#remus lupin x reader smut
traitor | s.b.
not my gif!!!
warnings: angst, break up, cussing, self harm, i wrote this based off of my experience with self harm. reader discretion advised.
not proofread cause booooriiiiinnggggg also moony write a happy fanfic challenge <//3
read me: guys, i’m so sorry for not writing in so long. god, days have really flown. i was in an intense writers block, but yesterday i saw an interesting stranger whom without a word spoken already had my heart. i really hope i see them again soon, it sucks and it hurts to not even know their name, it’s frustrating that i can’t do anything about it. they’re perfect, i hope we meet again soon. i wrote a song about them because i felt things too strong to keep inside. i’m glad i started writing again, i missed it. now, traitor, a sirius black story:
(lyrics in purple)
brown guilty eyes and little white lies
yeah, i played dumb but I always knew
that you’d talk to her,
maybe did even worse, i kept quiet so I could keep you
guilty eyes with unspoken words looking back at me, making me feel small and stupid for acting like i never knew.
you talked to her behind my back, at first i just thought it was your friend since you clearly had no trouble in making them, but i didn’t believe you did even worse.
of course, like a child in love for the first time, which was what i was at the time, kept quiet.
i couldn’t lose you.
and ain’t it funny
how you ran to her
the second that we called it quits?
isn’t it funny? how when i finally got the courage to confront you about it, it ended in a big fight, you blaming me for not trusting you.
whenyouwe called it quits, the person who brought you comfort was her. not your friends, clearly not me, her.
and ain’t it funny
how you said you were friends?
now it sure as hell don’t look like it.
when i even thought about bringing it up, or stared too long, you said you were friends. yet every time i asked you how your day was, or what was on your mind, you brought her up.
the way you have your arm around her, or the loving look you have on your face when she’s around. i don’t blame you, how couldn’t you? her dark brown eyes, her smooth dark skin, her long fluffy hair, there was nothing not to love.
you betrayed me
and i know that you’ll never feel sorry
for the way i hurt
i wonder if you remember our promise, we would be together through thick and thin, together forever. that went to shit.
the way you love her will never make you feel sorry for all the restless nights i spent, or the cuts scattered on my thighs, the eye bags that became something normal for me to have. you never payed it any mind.
loved you at your worst
but that didn’t matter
when you needed someone, i was always there. dropped anything, important or not, so you could have a shoulder to cry on. did the impossible to make you feel alright.
but none of the mattered.
it took you two weeks
to go off and date her
guess you didn’t cheat
but you’re still a traitor
it only only took two weeks to hear everywhere how you were with her.
how much you loved her.
and almost nothing to see you guys attached to the hip, like we once were.
you didn’t cheat, you stayed there with me but in the end were never really present.
but you still betrayed me, told me cheap lies to which i was too in love to not believe.
now you bring her around
just to shut me down
show her off like she’s a new trophy
it’s like everywhere i go, you’re magically there, with her.
so many days ruined and nights spent crying because of your new trophy.
and i know if you were true
there’s no damn way that you
could fall in love with somebody that quickly
all the ‘i love you’s and ‘i’ll never leave you’ went to shit.
if you loved me as much as you told me the night you broke my heart, there’s no way or explanation on how you lover her so much. it’s been two weeks, sirius, two weeks.
ain’t it funny
all the twisted games
all the questions you used to avoid?
so all the “baby, she’s nobody” “don’t worry about it hun” “don’t say that” “i love you, not her” were all lies, love really blinded me and fucked me up this time.
“siri, who’s that girl you’re always hanging out with?”
“she’s nobody”
“oh”
“what’s her name?”
“it doesn’t matter y/n! i’m tired. i’m gonna sleep.”
really? she doesn’t seem like a nobody now.
remember i brought her up
and you told me i was paranoid
“y/n! you’re just paranoid. just because you’ve had shitty partners doesn’t mean i am. stop being paranoid, it’s annoying.” that hit low. he was so cruel weeks prior to the breakup, how didn’t i see it coming.
god, i wish that you had thought this through
before i went and fell in love with you
the red lines on my thigh appear from the night before. being just a reminder of how i can’t feel anything, my favorite things go unnoticed now. you broke me. i wish you had thought it through before you let me fall in love with you
don’t you dare forget about the way
you betrayed me
you really fucked me up. i let a bunch of things and red flags go “unnoticed”. I’ve tried my best to be as supportive for you.
one thing i promised myself because of the shred of dignity i have left, is how i swear to god i wont let you forget about how you betrayed me.
—
a/n: i hope you guys find this story to your liking, it’s the first thing i’ve wrote in a while and i don’t know how to feel about it. if you could, please tell me what you thought about it. thank you :) -moony<3
enough for you ll / r.l.
not my gif!!
SOUR masterlist|enough for you, part one
warnings: angst, remus realizing things, not proof read.
(also a few t.A.T.u lyrics lol)
a/n: this ones kinda short bc there’s not rlly a lot of ways to end this lol, i’m sorry
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“loved you more than i’d ever loved myself. i gave up everything. but you seem to have loved her.”
is this really how they felt? fuck, i never meant to hurt them. i’ve looked everywhere, everywhere. even the special tree they went to when they had to think or just cry. i went to their dorm and there was nothing there. i lost them.
i mean, it’s almost the end of the year right? maybe they went home early? no, they wouldn’t. hogwarts has always been their escape, right??
all the things she said, running through my head, they’re running through my head. nothing comes up. i wish i could apologize.
*******************************************************
have i lost my mind? i always imagine them, imagine them walking around, i miss you y/n. please come back.
*time skip bc i don’t feel like writing abt his summer lol*
I’m at the train station. i broke up with my girlfriend because i just can’t bare the thought of y/n being upset. i’m gonna make things right. they’re my everything.
i saw a notebook fall in front of me, i picked it up and went to give it back to its owner. i was too wrapped up in my own thoughts that i didn’t even see a figure in front of me, talking to somebody.
“hey is this yours? it fell.”
they turn around, they look different. longer hair, and it had little purple streaks in it. it looked charming.
“y/n..” i saw them shift uncomfortably “oh, thanks.”
they started speed walking away and i tried to stop them, saying “y/n can we please talk? i want to apologize” “you don’t have to, i’m over it. have a good day remus” that tone was like a shot to the heart.
i spent months, months.trying to get them back. they moved on. there’s nothing i can do about it, i lost them.
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i have no clue how asks or submits work but if u want to request a one shot or something pls do i saw one person make like some type of reply on my blog but i’m not sure how they work lolll
Disclaimer:This blog is strictly 18+, minors please do not interact as that is not something I am comfortable with. Thank you!
Pairing: Remus Lupin x female reader
Summary: You like reading every sort of genre there is to romance. From angst to smut. Remus uncovers this little secret of yours and makes a move which he has been wanting to make for a long time.
Warning: Angst? – idk if it is lol, fluff – its Remus, there’s always fluff with him, smut theme – minors dni.
part two
“Until the next meeting, I suggest those without an assigned mission have a rest. We don’t know what to expect in this dark time and need everyone well rested and prepared if anything happens.” Dumbledore glances to everyone in the room as he concludes the meeting for the day.
The meeting was held at Grimmauld Place. Sirius had happily welcomed the order to hold meetings here as it was not known to many.
“I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t be able to rest when chaos could happen at any moment.” Bill said nudging your shoulder, you nodded your head in agreeance.
Everyone woke up from there seats and left the room. Harry, Ron, Hermione, and the others were upstairs – Dumbledore didn’t want to concern Harry more than he already was.
As you made your way out of the room and to the livingroom, with Bill following closely behind, you failed to notice the lingering gaze of Remus.
When your thoughts dawdle to him, you think of a very strong man who has lived a difficult life. Remus was kind, interesting and always managed to make those around him happy.
You admired him very much, and it was only Sirius who could recognize this admiration as something else. You were so oblivious to your own feelings for him that it made Sirius wonder how you were the most skilled witch he had known.
“Y/n dear, would you please help me with laying the table. It seems the children are too caught up in seeing one another.”
“Sure, no problem.” You replied kindly.
Excusing yourself from the livingroom, you walked down the narrow hallway which led to the kitchen and was about to enter when you bumped into a tall figure.
“Pardon me.” You apologized and looked up, meeting the eyes of Remus.
“My fault, it’s okay.” He said gently resting his hands on your shoulders to steady you.
You smiled at him nervously before slipping into the kitchen. You briefly looked over your shoulder and saw that he was still watching you.
A kind smile on his lips, you gave him a tight-lipped smile before going to Molly and letting her hand you the many plates to set on the table.
While it may make sense to just use a spell to set the table, you took comfort in the domesticity of small household tasks. It reminded you of home.
“Dinner is ready everyone!” Molly’s booming voice echoed in the large house.
Soon you heard the hurried footsteps of Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny. Fred and George, who recently become of age to perform magic out of Hogwarts, just appeared beside a startled Molly.
“One of these fine days I’m going to be the mother of 5 children instead of 7.” She grumbled.
“I agree mum. I personally vote for Ron and Bill to be put up for adoption.” Fred said nonchalantly.
Ron sent him a glare, while Bill came in laughing at the fact that he was very much over the age to be put up for adoption.
Soon everyone was at the table. Harry sat next to Sirius, telling him all about what has been going on in his life, Ginny and Hermione were gossiping, Ron was eating, and the twins were discussing what spells they wanted to try out later.
Bill was sat beside you, speaking very lowly about Fleur and how she is so eager to meet his family, when funnily enough, they didn’t even know he was seeing her.
“I don’t know how to introduce her to them… you know how they can be.” He said with a sad smile.
You understood him, Molly had wanted him to end up with Tonks, who was too busy focusing on her own career to worry about settling down.
You, Bill, and Tonks were all the same age, 24 years old, and attended Hogwarts together.
“If you feel your relationship with her is strong, then I think you should introduce her to them. From what you tell me, Fleur seems like an amazing person.” You give him a reassuring smile.
All he could talk about was her, so he most definitely felt that their relationship was strong.
He took your hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze as a way to thank you.
The small gesture didn’t go unnoticed by Remus. He had been watching you since dinner had begun.
Remus viewed you as a fire to be reckoned with. While you may seem like the kindest witch in the world, you wouldn’t hesitate to put someone in their place if they did anything wrong to you or someone you cared about.
He bared witness to this when you and he accompanied Mad eye and Tonks on a mission to bring Sirius to safety from dementors.
After dinner, you had helped clear the table and clean up for the night.
It was already late and the majority of everyone had gone to bed since the next day was going to be a long one.
“Do you need help with that?” Remus’ voice spoke from behind you.
You had been trying to put away a plate which was kept in a very high place.
“Yes, please.” You reply softly.
You were about to move out of the way when his hand was placed on the counter in front of you, trapping you between him and the counter. As his other hand reached up to put the plate in its place, you felt his chest briefly brush against your back.
“You know… for a witch you sure do things in a very muggle way.” His voice was soft as he spoke.
“Before becoming a witch, this was my normal.Doing things manually.” You said with a smile.
You were born to a muggle family and got the letter every 11-year-old dreamed of receiving. Your life changed after that, but not everythingchanged.
“… besides, we could all use a little normalcy around here.” You said turning around to face him. He took a step back, otherwise your face would literally have been pressed into his chest.
“That’s true… I’ve been meaning to ask you more about the muggle books you recommended to me-“
“Remus, you’re needed in the livingroom!!” Sirius voice called from down the hallway.
“We can talk about this later?” He asked, to which you nodded.
You and Remus had one thing in common, you both enjoyed reading. While he may have been older than you, you two got along like a house on fire when it came to books. Which is why in between breaks from missions you two would recommend books to one another.
He would tell you about magical books, while you would tell him about muggle books.
You stood there for a moment, processing what happened. It was a normal interaction, but the body language you two had exchanged with one another made your heart speed up and your thoughts roam wildly.
“Calm down y/n, he was just helping you with plates.” You told yourself before exiting the kitchen to join whoever was awake in the livingroom.
Bill was sat with Fred and George discussing a few things while Sirius and Remus were conversing quietly.
Remus’ eyes met yours briefly before his attention was brought back to Sirius’.
You were about to excuse yourself to go and prepare for bed before Bill noticed you and motioned you over.
“I was summoned.” You joked and sat beside him.
“Yes, I need you to convince these two to continue attending Hogwarts before wanting to join the order.”
Your eyes widened at his statement. Fred and George were still too young to be involved in such business. Even if you were just a few years older than them, you still looked to them as children.
“Your choice in wanting to join is very honorary, but it’s too dangerous right now. You just started to perform magic out of school, there’s still so much more for you to learn at Hogwarts. You can join at the right time, it’s just not right now.” You say with a sad smile.
You could understand their choice, they watched their parents work endlessly and contribute so much of effort into the order, but the last thing Arthur and Molly would want was to put any of their children in harm’s way.
They both looked upset but understood where you were coming from.
Bill, Fred, and George soon decided to go to bed as it was already late.
“I’ll be doing the same as them. Tomorrows a long day for us all. Goodnight.” You say to Sirius and Remus.
“Goodnight y/n.” Sirius waved enthusiastically. Remus lightly pinched him, which made him slightly jump.
“Goodnight.” Remus said with a smile.
You had been tossing and turning for the last hour.
Sleep seemed miles away for you at this point. You had experienced many nights where you weren’t able to sleep and instead stayed up reading, which is what you resorted to now.
You were a hopeless romantic when it came to books. Love for you always seemed like a fantasy thanks to the books you read. Remus noticed this when all the books you recommended him was romance based. Although none of them was quite like the one you were reading now.
“I think it would be better if you left.” He whispered only for her to hear.
“Why should I? Why must I deprave us both from what we both crave the most?” Tears welled up in her eyes as she watched him turn his back to her.
A chocked sob left her lips, which made him turn around and look at her.
“It’s not what you want darling-“
“How do you know what I want, or what is good for me? There isn’t anything except you that is preventing this. For the both of us.” She said on stuttered words.
His eyes watched her, he could see the tears falling down her cheeks and the sadness in her eyes. As he watched her, an emotion of realisation washed over her.
“Unless… unless you don’t want me. Oh my god, I didn’t even think of that. I’m so sorry.” She began to take steps back and away from him.
His eyes widened at her words, and he stepped forward and reached out for her.
“No, that is anything but what I feel… your life would be much better without me in it. I’ve already caused you too much pain.”
A knock at the door took your attention away from your book.
“Come in.” You called out softly.
Remus’ golden-brown eyes peered from behind your door, “I hope I’m not disturbing you. I saw your room light on while I was on my way to bed and wanted to check in.”
“You’re not disturbing anything at all, I was just reading a book since I couldn’t sleep.” You explained holding up the book.
“What book are you reading?” He said stepping into the room, he closed the door behind him.
You sat up straighter when he leaned against the door and waited for your explanation.
“Its another romance novel, about two people who can’t be together… at least that’s what I’ve collected from what I’ve read so far.” You gave him a tight-lipped smile, leaving out the fact that the book had some other scenes which you were too shy to mention.
“Seems interesting, what’s it called and who wrote it?” He asked curiously.
Oof.
“Its called ‘the ghost of you’ by Zenith.” You answer hesitantly. (haha, see what I did there?)
“I’ll add it to my book list… ” He said leaning off the door and moving to open it, “I don’t want to keep you up any longer. Goodnight.”
He stood in the doorway smiling at you.
“Goodnight, Remus.” You said back politely.
The next day was a rush. The Weasley’s were taking their children, along with Hermione and Harry to Platform 9 and 3 quarters.
After a heart felt conversation between Sirius and Harry. You and Remus went back to Grimmauld place to take care of a few things. Bill went to visit Fleur as it had been quite some time since she saw him.
“I suppose now we just do as Dumbledore said and ‘relax’.” You said taking a seat on the sofa.
“I suppose so… although I can’t exactly relax with the full moon approaching.” He said jokingly.
You smiled at his attempt of a joke but knew deep down that the next few days would be difficult for him.
“Where are you going to be during the full moon?”
“There’s a cottage not far from here that no one goes to. Dumbledore found it and said I could use it whenever I needed.” He stated.
Remus had to go through a lot of full moons alone. When you would try to say you’d accompany him, he would insist you didn’t as he didn’t want to put you in harms way.
“Are you going to be alone again? You know I have no problem keeping you company-“
“I appreciate it y/n, but like I said, I prefer to keep you safe. It’s too dangerous, he is too dangerous.” He said leaning his head on the back of the couch and looking up at the ceiling.
“I know Remus, but I don’t like you going through this alone. You have me, Sirius and so many other to help you.” You sighed.
“Everyone has bigger worries at the moment.” He turned his head slightly to look at you.
“Not me, I worry about you.” You said honestly.
A smile made its way to his lips, “That’s the thing about you, I admire how you worry about others.”
A silence embraced the two of you.
There was no one else in the house, but you and Remus. The gaze his eyes held on you was intense and had so much of emotion.
“You’ve got really pretty eyes.” He said reaching his hand over and tucking a stray lock of hair behind your ear.
Butterflies.
“So do you.” You said ever so softly.
The next day Remus had taken it upon himself to loosen up a bit, explore and be as carefree as his life would allow him to be.
He found himself at a familiar bookstore which he frequently visited at one stage. He was in search of a specific book. One that you had recently mentioned to him.
A worker at the store assisted him and found it, “Thank you so much.” He said with a smile and went to sit and read a bit of it.
Before Remus knew it, about 2 hours had passed by and he had read quite a few chapters of the book. As those 2 hours passed by, Remus grew flustered by the words that described very explicit scenes to him.
He had always known that this sort of books existed, but he never knew that youwould be one to read it.
When he realised how much time had passed by, he went to purchase the book and make his way back to Grimmauld place.
As soon as he stepped in through the front door, he could hear the voices of Arthur and Sirius coming from the livingroom. He caught sight of you, Molly and Bill in the kitchen preparing some dinner.
“Remus, I was wondering where you disappeared to.” Sirius’ voice brought your attention to the hallway where you briefly made eye contact with Remus who smiled at you.
His small gesture from the previous day brought emotions you felt only when you read about romance you craved.
“I was just at a bookstore and got lost in time while reading.” You heard him explain to Sirius.
Soon he disappeared into the livingroom with Arthur and Sirius.
“Be careful, you might drool from how hungrily you’re looking at him.” Bill teased as he passed by you.
You flipped him off, which earned a chuckle from him.
“After tonight, I’m going to leave for a few days since the full moon is approaching.” Remus explained as you all sat at and ate dinner.
You perked up at his words and watched as he avoided eye contact.
“I’m coming with you this time; it’ll be like the old days.” Sirius stated.
Remus and Sirius shared a knowing smile with one another. It was no lie that Sirius, James, and Peter would help Remus with his transformations.
You unknowingly released a bit of a loud sigh, which had everyone’s eyes on you.
“Y/n dear, are you okay?” Molly asked concerned.
“Just fine, a little tired from the passed few days.” You quickly explained.
Everyone’s attention was diverted to Sirius who went on to explain some of the days he experienced at Hogwarts.
Bill, who had been sitting next to you, placed his hand on your wrist and silently asked if you were okay, you assured him that you were. Remus had watched the small interaction, feeling concerned at the unsureness in your eyes.
As soon as you were done eating, you excused yourself and made your way to your room.
You knew you should respect Remus’ wishes to not come along with him, but you couldn’t help but worry about him having to go through so much alone. Even with Sirius being there. You saw the damage that was done to him when they first reunited.
Just as you changed into your nightdress, someone knocked at your door. Having a feeling that it maybe Bill, you opened the door with saying, “I told you I’m fine Bill. I’m just tire-“
There stood Remus with his hands in his pocket.
“Hi.” He said amused.
“Hey.” You said slightly embarrassed.
“I… uh- I noticed you weren’t yourself during dinner and came to check on you.” He said matter of fact.
“I’m perfectly fine, just a bit tired.”
He looked at you suspiciously, waiting for you to explain properly because he knew you weren’t being truthful.
“Come in.” You gave in and moved a bit so he could walk inside your room.
He stood aside as you closed the door and walked past him to sit on the bed.
“I don’t want you to be upset, and I know it’s not my place but I’m not happy with you being alone during this full moon. Especially with just coming off from a tiresome mission.” You explained not meeting his eyes.
He smiled at your concern for him.
“I’m not upset. You’ve always expressed your concern, but I won’t be alone this time.” He assured you.
“I know, but Iwant to be there for you.” You said a bit frustratedly.
He grew silent at your words. Remus didn’t know what to say.
“Its too dangerous darling.” He said sadly.
You knew he wasn’t going to give in.
“Promise me you’ll be careful and the moment you need me, you’ll send Sirius to get me.” You said trying to negotiate.
“You have my word.” He took your hand in his and gave it a squeeze.
Wanting to make light of the situation you decided to ask him, “So, I heard you telling Sirius to a bookstore. What book did you get?”
Now this would be interesting, was the first thing that crossed Remus’ mind.
“The one you said you were reading the other night. I’m already about halfway through it.”
Your eye darted to his and you visibly grew tense, “Is that so? What do you think about it?” You tried to play it off cool, like there wasn’t a war going on in your mind.
Nobody knew you read books like that, especially the fact that you liked what you read.
“Very interesting, the details in the book are impeccable. I don’t believe I’ve come across quite such a book.”
He was smiling at you almost on the verge of laughing.
You sigh and know you must explain yourself; you were caught red handed.
“I know its not the usual book you’d think of me reading-“
“Y/n, its okay. You don’t have to explain. There’s no shame in enjoying such things.” He said turning his back to you.
“Not when you haven’t exactly experienced it.” You mutter softly, your eyes widened once you realised, he heard what you said.
He stopped in the middle of his pacing and turned his head to look at you.
“Haven’t experience it?” He questioned.
You wish the ground would open and swallow you whole. It would be much better than exposing the fact you had no sexual experience but enjoyed every moment in what you had recently been reading.
“I haven’t done it before.” You say, trying to play it off cool.
Remus was shocked at your words. To him it was shocking that no one had come along and made you feel enough love to experience such a beautiful thing.
When he saw that you had grown a bit tense from what was being said, he knew he had to ease it and not make you feel guilty about it.
“There’s nothing wrong with that, everyone takes their own time with things.” He assured you, which had you feeling slightly better.
“I know, I guess the only romance I’ve been experiencing is what I read in books.” You joke.
He could see that you were avoiding eye contact, which he didn’t like. You had beautiful eyes which he liked looking at when you spoke to him. He stepped forward and reached up so that he could make you look up at him.
“You deserve to experience a love that could only be found in books.” He said with a genuine smile.
His words brought you happiness. No one had said something like to you. You’d never been in an actual relationship before, there was no time for that when there was so much going on around you.
“You do as well Remus. You deserve a love which makes you happy about who you are. Someone who accepts you for all of you.”
The look in your eyes at that point made something snap in Remus, in that moment he knew what he felt for you was strong, and he knew you reciprocated those feelings.
Which is why he leaned down and connected your lips.
The shock of it took a second to sink in, but the moment it did, you began to kiss him back. Once you did, Remus pulled you closer to him and placed his hand around your neck.
You moaned at the feeling of his hand around your neck, which only encouraged Remus further.
His hand roamed down your body and pushed you on the bed, he then placed himself between your legs and continued to kiss you.
Remus could feel himself growing feral for you, which is why he had to pull away in order to collect his thoughts.
“What’s wrong?” You asked confused.
“I just needed a moment.” He said taking in a deep breath.
“Is something wrong?”
Your brows began to furrow, and you started to feel nervous. Remus could tell you were feeling embarrassed.
“It’s nothing wrong with you darling. With the full moon nearing, my urges become stronger than usual. Having you like this isn’t making that easy.” He chuckled.
Now you were nervous for another reason.
“Oh, I didn’t know that happened.” You said surprised.
“Yeah, besides I want you to have a good first experience, not something that just happened in the moment. You deserve more than that.” Remus said caressing your face.
