#nostalgia critic

ChannelAwesome + The OnionHeadlines

part II

Channel Awesome + The OnionHeadlines

April Fools features one of the best opening chapters I’ve read in my Point Horror reviews. It flies out of the gate with a very believable and terrifying car accident. I was immediately invested in Belinda’s anxiety around the horrible decisions her friends were making. The rest of the book didn’t quite live up to the promise of this scene, but it was still an enjoyable read. I didn’t predict the ending, so kudos to Cusick for that. I thought for sure I had figured it all out. For most of the book, I was struck by how badly Belinda needed to find better friends. Hildy and Frank sucked on a deep and fundamental level. This was by design and a part of the story arc, but I still think Cusick was way too kind to them. I wish the book had spent less time on pranks and fake scares, even though that was very much in line with the theme and title. What April Fools really needed was higher stakes, more dire consequences, and a better fleshed-out villain than the one we got at the end. I think it would have benefitted from being less of a mystery and more of a true horror story. The book bears some obvious comparisons to I Know What You Did Last Summer, but it was not a rip-off by any means. April Fools is my least favorite of Cusick’s books that I have read (see The LockerandTrick or Treat) but I still had fun with it.

Score: 3

And if you want a deep-dive, snark-filled, recap review with spoilers, gifs, and meme, head on over to my website blog Fits of Nostalgia.

The Midnight Club marks the first time I’ve cried while reading a Christopher Pike book. I was expecting it to be sad based on the premise, but I didn’t expect to be so moved by it. It reminded me of the best parts of Road to Nowhere. The whole concept of Rotterham House seemed a bit fantastical, but not in a bad way. It was fantastical in a way that elevated the story and fit the underlying spiritual themes. I am sure similar places exist, but I don’t think they’re in castles by the sea where dying teenagers live apart from their families. I’m hardly familiar enough with hospice care for young people to know one way or the other, but I don’t think it matters in the context of this story. Ilonka was a strong central character in a cast of strong characters. I appreciated the journey she was on. The spiritual elements of the book had a similar ring to what Pike espoused in Remember Me 2, but this time they were far more subtle. Where the latter was sanctimonious and preachy, The Midnight Club felt understated and inviting. The stories that the kids told each other at their midnight meetings by the fireplace spoke to the various ways each of them was confronting death. Pike has a reputation for writing some pretty twisted shit, and I honestly love that about his books. That’s why I was genuinely surprised by the sweet moments in this one. I bumped this up on my list because of the coming Mike Flanagan adaptation, and I’m glad that I did. I’m excited to see what one of my favorite directors does with one of my now-favorite author’s books.

Score: 5

And if you want a deep-dive, snark-filled, recap review with spoiles, gifs, and meme, head on over to my website blog: https://www.danstalter.com/the-midnight-club/

It is worth noting right off the bat that this is the one book in the main Fear Street series that is confirmed to have been ghostwritten. I’m no forensic expert in writing styles, but the narrative voice definitely felt different than the plethora of Stine’s books that I have read. All of that aside, The Thrill Club was a mixed bag. There were a few too many characters for how short the book was; which makes me think it would have been a better fit for the Super Chiller spin-offs. The best parts of it reminded me of Christopher Pike’s stronger books. There was an interesting idea at its core, but it was ultimately bogged down by its very dated notions around race. The othering of indigenous cultures in American media is hardly a rare phenomenon, and this was especially true in 1994. Hell, that was pretty much the entire basis of the beloved Indiana Jones franchise. The Thrill Club might not be as egregious as Temple of Doom, but it was still a bad look and it did not age well. Even worse was the book’s treatment of the first black character to grace the cover of a Fear Street book. I’ll save the spoilers for below the jump, but I doubt it will surprise anyone who pays even the tiniest bit of attention to these things. All of this clouded what was an otherwise creepy concept with a complex villain. With more pages to tell the story and a few small but very significant changes, The Thrill Club could have been a really good book.

Score:2.5

You can find the full snark-filled, spoiler-laced, deep-dive review; onmy website blog.

Dream Date was stronger in concept than it was in execution. I really liked the ideas that Sinclair Smith was playing with here. There were some genuinely creepy moments, and there was even an example of a good boyfriend. That’s a rare find in these books. Katie’s journey was relatable for me, and I could see that being the case for a lot of teenagers. I was once painfully shy myself. That being said, Katie was quite bland for the main character. I wish she had a hobby or something that she felt passionate about. Heath felt like he was based on an awful person that the author knew. He had more than a few moments where he made my skin crawl; reminded me at times of Killgrave in Jessica Jones at the best of them. I wish he had been a bit more dynamic, but he still worked well as a villain. I also really wanted the dream space to be more imaginative. It was a missed opportunity to get surreal, which could have given this book a sense of atmosphere. I’m also not the biggest fan of third-person narration with tons of italic first-person thoughts, but that could just be me. The ending worked aside from one minor contrivance I’ll save for below the jump. I didn’t love it, but it worked. Dream Date may have over-promised with its ideas and under-delivered with the details, but it was still an enjoyable read.

Score: 3

For my snark-filled, spoiler-laced, deep-dive review; check out my blog.

I first read Road to Nowhere when I was 10, and oh boy was I way too young to handle significant parts of this subject matter. I just remember seeing an awesome book cover on a classmate’s desk and seeking it out at the library. I was thrilled when I came across the (very minor) swearing. All of that context aside, this is a really good book and one of Christopher Pike’s best. It’s a bit of a slow mover, but the ending is more than worth it. I really liked all of the main characters, both the ones in the car and the ones in the stories they were telling. The “campfire” style of the narrative allowed for each story to take its time and resonate. There was also a really powerful message here aimed at the teenage target audience that I think was tastefully done. I appreciated that it wasn’t too heavy-handed with themes that could easily get sappy and sanctimonious. In total, Road to Nowhere scratched my nostalgic itch, turned out better than I had remembered, and made me want to dive even deeper into Christopher Pike’s twisted canon.

Score: 5

My full review and recap with memes, snark, and spoilers can be found on my blog:

https://www.danstalter.com/road-to-nowhere/

Attack of the Mutant was a lot of fun. It was more of an adventure story than a horror story, but I was perfectly fine with that. I like it when a book succeeds at being the book it’s trying to be. Skipper was an annoying character but was highly believable. I knew that kid in school and so did you. I look forward to him growing up and finding out that his comic collections are likely worth the same amount as his collections of Pogs and Beanie Babies. My biggest beef had to do with the villainous motives of the Masked Mutant. On one hand, I appreciated the silliness of it all and just enjoyed the ride. On the other hand, there were a few too many sloppy and contradictory moments to simply let things slide. This is a common trend I’m finding in these books, and it’s a shame because some of them are just a few minor tweaks away from being great. I suppose that’s one of the downfalls of a massively popular series that churns out so many books in a single year. Flaws and all, I still think this was one of the better and more creative books in the series.

Score: 3

For more thorough analysis on the plot motives of villains in children’s literature, I have a spoiler-filled review up on my blog:

https://www.danstalter.com/attack-of-the-mutant/

Phantom of the Auditorium is one of the more solid Goosebumps books I’ve read so far, though it is not without significant flaws. It had a few scary moments, but it mostly kept things light-hearted. I would say it was more entertaining than truly scary. It was even surprisingly sweet at times. I liked the character dynamics of the kids, even though it was way too easy for them to break into their Middle School at night. The sloppiest parts of the story revolved around the villain and their motives. Bad guys in Goosebumps books tend to make some really baffling decisions. Phantom is no exception. Ultimately this didn’t detract too much from the story, however. That’s because Phantom’s strength is in the layered storytelling, with multiple plotlines interconnecting. This allows it to succeed on some levels even as it falls flat on others. That’s about as specific as I can get without dropping major spoilers.

Score: 3.5

For more thorough analysis on the plot motives of villains in children’s literature, I have a spoiler-filled review up on my blog:

https://www.danstalter.com/phantom-of-the-auditorium/

Return of the Mummy picks up one year after the events of Curse of the Mummy’s Tomb and sees Gabe returning to Egypt to visit his archeologist Uncle Ben and know-it-all cousin Sari. It’s got some good scares like the first book, and the setting lends itself naturally to a sense of adventure. There were some good comedic bits in there, too. I really liked the fake mummy who was there to shoot a gum commercial. The core characters had a good backstory to build off of from the first book, and no harm was done bringing them back for book two. However, so far as the other characters go… Stine has a tendency to write villains whose motivations are little more than vague notions of world domination. This makes sense to a degree when you consider the strong overlap of Goosebumps readers who religiously watched shows like Power Rangers. Complex villains weren’t exactly something that was sought out by this readership. And yes; I’m counting myself among them. Return of the Mummy felt like a missed opportunity on this front. Without getting into spoilers, the villain(s) had a great setup before stumbling into this vague and predictable cliche. Overall, Return of the Mummy was fine. It was a mild letdown after the first book and lands firmly in the middle of the Goosebumpspack.

Score: 3

For more thorough analysis on the plot motives of villains in children’s literature, I have a spoiler-filled review up on my blog:

https://www.danstalter.com/return-of-the-mummy/

Ghost Beach was almost as creepy as I remembered it being. It did a great job of making the beach scary, built an excellent atmosphere, and delivered some truly spooky scenes. That being said, the overall concept ended up being half-baked. Jerry and Terri were two strong main characters, but almost every other character had really unclear and contradictory motives. I was reminded of Welcome to Dead House, where I was left wanting a better explanation behind the creepy town and its people. It frustrating because with another round or two of edits I think this could have been one of the best books in the series. It had all the right elements, but it fell apart when it came to actually making any sense. These issues clearly didn’t bother me when I was a child, so maybe it’s less of a problem than I am making it out to be, but I stand by my rating. Ghost Beach falls frustratingly short of the book it could have been.

Score: 3.5

For more frantic questions about the politics of ghost communes and the science of dogs recognizing ghosts, I have a spoiler-filled review up on my blog:

https://www.danstalter.com/ghost-beach/