gonna be catching up on asks for the next hour or so. if you want to ask a question and get a response in a shorter time frame than six months, now’s your chance
I’m so fucking cute I don’t even know what to do with myself. ^_^
New shots up over at my personal tumblr. In case the 300 or so new followers I suddenly developed over the last month aren’t aware, I model.And am kind of an attention whore.
Also PSA: If you get tired of stuff that is not porn on this blog, you can block the tag “not porn.”
fluffyballofdeath said: Everything you post is cute and/or hilariously awkward, and that’s the best kind of both sex and porn in my opinion. I also like imagining the models trying to keep still for the long exposure with their silly hats and legs in the air…
sometimes I stalk my followers and I’m constantly blown away by how attractive and intelligent y'all you seem to be.
Like, half of my followers are other porn blogs, and that I get, but the rest of you either look like models or write really philosophical shit, why are you following a blog devoted to ranting about the terrible sets in antique erotica?
Hello my darling perverts. I apologize for the lack of posts, but finals ate my brain and then this happened and we’ll just say I was time/space traveling for a while.
Two things happened during my travels that concern you:
1) I acquired an honest to God Victorian sex-ed book/manual. Diseases you’ve never heard of! Incredibly unsound medical advice! Questionable treatments! Poor understanding of anatomy! Expect quotes. Probably as captions.
2) I finally caught The Aether Brigade (aetherbrigade) in action and I cannot recommend them highly enough. Hilarious, charming, bawdy semi-improvisational comedy. A night of alternating vibrator, time travel and history jokes which ended with an inflatable boob fight. I was cackling for an hour straight. We chatted for a while after (who knew that “Hey I run that Victorian porn tumblr you follow” works as an icebreaker? Next time I’ll see if I can use it as a pick-up line) and they are lovely adorable people to boot. Especially a certain ginger engineer with an apparently very effective treatment for, ahem, hysteria.
I am hoping to wrangle one or two of them into providing some (possibly semi-drunken) snarky commentary, so perhaps there is a guest post in our futures? We shall see.
In the meantime, I am back from my adventures and porn shall resume shortly.
7 Cups of Tea connects you to free active listeners, counselors online, and online therapy. Speak anonymously with a trained, compassionate person when you need someone to talk to.
I just got off the site. I had a massive anxiety attack and I remember seeing chesca’sfacebook post last night and since imalive.org was busy they suggested this page and I got help. The listener was super helpful and you never know when you might need help.
This was the second time I’ve had an attack in my life and it was definitely more intense and I’m really glad there are resources like this to help out in times of need. Thank God for the internet.
So don’t be afraid to share, you never know who you end up helping.
There’s over 6,000 of you now. How many are pornbots, I don’t know, but I know a bunch are real actual people.
I’ve been running this place since 2012. I’m glad my inane commentary on socks and dumb hats and terrible wallpaper has brought joy to you. This blog has been with me through college, grad school, the demise of a 7 year relationship, and the start of a new one (hi sweetie!). It has brought me friends and kept me company.
I don’t know what’s going to happen to TNV. I would like to think that because this is a collection of historical interest providing commentary, analysis, and education to the adult public, that we would escape the purge buuuut…well. In my real life I’m a librarian and I know too much about how corporations use algorithms to have any real hope.
As a librarian I am also incandescent with rage about this act of censorship. Despite its iffy usability, the artistic, fandom, and sex work communities on tumblr managed to flourish. The fact they are just going to shut down anything perceived by an algorithm to be adult content despite being an app explicitly for adults is frankly an injustice. But corporations have never cared about justice or people, so…I’m angry as hell, but I’m not surprised.
Anyway. Due to the nature of this content, I can’t move it to instagram, facebook, or twitter. I’m most likely going to back it up to a Wordpress. I’ll let you all know when it’s up.
I will be here as long as they let me. My personal tumblr (and my Archive Of Our Own handle) is @elzebrook, so follow me there for updates if this one gets axed. It’s largely fan content and animal pictures.
I try to keep my other social media streams separate from this one, but I do have a twitter and an insta and if you want them, feel free to message me–with the understanding that I may not give them to you because I am a capricious kind of elf.
@c9-smoothie the saga continues. I’m pretty sure there’s an etruscan fresco of some people having a threesome with a bull out there too but there are things even I won’t google.
OH HI YOU HIT THE “GET ELZE TO RAMBLE ABOUT THE ETRUSCANS” BUTTON!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!! Your prize is me rambling about the Etruscans!!!!!!!!!!
You are, I believe, thinking of The Tomb of the Bulls in Tarquinia. The full frescoed wall in question:
And what’s above Door #1?
Difficult to make out, but we have a bull lying in a field, while next to him, three people are boning! Hooray threesomes! A lovely day for it.
But what’s above Door #2?
Two dudes boning in the field while a bull with a human face and a beard charges at them! Judging by this bull’s rampant erection, he wants in. Or maybe he just gets excited by the idea of trampling people. I’m not here to kinkshame ancient human-faced bulls.
The Etruscans are, hands down, my favorite ancient civilization. Because if you’re going to be dead, you might as well get to look at porn for all eternity.
Etruscans believed eroticism drove off evil.
That’s one theory, yeah. But tbh western archeologists have a looong history of calling anything they don’t immediately understand/see a use for/want to think about apotropaic. Personally I just think Etruscans knew what they liked and wanted to have what they liked in their afterlife. Namely parties, food, fucking, booze, music, dancing, sports, and having a Good Time.
