessing the utter shock of her words became clear to Ash and had her curling over in laughter. Never in her life has she seen someone look so offended yet also curious at the idea.
“Hey put it this way, if that man is cuffing me. I’ll happily go right to horny jail” Ash huffed out between laughs, god it was good to be around someone who thought like her and wasn’t afraid of talking shit at work, it was gold. It felt good to genuinely laugh with someone she knew and cherished, it had been far too long.
“Anyway Greys, better get you all wrapped up and sent on your way back to your mans before he gets grumpy and you get told off. Although secretly I’m sure you’d just love that” She walked over to the desk and gathered up some papers that she needed Ash to give to her new Commanding Officer before writing out some prescriptions for more painkillers and nausea meds that she knew would come in handy in the future. “I need you to give these papers to the Colonel for me” she pointed to the stack tucked into an envelope, “And these ones are for you little lady. Please do keep me posted about that handsome hunk you live with. And don’t let Henry annoy you too much when he gets to the house, I’m sure you’ll have your hands full though. Good luck Greys!” and with one final tight hug she let the young officer go. Watching her plod down the hallway with a dopey smile on her face. Before she could forget she flicked her partner a text:
To: Future Hubbster
~ baby it seems you’ll have the perfect opportunity to have some fun in your new posting. Our little Ashy-bear has a crush on the Colonel, you HAVE to get them together somehow, we need our girl to be happy.
It was barely a minute later that her phone chimed, reading the message she had to shake her head with a laugh.
From: Future Hubbster
~God I love you. Permission to make a certain Colonel jealous by any means necessary?
She quickly typed out a reply before hitting send and making her way back to the nurses desk to grab the papers for her next patient. She was sure that whatever her partner would do that it would for sure stir up some shit in the team, one of the many reasons she loved that troublemaker.
To: Future Hubbster
~permission granted, boy scout. Just don’t weird out our little Ashy or get kicked off the team. See you tonight baby xx
———-
From that day onwards the energy in the house was no longer awkward. Carrillo and Ash had fallen back into a rhythm of eating meals together and just genuinely enjoying each other’s company in the moments when they could relax. Every Night at around twenty hundred hours they’d both find their way into the living room, generally Ash with a book and Carrillo with some kind of file that could potentially be helpful for their missions, reading quietly in comfortable silence had brought a sense of peace to the both of them. With the events from earlier in the week pushed to the side, but definitely not forgotten by either of them, they were back to being a well gelled team, a small team nonetheless but it worked well for them.
Ash had not so subtly started doting on the man. She’d bring him coffee’s to the office during the day because he barely left the room when he got stuck in a rut reading paper after paper, her heart always warmed that extra little bit when he’d happily accept the cup and give her a small grateful smile, she always left the room with a blush on her cheeks and an added skip in her step. Sunday rolled round and Carrillo had seemingly disappeared from the house, and with him nowhere to be found Ash took it upon herself to finally go for a run.
The property definitely seemed larger now she was running around the outside of it, she was becoming exhausted much faster than she would have liked and her side was rather sore from the effort. It was on her third lap of the property, the lap she had named ‘struggle street’ that she heard the sound of an approaching vehicle. Gapping it towards the house in an attempt to act like she hadn’t just been breaking the rules she made it just in time, rushing round her room and heading to the shower as fast as possible. The both of them had obviously learnt one thing from their moment in the living room nearly a week ago, always take your clothes into the bathroom and come out fully dressed, definitely a less awkward situation. Upon leaving the bathroom, fully clothed, she noticed a fresh set of groceries on the bench, it now made sense as to where the Colonel had disappeared to.
Ash started out putting everything away neatly and into the designated spots, putting her favourite foods into easy to reach spots because while she was average height, some of the cupboards were just that little bit too tall for her to reach up into. Once everything was put away she beelined for the couch and flicked on a random movie on tv, not intending to do much more than nap due to being beyond tired from her run, the dull ache of her muscles was a welcome feeling. Ash skipped dinner that night, still feeling far too tired from her exercise and instead chose to retire to bed early, but not before delivering a fresh cup of coffee to a very busy Carrillo.
Ash was starving when she woke up the next morning, stomach was growling and her body ached more than it had in a very long while, the good kind of overworked ache. Climbing rather ungracefully from her bed and into the kitchen, forgetting to put shorts on under the t-shirt she wore while in a tired state. Growing bored while waiting for the pot of coffee to finish she dug into the cupboard to grab a bowl and spoon in preparation for breakfast, wandering over to the fridge to get the milk before returning to her previous place, just in time for the coffee to be ready. Pouring the cup and taking a quick sip she felt herself begin to wake up, she definitely functioned better after the first cup of coffee in the morning, placing the cup down she reached up to the cupboard she usually kept her cereal in to make herself a bowl, only to find it wasn’t where she had put it yesterday upon unpacking the groceries. Huffing to herself in frustration she began checking the other cupboards, each one she opened came up empty, the frustration growing more and more when all the ones in her line of sight and reach didn’t contain her beloved Creamy Oats. It was then that it occurred to her there was one cupboard left to check, the highest up one that Carrillo usually kept any of his favourite stuff in, reaching up on tippy toes and flicking one of the doors open and she struck gold. From her placement she could see the logo of her cereal staring back at her, now she just had to reach it. Somehow.
Caught up in trying to reach her cereal she failed to notice the Colonel leaning against his bedroom door watching silently from afar. He’d woken to the sound of the kitchen being ransacked only to laugh at what he was seeing. His plan it seemed, had worked, from his vantage point he was granted with quite the sight, long muscled legs, and a well toned ass were revealed as Ash tried to stretch as much as she could onto her tiptoes to reach the box of cereal he had deliberately placed at the back of ‘his’ cupboard. Smirking away to himself he slowly padded over to the kitchen, taking special care to dare not make a sound to alert her of his presence.
Ash jumped when she felt a hand land softly on her side, her body tensed before relaxing all too quickly when she felt the penetrating heat of the man behind her. He reached up over her head, muscles bunching and pressed tightly against her effectively caging her in, grasped the box of cereal she was desperately trying to reach and reached down and placed it in front of her. She expected him to move away instantly but instead he stood there trapping her between the hard wood of the bench and the increasingly harder wood poking her in the lower back. One arm was still gripping her side, the other wrapped around her front with his hand played out on the bench, desperately close to where she needed it most.
Testing the resolve of the officer behind her might not have been her brightest idea but she craved any kind of interaction or touch she could gain from this man. Ash pushed back on him, letting out a small pliant sound of need when she felt him twitch against the curve of her ass, the resulting groan she received from him had her buckling at the knees. His head moved down, mouth hovering against the shell of her ear, she could feel the harsh uneven breaths and when she ground down on him again, harder this time, she was rewarded with yet another deep moan, one that sent a delighted shiver down her spine. She made a move to repeat the action but the hand on her side clamped down impossibly tight, efficiently halting her movements, the last thing she expected was for him to speak.
“Do that again, and you’ll find out how little control I really have” His voice was a mere whisper but it had the desired effect.
Ash froze, processing the words. The sleepy lust filled drawl sent a punch of arousal straight to her core and a moan escaping her throat. She was almost tempted to see how far she could push him, but settled for subtly maneuvering herself to grab for her coffee and bring it closer, her throat was impossibly dry now and he was not helping the situation.
The subtle movement brushed so lightly against him that in any other state it may have been imperceptible but in this highly aroused state it made him want to return the favour. He leaned down slowly, gauging her reaction, before gently and fleetingly brushing his lips behind her ear, smirking softly against her skin when she tilted her head slightly to accommodate him, mouth agape. Never one to turn down an advantage he slowly moved his right hand towards her coffee cup, distracting her further by trailing his lips along the edge of her jaw towards her own lips. He continued his journey towards her lips, stopping only when his hand found purchase on the hot cup of coffee before her, before he retraced his previous path, this time stopping every few centimeters to mouth at underside of her jaw, when he reached his intended target he sealed the deal. He nibbled at the soft skin beneath her ear, sucking lightly to leave the barest of marks but one the both of them would know was there, he blew softly on the skin, lips once again pulling into a smirk when she threw her head back against his bare shoulder. He leant his head against the side of her own, gently nuzzling against her before he growled out lowly, “Thanks for the Coffee Ash” and then as if he wasn’t affected by the current situation, he stepped back, groaning at the loss of pressure against his painfully hard cock.
To say Ash was an undignified mess wouldn’t be far from the truth, but even in her current state of dizzying arousal she wouldn’t let him have the last word. She spun on her heel, briefly stunned while watching the muscles on his back bunch and twist as he made his way back to his room, before she remembered her mission. “Sir..” she tempted in a voice dripping with sin, smirking proudly when she saw his shoulders tense and his head shoot up in a hurry, obviously not expecting her to speak back, “When you start something next time, I expect you to finish it” and with those as her final words she turned around, leaning heavily against the bench for support, barely resisting the urge to get herself off where she stood, Colonel be damned.
Carrillo only just had his door closed and the coffee cup discard before he was desperately pulling himself from his shorts. In less than a dozen strokes and with a barely concealed yell he had spilled into his own hand, moving across the floor he reached down to pick up a discarded t-shirt to clean up his mess. Sitting down on his bed to catch his breath he had to laugh at the situation, he had underestimated the young woman, severely so, and now he’d crossed a line he never had before. He was in deep, far too deep to continue to deny his true feelings for the junior officer. He flopped back onto his bed, staring at the ceiling before growling out a string of curse words in his native tongue. That girl really knew how to get under his skin.
CHARACTER/PAIRING: modern!Carrillo x Army!OC (eventually)
WARNINGS: maybe some swearing, military slang, more military talk, spelling and grammatical errors. Flippy floppy points of view and tenses. Could be very OOC/AU for some. Carrillo may not be narcos accurate as this is an AU. Some OC x OC. awkwardly and/or poorly written moments
AUTHORS NOTE: hope yall enjoy this, i was in fact a lil tipsy while writing this so if there is some spelling errors or something akin to that, that could be why. @1zashreena1 i thank you so much for letting me bounce my ideas off you for most of this content, you are forever a legend.
The first few days of their second week together were surprisingly more interactive than the previous week. Carrillo had been spending less time in his office and more time in the living room putting up with whatever terrible show Ash had decided to watch that day. Arguably though, not that he would admit it out loud, he was rather enjoying the quiet company and shitty tv, an incredibly different routine than what he was used to but a welcome one at that.
CHARACTER/PAIRING: modern!Carrillo x Army!OC (eventually)
WARNINGS: maybe some swearing, military slang, more military talk, spelling and grammatical errors. Flippy floppy points of view and tenses. Could be very OOC/AU for some. Carrillo may not be narcos accurate as this is an AU. Some OC x OC. awkwardly and/or poorly written moments
AUTHORS NOTE: hope yall enjoy this, i was in fact a lil tipsy while writing this so if there is some spelling errors or something akin to that, that could be why. @1zashreena1 i thank you so much for letting me bounce my ideas off you for most of this content, you are forever a legend.
The first few days of their second week together were surprisingly more interactive than the previous week. Carrillo had been spending less time in his office and more time in the living room putting up with whatever terrible show Ash had decided to watch that day. Arguably though, not that he would admit it out loud, he was rather enjoying the quiet company and shitty tv, an incredibly different routine than what he was used to but a welcome one at that.
It was on Tuesday night that the Colonel finished any important and pressing paperwork for his team, with it all being completed by the early hours of twenty three hundred, or at least early for him, he decided that he would turn in early for the night. Before that though, he would do his usual security checks of the house, first starting with the living room. To his surprise the room was not empty, instead he found himself smiling softly at the picture before him. Greyson was slumped upright on the couch, head leaving on the palm of her left arm, and shoulders rising and falling in measured deep breaths. She was yet again asleep on the couch, an increasingly common occurrence over the last few nights.
It was as if his feet had a mind of his own as the Colonel soon found himself standing before the sleeping junior officer. He debated whether or not it would be wise to wake her up, her position did not look comfortable in the slightest, but if her soft snores were anything to go by, she was in a deep sleep, something he felt she didn’t get often. The last few nights he’d woken to anguished screams coming from Ash’s room, before hearing her door open and her footsteps as she began to pace the length of the living room before exhausting herself and collapsing onto the couch. He would usually lay awake for a good ten or so minutes after her pacing had stopped before he would check on her, normally finding her drenched in sweat but shivering on the couch as she had not had the forethought to grab a blanket in her exhausted and frazzled state.
A small part of him felt sorry for the fresh officer, whatever was haunting her was obviously taking a toll on her and there was another part of him that wanted to slowly crack through her defences and find out what it was so he could help her, or at least comfort her, in some way. These kinds of thoughts were becoming more and more common and were beginning to somewhat startle him and set him off kilter around Greyson. He usually had a good grip on his emotions and was able to push feelings away and stay strictly professional around any female colleagues, but with this officer he found himself wanting to cross that line. He barely knew the young soldier but she had set a lasting impression on him that he had tried to shake with all his might. So for now he would indulge himself in caring for her in subtle ways that could be seen as a superior caring for his injured member of his team and wait to get a positive or negative reaction from Greyson. Either way, this former cadet was going to be around for a while, so he needed to restrain his growing feelings as best as he could, he would not want a repeat of the Sinclair situation.
Huffing quietly in frustration he hastily snatched up a blanket that resided on the back of one of the neighboring couches before, as gently as possible, draping it over the sleeping soldier. He watched as she began to stretch out on the couch, grasping the blanket closer to her chest and snuggling down into the warmth. A strange tightness developed in his chest at that, one he hadn’t felt in many many years. Whatever feelings he had for this soldier needed to be pushed aside, he couldn’t afford for a margin of error in his team or a potential weakness to be exploited against either of them. With measured steps he conducted his nightly checks of the house, ensuring the locks on the front and back doors were engaged, the window locks were secure, and the security cameras that were hidden around the outside of the house we recording as usual.
Checks completed he all but marched his way back to his room, silently closing his door, before ripping his shirt over his head, shucking off his boots and pants, and climbing into bed in naught but his boxers. Double checking that his alarm was set he decided that an early morning run would be a good way to clear his head, and he could scope out areas of the property that would make for good exercise scenarios training spots.
His sleep was fitful. Full of moments already shared between himself and the younger officer who constantly occupied his every waking thoughts and potential moments that he silently hoped would come to fruition as their time together continued to build a bond between them. Whether that be strictly professional or borderline inappropriate he wasn’t sure if his resolve was strong enough to keep his feelings at bay long enough for them to fizzle out into nothing but a thought he could look back on and scoff at.
——-
Ash groaned the moment she woke, she stretched out her legs, laughing lightly at the way her joints all seemed to pop and her muscles became taught. She missed the daily ache that accompanied the constant tiredness of her cadets course. Instead now she was stuck on prescribed bed rest, unless she saw fit to disobey a direct order from the Colonel. Just a thought of his rank sent an oddly delighted shiver down her spine. Reaching over to grab her phone to check the time had her eyes bugging out of her head, she had woken il two hours later than normal, and frankly, while she knew she needed the rest, she had wished she had had the forethought to set an alarm rather than relying on her messed up body clock.
Her injuries were beginning to heal quite well now, the stitches in her head and her side were itchy and ready to be taken out but the concussion was having more of a lasting effect than she would have hoped. While she no longer woke up feeling sick or dizzy she would now have random bouts of dizziness during the day instead, which was usually succeeded by a varying degree of nausea. This morning however, she felt great. Climbing from her bed and pulling on a normal length military t-shirt and a pair of military issue shorts, that even she deemed to be a tad on the shorter side, she quickly pulled on a pair of running shoes. Today she was determined to walk around the edge of the property and see if anything other than the house had changed since she had attended this particular training ground all those years ago.
She left her room functioning on autopilot, intending to head in the direction of the kitchen to have a quick coffee before venturing outside. Her plan, however, was foiled when she suddenly collided with a solid mass after taking no more than four steps out of her room. The momentum of the crash had her hands flying out to grasp onto whatever she had bashed into in an attempt to steady herself. It took her a moment to gather her senses, but when she did, a blush settled across her face and down her neck.
Her hands had landed on a warm, slightly damp, very shirtless and muscular chest that could only belong to one person, the one person who she had began developing feelings for since she met them, Colonel Carrillo. A small yelp left her mouth at the realisation of what was happening, he was shirtless, for some reason, and she was just standing there with her palms on his chest, not so subtly feeling him up. Time seemed to have frozen, neither person was moving except for Ash’s eyes, which were drinking in the sight that was oh so wonderfully close to her. Making the first move she began to pull away from the man before her, running her hands featherlight over his pecs in a self indulgent moment, a smile growing on her face as she felt, rather than saw, the small shiver that wracked his body.
She took a small step backwards, intending to put enough space between them to be professional, only to be stopped by his hands coming up and grasping onto her elbows in a tentative grip. Ash let her eyes trail languidly over his body as she made her way up to his face, his stomach was well toned, the deep ‘V’ of his hips was prominent and his abs were defined but not chiseled , he was bulky in a way that screamed alpha male. It was inherently obvious he worked out alongside his already physically demanding job. Her eyes continued their upwards, her breath hitching while taking in the broad beautifully tanned expanse of skin that was his chest, his pecs where the most defined part about him, a key feature one might say, along with those arms of his. Ash took note of the way his breath had sped up over the course of her gaping , thankfully it seemed she was not the only one affected by the others presence.
She yearned to reach out and run her hands along the taught muscles of his forearms and up along his biceps, feeling the strength that he held within the muscles, muscles that she more often than not dreamed about. Her eyes finally came to settle on his face. He looked pained, brow drawn downwards in feigned confusion and his lips pressed tightly together as if to stop himself from speaking, his eyes were what betrayed him. His pupils were blown so wide that the delicious brown was now but a small ring around them. Ash could only imagine her face mirrored his own, the lust was palpable, this was dangerous territory.
His eyes were fixed intently on her and Ash had to gulp as his lips parted and his tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip. Her thoughts were getting more and more muddled being this close to him in this situation. Ash took yet another small step backwards as to put enough distance between them for them both to clear their thoughts, failing to do so when she tripped on the edge of the rug that covered the majority of the living room. Her eyes widened in shock when she felt her back hit the ground and felt the breath of the Colonel on her face as he fell with her, landing in the perfect pushup position above her. If Ash thought their previous position was dangerous territory she didn’t have words to describe their current predicament, though she would be lying if she said she hadn’t imagined this situation before but with her in significantly less clothing. It took her till this moment to realise that Carrillo was in fact, only in a towel, that was now, hanging on by only a small margin and stretched tight and low along his hips.
The position was compromising at best, her hands had one again found themselves attached to his glorious body, this time settling on his biceps just like she had wanted, the sheer mass of muscle contained beneath both her hands had her stomach in knots and a fire flowing through her veins. She watched, mesmerized, as a droplet of water made its descent from behind his ear, along the tight muscles of his neck and down into the dip of his collar bone, stopping for a moment before continuing down his chest. Ash involuntarily licked her lips, wanting nothing more to lean forward and run her tongue along the path the droplet was taking before sucking a mark wherever the droplet stilled. A movement to her right drew her attention away from gawking at his chest and up towards his face yet again. He had shifted himself onto one arm and was peering down at her with an unreadable expression on his face, but there was clearly some kind of intent swirling in the depth of his eyes.
Ash jumped momentarily when his hand settled heavily on her now exposed midriff, a hair’s breadth away from the stitches that decorated her side. The smirk that graced his face when he felt her jump sent a bolt of pure unadulterated desire right to her core, the look on his face was lustful and hungry. Her breathing was beyond erratic now, there was a pent up tension in her body longing to be released but at this moment she was going to leave the fate of the situation in her commanding officers’ hands, since he so clearly fed off being in control. It was as if she forgot how to breathe as she felt his hand began to trail upwards, lifting her shirt in the process and exposing more of her toned stomach to the man before her, his hand moved inwards trailing the tip of his forefinger along the etched grove of her stomach and up towards her breasts in a teasing manner, but before he could reach the destination she so desperately hoped for he stilled, pondering for a moment as he searched her face for any kind of hesitation, finding none he continued his journey north between the valley of her breasts and along the hollow of her throat before settling his hand there with barely any pressure.
Ash let out a barely there moan, the action was much more comfortable and thrilling to her than she would care to admit out loud. She watched as his face went through varying emotions before settling on determination, and with measured movements the Colonel shifted his large hand slightly to guide her chin upwards slightly to be in the optimum position to finally plant a kiss that the both wanted so badly onto her lips. Ash watched with bated breath as his face oh so slowly made his way closer to her own, eyes searching for any hesitation that would have his moments ceasing in an instant, to his surprise, she began moving slightly off the floor to meet his advances and finally seal the deal and cross the line between professional and personal.
They were a mere centimeters apart, breath mixing and both breathing unsteadily, when a shrill ringing pierced through the silence of their moment, ruining the potential moment of bliss for the Officers. It was like a bucket of cold water had been poured over the both of them, shocking enough to have Carrillo rolling to the left as fast as someone could yell ‘gun’ and Ash rolling the opposite direction and jumping to her feet. The tension in the room was thick enough to be cut with a knife but as the Colonel looked at her with something akin to regret crossing his face Ash knew she couldn’t stand to be in the same room as him for a moment longer, so she scampered away and into the comfort of her room, slamming the door on her way in before collapsing on her bed and trying to wrap her head around what had just happened. Had the Colonel really had the intention to kiss her?
——-
To say little interaction happened between the two officers after the incident was not far from the truth. Despite her desires for the Colonel , Ash had been all but avoiding him since that fateful morning, hoping that by avoiding any contact possible with the man in question that her feelings would also be avoided, a plan that was full of holes considering it was only the two of them on the property and a good three hours of driving between them and the rest of civilisation. She knew her behaviour towards the man in question could be seen in multiple different ways but she was stubborn through and through, if she didn’t need to be near the man then she was never found near him.
Their late night tv watches, breakfast together with interesting little chats, dinner shared together when Carrillo wasn’t doing paperwork had all been scraped at Ash’s behest. She would wake up before him and quickly make some food and disappear either back to her room or go for a brisk walk around the tree lined property. She would force herself to stay in her room even after the multiple nightmares would have her jolting awake with a scream leaving her throat, while she had once sought comfort in pacing the living room she could now only reflect on the incident that had occurred there and the look of regret that had graced the Colonels face. As for dinner time, the Colonel still cooked for the both of them, even if she was avoiding him, something she was highly grateful for, except now instead of sitting on the couch watching any number of things in quiet company, they now went their separate ways. Carrillo to his office and Greyson usually went outside to sit in nature and calm her frazzled nerves from being around her commanding officer.
Her plan was going extremely well for a few days until she got a call from the medics back at base confirming that it was time for her to come and get her stitches removed as it had been a good few weeks now. This put a kink in her plans, she was still getting far too many dizzy spells randomly throughout the day which meant she wouldn’t be able to drive herself to the hospital so she would be forced to man up and ask the Colonel to drive her. Three hours in a car with the man who by all means she was trying to push down her feelings for was going to be a world of hell, infinitely more awkward than the current household situation.
She got up off the couch and began moving in the direction of the room that was set up as the teams workspace only to stop dead in her track as the Colonel exited the room and stared directly at her before pointing at the phone current held in his left hand, “I just got a call from the medics, you’re needed at the hospital to get those stitches taken out” he pointed at her head and then gestured in the general direction of her stab wound, “ Doctors protocol call for me to drive you there, they want your concussion to be cleared before you’re allowed to drive”
Ash began to open her mouth to voice her protest but was cut short when the Colonel levelled with a look that said ‘don’t try me’ and the words, “That’s an order soldier! Now let’s go”. Ash wanted to protest and kick up a fuss but she knew it was no use, he was probably pissed that she’d been ignoring him for the past three or four days, and rightfully so, she’d acted much like a petulant child rather than the strong young soldier he had recruited her for. Ash knew that the only way she would be able to survive the awkwardness of the car ride was to sleep, something she hadn’t got much of for the last few nights because she had been tossing and turning trying to figure out if what she had encountered with the Colonel had been a slip in his defenses or a trick to see if she was loyal to his cause. But as she glanced over to take in the disheveled appearance and tired eyes of the Colonel beside her, she knew he had been feeling the same or at the very least, not been sleeping like he used to, he looked far too tired.
Ash dropped her seat backward in the SUV they were travelling in, a bulletproof rig the army had provided to keep the team safe whenever they did live fire practice or did a real raid, leaning her head against the cool window of the car brought a small moment of clarity for the young soldier, it might have been easier to apologize for her actions and try and smooth things over but that was not how Greyson worked. She would apologise when things got so bad that she had no other choice. The sense of peace the came from being around her commanding officer soon had her falling into a deep sleep, hopefully one that was peaceful and refreshing for once.
They were nearly two hours into the three hour drive to the base hospital when Carrillo heard a whimper come from the young officer in the seat beside him, at first he thought she had just bumped her head on the window as the road was rough in some areas, but when he heard another whimper and a quietly whispered “no” come from the sleeping female he had no choice but to look over at her and when he did he slowed the car down and threw it into park. The junior officer was sweating profusely, shaking violent and pale as a sheet, quietly mumbled words were tumbling from her lips as her brows were drawn together in a look of muted horror. Carrillo didn’t know what to think but he knew he couldn’t let her suffer so he reached across the car and gently shook Greyson by her shoulder, increasing in intensity when she didn’t wake up the first time, it was on his forth more violent shake of her shoulder that she finally woke, glancing around with tears brimming in her eyes and a startled expression on her face.
Ash had to take long measured breaths to calm her frantically beating heart, that nightmare had been one of the worse yet and she was silently grateful that the man before her had woken her before it had got any worse, reliving the death of a family member was not something that Ash wanted to repeat, but it seemed her brain wanted to taunt her constantly. She had to hold back a muted sob as emotion overtook her body and the tears began to flow freely from her eyes, she hated look weak in front of people especially someone who she’d be working beneath for god knows how long. The blood was rushing in her ears cause her to zone out and try and focus on bringing herself back to a calm state, it wasn’t until she saw Carrillo’s fingers snapping in front of her face that she finally snapped out of it and turned her tear stained face to meet his own pained expression.
“Care to tell me what has got you so upset Greyson? Is it the same thing that has had you waking up screaming in the middle of the night? I want to help you Ash”
Hearing her first name leave the mouth of the man before her was like a shock to the system, but it had the desired effect, she felt the need to confess what was happening to her and why she was indeed having horrible nightmares almost every night since she woke up in the hospital bed nearly three weeks ago. Gulping down her pride and realising that out of anyone the Colonel was probably the best person to tell her troubles too incase her past came back to haunt her, she turned to him, a sad smile on her face and uttered, “It’s a long story, Sir, but if you want to know I’m willing to share”
Carrillo smiled softly at the young officer before him, reaching out to grasp her hand tightly in his own to instill a small sense of comfort, he nodded slowly, he had finally managed to crack into her defences but what he didn’t know is he was about to find out how truly broken the soldier before him really was.
My first day was unremarkable. I briefly saw Javier, who chose to act as if we hadn’t met yet. Our introduction seemed to fit the bill for what his interactions with the other receptionists were. That was, he was flirty. Very flirty. From the charming half smiles to the winks he sent me as he would walk away, I was falling, and fast. Still, it was hard to feel like he truly cared about me when it was clear that was just his nature. He sees a woman and he flirts. I tried not to think about it too much.
The first week went by quickly. I answered phones, took messages, and scheduled meetings. This was all stuff I was used to doing, and while I couldn’t say it was that exciting, I was highly entertained by watching everyone else interact. The agents were always on the move, always planning. There one minute, out the door the next. Despite the fact that I had entertainment when the agents were at the embassy, most of the day they would be gone. After a quick chat with Messina, I was allowed to spend that free time knitting. And so that Friday I brought in the project I was working on. It was very peaceful to knit, sometimes so peaceful that an agent would need to cough to get my attention. I would be slightly embarrassed. but they all seemed to understand how boring an office job could get.
Unsurprisingly, I really enjoyed any time I had to talk with Javi. I didn’t think much of it, but at lunch the other receptionists would either swarm me, trying to get details on how I got Javi to talk to me so much, or they would glare at me from afar. I didn’t get it. Javier talked to all of the girls, why did they care so much about me?
Lunch came and went, and the rest of that Friday went quickly. Messina was working late, which sadly meant that I needed to as well. While there wasn’t much to do, I would still have to sit at my desk, waiting for her to dismiss me. At around 8pm, she walked out to get coffee, and upon noticing me, urged me to go home. I thanked her and quickly packed my stuff up. As I was walking out, I heard someone calling after me.
“Y/N! Wait up!” I turned around to see Javier trying to catch up to me. I couldn’t help but smile when I saw him. “So… any plans for the weekend?” he asked.
“I know almost no one in Bogota. You think I have plans? I’m probably just going to grab a bottle of wine and watch a movie, maybe knit some more.”
“That reminds me, uh how do I say this…” he looked around to make sure we were alone and lowered his voice, “I really want to learn to knit.” My face lit up at the idea of him coming to me for advice on knitting.
“Ooh! That’s wonderful! I have some extra needles you can have, and I have plenty of yarn for you to borrow to start.” We exited the building, and I started heading to where my car was parked. He followed me.
“Thanks. Um, I was kind of hoping you could teach me? I could come over if you want. I’ll bring the wine.” He asked it as a question, allowing me the opportunity to turn him down. I thought for a moment. His reputation proceeded him. He was a womanizer, but I felt like he was different with me. Perhaps it was naïve, but I couldn’t help but agree.
“That sounds wonderful, but no funny business. I’m not ending my first week at my new job by sleeping with a coworker. How about we meet tomorrow night? How does six sound?”
“That sounds great. You do live in the apartments that are given to the office staff, right?”
“I do. Wait do you live there too?” He chuckled.
“Nah, I live in the building across the street. Steve lives above me.” I smiled.
“That sounds nice.” I stopped, noticing I had reached my car. “Well, this is my car. I better let you get to yours.” He smiled and I couldn’t help but reach up to give him a kiss on the cheek. I immediately felt him heat up and I did too. “I- uh…”
“Goodnight, Y/N.” He said as he placed a kiss to the top of my head. The action felt strangely much more intimate than my kiss. Perhaps it was because he never showed anyone at the office this side of him.
The entire drive home I couldn’t help but smile. I was giddy. My god, I was like a school girl with a crush. When I got to my apartment building and parked, I looked across the street at Javier’s building wondering what apartment might be his. I walked into my building and went up the two flights of stairs to my unit. After unlocking the door, I walked in and dropped my belongings unceremoniously on my dinner table. The rest of the night was spent with the tv on but being completely ignored as I thought back to the way Javi and I had parted ways. Eventually I showered before heading to bed. I couldn’t sleep, and it took everything in my power to stray away from some dirtier thoughts about Javier. I was not going to be another one of his conquests. I wanted friendship. Maybe even more. And if I was reading him correctly, he was in desperate need of an escape that didn’t include being between a woman’s legs.
The next morning, I couldn’t remember when I had fallen asleep. I did notice that I was incredibly tired and so I slept in. At around 11, I finally got out of bed. I made myself breakfast, pouring myself some cereal. It wasn’t exactly the healthiest, but it was quick and delicious. After breakfast, I got dressed and ran some errands. It wasn’t exactly exciting, but I needed to get more groceries.
The rest of the day was spent inside. It was ridiculously hot and humid, so I blasted the AC and opened all my windows. While it helped, I was still not used to the heat, so I ended up spending most of the day lying on the couch in my underwear. It was still light when I started getting ready to meet with Javier (I guessed meeting him in my underwear would be a little forward), but the sun was starting to set as I went to meet him downstairs. I realized I never gave him my apartment number, so I would have to wait for him to arrive. Five minutes before six, I went to stand outside the entrance to my building. I didn’t wait long, considering all he had to do was cross the street.
Almost at six on the dot, as the sun was truly setting and the sky was filled with hues of pink and orange, Javier walked out the door to his building, waving at me before quickly crossing the street. To any onlookers it probably looked like we were getting ready for a date, especially with me in a floral sundress, beaming at him. He wore his normal attire, jeans, a button up shirt that was not completely buttoned up, and his favorite leather jacket. When he reached me, I said a brief “hello” before leading him up the stairs to my apartment. I was really hoping not to be seen by any of the other office staff, but much to my luck, Victoria, one of the girls who was glaring at me at lunch the day before, was exiting her apartment (which was down the hall from mine) as I unlocked my door. She seemed shocked to see Javier and I together, but the shock quickly turned into her turning around, reentering her apartment, and slamming the door. I was embarrassed at being caught with Javier, especially considering our meetings were supposed to be secret, and I didn’t look at Javier until we were safely inside my apartment.
“What’s her problem?” I questioned, but I didn’t expect an answer.
“I may have fucked her in the evidence room once or twice…” Javier responded much to my dismay.
“I’m sorry, you what? You had sex with her, at the office no less, and then what?”
“I didn’t talk to her,” he quietly responded. Despite hearing him well enough, I pressed him.
“Sorry, I didn’t hear that.” He looked at me with annoyance clear on his face, but repeated it slightly louder this time. “Huh? What was that? Need you to speak a little louder.” He rubbed a hand against his forehead, and spoke a little above his normal volume this time.
“I didn’t talk to her! Look, I know it was rude. I just… I don’t do well with feelings.”
“Did you tell her ahead of time that you didn’t want a relationship?”
“I thought it was clear?”
“My God, you are helpless,” I took a breath and sat down on my couch, motioning for him to follow. “Javier, I’m not going to tell you not to sleep with whoever you want, I’m not on some moral high horse. But you have to at least communicate with people about what you want before you sleep with them.” I paused. “I will do my best to communicate with you. I do not want to have sex with you, and while I am open to romantic relationships in general, I am not actively looking for one. What I am hoping to get out of relationship is friendship. Is that okay with you?” I waited for him to respond. He was still standing besides the couch. He looked quite uncomfortable, as if trying to find an escape, but eventually he sat down.
“I…” He took a deep breath. “I think we are on the same page. Friends.” I smiled at him and he seemed to relax. “Are you sure about the sex part?” he teased.
“Javi. Don’t push it,” I chastised.
“Okay, okay.” He responded throwing his arms up in mock surrender.
“You brought the wine, right?” He pointed to a bottle he had placed on my table. “Great! Can you open it while I get our supplies?”
“Sure.” He responded, moving towards my kitchen. I walked out of my room with a basket of yarn, needles, and patterns just as he finished pouring two glasses of wine. “You know, I’m more of a whiskey guy, I can’t remember the last time I had wine.”
“I’m not surprised. I might have to buy a bottle for next week.” Javier moved towards the couch, where I had sat down and placed the basket of supplies. He placed a glass of wine on the coffee table in front of me and sat down on the other side of the basket. I noticed him fidgeting. “You can smoke if you want. I don’t mind.”
He smiled, put down his glass of wine, and pulled out a pack of cigarettes, pulling one out and lighting it. The sight of the cigarette hanging from his lips was oddly erotic and I couldn’t help but reach out and grab it from him before taking a drag of it. I handed it back to him a little embarrassed, especially with the way his eyes were on me. I quickly handed him some knitting needles and a ball of yarn.
“Okay so to knit we need to cast on.” I started showing him the easiest way to cast on, and after a few tries he got it. “Great! Now just continue casting on until you have the right number of stitches. We’ll start by just making a square, so I would recommend doing maybe 15, 20 stiches to start, that way you don’t have to knit a million rows.” He followed my instruction, fumbling with the cast on method a couple of times, but quickly fixing it before I needed to get involved.
I was doing the same thing he was with my own pair of knitting needles. And was diligently working to catch up to him (as I spent most of my time focusing on teaching him) when he looked over to me and spoke.
“So, what now, professor?” He was teasing me, and I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Now you have to actually knit. There are two ways to ‘knit’, knitting and purling. Those two make up all patterns. Purling in my opinion takes longer to learn, so we’ll only focus on traditional knitting. When you knit with only knit stitches, it’s called a garter stitch. That’s what we’ll do.” I positioned his hands correctly, trying to ignore the spark that ran through me when our hands touched. I taught him to knit the way I knew best, English knitting. He caught on quite quickly, but a few rows in I noticed that his tension was too tight.
“Relax. No need to pull the yarn so hard. If it’s looser it will make it easier.” He sighed before relaxing his hands a bit. Soon enough we were in a content silence, the only sound being our knitting needles as they hit each other. I was enjoying having company for once, enjoying his friendship, when Javier made a low growl. I felt heat burning in my core, but resisted the urge to jump on him as I tried to focus. We were here to knit, we were here to knit. I finally looked over and he showed me a whole in his piece.
“How did I mess up?” He seemed very frustrated, the lines in his face prominent as he frowned.
“You dropped a stitch, happens to the best of us. But the issue with knitting is it’s really hard to fix it. You have to completely unravel all your work after that point, and then redo it. For the first time, it’s not worth doing all that work again. It looks really good.”
He looked over at my work. I was already done with my 15 by 15 stitch square, while he was only about halfway.
“How are you already done?”
“Practice. You’ll get there.”
He groaned when he noticed he was out of wine and there was no more in the bottle. I looked at the time and noticed it wasn’t late yet, but I was getting hungry.
“I’m starving. Do you want to order something? I don’t really know any good places nearby…”
“I’m hungry too. There’s this place that makes great arepas. It’s a couple blocks down. We could take a break and go and eat if you want?” I agreed and grabbed my keys.
The walk was calm, but I was happy to have him as it was dark. The gun in the back of his pants was reassuring as well. After a few minutes we got to the restaurant. It was a small hole in the wall type of place, and it was pretty empty. We ordered our food, choosing to forgo any alcohol after having drank the full bottle of wine earlier between the two of us. It was quiet but not uncomfortable so.
“Do you bring all your girls here?” I joked. He stiffened and I worried I had messed up. Then he relaxed.
“Only the ones who are too pretty to sleep with on the first date.”
“So, this is a date now? What happened to friends?”
“Oh, I didn’t mean to… I know, boundaries, sorry.”
“Calm down, I’m just messing with you. If this is a date, it’s the best date I’ve been on in a long time.”
“If this is a date, it’s the only date I’ve been on in a long time,” he retorted.
“Who would have thought the badass, womanizer DEA agent didn’t just have a heart, but enjoyed knitting?”
“I swear to god if you tell Steve, I’ll never hear the end of this.”
“Oh my God! We should totally knit something for Steve! Sweaters are not very useful in Colombia, nor are hats… What about a stuffed animal? It’s a bit more advanced than where you are at, but it can be our goal. Doesn’t he have a baby? She would love that.”
“Wait, could we make a cat?” He asked with mischievous but playful energy behind his eyes.
“Sure! Why not?”
“He’s going to kill me.” Javier whispered under his breath as the food came.
We ate happily. Javi would tell me stories of his near-death experiences, and I would listen. Dinner passed quickly and soon enough we were walking home. He mentioned that it wasn’t that late yet, and he didn’t want to night to end, so I asked if he wanted to watch a movie I had rented. He nodded and we made our way back up to my apartment, putting away knitting supplies and bringing out warm blankets. The movie was one of my favorites, Star Wars, but I was realizing how tired I was. I was trying not to fall asleep, but I couldn’t help it. The last thing I remembered was unconsciously snuggling into Javi’s chest when he wrapped an arm around me.
