#needing comfort

Synopsis : Even big scary tough vigilantes, sometimes need a hug. Comfort. And you ? Well, you’re always here to help with this. Wether it be for your husband, or your kids. 

Another bonus thingy before posting tomorrow (or Sunday), the “fake boyfriend trope” with Bruce :). Just a little thing, about the kids, but also Bruce, needing and seeking comfort. The pandemic got us all hug-less, so I wrote a story about giving hugs and all haha. Hope you’ll like it : 

My masterlists blog : @ella-ravenwood-archives

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Bruce. 

You had to admit, when you first started dating him, you were a little selfish. 

He was the one giving you comforting hugs. Reassuring you. He was the big spoon, and the one to always initiate it. 

The one to put his arm around your shoulders when you felt a little scared or uncomfortable. Or his hand on the small of your back when you were anxious during a gala, his mere touch soothing you. 

The one pulling you on top of him to fall into a soft slumber. The one you used as a pillow when you fell asleep in the car, or on the couch. The one to give you a massive bear hug, holding you tightly against his heart, if you felt even remotely sad…

And for a while. For the first months of your relationship, in fact. It just…Didn’t occur to you that he would need those kind of hugs too. 

Yes. When he hugged you, you hugged him back. But it wasn’t the same, was it ? Most of the time, he was holding you, and you’d just respond. There was a difference. Anyone receiving a hug from someone could tell. Giving hugs, although very nice, never felt quite as comforting as receiving one. 

Feeling warm and safe in your loved one’s embrace. 

You felt quite ashamed, when you realized that you never really gave him a hug, never initiated things because…Well, Bruce always seemed sure of himself, so strong and poised, right ? 

Both as Bruce Wayne and Batman, it always felt like he was in total control and knew what he was doing. And sure, he often was, but…Even the strongest people on Earth, sometimes needed comfort. 

Later on, you’d feel mad at yourself for thinking he could handle himself. To your defense, he wanted you to think that. Both because he wanted to protect you, and because one of his biggest flaw was his pride and he didn’t want to…Ask for a hug. Plus, your relationship was very new, you couldn’t know all his secrets and weaknesses right away. 

But then.

Then one day, he came back from a tough night, and it was visible on his face that he had seen some pretty messed up things. 

And that’s when it happened.

It was pure instinct. Probably very much like it was for him, when he hugged you. As he was coming to bed, ready to take you in his arms…You made the first move. 

You delicately took his head in one hand, and his arm in the other, and pulled him to you. Laying his head against your breast, and sneaking your arms around him. Holding him tight. 

You ran your fingers through his hair and…A sigh. 

A warm sigh of relief, right against your skin. He relaxed in your arms. He snuggled closer, quite like a little kitten (although “little” was hardly a word used to describe Bruce Wayne). And in an instant, he fell asleep. 

That was a revelation to you. One that made you feel guilty at first, because you never really thought the big scary Batman needed hugs sometimes. But one that would slowly shape and describe your love for him. And his for you. 

You two, you were always there for each others. 

Always there to comfort one another. To hold each other. Whoever needed to be held. 

It took you a few months, but once you made that discovery, you made sure to never forget it. You still sought comfort close to him of course. Everyone needed a hug, sometimes. 

Everyone. Even the Batman himself. 

When he wasn’t feeling well, for any reasons, you would hold him. His head against your breast, your fingers running through his hair slowly scratching his scalp, drawing soothing circle on his back with your other hand. 

Wether you were laying down, or standing up, it was always the same (A/N : not putting specific heights, but let’s imagine if you’re short and couldn’t possibly hug that man while he’s actually standing up, he sits down or just really hunch against you haha). 

Often, you’d just guess when he needed it. And would never even think twice before taking him into your arms. 

But sometimes. 

Sometimes, he demanded them. Asked sweetly. In a way that would completely ruin his reputation if anyone else but you knew, or even noticed. 

It even happened in public, sometimes. But no one ever seemed to realize what he was doing. Only you, knew. And you’d give him what he wanted. 

It was always the same. 

He would never just downright ask for one. No. Instead, he’d look at you with those puppy eyes you loved so much. And he’d slowly tug on your sleeve. 

Quite like a child, yes. A 6′2″ child. Who worked out. Like, a lot. 

A little pull on your sleeve. A light in his eyes. 

The Batman himself, demanding to be hugged and comforted. 

Ah, if anyone knew…

But no one did. Not even his kids, or Alfred. Sure, they saw you hugging him. But they never noticed. They never noticed, he was the one asking for it…

Dick. 

Out of all your children, Dick was the one that would give out hugs the easiest.

To be honest, your son had this reputation that followed him all around, to be quite a witty, flirty, happy go lucky guy, who didn’t shy away from showing his affection for the people he loved and…although it was true, it always made you smile when you heard someone say that he always looked happy and ready to hug the life out of people. 

It always made you smile a little, to hear people say that. Because in your personal experience, he could enter quite scary rages, and he was too proud, and he hated being scolded, hated being wrong…

But that was another story. And to be honest, although, just like everyone, your son had flaws and wasn’t always the nice guy people thought he was (you’d always forgive him anyway, everyone had days where they weren’t particularly nice…you could’ve gone without the sibling rivalry he used to have with  Jason though, god those boys worried you…)

But it hasn’t always been the case. Oh no. 

Dick had terrible nightmares. That kept him awake at night. And sometimes…He’d scream. At the top of his lungs. 

Over and over again he saw his parents fall to their death. 

And he would scream. Cry. And call for you or Bruce. 

A needed hug. A warm one. Full of love and support. You’d end up falling asleep with him, sandwiching him between the two of you, making him feel safe, and helping him chasing the nightmares away. 

But this was it. Those were the only moments, at the time, he sought comfort. During the day, or any other time in which he had control…He wouldn’t. Even if he really wanted to. 

Only when it total distress, unable to control his emotions after a terrible nightmare, would he yell for you or Bruce to come get him. Only in those moments. Otherwise, although he was cheery and such, he would still stay a little distant physically. 

A kiss goodnight on the forehead. A hug when he woke up, scared out of his mind. That was it. 

And you didn’t want to force him. He went through so much already. 

But then one day…One day, he came into your writing office, tears in his eyes, and it made your heart race. What happened ? What happened ?!

“Can I-Can I have a hug, please ?” 

He asked shyly, staying at the door frame. And you jumped on your feet, going to him, telling him “of course baby boy, of course”, and he lunged in your arms, sobbing. 

What happened ?! WHAT HAPPENED ? 

“I just- I Just-” 

He couldn’t tell you. It must’ve been terrible. Was he missing his parents again ? You’d understand. You were-

“I just watched “The Fox and The Hound” and it’s just so saaaaaad !!” 

He managed to let out, holding onto you with his little arms. And it absolutely melted your heart. 

Finally. Finally he was opening up. Not just in great moment of distress. But also in regular every day life. Finally. Finally, you knew he considered you his mom too. You knew. Just because, after watching a sad movie, he came to you for comfort. 

Oh. Oh and you’d give it to him. You patted his back in soothing circles, telling him “it’s ok buddy, it’s ok. I know it’s sad, it really is.”, and giving him exactly what he needed. 

Just a little eight years old seeking comfort from his mama. 

Everyone always assumed Dick was the one who had the easiest time hugging you, or everyone. And they were sort of right. He found giving out hugs easy, and quite liked it. 

Yes. It’s true. Although he had quite a temper. 

But…receiving hugs ? It wasn’t as easy. It wasn’t as easy for him, to truly open up, and asks to receive comfort. 

He found it easy to be there for others. To be there when they needed his support, to hug them if need be. But he found it so hard to ask for help. To ask for the same kind of support. 

In fact, even to this day, he’d only ever come to you for this. For you to hold him. Wether it be because he was truly sad and devastated about something, or because he saw a puppy hugging a baby. 

Dick, since that “Fox and Hound” incident, would only ever come to you to receive hugs. And honestly ? You were quite happy to have this little special bond with your son. 

Dick Grayson would hug a lot of people to make them feel better, but he only ever asked for his mama, when he needed to feel better. 

Jason. 

Touched starved could describe Jason. 

When Bruce brought him home, the boy had been living in the streets for quite a while already. And before that ? 

An abusive father who quickly disappeared from the picture, and a mother addicted to drugs who was never able to get out of it, not even for her son. 

Jason could probably count on his fingers, the number of time he got a hug. 

There was that one time, when he was really little, his grandma visited from California and gave him a big hug ! She had to leave though, go back to her home in SoCal. She died the year after and he never saw her again. She was the only family he had, except for his parents…And she gave hugs that he remember to be nice, although he was so small he couldn’t really be sure anymore. 

There also was that time his classmate, Ariana, hugged him and said she had a crush on him ! Only for her mom to yell at her and say, right in front of Jason, to not associate herself with such a delinquent. Jason didn’t even understand. He was four, and he tried to be nice. He always behaved in school. Why did that woman hate him ? It made him feel sad. And then angry. So angry. He couldn’t possibly know that Ariana’s mom knew his mom, knew where they came from…

And then, there was that time his dad split, and his mom clung to him all night, crying. The only time she truly hugged him. But it was because SHE needed comfort, not him. And so he hugged back, little six years old trying to console his mother in this trying times. 

Oh ! And there was all the hugs he gave his dog. And if his dog had arms, he would probably have hugged him back. 

But that was it. Jason’s experiences with hugs were pretty much non-existent. And somehow, it registered in his head as him not liking physical contact. 

But it wasn’t true. 

Jason was a naturally sweet boy. You instantly noticed it. 

He had a soft smile, eyes that reflected wiseness beyond his years (and so much sadness and pain…) and a will to help and make himself useful. 

People always thought he was the rowdiest of your children, and though nowadays he might be, it hadn’t always been the case. On the contrary. 

He was such a sweet boy. 

And you knew, your motherly instincts were telling you…He didn’t hate hugs. He just never really had ones, and convinced himself he didn’t need them.  

The first time you gave him a hug, his entire body went rigid, stiff, and he reminded you of a cat in many ways. You know, when they’d stand on their tip toes, hair all up, and hissing ? Quite the same thing. 

You immediately let go, not wanting to make him feel uncomfortable ! And you apologized. But then, then he told you it was fine, and there was something in his eyes…Something in his eyes…

You hugged him a second times, later on. After he had a particularly good grade at school, and go praised from his teachers. And he was a little less rigid. 

Sometimes, you’d hug him. For whatever reasons. Did a mother really need a good reason to hug her son ? No. So you did. Always making sure it was ok, though. And over time…He hugged you back. 

Jason discovered that he didn’t hate others touching him. On the contrary, he was heavily touched starved. 

It wasn’t a sudden change. 

It took a few years, actually, for him to slowly open up. For him to heal from a painful past. For him to willingly come to you, and ask for a hug when he felt down. But he did. 

Once his barrier were down…Oh you always knew. 

You always knew Jason was a sweet boy. 

And him ? He had years of hugs to catch up. He often sought comfort in your warm hugs. Often. 

When he died, you thought you’d have to start all over. You thought you’d have to teach him all over again that he was loved. Oh, he was so so SO loved. 

But no. No. The first time you saw him, after you learned of his resurrection and begged Bruce to take you to him…

The first time you saw him, after years of mourning him (and never quite recovering), he- 

He looked at you. Helmet off. Straight in the eyes. 

He was so mad. He was so mad at his father. He was pure anger. 

But he looked at you. And all you could see…It was that little banged up orphan that decided to steal the Batmobile’s tyres once. Whom Bruce brought home. Who became your son. 

He looked at you, and all you could see what the eyes of that sweet, sweet boy you loved so much. 

And when you looked at him, kept your eyes on him, not quite believing he was still alive, and he saw you. He saw you… 

Bringing you to him was something that Bruce never regretted. 

Because that night, as you looked at each others, having rushes of memories on rushes of memories all coming back to you. 

That night…You went to him. And you embraced him. 

At first, he was all rigid. Like a cat who was on edge, back and hair sticking up, and almost hissing, you know ? 

But then. Then a tear fell down his eye. And another one. And your arms were warm and loving. 

Bruce never regretted taking you to him, even as it was dangerous because Jason wasn’t himself anymore. 

Because that night….That night was the first step in taking back your precious son, bringing him back from that dark pit he fell in. 

Because that night, for the first time in years, he sought comfort in his mom’s arms. And he felt the warmth back. 

Cassandra. 

Cassandra dropped you on the floor, the first time you tried to hug her. 

She had spoken for the first time, and you wanted to celebrate. It was a gut reaction, you hugged her. Her own gut reaction, pure instinct, was to throw you off of her and push her knee to your throat, immobilizing you. 

Thanks god Bruce wasn’t around. He would’ve freaked out. And not know what to do. On one side, his wife got attacked, which would usually made him see red and lose control. On the other side, the attacker was his daughter (whom he JUST adopted). 

Thanks god Jason and Dick weren’t either, they probably wouldn’t know how to react as well, and it’d just be so awkward. And you DID NOT want any sibling rivalry or suspicion anymore. Not when those two finally stopped bickering all the time. 

Anyway, once she realized what she did, she immediately let go, stood up, help you up too, and looked so stricken and distressed that before she even said “sorry” you reassured her : 

“No no no, it’s my fault, I’m the one who should’ve asked before hugging you. It’s ok. It’s ok little one; I’m sorry I scared you. Look. It’s ok. It’s ok.” 

Bruce hugged her before, right before adopting her. And a few times after that. She sought Bruce’s hugs, because her biological father never gave her any. Or any physical contact. And you knew how Bruce could feel safe and warm. 

But you ? She wasn’t used to yet, of course. Not to your hugs. To your softness and love, yes. But. Hugs. No. 

Slowly, carefully, you gestured to take her into your arms again. She let you, even taking a step towards you. Really wanting to understand why she felt the need to have a hug from you, now. 

And you held her. Telling her you were proud she was starting to speak more. Telling her it was ok, it would be ok. Telling her…Everything she never heard, everything she never knew she needed to hear. 

And there it was. When she understood that, when sad, you’d always be there for her. 

After that, whenever she felt sad or a little down. Sick or stressed. She came to you for a “mama’s hug”. She never really asked, and it was always quite surprising. 

She’d just come to you, and sneak herself around you. “Snake” herself, would maybe be more appropriate. 

Meaning : if you were laying on the couch, reading, she’d crawl in between your book and you, trying not to disturb you, and just laying there waiting for her hug. If you were talking to someone, standing there, cooking..She’d come and snake her arms around you, and wouldn’t let go up until you hugged back. 

She wouldn’t ask, like her brothers. Or stare at you with puppy eyes, like her father. She’d ask in another way. A way she knew better than words. And a way you taught her to be ok, too. 

Taking what she wanted. 

It was ok. 

She lived so long following horrible orders and not thinking for herself, at first, she just wouldn’t dare to do anything. 

You often found her, standing in a room, not moving. And when you asked what she was doing, she’d answer she was waiting for you guys to tell her what to do. 

It was a real learning process, that you and Bruce spend a lot of time on, to make her understand it was ok to live her own life. And maybe, just maybe, she learned on one of your girls night out that it was ok, too, to take what she wanted without asking. 

And hugs from you, were one of those things. 

She’d come to you, no matter what the situation (at galas, in the watchtower, during dinner etc etc), and “snake” herself around you, demanding a comforting hug from the one she came to call “mom”. 

And without missing a bit, you’d hug her. If you were talking to someone, you wouldn’t stop. Just hug back, and brush her hair softly (it really was something all your children, and your husband, loved and found soothing). 

It was natural. No matter the time, or the place. 

A daughter wanting support and love from her mother. 

And a mother giving it without a second thought. 

Tim.

Tim had hugs before being adopted by you and Bruce, but none of them ever felt warm. 

His parents cared little about him. They weren’t absolutely terrible people, they just…never really paid attention to him. 

They were high society, you see. They had a son only for appearances. Tim was mostly raised by a nanny. He saw his parents rarely, and they never seemed to really want to be with him much. 

They were almost the exact opposite of what Thomas and Martha Wayne. Same high society, awfully rich (although the Waynes were definitely richer), same world of appearances and fakes…But the Waynes loved their son. To death. 

The Drakes ? Well. Their son existed, and that was that. They were both rather selfish beings. They only started to care when they realized Bruce was taking care of him a lot….But that was another story. 

All of that to say that, Tim had an automated response, to hugs. 

When you gave him hugs, you noticed. He would pat your back a few times, and pull away. It would be almost formal…And. It was. 

He was taught to be polite, and proper. A short hug, a few pat on the back, for appearances. “Yes I love my mother and father.”, and yes they love him too…

No warmth. 

Just a few forced embraces. That they had to get on with. 

Naturally, without even noticing you were doing it, you took it upon yourself to show him what a real hug was.  

When he tried to pull away, you wouldn’t let go. You’d hold him tighter, and tell him you loved him. And at first, he was a little lost. 

What happened if someone didn’t let go, after he patted them three times on the back ? 

What happened ? 

Warmth. Love. Feeling comforted and safe. 

That’s what happened. 

Slowly but surely, you showed him what it was, to truly be hugged. And cared for. And it…changed something in him. It really did. 

Tim was arguably the more “cerebral” out of all your children. The most pragmatic one for sure. It’s because of the way he was raised. Always keeping up appearances, and acting like everything was fine. 

It was just a mean to achieve your goal. Or so his parents told him. 

What he found, after slowly warming up to your hugs and even seeking them, was that…There was more to life than just “work”. Than just pouring his very soul into school, or into “Robin”. 

Sure, it was important to him, and he’d probably always be a bit of a workaholic. He liked it, ya know. Not in the same way his parents chased after social status and such. No. No Tim ? He just wanted to help. 

He really REALLY wanted to help. And make the world a better place. He was a little Batman fan, who took it upon himself to give a hand. 

And he was slowly learning, that it was ok to have “mundane goals”. To not always be ambitious, like he was taught. To have some downtime. And to…show his feelings. 

If he was sad, or didn’t feel well, he was allowed to show it, with you and Bruce. When with his parents, he’d have to pretend. Always. Pretend. 

Not with you. 

He didn’t have to pretend anymore. 

He didn’t have to give out fake hugs devoid of any warmth. 

He could enjoy it. The physical contact. He could revel in it. He could appreciate it. He could… 

He could ask for it. 

Although he never quite asked. Not like Dick. No. He would…give you that smile…That smile…

It could sound weird to anyone not knowing his past, or not knowing your family. What, asking for a hug ? Odd. But it wasn’t. No. It wasn’t. 

It just meant Tim finally understood he was allowed to be an actual human. And not a robot that needed to please everyone, regardless of his own feelings. 

In many ways, he reminded you of when you first met Bruce. Both of them had very similar ways of hiding it all behind a smile (a smile you could ALWAYS tell was fake). 

That smile.  

That fake smile. “Everything is alright, mom.” That smile you could always tell was fake. Meaning…Meaning he needed comfort. 

Meaning he was seeking it. “Everything…is not alright. Could you-”. 

Yes. 

You could. 

Of course you could. 

You would always give your beloved son a hug, when he needed one. Especially when he was asking in such a sweet way. 

To an outsider, it would just seem like he was fine. Like he wasn’t asking. But to you…Oh to you. 

You knew your son. You were, with Bruce, the first person to truly know him. To show interest in him. To want to know him. 

You knew your son. 

And that fake smile ? It meant he WASN’T alright. And that he’d soon return your hug with all his might, and hold you back for a little while before he’d finally confide in you…

You knew your son. And you loved him so, so much. To death, really. And now..

Now, he knew you knew him, too. 

Damian.

He always saw Dick giving you hugs, to say “hello”. And “goodbye”. And…Dick gave you a lot of hugs. For no apparent reasons, Damian often thought. 

Was baking his favorite cookies really worthy of a hug ? 

Damian couldn’t be sure. 

Sometimes though, he noticed that it wasn’t his older brother giving you a hug, it was you giving him one. And that…That Damian truly couldn’t understand. He even saw his dad, once, clearly asking to be held by you. 

That someone as soft as you accepted to be hugged, it made sense in Damian’s head. You were nice, and kind, and sounded like someone who would love hugs (you did, but at that time, Damian still had the little misconception that you could never be scary or dangerous…terrible misconception, as he’d learn one day, seeing you genuinely mad at someone). 

He knew you were strong. But yes. You struck him as someone who’d love to be hugged. But his father ? Big scary bat ? And Grayson ? Proud cocky Grayson ? Why did they even like it, and would ask you for it ? 

Damian simply couldn’t understand. He couldn’t. 

Up until…That fateful day.

He was afraid of thunderstorms. In  his mind, it was reminiscent of those cold lonely nights his mother would send him to places for missions. Reminiscent of being all alone and freezing, in a dark scary forest full of danger. Reminiscent of having nobody, and the only source of light would be the piercing lightnings through the sky…

Damian never liked thunderstorms. Even when he wasn’t out on missions. Even when he was “safe” in his bedroom. It just always freaked him out. The roll of thunder, the terrible sound it made. And then the piercing light. Who would illuminate everything for but a few seconds. 

He always thought he saw things, during those few seconds. Silhouettes haunting him. Ready to jump on him. 

And sometimes, he was right. It was a habit his mother had, to hire assassins to “keep his reflexes sharp”. 

A flash of light. 

A movement in the corner of his room… 

Damian stood up, jumping out of his bed and ran to turn the light on…But alas he was home. At Wayne Manor. Actually safe. 

Yet the rumbling outside, and the lightnings still scared him. 

A phobia deeply ingrained within him. 

Tonight, because he had hurt his arm recently, he had the night off. Meaning everyone was out. Everyone…but you. 

You told him you would sleep in your room tonight, since he also was there. He scoffed at you, saying he could very well be alone. As if he needed anyone, he wasn’t a scaredy cat. “Maybe they -he pointed at his siblings- needed you to hold their hands as they slept, but I don’t.” 

He wasn’t even sure why he said all of that. He kind of regretted it…Especially now, as the thunderstorm seemed to be right above Wayne Manor ! 

You told him it didn’t matter. That you hated when one of them slept all alone in the Manor, while everyone was out in Gotham or down in the cave. So you’d sleep upstairs too. 

Meaning you were there. 

You. Were. There. 

Another loud “BANG”, followed right away by lightning. It was right above him ! Damian didn’t think twice, he opened his door in a hurry and started to run down the hall towards yours and Bruce’s bedroom. 

His father, of course, was out as Batman. But you, you would be there. 

He came rushing in your room, scaring you as he took you out of your slumber but…Well, you were kind of used to being woken up in a panic. You were Batman’s wife, after all.

Very quickly, you regained your senses (something that could save your life, in moment of real dangers), and there you saw him. During a flash of lightning. Shivering in the doorway, looking downright terrified. 

“Damian ?” 

He quickly filled the gap between you and went to stand next to you, one hand holding his other one, trembling. 

“Are you ok, buddy ?” 

He didn’t respond right away, but another rumble and flash of lightning made you immediately understand what scared him. Your guts that were dangerously tightening in fear at what might’ve happened to your son slowly uncoiled, and you smiled at him. 

He was holding your comforter now, and it seemed he didn’t even notice he did. Slowly, he said : 

“I don’t normally-It’s just…The thunderstorm.” 

You just smiled. Didn’t even comment. And pulled back your comforter, opening your arms. 

Damian hesitated a few seconds, before slowly walking to you, climbing in bed and…letting you hold him.

And he found that…He understood why Dick always asked you for hugs. Why his father, did too. Why sometimes he’d stand next to you, give you puppy eyes trying to make you understand he wanted to be held. 

Damian understood, even as if now Dick was a grown man, why he did it. And why his father seemed to crave them. 

It felt so nice. It felt safe. Warm. Loving.

He never felt all those emotions before. All at the same time, it was overwhelming. 

He curled up against you, quite like his father did (except Damian was a tiny bean). His hand were holding you with force, and his eyes were shut tight.  

He felt so many things. It was so confusing. Yet…Soothing. 

And when you started to hum a little lullaby. When you started to brush your hand through his hair, and pat little soothing circle on his back. 

It was as if the rumble of the thunder, and the lightnings, disappeared in the background. Damian knew the storm was still right above them. But he wasn’t afraid anymore. He didn’t even pay attention to any of it. 

He felt himself…drift…to…sleep…

You smiled. Holding him dearly against you. This was the first time. The first time Damian actually asked to be held. Well, he didn’t asked with words really, but his entire demeanor was screaming for it. The first time…

You felt incredibly happy. And later on, Damian would find that all those new feelings he discovered that night, made him feel incredibly happy too. 

And whenever he felt down. Sad. Scared. He knew. 

He knew his mom would be there, and gladly accept to hold him until she chased all his worries away. 

He knew. 

He knew that, finally…He was loved. 

Duke.

Duke didn’t have it easy, that’s for sure. 

Well. None of you did. But him…His parents were still alive, but would never be the same. He was thrown into a new family and…He discovered he was a meta-human. 

Everything about his life was novel. 

From having siblings, to being THAT powerful (and not even knowing or understanding quite yet how his powers worked). 

It was a lot to take in, for a teen. 

Sometimes, he felt like he wasn’t quite part of the family. 

His parents held him back. The mere hope they might get better one day, made it hard for him to truly feel like he was part of it all. 

It was understandable. His situation was quite different than those of your other kids. Of course, for you, it didn’t make any difference. You’d love him all the same. And you knew he cared a lot about you, about Bruce, and about his “siblings”. 

But it couldn’t be help. He was really in a difficult situation. 

And to be fair, he has been with you for barely a few months, by then. 

So many changes. Duke never liked, changes. As a child, he loved doing crossword puzzles because once you solved one, things ended up being very logical with the rest, and all definition sort of worked in the same way. 

It was a nice anxiety reducer, to do something he knew didn’t change much. Guessing words was easier and easier, the more he filled crosswords. It was the same mechanic, and often the same kind of words. 

So when his entire life was flipped upside down…

Bruce thought that Duke had trouble acclimating to Wayne Manor because he blamed him for what happened to his parents.  But it wasn’t true. Duke never NEVER blamed Bruce. He knew the real culprit was The Joker. 

And that Bruce was NOT responsible for his actions (Jason would maybe pipe in that if he had killed him…Oh but that was another story, and Duke wasn’t Jason). 

You spend a lot of sleepless night, holding your husband and trying to comfort him after his guilt and will to make Duke comfortable in his new home kept him awake…Even as it was a “night off”, where he wouldn’t put the Batman mantel on. 

Yes. 

Duke, at first, really struggled with his own identity. And felt he didn’t belong, at times…Over the years, he would come around. Come to think of you as his real family. Introduce you other children as his siblings. But for now…For now he wasn’t quite there yet. 

His parents held him back. They were still there. There was still a chance…And what if they got cured, and they went to see him only to realize he forgot them and called someone else “mom” and “dad” ? 

It was so many changes. And everything was so painful and confusing. 

But then. Then there was you. 

Bruce, in his guilt ridden state and will to do good by Duke, sometimes was too overbearing. Duke didn’t want to hurt his feelings by telling him how he truly felt, telling him his “belong” problem. 

And with your other children ? They all had difficult childhood too. All lost their loved ones. All had a painful background. Compare to some of them, Duke felt like he shouldn’t even feel like that. He hadn’t been killed, like Jason. Or used as a weapon, like Cass or Damian. 

But then. There was you. 

Your smile made him feel safe. And he knew you would understand. He knew. You were just that kind of person, making people want to open up to you. 

Sometimes, it was annoying. God knew how many times some rich idiots blabbered to you all night long at a gala about their stupid meaningless problems. 

But sometimes…Sometimes, it allowed you to make people like Bruce feeling safe enough that they could confide in you. This is why your relationship with him was so strong. You told each others everything, when things weren’t right. And one was always there to pick the other one up. 

Yes. There was you. 

And Duke spilled the bean to you. He told you everything. He ranted for hours, about feeling bad that he felt sad while some people had it worst than him. That he felt lost and confused, with those new powers. That it was difficult, to adapt to this new environment. 

He told you everything. 

And at the end, you didn’t say anything. You knew no words would make him feel better. Because he heard them all. He heard them from you, Bruce, Alfred, Dick, Jason, Cass, Damian…From Commissioner Gordon. 

He heard everything someone could say to try and cheer him up. And it wasn’t what he needed. 

For now, you weren’t sure what he needed. So you did what your instincts told you to do…and you hugged him. As simple as that. 

During that time, when in your arms, as he sobbed against your shoulder and you listened to him, truly listened to him…He had an epiphany. 

He’d understand it truly only later on. But it was your hug. 

Your hug made him feel like he belonged. 

At least on this front. Being part of the family. Truly. Your hug solved it…

It sounded silly. Yet it wasn’t. All it took, was a mother putting all her feelings of love into one simple hug. 

From then and on, whenever Duke felt lost, confused or sad. Unable to find his way and his place. He’d come to you. He’d have this look in his eyes, that you could recognize anywhere. 

And you’d give him a warm loving hug. A mother’s hug. Making him understand that it was ok. That it was going to be ok. And that he did nothing wrong, seeking comfort like that. 

Because yes. At first, he thought of his mom, still in that special hospital opened for Joker’s laughing gas’ victims. He thought, what if his mom saw him, there, hugging someone else who he started to think as as a second mom ? 

But then you were there. 

Telling him seeking comfort was ok. Wanting hugs was ok. 

And his mom ? She’d probably give YOU the biggest warmest hug, if she knew you were there for her son. If she knew you considered him your own…

All it took, was a hug. And being willing to ask for help. 

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Since the pandemic, I haven’t had a single hug. I felt compelled to write about one of my favorite thing ever :). Just something written in a few minutes, in one sitting (understand that as : “I’m sorry if there’s typos I didn’t re-read myself and I’m using the fact I wrote it fast as a poor excuse to explain those” haha). 

Hope you liked it. As usual, comments and/or reblogs are more than appreciated and super motivating <3.