*nemesism:frustration, anger or aggression directed inward, toward oneself and one’s way of living.
a/n: can you tell im in a naruto mood? :) also, i find itachi hard to write for because i don’t know if because of what happened to him he’d ever would’ve been capable of love. i do, however, think he was an incredibly kind man and thus, this was born.
word count: 1,308
“Is being partnered with me that daunting?”
Huffing, you dig your nails into the palm of your hand.
You wished he’d just, quite honestly, fuck off.
“For your information,” you curtly reply, head whipping over your shoulder to send a nasty glare his way. “It is.”
“Why?”
There he goes again.
What other response was possible, for a man like him than a completely calm, level-headed, void of any emotion at all? Itachi was always like this and he had been the day he recruited you to the Akatsuki, to now–right in this moment as he followed you back to your room, refusing to just fuck off.
Always so rational, never ever had you seen him lose him cool or say something he didn’t mean. Words and actions didn’t seem to surprise him, and sometimes it felt like he was always ten steps ahead of you–ahead of everyone–because everything he did was done in stride without a second of doubt in his own skills.
He was infuriatingly logical, and what probably pissed you off the most was he had the skills to back up his confidence.
Since the day he recruited you, you’ve actively avoided him. You’d been sought after by the Akatsuki, by Pein, because of your stealth skill. You were good at getting around without attracting attention, and knew how to infiltrate villages and enemy territory without ever being caught. You’d figured, years back, that Pein had wanted you because you’d never failed a single mission you’d been assigned and when you’d defected from your village, it was almost impossible to find you.
The only one who had had been Itachi.
Almost immediately he’d left a sour taste in your mouth.
You didn’t like people, and you most certainly didn’t like him and so your one saving grace had been the fact that Pein had granted you your one wish–to have no partner. You didn’t have to suffer someone who’d slow you down, or get you caught and rather, you did what you were told in exchange for being left alone otherwise.
Until Orochimaru left the Akatsuki and Itachi was left without a partner.
No amount of arguing changed Pein’s mind, and you weren’t stupid enough to think you could beat him. You were a skilled ninja in combat, yes, but you were better at stealth and Pein knew that. You couldn’t defy him because he’d crush you, and you couldn’t run because he did everything to make sure you couldn’t escape his grasps.
And so, here you were, now stuck with Itachi as your partner.
Him of all people.
“Is it so hard to imagine someone might not want to be partnered with you?”
Your words come out sharp, a low hiss in response to Itachi’s refusal to simply have the decency to leave you alone. Your first mission together wasn’t until early tomorrow morning and you’re not sure why it was so necessary for him to bother you now–you’d rather just go to bed.
Maybe whine about it to yourself for a while.
But you certainly didn’t wanthim here.
“I don’t much care for others opinions on myself,” Itachi responds softly, grating your nerves further. “I am, however, curious as to why it bothers you so much.”
Eyes clenching shut, you feel your jaw hurt from how hard you’ve been clenching it. It’s taken all of your strength not to burst out your anger and seem like an absolute petulant child in front of a man who exuded such maturity and confidence.
But your patience was wearing thin.
“I was perfectly fine on my own!” You cry out, spinning to face him as you wave your arm before yourself. “You’ll just get him my way.”
And in a fit of rage and a lack of rational thought, you race forward, your hand slipping from underneath your cloak to send a kunai directly through Itachi’s neck. Damn if it’d get you killed–you never even wanted to join the Akatsuki in the first place! Every damn decision in your life has never been made from you, and now you were stuck in a organization that prayed on innocent people with no escape.
You don’t make it far. In a second, your wrist is clasp by Itachi’s hand, slightly pinching, as he halts your momentum, leaving you stood before him, breathless.
Itachi doesn’t seem annoyed or even angry that you’d, quite literally, just attempted to kill him. Instead, you see the first incline of any sort of emotion from his as the corners of his eyes pinch and a small smile curls onto his lips.
“I assure you, I am perfectly capable of completing my missions.”
You barely register his words. You’re so completely caught off by his smile, by the odd softness in his eyes that you’re stunned silent. It’s not just the fact that you’ve never seen anything other than a blank expression on Itachi’s face, but the fact that such a soft, warming glance is directed at you.
You don’t think anyone’s ever look at you that way.
“I–”
His grip turns gentle, and the kunai slips out of your hands, clattering to the ground as Itachi gently pulls you forward. The two of you close, not intimately, but you’re sure you’ve never once stood so close to Itachi, or another human like this in a long time. Not without the intent to kill.
As he lowers his hand, yours follows, falling by your side.
“I understand you didn’t want to join the Akatsuki.”
Brows furrowing, you glance up at Itachi.
“That you were forced to.”
“Yes,” you breathe, “by you.”
Itachi’s eyes fall shut, and he nods. “It was I who requested we be partnered, and Leader was forced to listen.”
You’re confused; beyond confused. Forcedto listen? Was Itachi so strong that he’s able to control Pein himself?
“I understand you don’t want to hurt innocents either.”
“Uchiha, I don’t know–”
“I won’t make you,” he cuts in, sharply, words confident. “You’ll never have to hurt another innocent again if you don’t want to.”
“I don’t understand,” you shake your head. “How…” You want to ask how he can promise that, what he’s done to make it possible. But really, the most important question that appears in your mind is; “why? Why would you do all of this for me?”
It doesn’t make sense. Itachi was the one who recruited you for the Akatsuki in the first place. He was the one who’d brought you here, who’d forced you to wear the cloak and bow to Pein.
And beyond that, the two of you have never spoken a single word to each other.
You’ve avoided him, glared at him, cursed at him…
Why would he go so far for you?
“It’s because,” Itachi speaks up, voice quiet, a mere whisper. And you notice he shifts, the grip on your wrist still there, but he pulls your eyes on his own, that same soft, oddly reassuring gaze looking back down at you.
And his words that follow shock you, leave your lips part and your mind blank with a lack of how to respond.
“When I look in your eyes, it’s like I’m staring back at myself.”
But somehow, they make your heart hurt and your eyes water. It’s like you’ve lost all control of your own emotions and you feel yourself being swallowed up by the emotions you’ve so desperately ignored, so desperately pushed to the back of your mind, desperate to forget.
His words are so odd, so… baffling; and yet, they’re so warming, so reassuring… so kindtoo.
“I want to help you.”
You’ve never liked Itachi. For years you’d blamed him for bringing you here, thinking he was the sole reason for your suffering.
And, yeah, maybe he was…
But still, strangely enough, you trust his words completely.
You were in the same academy class, and you graduated just shortly after him; not quite as skilled as him, but skilled enough to skip a few years. He’s been a constant in your life that you’ve always seen, that’s always been there.
Though, you spoken no more than probably… ten words to him.
You hadn’t liked him as a child–he’d seemed incredibly full of himself, and at that point in your life, you hadn’t been interested in making friends with really anyone. You’d mainly kept to yourself back then, the pain still fresh, and had elected to really just watch in the background.
He’d caught you a few times, nodded at you, and that had been the extent of your relationship.
You’d been assigned your team, he’d been his. Shortly around then was when Kushina had found you, hidden away in a corner of an alley, crying and sobbing whilst shaking violently. She’d taken you in after that, offered you a roof when you needed it, or a shoulder to cry on when you couldn’t bottle it up anymore. She was the only person you’d ever opened up to, and you owed your life to her.
Thus, of course, you’d known Kakashi had been assigned under her husband, Minato’s, watch and care with the rest of his team. You weren’t, also, cold enough to have not noticed the way he’d lost one teammate, Obito Uchiha, and then shortly there after, his other teammate, Rin Nohara had followed. You had keen eyes, noticed things other never did; and of course, you’d noticed how much the death of his teammates had effected him.
But still, you never reached out. Never offered any words of sympathy. Honestly, you hadn’t said anything, and he went on acting like he didn’t notice your persistent watching.
Minato kept an eye on him, and sometimes, because of chance, the two of you were forced to communicate one way or another. It was really nothing ever more than a greeting, maybe a check in but it was always abundantly clear the both of you were never completelyhonest with how either of you were really doing.
And it continued on like that.
Then, years passed. Minato became Hokage, Kakashi joined the ANBU, you continued on missions as a Jounin and helped Kushina while she was pregnant. You spent most of your days off with her, while Minato was stuck in the Hokage’s tower; kept her company, doted on her like she had doted on you for years. You remember the exact moment she told you her baby’s name for the first time, and the way the name had felt so right.
Naruto…
And then, the Nine-Tailed beast attack happened, and because of it Minato and Kushina died the day Naruto had been born.
You took in Naruto, and everything after that followed.
So, yes, you’ve known Kakashi your entire life. But the two of you have never been close, never been friends–not even really acquaintances really. You knew him, he knew you, but the was really the extent of it.
It’s why you’re shocked, above all, when the Third Hokage informs you just who’sbeen assigned as Naruto’s sensei.
“But-But… he’s an arrogant prick!”
The words slip past your lips before you can stop them, and almost instantly, you recognize your mistake when the Hokage raises a simply brow at you. You don’t even really mean them, if you’re being honest, and you’re not sure why you’re so bothered at the thought of himbeing Naruto’s sensei.
He’s never actively done anything to rub you the wrong way–and if you’re being honest, you know he’s suffered, and that most importantly, at the end of the day, he isn’t a cruel man.
“I mean,” you huff, swallowing thickly as you feel your cheeks warm slightly in embarrassment. “He’s… He’s well–”
“I assure you, Y/N, he is perfectly capable of leading a genin team.”
Biting your lip, you shake your head. “I never meant to insinuate he wasn’t. It’s just… hasn’t he yet to pass a single Genin team yet? Despite how many he’s been assigned?”
The Third Hokage smiles, actuallysmiles, clasping his hands before him. “That is true, yes.”
Your eyes bulge, nearly popping out of their sockets. “Then, Naruto will–!”
“Such little faith in Naruto, Y/N,” Hiruzen teases lightly, the smile never fading as you falter, grumbling slightly to yourself. The Hokage simply shakes his head, knowing his words were anything but true–if anyone hadfaith in Naruto, it was you. “Besides,” he continues after a moment, straightening up as he sends another smile, this one softer, more genuine, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “I have a feeling this time it’ll be different.”
Casting one more look at the Hokage, you sigh, shoulders falling.
You can only hope he’s right.
-
It seems the Third Hokage had been, in fact, right.
Because when you go to pick Naruto up that evening, he’s practically smiling from ear to ear, bounding up to you with exasperated breath and a pep in his step.
You noticed out of the corner of your eye that one of his teammates, the pink-haired girl, Sakura Haruno, is still there, listening intently to, nevertheless, Kakashi.
“Nee-chan! Nee-chan!”
You don’t get the chance to dwell long at the sight of Kakashi, a man you feel has hardly changed at all since you last saw him, whilst at the same time seeming like a completely different man. Naruto’s desperately calling for your attention, and you have half the mind to realize you shouldn’t ignore him–not when he’s so clearly excited.
Bending down to meet his eyes properly, you grin.
“How did the first day as a real ninja go?”
His eyes are practically shining with glee, and the words come pouring from his lips before he can stop himself. “It was amazing! And guess what, nee-chan, Kakashi-sensei’s not going to send us back to the academy, believe it! Even though, for a moment there, I really thought he was going to…”
Your brows furrow; “send you back to the academy?”
Naruto nods. “Yeah, we had to pass his test.” He gestures behind himself, towards the man, and just as your eyes flicker up to glance at him, his eyes are already on you. He seems mildly surprised at the sight of you, his mind blanking for a moment on why you’re so familiar–until he remembers.
“Y/L/N?” He calls, Sakura rushing off from him as he turns towards you, making his way over to you. “What’re you doing here?”
It’s probably the most either of you have said to one another, and you’ve yet to say anything.
Straightening up, you set a hand on top of Naruto’s head, smiling gently. “Here to pick Naruto up.”
He seems mildly surprised at you speaking, which causes pause, before his brows furrow; glancing from Naruto, back up to you.
Noticing the confusion in his gaze, you let out a light laugh; “I’m his caretaker. I have been for twelve years.”
Kakashi’s eyes widen, surprise flooding them.
Huh, it was odd. Most of the village knew about your position as Naruto’s caretaker, especially since it was considered taboo amongst almost everyone given who Naruto was.
“Ne, ne, Y/N-nee-chan,” Naruto calls, pulling your attention back on him before Kakashi can respond. When you glance down at him, he’s looking up at you curiously, head tilted slightly. “You know Kakashi-sensei?”
Meeting Kakashi’s eyes once more, you nod slowly; “yeah, we were in the same class together.”
Kakashi laughs lightly; “seems so long ago, now.”
“It was,” you smile, words soft as you shrug.
Silence echoes, just briefly, and the two of you just look at each other. You can’t explain the feeling, can’t explain why the words seem lost on you–you and Kakashi had never been close, never had any sort of relationship worth mentioning. But, for some reason, in this moment, it feels like two friends rekindling for the first time in years.
“You two graduated together?!”
Blinking, your lips part at the sound of Naruto’s voice.
Leave it to him to interrupt the silence.
Ruffling his hair lightly, you shake your head; “not exactly. Kakashi-san graduated early.”
“If I remember,” Kakashi speaks up, raising a single finger, “you weren’t that far behind me.”
Shrugging, you let out a light laugh; “no, I guess I wasn’t.”
A minute of silence beats, before Kakashi speaks up; “I never would’ve thought you’d taken in Naruto.”
“Yes, well, I never would’ve pegged you as a teacher.”
The two of you let out a short laugh, and you nearly lose yourself in the moment, before a tug on your shirt pulls you back to reality.
“Ne, nee-chan, can we get Ichiraku for dinner tonight?” Meeting Naruto’s eyes, your lips part to argue, before he adds; “as a celebration?”
And, that, paired with the puppy-dog look in his eyes has you agreeing quite easily.
“Well, it was nice seeing you Kakashi-san,” you offer a small wave at the man, smiling. “I’m sure I’ll be seeing you around, then.”
He blinks, snapping out of whatever revere he’d been in, shuffling on his feet before returning your wave.
“Yes, I assume we will.”
-
Kakashi had always noticed you.
He noticed you because he always thought you were like him. In more ways then one.
When he’d walked into class that first day, you’d been the first one he saw. Sat way up in a corner all by yourself, head turned towards the window whilst it rested in your palm, and starkly quiet compared to the chattering young kids around you that laughed and joked. You didn’t even bat them a single look, completely enthralled in the outside world, away from everyone else.
It was like that every day from then on.
Sometimes you looked outside, sometimes you would be looking at fellow classmates. He’d caught you staring at him a few times, but had never, oddly, felt bothered by it.
He didn’t really know how it made him feel–all he knew is if he happened to catch you, he’d nod, attempt at a smile which never really reached you thanks to his own awkwardness, and not to mention the mask on his face. You either didn’t like him or never noticed it, because you would simply turn away and say or do nothing in response.
He honestly thought you were stuck-up for a long while after that.
Until he caught a conversation he was positive he was never supposed to hear.
It had to do with your past, where you came from, and what had happened to you. Kakashi understood after that why you were the way you were–why you didn’t talk to anyone, why you preferred to keep to yourself.
He’d always meant to talk to you. Always meant to say something. But it wasn’t in his nature as much as it wasn’t in yours, and instead, he graduated, and then got put on a team with Obito and Rin and he saw less and less of you.
You, quite honestly, drifted from his mind.
Then, he saw you with Kushina one day and was reminded of it all.
He’d been surprised, shocked still at the sight of you standing there, laughing and chatting openly with Kushina. You were like a completely different person, an alternate of yourself; Kakashi’s never seen you smile so brightly… actually, he’s almost positive he’s never even seenyou smile at all. And your eyes were shining with warm and adoration, and he almost feels like he’s never actually heard you speak until that moment.
Like this was his first time ever hearing your voice, ever hearing you say words. If he thought hard enough, he’s positive that it actually was.
And… your voice was so soft; so… reassuring.
Kakashi thinks then maybe you’ve changed. Maybe you’ve opened up. because this was so incredibly different from the person he’d known back in the academy.
But the second Kushina leaves and you’re left alone with him, you return to your normal self. Quiet, distant, eyes simply watching, mouth refusing to speak.
It doesn’t take long for him to reason you’re only like that around Kushina.
So, life continues on almost parallel to how it had in the academy. He means to talk to you, but never does, and slowly he finds his own world crumbling beneath his feet that he barely has the mind to notice you when he feels himself being swallowed whole by the pain that courses through his body daily.
And, then, when Kushina and Minato die, he doesn’t see you at all.
He doesn’t know what happened to you, and he doesn’t care to look.
Kakashi fell into a dark hole, one where he became a person he’d never thought possible–you, once again, disappear from his mind completely and he forgets about you.
Kakashi would’ve never expected to see you that day, with Naruto, smiling and chatting exactly like you had back with Kushina. It was like that day all those years ago, your eyes were twinkling with warmth and you were smiling so brightly, and he was almost scared to approach you in fear that it was disappear like it had last time.
Except, while the smile fades slightly, the warmth in your eyes doesn’t and you actually hold a conversation with him.
It’s clear to him that Naruto’s changed you. Filled you with a warmth only someone as innocent as a child could. Or, more specifically, a child like Narutocould. He figures it’s because of who Naruto’s mother is and how similar the two are that he’s able to have that much of an impact on you as a person. To change who you are so much that you don’t shy away from conversation, and you’re not afraid to be openly affectionate with him.
Naruto has done just as much good for you as you have him.
You’re like a completely changed person and the sight is so surprising but so… niceto see that the way it makes him feel is enough to confuse Kakashi even of his ownemotions.
He relishes in the words the two of you share, and when you leave, he has to bite his tongue from calling out to you; from trying to get you to stay.
He’s reminded of this pull you’ve always had on him.
This connection he feels with you that Kakashi’s almost positive you have noidea of.
It’s completely one sided, but the fact that you were even able to smile at him is enough for Kakashi. And when you leave, your back slowly disappearing from his gaze, Kakashi can’t help but think that maybe, this was it.
*lacuna:a blank space; a missing piece or, “you’re my missing piece”.
word count: 4,026
a/n:here it is! (like four days late) my new series :) it will eventually be a kakashi hatake x reader, but im starting off things slow. i honestly have no idea how long this’ll be, we are just kind of going with the flow currently. nonetheless, i hope you guys enjoy this first chapter!
“Lord Third—!”
“We’ve set him up with an apartment, I’ve taken care of how his monthly expenses will work once he’s old enough. Y/N, honestly, there is no need for worry. The boy will be taken care of.”
*lacuna:a blank space; a missing piece or, “you’re my missing piece”.
word count: 4,026
a/n:here it is! (like four days late) my new series :) it will eventually be a kakashi hatake x reader, but im starting off things slow. i honestly have no idea how long this’ll be, we are just kind of going with the flow currently. nonetheless, i hope you guys enjoy this first chapter!
“Lord Third—!”
“We’ve set him up with an apartment, I’ve taken care of how his monthly expenses will work once he’s old enough. Y/N, honestly, there is no need for worry. The boy will be taken care of.”
“By who?”
The Hokage frowns, and you can tell by his lack of response that there isn’t specifically anyone.
Huffing, your shoulders fall. Your throat feels raw and the pure desperation flooding through your veins is making you lose sight of coherent thought. All you can think about is getting your point across, about trying to make the Hokage see reason—he had to see reason.
He had to understand.
“He’sjusta child,” you cry out; forgetting yourself, forgetting who you’re stood before. “He shouldn’t grow up alone.”
“Y/N,youare a child yourself.”
Faltering, you shake your head, apprehension coursing through you as his words sink in. He was right, of course he was—you were just a child, no older than fourteen and by all rights, you were probably, realisticallythe least most qualified person to take care of a child. Of a babyno less. But he had nobody else. Not anymore, and certainly not when everyone who heard his name shrank away in pure terror.
No one wanted to take care of him, a mere baby, because of what was inside him. It hardly mattered either way to you—Kushina had had the same ‘monster’ in her, and she’d been like a mother to you. A guiding figure in your life. Never once had she scared you, hurt you and rather, she’d comforted you, cared for you and loved you when no one else had.
You weren’t afraid of this monster and you certainly weren’t afraid of this baby.
What did it even matter that you were a child? You’d been taking care of yourself for as long as you could remember and had done just fine.
Besides, anything was better than growing up alone.
You knew that better than anyone.
“Kushina and Minato took care of me when no one else would,” you whisper, the Hokage’s eyes widening at the mention of theirnames, a deep frown curling onto his lips. “Kushina was like the mother I never had and I know she would hate if her baby, her songrew up alone. With no one to love him. To hold him, carefor him…
“I know I am just a child myself, Lord Third. But please,” steeling your gaze, you meet his own firmly, squaring your shoulders. “I don’t want Naruto to grow up not knowing what love feels like.”
His lips part, but words hesitate to leave.
“Like I did.”
Letting out a sigh, the Hokage’s head falls in defeat. It takes him a moment, a pause in thought, before his head is lifting and he’s pushing himself to his feet. You watch him closely as he rounds his table, before stopping before you, a gentle hand falling on your shoulder and a soft smile curling onto his lips.
“I will help with expenses and we will figure out how to work out missions for you.”
Your eyes gleam with hope, promise shining in them.
“But, Y/N, are you absolutely sure?”
And without hesitation, without even a thoughtof doubt, you nod.
“Of course I am.”
Before you know it, he’s in your arms. A bundle of giggles and blonde hair, wrapped up tightly in a blue blanket with small, chubby hands reaching out for you. You see Minato in him, the tufts of blonde hair and striking blue eyes, but it’s the expression in his eyes–just a baby, no more than a few weeks old–that you see Kushina staring back at you.
The tears well in your eyes before you can stop them, blurring your vision as he continues to babble on up at you.
Reaching out a finger, you poke at the whiskers marking his cheeks ever-so-gently, a smile curling onto your lips when he giggles at the touch. The sound is infectious and it warms your heart, love blooming in your chest as you sniffle.
“My names Y/N, Naruto,” you whisper, “and I’m going to take care of you for your mama and papa.”
—
“Naruto!”
His head is bowed so all you can see is his wild blonde hair staring back at you, hands folded in his lap as he brings his knees closer to his chest. You know it’s an attempt to hide himself from you; definitely, at the very least, hiding his face from your eyes. But you’ve been nearly out of your mind in worry for him, searching high and low through the village, that you don’t have the mind to care.
Falling to your knees before him, you let out a huff. “I’ve been worried sick about you, Naruto! You know you’re not supposed to–”
But your words fall silent as he slowly tips his head up, just enough to see his face and the scuffs marks across his forehead and his clothes, dirtying the freshly washed shirt you’d given him earlier that morning. However, that hardly bothers you and rather, it’s the large bruise across his cheek that catches your attention, eyes widening in panic as you instantly reach out for him, fingers softly brushing against the darkening mark as he winces.
“Naruto… What happened?”
Your voice is soft, a mere whisper; not a single trace of anger or frustration left in your voice as you frown deeply, chest tightening with panic.
Who could’ve done this to him? A little boy, no older than four–
Thenit sinks.
“Naruto,” you call gently, a hand falling to his chin where you gently tip it upwards, meeting his eyes properly. “Did the villagers do this to you?”
His eyes instantly water, bottom lip wobbling as you feel your heart practically shatter. It’s not only the sight–a little boy, reduced to tears by cruel adults who sneer at him, say horrible, cruel things to him, and throw things at him hard enough to leave bruises. But the realization that no matter how hard you try, no matter how many times you’ve yelled and pleaded–falling to your knees, begging, in front of people–just for them to stop.
Stop terrorizing him.
None of it matters.
Their fear is too strong that they hardly care to see reason.
“I-I don’t understand,” Naruto babbles—words slurred and fumbled as tears stream down his cheeks and a sob wretches past his lips. You hastily wipe at his tears, the frown on your lips deepening as his tiny fingers grip onto the hem of his shirt, knuckles white. “I didn’t do anything!”
And he’s right of course. He hasn’t. Naruto, four years old, hasn’t done other than maybe break a plate or throw a tantrum for a silly reason. He’s a perfectly innocent child, maybe a little mischievous but nothing more than that.
But this monster, this thing inside of him—that was hardly in his control—had. More than just had; it’s killed people. Innocents. Terrorized the village. Killed Naruto’s own parents. And it’s just because it’s inside Naruto that he’s feared.
It’s hardly fair but you can’t do anything about it.
Mustering a smile to your lips, you hope it’s convincing enough as you lean back, pulling Naruto gently up to his feet. He lets you lead him, the tears having faded but still a frown on his lips as you dust off the dirt on his clothes, tidying him up.
“Come on, Naruto.” You call gently, brushing a hand over his bruise. “Let’s get you home, get you in some new clothes and how about I take you out for ramen tonight?”
Almost instantly, his face brightens. His eyes shine at the thought of his favourite food, especially from Ichiraku and not cup-style, and the pain is far from his gaze as he eagerly takes your extended hand, threading his fingers through your own firmly. His hand feels warm in yours, and like a perfect fit as you squeeze back, chuckling to yourself as he bounds ahead of you, skipping and pulling you along.
—
“You didn’t have to walk me…”
“It’s your first day, Naruto! Of course I had to.”
Blushing profusely, Naruto huffs, turning his head away from you as you merely sigh, shaking your head.
“Lot’s of other kids have their parents walking them.” You call out, hoping that he’s not actually that mad at you for your insistence to walk him—you knew it was slightly embarrassing, but you couldn’t help yourself! You remember your first day at the academy and how nervous you’d been. You didn’t want Naruto to have to go alone.
Even though the young boy was the complete opposite of you and was the furthest thing from nervous.
Crouching down next to Naruto, you point ahead of yourself. “Look, there’s a pretty pink-haired girl walking with her dad. See?”
Naruto peeks slightly, behind his hand which he’s used to cover his reddening cheeks, and when seeing what you have, his shoulders slowly fall and his hand returns to his side. The red in his cheeks fade slightly and he takes a good look around, noticing that, yes, in fact, lot’s of kids were being walked to school by their parents.
“…Thank you, Y/N-nee-chan.”
Smiling softly, you ruffle the top of Naruto’s head, laughing as he quickly swats at your hands.
“Your hairs already a mess, Naruto. I’m helping.”
“No, I styled it this morning!”
“With what?”
“Water.”
Rolling your eyes, you snort—but still, you pull your hand away.
“Okay,” you inhale sharply, “you’ll be good, right?”
Meeting your eyes, Naruto huffs. “Of course.”
Quirking a brow, you raise a finger, starting to list of the rules you’d gone through with him before. “No pranks, no yelling or interrupting the teacher, stay in your seat until the end of class–”
“Yes,yes, Y/N-nee-chan! I get it!”
Huffing, you nod, a smile gracing your lips as you reluctantly stop. A quick glance to your right and you see Iruka-sensei calling forth the new students and know it’s time to say goodbye.
Ignoring the tightening of your chest and the worry, you turn back to Naruto, setting your hands over his arms.
“I’ll pick you up after school, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Right here.”
“Yes! I’m gonna be late.”
Knowing Naruto’s right, you nod, letting go of him with a nervous smile.
But, just before he runs off, Iruka’s voice growing louder, Naruto leans forward, pressing a firm but gentle kiss to your cheek. It’s quick and when he pulls back, he’s red in the face, but there’s also a bright, radiating grin on his face and you feel your heart bloom at the sight of him so happy.
“Bye Y/N-nee-chan!”
Waving back at him, you watch him run in to the building past Iruka, pushing yourself up as you press a hand to your cheek.
What a sweet boy.
—
“I can’t believe she would take in such a child.”
“She must be as much of a monster herself.”
Rolling your eyes at the passing comments, you clutch the bag of groceries tighter. At this point, it was easy enough to ignore the gossip that travelled amongst the village. People could hardly keep their opinions to themselves, and outside of your fellow coworkers, quite a lot of the citizens seemed to be puzzled by your decision to take in Naruto.
As if he wasn’t just a child.
Nonetheless, you weren’t as childish yourself to retaliate. Truly they could say what they want about you, it hardly—
“How does she know he won’t murder her like he murdered the Fourth Hokage and his wife?”
Stilling in your step, your body freezes.
Head turning over your shoulder, you glance around, looking for the woman who’d spoken. She’s easy enough to find; tucked into an corner next to a fruit stand, whispering with her friend like two school girls.
Eyes sharpening, you turn towards her, marching right her way.
The two woman’s eyes widen when they see you’re approaching figure, shuffling back slightly in uncertainty as you bound towards them. You’re practically huffing in frustration, anger and disbelief coursing through your veins at their complete lack of respect and decency.
“I’d appreciate if you kept your mouths shut on matters that don’t concern you.”
The woman who’d spoken, scoffs; “excuse me?”
“You know what I’m talking about,” you hiss, leaning further towards her. “You can say all you want about me, but he’s just a boy. I won’t tolerate you spitting such ridiculous lies—“
“Y/N-nee-chan?”
Pausing at the sound Naruto’s soft voice, your eyes widen at the sight of him stood slightly behind you, glancing at you with furrowed brows and a frown.
“Naruto…”
You hear a gasp and you just barely manage to catch sight of the two woman gasping in fright at the sight of Naruto before quickly turning around, running the other direction.
Scoffing, you roll your eyes. Pathetic.
“Nee-chan?”
Turning back to Naruto, you smile down at him softly, extending your hand out towards him.
“Come on, Naruto. Let’s get you home. It’s almost dinner time.”
“Oh! Oh! Can we have ramen for dinner?”
Laughing lightly you shake your head, “we had ramen last night, Naruto. You need a better diet for a growing boy.”
—
“Would you like me to help with shuriken practice today?”
The continuous sound of Naruto’s slurping suddenly stops, and with a quirked brow, you turn your head over your shoulder, brows furrowing at the expression on his face.
Frowning, you shake your head.
“We don’t have to–”
“You’dreallyhelp me, nee-chan?”
Frowning, you set the plate you’d been drying down, making your way over to the table and taking a seat in front of Naruto.
“Of course,” you say with ease, nodding. “Why wouldn’t I?”
Naruto shrugs. “Everybody in my class is always talking about their fathers and brothers training them… There’s this one boy, Sasuke-teme. He thinks he’s so much better than me and he always beats me at everything! And I saw him with his brother today after school talking about how excited he was for shuriken training, and I don’t think it’s fair that he has someone to train him.”
Lips parting, your chest tightens as you feel guilt flood you.
You hadn’t realized Naruto wanted someone to train him that badly. Sometimes you’re so wrapped up in missions and trying to make sure Naruto has everything he needs that you sometimes forget how he must be feeling sometimes. Or about the basic, day-to-day bonding he’d be craving as a young boy. You’re not his mother, and you made sure Naruto knew that—the Hokage doesn’t want him to know who is parents are, a fact you’ve fought tooth and nail for with the no avail.
But you didn’t want Naruto thinking you were his mother—not when he had two parents who loved him deeply. And always would, even in death.
And even if you’re not his mother, you’re certainly (obviously) not his father—and you couldn’t give him that guidance that a young boy needs from one. You could hardly speak from experience, having no father yourself.
“I’m sorry, Naruto,” you sigh, shoulders slumping as you shake your head. “I didn’t realize how you must be feeling.”
Lips parting, Naruto moves to speak—but you don’t realize, and continue on before he can.
“I know I can’t be a strong father or a cool brother to you, and never can be, but I’d love to help you with your training. Whenever you need, okay?”
“Y/N-nee-chan.”
Blinking at Naruto’s oddly stern voice, you meet his gaze.
“I don’t care if I don’t have a father or brother,” he whispers, “I just want youto train me.”
Body easing, a warmth floods your chest at his words, a bright smile curling onto your lips.
“Finish your supper and then we’ll go out to train, okay?”
“Okay!”
—
“Good luck today, okay, Naruto?”
With a bright, shining grin, Naruto hardly falters just like he always does. Today was the day, the test that would confirm if he would be a ninja or not. He’s, unfortunately, failed two times previous today and the two have you have been relentlessly to help him sharpen his skills.
He was pretty good at most things… mostlygood. But he seemed to struggle at producing a shadow clone, one of the basics that a child needed to know in order to graduate from the ninja academy. You’ve been working hard to try and help him at least create one semi successful shadow clone, but have yet to be able to.
Nonetheless, despite you spending the entire night worrying—Naruto had woken up with a bright smile, never wavering and not an ounce of doubt in his mind.
If there’s one thing Naruto had, it was confidence
“Of course, nee-chan. I’m gonna pass the test today, for sure.”
Biting your lip, you swallow thickly. You smile lightly, meeting his eyes with a nervous laugh. “I’m sure you will. But… even if you don’t, I won’t be any less proud of you, okay?” Naruto’s face falters and he frowns down at you, not understanding your words.
“I just mean… there are lots of other things besides being a ninja, right? You don’t have—”
“Of course I have to!” Naruto sharply interrupts you, stunning you as you blink at him. His face has hardened and he looks suddenly ten times more determined than he had seconds prior. “I already told you. I’m going to be Hokage one day, nee-chan, and will make the world recognize me. Believe it!”
Shoulders easing, you smile slightly. “Yes, of course. I’m sorry, Naruto. I know you will.”
Grinning, Naruto sends you a thumbs up. “Today’s the day! I know it! I’ll be one step closer to being Hokage, and being able to protect you, nee-chan.”
Cheeks warming, your smile brightens at his innocent, warming words.
Reaching forward, you lightly ruffle his hair. “I know, Naruto. You’re gonna pass today, believe it!”
He shrugs your hands away, but grins at your words, his thumbs up never wavering as he shuffles back.
“When I see you later today, nee-chan, I’m gonna have a headband, believe it!”
“Please, Lord Third, you have to understand! I’m sure he didn’t mean it. He’s a good boy, a really good boy. I know he plays pranks a lot and can cause trouble for the village but Naruto means well. If I could just speak to him, I knowhe didn’t do this—!”
The Hokage raises his hand and you still have half the mind to understand what that means and what your position is as a ninja. Wisely shutting your mouth, you ignore the tightening of your chest and the way you desperately want to plead and beg until you’re positive Naruto is okay.
Instead, you keep your mouth shut, waiting patiently.
You know the Hokage is not a cruel man and you pray he’ll have sympathy for Naruto.
“You misunderstand me, Y/N.”
Brows furrowing, you glance up to meet his eyes.
“I have no intention of bringing any harm to Naruto. I merely want to find him and the scroll.”
Eyes widening, your lips part; “I—!”
“Surely you understand why I cannot send you after the boy, Y/N. ButI promise you, I’ve sent teams to find him already and I’ll bring him safe back to you.”
Shoulders easing, you bite back the argument about finding Naruto yourself. It’d be wise not to push the Hokage more—because at the end of the day, you know what Naruto has done is terribly wrong. Stealing The Scroll of Sealing… You can’t believe the boy would have the nerve to do so.
You honestly thought you raised him better than to do something so childish and stupid. An act like that would normally be considered an act of treason, and you have all the Gods to thank, and the Hokage stood before you that Naruto’s actions haven’t.
You don’t know what you’d do if they had.
Setting a hand on your shoulder, much like he had on that day twelve years ago, the Hokage squeezes it; as if already knowing the thoughts that swarm your mind relentlessly.
“Just wait here.”
And so you do. You do, and it feels like eternity has passed when really it’s only been an hour. You’ve dug welts into your palms from clenching your fists so hard, and you’re sure you’ve dug a whole in your own lip from biting it so hard. And you’re just about to disregard the Hokage ordering you to stay put and find Naruto yourself, when the door opens.
When you turn, eyes wide with hope and anticipation; the first person you see is Iruka. And for a second, just a split second, your heart plummets and you fear the worst, but then you see a peak of blonde hair and relief floods your entire body, easing the muscles that had been tensed since you’d heard about what Naruto had done.
With a gasp, you call out; “Iruka!”
He smiles at you, and distantly you notice the wounds marking his face. But you can barely think of asking him if he’s okay when he turns, letting Naruto slip past him and your eyes finally fall on the boy that’s sent you into a near panic attack with absolute worry and fear, your feet moving before you can stop them.
Naruto walks in slowly, head bowed, fearing how mad you’ll be. Especially when he wouldn’t expect anything else, knowing how severe of a mistake he’s made. However, he’s shocked when instead of hearing yelling or receiving lecture, he feels your arms wrapping around him tightly, pulling you flush against your chest as you press a hand to the back of his head.
He’s frozen still with surprise for a moment. But then, as Naruto listens, his lips frown and his guilt-ridden gaze turns to one of concern when he hears how shaky your breathing is. He also, in that moment, notices how despite how tightly you’re squeezing him, he can feel you shaking against him and hear your heart pounding erratically against his ear that’s pressed against your chest.
“I was so worried,” you breathe, voice a gentle whisper.
Iruka slips out of the room then, but neither of you notice.
“Don’tever do that to me again.”
Slowly easing in your grasp, Naruto shakes his head in your grip, pulling away enough to meet your gaze. “You’re not mad?”
“I was,” you admit, nodding at him with a deep frown. Naruto falters, guilt flooding his gaze once again, avoiding your gaze, but you just shake your head, letting your hands fall on his arms. “But I’m just happy you’re okay and safe and—“
Pausing, your eyes catch a glint of silver and your lips part.
“Is that—?”
“Oh,” blushing, Naruto chuckles faintly, bashful. “Iruka-sensei gave it to me. He told me I’d proved myself as a ninja.”
Eyes widening, it’s take you a second to process Naruto’s words before a full fledge smile curls onto your lips. You have no idea what had happened tonight, but you know Naruto and his infectious ability to help everything and everyone around him. You’re sure he’s barely aware of it himself, but him simply just being apart of your life has healed you in ways you’d never thought possible.
You figure that he’d done that tonight, and proved he was ready to be the ninja you’d always knew he’d be.
A squeal of excitement leaves your lips, stunning Naruto, before he finds himself wrapped tightly in your waiting embrace once more.
“Nee-chan!” He sputters, startled.
“I’m so proud of you, Naruto! So, soproud!”
And after a moment, seeing the genuine pride shining in your eyes and the bright, radiating smile on your face, Naruto returns your embrace, smaller arms moving to wrap around your waist as he presses his head into the crook of your neck.
He relishes in the moment, eyes falling shut.
“I’m gonna be Hokage one day, nee-chan, and I swear to you, I’ll protect you for the rest of my life, believe it!”
*nyctophilia:the love of the night or the darkness; finding relaxation or comfort in the darkness.
a/n:my first smut?!?!?! whattttttttt please be kind. this is my first time writing for smut and it’s probably not the best. this is just a sort of tester to decide if i do wanna start writing smut from now on or not…
word count: 2,875
warnings:smut, nsfw, oral (fem receiving), fingering, praise also, not spellchecked. im too lazy.
“Here.”
It’s the first time he sees you.
The first time his eyes fall on your figure up close, battered and bruised, blood dripping off of the edge of your chin and onto the ground beneath you. You look small then, fragile; injured and afraid as you stare back at his offered hand, unsure of whether you should take it or not.
Questions flitter in his mind, of varying degrees of seriousness and wonder – but he doesn’t ask any of them. His mouth wisely stays shut, should you run off at any little movement or sound, and instead he smiles, though all you can really see is the way his eyes pinch at the corners and the slight tilt of his head.
His hand remains outstretched towards you, and it’s a second later that you slip your own in his.
There’s a nasty wound on your thigh he realizes the second you crawl to your feet, and he catches you at the last second before you go tumbling into the ground once more. A grunt leaves his lips at the sudden weight, and he shifts, pulling you so you’re more secured in his arms. When he glances down at you, he frowns at the sight of your eyes shut, your chest rising and falling rhythmically.
You’ve fallen unconscious.
Kakashi hadn’t realized just how bad your wounds were, and with a light sigh, he bends, slipping his free arm under your knees so you’re positioned securely against his chest. Your head lolls back, and he’s quick to maneuver in a way that has it rested against his shoulder instead.
When he looks back down at you, you’ve lost all trace of fear and seem at peace.
The frown never wavers from his face, and then he’s off, balancing your weight in his arms as he maneuvers his way through the forest. He can’t run, not with you in his arms and his own exhaustion screaming at him; so Kakashi’s stuck walking, every single muscle–specifically in his legs–exhausted beyond belief but he’s determined to create enough of a distance.
And when your eyes finally flicker open once more, it’s the middle of the night, the only thing providing any sort of light is the fire Kakashi started a little while ago. Your eyes flicker, blinking a few times to adjust properly and fully awake; and when you sit up, you realize that the wound on your leg has been dressed, a bandage wrapped tightly around it. There’s also a few bandages and band aid’s across your battered body, specifically against the nasty wound on your forehead that had been bleeding the last time you were awake.
You set a hand to your forehead, somewhat dizzy as you inhale sharply.
“I’m glad to see you awake.”
You start at the voice. Your head snapping to the left in fear, only for your eyes to settle on Kakashi; he’s a bit away from you, a stick in his hands as he pokes at the fire but the second you’re awake, his eyes are on you that same, gentle smile curling the ends of his eyes.
“Did you… you cared for me?” Your words come out soft, barely audible, hesitant but your eyes never leave his own.
“Yes,” he nods, setting the stick down before leaning forward, elbows resting on his knees and head falling into his hands. “I had to stop the bleeding from your leg. It’s not perfect, but it’s the best I can do.”
Letting your eyes flicker to the fire, you sigh. “Thank you.”
The silence that follows is all too telling. You know exactly what Kakashi’s thinking without even having to look at him, because it’s exactly what you’re thinking.
It’s only a matter of time.
Tilting your head up, you glance at the night sky, peeking at the stars you can see through the branches and foliage’s of the trees that surround you. Everything seems so peaceful then, like there’s not a single worry in the world, and you find comfort in the way that feeling envelops you wholly–even if none of it’s true.
“The stars are quite pretty tonight.”
Kakashi frowns, but tilts his head back anyway. He has to agree, the stars do look quite beautiful.
And when he looks at you, head tilted, eyes sparkling, covered in bandages; he can’t help but think the same.
“Why’d you do it?”
Only a matter of time.
A small smile curls onto your lips as you turn to meet his eyes. “Because,” you shrug, voice light, not a shred or regret or doubt in the way you speak. “What else was I supposed to do?”
Kakashi’s eyes narrow and you see the first signs of distress flicker in his eyes. “But… the–Y/N, he was a high up root ANBU officer… There’s no way Danzo will ever let you go.”
“He killed my parents, Kakashi.”
“Still.”
“I don’t regret it,” you cut in, sending him a sharp look. “So, if you’re expecting me to apologize, it’ll never happen and you might as well leave.”
Kakashi huffs. “He’ll have you executed.”
“Then, so be it.”
“Y/N!”
Pushing yourself to your feet, your eyes narrow down at Kakashi, voice rising. “Would you have me carry on in that village as if my parents weren’t murdered unjustifiably? To carry on my duties? Kakashi, I couldn’t. You haveto understand that.”
Kakashi rushes to his feet, and you blink as he’s suddenly right before you, nothing more than a mere breaths away from you. You can see everything this up close, every scar, every wrinkle, and most importantly, can see the hurt in his eyes. The absolute heartbreak he’s experiencing that moment as he stares back at you.
“You could’ve done it for me.”
Shoulders falling, you swallow thickly. “I love you, Kakashi,” you whisper, “more than anything. But… they’re my parents.”
His shoulders fall and you can see the way that last little bit of hope that had existed dwindles down to nothing. Kakashi’s heart sinks right then and there, ripping in half, and there’s this guilt that festers deep inside of you. You’d never meant for any of this to happen, never meant to involve him at all–but it was a stupid and pointless wish.
Danzo was cruel, you’d known that. And of course he’d send Kakashi after you.
Kakashi turns and it’s instinct that you reach for him, hand wrapping around his arm, a small gasp leaving your lips.
“If these are to be my last moments,” you mumble, “I’d want to spend them with you.”
Kakashi pauses, tensing in your grip, before his head slowly turns, eyes falling on you once more. His eyes flicker to the grip you have on his arm, to your eyes, and it seems that’s all it takes–just one look at those eyes that he loves more than anything.
His lips are pressing against yours a moment later, an arm curling around your waist to pull you flush against his chest. You don’t hesitate to respond, your own hands move to his mask-clad cheeks, slipping past to tug at the ends of his hair, trying to tug him closer. His tongue pokes past your lips and you listen instantly, letting your lips part as slips his tongue in, your hot breaths mixing together as you pant against him.
When you pull back, he latches on your lip with his teeth, slowly pulling away.
Meeting his eyes, both of your chests rising and falling rapidly, you let your fingers slip past the edge of his mask.
“May I?”
And he nods without hesitation, letting you slip his mask off of his face, bunching around his neck as your fingers move to his lips. You don’t make any move, not at first, the tips of your fingers gently brushing against his slightly puffy, wet lips, letting your eyes flicker across his exposed face that you’ve never seen before.
“You’re so handsome,” you utter, voice breathless.
“And you’re beautiful.” Kakashi mumbles, not wasting another second before he’s moving to press his lips against yours once more. You let a small squeak of surprise out in response, shocked by his eagerness, before you ease into his touch once more, reciprocating the kiss.
Your fingers thread through his hair, knocking his head band off to where it falls to the ground with a light thud. Kakashi barely pays it mind, hardly giving the symbolism of it a thought as he presses a hand against the back of your head, moaning against your lips.
Your fingers move to his Jonin vest, fingers working desperately to unlatch it and tug it off. Kakashi’s lips move along the edge of your mouth, to your jaw, until you’re tilting your head back to give him access to your neck. He presses kisses along the vulnerable skin there, nipping at slightly with the intention of leaving a mark, as he lets you slip his vest off of his shoulders, you wasting no time to pulling off his shirt underneath.
Once Kakashi’s left in nothing more than his pants, he pulls back, eyes heavy and lidded as gently guides you down. He would’ve wanted your first time together to be somewhere more romantic; he’d always thought of when and where, wanting it to be special. He never would’ve guessed it’d be in the middle of the forest, somewhere outside of Konoha, hiding from his own coworkers who were searching for you.
You fall back against the forest floor without hesitation, staring up at Kakashi apprehensively.
“Is this okay?” He asks, frowning at the look in your eyes. “We don’t–”
“It’s okay,” you assure, cutting him off with a shake of your head. “I’m just… I don’t want to rush it. This–This’ll be the last–”
“Shh, shh,” he hushes gently, shaking his head. “Don’t think about that, okay?”
You nod, a frown marring your lips.
Moving his fingers to the hem of your shirt, Kakashi meets your eyes; “can I?”
Nodding, you inhale sharply as his cold fingers touch your bare stomach, slowly sliding your shirt up and over your head. The cold night air nips at your skin, and your hands move to wrap around yourself but Kakashi grabs your wrists before you can, pressing them above your hand and into the dirt.
“I’ll keep you warm,” he whispers, voice husky. “Besides, I want to see you.”
“‘Kashi…”
His hands lower, sliding across your stomach as you shiver slightly at the touch. You’ve never been touch so intimately before, and you know Kakashi is aware; which is why you trust him without a doubt to be gentle and take care of you. Still, the odd sense of vulnerability that you’ve never felt or experienced with anyone is scary.
His hands are moving to slight your pants off, leaving you in only your wrappings and underwear.
You’re completely vulnerable to him.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispers, leaning down to press a kiss on your left hip. You moan at the touch of his lips on your cold, exposed skin, a shiver running up your spine as you arch into his awaiting hands. He presses kisses along your stomach, biting and nipping that elicits soft gasps from your lips in response until his fingers are slipping under the top of your underwear, slipping underneath.
“I’m gonna make you feel good, okay, Y/N?”
You nod, voice stuck in the back of your throat.
“Come on, Y/N,” Kakashi coaxes, leaning up to meet your eyes. “I need to hear you say it.”
“Okay, Kakashi.”
Smiling softly, Kakashi nods, pulling your underwear down your legs and tossing it back behind him without a care in the world. Your legs instinctively move to press together, but he’s quick to halt your movements, hands grabbing you by your calves and pulling them apart. You whimper as the air hits your exposed pussy, back arching off the dirt, sweat having it stick to your skin as you feel a warm set of lips press a gentle, barely there kiss to your lips.
“Kashi!”
“Shh, it’s alright.”
His fingers move to your lips, spreading them and your legs twitch in response, hissing slightly until you feel his lips against your cunt. A gasp breaks past your lips, twitching slightly in his grasp, until you feel his tongue press against your clit, swirling around. He repeats the movement, one arm moving to press your leg into the ground, stopping from clenching together.
Your hands move to the top of his head, gripping his hair tightly as you pull, eyes clenching shut in pure bliss, a whimper leave your lips as he moves to suck at your clit, harsh and firm.
“Oh my god, Kakashi!”
He hums against your clit, the vibrations of it stirring something deep inside you, feeling it wind up as you yank at his hair.
When he slips a finger into your hole, the sensation of it is new, foreign despite how tight it feels, it feels amazing. Your panting, chest rising and falling as you feel the coil inside of you near close to snapping. He pumps the finger in, out, in, out, all whilst sucking hard on your clit, and your legs are squirming around him, desperate to break free at the sudden incline of pleasure.
But Kakashi’s grip is tight and he doesn’t relent, slipping another finger in once he feels you’ve loosen enough.
It takes only a few more seconds before you’re snapping, a cry leaving your lips as you feel your orgasm ripple through you. Warmth envelops you whole, sweat beading across your skin as you tremor in his arms, his name leaving your lips in a shrill cry.
“Kakashi!”
Once you come down from your high, body slowly sinking back into the ground, chest rising and falling, Kakashi pulls away, grinning down at you.
“How’d that feel, baby?”
Meeting his eyes, you smile, somewhat dazed; “amazing…”
“That was the prep, Y/N, we’re not done yet.”
Swallowing thickly, you watch as his hands move to his own pants, quickly unbuckling them before sliding them down his legs. He doesn’t take them completely off, letting them bunch around his thighs before he crawls towards you, wrapping your legs around his waist and lining himself at your entrance.
“It might hurt a little,” he advises, meeting your gaze. “But I promise it’ll feel good.”
“Okay, Kakashi.”
“You’re sure you’re okay with this?”
You don’t hesitate to nod; “I want to feel you.”
And with that, Kakashi slowly pushes himself in. Your body tenses instantly, and Kakashi makes sure to go in slow, keeping an eye on you to make sure he’s not hurting you too bad. You lean forward, hands moving to grip his shoulders where you dig your nails into his bare skin. But Kakashi doesn’t stop you, letting you use him as he continues to sheathe himself further and further.
“Kashi! It hurts!”
“I know, love, but it’s okay. We’re nearly there,” he grunts out, face twisting as he struggles to keep a slow and steady pace for you.
The pain is starting to ease however, and he can see it in the way your face eases, body untensing in his grip. He reaches the end of your cervix, a grunt leaving his lips as a soft whimper flutters from your own.
“Y/N?”
Blinking, you meet his eyes; “it’s starting to feel better. You can go faster.”
Leaning forward, he’s quick to slip his arms under your waist, moving you so you’re sat up against him, on his lip, and he can hold onto you easier. You moan slightly at the movement but settle against him easily, arms wrapping around his shoulders and tucking your head into the crook of his neck where you press soft kisses.
Grabbing you by the hips, he slowly eases you up.
“Help me out, love, we’ll go at your pace.”
You nod against his neck and Kakashi feels you slowly push yourself up, his hands on your hips helping you. You start slow, unsure and apprehensively, before you slowly start to quicken your pace. Kakashi’s teeth click together as the pleasure starts to build, soft grunts leaving his lips, while you moan against his neck, breath hot.
“Kakashi, I’m close!”
“Me too,” he grunts, grip tightening on your waist slightly. “Me too, Y/N.”
Your pace quickens, chasing your high as you pant against his neck, nails digging into his back, biting your lip.
Another scream tears past your lips as you feel yourself reach another orgasm, that familiar warmth rippling through your body as you press your lips into Kakashi’s neck, panting. Your bodies press against each other, sweating, as you slowly come down from your high only to feel Kakashi tense beneath your touch a second later, a loud grunt pushing past his lips before you feel something warm flood you.
“Y/N…”
Leaning back, you brush your fingers against Kakashi’s cheeks, slowly pulling his focus back on you as he pants, breathless.
“I love you,” you whisper, feeling your eyes water as the realization sinks.
Pressing a hand to your cheek, Kakashi swallows thickly. “I love you too,” he nods, thumb brushing away a stray tear that slips before you can stop yourself. “More than anything.”
