But I’ll try to make some sense. Please read this post if you can, it’ll clarify a lot of things that I don’t feel comfortable in repeating because they are traumatic and painful.
First, I would like to say thank you to everyone who helped, you guys literally saved my life.
Times are hard for everyone, but better times are coming. There’s something that I tell myself everyday, since I lived with my abusive mother, “nothing lasts forever, and your pain & suffering are not an exception”.
Things around here are not going so well, to say the least. We have the worst financial situation ever, the last time something was THAT bad, it was 18 years ago (according to news sources, you can search if you want to). There’s no jobs available, we are reaching 3k deaths daily because of Covid, no vaccines because our president is an asshole and a genocide, everything is dark and miserable, which contrasts perfectly with how we feel at the moment.
To top it off, I’m a mentally disabled person in the middle of this chaos, without any support from my family (they don’t really like me, they are the source of every mental illness I have and even if they did, they are struggling a lot).
I was diagnosed with chronic fibromyalgia, severe depression, generalized anxiety, insomnia, bulimia, etc… I need, at least, 4 different medications daily to be 50% functional, and at the moment, I don’t have my medications for weeks, I’m going through a terrible withdrawal, and they are extremely expensive (just one box of antidepressants are 125 reais, and i need two of each).
At the moment my mental health is in shambles, I feel extremely depressed and suicidal again, sometimes dealing with so many illnesses at once can be extremely difficult and exhausting, but I feel like I have some kind of path in this life, I can’t give up now, even if I cry myself to sleep every night. I’m trying to be stronger than I feel, but gods, it’s so hard…
I feel extremely ashamed with asking for help, but at this point I don’t see a way out, I have to at least try it.
If you can help with anything, our situation is so bad that sometimes 1 dollar reach 7 reais, so really, anything helps immensely. I apologize in advance.
I’m sorry if this does not make much sense, I don’t have my fibro medication and my brain is barely working.
Stay strong. And for other Brazilian simmers, better times will come eventually. Please don’t give up. We are a strong people, we’ll survive this.
May the gods bless all of you. Thank you for taking your precious time to read this.
Even if you can’t donate, reblogging would help a lot.
My mental situation is getting worse as time goes by, I only managed to buy 1 medication (the one for anxiety), but my depression is awful right now and I’m on the verge of a breakdown. If you can spare anything, please, any amount makes literally a huge difference.
My situation is so bad right now that I had to give my boyfriend some space so he could care for his own mental health, he is completely drained and I understand this. It’s not easy to deal with someone so mentally ill, specially when this person have no kind of treatment available. I don’t brush my hair for almost a month and my house is so filthy that I’m having allergies, at this point suicide just seems like the most reasonable option. I’m sorry for reblogging this again, but I don’t know what else to do.
If you can’t donate, please reblog, it helps a lot.
Got some updates on the subject
I’ll have to have a session with my psychiatrist on Thursday because he wants to do a checkup on how my recent prescriptions are working for me, and I’ll probably have to change my antidepressants because the side effects were making my insomnia and anxiety worse, I don’t know if he’ll prescribe anything more or change any other prescription, so I’m terrified because only the session is R$ 200 and on top of that I’ll have to buy the medications as well, and I don’t have more than R$ 500 left.
I can’t begin to describe how hellish these past weeks and the entire month has been to me, so if you can help or even reblog, I would appreciate more than you could ever imagine.
Again, I’m sorry for reblogging this so often, but I don’t know what else to do at this point.
Unfortunately,I tried to commit suicide today. I took 45 pills of pregabalin, I was very close to getting into a coma. Friends almost called an ambulance to take me to the hospital, but for some reason, it wasn’t enough to kill me, putting me in a coma very close to death.
I’m not going to describe the symptoms, what I felt and things like that, because I don’t want to trigger anyone, more than I already am. Just know that I got medium to high symptoms but I stayed awake the whole time. I posted some things about it on social media because unfortunately, it is my window to the world, since the world does not exist for me here, and a bunch of people, some friends, came to talk to me about the situation, and I was so affected by the medication, and still am, that is hard to type a word, it’s still hard to type, I don’t know when I’ll be myself again.
I came here to update you guys on my situation, I took one and a half month of medications for my fibromyalgia, and now, looking at it, I feel so stupid, I wasted that much and I can’t fucking afford my meds, and I have to go to my psychiatrist, which is 200 reais, i don’t even know how I’m going to do it.
In the picture there are the empty tabs of pregabalin, I feel ashamed by this whole situation, and even more ashamed because I’m posting about it.
Old Cleo on reboot body. Body has warmer tone, but I’m gonna paint her bandages, so it’s not a big deal. Older body more elegant in my opinion, but I probably trade this for more details)
My IT still don’t have her own outfit, but at least she can give back her brother’s backpack back to him, as she has a brand new purse) And I finally got Looks Model #8 with normal eyes)
And that is how a collector doll from mattel should look, to bad, it they did it only once… Mine is OOAK of course, but all her outfit, body, stand are from mattel.
It looks like I’ve got a promotion a 1 year earlier than scheduled (and of course nobody said about me that for a month XD) or not and I’m bad at math. But anyway - not bad :)
Dolls life cycle: from various sellers -> after first wash by reseller -> after second wash by me. I will repaint that drunk Clawdeen corpse later, and I also has arms for her)
Miss you guys! Last day of teaching was last week and I have just been enjoying summer, reading, and working hard on my etsy shop. Our house should be done in 2 months(ish) so Mila can have more room to play. We have been hiking recently - the weather has been so nice. I won’t really be on but my tumblr will continue to be available for you, keep making awesome things! :)
Rules: Answer 30 questions and tag 10 people Nickname(s): Abs, Abagee, Smubuh, Spoda, Baby Abs Gender:Female Sign: Virgo Height:5′2″ Time: 8:08 PM Birthday: September 4th Favourite Band(s): Fall Out Boy, Panic! At the Disco, Cobra Starship Favourite Solo Artist(s): Amos Lee, Jasmine Thompson Song Stuck In My Head: “Music of the Night” from Phantom of the Opera Last Movie I Watched: We just watched “LOGAN” last night Last Show I Watched: Planet Earth II When Did I Create This Blog: I created it sometime in early 2016, but really started posting in November or December of 2016. What Do I Post: Mostly tutorials and asks, sometimes edits or builds What Did I Last Google: Can dogs go potty on synthetic turf? Haha weird I KNOW! :P Other Blogs: I have my smubuhfinds blog and the editcoffeeshop blog. Do I Get Asks: Yes, and I feel so bad I am bad at keeping up with them! Why Did I Choose This Url: Ryan started calling me smubuh during our freshmen year of college and it just stuck?! Following:493 Followers:12,317 Average Hours of Sleep: Probably about 7ish?! Lucky Number: 2, it was always my softball number! Instrument: I wish! I attempted to play the clarinet in middle school but that was a total fail! What Am I Wearing: Grey sweater, black pants, and fuzzy socks! Dream Job: I love my job as an art teacher actually and I can’t imagine doing anything else! Last Book I Read:Probably “Room”?? 3 Favourite Fandoms: Avatar the Last Airbender, LOTR/Hobbit, Gravity Falls maybe?
First I have to say sorry for not being around here since…I dont now how long. I know I promissed to create more in the future, but you know…life is an asshole. My Husband is in Hospital for 3 weeks now.
3 Weeks ago I had to call the Emergency, because Hubby was very sick. And it was getting worse and worse. In Hospital they took him in artificial Coma, because he can’t breath allone, and he had a very big Infection at his skin from the left to the right hip. He got a surgery instantly and the Docs had to cut a lot of tissue away ( 12 kilogramms ).
The first what the Doc told me at the Phone was “We are not sure if he will surrive the surgery”. It was a Shock…
But…he made it! He gets better ervery Day, he make Jokes again and yesterday our Daughter and I where allowed to visit him after 3 weeks for 1 hour. He has to stay 2 weeks more in Hospital, and after that he make a Rehab, to get a full recovery.
Now, since I know he is okay, I will again start to create with small things.
First I wish you all in this Corona-Situation all the best! Stay safe and take care!
The last time I posted CC was in the end of March. In my last Posting I promissed that I create more, but than a lot of things happend. A week ago I had to call the Emergency for my Husband. He was sick with the typical Flu Symptoms, and at this Day he collapsed here at home. They come with an Ambulance, 3 Doctors where here…and than they took him to Hospital.
He couldn’t breath allone, has high Temp etc. After a few Tests the said it was pneunomia. But - thanks God - not Corona/Covid19.
And in the same week he was in Hospital, I got very sick too. Same typical Flu Symptoms. But my Doctor said, I got not be tested. Only if it gets worse. I have to stay at home and take medis. Luckily its much better now.
Now Hubby and I have to relax, recover and have to rest a lot. When all this is over, and Normal Life is coming back, I will create more again. Here and than I will create a small Gift, but in the next few weeks nothing bigger CC.
The last 2,5 Years I was not much active with posting and creating. Some of you Guys now, that I become incurable ill this time ago, and it took me a very long time to accept it. A lot of Tears, Depressions, Panic Attacs later, I thought “Okay, I can’t change it, so I have to deal with it!”
It was hard and difficult, but my lovely Husband and my two amazing Kids gave me the Power to handle this. AND a bunch of awesome friends I made in this Sims Comunity! Love you Guys!
I felt so bad for all my Follower, that I couldn’t gave you what you deserve, and why you follow my Tumblr!
I remember all the lovely comments and private messages with thoughts, prayers and lovely words after I made the Decision to make my Illness public. I was not sure if it was a good idea, but after I saw all your reactions, I was happy that I did.
Why do I write all of this?
Well, I noticed a few Days ago, that I’m near a big Milestone! And that you Guys never stop supporting me, you are still here, even tough I was not very active. And I got much more Follower, what I never expect!
I have now more than 19K Follower - GOSH, I can’t believe it! - and I want to thank all of you for your support, staying with me, all your lovely words etc.!
After this long time I feel better, and my Goal is to create a Thank-You-Gift for all of you. I can’t say when its done, and I don’t make any promisses when it could be done. Because I’m still ill, and have painfull Days, need to relax and all that stuff. But what I promisse is: I allready start with this Gift, and you will get it!
Well … like many others, I fell in love with a new game ! Planet Zoo is so beautiful ! But I prefer sandbox mode, it’s more convenient not to go bankrupt (I managed to get - $ 9,000 at Maple Leaf Zoo in career mode) ! I don’t forget the Sims of course, but here I’m taking a little animal break ! And if you don’t want to see it, it will be tagged “planet zoo” simply.
