#random musings
I wonder, how long will it be until my brain stops tormenting my heart with automatic thoughts of you–a meme my fingers itch to send because I know it would make you laugh, a present that would be so perfect for you that I forget for a second I have no reason to buy it, a knee-jerk impulse to run my plans by you like I always did before you decided you no longer wanted me to be a part of yours?
But more than anything, I wonder, when that day finally comes, will it hurt less, or more, than this?
almost changed my instagram handle to heavymetal_historian because it sounded cool and puts together two of my main passions…but then I realized it sounded like I was going to post about the history of metal :| which is neat, but not what I do :/
DRAKE MADE ME NERVOUS…
Sunday started something like this: ‘Drake tonight?’ We’re in a heavy fourth-quarter tour season. Cole & Wale, Yeezus and Hov, and while I have love for all those guys, my inevitable answer to Would You Like A Tour? was, ‘yes please.’
It’s no secret I’ve been a Drake fan since Comeback Season, enjoyably watching him grow into the artist he’s become. He’s built a career off a vulnerability that I alternatively identify with and envy. But as he evolved, so did I. I left Hollywood, started my blog, moved to New York, ended my blog, began to write and produce for other people, got numerous interviews under my belt, joined a web series, left a web series, worked with and for artists and shot a TV show. Hard to describe experiences have sort of become common, not in a boastful way but in a this is just how it is way. I was explaining a few months ago how I barely recall the days of celebrity crushes, before I knew the truth about OZ. Rarely is there anything dreamy about the men behind the mask. I’m an eternal optimist that still appreciates realism, who’s slightly jaded.
My homegirl Tina Farris, a legend in her own right, had passes to the show. We chilled in the backstage lounge, catching Future and Miguel on the monitor before going to the front of the house for the main event.
I’ve seen Drake before. Quite a few times actually. We’ve met. Spoken. I’ve seen him perform, twice. We even had a couple run-ins prior to the show in the hallway in and around the OVO Room. I’m 14 years into Entertainment. Little surprises me anymore. I carry myself professionally and remain mindful not to do anything that might make me ‘that’ girl. So as we caught each other’s eyes passing in the hallway, I politely said, ‘hey, how are you?’ and kept it moving.
I found myself in the circle during his pre-show prayer. He asked for covering over his performance, his voice, Jhene Aiko’s voice, safety for the entire arena, he wanted us all to make it home safe. It was sweet. Sincere.
Drake’s show is awesome. He’s growing leaps and bounds with every tour. His energy is high. He raps like he means every word. He didn’t sing as much, but when he did, he sounded good. The stage is art, complete with the giant circular terrace that allows him to round the arena for one on one time with even the nosebleed sections. There’s a bit of camp and high drama to him. He makes a production of taking a sip of water and takes his time removing his jacket. The girls love it. He knows his audience. Tina likened him to the new Sinatra of Hip Hop. While I still give that title to Jay, Drake’s a shoe in for Dean Martin.
When the concert ended, we went backstage to say our goodbyes. After a shower and a brief moment of solitude, Drake graciously allowed us in. Save for his manager Oliver, and a few other loyal OVO players, the room was empty. He hugged Tina right away. They go way back. The love and respect is clear. She quickly reintroduced us. He hugged me. And then, well…nothing.
I was speechless. Me. Speechless. I can’t tell you the last time that happened. I’m a serial conversationalist, able to have the most meaningful exchanges with strangers, politicians, children, homeless subway dwellers and movie stars alike. This summer, I had a wonderful conversation with Oprah without hesitation. But here I was, face to face with Aubrey Drake Graham and I said nothing. We just sort of…looked at one another.
Sure, Drake is every bit as cute and charming in person as you’d expect Drake to be. He’s got natural warmth that cocktails well with his awkwardness, forming the perfect recipe for charisma. And in a sea of entitled, standoffish and lazy artists, it’s refreshing.
There was even plenty to talk about. He’d just shown all 7 of us the rough cut of the ‘Worst Behavior’ video. I’ve had the same three questions regarding Nothing Was The Same since its September release. And while I enjoyed his recent interview with Jihan Ghomeshi, I strongly disagreed with some of his thoughts on social media. Yet, I didn’t want to ask any of it. I just stood there and allowed myself to be a fan.
Blogs and social media have created a legion of pundits. We’ve become a league of under informed armchair quarterbacks all too ready to rate and second-guess instead of listening, digesting and simply saying thank you for the art that’s been shared with us. We’re entitled; as if we’re owed the art we’ve stopped really paying for. I too, am guilty of hyper-critiquing even the things I enjoy. But this year was eye opening for me. There’s a perspective and newfound objectivity that comes with being on television. Suddenly you’re privy to so many things that influence so many other things that the average person will never have to think about, much less understand. It gives you a better understanding of a world that by most standards makes no sense at all. It becomes harder to criticize when you’ve been unfairly criticized. I thought about this a lot this summer as I decided who this experience would teach me to become.
Most noticeably, I couldn’t ignore that we’ve devolved into an army unwilling to relax our cool long enough to just geek out and remember why any of this is so important to us in the first place. Forty-five minutes prior, this guy had me on my feet, eyes closed, palms in the air singing my heart out to ‘Too Much’. And it felt great. It reminded me of being in high school, getting concert tickets in exchange for grades, of waiting all month for the show to come and then talking about it with my friends for months after. Suddenly, Jaden’s hilarious VMA pose didn’t seem so ridiculous.
In hindsight, I probably looked hilariously crazy. My home girl had never seen me so quiet. But even at my most awkward, Drake handled my silence graciously, eventually asking if we could take a picture – which honestly hadn’t even occurred to me.
I believe firmly in the roundness of life, cycles that signal the end of current lessons and the beginning of new ones. I’ve had an amazing last eighteen months. But I’d become bored, with even the privileges. And then along came an artist I dug who actually delivered. Such a simple thing that has become so rare.
You made me nervous Drizzy. Thank you. I needed that.
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I want to make a cover of Expurgated from the Hotline 024 mod with Tricky, but the thing is that there is no good MIDI for Expurgated.
The one I found had some missing pieces from what I’d assume a glitch, and is also segmented, which while a part of the song, I want it to be combined into one for Tricky to sing.
Me: Thinking of Undertale Soulmate AUs…
Brain: Yandere Soulmate AU, The Yandere struggling with their desire over their soulmate…
Me:Nonononononono!!!!
Playing off the idea of Julien’s Kingdom coming to the zoo to either find him and bring him home, only to love the Zoo more than Madagascar.
Pancho: Would love all the things he could steal…I mean hoard.
Willie: Wouldn’t feel the worry of death from many things.
Horst: Would probably enjoy all the new beverage recipes and music to add to his dj life.
Mary Anne and the Foosa: Would be fed by the humans and probably not be as hostile to Julien’s people anymore.
Ted & Dorothy: Would love the culture of NYC and get along well with Marlene.
Hector: Would finally get the quiet he’d like from how big the city is and new people to yell at.
Abner & Becca: Would fit into the conspiracy theorists.
Butterfish: Would be able to get safer jobs.
Tammy & Todd: Much bigger competitions and opportunities for them to be famous.
Karl: Would get safer places for him and Chauncey to plan their schemes /dates.
Timo: Would love hanging out with Kowalski and they’d bounce their knowledge and ideas off one another.
Xixi: Would love it in NYC, what with the scandals, the drama, the clubs and more for her shows/vlogs.
Dr. S: Might get new literal lab rats for his medical testing practice.
Rob/Nurse Phantom: Would get the pampering an older lemur deserves and probably get special care which makes Julien jealous at times.
Crimson: Would flourish in New York, her charm and wit bringing the suitors to her doorstep & a very jealous Julien.
I just realized the plane in madagascar 2 was literally his whole Castle/Throne room that was sent to Africa…I wonder if his family/friends will be upset about that or worried…
Even if Julien returned to Madagascar…where would he live, his literal house is in pieces in Africa…
I just remembered that I have 22+ rp and side blogs…
If the pictures or asks start to become annoying please warn me, I tend to get over excited with new people oo;/
People freaking out over Daftpunk ending.
Then there’s me: These guys have given us most of their lives through music, they deserve to be happy and get to relax after all the hard work.
Writing Prompt:
▪︎ How do these men/women smell, taste like? (Your Choice of whom)
▪︎ What sort of scents do you picture them having?
▪︎ How would they taste after a deep kiss?
So I magically got an influx of followers last night, and today, I came home to several dozen sweet messages in my ask box <3
I love you all! Thank you for making my day :)
(Also, just an fyi, I try to answer any and all questions that come my way but if you’re on anon, I can’t really answer without spamming everyone with a q+a post… lol. So yus, if you have questions you want answered, don’t be afraid to ask them off anon. I won’t bite! Promise.)
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In other news, my new tablet arrived!
It’s a Yiynova MSP19U (mouthful, I know). It’s basically a Cintiq alternative for about ¼ the price.
There are pros… and there are cons…
I’ve only had this for a few hours though so these are just my first impressions. Click the “read more” cut if you’re curious:
So, pros:
- It makes it so much easier and faster to line art cause you don’t have to battle constantly with wobbly lines due to poor hand-eye coordination. It feels more natural seeing the picture in the same place as your pen.
- It makes it easier to color accurately (within the lines, in tight spaces, etc.)
- I can suddenly write typewriter-neat letters without any added effort (actually, with less effort).
- Basically, accuracy all around is easier and lines are smoother.
Cons:
Jittery pen like WOAH. So, I’m pretty sure this is just because of my computer’s terrible graphics processor since no one else pointed this out in their reviews. I’ll have to switch computers and see what happens.Nevermind! I fixed it!! :) Apparently you have to uninstall all other tablet drivers before installing this one cause it conflicts with other drivers. Now the pen is perfectly smooth and steady.- Parallax. Basically, the glass on which you’re drawing is so thick, your pen is several millimeters away from the actual screen causing the cursor to be a bit off center, like so:
^ Can you see the cursor? I was pressing my pen to the glass in this picture, if you can believe it. I’ve heard Cintiqs have the same problem but not as pronounced. (You do get used to this quite easily though)
- Poor screen resolution. Things start to pixellate ever so slightly when you stare at one spot too long or hard. This is something I can live with though.
- Whacky colors. So reviews all said this tablet had a bluish tint. Yes, it does but that’s easily fixable with some adjustments to the screen colors. What isn’t adjustable is how faded all the colors look. This makes it especially hard when you’re trying to color with lighter colors cause everything looks the same. I ended up looking at my computer screen and using the Yiynova like a regular tablet, which defeats its purpose.
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Well, I’ve only had this thing for one evening, like I said, so I’ll have to give it a few more go’s before I make my ultimatum. If I can fix the pen jitters, I’ll probably keep it since it really is useful and produces really nice, smooth lines with very little effort on my part. Yep, I’m keeping it. The colors, I can deal with. As long as the pen works fine, I’m all good. :)
Would I recommend this product to anyone though is the question. If you’re really looking for a Cintiq-esque tablet at an affordable price, this is definitely worth it. If you don’t really need one, I say stick with what you have. It’s not worth the investment unless you really need something Cintiq-esque.
And finally, a little Destiel WIP for you guys. (I’ll probably redo the lines since this was my first go at the Yiynova and the lines aren’t as nice as they could be…)
K. Enough rambling. Time for bed.
So, not only am I overwhelmed with work but I’m also incredibly art blocked. In the meantime, have some random origami for a change:
I present to you the tortoise and the hare… and the elephant and the dragon. Some messed up fairytale going on here.
In case anyone’s curious, here are links to the tutorials/models I used: elephant, turtle,dragon,rabbit, and crown.
Equally random, here are some lovely Hobbit moleskines that I just couldn’t resist! (under cut)
I’m kind of geek-spazzing over these and the beautiful original Tolkien fold-out maps included inside. Ahhhhhh!
You can find these by googling “Hobbit moleskine.” Just FYI, the brown one (top) is lined and the gray one with the red Smaug (bottom) is plain, aka. for sketching.
Ok I’ll stop spamming your dashes now. But just a warning to current followers, I may have to post one or two more non-art posts before I get back into the groove of art blogging again. I’m so art-blocked atm, it’s more like being art-clogged. Art-constipation. Yeah… :C
Been working on this comic thing during the easter holiday and oh boy it’s been nice to draw characters doing stuff when there’s like, context and dialogue and shit. Really digging this ”portraying a series of events” thing.
One entry of my comic diary that I decided to translate because it’s an Interesting Personal Development™ and I still don’ have anything else to post either.
I feel like I’m skirting the acceptable boundaries of what counts as “game design thesis” by writing about anatomical understanding as part of the rigging process and going into detail on stuff like fetlock joint mobility and muscles used for snarling, but they did tell us to choose a subject we’re into and this is what amuses me in rigging so
uhh
don’t mind if I do
Funny thing I’ve noticed. Even before the ‘rona I had kinda stopped keeping up with new animated movies and series - partially because they got somewhat inaccessible, but mostly because I just grew tired of kids/teen media. So, I started gravitating towards movies and series for older audiences - meaning live action, usually. I did find a lot of stuff to enjoy, no complaints there, but afterwards I rarely felt inspired to draw or fiddle with my own art and stuff.
Now, recently I’ve been binging a bunch of animation, Disney/Pixar movies I hadn’t seen yet, first season of Owl House, some new Pokemon series, She-Ra… And the curious thing is, that no matter if I liked them or not, they’ve left me ticklish to work on my own stuff.
Mildly bothersome, cause I’m still kinda bored by kid/teen story tropes, but I guess my drawing hand is into that stuff.
Random thesis musings, but I do find it endlessly amusing that “blend shape” can be shortened to “bs”, because now it just looks like I have a whole bunch of bullshit nodes everywhere.
