A glass frame of mine.
A glass frame of mind.

Staring in at a stranger
Stranger staring back
My mind as good as shattered
Beauty scarred with cracks

A reflective type of window.
A respective type of window.

Distorted truth
Claimed it’s credibility like a crook
Hidden behind a lie
Can’t get back the toll it took

Necks below the heads of birds
tweet the marbled meat

Post de-heading

still are words

gargled
gasping for a treat

Against the solid wooden block
porcelain taffy glints

an odorous gander,
unfragrable cock

featherhead
poisoned ivy and lints

Poultry magnaminance
chickety-chick

chickety

the Underhouse carriage
looks rickety

up by the marquee,
aclicking his clock
The Craftsman sat spindling his loom

coarse is the grain
on a pinewooden frock
or the larktree

Buttoned
doom

—

i keep seeing myself like an actor and it is not even my play.

i feel this ache to remember my friend´s smiles, their laughs, their flaws, their steps.

slowly drifting from my old self and uncomfortably stepping in my purgatory.

i know i decide but why do i not want to.

what if i have always been purgating and i love it here.

Gazing you feels more intimate than your kisses.

we watch the butterflies outside

as you tell me that you are mercury

and I am carbon dioxide,

and since we’re both

drowning parts of dying stars,

we may as well dance together

till we hit the ground.

the first time//r.t.

you take my words away

— and yet i still try to write about you // tans

i love the colour of your eyes, i freeze when they look into mine.

— there’s something magical about you // tans

what is done in love, is done wrong.

— but the wrong things feel right sometimes // tans

i feel this emptiness inside me. again.

— i wanna keep feeling things. just not emptiness // tans

your memories still follow me but you don’t

— tans

don’t tell me that i can’t do it because the next moment you’ll be praising me.

— tans

i could’ve abandoned my heart but who would’ve loved you till the last?

— tans

people ask me why i’ve trust issues and i tell them your name.

— come, see what have you done // tans

i should stop caring about people’s opinion and live a little.

— after all, you only live once // tans

i like you raw i like you who you truly are.

— so don’t ever change don’t ever change for anyone but yourself // tans

i miss the way i once felt loved

— won’t you come back? // tans

i was there for you and i’ll always be there for you. just remember that

— always means always // tans

fine.

i didn’t admit.

but i love you. a lot.

— tans

because you were kind of a big deal, i couldn’t let go this easily.

— the deal, however, caused trouble // tans

where are you? i’m tired searching for you.

— i wish to find you soon // tans

you should’ve warned me about the damage you were about to cause before coming.

— tans

i knew we were going to end one day because i’ve already learned not to believe in forever.

— nothing lasts forever // tans

Wish upon a star

Once upon a shooting star

A green young lass laid eyes

‘This is how wishes are born’, she said

‘When stars decide to die.’

She dreamt wide and dreamt afar

Of ruby kisses and pale blue skies,

Of buttered caramel on fresh brown bread

And silent chamomile smiles.

A love that holds no bar,

She said, one that brings no lies.

A clear-crystal conscience at night stead

And a sleep that bears no sighs.

As I walk through this stone and tar

Strength to my sinews and thighs

The gaze that knows exactly what’s ahead

Expertly slicing through every guise.

Faith in my convictions, oh yonder star!

And thoughts woven and wise

A lily pad, at death, to rest my head

And to wake up to paradise.

‘Oh dear’ exclaimed the falling star

‘Who painted your wit with lies?’

These ephemeral hopes upon which you are fed

But there are no hands rolling the dice.

You sit dreaming with your eyelids ajar

But pay attention to this advice

Because reality is like the silver thread

Which will close in on you like a vise.

Love is fickle, just because people are

And love isn’t life’s grand prize.

Falling out of love is so easy a tread

Sometimes you’ll be the first to say goodbye.

Your beliefs, my dear, can inflict scars

Don’t ever try to hold on too tight

You will see sickness and stand by death beds

And suckle spirits to forget the cries

Not one path but millions stretch afar

And winding, your true destiny belie

Look at me, helpless in my own fall

So how can I help you survive?

I want to know the real you, you say
Opening my mind’s door, I show you the way.
The initial path is a sprightly jaunt
Coloured with childhood memories and favorite haunts.
Of blowing rainbow bubbles and chasing glitterbugs
Connecting stars like dots, lazing on hammocks.
And yet, when you walk still, the air gets chilly
The music, slows, stills, an eerie soliloquy.
The shades seem washed out (you pretend not to notice)
And find some forgotten patch of sunshine to shift your focus.
You mask the hesitation in your steps, that unsure sway
But I’ve known the signs (Oh how familiarly!), so I know it anyway.
And so we walk hand in hand, the darkness slowly sets
The hurt, the pain, like unpaid debts.
You trip on thoughts, forgotten like unfinished sketches
And skin your knee on my unpolished edges.
The roar of a million ideas whizzing like bees
Make you cover your ears and your brain freeze.
The walls close in, leave you breathless
(Your eyes unfocused, your gaze helpless)
I try to make you see, as the patterns go round and round
But your fist on my hand tightens painfully, as I realize you’ve lost your ground.
The effort of holding on to your mask is getting overwhelming
The noise is getting louder, your patience is wearing thin.
And amidst them all, you hear footsteps
My demons awakening, shaking off cobwebs.
With one last look to me, you take off running
(There’s an ache in my heart, even though I’d seen it coming)
You stumble your way out, lungs burning for air
Holding on to the walls, to the things about which you pretended to care.
And after you’ve beat your retreat, hasty and sore
You turn to look at my colors, and don’t find them beautiful anymore.
So, you turn and walk away, mourning your careless wish come true
And my demons laugh, at the bit of my darkness, that you now carry with you.

I’m certain that when you leave this world
You leave behind traces of your being
In the rush of flavour on your daughters tongue
As an original plum parfait recipe
And sultry whispers in your husband’s ears
As your favourite tune on the radio
In your best friend’s lazy thoughts
As a forgotten book recommendation
That she has finally gotten around to
And on every page of your son’s notebook
Curling the ’S’, just the way you taught him to
Your kindness, as your mother feeds the pigeons
Re enacting the times that you did
In the little pearls that mists their eyes
Upon realising the mysteries you hid.