#pandora hearts

vispero:

Happy to finally show you my part for 2d Pandora Hearts Fanzine<3

happy oz month

i’m glad it’s a clear day!

have not been drawing much tbh

blah blah blah edgar blah blah blah holy knight blah

to-tokiya:

I know this may annoy you but I am really desperate to clear these away from my room. They are all in good condition and available for international buyers.

All prices are in SGD and negotiable. (Please convert to your own currency. I accept whatever the current exchange rate is)

(More details under the cut)

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After rereading the manga and looking at Misha’s role in story again, i realized that ‘rewriting the past’ seems to be important theme for the story and characters. (And it was also one of theme in Pandora Hearts too).

I also love that this panel tells a lot about how Misha sees the world. Everything looks shine but it looks like its covering the darkness, as if it looks like escapism from dark reality in a way.

Anyway, here we go.

Jung’s take on the Hero has a twist then. Archetypal heroism is ALWAYS accompanied by darkness. But here’s the real twist. A truly Jungian one. Darkness comes not only from outside the self – from all those trials and tribulations the present themselves through the course of our lives – but also from within The Self. What’s more, this is the most potent test of all. It is our own degenerate nature which above all else, must be exposed, acknowledged, and if not defeated, then certainly fought against. (Source)

In many hero-villain stories, villains are meant to symbolise hero’s biggest flaws. That they are the dark side of heroes, the side they dont want to face. The flaw they dont want to adress.

Heroes of this story is our protoganists, Vanitas and Noe. Vanitas has classic self-sacrificing behavour that heroes has, he is just the more tragic and dark version of it cause of his violent side. Noe is the same cause of his simple desire to help others but just like Vanitas, he is not just pure good, he is gray.

And when it comes to villains, well, we have characters like Doctor Moreu, Teacher, Ruthven, Faustina who became cursed and steal names etc etc. Just like any other story, vthere are different kind of villains. Most of them is still a mystery to us but anyway. There are just cruel-natured villains like Teacher and Dr Moreou. Ruthven is mystery but he is meant to be parallels with Noe. (They both wanted vampires-humans war to stop). And Faustina is most likely tragic victim who end up loosing herself but her story is mystery too.

There are also characters like Mikhail and Astolfo who is on the wrong side and doing wrong things but not because they are evil but because of their tragic backstories. They are villains too in a way. Astolfo is parallel with Vanitas, he symbolise the old self of him, they only choose different paths cause of destiny in a way. Meanwhile, Mikhail is both parallel with Noe and Vanitas, as i and other people already mentioned.

The Shadow is not so much the hero’s nemesis, as his evil twin. It is that irrational, unpleasant and unpalatable side of our nature that we all possess. It is our own internal and unincorporated darkness which must be encountered and assimilated. According to Jung, it is precisely because the shadow is an integral part of our whole self, that it becomes imperative for us to know that it exists. In fact, it is impossible for it not to exists. And this knowledge seems to be entirely lacking in most of us. (Source)

As villain, Mikhail’s purpose in story is rewritting the past and this is exactly why i think he is the shadow of heroes. The dark side, the flaw of heroes that they dont want to face or adress because we know that Vanitas and Noe try to rewrite the past why projecting that past onto people around them. Even though, Mikhail is the antagonist for them, that they dont agree with his purpose and actions, they do exactly same thing in a way. (Not just rewriting the past, Vanitas and Noe act violent too and doing wrong things too so.)

Repetition compulsion is a psychological phenomenon in which a person repeats an event or its circumstances over and over again. This includes re-enacting the event or putting oneself in situations where the event is likely to happen again. This “re-living” can also take the form of dreams in which memories and feelings of what happened are repeated, and even hallucinated.(Source)

As an example;

Vanitas putting himself onto dangerous situtions for no logical reason. Just like when he admitted that he is the kin of blue moon to the all vampires. He is putting himself onto danger cause he is used ti living his life in danger. (+ Him pushing people is also cause of fear of loosing those people).

Or even the scene where Misha forced Noe to drink his blood. Drinking blood thing is sexual activity in a way so forcing Noe to harass himself is because thats what happenned to him when he was child. “Then, here, you can take my blood”. Offering himself as if he is some kind of “object”. He is sexual abuse victim and this is how he was treated and he unconciously repeats his trauma.

Or even the reason Misha is choosing an adult (teacher) even though he uses him. But unlike their past, this time they choose those awfull situtions to feel more powerfull but in the end, they repeat their trauma.

“We repeat what we do not repair.” —Christine Langley Obaugh (Source)

So i would like to focus on Vanitas projecting his past onto Jeanne and Noe and a little Noe projecting his past onto Vanitas.

Main reason why Vanitas chose Noe and Jeanne is because he thought he was so sure they wouldnt like him and he unconciously saw the traces of pasts in them.

First, with Jeanne.

The reason he found her interesting is because ‘she became weak cause she found someone to protect’. Jeanne’s desire to protect Luna is similar to Vanitas’s desire to protect Misha. He saw his past self in her and found her interesting.

- (Chloe-Vanitas parallels too.)

He also said he found her pretty attractive, he is right but its kinda weird that he is attractive to someone who is similar to his brother. A woman who exactly look like Mikhail, even their aura, their cute behavours, expresions seems to be identical.

Mikhail-Jeanne panels looks so identical, its hard to differentiate.

They both idolise Vanitas. And the way Vanitas try to look cool and impress them is similar.

(Actually similarities between those two and other things made me write this analysis.)

Compulsive repetition of the trauma may provide a temporary sense of mastery or even pleasure (but ultimately leads to chronic feelings of helplessness and a sense of being bad and out of control). (Source)

And he also made a promise to her, that he will kill her, before she hurted someone she cares about (Luca). Vanitas was so familiar with that emotion. Theory, whether Luna or he hurt someone they love (maybe Misha), thats why Vanitas thinks he should kill ‘that person’ before they become something monstrious and hurt someone they love. He projects what happenned to him, Luna and Misha on her issues. Vanitas most likely failed to kill ‘that person’ before the whatever happenned so he is trying to fix that mistake by helping Jeanne. By rewriting the past.

And even he is giving her a promise, just like how he promised Misha in the past. The promise Vanitas failed to keep. So this time he is making a promise that he thinks he can keep.

Later, the scene when Vanitas fell in love with Jeanne, the moment he felt warmth. That smile of Jeanne is exactly look like Misha’s smile with Luna and Vanitas, the panel where Misha said he likes warm things.

And with Noe.

He found him interesting with his cute expressive personality, (Just like Luna and Misha).

Jeanne is a character who is identical to Mikhail while Noe is more identical to Luna. Noe has black skin, white hair with mature, tall, big body just like Luna. He looks like the male version of Luna. (Yeah, Luna doesnt have gender but still, she looks like female).

They both airhead, adults with manchild personality, they cant handle things by theirselves so other people need to take care of them. + Mikhail’s past, worldview, positvitism is parallel with Noe too.

Also both Luna and Noe are the first people who really gave a choice to Vanitas and understand him. Also Vanitas show his vulnerable side to them and open up. Vanitas rely on him, the way he uses to rely on Luna.

The scene when Noe gave blanket to Vanitas to make him warm is also similar how Luna gave him blanket too, again to keep him warm, showing that he is loved.

And again, just like Jeanne case, Vanitas wants to be killed by Noe, before he become something monstrious. This time, he takes the opposite role. Just like how he killed Luna before its too late, he wants Noe to kill him.

Even the Tarte Tarin scene, Vanitas making sweets for Noe is parallel with the times he did for Luna and Misha.

+ Mikhail wasnt wrong when he thought his brother is kinda replacing him :’))).

We know Noe too. How he projects his failure to save Louis onto Vanitas. By protecting Domi and by trying to reaching out to Vanitas. Louis and Vanitas also looks identical, not by apperances but characters. They both suicidal kids who is full of self hatred, secrets, desire to be saved but wont ask for help, they both jerks who push other people away.

Even the way Noe meets them is similar. They both acted like jerks and Noe become violent agaisnt them but only to eventually be fond of them. + Also Noe is projecting his relationship with teacher on Vanitas cause of slave mentality. Noe was slave and he was bought bu teacher, thats why he tends to obey and idolize his master, this is what he does with Vanitas too, sometimes. He also acts extreme, just like the time he violently hurt Misha, just because of what Vanitas said to Noe in Gevaudan Arc and his possesive feelings of Vanitas, i think. I really hope eventually he realize how much messed up this is.

I am sure that there is more, the more we look it more, the more we will find out.

(I wanted to use more pics to show similarities between panels and scenes but you get the point and its tiring).

Humans seek comfort in the familiar. Freud called this repetition compulsion, which he famously defined as “the desire to return to an earlier state of things.” (Source)

As much as its looks messed up, its actually realistic. People in real life tend to choose situtions and people that they are familiar. People might (often) choose partner who is similar to their family members (parental figure, sibling figure) or ex partners/companion. Just Noe’s feeling familiar with Vanitas cause of his childhood companion. And both Jeanne and Noe are meant to be Vanitas’s partners. He chose them cause of the familiar feeling he had for his found family but of course, Vanitas doesnt see Noe as parental figure, the way Luna became for him. Jeanne is not sister-brother figure the way Misha was/is for him. They are meant to be his partners (maybe more equal relationship). Even though its good thing that Vanitas found more people he can connect, his relationship with both Jeanne and Noe are toxic, unlike the healthy relationship he had with Luna and Misha, before the accident.

Of course, besides all that ‘projecting their issues thing’, they had other moments. After all, Vanitas, Louis, Mikhail, Noe, Luna, Jeanne, despite their similarities, they are different people. And i think they grown to each others by knowing each others after some time. With Noe too. He is learning to pay attention to the person in front of him. They still learn. They still lack of self awareness. I think Vanitas has the some/a little self awareness but he still does it anyway while Noe doesnt seem to has that self awareness yet. They still try to rewrite the past with each others but at the same time, the more story goes, they learn to let go of it. As example, Vanitas’s saying to give up on forcing Noe to what he wants him to do.

Anyway, i hope they realize how much they project past onto each others, stop doing it and looking at the people in front of them. I hope Vanitas doesnt leave Misha behind while doing this too. Also they should realize that this is what Mikhail is trying to do and realize him, empathize with him and trying to help him (to move on) too. Its interesting that at least Misha is more honest about what he wants and what he does with his desire to live, with his desire to literally rewritting the past and with his desire to be happy. Well, usually, shadows are honest so they all should do.  Misha is more associated with life than Vanitas who just wants to die, i love how their trauma push them to opposite ways but at the same time, Misha always somehow keeps giving Vanitas a reason to live, even its force and he brings the kindness inside of him. This is what Vanitas should learn too.

If you read/watch a story in any language other than your native language, you’re going to get confused. A lot. You get used to it and move on.

But the worst thing is being confused and not knowing if it’s your fault or the story’s.

How do you know if you need to go back and find the sentence where you messed up or just stay put and wait for someone to explain the twist?

Try finding a character who knows as much as the audience does. There’s usually at least one, often the main character or someone who hangs out with them. If they’re confused too, then this is probably something the audience is supposed to find puzzling, and the story will devote more time later to making it clearer. But if, say, Naruto is completely okay about the whole thing, you probably messed up somewhere.

If you determine that it’s the plot’s fault you’re confused, you just have to find a character who doesn’t look baffled and wait for them to explain.

It’s a strategy that’s always helped me decide which sentences I need to spend the most effort on. Works great, aside from that one time when I looked around frantically for help and everyone, no matter what side they were on or how much they knew, was just standing there dumbfounded. That was just alarming.

…But situations like that are pretty rare. : )

I did a little cover of Everytime you kissed me! I’ve been wanting to do covers forever,but well… there’s technical diffuculties paired with procrastination. Yet, somehow,today I both felt like it and my equipment didn’t fail me so here we are! My first ever vocal cover posted on the internet! (Unless you heard the blue exorcist song a few yrs ago on Tumblr,or the 07-ghost song on Google plus way back when it existed)

I really hope you like it!

This is one of my absolute favourite of Mochijun’s PH illustrations, and since I can’t find it anywhere online, I scanned it from the artbook There Is. It’s the cover of the vol 16 drama CD

I love it so so much! The lighting,the soft warm colours,ALICE ! I also made some edits:

P.s. this illustration might’ve been the reason I love drawing glowing butterflies so much :D

milkmiki:

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