A Ha!

Imagine the moment

of finding diamonds

and rubies in an instance

of time.

Where things are still and only

logic, reason and

recognition seem to

exist.

Reality transformed afterwards

by the revelation of these

jewels, imbuing more

value to one’s insight.

(prompt:@poetryriot ‘blend into summer’)

she crept up on us so tentatively

I hadn’t realised she’d came:

the river swan taught swimming to its baby

as we gave farewells to the rain.

we threw a party for her arrival,

swills of grenadine and marzipan kiss.

so do we, across the sticky drinks table.

all the lillies in your garden have been picked.

may//r.t.

prompt: onomatopoeia

note  ( pfffft ) to self

don’t make bean  ( pft ) soup 

for guests ( pft pft pft )

Genderfluid

Someone once told me

To package myself into a little box

Like bits in a computer: 0 or 1

Courageous or compassionate

Mini skirts or oversized hoodies

Star Wars or Legally Blonde

Black or white

Ultimately: pink or blue

And I stop to wonder

Why I have to always be one or the other

If I’m made of the stuff of stars

And starlight can be both a particle and a wave.

I want to know the real you, you say
Opening my mind’s door, I show you the way.
The initial path is a sprightly jaunt
Coloured with childhood memories and favorite haunts.
Of blowing rainbow bubbles and chasing glitterbugs
Connecting stars like dots, lazing on hammocks.
And yet, when you walk still, the air gets chilly
The music, slows, stills, an eerie soliloquy.
The shades seem washed out (you pretend not to notice)
And find some forgotten patch of sunshine to shift your focus.
You mask the hesitation in your steps, that unsure sway
But I’ve known the signs (Oh how familiarly!), so I know it anyway.
And so we walk hand in hand, the darkness slowly sets
The hurt, the pain, like unpaid debts.
You trip on thoughts, forgotten like unfinished sketches
And skin your knee on my unpolished edges.
The roar of a million ideas whizzing like bees
Make you cover your ears and your brain freeze.
The walls close in, leave you breathless
(Your eyes unfocused, your gaze helpless)
I try to make you see, as the patterns go round and round
But your fist on my hand tightens painfully, as I realize you’ve lost your ground.
The effort of holding on to your mask is getting overwhelming
The noise is getting louder, your patience is wearing thin.
And amidst them all, you hear footsteps
My demons awakening, shaking off cobwebs.
With one last look to me, you take off running
(There’s an ache in my heart, even though I’d seen it coming)
You stumble your way out, lungs burning for air
Holding on to the walls, to the things about which you pretended to care.
And after you’ve beat your retreat, hasty and sore
You turn to look at my colors, and don’t find them beautiful anymore.
So, you turn and walk away, mourning your careless wish come true
And my demons laugh, at the bit of my darkness, that you now carry with you.

kisses in dreams
are soft like wet cotton
warm like coffee
crisp like powdered sugar
kisses in dreams
are kinder to my cracked soul
than the kisses awake
of whiskey and smoke

My mind weaves moonbeams
When handed a yard of thread
And builds castles of glass
Delicate as a butterfly’s flutter
Hears languages long dead
In a single kind word
And a thousand love letters
Even in a seemingly wayward glance
And that is why, it’s reflected glory
Like a hall full of brilliant mirrors
Falls suddenly and completely dark
When the light of your smile is gone.

I wonder why we run
Towards and away from love
At the same time.

How unfair of me
To expect you to get over me
When I’m still pining for him
And blaming him for not returning my love
Knowing perfectly well that I wouldn’t return yours
Hurting after every message he forgets to reply to
When I haven’t replied to your messages in weeks
And hoping that someday I will end up with him
Knowing that your similar hopes will never come true.

What do you do?
When your will to live
Just trickles down your eyes
And leaves your mouth as sobs
When your heartbeats slow
And the fire’s no more
The memories and the mistakes
That made you laugh out loud
Don’t even warrant a smile anymore
And when the things that set
Your wandering eyes to flames
Become pathetic and sorry
Embers only by name
When you wait for sleep
Not for peace and quiet
But when you wake up another morn
You know you’re closer to dying

“Sister, can you spare me a bite?”, he begs
The old man tattered and numb
But the climb is tough, bearing down on her legs
And surely, she’ll need every last crumb.

“Sister, will you help me up?”, she cries
The child with the mismatched eyes
But the path is long, and she needs to save her strength
So she walks past the little one, with a sigh.

“Sister, could you stay awhile?”, he prays
The man whose soul was tired
But neither kind words nor smiles she could give away
For on the journey ahead, they were required

“Sister, will you rest your eyes?”, they ask
But dear, oh, dear she can’t stop.
She needs to practice her lies and paint on her masks
If she ever wanted to make it to the top.

And on the peak, alone, pockets overflowing, stood she
Realising that she had had enough to give away
That there had been place for more than one here
But now her loneliness colours the view grey.

In my spritely years, I wondered what would be
The brilliant hues that pattern my life’s tapestry
Strand after strand of dyed string I’d knit
Beneath my eyelids, where my daydreams are lit.
Will there be yellowed sunshine and parchments bare
To hold my words and open my hair.
Or will my cheeks bloom in a blush
Set on fire by a young man’s touch.
Or the cerulean of the ink, will it flow through my veins
Dripping when I bleed to make heart shaped stains.
Or am I promised the green, of prosperity abound
And the smell of the rain, on freshly mown ground.
Maybe even purple, from the palette of dusk
As music fills the days, blithesome and brusque
There will be some black, about that I was sure
Times I’ll break down and every moment seems demure.
But do I even dare to hope for the pearly white?
For when I’ll forgive myself and make things right.
When I’ll inflict wounds, stumble and fall
Then pick myself up and learn to stand tall.

And yet my dear, even before I was born
Red were your eyes, when my womanhood you mourned.
My scarlet hands fashioned by endless screams
When words and letters were but a forgotten dream.
Sanguine, your words, paint my shame
As you call me a harlot (easy, too easily) as though it were a game.
My groom values me, only by the red
With which he expects me to stain my marriage bed.
Ruby bloom bruises, that like beauty marks I’ll wear
When life frustrates you, and your grief you’d share.
And red sparks your jealousy when people admire my visage
So I’ll cloak myself from head to toe, and live like a mirage.
Coral, I paint on smiles, pleasing to your glance
So you’d never know, that on the shrapnel of broken hopes I dance.
Garnet, the lies, that I don on my face
As I run (I’m always running) in that unrealistic beauty standard race.
And slowly, carmine drips, painful and wet
As I fight for my rights, and equal value for my sweat.
And so now when I look, as my tears flood
I see a portrait of a naive girl, soaked in blood.