Hey, guys…….

I honestly feel like dudes want big dicks to impress other dudes because many of the women (and persons with vulvas) I talk to prefer average sized penises, actively avoid larger penises, and rarely orgasm from penetration. I also think men think that if they have a large penis, then that’s all they need and they don’t have to hone OTHER skills that makes sex pleasurable for women (and persons with vulvas). So a couple of things:

Don’t be a one-trick pony. Just having a large penis isn’t going to cut it. Plus each vulva is like a puzzle. They respond differently to different stimulus. So learn to use your fingers, your mouth, get over your egos and invest in some toys. Have a well rounded repertoire of ways to please.

Being comfortable with your body and accepting what you have to work with goes a long way to helping you have confidence in bed.

Not all of us want you to last forever. There IS such a thing as taking too long and I personally don’t like being pounded non-stop for an indefinite period of time. Switch it up. Foreplay is your friend.

Porn is NOT a good resource for learning how to get better at sex. It’s largely based on men’s fantasies about sex and not the realities of sex. Use it to get off if you must but I wouldn’t emulate it.

The G-Spot is generally only about two to three inches into the vaginal canal. It is NOT located where the cervix is. Hitting the cervix may feel good for YOU but it may not feel good for your partner. There are some vulvas that LOVE cervical stimulation, however, so it’s good to ask. Another note is that cervical position fluctuates throughout the month so there may be times where you can go a little deeper and times where you have to stay a little shallower. Pay attention.

Now get out there and start GIVING pleasurable sex not just HAVING pleasurable sex. The more you know. Thank you for “cumming” to my TED Talk.

*Edited to be more trans-inclusive. Not at persons with vulvas are women*