#off campus

Did your roommate not wash his dishes again? Whose turn is it to clean the bathroom? Conflicts with roommates can ruin your relationship with perfectly nice people if you don’t handle them correctly. When simple problems like those involving housework come up, you need to be able to handle them with maturity and a sense of calm. Here are some tips to help you maintain good relations with your roomies. ·         

1) Ask yourself whether the problem is really that big of a deal. If it is something that only bugs you, then maybe you’re overreacting. Do you really want to ruin a relationship with a roommate over whether they turn their music off at 9 or 9:10 p.m.?·         

2) Acknowledge the problem to yourself and then bring the situation to your roommate directly. Give yourself time to calm down about the issue before you approach your roomie. Avoid gossiping or talking behind your roommate’s back about the problem. This can only make things worse by creating an atmosphere of distrust and tension. ·         

3) Talk to your roommate when you are both calm and have time to deal with the issue. Ask your roommate for a good time to chat. Go into the conversation with a positive attitude, thinking that the conflict can be peacefully resolved. Having this vision in your mind will help you reach an amicable agreement.         

4) Give the discussion the time necessary to get it solved. Don’t try to rush the conversation. ·         

5) Avoid statements like, “You always (bring guys over to stay the night/forget to put the seat down…)” Try instead, “I feel (fill in the emotion) when you (whatever it is that bothers you).”·         

6) Use open body language during the conversation. Avoid crossing your arms. Sit facing your roommate. Look at your roommate in the eyes as he speaks.         

 7) Acknowledge your roommate’s feelings about the situation. Don’t jump in with your two cents, making sure to listen carefully. Nod your head, and affirm what she’s saying. Then recap what she said by saying something like, “What I hear you saying is that…Is that right?” This gives your roomie the opportunity to correct any errors in your understanding of her side of the story and helps her feel that you are truly listening. Really listening to someone can defuse a lot of anger from the beginning and keep the conversation focused on the problem at hand. 

8) Stay on track with the conversation. Don’t go down rabbit trails and talk about other problems until the original one is solved.

9) Be prepared to compromise. It’s the roommate’s home, too, so you’ll probably need to give a little to find a solution you can both agree to.

10) If necessary, write up a contract or a written agreement so that you both remember what you agreed to in the final solution to the problem. Post this where you both can see it, and refer to it regularly.

11) Look at your own actions as a roommate in the house. See what you do that you think might irritate your roommates. Start changing how you act before you go to your roommate with a problem you have with him. Your changing your behavior might make him aware of his own shortcomings, and he might start acting differently without you having to say anything to him.

12) Get a neutral third party to help you resolve the conflict if you cannot do so on your own. Having an objective eye on the situation and someone to perhaps offer some alternative solutions you hadn’t thought of can be very valuable.

13) Be patient with the situation. If your roommate doesn’t immediately change her behavior, gently remind her of it from time to time if necessary. Maybe she just forgot once or twice to act differently. Give her the benefit of the doubt.

14) When you can’t solve the conflict, acknowledge that it is okay to simply not get along with someone well. When the lease is up, find a new roommate, but try to part on good terms. You can also find a sub-letter to take over your part of the lease if you have to leave before the lease ends.

Having roommates isn’t easy, but you don’t have to live in a tension-filled home. Take proactive steps to solve any conflicts before they get too out of hand.

Hello! Several things, so please forgive me for the somewhat long post.

First, I am trying to slowly get back to being able to post here and, to do that, I really just want a clean slate of sorts. So please do not feel bad or freak out if I unfollow you. I am unfollowing pretty much everyone temporarily so I can start from scratch. The fandom has changed a lot, and I just need a clean space to start again.

So, again, PLEASE DO NOT TAKE IT PERSONALLY. I am doing this to everyone purely for the sake of starting over.

Second, TELL ME WHO YOUR FAVORITE BLOGS ARE SO I CAN FOLLOW THEM

I want to know who you love having on your dash who is a positive, interesting, funny or aesthetic blog. Even if that someone is YOU! Please tell me because I want to check out people’s blogs and possibly follow them!

Here are some of my favorite fandoms and things:

• ACOTAR
• Azriel
• Gwyneth
• Gwynriel
• Nessian
• Feysand
• TOG
• Elorcan
• Rowaelin
• Dorian
• Slytherin/Dramione
• Stephanie Garber books
• Jane Austen
• Contemporary romances
• Books - in general
• Loki
• Marvel
• Shadowhunter books
• Infernal Devices
• Ducks
• The Off Campus books
• Disney
• Disney princesses
• Pretty, cute or funny things - just in general

Things I do NOT like:

• Antis - for any fandom, but especially SJM
• Constant drama - can handle in small doses
• People who make fandom a competition
• People who attack other people
• Mint - the food, I like the color
• Ewriel
• FBAA

Note: I am open to blogs who currently post about CC, but please note that I will not be engaging with CC as a fandom for the foreseeable future. 

Lastly, again, please don’t be offended if you’re one of the ones I unfollow and possibly have to refollow. I am just trying to create a clean slate for myself.

why do y’all hate the third act breakup so much ?? i want that shit in everything. every romance book, every tv show romance, every movie romance GIVE IT TO ME!! i LOVE the angst and how can u not be obsessed w their utter disdain they have being apart and spending the whole break up crying and obsessing and feeling empty without their person, yeah, i eat that shit ALL the way up every. single. time.

anyway pls drop recs where the characters have 3rd act breakups in shows, movies, and books

(not interested in like death angst but v interested in like forbidden or pining angst and obvi the breakup)