We KNOW about the pinky ring () for Javi G, but it got my tiny brain wondering: what adornments do the others wear?
Frankie’s accessories are laden with meaning - dog tags, wedding ring, and the same cap he bought in a convenience store after his first buzzcut. But nasty, oversized belt buckles are his indulgence - the uglier the better - and he grins every single time you roll your eyes at him sauntering over to the belt section of the thrift store.
Weapons might be part of his religion, but like anyone who expresses through their clothing will tell you, he feels naked without them. Like he isn’t him. It perplexed you at first, the amount of time he took carefully choosing them before each and every trip out of the crest - even to visit friends. But then it became a language. Pulse rifle to intimidate, knives to conceal. The darksaber meant he was scared. But the blaster, the blaster was there for him to run his thumb over when he felt out of place, to rest his hand on when he cocked his hip. It was safety.
Joel wears his beat up leather jacket every day of his life, even in the summertime. He also still keeps a wallet in the back pocket of his jeans even after the apocalypse. It’s full of little momentos - a photo of Sarah, a sketching of Ellie’s - and if you open the page, a dried bushel of white flowers you’d tossed his way. It was early on, and he’d scolded you for being so flippant, but secretly tucked the tiny blooms into his pocket.
Dieter wears cheap ass rings from thrift shops and dollar stores. Partially because he’s a creature of whims and cannot resist shinies, but also because he loves telling the rich and famous they’re priceless designer items with a choked back grin.
Javier Peña wears his mother’s long gold chain tucked under the collar of his shirts. He took the pendant off, left it in his untouched room back in Texas, but the chain is warm against his skin. A reminder that he was once whole and loved.
Din was thrilled from the moment you announced your pregnancy, he would sit down with Grogu explaining the responsibilities of a big brother.
When you give birth, he helps you. It was his fault that you were on a deserted planet after all. He feared the worst, but you were strong and so was your child.
When he first held his daughter, she was still covered in blood, but in his eyes, she was the definition of perfection.
Jack Daniels
This wasn’t the first time he was about to become a father, but this was the time he was super cautious. Making sure you were safe at every second, he doesn’t want to go through the same pain as before.
When you gave birth, he was on a mission. He was called by Ginger and he immediately dropped everything. But he was late.
By the time he arrived to the hospital, you were sleeping and so, he let you sleep while he walked over to the glass so he could see his child. And surely enough Jack found him. The only baby with just a last name, meaning you wanted to wait until he was there to name him.
He felt a tear fall from his eyes as he looked at him, he knew he would do anything to keep his family safe.
Marcus Moreno
It was a quiet night, everyone was sleeping when you woke up. Marcus didn’t even move an inch when you got out of bed. You were in desperate need to pee.
But on your way back to the bed, you felt a terrible pain.
Of course, when you woke Marcus up, he was running around like a chicken without a head, thank God for Missy who was able to help you out.
This wasn’t the first time Marcus her his own baby and standing there he wouldn’t want this to be the last either. He cried. Tears rolling down his face while he held his youngest daughter.
Of course, Missy took multiple pictures of him which she planned on blackmailing her father later on in his life.
Oberyn Martell
Childbirth was something he was used to. He had many daughters before you even came into the picture.
But this was the very first time he held a son and not a daughter. It felt special, and as much as he loved his daughters, his heart still felt a different way to see the youngest addition to his ever-growing family.
He swore his entire life to protect him as he would be his rightful heir. You even caught a glimpse of a tear running down his cheek before he whiped it.
Javier Pena
Panic wouldn’t even begin to describe what he went through that day. He thought he would rather go after another Escobar guy instead of going through this hell, and he didn’t even had to do anything. He held your hand and that’s all. You did all the work.
His mind often went to that dark place, that dark place which told him to just run, leave and never come back, but he stayed.
And that dark voice in the back of his head disappeared when he held his daughter for the first time. And how glad he was that he didn’t leave.
Tiny little girl with his eyes. Perfection. He just stood there, frozen as he looked at her. Not even giving her to the nurses when they asked.
Pero Tovar
After your third child you thought Pero would have enough. You thought he would have enough and not want more children. But you were wrong. Two girls and a boy weren’t enough. He wanted more. And you were happy to give him more.
Each birth was more terrifying to him than the last. He loved his children all the same and he just loved you a little more as he held his second son. Each time he was reminded just how amazing you were and it made his heart explode.
Him, a rough swordsman, such a soft and kind father and husband. He never saw himself in that position. As you finally fell asleep, he watched the kids, showing them his youngest, like the proud father he was.
When you crash-land on a frozen planet on your way to Trask, you and Din work together to keep the Crest afloat and keep your little family safe under the cold night sky.
After a botched raid, you and Javi both need a cigarette. Sitting together on the sidewalk outside the embassy, you find out you both need each other too.
You partied a little too hard with the boys last night; lucky for you, you married a man who’s really good at taking care of you while you’re hungover.
When your move into your first house as Mr. and Mrs. Morales is interrupted by a thunderstorm and power outage, you and Frankie remind each other that even an empty house can be a home if you’re together.
Frankie “Catfish” Morales x Reader || smut (18+ only) || College AU
High off your asses and half-asleep watching Deep Space Nine, you and Frankie say some things you might not have said sober - but that doesn’t make them any less true.
Summary: After a botched raid, you and Javi both need a cigarette. Sitting together on the sidewalk outside the embassy, you find out you both need each other too.
Pairings: Javier Peña x DEA Agent!Reader
Genre: hurt/comfort, fluff, friends to lovers | Word Count: 3k
Warnings: canon-typical violence, ptsd, smoking
A/N:Somebody called for “local gruff DEA agent is secretly a softie with the girl he loves” with a side of angsty love confession? This one’s for you! ♡
“Javi. Cigarette.”
He cast you a sidelong glance as you sat next to him on the edge of the sidewalk, his gaze lingering only a moment before he reached into the pocket of his jacket and withdrew a pack of smokes. He handed you one, flicked his lighter on for you, and frowned at you.
“What?” you said around a drag. The nicotine immediately flooded your system, quieting some of the shaking in your hands that you were trying very hard to hide.
He shook his head. “Since when do you smoke?”
You held the cigarette between two fingers and pressed the heels of your palms against your eyes, warding off a headache.
“You’ve only known me for a few months, Javi,” you said. You’d started at the embassy a little over six months ago, put on Javi and Steve’s intelligence team by Ambassador Noonan. Though you stayed in the office at the embassy most of the time, you’d gotten to know both men very well. Perhaps too well, in Javi’s case.
It was quiet. You were almost asleep, drowsing in the warmth of the bed, listening to the sound of your own breathing. You felt the familiar weight around your body, and felt the strong chest against your back. Your skin had been caressed by the soft lips an hour ago, and now those lips were brushing against the back of your neck.
The dim light from the streetlamp shed an orange tone on the room. It has been raining all day, but Javier’s warmth made you comfortable and cozy. You snuggled closer, taking a deep breath in satisfaction. A loud bang made you jump and wince; the noise came from outside, but not far from the house. Javier was already on his feet, his figure stood like a shadow in front of the window.
“Stay down!”
You did as he told you, lying motionless under the covers. Javier was holding onto his gun, while scanning the street. Even in the half lit room, you could see that tipical stern expression on his face that always appeared whenever he was in deep concentration. For some reason, it made you calm. You knew if he payed attention to something like that, nothing bad could happen.
“Kids,” he said finally, and put down the gun, relieved. “It’s all right.”
You nodded and waited for him to come back to bed. When he did, you rested your head on his chest, and he welcomed you in his arms without hesitation. You could feel your heart beating with a thousand miles per hour. You knew that Javier felt it, too.
“It’s all right,” he said soothingly, while gently caressing your back. “I’m here.”
“I know,” you said shakily. “It’s just… ever since…”
“I know, Cariño.”
You fell silent. Even though Javier totally understood, you still felt ashamed. The attack on you had happened only two months ago. Yes, it had been for a while. But at the same time, it still lived vividly in your head.
You shivered.
“Are you okay?” Javier spoke softly, as if he was afraid that his tone would harm you.
You looked up to him. His face was shadowed by the darkness, but you could still make out his features if you really tried. The fuzzy hair, the shape of his nose, the mustache and the soft lips. You chose the lips, pressing a soft kiss onto them.
“Stay with me and I’ll be okay,” you said, feeling absolutely vulnerable. You hated exposing yourself like this. But at the same time, you couldn’t help it. When Javier was with you, you couldn’t hold back.
“You know I’m trying,” he said, reaching for your face and placing your hair behind your ears. “Soon —”
“I know,” you said quickly, because you didn’t want him to believe that you were selfish. Escobar and his men were facing serious danger now, and everyone felt in their bones that the end of his reign was coming. “I meant… I just innocently wish that you could stay a little longer.
You sighed and chuckled at your ridiculous wording.
“Innocently?” Javier asked teasingly. “I don’t know about that.” He kissed you delicately, then pressed soft kisses all over your face. When he pulled away, he took a deep breath as if he wanted to say something, but then stopped.
“What is it?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Come with me to America.”
Silent fell on the room. You chuckled.
“What are you talking about?”
He didn’t respond. In the darkness you couldn’t see his eyes and it drove you mad.
“Javi?”
“They’re sending me back.”
“What do you mean they’re sending you back? Why?”
“I don’t think you should hear it.”
His voice was low and rusty, all the warmth had disappeared from it. You asked cautiously.
“Did you… do something —”
“Bad? No…”
“Illegal?”
He stayed silent and your stomach formed into a tight knot. You reached for his face, cupping his cheek.
“Did you do something… shady, so that you could help more people?”
You felt him nodding. You swallowed. You had seen the news. And you weren’t stupid.
“Is it… something about the Cali Cartel?”
Quiet.
“Javier?”
“Yes.”
“And they’re sending you home for it?”
“Yes.”
“When?”
“Tomorrow.”
“What?!”
You sat up, fully awake, outraged. You looked down on Javier’s dark silhouette.
“Why are you only telling me this now?”
His voice sounded bittersweet.
“Cause I knew you wouldn’t come with me.”
“And?”
“And I didn’t wanna spend our last day with saying our goodbyes.”
“Why?” you asked, hurt. “Cause it’s not your style?”
He stayed quiet for a few second before he answered.
“Yes.”
You felt your throat hurting, you felt your eyes stinging. You turned away, facing the other side of the room. You didn’t wanna cry. But you felt so betrayed. Again.
A hand appeared on your back and Javier sat closer to you, gently pulling you to himself.
“I’m sorry. I thought I was doing something right. I fucked up.”
“You did,” you answered at once.
“It had no intention to hurt you.”
You nodded, but didn’t respond. Simply accepting the thought to say goodbye to Javier was outrageous. You felt incredibly anger in you towards him for keeping this from you. But at the same time, you didn’t want to hold grudges if he really had to leave. And, nevertheless, you felt panic building up inside you, knowing that he’s going to leave. You didn’t want him to leave. You had stayed in this country mostly for him. He knew how to talk to you. He knew how to make you calm, or hype you up. He knew the little things that made you happy, and he knew how to be there for you whenever you needed him. And you needed him. Just as much - and now you surely knew that it was true - he needed you.
“So where would we go?”
You felt him turn to you.
“We?”
“Yes. Where would we go?”
He placed a small kiss on your shoulder.
“Texas.
You shook your head in disbelief.
“Texas. And where would we live?”
“In my family home. Maybe not far from it.”
“And what’d we do?”
He chuckled and kissed your neck, whispering.
“You’d meet my dad. He’d love you. We’d also go to visit all the family. I have some cousin who is about to get married. I’d take you to the weding. Show you off. Then, when no one is watching, we’d sneak out, get in the car, and I’d drove us to a place that I visited a lot when I was younger. You can see the whole city from up there, with the stars abo —”
“When did you get this romantic?” you cut him off. You turned around to look into his eyes. The beam from the streetlamp painted them in the color of chestnut. Around them, wrinkles lined his face. He was smiling.
“Since I really want to impress you.”
You nodded and turned back. You really didn’t know what to do. You came here to start a new life. To find yourself. To leave this all behind again would be… would be…
“But you don’t have to come,” said Javier huriedly. “If it’d be too much… I don’t wanna force you to —”
“I’ll come with you,” you said. It was strange, but you felt it to be right. “But only because it’s you. I doubt that staying here will make any sense if you’re not here with me.”
Javier shook his head in surprise. His lips were parted as if he was breathing in a very careful manner. You loved those lips.
“You’re crazy,” he said. You smiled and kissed him gently, in a was that you had been wanting to do it for months. He melted into the kiss, holding you close to his chest. You pulled him as close as you could, your fingers playing with his hair.
“I love you,” you said, once pulling away. “And what’s another start over for me? At least now it’s with the right person.”
“I love you, too,” he said with a smile, kissing you on the cheek. “And I’d say you’re right, Cariño.”
—
Hey there!
Thank you so much for reading this little mini-series of mine. Feel free to give me your thoughts, and to check out my other storieshere.
Summary:After a lot of arguing, you finally tell Javier how you feel. But what happens after, when you find out who was behind the murder attempt on your life?
“And this is when they broke down the door?” the lady asked while writing in a notebook. You were staring at the table and answered quietly.
“Yes.”
“What happened after?”
“I… uh… I hid in the bathroom,” you voice was shaking and you felt sick. “I closed the door and… uh… pushed the cabinet in front of it. They tried to… break in and… started shooting and kicking the door.”
“For how long?”
“I don’t know,” you said, shivering. “Some time. I held the cabinet from the inside but… they were stronger. But when they kicked in the door they… heard the cars outside. The police, I guess.”
The woman wrote something, nodding. She seemed disturbingly calm.
“And this is when they grabbed you?”
“All right, that’s enough.”
Javier, who had been standing behind you in the corner of the interrogation room, now stepped closer and gently grabbed your shoulder. You fell at ease at once and took a deep breath. The woman looked up, raising an eyebrow.
“We need to get the details of the incident.”
“I can give you the rest,” Javier said impatiently and opened the door. “Come by my office whenever you like.”
The woman didn’t answer. She looked at you but you casted down your eyes. You felt really uneasy. Finally, she gathered her papers and left for the door, but not before she stopped in front of Javier.
“No wonder nothing gets done around here, Peña.”
“What a shame,” he said without the least amount of compassion, then shut the door.
You reached for your glass of water on the table and started sipping it. Javier pulled the woman’s chair over and sat down next to you.
“Are you okay?”
You shrugged, avoiding his gaze. From the corner of your eyes you saw him hesitating, then he reached out, offering his hand. You took it. His warmth made you feel much more safer. You looked at him.
“I’m just trying to figure out how did they know.”
“That the picture is from you?”
You nodded. Javier gently squeezed your fingers.
“At the DEA I am the only one who knew it was from you. And not many people saw the picture itself, either.”
“I know,” you said tensely. “But someone still knew.”
“You didn’t show it to anyone, right?” he asked in an interrogative manner. You frowned.
“Of course not.”
You looked down at your intertwined fingers. You knew that he was just worried, but his stern mood made you uneasy. You were incredibly grateful to him, though. If he hadn’t shown up…
You closed your eyes, trying to calm down. You had to remember. You concentrated, trying to go over the day from months before, when you had taken the photograph. What had happened exactly? You had gone to work, you had taken photos… it had been really warm that day… Danilo had been there as well, asking you out again… after that, you had gone home, but only recognized the men on the photograph a few days after.
You opened your eyes and looked up.
“I went to the police station,” you said quietly. Javier leaned closer.
“Go on.”
“When I had the picture… I went to the police station with it. I didn’t know what to do.”
Javier sat up straight, his face in deep concentration.
“Did you show it to anyone?”
“No,” you shook your head at once, trying to pierce things together. “No, I didn’t… I only…I…”
“What?” asked Javier impatiently. He looked tense. “What is it, Liz?”
“I showed it to Danilo,” you said slowly, frowning. “But he can’t… he couldn’t…”
You locked eyes with Javier and witnessed how he realized the meaning behind your words. His face darkened by the second.
“When was the last time you talked to him?” he asked tensely.
“Yesterday,” you said at once, thinking. “He… He wanted to hang out, he… asked me if I was home.”
Javier looked up, alert.
“He didn’t show up.”
“No,” you shook your head. Then quickly added, “he was supposed to come over later, I’m not sure if… Where are you going?”
“Stay here.”
“Javier!” you stood up, too, standing in his way. “Where are you going?”
“I’ll pay your friend a visit.”
You felt all the blood leaving your face. You started shaking your head vehemently.
“Are you insane? It’s bad enough that I even had the idea to think he did something… What if I’m wrong and he’ll hate me forever?”
Javier stopped and closed his eyes in concentration. When he looked at you again, his face was dead serious.
“You’re telling me that he saw the picture.”
“Yes.”
“And he called you yesterday.”
“Yes, but…”
“He still hasn’t shown up,” he said, cutting you off.
“Yes, but…”
“Liz!”
“We can’t be sure, Javier! If we mess this up… He’s my friend! He’ll never forgive me if I accuse him of something like this!”
“He still needs to be investigated!”
“Please!” You grabbed his arms desperately, “I don’t want you to break down his door and arrest him!”
“Oh, it’s not gonna be just me. I’m calling a team.”
“Please, Javier,” you were literally begging now. “Please, let me call him!”
“So he can realize what’s going on? Hell no.”
“I just wanna talk to him…”
“If you call him, you’ll let him know we’re coming!”
“Then I’ll go over,” you said, determined. Javier’s already stressed face turned even more tense.
“No fucking way. If he had any connection to yesterday’s….”
“Why wouldn’t you just let me —”
“Because I don’t wanna lose you!”
You took a step back in surprise. Javer was panting, his expression angry, his muscles tense. He was clenching his jaw and you could see how hard it was for him to talk in a low voice.
“I am not going to lose you. After yesterday… No way. There’s just no way.”
He opened the door, but before stepping out, he turned back slightly, talking to the floor.
“I’ll call you later. Let you know what we found out. After that, I’m buying you a fucking ticket home.”
He stepped out of the room and turned left on the hallway. You were tearing up. You just couldn’t believe that one of your very small group of friends would betray you. And you knew how hurtful it would be for Danilo, if he found out that you accused him of anything like this. Javier had no right. He had no right doing this. You wiped your tears away and followed him outside, shouting at his back.
“I hate you!”
He stopped, but didn’t turn around immediately. You thought he was going to be angry, but quite the opposite: he looked distressed, almost in agony. His eyes met yours across the hallway.
“I’d rather have you hate me, than be dead.”
Then he left and you didn’t follow him.
——
Through the whole afternoon you sat by the phone in your office. You didn’t want to talk to anyone. Your tears had stopped by then, but the guilty feeling did not pass. You couldn’t stop thinking about Danilo. He had always been so nice to you. He had always been there for you, whenever you needed him. And now, thanks to you, your friendship was coming to a painful end. He had stood by your side when you felt down. He had been there when Javier had not. He… he had promised to come over yesterday… But he had not shown up.
You closed your eyes and took a few deep breaths. You were so confused. You wanted to go for a walk to clear your head. You stood up and left your office, heading outside. However, something stopped you. Around the main office, where Javier’s and Steve’s desks stood, the ususal buzzing of the place was missing. To be exact, there were very few people around.
“Where is everyone?” you asked a passing officer in concern. He looked up, confused.
“On the raid,” he said with an accent. “The Americans requested back up on an arrest.”
You nodded, your stomach shrinking to a size of a nut. The officer went on, leaving you behind. You made a fist and then released it, shaking your hands anxiously. You had no idea what to do.
What was going on? You poured yourself a glass of water and started sipping it. The surface of the water was shaking as you were holding the cup. This can mean a lot of things. Javier requesting back up didn’t necessarily mean that he was in trouble. He might just wanted to play safe. But what if he didn’t? What if something really bad was going on? It cannot be. Please, it cannot be.
But what if it was? What if everything was true, and Danilo did have some connection to the attack on you? He had called, but never shown up. He had not tried to contact you since. And now the whole DEA is there with police back up, and you had no idea what to do.
What if Javier was right? Not even that, but… what if he really was in danger? And the… and the last thing you had ever said to him was that you hated him. You sat down on an empty chair and closed your eyes. Immense guilt was rushing through you. You hated feeling like this, and you hated that you always made statements in the heat of the moment. You hated that you always rushed into conclusions, and there was nothing left after but guilt and shame.
And so you waited.
You had to force yourself not to check the clock every ten seconds. You forced yourself to keep calm, to think about something else. It was horrible, and always had been… waiting for Javier to return from a mission… from a mission that was not guaranteed to be a successful one.
But you didn’t want to think about that. So you waited.
It felt like an incredibly long time had passed, when finally you heard noises and people from around the front of the building. You stood up, rushing through the hallway, heading for the crowd. The first two man you passed were in green uniform, holding a rifle in their hands. The next second you saw a pair of cops, leading someone in cuffs. As you stepped closer, with a painful sting in your heart, you recognized Danilo. You had seen him before he saw you, but when he did, the usual smile and the sparkle in his eyes were missing.
“Danilo!” you tried to get to him, but the cops didn’t let you. “Let me — !”
“Can’t do,” said one of the cops sternly. “Ma’am, please step away.”
“He didn’t do anything!” you said, panicking. The first cop narrowed his eyes.
“Ma’am, he attacked three police officers during his arrest and killed one agent. I order you to let us through.”
“Kill… what?”
But they left, pushing you aside. Danilo didn’t even look at you, he kept his head low. You wanted to scream. You wanted to run after him, making sure he’s okay. But then the words of the officer slowly crawled into your mind, and you stepped back, trying not to faint.
Killed one agent.
You sprinted down the stairs, running towards the entrance, where you knew the arriving task force would be. Your heart was beating rapidly and you started to feel sharp pain in your chest. You were looking everywhere; every passing agent, every arriving officer… but none of them was him. You started panicking and ran outside to where a lot of cars were still arriving.
You stopped for a second, until you were able to take a deep breath. Then, you started scanning through the crowd, stumbling uncertanly among the people. You were sure that they would take the injured to the hospital. What about the dead? Where would they take the dead?
You couldn’t take it anymore. Panick and fear made your heart race, and blood was throbbing in your ears. You started running again, more desperate and scared with each passing second. You couldn’t breath. You couldn’t see. He was not there. He was not there.
And then he was.
“Javier!” you screamed and started running. He didn’t hear you. “Javier!”
He turned around just in time to catch you, crashing against his chest. As soon as you wrapped your arms around him, all the fear and panick left your body. With relief came the tears; you were sobbing into his shoulder while Javier firmly pulled you to him, his strong arms around your back.
“Hey…” he said gently, and you heard the worry in his voice. “It’s okay…”
“I’m so sorry!” you sobbed, hugging him as tight as you could. “I’m s-sorry! I don’t hate you!”
“Oh…” he said in a surprised tone. Then, he gently brushed his fingers through your hair. “That’s good to hear.”
You pulled away from him, but only to look into his eyes. He seemed confused, distressed… sad.
“I don’t hate you,” you said again.
“I know,” he said, his brown eyes full of kindness and care.
“I love you,” you said, without thinking.
It happened faster than lightning, and his lips were on yours, his hands still on your back, pulling you closer and closer. You melted into his arms, taking in his smell and the taste of his lips on yours. Adrenaline was coursing through your body once again, but this time you craved it. And you were holding onto him as well, wanting more and more. You felt safe. You felt free. And you were happy. Once his lips left yours, you didn’t back away, and neither did he. He placed a small kiss on your cheek, then one on your forehead. You raised your head to meet his eyes. Finally, you smiled.
“Fucking finally,” he said, his voice unusually warm. You smiled and gently caressed his cheek, feeling stubble under your fingers.
Then, the bubble around you burst, and you were aware of your surroundings again. People were still talking around you, and there was still something left to do. You casted down your eyes.
“Who died?”
Javier clenched his jaw. He looked away, chewing on his tongue, then answered with his eyes narrowed.
“Juarez.”
You nodded. You had barely seen the guy, but it was enough to make you feel sick. You locked eyes with Javier.
“I need to talk to him.”
“That son of a bitch was about to escape when he started shooting people. There’s no fucking way I’ll let you go in that room.”
“He’ll be in cuffs,” you said. “Please. He might talk to me. I need to know what happened.”
He was thinking for a long time, but you didn’t give in. And Javier knew you wouldn’t. He nodded slowly, chewed on his tongue a bit more, then said:
“I’ll be on the other side of the door. And you won’t go near him. No contact. You’ll only talk.”
“Okay,” you said quickly, agreeing before he’d change his mind.
“And if I say time’s up, if I say he’s about to play rough, you come out. Immediately.”
“Yeah,” you said, suddenly eager to act. Javier nodded.
“Fine. Let’s go.”
Once inside, Javier lead you to the room where you first met him, the day you had come in with the photograph. You stopped uncertainly before the door, eyeing the two guards standing in front of it. You felt Javier’s hand on your back.
“You don’t have to go in.”
“I want to,” you said, feeling detemined but anxious. Javier nodded.
“I’ll be here. You’ll have around ten minutes before we need to properly question him.”
You took a deep breath and grabbed the doorknob. You opened the door slowly and stepped inside.
Danilo was sitting by the table, his hands tied together. As you closed the door and took a few steps towards him, he looked up.
“Hi,” you said, feeling shy and nervous.
“Hi,” he said indifferently. You were unsure where to start. You were also unsure whether you wanted to start at all.
You took one step closer, but stopped. You felt Javier’s invisible eyes on your from behind the door.
“Are you here to help me?” asked Danilo. His usual warmth was missing from every word he said. “Or are you here to question me?”
“I’m here to ask you the truth.”
“The truth.”
He raised his eyebrows. He looked like a completely different person as he leaned back on his chair, coolly, dismissively.
“The truth is that I’ve asked you out twenty seven times. Did you know that?”
“N…no,” you said uncomfortably. You were not sure where this was going.
Danilo shrugged.
“I could’ve protected you.”
“What are you talking about?”
You felt extremely nervous. Danilo’s strange behaviour made you uneasy as hell.
“You should’ve just given me that fucking picture. But you had to run to the DEA, didn’t you?” he chuckled darkly, then his cold smile faded. “You had to run to that fucking Peña.”
He spat. You jumped in shock.
“You said a lot of cops were dirty,” you started, your voice shaking. You didn’t want to believe what was happening. “D…did you mean yourself?”
“I never lied to you, did I?”
You felt the whole room spinning.
“I can’t believe this,” you said, tearing up. “You… Did you mean yourself?!”
“I could’ve protected you,” you mumbled coldly. “I could’ve given you a good life.”
“We… we were just friends.”
He stared. He stayed quiet while he looked you up and down, then leaned forward and started speaking very fast.
“Should’ve been more. Liz, you were always so self-absorbed, you didn’t even see the possibilities we could’ve had. Through my connections… With you by my side…”
“You’re crazy,” you blurted out. Danilo didn’t like it.
“I am the crazy one? You stayed in the country, despite the fact that the whole fucking cartel was after you!”
“You knew about that?” you asked, stunned. A horrible thought occured to you. “Did you know about the attack on me as well?”
Danilo shrugged while not taking his eyes off you.
“Who do you think told them where to find you?”
You gasped for air while your brain was trying to process this information.
“All… all because I didn’t go out with you? All because… how can you… I trusted you!”
He slammed the table so fast it caught you by surprise. He stood up, kicking his chair behind, his face furious.
You never heard what he wanted to say. The door on your right opened, and Javier appeared with Murphy by his side.
“All right motherfucker, calm down,” said Murphy, pointing at him from a distance. He kept his other hand on his belt, ready to grab his gun.
“You okay?” Javier stepped to you, gently cupping your face. You needed a moment, but then nodded.
“Yeah. Let’s get out of here.”
And fighting your tears, you left the room, ready to never see Danilo again.
Summary: Even though they admitted their feelings, Liz and Javier don’t talk, until one day when she needs him more than ever, when her life is in danger. Will Javier be able to save her?
Warnings: Cursing, Blood, Death, Angst, very little fluff at the end
It was stupid to think that Javier could ever feel the same way about you. You despised your naive thoughts and hopes, and you absolutely hated how hurt you were. You were not supposed to feel like that. You knew he didn’t deserve it. You knew it had been a pipe dream, you knew you had just been a toy to him, and you knew that he wasn’t into you. Maybe to fuck, sure. You knew his ways. But you also knew that you didn’t want to involve him in your life anymore.
However, Javier thought otherwise. He made extra effort to talk to you every single day. He was always waiting for you in your office, determined to talk to you, desperate to explain, to make it right. You were sick of it, especially since you craved those times when you had spent hours together. But you stayed strong, even on those days when you wanted nothing but fall into his arms. You wanted to give in so bad… but what stopped you was the things you had seen. You had watched Javier charm other women to get what he wanted… it was just his way of doing things. A slight touch on the arm, the cupping of the cheeks… eventually they had all given in.
But you were too ashamed. You felt humiliated. So you stood your ground. Until the next Wednesday, when he caught you off-guard while you were looking for some old negatives in a room full of useless old files.
Your eyes went wide as you saw him standing there. He was wearing a light suit and tie, but his hair was all messed up. He closed the door and with a stern expression on his face, he pointed a finger at you.
“I’m ending this bullshit. You won’t let me come clean for weeks now.”
“Well, maybe that’s because I don’t want to hear whatever you want to say,” you said, taking a step back.
“At least give me a chance.”
“I don’t want to,” you said, determined to end the conversation. Javier took a step closer.
“Liz… please. I…”
“I don’t care,” you said loudly and clearly. His pleading eyes broke your heart.
“Leave me alone Javier.”
He suddenly narrowed his eyes.
“Why do you care so much?”
“Excuse me?” you said, questioning him. He chewed his tongue, thinking.
“Why is what happened such a big deal for you?”
You felt really uncomfortable. You tried to keep your reaction to the minimum, but it was hard.
“I couldn’t care less about what happened.”
He snorted.
“Liar.”
“What the —”
“Do you feel something for me?”
“What?” you said, now alarmed. Javier was intensely locking eyes with you. You stepped back, hitting the edge of your table. There was no way out. “Do you feel something for me?” he said again, this time barely louder than a whisper. His eyes were full of hope and pleading. Once again, you found yourself longing for him, not wanting to do anything but kiss those beautiful lips so close to yours. You had to gather every strength to answer.
“No.”
You wanted to look away but he didn’t let you. His eyes kept yours as their prisoners, and there was no escape. You became very conscious of your breathing. It was hard to breath. Javier closed the distance between the two of you, leaving only an inch of space. He seemed determined, but uncertain at the same time. He was still whispering when he spoke.
“What if I do?”
“What… What do you mean?” you said, barely able to form the words. He was just… so close.
“What if I… feel something for you?”
The question hang in the air. Javier glanced at your lips. It was a quick glance but you didn’t need more. You pushed him away in rage and shouted.
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
He looked shocked.
“What is wrong with you?”
“Do you seriously want to tell me, that you have feelings for me? After what you’ve done?!”
“I thought you didn’t care wh —”
“Oh, shut up, of course I care!”
“But you said —”
“Of course I have feelings for you!” you said, totally letting down your guard. You just didn’t care anymore. Also, you were extremely angry. Javier, however, lit up.
“So you’ll say we can… you know.”
“You cannot be serious,” you said, shaking your head in disbelief. Javier frowned.
“Why? What do you want from me?”
“I don’t know, maybe don’t bring a hooker next time when I’m coming over.”
You went around him and headed for the door. He called after you in despair.
“Liz, come on, I’m… I’m really sorry about —”
“You’ve hurt me, Javier,” you said, looking over your shoulder. “You had feelings for me, and you were still fucking around… I feel awful. I just wanna forget that we ever met.”
“Can’t we try again?” he asked hopefully, casting down his eyes. You shook your head.
“You really are an asshole.”
And with that, you left.
——
Javier didn’t look for your company anymore. You missed him immensely, and you couldn’t stop thinking about what he had told you. But at the same time, your pride was bigger and your urge to forgive, and that made it really hard to just go up to him and talk about what happened. So you didn’t talk at all.
Instead, you spent most of your freetime alone, or with Danilo. It wasn’t as easy being aound him than it was with Javier, but you were fine. It helped to have some company, especially since you felt as if you were back on square one, considering the friendships you had made since being here.
“How about I’ll come over later?” Danilo asked on the phone. You rolled your eyes, but didn’t mind that much. “Will you be at home around six?”
You looked at the clock, it was a little after five. You nodded.
“Sure. Sounds good.”
“All right. See you, then.”
You hung up the phone and took the Spanish dictionary to finish a homework you had for the weekend class. It was nice, learning new things. You just wished that life was easier, and you would be able to concentrate on this thing. You constantly forgot what you were doing; all you could think of was the emptiness in your stomach, that couldn’t be filled with any kind of food.
You went to the kitchen and poured yourself a glass of water, when you heard it. A car stopped in front of your house, its tires squeeking on the concrete. You raised your head in suspicion and looked at the clock; it was too early for Danilo to arrive. You went to the windows and peaked from behind the curtains. Outside stood a huge, red car; next to it two men in dark clothes. Both of them was holding a rifle.
Alone.
Your first thought was that you were completely alone. You were going to die, and a strange calmness came over you. It felt weird. It felt strange, knowing that this was the end.
Then, as the adrenaline kicked in, your limps started shaking and your brain froze. The fog of fear blurred your mind, and you wanted to run, you wanted to hide, but you were stuck there, looking out the window, unable to move. You watched as the two man walked up to your front door and said something to each other. You forgot to breathe.
As one of them raised his hand to knock on the door, something hit you and you were awake. You stumbled over to the phone, dialing the first and only number that came to your mind. You messed up three times because of your shaky fingers, and while you were struggling with your tears and your breathing, you heard that downstairs the door was kicked in.
There was dialing, and when you heard his voice, you actually started to cry.
“Peña.”
“Javier!” you sobbed, trying to talk as understandably as you could. It was really hard. “They’re here.”
——
Javier had never been more terrified in his entire life. The technical team behind him was ready to fight, but he had no idea what would wait for him when he arrived at your house. He drove like crazy, almost running over a couple of kids crossing the street. He honked at them angrily and cursed like a maniac. No one in the car said a word.
He thought about the last time you two had spoken. He remembered the shame and the anger in your eyes, and he remembered how guilty it had made him feel. He also remembered how horrible it had been when you had been giving him the cold shoulder. He had wanted to talk to you for so long… he had been waiting for your call… but not like this. Not with your life in danger.
He couldn’t help it. Just a for a second, but he imagined what would happen — no. No, this couldn’t be happening. It won’t be happening. Not, if it was up to him.
The only problem was, that it was not up to him.
He drove on. He had never been a praying man; but now his hands were trembling as he squeezed the wheel, and he found himself silently begging to anyone who would listen.
He turned right on your street and pushed the gas with enormous strength. The houses flew by the car, and finally, at the end of the street he saw your apartent window. In front of the house, a red jeep was standing. They were still here.
He stopped the car, and two other policemen parked theirs behind him. He got out immediately and looked up at your window. His heart was beating incredibly fast, and he had to make a huge effort not to kick in the door and run up to you by himself.
Five policemen joined him, and one of them went up to the door, ready to break in. In that moment, shots were fired upstairs, and everyone ducked. A man was standing in the window with a rifle, shooting at one of the cars. Javier, with many others fired back, but the guy disappeared behind the wall.
“We’re going i —!” Javier shouted, but was cut off by a terrible scream. His whole body froze, and fear started eating his heart. He felt like he was gonna throw up. It was you, screaming.
Another man came back to the window, but was shot immediately and fell down to the pavement. Javier heard the bones crack, and he knew that there was one problem less. He tried to focus, wanting to make a run for the entrance, but in that moment the door opened, and two people appeared in front of him.
——
“I’ll kill her!” you heard the man shouting, and you were sure that you were gonna die. You couldn’t see anything as he dragged you outside, blood, sweat and tears blurrying your sight. All you saw was a bunch of faceless people around you, and all you felt was a cold feeling on your temple.
You sobbed as you felt the man behind you moving, grabbing onto your neck. You couldn’t breath properly, and while everyone was shouting around you, all you could think of was air. You were choking, still backing away from everyone. The red car came to your view, and you whined, but didn’t dare to refuse moving.
There was intense shouting around you and you couldn’t understand a word. You were still fighting for air. At once, the man behind you stopped, and you actually had a moment to look around.
“Drop the fucking gun!”
“Let her go and we’ll make a deal!”
“Drop it!”
“Let the woman go!”
“Shoot me and I’ll kill her!”
The man behind you shouted something and you felt him grabbing you with even more force. You stumbled, almost breaking your ankle. At your head, the end of the ice cold gun was pressing into your bone.
You looked around, looking for him. And then, he was there. It felt as though everything slowed down, and the voices around you got really mushy, not coherent anymore. He was wearing a green vest, holding a gun in his hand. He was looking at you. You had never seen his face so scared, so much in agony before. Your eyes met, and in that moment you realized that you were going to die. You started panting, your tears falling again. And you saw him looking over your shoulder, then back at you, and him realizing as well, what was about to happen.
“Look at me,” you saw him forming the words, and even though you couldn’t hear him, you heard his voice in your head. “Only me.”
You nodded and sobbed, terrified. But you managed. He was holding your eyes, and you let go of everything else. It was only him existing in front of you, Javier and no one else, and you were fine with that. He kept on talking to you while all around you chaos rose. You were captivated by his eyes, and he didn’t let go of yours even for a second.
You knew something was going to happen before it had happened. Javier’s eyes left yours as he looked behind you, and a second after you heard a shot and felt yourself being pushed to the ground. The weight of the man from behind you was gone, but you didn’t dare to look up.
“Liz!”
You felt a hand on your arm and you winced and screamed, and jumped and cried. It was Javier. He was up-close, his face only a few inches away from yours. You turned around vehemently and saw the man on the concrete, his blood everywhere. His gun was fallen out of his hands, a few metres away from where he lay.
You crawled backwards, and Javier held you in his arms. You couldn’t take your eyes off the dead man on the concrete.
“Don’t look,” Javier said, and gently held onto your chin and turned your head away. You felt his hand shaking, and his eyes were full with fear.
You buried your face into his neck, and you felt his arms around you. You couldn’t breathe from the sobbing. You panted and cried, and he tried to caress your back, but it did nothing. You had never felt more scared your entire life. You were glued to him, and didn’t want to move. You were squeezing his shirt in your palm, dirtying it with your blood and tears.
“It’s all right,” you heard him whisper into your ears. He was holding you tight, and he was pressing soft kisses on your temple. “It’s okay.”
You felt him moving and you winced, holding onto him, too anxious to let go.
“It’s okay,” he said, and gently started to lift you as he stood up. “I’m just taking you away.”
He held you in his arms and carried you to an ambulance, which just arrived. He gently placed you on it’s floor, and turned back to look at all the others covering the body and going up to the flat to search it. You reached out and grabbed his hand, panicking.
“Don — don’t go!”
Your voice was barely audiable and it hurt as you spoke. Javier looked at your neck in fear, then tried with a smile and sat down next to you.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he said and cupped your cheek as you leaned against him. You grabbed onto him tight, crying, while he was soothing your back. About twenty minutes later someone came to check on you, but Javier sent them away.
You were sitting there for almost an hour. During that time, they examined your house, took the bodies away, and filled a bunch of papers, one of which Javier signed as well.
“We have to ask for your statement,” said one of the policemen, coming over to you. By this time you mostly calmed down - at least the crying was over - but you didn’t want to speak. “Miss?”
“Later,” Javier said, annoyed. He only had to take one look at you. The man nodded hesitantly.
“We need to question her tomorrow the latest.”
“Fine.”
He left and Javier leaned closer to you.
“Do you need anything?”
You shook your head slightly, barely able to pay attention to what he was saying.
“No.”
Your throat hurt as you spoke. Javier gently touched your cheek and made you look at him.
“Maybe you should get some sleep.”
You nodded, your lips trembling.
“I don’t wanna stay here.”
“You won’t. You’re gonna stay at mine.”
The police were finishing up, cleaning up the place. Somebody slammed a door with a loud thud and it made you jump. You shivered.
“It’s okay… I’m here.”
Javier look deeply in your eyes for a second, and you found yourself a bit more relaxed. His gaze calmed you and made you feel safe. You never wanted to look at anything else.
“Can we go now?” you asked, your voice raspy. Javier nodded.
“Come.” ——
Once in his apartment, Javier couldn’t take off his eyes of the bathroom door, behind which you had been washing the blood off yourself for half an hour now. His leg was anxiously shaking. All he could feel was relief, but he couldn’t think of anything else, but today. The way you looked at him while that motherfucker was holding you made his insides boil with anger and fear. Whatever would happen in the future, he knew that he will never forget what happened today.
The bathroom door opened and he stood up, looking at you. You looked absolutely miserable. Your neck had purple markes from the hands of the man and your left cheek was swollen as well. On your temple a slight cut was visible, and on your hands bruises and scars marked the skin. But the worst parts were the eyes. Javier had never seen so much sadness and despair in anyone’s eyes.
“Would you like to… drink something?” he asked lowly, not sure what to offer to help you. “Or eat, maybe?”
You shook your head, avoiding his eyes.
“I just want to sleep. Can I… can I have the couch, please.”
Despite everything that had happened, Javier couldn’t help but smile, even if it only lasted for a second. You were so incredibly innocent.
“I’ve made the bed for you. Figured you’d like the privacy.”
“You?” you asked, obviously chewing your tongue. Javier shrugged.
“I’ll take the couch. You’re sure you’re not hungry?”
“Yeah,” you said, crossing the living room. “I’m sure.”
You closed the bedroom door behind you, and all of a sudden Javier felt incredibly alone. He looked at his watch; it was only eight in the evening. He sighed, and went to the kitchen to make himself a sandwich. He wasn’t quite sure what to do with himself. He wanted to comfort you. He was sure you were feeling miserable in there, but he didn’t want to overstep any boundaries. He wasn’t even sure if you’d talk to him. Since, the two of you had not really been talking lately.
After nine o’clock, he could not take it anymore. He took a quick shower, then opened the couch and made his bed, lying down with a restrained sigh. He wished he could sleep, he wished he could forget things for a few hours. But sleep didn’t come. He was tossing in bed, struggling with insomnia. He wondered if you could fall asleep, or if you were wide awake, too.
Around midnight he heard noises from your room. It only took him ten seconds to realize that you were sniffing. He was conflicted. Should he go to you, ask whether you needed some company? Or should he just leave you alone? Should he just pretend that he doesn’t hear your crying? He didn’t want to do that. But letting you suffer just made him feel miserable.
He was thinking for an hour, but when finally made up his mind to knock on your door, he realized that the crying stopped. His heart broke to the thought of you sobbing yourself to sleep. He wished he wasn’t such a fucking idiot. He wished he had the balls to make up his mind.
He was slightly asleep himself, when he heard the bedroom door opening. He didn’t move. If you only headed for the bathroom, he didn’t want you to know that he was listening. He heard your footsteps, but they were coming from close. He heard your breathing from next to his head.
“Javi?”
He sat up at once, not pretending anymore. In the dim moonlight he saw your face covered with tears. Your lips were trembling and you were looking at him so desperately, that he thought he was going to lose his mind.
“What is it, honey?”
“I don’t wanna be alone,” you whispered, and Javier heard your voice break. He reached for your hands and held onto them kindly, as if he was holding a flower.
“You don’t have to be.”
You sobbed and he moved aside. You climbed into the bed next to him, and he opened his arms to you. You snuggled as close as you could, and Javier carefully put his arms around you; one under your head, one over your back. He felt your hands grabbing onto his shirt.
“I’m here,” he whispered into your ear, before kissing your temple. “Sleep.”
Summary: As Liz’s life is suddenly in danger again, Javier desperately tries to keep her safe. However, when she gets her heart broken, things come to a miserable end.
You were hurrying down the hallway but even before entering the main office space you saw that Javier’s and Steve’s desks were empty. You looked around nervously; a lot of familiar faces were missing.
“Trujillo!” you lit up when saw the man coming down the stairs. He raised his eyebrows, seeing you running towards him. “Hey. Do you know if Javier —”
“Not back yet,” he said, looking down at the documents in his hand. You frowned.
“How come you’re not out there with them?”
“Paperwork,” he said shortly. It was clear he didn’t want to waste his time with you. You bit your lips.
“Do you know when they’ll —”
“No. Sorry.”
He tried an apologetic look, but moved on right after. You looked around. Everyone seemed so calm and focused on their work. Were they not aware that something big and dangerous might be happening just in these minutes? You sat down onto Javier’s chair and buried your face into your hands. Your skin was burning. You tried to think about something else… but the picture you had taken months before was floating around in your mind, not wanting to leave.
Javier had said somehing about a drug lab… You remembered all those busts and killings from the news… What if something happens… What if…
“Shut up…” you mumbled into your hands and sighed. Every time. Every damn time when Javier had to work, you felt like this. Why did you have to feel like this?! All this anxiety and worry. You hated it. And you hated him, for making you feel this way — even though he had no idea that he made you feel like this.
Time crawled like a snail; sitting at the table what felt like ages was only a minute. You counted the minutes, not looking up, and slowly, painfully slowly, time went by. Fifteen minutes. Thirty minutes. An hour. An hour and a half, then two. At noon you felt your stomach rumbling, but you were unable to eat anything. At one o’clock, Trujillo left you a glass of water on the table. You took it gratefully, drinking the whole glass with three gulps.
Around three in the afternoon you saw moving around the office, and it seemed like the number of people were increasing. You looked around, nervously standing up from the table.
“What’s happening?” you said to one of the agents. “Qué pasa?”
“Drug bust,” he said with an accent. “Twelve million dollars.”
“Twelve… What?”
You turned towards the hallway, leaving behind the agent. You started walking, picking up the pace. A lot of men came towards you, causally talking and laughing with each other. Someone behind you let out a loud laugh, which made you jump.
“Liz!” hearing your name made you turn around, looking for its source.
“Javier!” you finally saw him and all the anxiety left your body in a second. You ran to him and literally crashed against his chest. He hugged you back, and you let out a huge sigh. You leaned back, looking into his eyes. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I called you at home. You didn’t pick up.”
“I came in right after you called this morning. I couldn’t stay home.”
“Why am I not surprised,” he said, unconsciously caressing your cheek. Then, something in his eyes changed. “I need to talk to you. In here.” He opened the door to a sideroom, and you stepped in. He checked the hallway for anyone listening, then closed the door behind him.
“I know we’ve already talked about this… But you need to leave.”
He sounded so serious that it actually scared you.
“What are you talking about… Is this — Is this about the drug bust?”
“Seeing how fast news travel around here is one of the reasons why you need to leave.”
“Just tell me what happened,” you said, hoping that it’ll make him forget this whole ‘you need to leave’ nonsense.
Javier chewed on his tongue, then nodded.
“I told you before that the licence plate of the car was fake. Turns out, it was made by a fake company, which had three different headquarters stated under its name. Each had an address. We went out to check them, but they all lead to empty basements and houses in comunas. We didn’t find shit. We decided to head back, when one of the tracking teams spotted the blue car not far from us. It was standing in front of a garage, so we went in and found a whole fucking kitchen with tons of cocaine bricks waiting for shipment. We made a twelve million dollar bust.
“So… what does it mean?” you asked, your voice shaky. Javier clenched his jaw.
“It means we caused them one of the biggest losses they’ve ever had.”
I did, you thought, without taking any pride in it. Your insides were filled with fear.
“What does it mean… for me?”
Javier stepped closer, examining your face. He seemed utterly concerned.
“Please, Liz… I know you don’t want to —”
“You’re right, I don’t!” you said with a sharp tone. Then, you started panting. You looked at the man in front of you with pleading eyes. “Please… I just need you to tell me that I’m gonna be okay. No one really knows that the picture is from me, if you could just —”
“There’s no guarantee that —”
“Please, Javier. Please.”
You sounded so desperate, that Javier fell silent. His whole face softened. He reached out and gently took you into his arm, resting his chin on the top of your head.
“Why are you so stubborn?” he mumbled. “If something happens… I cannot let you get hurt.”
“I —”
“Why are you doing this?”
You didn’t answer. You didn’t know. All you knew was that you didn’t want to leave. You didn’t want to leave your job, your house, your friends… you didn’t want to leave him.
“I don’t want to start all over again,” you whispered, grabbing onto his arm. His skin under your palm made you feel incredibly hot. When he spoke with his chin resting on your head, his voice resonated through your whole body.
“I promised to keep you safe. But the time will come — no, please, let me finish — the time will come, when I cannot help you anymore. When I am not enough, and you have to make a decision.”
“I don’t want to make that decision,” you said, feeling totally lost. You closed your eyes.
“Just think about it,” Javier said and reached for your face. He gently cupped your cheeks and made you look at him. “Please, Liz. Promise me that you think about it.”
You locked eyes with him, determined to say no, but you couldn’t. You saw how scared he was, maybe for the first time since you had known him. It was almost as if the mask, under which he was always covering his true emotions lifted up a little, and you could peak under it, even if only for a moment. He was worried, he was anxious, but you knew that he was angry as well… Angry at you, for being so foolish so unnecessarily, and putting your life at risk for nothing. And with a heavy heart, still looking into the eyes that looked like chocolate, you nodded.
“Okay… I’ll think about it. I promise.”
——
You felt like you were going to throw up. As the car moved across town, with every bump, with every turn you felt more and more sick. On the streets news haven’t spread yet. You could see it. There was no chaos, no news playing in the bars. It felt ridiculous.
Not in the police car. On the radio two men were talking, and you had been practicing your Spanish enough to understand what they were talking about. Your driver grabbed onto the mic and said something. One of the man on the police radio answered. You gulped nervously and closed your eyes.
Carillo had only died twenty minutes earlier you had to do your job. Evidence photographer. Fucking hell. You did not sign up for this. You did not want this. But circumstances made you the only available photographer in the moment, so you had no other choice.
As you got closer and closer to the scene, the quiet night life started to change. You saw ambulances and policecars parking on the street. To get through them, you had to show them your DEA badge. You fingers were trembling as you held up the small piece of plastic.
Your driver stopped the car and you thanked them, stretching the seconds for as long as you could. But the job had to be done. Feeling nauseous, you opened the door, and immediately stepped into something thick and sticky. You looked around on the dim-lit street and grimaced. The air was pungent. Dust, sewage, gun powder… and blood.
“Evidence photographer?” a guy appeared next to you and you nodded. “This way!”
He showed you the way, leading you through betweent two cars. You passed several policemen, but then you stopped.
“Oh, my God,” you whispered, seeing the red mess all over the concrete. Not far from where you were standing, you saw a pair of feet, two. “Oh, my God.”
It took all your effort not to throw up right there and then. You moved a bit to the left and took some pictures of a body. You didn’t want to see who it was. You stepped closer, while people were running around you, shouting things that you didn’t understand. You were on the verge of fainting.
You took another picture of someone, then looked away, desperate to see something other than blood and used bullets. As you turned, you saw two man in the distance, leaning against their car. You recognized them at once, and realization hit you like a brick.
You looked back, but no one was paying attention to you. Careful, not to look at any of the bodies, you crossed the road and hurried towards the two man.
“Javier!”
He raised his head. It took him a few seconds to recognize you, but during that time you already knew that he was not all right. His face was expressionless, his eyes cold. You slowed down and approached him carefully.
“Javier?”
Murphy only had to take one look at you and patted Javier on the back. You saw that he was not all right, either. He got up, nodded, and left without saying a word. You stepped closer to Javier. He was not looking at you. He pressed his lips together, as if deciding never to speak again.
“Javier…” your heart was breaking. You knew that he and Carillo had been really close. “Javier, I’m so sorry.”
He forced himself to look at you, but you had never seen him so distant. The usual warmth in his eyes - one of the things that made you fall for him - was gone.
“It was my intel.”
His voice was low and husky. You took a sharp breath.
“This isn’t your fault,” you said at once, knowing where this was going. “This —”
“Stop.”
He had never talked to you this way. It was like standing in front of a completely different person. He turned his head away, staring into the distance. You knew that he wanted to be alone. But you didn’t think that it was going to do any good for him.
“How about I see you later?” you gently grabbed his arm. He looked like he didn’t even hear you. “Javi?”
“Hm… Sure.”
You knew you he was somewhere else. You nodded and hesitantly took a few steps back. You wanted to help him, because seeing him like this just broke you. You wanted to make it easier for him. You wanted to be there for him. But the job had to be done. ——
It was way past eleven in the evening when you finally left the office and got into your car. You were tired, you were exhausted and drained. You wanted to take a shower, you wanted to wash away all the things that you had just seen. You wanted to sleep. But you knew that you wouldn’t be able to. You knew that you were not the only one feeling like this tonight. You thought about Carillo’s wife and kids. You shivered.
Even though it was a pleasant evening, you were incredibly cold. You reached for the backseat and grabbed something leather-like. It was Javier’s coat.
Javier.
You looked at the silent and empty road ahead of you and the thought started to form in your mind. You really wanted to see him. You didn’t want to be a bother, though. But you had promised him to see him later. Maybe he was expecting you? You could only hope so. You grabbed the jacket, and only when you felt his essence on it did you decide to go to him.
Because you needed him, too.
You thanked the whole DEA for you bulletproof car. Crossing through town in the middle of the night made you anxious and paranoid. You felt eyes everywhere, you felt like someone was watching your every move. You squeezed the wheel tensely every time you had to stop at a red light.
You stopped the car in front of Javier’s house twenty minutes later. As you turned off the engine you looked at his windows. The light were on, but it wasn’t really bright. You could imagine him sitting in a half-lit room, drinking, alone. You swallowed nervously. You hoped that coming here was really a good idea.
You got out and opened the door. You passed the stairway to Murphy’s flat, and continued your way to Javier’s door. You stopped for a second, raising your hand but not knocking just yet. Was this really a good idea?
Before you could have decided, the door opened and you found yourself face to face to one of the prettiest women you had ever seen. You stepped back in surprise, lowering your hand. She looked at you with a start, but then waved kindly.
“Oh!Buenas noches.”
The hooker sent a friendly smile at you, then called back and said something in Spanish. Then, making her way around you, left for the exit. Her heels made a clanking sound every time she took a step. You followed her with your eyes until the door closed behind her and she disappeared on the street.
“Liz…?”
You turned back, and what you saw shattered your heart into million pieces. Javier was standing in the door, shirtless, a cigarette hanging from his mouth. You connected the woman with what was in front of you, and you had never felt more ashamed in your entire life.
“Well…” you said with a weak smile, tearing up. “I guess I’ll see you around.”
You turned away, but Javier called after you.
“Liz!” he sounded desperate. “Liz, come back, let me explain…”
“No,” you said, looking at him again. He looked like he was in misery. But this time, you didn’t care. “You know what, thank you for this. Now… at least I know.”
You felt so incredibly stupid. Javier reached out to you, but you pulled away.
“Liz, please!” he pleaded. You saw that he was hurt. Well, tough shit. You were hurt, too. You realized that you were still holding his jacket.
“Here. Take it.” You threw it at him and he caught it. “You look like you need it.”
“Liz…”
“I don’t care.”
“Lizzy…”
“I don’t care, Javier,” you said, your voice trembling as you said his name. “We’re not together. Actually, thank you, for this. Now I can go back to my life, and you can continue whatever the fuck you’ve been doing.”
He looked dumbfounded. Then he took a careful step towards you. His eyes were burning.
“Liz, come in. Let’s talk, let me…”
But you shook your head. You really had to force yourself not to cry just yet.
“Please. From now on… leave me alone.
You left him with that, and found with great pleasure that this time, he didn’t follow you.
The following weeks had been hard. Every day after leaving work, you saw mothers, wives and kids leaving the police station, and you knew that they visited so that they could recollect the belongings of their deads. Seeing them made you choke, and you couldn’t help it but turned away.
You had no idea what you were supposed to do. Violence scared you to death, but at the same time you had never felt more alive, more at home than being here. And, due to the steps taken in security measures, you were well taken care of. You met with agents every week, who listed your calls and reported anything out of ordinary - luckily there was nothing suspicious going around - and whenever your schedules let you, Javier and you spent a lot of time together.
But Javier was not always there.
He went and came, going on missions, searching for evidence, executing orders. You had been so worried since the attack on the police, that you made him call you every time he finished for the day. You knew it annoyed the shit out of him, but it made you calm. Or, let’s just say, it made you less worried, until the next mission came.
Today was no different. It was way into the evening, and you were sitting by the phone, not doing anything in particular. You were just waiting. In front of you there was a Spanish - English dictionary open at the word ‘camarero’ and you were imagining scenerios where you could use that word. Well, your Spanish teacher had told you to do it.
The phone’s voilent ringing cut through the silence and made you jump; all this time living here, and the phone still scared the living shit out of you. You cleared your throat and picked up, knocking over a water bottle with your anxious move.
“Yes?”
There was some shuffle at the other end, then a low voice started to speak.
“Hey… It’s… It’s me.”
“Hey!” you leaned closer as if it made you more understandable. “Are you okay? Is everyone fine?”
“Yeah.”
He sounded really somber. It made you worry.
“Javier, are you okay?”
“Can you… Can we meet for a drink?”
“Now?” you asked. It was starting to get late.
“…Please.”
He was so unusually quiet that you were scared now.
“Sure,” you said. “The bar in an hour?”
“Okay,” he said and hung up.
——
Javier was having his second drink and he already regretted calling you. He was holding onto his glass, trying to come up with excuses on how to call off the meeting with you, but the ideas just didn’t come. It was a weak moment of his when he had called you; he had changed his mind by now. He knew that you would come and ask him all these questions. He didn’t want to talk. He wanted to drink. But who was he kidding? He also wanted to see you. You just… made it all better.
“Another one,” he signaled to the bartender and he refilled his glass. “Thanks.”
“I hope that’s for me,” you said suddenly, appearing out of nowhere. You took his glass and took a sip from his whiskey. You squinted. “Agh, that’s horrible. Er — Una cerveza, por favor.”
Javier looked at you with raised eyebrows.
“Wow, what was that?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said innocently and drank from your beer. Javier nodded at your glass.
“Learing Spanish, I see.”
“Yeah.”
“I thought you don’t speak Spanish,” he said a bit teasingly. He got an eyeroll from you in return.
“Well, maybe that’s why I want to learn it.”
“Yeah?” he looked at you, thinking. “No other reason?”
“What is that supposed to mean?” you said with a weird expression. Almost as if you were caught doing something you shouldn’t be doing. Javier shrugged.
“Nothing.”
“Good. So what did you want to talk about?”
The alcohol in his mouth turned into acid as he forced it down. He wished you hadn’t brought it up. He wished you just wanted to talk to him about something else. Anything else.
He turned to you slowly and felt a flowery smell. It was you shampoo. He reached out slowly, gently taking a piece of your hair and tucking it behind your ear. Then, the alcohol made him cup you cheek. You seemed frozen in his hand. He wanted to kiss you so bad, it hurt.
“Can we talk about something else?” he whispered, begging you. You opened your mouth slightly, whispering back.
“Tell me what’s wrong.”
He closed his eyes, his hand still on the side of your face. You knew you felt something, too; he had seen it many times when he looked into your eyes. In fact, he had seen it in many women’s eyes before. But this was different. You were different. He didn’t just want to hook up with you. He had no idea what he wanted, but it was something worth thinking about.
He opened his eyes and pulled away his hand. As soon as light came to him once again, sharing those very intimate thoughts with you seemed impossible and stupid. He was not the sharing type. He was —
“Please,” you interrupted his inner monologue. Your eyes were shining from all the life you had in you. “You called me here. I know there was a reason.”
“I don’t know…”
“Javier —”
“I don’t want to talk about it anymore!” he said a bit more tensely. Hearing his name from your mouth didn’t help him at all. “Stop it. It’s over.”
“I know you were out this evening,” you continued, not giving up. “Something happened?”
“I really don’t —”
“You said —”
“Liz —”
“Jav —”
“I saw a kid die today!” he said miserably. “And Carillo was the one who killed him. He killed a kid to make a fucking point. Are you happy now?”
He was panting and didn’t look at you. Instead, he was staring at his hands. They were shaking. There was silence at the table for a very long time, and he was sure that he hurt you with his outburst. He already regretted telling what had happened.
A warm feeling made him blink, and he saw your hand in his, gently, carefully holding on to it. The warmth started from his palm and went all the way up his arm, shoulder, chest. He was breathing a bit easier.
“I cannot imagine,” you started, speaking very softly. “But I know that what you’re all doing is more important than anything. Because if you don’t make an end to this, people will keep on dying. And I see how hard it is on you… But I just… I hope it’ll end soon and the people will be free from under his reign. And since it is up to you, I know that it’ll end soon.”
He didn’t know how to respond to that. He cleared his throat, squeezed your hand and drank. He had to shake his head to himself.
“Cariño.”
“Yeah, I looked that word up, actually,” you said, playfully scolding. “You’re still not getting away with this.”
Javier chuckled to himself darkly and looked at his empty glass. He needed a refill again. He saw that you were eyeing his glass, too.
“Let’s dance,” you said suddenly, nodding towards the low tunes coming from the radio. Javier frowned.
“I’m not the dancing type.”
“Then let’s go for a walk,” you said quickly. “It’ll clear your head.”
“I don’t do walks,” Javier said, shaking his head. He really needed a cigarette.
“It’s not about the walks,” you insisted. Javier looked at you impatiently.
“Now what’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means that you reject the bare idea of someone helping you,” he saw that you started to get tense as well. He grimaced.
“How is a walk supposed to help me?”
“It’s not about the walk.”
“Then what?”
“Jesus Christ,” you said and took another sip from your beer. “Let’s just drink in silence, shall we?”
“Finally, an idea that gets my appreciation.
Javier knew you were being sarcastic. It looked good on you. He was searching for a packet of cigarettes in his pocket, when someone appeared next to your table.
“Liz? Hey!
He looked up. The voice belonged to a young, tall guy who was dressed in police uniform.
“Danilo?” you said with a smile. Javier felt your hand leaving his. “What are you doing here?”
“Just having a beer with the guys,” he signalled towards a table in the far back with five or six other policemen. Then, he looked at Javier with a way too nice expression. “Hey man. Peña, right? We’ve met before, haven’t we?”
“Barely,” grunted Javier. He accepted the offered hand, but shook it quickly, then retreated, lighting his cigarette.
“Anyway,” the guy was ignoring him again, now looking at you. “Monday is still on?”
“Sure —!” you started excitedly.
“Hmm, what’s on Monday?” Javier mumbled sarcastically, but luckily neither of you had heard him. Good. You would probably be furious at him.
“— I just hope it’ll worth it. There are a lot of new techniques out there, I’m not sure my…”
“Come on, Liz, your pictures are amazing. I’m sure they’ll see it, too.”
Of course, Javier remembered. You had told him about the art gallery thing where they would choose pictures of all talented photographers.
“Thanks,” you said, shooting a kind smile towards the guy. He looked at you with a gaze that made Javier bite down on his cigarette.
“Well, I’m gonna go then,” the guy nodded towards Javier. “See you later, Liz.”
You stood up and hugged him. Javier’s insides were boiling with jealousy.
“Bye, Danilo,” you said, sitting back . “See you on Monday.”
Fucking finally, the guy left and Javier exhaled the smoke angrily. You looked at him, raising an eyebrow.
“Can you stop smoking? You know I’m tryna quit.”
“Your pictures are good,” he said shortly.
“What?”
“I would’ve told you. If you had asked me. I think your pictures are good.”
“You haven’t even seen my pictures.”
“I have. When I went up to your flat a few months ago. They were on the table. You’ve got talent. Anyone who doesn’t see it is a fucking idiot.”
That seemed to shock you. Javier started thinking wether he had said something wrong. He was still bitter because of that guy of yours.
“Well… Thanks,” you said finally, with a surprised little smile.
“You know what,” Javier said suddenly and stood up from the table. “Let’s go for that walk.”
“What?” you said. “I still have half a glass of my — Javier!”
Javier took your glass and chugged the rest of your beer. Then he threw a bunch of pesos onto the table and held out his arm.
“Let’s go.”
——
You could feel from his walking that he was not drunk - oh no, it took a lot more to make Javier Peña drunk - but he wasn’t completely sober, either. He left the bar with you holding onto him, and when you made it out to the street, he looked around.
“Which way?”
“Well,” you said, pointing left. “I live that way. You can walk me home.”
“Home?” he said as you started walking. “The night is just starting.”
“Yeah, I was actually almost ready to sleep when you dragged me out of the house,” you said and he chuckled.
“Hm… Thanks for coming.”
He sounded so genuine that it made you stop and stare at him. In the dark you were barely able to make out his face, but you could still see him frowning.
“What?” he asked carefully.
You shook your head slowly. You had no idea what to answer. You were still holding onto his arm, and his face was really close to yours. He smelled so great. He was so tall. You shivered.
“Are you cold?” he murmured and moved away from you. He took off his leather jacket and placed it over your shoulders. His hands stayed on your neck and he looked into your eyes. You forgot how to breath.
“Thank you,” you whispered. Unconsciously, you stepped an inch closer to him. His hands were still gently holding the coat. You could feel the whiskey in the air between the two of you.
Suddenly a bunch of young teens burst out laughing on the other side of the street. It was like waking up from a dream. You realized that the street that felt silent was actually full of life. There were people all around you, chatting, laughing. You stepped back with an anxious feeling in your stomach, and Javier’s hands fell down to his side.
“I should walk you home,” he said, not looking into your eyes this time. You cleared your throat.
“I can… It’s all right, I can just call a taxi.”
“Yeah, let’s do that. But it’ll take me home, too.”
You nodded, and started walking with him again. You were embarrassingly careful not to touch his hand, even by accident, while walking. You only had to go for five minutes; you ended up in a busiest part of the city, and it was easy to find a free taxi there. You two did not talk during the entire way home.
You were staring out the window, determined not to look at Javier. You had no idea what was going on. No idea how you felt, either. You liked him a lot… to be honest, you liked him more than you were supposed to. And you loved being with him. He was smart, cunning and determined. But he was also intense, passionate and strong-willed. Half of the time you had no idea what he was thinking about. Half of the time you weren’t even sure if he’d like you the way you liked him.
The taxi pulled up in front of your house and you had to look at Javier to say goodbye. He had been staring out the window as well, but now he turned to you with such an intense look that you almost leaned over to kiss him. But the driver started coughing, the moment passed, and you found yourself opening the door of the car.
“Thank you for the coat. I’ll…”
“You’ll give it back later,” he said with a kind nod. You shot a restrained, shy smile at him before closing the door.
“Well… Good night.”
The car started moving, and a few seconds later it turned left at the intersection. He was gone. You searched for your keys and went up to your apartment, unable to figure out how were you feeling. Why didn’t you do something? At least you could’ve figured out if he felt the same as you. But what if he wasn’t? Now you were glad that you didn’t make a move. It would all just be so awkward and embarrassing tomorrow. It was better this way. Yes. This was better.
But then why were you feeling so miserable?
You double-locked the door, closed the curtains, and realized that you were really hungry. You went to the kitchen and opened the fridge to make a sandwich. You ate slowly, barely tasting anything, getting lost deep in your thoughts. All you wanted to do was to sleep.
In the morning, the phone woke you up. You stumbled out of bed and answered it, massaging your eyes.
“Yea —ah?” you yawned.
“It’s me,” said Javier. He sounded tense. As he spoke, in the background you heard voices and running. “Liz, this just came in. They found the car on the picture, it’s connected to a drug lab…”
“What?” you said, suddenly wide awake. “How —”
“I don’t have time, we’re heading out. I’ll call you after.”
“Wh — Javier?!”
You called after him, but it was too late and he hung up. He was gone.
Summary: You’ve known Javier for a while now, but when lives are in danger, you realize that you might feel more for him than you have initially thought.
It had been a while since you became part of the DEA, and life was going flawlessly. With employement came certain rights; you were eligible to receive security measures on a higher level. The first week you had your windows changed to bulletproof ones, and you had your door fixed up with two other locks. You had gotten another phone that had a secure line to the DEA office, and you were able to have weekly visits from agents who made sure that everything was okay with you. But the biggest of them all was the new car - a seemingly ordinary vehicle, but with bulletproof windows and doors.
“Are you saisfied with what you got?” Javier had asked, when he came over to check the house for himself as well. You nodded with a small smile on your lips.
“Yeah, it’s… Thank you, Javier.”
He looked at you kindly and saw the seriousness in your eyes. He stepped closer and squeezed your shoulder in a friendly way. He smiled. He rarely smiled, but he had a really nice smile.
Unfortunately, even though you handed over the photograph to the DEA and received all these things in return, they had no luck catching either of those guys on the picture.
“The licence plate is fake,” said Javier a week after you had gotten employed. “They’ll try and look up any connection to it, but so far no luck. The picture might help the ID guys, though.”
He had been moody on that evening. They had suspended him and Murphy for following their own rules instead of the given orders, but you could understand. For Javier what mattered is doing good. Catching Escobar. The DEA was just the tool for that, the necessary step he had to take every time when driving for action. But sometimes it slowed him down.
Of course, he and Murphy got back, but peace was not an option. Escobar escaped his prison and the whole country went crazy. There were several, who kept on fighting against him, wholeheartedly and tirelessly, but there were still millions out there, who supported what he was doing. But with Carillo being called back from Spain, you knew that there was some hope.
Nevertheless, the whole situation had shown its effect on you. Working close to DEA agents had its ups and downs; you were glad for their help and continuous attention towards your safety. However, you also got a glimpse into what they had to deal with, and it frightened you. It was your job to develop their pictures sometimes, and you met several drug traffickers, hitmans, associates and dead bodies on negatives. You couldn’t help but anxiously wonder about the others’ safety.
“Don’t think about it way too much,” Javier said to you once you admitted why you had been acting so nervously. He was sitting on your desk while you were having lunch. “It’ll drive you crazy. Belive me, there are more things than you know of.”
“Well, that makes me calm and relaxed,” you said, pushing away your unfinished plate. Your stomach was in a knot.
“Hey,” Javier got a chair and sat down to be on the same level with you. “I’m serious.”
“I’m serious too. When I say I don’t want anyone to get hurt.”
He hesitated, but held out his hand towards you. You took it, casting down your eyes. The truth was, that yes, you were worried about everyone, naturally… But you were really worried for him. You had known him for four months now. You continously had been having lunches together, and sometimes you went out for a drink or two after work. You knew he was strong-willed and clever, determined and cunning… But you couldn’t help it. There was something that made you care for him more than anyone else.
“You worry too much, Liz,” he said gently, and it made you look up. He was really close, his eyes deeply looking into yours. You felt your heartbeat picking up the pace. You couldn’t blink with his gaze on you, and your eyes started to sting.
“I’m just saying,” you said after forcing yourself to look away and massaged your eyes. “I want you to be safe.”
“There’s no guarantee that’ll ever happen,” he said understandingly and shrugged. “We do our best. But if you have to choose between chasing a guy who’s getting away or running back to the car to get proper gear, there’s no agent who’d choose the latter. What matters at the end is if you got the guy or not. Wearing a vest is not gonna change that.”
Something clicked in you and you looked at him again. You were only hoping that you had heard him wrong.
“What?” you said with a sharp tone.
“What?” he asked, unsure of what you were referring to.
“Are you telling me….” you took a deep breath, trying to remain calm. “Are you telling me that you don’t always wear a vest?”
“Well, most of the times we do. But I’m saying if there’s an unexpected situation, no one will waste time —”
“Waste time?!” you exclaimed, surprising even yourself. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
Javier looked taken aback. He shook his head as if trying to make sense of your sudden outburst.
“What’s wrong with you?”
“What’s wrong with you?” you stood up letting go of his hand. Something came over you, and you were not bothering anymore to keep your voice low. “Why are you telling me this only now?”
He stood up too, though not as fiercly as you did.
“What do you want me to say, Liz?” His calmness infuriated you. “This is the job.”
“This is messed up —”
“We knew what we were signing up for,” he said and gently touched your shoulders. He caressed your arms, then suddenly cupped your cheeks which made you numb. He looked deeply into your eyes. “Don’t worry about it.”
“How can you tell me that?” you whispered, feeling his hands on you.
“Why do you care so much?” he asked with a half smile and you were frightened for a second. His eyes were longing for an answer, but you were not ready for that. Why did you care so much? You didn’t even want to admit that to yourself.
“You’re my friend,” you said as convincingly as you could. Technically, it was true. “And I don’t want to lose you.”
Something changed on his face. His gaze was burning yours. He smiled, but that smile was hiding something else that you couldn’t figure out.
“I’m your friend? That’s very kind of you, Liz.”
Before you could answer, there was a sudden echo of footsteps and Trujillo appeared at the door, panting.
“Peña! There was an ambush, all over the city. There are hundreds coming in. Half of them dead already!”
“What is he saying?” you looked at Javier, who looked absolutely shocked. “Javier?”
“Fuck!” he said and turned after Trujillo, who was already leaving. Then looked at you before following him. “Stay here.”
“Yeah, no way,” you said, running after him. Everyone in the office was going into one direction - outside. Javier was faster and got before the others, but as you stepped outside the crowd loosened up. And then you could see it.
There were people everywhere, and the level of chaos was rising. You looked to your right and there were two dead policemen on the ground. Next to them was an agent squatting down while talking in Spanish to a guy who was whining in pain. Someone rolled a stretcher over and they lifted the man together. In front of you, there was someone who was bleeding heavily from the stomach. Not far from him another dead body. On the left one man had his arm around another one, carrying him inside. You saw Murphy kneeling next to a young police officer, trying to put pressure on his wound. And there were fifty more, all shouting and screaming in pain and fear.
You stumbled down the stairs, unsure of what to do. You had no medical training and you were scared that you’d just make things worse. You saw Javier for a second as he was helping someone and your stomach clenched. You ran towards the closest man on the ground and helped him to sit up. You were extremely scared that he’d die in your hands.
Seven hours later you were at home, scrubbing the dried blood from your hands. The smell was making you sick. Eventually ambulances and paramedics had arrived and took over from the agents. Still, there were 30 deaths today.
You turned off the tap and dried your hands. Your fingernails were red. You chuckled, trying not to cry, then went to the living room and closed the curtains. Then, you double checked the front door. It was awfully quiet.
The phone rang and you jumped in fear. You ran to answer it.
“Yes?”
“Hey, it’s me,” came a familiar voice. Danilo sounded uneasy. “I’ve seen what happened today. Have you heard?”
“Yeah, I was… I was there,” you said, staring at the walls.
“I told you I wasn’t sure about you having this job,” he started. “Working in the middle of it, Liz…”
“Have you lost anyone?” you asked.
“No, thank God. They say it was an ambush but we weren’t there.”
“Good,” you nodded.
“Are you okay?” he sounded concerned. “Do you want me to come over?”
“No,” you said quickly. “I just wanna sleep. Thanks for calling.”
“Okay. Good night.”
“Bye.”
You put down the phone and wrapped a soft blanket around yourself. All of a sudden it felt really cold.
The phone rang again and you were sure that Danilo called you back. With a little impatience, you picked up.
“Yeah?”
“How are you?” Javier’s voice was different. Your mood changed straight away. You didn’t know how to answer him.
“How are you?” you asked him instead. Finding the words was hard for him as well.
“Well… you know.”
You nodded.
“Yeah.”
“Listen…” he started. He sounded extremely tired. “About today… thanks for… you know. Giving a shit.”
“About what?”
“…Me.”
You took a deep breath to calm down, but your voice broke.
“You said that there’s a standing bounty on any DEA down here…”
He didn’t answer. You knew he was waiting. You looked at your bloody fingernails and wiped your tears away while speaking.
“Please, Javier… just be careful.”
It was the longest silence you had ever heard from him. You knew he was still there because you heard him breathing… and you waited. After a minute, he cleared his throat and with the most caring, genuine voice he said:
Description:Having just moved to Colombia from LA, you need a night off from unpacking and head to a nearby bar, where you happen upon a handsome stranger named Javier
Javi had stayed the night at your place. It was new territory for the relationship, inhabiting the other’s space. Two nights in the past month, you had stayed at his. The only surprising part of it was how normal it felt. Having him living with you didn’t perturb you one bit and you noticed right away.
After sharing a shower, where the man was able to pull two orgasms out of you in ten minutes, you were now seated on the counter in your kitchen, your hair towel dried and hanging damp, a small wet spot blooming on the old DEA t-shirt you have on. Javi’s jeans were pulled on, but still undone, and his shirt from last night hanging open on his body. He’s settled between your knees, hands caressing back and forth along your bare thighs as his smile touches yours in a sweet kiss.
Imagine finding out that your boyfriend Deny is La Quica from the Medellin cartel.
requested by: anon warnings: ?? swearing ?? this ones pretty tame for a narcos one imo also, i kinda gave it an underlying possible javi x reader vibe because my love is just too strong, hope that’s chill.
You threw your coat over the back of a chair and swept up a coffee from the desk. Two glugs of it assaulting your tastebuds and you knew it wasn’t yours.
“Hey, don’t pull that face. This is good stuff, your taste is off.” Javi swiped it from your hand and held out another for you, and you took a sip.
“No no, my taste is brilliant - this is good stuff.”
He scoffed, “You wanna talk about your taste in men again?”
Your brows set with his teasing tone. You knew what he was getting at - he wanted you to spill the gossip on your latest boyfriend so he could terrorise him, like he always does. “Um, no. I’m not having you chase off another perfectly good man.”
“Why did they dart on you if they were perfectly good, sweetie?”
You frowned at him and his shit-eating grin. You had nothing to say to that. You loved Javi, you really did, but he and his cynicism were a detrimental force on your lovelife. At this rate, you’d be 50 years old and still sat in a bar every other night with these two assholes.
“Can’t help it if every guy in Colombia is a loser.”
He opened his arms, “I’m in Colombia.”
“And so my point stands.” You shook your head and took a slurp of coffee, turning your back on him and going to stand beside a focused Steve staring at a wall, hands on his hips.
Your brows raised when you followed his gaze. “Oh, this is new.”
Faces and faces. So many faces dotted the board, with names tacked up, many of which you recognised, some crossed through with red. At the top, one Pablo Escobar. “So this is our cartel.”
“This is our cartel, but only as far as we know.” Steve gestured to the lowest row on the board, many of which were names without pictures. “We don’t know these guys. And we don’t know who they got working for them, either.”
“It’s a huge fuckin’ spider’s web,” called Javi from behind you.
“Anything we do to anyone on this web, the spider will know,” you nodded grimly. Your eyes raked through the profiles, some strangers and some familiar. One, just a little too familiar.
Your brows creased, your feet instinctively took a step closer. You craned your neck to see a little better and your heart lurched when you saw what you wished wasn’t true. His name escaped your lips in a gasp. “Deny?”
“What’s that?” Steve asked.
“Oh, what? Nothing, just-”
“Just?”
“I think it’s too early for my eyes,” you laughed and waved a hand dismissively, then raising your coffee. “Gonna need a little more of this.”
Steve’s eyes narrowed and constricted your stomach with nerves. But he nodded with a “Uh huh,” and went to shuffle through some papers. “What’s our next move, then?”
“Fill in the blanks? We need a full board to get the full web.” You scoured the rest of the board for anyone else you recognised, but there were no others. Just your boyfriend.
Your eyes settled on the picture of him, trying to tell yourself that anyone could have his curly hair, his scruff. Even the wildness in his eyes wasn’t hard to come by these days.
But then, you filled your brain with the faces of sicarios. It would make sense that he had that look too. Fuck, it suddenly made too much sense. His sneaking, his reluctance to be seen with you, how he never told you about his friends or family, or even work.
Your fingers found their way to the necklace he’d bought you, a dainty gold chain.
How could he be part of this? Your sweet, hilarious, ride-or-die Deny.
But then, you had to assume he had no idea you were with the DEA.
You’d been playing a more dangerous game than you knew, and now it was time to win.
summary: There’s a particular diner Javier goes to before work. Is it because of the food? Well yes, their food is tasty. But something, perhaps someone, keeps drawing him back.
word count: 562
warnings: none? slight fluff. just first meeting stuff
comments: Haven’t written anything in so long, im kinda rusty so spare me :,D Also, i have a series idea with this so if this gets enough notes/people like it i might continue it hehe. (also, no gendered specific terms in this one!)
The diner’s bell jingles, signaling Javier’s arrival. The diner had only been open for two hours, so there were few customers. Javier takes a seat at the bar, his preferred spot. You emerge from the kitchen with another customer’s meal in your hands, which you hand over to them before approaching him.
“G’morning Javi, what would you like today? The usual?”
“Always.”
With a slight nod followed with a soft smile, you return to the kitchen to prepare his meal. He’s perplexed as to why he’s so drawn to you. You’re gentle and quiet, the type that he wouldn’t usually go for. This fascination began with his first meeting with you, when a little gesture you made caused him to alter his daily routine starting that day.
“Sunlight’s Diner is delighted to welcome you! How about we get started with a drink while you browse the menu.”
"Coffee black.” he says, not looking up from the menu.
"Great, i’ll be right back.”
It takes a minute for you to return with his coffee.
"Alright, are you all set?”
That’s when he raises his eyes from the menu for the first time, his deep brown gaze fixed on yours. Mesmerized, words fail to come out of your mouth. You think the man said something, but there was no sound. “You okay there?” he asks, puzzled by your rigid stillness.
You avoid his gaze, staring down at your fidgeting hands, embarrassed. Your flush is pretty noticeable, he notices it and discreetly chuckles, “I’ll take the Sunlight Special.”
“A-ah, that’s wonderful! Coming right up!” You smile as you hurriedly walk to the kitchen. “Damn, what’s with you?” exclaimed the cook, taken aback by your abrupt appearance.
“Nothing! Here you go! "You give the chef his order. While waiting for the meal, you steal a glimpse at him; he appears to be preoccupied with the newspaper he’s reading, so you take the opportunity to study his features. Attractively disheveled hair, broad shoulders, and a well-kept stache over his seemingly soft lips, ‘what a man’
The man looks up directly into their direction, as if he had heard their thoughts. You rush behind the wall, fixating on the chef’s cooking.
‘I wonder if he has someone, he seems like he does. Looking like that? theres no way he doesn’t. If anything, he’s probably secured a wife-’ The ding of the call bell jolted you out of your trance, and you thanked the chef before delivering the food to the broodingly gorgeous man.
"Here’s your order! I hope you enjoy it!” Before you proceeded to the kitchen, you gave him a smile. “Wait,” you hear him say. Turning around, you see the identical stare he gave you the first time he peered at you, sending shivers up your spine. Shaking your head from your rising thoughts, you approach him, “Yes? Is there anything else you need?”
"What’s your name?” You open your mouth, expecting to say something in response to his surprising question, but nothing comes out. It’s incredible what such a handsome man can do to you. “Would you give me your name if I told you mine?” He spoke through your daze, and when you realized what he was saying, you nodded.
“Javier Pena, It’s great to meet you.” He extends his hand to you. You tell him your name while snaking your hand into his. “Great to meet you too, Javier.”
I will be updating stitched together in the next couple of days! Just letting y’all know. No way is on the back burner for now until I get that burst of energy yknow.
Colombia. It was new, scary. And despite spending all day unpacking, my nerves had not calmed. I decided that there was only one thing to do: get myself some pizza, new yarn, my trusted knitting needles, and some new records. It was time for me to relax the only way I knew, knitting while upbeat music plays from the record player, I had placed in my new living room. Sadly, I couldn’t jump into my relaxation as I did need to go out to get said pizza, yarn, and records. I didn’t mind that much though because I did want to explore Bogota.
I grabbed my purse and hopped into my car. The used car I had gotten wasn’t the nicest, but I could afford it and it was better than trying to get public transportation in a foreign country. My first stop was the record store. I picked up one of my favorite records, Rumors by Fleetwood Mac. It wasn’t always my favorite but years of listening to it at home had made me adore it. With my record safely away in the trunk, I drove over to the craft store. There was only a handful in the city, so I was planning on taking full advantage of its proximity to my new apartment.
The store was relatively small, clearly a family run business. The sign above the door read in large cursive letters “Palacio de Artesania”. I entered and found that it was larger than I expected, although still small. The bell above the door rang and I saw what looked like the owner of the store come up to greet me.
“Buenos dias! Puedo alludarte?” The sweet old lady who approached me asked.
“Soy bien ahora,” I responded, hoping my Spanish was okay. It had been a while since I spoke. She nodded and walked over to the other side of the room, where the register was. I spotted a younger looking woman at the register. She was reading a tabloid magazine as she chewed some gum, clearly uninterested in the job she was supposed to be doing. Although in her defense, the place was pretty empty. I spotted two other people, a woman carrying a baby and a man wearing a leather jacket. I paid little attention to either, although my eyes did linger a little too long on the man. He quickly looked towards me and I smiled awkwardly before wandering down another aisle.
I could feel my cheeks flush as I realized I had been caught staring. I couldn’t control it, he just felt out of place. He was dashingly handsome and intimidating, not the type you would expect to be looking at embroidery threads. I shook my head to get myself back to the goal of this mission. New yarn. I wandered the store for a moment before finding the knitting and crochet section. While the selection was small, they did have high quality materials and after a mental check of what colors I needed, I grabbed a couple of skeins and went to check out.
I must have not been looking where I was going because I bumped into the man from before as I turned a corner. The yarn I had been carrying in my arms fell to the ground and I quickly rushed to pick up the mess. He bent down to help me collect the yarn, handing a few to me.
“Gracias señor.” I said, giving him a nod.
“Your accent is terrible.” He said in response.
“Oof, well I’m a little rusty.”
“It’s okay, you’re still cute.” I felt my face heat up at the unexpected complement.
“Javier Peña.” He held out his hand.
“Y/N L/N.” I said shaking his hand. “What brings you here? Not to be rude but I don’t expect an American wearing a leather jacket and tight ass jeans to be in a craft store in Columbia.”
“You like my jeans?”
“Never said that.”
“It was implied.”
“Answer the question.”
“I just like crafting. Embroidery is my favorite, but I’m running out of things to embroider on. As for the Columbia thing, I work at the embassy.”
“Really? I just got a job there! I’m the new receptionist for someone named Messina. What was her first name… Claudia!”
Javier looked like a deer in headlights. He stared at me for a moment before his posture changed and he seemed more closed off.
“Look, whatever you do, you can’t tell people that you saw me here. Or anything I told you for that matter. I have a… reputation to uphold.” He spit out.
“Oh, you are one of those types. No worries, I won’t say a thing. Can’t let them know you’re a big softie.”
“I am not a softie.”
“Sure…” I started walking towards the register. “I’ll see you at work, I guess. I start tomorrow.”
“Good luck. You’ll need it.”
With that he seemed to sneak away to another aisle and left me alone. I quickly paid for my yarn and made my way out, nodding at him as I left. I drove to the nearest pizza place, grabbed a cheese pizza, and made my way back home. It was dark by the time I arrived, the day had gone by quickly between the unpacking and the shopping. I grabbed a piece of pizza, started playing my new record, and began preparing to knit. An hour later the pizza was gone, a new record was playing, and the beginnings of a sweater had been knit.
Now it was around midnight, so I put away the record and headed to bed. My mind kept wandering back to Javier. He seemed like an interesting man. And he was even more handsome up close. But he clearly had some problems with expressing himself and I didn’t want to get put into that mess. Still, he made the prospect of my first day a lot more interesting. I would have a friend.
My first day was unremarkable. I briefly saw Javier, who chose to act as if we hadn’t met yet. Our introduction seemed to fit the bill for what his interactions with the other receptionists were. That was, he was flirty. Very flirty. From the charming half smiles to the winks he sent me as he would walk away, I was falling, and fast. Still, it was hard to feel like he truly cared about me when it was clear that was just his nature. He sees a woman and he flirts. I tried not to think about it too much.
The first week went by quickly. I answered phones, took messages, and scheduled meetings. This was all stuff I was used to doing, and while I couldn’t say it was that exciting, I was highly entertained by watching everyone else interact. The agents were always on the move, always planning. There one minute, out the door the next. Despite the fact that I had entertainment when the agents were at the embassy, most of the day they would be gone. After a quick chat with Messina, I was allowed to spend that free time knitting. And so that Friday I brought in the project I was working on. It was very peaceful to knit, sometimes so peaceful that an agent would need to cough to get my attention. I would be slightly embarrassed. but they all seemed to understand how boring an office job could get.
Unsurprisingly, I really enjoyed any time I had to talk with Javi. I didn’t think much of it, but at lunch the other receptionists would either swarm me, trying to get details on how I got Javi to talk to me so much, or they would glare at me from afar. I didn’t get it. Javier talked to all of the girls, why did they care so much about me?
Lunch came and went, and the rest of that Friday went quickly. Messina was working late, which sadly meant that I needed to as well. While there wasn’t much to do, I would still have to sit at my desk, waiting for her to dismiss me. At around 8pm, she walked out to get coffee, and upon noticing me, urged me to go home. I thanked her and quickly packed my stuff up. As I was walking out, I heard someone calling after me.
“Y/N! Wait up!” I turned around to see Javier trying to catch up to me. I couldn’t help but smile when I saw him. “So… any plans for the weekend?” he asked.
“I know almost no one in Bogota. You think I have plans? I’m probably just going to grab a bottle of wine and watch a movie, maybe knit some more.”
“That reminds me, uh how do I say this…” he looked around to make sure we were alone and lowered his voice, “I really want to learn to knit.” My face lit up at the idea of him coming to me for advice on knitting.
“Ooh! That’s wonderful! I have some extra needles you can have, and I have plenty of yarn for you to borrow to start.” We exited the building, and I started heading to where my car was parked. He followed me.
“Thanks. Um, I was kind of hoping you could teach me? I could come over if you want. I’ll bring the wine.” He asked it as a question, allowing me the opportunity to turn him down. I thought for a moment. His reputation proceeded him. He was a womanizer, but I felt like he was different with me. Perhaps it was naïve, but I couldn’t help but agree.
“That sounds wonderful, but no funny business. I’m not ending my first week at my new job by sleeping with a coworker. How about we meet tomorrow night? How does six sound?”
“That sounds great. You do live in the apartments that are given to the office staff, right?”
“I do. Wait do you live there too?” He chuckled.
“Nah, I live in the building across the street. Steve lives above me.” I smiled.
“That sounds nice.” I stopped, noticing I had reached my car. “Well, this is my car. I better let you get to yours.” He smiled and I couldn’t help but reach up to give him a kiss on the cheek. I immediately felt him heat up and I did too. “I- uh…”
“Goodnight, Y/N.” He said as he placed a kiss to the top of my head. The action felt strangely much more intimate than my kiss. Perhaps it was because he never showed anyone at the office this side of him.
The entire drive home I couldn’t help but smile. I was giddy. My god, I was like a school girl with a crush. When I got to my apartment building and parked, I looked across the street at Javier’s building wondering what apartment might be his. I walked into my building and went up the two flights of stairs to my unit. After unlocking the door, I walked in and dropped my belongings unceremoniously on my dinner table. The rest of the night was spent with the tv on but being completely ignored as I thought back to the way Javi and I had parted ways. Eventually I showered before heading to bed. I couldn’t sleep, and it took everything in my power to stray away from some dirtier thoughts about Javier. I was not going to be another one of his conquests. I wanted friendship. Maybe even more. And if I was reading him correctly, he was in desperate need of an escape that didn’t include being between a woman’s legs.
The next morning, I couldn’t remember when I had fallen asleep. I did notice that I was incredibly tired and so I slept in. At around 11, I finally got out of bed. I made myself breakfast, pouring myself some cereal. It wasn’t exactly the healthiest, but it was quick and delicious. After breakfast, I got dressed and ran some errands. It wasn’t exactly exciting, but I needed to get more groceries.
The rest of the day was spent inside. It was ridiculously hot and humid, so I blasted the AC and opened all my windows. While it helped, I was still not used to the heat, so I ended up spending most of the day lying on the couch in my underwear. It was still light when I started getting ready to meet with Javier (I guessed meeting him in my underwear would be a little forward), but the sun was starting to set as I went to meet him downstairs. I realized I never gave him my apartment number, so I would have to wait for him to arrive. Five minutes before six, I went to stand outside the entrance to my building. I didn’t wait long, considering all he had to do was cross the street.
Almost at six on the dot, as the sun was truly setting and the sky was filled with hues of pink and orange, Javier walked out the door to his building, waving at me before quickly crossing the street. To any onlookers it probably looked like we were getting ready for a date, especially with me in a floral sundress, beaming at him. He wore his normal attire, jeans, a button up shirt that was not completely buttoned up, and his favorite leather jacket. When he reached me, I said a brief “hello” before leading him up the stairs to my apartment. I was really hoping not to be seen by any of the other office staff, but much to my luck, Victoria, one of the girls who was glaring at me at lunch the day before, was exiting her apartment (which was down the hall from mine) as I unlocked my door. She seemed shocked to see Javier and I together, but the shock quickly turned into her turning around, reentering her apartment, and slamming the door. I was embarrassed at being caught with Javier, especially considering our meetings were supposed to be secret, and I didn’t look at Javier until we were safely inside my apartment.
“What’s her problem?” I questioned, but I didn’t expect an answer.
“I may have fucked her in the evidence room once or twice…” Javier responded much to my dismay.
“I’m sorry, you what? You had sex with her, at the office no less, and then what?”
“I didn’t talk to her,” he quietly responded. Despite hearing him well enough, I pressed him.
“Sorry, I didn’t hear that.” He looked at me with annoyance clear on his face, but repeated it slightly louder this time. “Huh? What was that? Need you to speak a little louder.” He rubbed a hand against his forehead, and spoke a little above his normal volume this time.
“I didn’t talk to her! Look, I know it was rude. I just… I don’t do well with feelings.”
“Did you tell her ahead of time that you didn’t want a relationship?”
“I thought it was clear?”
“My God, you are helpless,” I took a breath and sat down on my couch, motioning for him to follow. “Javier, I’m not going to tell you not to sleep with whoever you want, I’m not on some moral high horse. But you have to at least communicate with people about what you want before you sleep with them.” I paused. “I will do my best to communicate with you. I do not want to have sex with you, and while I am open to romantic relationships in general, I am not actively looking for one. What I am hoping to get out of relationship is friendship. Is that okay with you?” I waited for him to respond. He was still standing besides the couch. He looked quite uncomfortable, as if trying to find an escape, but eventually he sat down.
“I…” He took a deep breath. “I think we are on the same page. Friends.” I smiled at him and he seemed to relax. “Are you sure about the sex part?” he teased.
“Javi. Don’t push it,” I chastised.
“Okay, okay.” He responded throwing his arms up in mock surrender.
“You brought the wine, right?” He pointed to a bottle he had placed on my table. “Great! Can you open it while I get our supplies?”
“Sure.” He responded, moving towards my kitchen. I walked out of my room with a basket of yarn, needles, and patterns just as he finished pouring two glasses of wine. “You know, I’m more of a whiskey guy, I can’t remember the last time I had wine.”
“I’m not surprised. I might have to buy a bottle for next week.” Javier moved towards the couch, where I had sat down and placed the basket of supplies. He placed a glass of wine on the coffee table in front of me and sat down on the other side of the basket. I noticed him fidgeting. “You can smoke if you want. I don’t mind.”
He smiled, put down his glass of wine, and pulled out a pack of cigarettes, pulling one out and lighting it. The sight of the cigarette hanging from his lips was oddly erotic and I couldn’t help but reach out and grab it from him before taking a drag of it. I handed it back to him a little embarrassed, especially with the way his eyes were on me. I quickly handed him some knitting needles and a ball of yarn.
“Okay so to knit we need to cast on.” I started showing him the easiest way to cast on, and after a few tries he got it. “Great! Now just continue casting on until you have the right number of stitches. We’ll start by just making a square, so I would recommend doing maybe 15, 20 stiches to start, that way you don’t have to knit a million rows.” He followed my instruction, fumbling with the cast on method a couple of times, but quickly fixing it before I needed to get involved.
I was doing the same thing he was with my own pair of knitting needles. And was diligently working to catch up to him (as I spent most of my time focusing on teaching him) when he looked over to me and spoke.
“So, what now, professor?” He was teasing me, and I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Now you have to actually knit. There are two ways to ‘knit’, knitting and purling. Those two make up all patterns. Purling in my opinion takes longer to learn, so we’ll only focus on traditional knitting. When you knit with only knit stitches, it’s called a garter stitch. That’s what we’ll do.” I positioned his hands correctly, trying to ignore the spark that ran through me when our hands touched. I taught him to knit the way I knew best, English knitting. He caught on quite quickly, but a few rows in I noticed that his tension was too tight.
“Relax. No need to pull the yarn so hard. If it’s looser it will make it easier.” He sighed before relaxing his hands a bit. Soon enough we were in a content silence, the only sound being our knitting needles as they hit each other. I was enjoying having company for once, enjoying his friendship, when Javier made a low growl. I felt heat burning in my core, but resisted the urge to jump on him as I tried to focus. We were here to knit, we were here to knit. I finally looked over and he showed me a whole in his piece.
“How did I mess up?” He seemed very frustrated, the lines in his face prominent as he frowned.
“You dropped a stitch, happens to the best of us. But the issue with knitting is it’s really hard to fix it. You have to completely unravel all your work after that point, and then redo it. For the first time, it’s not worth doing all that work again. It looks really good.”
He looked over at my work. I was already done with my 15 by 15 stitch square, while he was only about halfway.
“How are you already done?”
“Practice. You’ll get there.”
He groaned when he noticed he was out of wine and there was no more in the bottle. I looked at the time and noticed it wasn’t late yet, but I was getting hungry.
“I’m starving. Do you want to order something? I don’t really know any good places nearby…”
“I’m hungry too. There’s this place that makes great arepas. It’s a couple blocks down. We could take a break and go and eat if you want?” I agreed and grabbed my keys.
The walk was calm, but I was happy to have him as it was dark. The gun in the back of his pants was reassuring as well. After a few minutes we got to the restaurant. It was a small hole in the wall type of place, and it was pretty empty. We ordered our food, choosing to forgo any alcohol after having drank the full bottle of wine earlier between the two of us. It was quiet but not uncomfortable so.
“Do you bring all your girls here?” I joked. He stiffened and I worried I had messed up. Then he relaxed.
“Only the ones who are too pretty to sleep with on the first date.”
“So, this is a date now? What happened to friends?”
“Oh, I didn’t mean to… I know, boundaries, sorry.”
“Calm down, I’m just messing with you. If this is a date, it’s the best date I’ve been on in a long time.”
“If this is a date, it’s the only date I’ve been on in a long time,” he retorted.
“Who would have thought the badass, womanizer DEA agent didn’t just have a heart, but enjoyed knitting?”
“I swear to god if you tell Steve, I’ll never hear the end of this.”
“Oh my God! We should totally knit something for Steve! Sweaters are not very useful in Colombia, nor are hats… What about a stuffed animal? It’s a bit more advanced than where you are at, but it can be our goal. Doesn’t he have a baby? She would love that.”
“Wait, could we make a cat?” He asked with mischievous but playful energy behind his eyes.
“Sure! Why not?”
“He’s going to kill me.” Javier whispered under his breath as the food came.
We ate happily. Javi would tell me stories of his near-death experiences, and I would listen. Dinner passed quickly and soon enough we were walking home. He mentioned that it wasn’t that late yet, and he didn’t want to night to end, so I asked if he wanted to watch a movie I had rented. He nodded and we made our way back up to my apartment, putting away knitting supplies and bringing out warm blankets. The movie was one of my favorites, Star Wars, but I was realizing how tired I was. I was trying not to fall asleep, but I couldn’t help it. The last thing I remembered was unconsciously snuggling into Javi’s chest when he wrapped an arm around me.
It Takes Two-Narcos AU Chapter Six: What Good is Being King, If Nobody Knows It Javier Peña x OFC! Stevie Murphy
Summary: You are in too deep, there’s no turning back. You are in unknown location, you took the new step in your relationship with Antonio and it was nothing how you expected. What happens when you witness a murder and some how dive even deeper then what you already were
Words:3711 Rating: 18+ SMUT please don’t read if you are under 18 Warnings/Triggers: It’s based on Narcos, sooo if you have triggers with that, this probably isn’t the story for you. The main character is a female named Stevie. A/N: The story is written from reader’s point of view, you are Stevie. If that is hard to look past, then I am sorry. The story will eventually contain smut. For the record this is based around the plot of Narcos but in a modern-day setting. As always a huge thanks to @heythere-mel for reading this, story not completely beta’d
**Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. **
“I can’t do this…” you wrap your arms around your body walking back into the room there’s a notebook sitting on the dresser, you didn’t notice it before. Walking over, you pick it up and see a photo of a man you recognize, a man you’d be able to pick out of a line up any day of the week. Next to the picture was a name you didn’t know, but it led to every suspension you had. You were right, right about everything. But how are you going to tell the people who need to know?
“Collin Williamson…” the picture had him holding the same briefcase as before. The letters CW engraved on the handle. Gov. Williams was gone the same time as Antonio was, he forgot where he had went, or at least he wasn’t able to keep his story straight. He had to be behind this, “…why else did he want me to lead this case so bad when I started getting answers” you ask yourself
You can hear the door click and the knob starting to turn. Your heart starts to race. You drop the notebook on the table and race back to the bathroom. Grabbing a brush, trying to act as natural as you can. The man you were to trust, the man who was your boss for the US Government also happened to be a leader of one of the most expansive and wealthiest drug rings in the country. Looking in the mirror your eyes drift to the pendent around your neck. The necklace Javier gave to you. And at that moment you wished and prayed to anything and everything that was holy that somehow he would find you.
You can sense him before you see him. Opening the bathroom door, his hands grabbing your hips and you try to hide the pain as he finds a bruise that he left. Moving your hair from your neck and admiring the work he had done from the night before. His eyes moving from your neck to looking in the mirror where he finds your eyes in the reflection.
“Don’t cover these up,” he says leaning into you. His lips brushing along the side of your ear “I like people knowing who you belong to me”
You swallow hard and nod your head. This possessive trait of Antonio scared you. He was a powerful man who was capable of anything and you were terrified of what the outcome to this could be. You were in too deep to get out now, there was no team with you. The only person who thought you could reply on, lied to you and you made it pretty clear you were done with him. You were in this alone. It was up to you to catch him and his Dad if you wanted to get out of this, and get back to being Stevie
“Did you hear me?” He sounded more angry than you’ve heard him before. Shaking your head ‘no’ and apologizing to him over and over again “10 minutes and you need to meet me downstairs”
“Where are we going?” You asked not entirely sure you even wanted to know
“There is someone you should meet”
You walked off the elevator and towards the large chair he was sitting at with no time to spare. His leg was bouncing and you know if you would have been any later things would not end well for you. He stands taking a hand in his, looking you up and down. The skin tight red dress had been laid out for you. The scoop neck showing off your neck and all of the marks he left there. The sleeves stopped just below your elbow. The floor length gown had a slit on the right side that went all the way to your waist. Thankfully the dress had built in underwear, otherwise you wouldn’t be wearing any. Your hair was tied up in a bun sitting on the top of your head. Black strappy heels finish the look. Moving his hand to your lower back he ushers you out the door to a waiting black SUV. The windows were so tinted they were almost as black as the vehicle.
Resting your hands on your lap, your eyes focused on them afraid to look anywhere else. As angry as you with him, the fact that he didn’t change that he lied to you saying you were the only one, you couldn’t help but wish you told him something, anything about where you were. Antonio covers your hands with one of his, the other turns your head to him. He tilts your head at will and then his lips are on yours. It’s rushed, frantic, ungraceful. His hand grips tighter to your yours, the one holding your face, pulls down our chin, opening your mouth for him so he could slide his tongue in your mouth. Nothing about this was feeling right and the goal to get this man caught was becoming the goal to stay alive. The car comes to a stop, “sir we are here” a voice says from in front of you. Antonio groans, biting down on the lip he has between his teeth. Not hard enough to draw blood, but enough to remember it.
Moments later the door opens, it seemed as if he had another new driver. He unhooks your seatbelt. The driver has his hand out for you to take, “Mrs. Gonzales”, he says as you take his hand helping you step out of the car. He holds your hand for a moment too long. Antonio cursed at him in spanish to not touch you and to never do that again. Was he always this way, or did it just start when the idea of there being a rat was brought to his attention. He takes your hand and walks to a gentleman. Dressed in all black, turning as you get closer, you recognize him as Antonio’s father, Carlos. The man behind the operations. This was it, this was the moment you had been waiting for. You were going to be able to catch them and then… “and then what, I have no team” you think biting the inside of your cheek. You glance around the open space of the dock realizing you are totally alone.
“Nice to see you again Emma” Carlos takes your hand placing a kiss to the back of your hand “I am glad you are here to see me hand over the keys of the business to Antonio”
“The family business?” you ask
“Yes…” he chuckles. “My partner will be here shortly to sign the papers. Giving my first and only born son the reign of the largest and wealthiest cartell’s this country has ever seen” Carlos looks at his watch
The large watch in his left wrist was gold, solid gold. The face was encased with diamonds. The way the light hit it made it shine and you were very distracted by the beauty of it. The sound of a gun being fired brings you back and you watch Carlos fall to the ground.
His body in a crumbled mess, blood pouring from his chest. It was a direct shot to the heart, it had to come from someone who knew what he was doing. Antonio covering his father’s body. Yelling at him to come back to him, you drop to your knees when you hear another shot ring out. Your eyes scan around trying to locate where the shots came from. Another shot sounds and you can feel it fly past your ear. Moving to Antonio placing a hand on his back. His hands covered in blood.
“We have to go” you tell him but he is frozen in place, unable to move. Three more pops fill the space “Antonio, look. I love you, but there won’t be a me or a you if we stay here. We have to move”
“What?” he finally turns to look at you. Blood-shot eyes, tears streaming down his face. You move your hand from his back to his arm
“I said, we have to move!” you yell again
“You love me?” he asks, eyes focused on you as if there weren’t bullets flying around you. You counted the shots, you know the magazine is being reloaded
“I do. But there won’t be an us if we stay here”
Antonio lifts his hand signaling for the black SUV that was parked behind a container to move towards you. More shots start to ring out. The SUV stops in front of you. Reaching up you open the door and crawl inside, fuck being graceful at the moment the dress ripping at the seam as you try to move. Antonio pausing, looking back at his fathers body. Grabbing his Dad he pulls him to the door, as a bullet shatters the back window and you drop to the floor of the car.
“Get in the fucking car now! WE NEED TO MOVE” you scream at him
Finally he gets into the car, leaving his father where he lays. You yell at the driver to move and the squeal of the tires drain out the sound of the gun being fired. Driving as fast as he could back to the hotel. The blood on Antonio’s hands now dred and your hand rubbing up and down his back trying your best to soothe him. A sob escaping from him. His head looking down when the driver opens the door.
“Let’s get you to the room, let’s get the off you hands” you slide out of the car reaching for his hand
You finally get him into the room. He sits on the toilet while you turn the water on for the shower, closing the door. You kneel in front of him. His jacket is already unbuttoned and you slide it off his shoulders. Reaching back down you start to undo the buttons on his shirt, you get to the bottom and pull it out of his pants, hands moving back to his shoulders to take the shirt off. His eyes locked on yours, his hands catch your wrists as they move back down to work on his belt
“Emma…” he says softly, you don’t look up “Querida”
“Hmmm” you finally look up at him
He leans into you. His lips catch yours in a much softer kiss than before. More of the way when you first met him. His hands bring your wrists to wrap around his neck. The kiss slow, tender, afraid that he almost lost you too. Find the zipper of your dress and he pulls it down. Holding on to you, he stands the two of you up to your feet. Holding on to you and guiding you back towards the shower. Your back hits the door, taking a step backwards he opens it, moving the two of you into the large shower. He pulls the dress down and it pulls around your feet. Moving your hands to undo his belt and sliding his pants and boxers down.
Picking you up, and wrapping your legs around him he steps around his pants moving the two of you under the water. Fingers thread into his hair, his lips moving to your neck. This moment was crazy and after everything that was happening, you shouldn’t be doing this. You look down to see red water swirling its way down the drain. You couldn’t help but grind yourself against him as his tongue licks over your pulse point. Deep within your bones you knew this was wrong, you shouldn’t be giving into him, you shouldn’t be doing this. He backs you up against the wall for balance and support. Reaching between your bodies, he teases you before sliding himself into you. Biting down on your shoulder when he bottoms out. You moan out his name when he pulls out and slams back into you, pushing you up the wall.
“Emma” he groans his thrusts picking up, he sets a steady pace “I love you”
You pull his head up to look at him, this is what you had imagined sex with him was going to be like. He finds a spot inside you that has your head going blank, muttering out the words “yes…yes…I love you” as you clench around him. Antonio’s thrusts start to flatter, as you clench around him tighter. After giving you three more hard thrusts he is releasing himself into you. His lips find yours, kissing you gently as the two of you come back down to earth. Pulling out of you he sets you back on the ground, but your lips still connected
“Sorry…I’m…that was…” he starts to say
“It’s ok, uhm I’ll just yeah.” Everything was suddenly awkward. You move around him, and grab a towel stepping out of the shower. You move your way to the bedroom and to start to pace back and forth trying to understand everything that just happened.
You walk back to the table and pick up the notebook that was still sitting on the table. Flipping it open trying to find any information to lead you to where you were today, and maybe find something about Colin Williamson. Blank page after blank page then you find your name. Stevie “Stephanie” Murphy. Your full name, no one knew that. It had your birthday, where you were born, your college with a photo of you. An older version of you, a picture of the day you graduated college.
“Shit. He knows” you say to yourself. You needed to get out and get out now
The shower shuts off and you rip the page from the book and shove it into your pocket. Shuffling over to the bed, you lean against the headboard trying to figure out the next steps you had to take. With Antonio not wanting to let you out of his sight before this, he worried about your safety, what was he going to do now with his father dead. Was this house arrest about to get even worse?
Antonio walks out of the bathroom. One towel wrapped around his waist and another draped over his shoulders. He sits on the edge of the bed next to you. A hand rests on your leg. There is a silence that falls between the two of you. His hands now clean, cheeks still tear stained, his eyes still puffy and read from tears that must have fell during the shower.
“I need to get his body” he says solemnly and you nod your head in understanding
“Do you want me to go with you?”
“I need you to stay here. I have my security outside to keep you safe. I can’t let anything happen to you” he leans forward kissing your forehead “I already loss enough today”
“Are you sure you’ll be ok?”
“Yes, please stay here for me. I love you” he says thumb running along your jaw
“Love you too” You were surprised at how easy it was to let those words come from your mouth. The sad part of it, you did love a part of him. “Please be safe” you add watching him walk to the dresser finding a clean shirt and a pair of pants. He walks back over after getting dressed leaning down and kissing you before he goes.
You wait a few minutes before getting up and walking over to the door. He was right, there were three armed men standing outside of the door. At this point you would do and say anything to stay alive. You find the one suitcase that you were able to pack, it had your phone in it. You turn it on, waiting for it to power up. Hands shaking you find the name you were looking for…
Carlos is dead…Killed an unknown location. I don’t know who it was, but Gov Williams knows more than you think Trust me
You push the send button watching the little message bar move across the screen. As soon as you see that it had been sent you quickly turn the phone off and shove it back into the bag.
The next few days went by in a blur, Antonio going here and there taking you with him. By the time you two finally got home, Antonio’s home you had no clue what day it was anymore. Antonio was leaving you alone for the most part, if you considered room arrest alone. Armed guards roamed the house, while others were stationed at different points outside of the house. He was worried about your safety before, but now. Now he was terrified to let you out of his sight, or the sight of anyone with a gun to protect you.
“Emma, I need to leave for a while. Finish some loose ends for the funeral. Stay here for me” he asks standing in the door frame of your room
“Ok…be safe yeah?” you wrap your arms around him. If you have any chance of getting out of here alive, you need to keep it up. Needed him to believe you were not the rat
He kisses you goodbye, and you watch him walk down the hall. Closing the door you make your way to the windows of your room overlooking the front driveway. Watching him get into a black BMW. Something new, a car you had never seen before. You watch it drive away making a mental note of the plate. You walk into the large walk-in closet. Pushing a dresser a few feet, you bend down and lift up a piece of the floorboard pulling out a small laptop. Sitting on the floor, you flip open the screen and push the power button. You had been able to find a break in the system and use the internet spareling without Antonio or the crew knowing about it.
You navigate to the government’s database and type in the name Colin Williamson. There is not a single thing about him, no match to the name. You go to google, the only thing that comes up or matches the name is a facebook page that has not been updated in years. There are however a dozen or so photos, you start to click through them. A man dressed in a fancy suit, a photo of the same man on a yacht with half naked women. Then the last photo caught your eye. You know this man. The hair color has changed, but all your suspicions were correct. A younger Gov Williams with Carlos and a young Antonio. They were giving him a briefcase, the briefcase you had seen many times. There was a black sedan in the photo. Clicking a few buttons to enlarge the photo you see that it is a BMW, a BMW that had the same plate as the one that had left the house
“Fuck…”
You open a new tab and start an email, adding the name, the photos and the latest details of the car “I need you to search all of the cameras around the city and see where this car has been the last few days” you type “it could be the final pieces we need” you click send and wait for a response. Staying low to the ground you move towards the window turning on the phone you grabbed out of the backpacks. You peek outside making sure everything remains the same outside. The phone in your hand lights up
“Hello?” you whisper
“Stevie…fuck are you ok?” he asks his voice laced with concern and worry
“I’m scared, I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up. But, look I need to know the locations of that car I sent you” you know Javier is going to be looking for you and not the car. You know that even though you told him you were done with him, he was your partner and he wanted to protect you.
“Sending a list now…where are you?” he asks again and you slide back across the floor to the laptop
Looking at the photos, you notice a lot that looks like the place you were a few days ago. A man getting out in camo, a rifle in his hand and a pistol on his hip. Zooming in on the photo you catch a glimpse of a watch. You compare it to the watch you saw in the photo of Colin Williamson. It’s the same watch Gov Williams had too. You just start to wrap your head around the fact that you were right, and that Gov Williams is the one that shot Antonio’s father. It had been him the entire time! A new photo popped up. This time a better shot of the car. A man in a hat, and a red suit that you could tell was Gov Williams with Antonio who had his back to the camera.
“When was this last photo taken?” you as trying to zoom in for more details
“About an hour ago, why?” When you don’t respond he asks you again. Tears starting to bubble in your eyes You need to make your voice neutral, and not crack when you opened your mouth
“Javi…” you pause “I’m sorry…I have to go. I am so sorry”
“Whaaaa” and you hang up the phone before you can hear him continue
This…this was the end. You know he knows, you also know that no matter what you say about the man he is standing with, is the one who killed his father, the life you knew, the life you had was gone. You turn off the phone as Javier’s name lights up on the screen. Quickly shutting it down, you do the same for the laptop and shove the items back into the floorboard. Moving the dresser back over it, you stumble to the bed. Crawling into the bed, you pull the sheets over you and let the tears fall.
You don’t know how long you were asleep, or when he got home but when you wake up he was lying behind you. His arm wrapped loosely around you. He feels you stir and his hand tightens on your waist. You take a deep breath, mind racing as to why he was in your bed.
“Querida” he murmurs into your ear
“When did you get in?” you ask moving your body to face him
“Late. Was with my Fathers business…my business partner. Making final funeral arrangements” he tucks a piece of hair behind your ear “he has information on my Father’s killer”
“Oh?” you grab the wrist that is cradling your head “that’s, uhm. That’s a good thing yes?”
“Yes,” he replies. He lifts your chin so your eyes meet his “and I am going to kill Javier Peña”
A/N: So sorry this is late! It’s been done since yesterday, but I had a ridiculous day yesterday and had no free time to post. But it’s here now!
This could be read as a continuation of one of my previous Javier fics, Handicapped Parking, but could also be read alone
The prompt for this week’s Writer Wednesday was given, as always, by the lovely @autumnleaves1991-blog, and the masterlists are created by @clydesducktape.
“I can’t believe you’ve never been to a pumpkin patch.”
You sighed, leaning over the table to grab your mug from Javier. “I dunno,” you said. “Halloween was never big for me, and then I was in the accident so I could never really go after that. And then when I finally got my feet under me again, I was sent to Colombia, which as we all know, was a shit show.”
Javier snorted, passing Lori her mug. “One hell of a shit show,” he agreed. “But we’re home now, and Lori’s right. The fact that you’ve never done a pumpkin patch might as well be a sin in the Peña family. We used to go every year, sometimes twice.”
Lori laughed. “It’s where I met David!” She said. “This year will be the first year we’re bringing Diane out.” She gasped, happily leaning forward. “You two should come with us!”
You sighed. “I dunno Lori,” you said, cradling your mug between your hands. “My back has been killing me lately. It always does when the weather turns. Plus, I can’t do the mud in my chair or my crutches.”
“We’ll see if we can figure something out,” Javier promised. “If not, we can always try again next year.”
Of course, when you went to bed that night, you popped two muscle relaxers, trying to kill the persistent ache in your back and hips. Javier helped ease you into bed, tucking the blankets around you before crawling in beside you.
“Baby?” You asked softly, rolling over so you were facing Javier. Dimly, you felt pressure below the blankets as Javier tangled his feet with yours.
“Hm?”
You sighed. “Should we do the pumpkin patch tomorrow?”
Javier shrugged in the darkness. “It’s up to you,” he murmured. “If you really want to tomorrow, we’ll do our best. But you know your limits, and I don’t want you pushing them.”
“But-“
“No buts,” Javier interrupted. “My family understands. They won’t ever judge you for what you can or cannot do, no matter how important it is to them.”
You smiled. “Thanks Javi.”
Javier kissed your forehead. “Of course my love. Now get some rest.”
When you woke in the morning, it was to a cup of tea and Javier gently nudging you awake.
“It’s too early,” you groaned, rolling over and yawning. “What time is it?”
“Almost eight,” Javier said with a smile. “Lori called and wants to know if she should bring the van around.”
You sighed, hauling yourself upright and massaging your legs. “Yeah,” you decided. “Weather must’ve finished turning for a while.”
Javier smiled, kissing your forehead and handing you your tea. “Sure you’ll be okay?”
“If not, that’s what flexeril is for,” you said, sliding out of bed and into your chair. Thankfully, your back didn’t hurt too much, and you were able to follow Javier out into the kitchen with no problem. He’d made breakfast already, and you silently thanked him when you eagerly accepted your oatmeal. It had various medicated powders mixed into it, and although it carried a chalky taste, you drenched it in honey and fruits and ate it anyway.
Javier smiled at you as you ate. He’d eaten already and managed to get himself dressed. You watched him wander through the kitchen, absently putting things away and rearranging anything out of place. “Is that shirt new?”
“It’s a little old,” Javier said, his back to you as he put mugs away. “Bought it when we got home.”
“Before or after Cali?”
“After.”
You hummed, finishing your oatmeal and wheeling over to put it in the sink alongside all the rest of the morning’s dishes. “How’s the weather?”
Javier kissed your forehead as you came up to him. “It’s perfect,” he said. “Not too warm, not too cold. Radio says it’ll be 70 as the high today.”
Nodding, you wheeled away, heading towards your room. “So it’s long sleeve weather?”
“Yeah!” Javier called after you. “And wear those overalls you got last spring!”
“You just like those because they make my butt look good.”
“And?”
You poked your head out of your room, tossing a wadded up piece of paper at Javier’s laughing face. “Don’t make me call Steve and tell him you’re bullying me!”
Javier chuckled, coming into the bedroom and pulling out your overalls. You stuck your tongue out at him, snagging one of his flannels to wear underneath the pants.
“Boots?” You asked, sitting on the edge of the bed and looking at your pretty meager shoe collection. Two pairs of sneakers, one pair of slippers, and one pair of steel-lined boots. The boots were ridiculously uncomfortable, but they kept your feet safe in crime scenes, so you didn’t hate them too much.
“Rain boots,” Javier corrected, pulling a pair out of your shared closet. “These should be your size.” He wordlessly helped you wiggle them onto your mildly useless feet, stepping away when he was done so you could grab your crutches by yourself. While you made slow circles around the bed in the hopes that you could coax some more feeling into your feet, Javier pulled on his own boots, the dirt-crusted rubber already making a mess of your carpets.
“Ready?” He asked, pushing open the door. “We have to be there in twenty minutes.”
“Bullshit,” you decided. “You run fifteen minutes early, and I know it.”
Javier’s grin was infectious as he followed you to his truck. The ancient thing was a gift from his father, and although getting you in and out was a pain in the ass, you never asked Javier to trade it out for something easier to use.
You sighed as Javier silently scooped you up out of your wheelchair and put you in the passenger seat of the truck. “Crutches?” He asked, waiting beside you.
“Why not,” you decided. “Sure.”
“Okay.” Javier folded your wheelchair up, taking it back to the house and returning with your crutches under his arm. He tossed them onto the truck’s floor, handing you his keys and shutting the door so he could get into the truck.
The drive was quiet, but you didn’t mind. It gave you a chance to check over the contents of your bag, making sure everything you needed was in there. You never kept much in your bag, a habit you’d learned in Colombia. More stuff equaled a heavier bag, and the heavier the bags the less you could move.
“Got everything?” Javier asked, fiddling with the radio dial.
“Gum, wallet, meds, phone,” you recited, touching each item as you named it. “Yep.”
Javier chuckled. “You know you could keep more now?” He said. “We aren’t in danger anymore.”
Silence drifted through the truck for a second before you shrugged. “It’s habit,” you said softly, promptly ending the conversation.
The rest of the ride was very calm. Neither of you spoke, allowing the radio to wash over you and the cool fall air to ruffle yours and Javier’s hair after you opened your window. It was the same gentle rhythm you’d set up in Colombia, the silence and the understanding. It worked well for two people trying to navigate life after having been through hell.
Finally, the pumpkin patch came into view. You smiled, already seeing Lori and David, Diane in her stroller between them. Javier parked and immediately came around to help you out of the truck. Usually, he didn’t help you, but the ground was soft and the truck wasn’t the easiest thing to exit, so he held your hands as you slid out of the truck, smiling when you nudged him away with your crutch.
“You came!” Lori said excitedly, running up to you. “We didn’t think you’d come!”
“Couldn’t miss out on a Peña family tradition, could I?” You asked happily, hugging Lori and David in turn. “How’s Diane?”
Lori looked down at her daughter, all bundled up in a soft sweater. “She’s good,” she promised. “She’s been sleeping through the night a lot recently!”
“Finally,” David added.
Javier came up behind you, setting a hand against the small of your back. “Still okay?”
“Yeah,” you promised. “Yeah. Warm today, my muscles aren’t yelling at me yet.”
“We have a wheelbarrow for pumpkins,” Lori offered. “That way no one has to carry theirs.”
Javier nodded. “Perfect,” he said. “Now, let’s go.”
There was always something you loved about fall weather. It was beautiful and mystifying, the perfect blend of warm and cold, sunny and shady. The sky was dappled grey, the beginnings of the night’s rainstorm, but the air was light and sweet, not weighed heavy by rain yet. All around you, children and adults alike looked for pumpkins, the children racing back to their parents to happily show off what they’d found. Beyond the pumpkins was a barn with the farm’s name on it, and you occasionally saw an employee in a bright orange shirt helping someone out.
“This is beautiful,” you said happily to Javier as you walked, him going slow for your sake. “The weather is perfect.”
Javier nodded. “After this,” he said. “We’ll go home and carve our pumpkins. Lori’s got Mama’s cider recipe, so she’ll make that. We have a few movies we like to watch, but it kinda depends on who’s with us. I think this year, Lori wants to just put on the TV and see what we can find.”
“Like how we did that horror marathon with Steve?” You asked. “I’d like to watch Ghostbusters again. And Little Shop was good.”
“Oh don’t let Lori hear you,” Javier said, his tone light. “She’s a horror nut, and will insist those aren’t real horror films.”
You chuckled, watching Lori and David look at pumpkins together. “I know,” you admitted. “But I can’t watch those kinds of movies anymore.”
Javier was silent, but you felt the understanding rippling off him. He knew why, knew that whenever you saw blood, real or fake, it reminded you of the bodies, of the carnage you’d witnessed. It took some learning, but he knew where your boundaries lay with films, what was okay and what wasn’t.
“Pumpkins?” Your voice broke him from his thinking.
“Yeah,” Javier agreed. “Let’s find a pumpkin.”
You went slow, eagerly looking at all the different pumpkins. Most of them were huge, and Javier determined they’d be good for carving. He grabbed his, a pumpkin the size of his chest, and excitedly handed it over to Lori and David, who had the wheelbarrow.
“Do you want one?” Javier asked, seeing you eyeing some of the pumpkins scattered around. “You’re allowed to pick one to take home, y’know.”
“This one,” you decided, poking a pumpkin with your right crutch. The pumpkin was a squat little thing, bumpy and misshapen with one side obviously bigger than the other. The bumps scattered across the surface were green, a deep forest green that reminded you of your old tac vest. “This is my pumpkin.”
Javier raised an eyebrow at your pumpkin. “Babe that thing is hideous.”
You nodded. “It’s ugly,” you agreed. “And it’s unique. Like me.” Before Javier could protest, you cut him off. “I know I’m not ugly. But conventionally, I’m not beautiful. I’m uniquely beautiful. Just like this pumpkin.”
Sighing, Javier picked the pumpkin up. “Well,” he decided. “I love you. And I love your ugly pumpkin too.”
Grinning, you leaned across the pumpkin and kissed Javier. “You’re the best.”
“I know.”
You left the pumpkin patch shortly after that. With the upcoming storm, your back began to ache, and once you had your pumpkin in the truck, it was time to go.
“I wish I could’ve stayed longer,” you grumbled, leaning out the window to watch the patch disappear.
“Next year,” Javier promised. “We can always come back next year.”
You smiled, resting your arms on the windowsill and letting the wind cradle you as Javier drove home.
Lori was waiting for you at home, happily helping drag the pumpkins in. “Got any spare newspapers?” She asked, hauling Javier’s massive pumpkin into the house. “We should cover the table.”
“It’s on the counter near the coffee pot!” Javier called as he went into the closet to grab your wheelchair. “Here you go babe.”
You smiled, taking Javier’s hands and easing yourself into your chair. You propped your crutches up by the door, watching as Javier kicked his muddy boots off and then instantly bent down to take yours off, resting the mud-caked boots right beside his.
You kissed him as he stood upright, watching his ears go red as he pulled away and helped Lori lay newspapers on the table. David brought Diane in, and you eagerly accepted her into your lap while the other three adults grabbed pumpkin carving tools and went to town on their pumpkins.
“What do you think Diane?” You asked her, taking her tiny hands and smiling. “Think we should make it a contest?”
Javier snorted, whirling a knife between his fingers before sinking it into the top of his pumpkin.
“Uncle Javi thinks that idea is crap,” you said with a smile. “I think he just knows he’s gonna lose.”
Lori laughed as Javier paused in his carving, giving you an amused look of complete murder. “Really?” He asked, lips quirking into a small smile. “That’s how we’re playing this game?”
“Yes,” you said firmly, your mischievous smile still present. “Diane agrees.”
Diane, in that moment, gave you all a gummy smile and gurgled happily.
“See?” You said. “Agrees with me.”
David picked up a scoop, beginning to scrape the insides out of his pumpkin. “Got a bowl?”
“Oh!” Lori stopped Javier as he grabbed a bowl for pumpkin guts. “Save the seeds!”
“No,” you and Javier said at the same time.
“They’re gross!” You said, watching David laugh behind Lori.
Lori pouted. “You are all monsters,” she decided, crossing her arms. “No cider for monsters.”
“I’m sorry Lori,” Javier said, passing her the guts bowl. “But they’re nasty.”
“No cider!”
You laughed at Javier’s downright betrayed expression. It had been a long time since he’d been able to do things as mundane as playfully argue with his sister, and you enjoyed watching him relax. Maybe today would be one of the days neither of you woke in a cold sweat, plagued by nightmares.
Diane cooed in your lap, and you nodded. “Mhm,” you agreed. “Of course. Diane says y’all need to hurry up. We’re bored over here.”
Javier gestured loosely to you with his scraper. “Can’t rush art,” he said without looking up. You rolled your eyes, but settled back in your chair and watched Javier carve his pumpkin.
It took almost twenty minutes for Javier to finish his pumpkin. At that point, Lori was done with her stereotypical pumpkin face and was making the cider, her carved pumpkin out on the porch beside your ugly pumpkin. David had finished his second, the cat and moon design a bit more intricate than Lori’s face. And Javier stubbornly refused to show you what he was carving, no matter how hard you begged.
“It isn’t done yet,” he insisted every time you asked. You pouted, watching him pick up another tool and scrape away at the pumpkin’s surface. “Almost there.”
Lori peered around Javier’s shoulder, her smile growing. “That’s adorable.”
“Thanks.”
You rolled your eyes, handing Diane back to David before standing up and wobbling towards Javier. He looked up, instantly putting his knife down and rushing up to meet you, wrapping you in a hug before you could hit the ground.
“Sit,” he said firmly, easing you back into your chair. “Please. You’ll only hurt yourself.”
“I’m a fully capable adult,” you countered stubbornly, standing again, feeling your left knee buckle. You locked it, ignoring the twitch of pain that raced through your face.
Javier stopped you again, this time keeping his hands on your shoulders so you wouldn’t stand again. “Just sit still. For me, please?”
You sighed. “For you,” you agreed quietly.
Ten minutes later, Javier was turning his pumpkin around. You looked up, away from the cider pot you’d been helping Lori with. “What do you think?” Javier asked, his slightly lopsided proud smile on display.
You nearly started crying. Carved into the pumpkin in surprising detail was your silhouette, wheelchair and all. The wheel circles were wobbly and the proportions on your body were a bit off, but you stood and walked into Javier’s arms all the same, tears burning in your eyes. “It’s perfect!” You cried. “It’s absolutely perfect!”
Javier rubbed your back, helping you sit in his lap at the table. “I’m glad you like it,” he said. “Now we both have uniquely beautiful pumpkins.”
After that, all the pumpkins went to the porch and you snuggled up on the couch with large cups of hot cider and a collection of VHS tapes scattered around.
“Ghostbusters?” You asked innocently, curled in a ball next to Javier. “I like that one.”
“What about Scream?” David asked, picking the movie up.
“Ghostbusters,” Javier insisted. “We don’t do horror. Sorry Lori.”
Lori shrugged. “Nah, I get it. David, can you put Ghostbusters in the thing?”
David nodded, standing and popping the VHS into its slot.
As the movie began, you snuggled closer to Javier. “Rain’s gonna start in five,” you mumbled, leaning up against his shoulder.
Just as predicted, the rain began five minutes later, and Javier chuckled. “Got them magic hips,” he said softly, kissing the top of your head. “Did you have fun today?”
“I did,” you said. “Thank you for letting me join you.”
“Thank you for coming,” Javier replied. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” You took a sip of your cider, feeling the warmth spread through your belly. As you watched the movie, you relaxed fully into the couch. The perfect end to the perfect day.
You looked over at Javier, deciding with a grin that it was the perfect end to the perfect day, all with the perfect man.
a/n: Thank you endlessly to @krissology for looking this over for me - I appreciate it more than you know. Dedicated to my love, @mourningbirds1 ❤️ This is my very first Javi — be gentle!
–
The whiskey sliding smoothly down his throat, Javier chased it with a drag of his cigarette and glanced at the clock. The heel of his hand rubbed away at the tension between his brows as the day’s events settled between them and he hoped this would help take the edge off. It usually did.
Standing from the bed, his cigarette dangled from his lips as he retrieved a second glass from the bathroom and he set it out next to his on the night table. Water, or whiskey — that’s all he had — but it wasn’t like staying in a hotel room made a difference. Even at home, where he usually did this, that’s all he kept on hand. Looking at the bottle, he wondered if the maids ever drank what he left after he checked out. He hoped somebody did, and a knock on his hotel door interrupted his train of thought.
Grinding the cigarette out in the nearest ashtray, he tilted his face towards the ceiling while standing before the mirror and blew out the last stream of smoke. He adjusted his collar before opening the door.
“Hello,” you smiled politely, trying not to fidget. Fidgeting made you look nervous, and you didn’t want that. Confidence, you silently reminded yourself. That’s what they like.
kelli the way you write is absolutely hypnotic. You can slow down and focus on a scene while also making the pacing feel fluent and not sluggish and god its all just so hazy and romantic and Javi is just- im in love. You are AMAZING and i need to go scream now.
TJ ❤️
No one touch me, I’m compromised —
Someone with your talent? And your softness? With the romance and love that’s infused in every one of your fics, saying these things about mine??
YOU are amazing and I’ll never stop screaming about it. To know that you loved this one means the world!
