Y’all. I’m pregnant. 8 months pregnant. Today was a clusterfuck of a court day that was made infinitely worse by a new bailiff and a bunch of shit going wrong. It was also 100+° and humid AF.
Today I was snarky and short with my favorite judge. I was annoyed, I was anxious, I am pregnant and I was hungry. And I apologized. And she told me that everyone has a bad day now and then and she forgives me and to hang in there.
Today I am upset that I was rude to my favorite judge, but I am grateful that I was rude to her and not to a judge who would not have sympathized with my day or accepted my apology with such grace.
If you’re dating a german boy and he doesn’t treat you as good as his lawyer, cram your Apfelschorle into your purse and get out of there. He doesn’t deserve you.
Oh mein Gott zes is ein date with his lawyermännen
This is just what being a ReFa, PaFa (German paralegal) or law firm assistant is like
I know the answer is “copaganda” but seriously, if you’re going to have a villainous sleezeball lawyer character, why is it always a criminal defense attorney when there’s such a wide array of legal specialties to stereotype as assholes, such as:
biglaw corporate lawyers
district attorneys
anyone involved in sports law
asbestos defenders (yes, that is a real thing, and yes, they’re on the opposite side of the mesothelioma people)
biglaw corporate lawyers but very specifically the ones that work for oil/gas and coal companies
federalist society members
that guy who’s the only lawyer in his tiny-ass town so he can charge stupid high prices despite being shit at his job
administrative judges
tax attorneys actually you need to get a whole second degree specifically in tax law to be a tax lawyer and the tax code changes all the time and is the longest single statute so actually don’t be mean to tax attorneys, they’re honestly scary smart
after some commentary in the notes, I have been reminded that there are even more legal specialities to stereotype as assholes, including:
ICE attorneys
actually while we’re here let’s just say prosecutors in general
biglaw corporate lawyers but very specifically the ones that work for debt collectors
insurance defense (the ones who represent people individually on behalf of their insurance can stay but they’re on thin fucking ice)
ICE attorneys but in green this time
those copyright/intellectual property attorneys who go after individuals on behalf of giant corporations because of stuff like “illegal streaming”, pirating films or creating fan content
Unpopular opinion but literally not one person in the world should have their human rights violated
If one person’s rights can be waved away, so can yours
yes, even those people.
Fuck it, adding on: This is why it’s frustrating to see criminal defense lawyers getting a bad rep.
The right to a fair trial is a human right. In practice, a fair trial necessitates a lawyer. This means that even if somebody committed the worst crimes you could possibly imagine, they still deserve a lawyer.
Somebodyhas to defend them as a matter of human rights. As one of my professors said, way back in my first semester at uni: “Everybody deserves to have somebody in their corner.”
nb the source of criminal defense attorneys getting a bad rep is always, always copaganda. same with the incredibly bullshit narrative of “if you didn’t do anything wrong then why do you need a lawyer?” the purpose of both these terrible stupid pro-cop arguments are to deny you your legal rights.
Someone else said it very well here on this website:
A government whose people lose their rights once they become criminals has a very vested interest in making their critics criminals.
Lawyers of tumblr are you guys OK? The weirder things get in Dracula’s Castle the more lawyers pop out of the woodwork to say things like “yeah, that’s what being a new lawyer is like!”
I feel like if I’m ever in a lawyer’s office I should slip them a note telling them to blink twice if they’re being held hostage by a vampire.
I mean, no, but we’re never really okay, that’s just how law works.
So like when I was in private practice right out of school I worked for big banks and rich people and politicians so
Studying for my HR/salary calculations exam with my dad who used to work in HR his whole working life, and so far half of that is him being confused by my exercises because “no one calculates that themselves anymore, we’ve had computer programs doing that for ages” and the other half is him getting excited about it and just blazing through everything because it provides enrichment in the pensioner enclosure I guess, while I just sit there downing the third coffee of the day and hoping the caffeine sieves out and retains some pieces of the flood of information that just goes in one ear and out the other thanks to sleep deprivation. Love vocational college; 10/10 would not recommend.
