Indeed, sex

Has an ingenuous way

Of reminding me

That I likely will not

Be seeing you

Tomorrow..

Maileta /// coming and going

In darkness,

I would unravel my skin

Like soiled bandages

To remove the moments prior.

In daylight,

I would be painfully naked

Like boiled flesh

To replace the moments after,

With a darker complexion.

Yet, a lighter expression;

Closed eyes

And a pained smile.

Maileta /// いたい。

It seems as though

The intimacy I long for dearly

Will come at a price.

The sweetness between pretty legs

In exchange

For the fulfillment

Of that empty space

Beside me.

Maileta /// quid pro quo, it seems

Can physical attraction

Breed anything good?

Besides concupiscence?

Maileta /// unrequited lechery

Is this a love letter or a eulogy?

Why don’t I feel it anymore when other people’s eyes are upon me?

I used to experience desire so vividly

And now it’s

I’m too tired
I’m not in the mood
I guess I’m not feeling so good

And that’s on the good days

Because on the bad nights its

You’re too fat
No one wants to see that
I wouldn’t fuck you
Even if I had the chance

And I say these things to myself in an effort
To justify and understand his want
or lack thereof

How he can just fall asleep next to me
Whisper “goodnight baby”
and his dick isn’t pulsing or any wiser
Of the rhythm between my own thighs

He just lays there and doesn’t realize

And even if he did

He’d probably just shut his eyes.

I should’ve stayed with him tonight. I should’ve let him put his hands in my hair and dig his nails into my back. I should’ve pressed my hip bones against him and took out all my anger with my teeth in his shoulder. I should’ve almost said your name and collapsed into an unfamiliar bed. But instead I lay awake in mine, drinking up the poison you left for me instead.

“I have resolved myself-I can no longer lick old wounds; despite how they make me howl.”

-Canine-

@lovergirlpoems

hehehehhhh. ENRIQUEI GIELSSEIAS! (ONE LOE ONE LOVE ) ???????????? ??????? ??????????????? ?????? ? ??. ???? ?? ???? ?? ?? ?? ????? (???????? ??? ?? ? asshole)?. ?? ???? ????? ?? ????? ?? ?. ?? ???? ???? ??? ???? ???  ???> BAILANDOOOOO (bailandoooo) BAILANDOOOOO (balaindoooo) ????? ???? ?? ???? ? ?(?????? ?? ? ) BaALAINDOOOOO (BALAILONDo ) (ABALDOONOOOOO o(BAILONDO) ?? ???? ?? ?? ???? ? ? ?? ?? ??? ?? ?? ? . ? ?? ??  ??? ??? ? ?tequila ? ?? ?? ??? ? ?? ?? ????? ?? (? ???? ?????  ??? ) ????? ????? ? (???? ?? ?? ?) ? ?? ?????? ?????? (?????? ) ???????? (??????????) ???????? ? ??????? ????????? ????????? @????????? (??????) (?????? ??? (????????) ??????????? ?????????? ???????? ????????? ??????????? (ohwhoohohohhohhhhh, ohhowohhhhhhhh, ohwohhohhhhhhhhhh, ohwhohohhhhhhhhhhh) ????????????????? ?????? (?????????) ???????????????? ????? (?????????? assole) ???????????? (wooo) ???????? ??????????????? BAILANDOOOOOO (Bailodnooooo) BAKIDLONOOOOO (baildnooooo) ???????? ????????? ?( ????????? ) BAILANDOOOOOO (BAILDNO) bAILNADOOOOOOOO (BAILOANDO) ???????????????????? ??? ??? ?? ? ???????? ??? ???????????tequila ??????????? ????????? (????????) ???????????? (?????????) ??????????? ??????????????? ????????????? ??????????? ?????? (??????? ) ??????? (?????????) ????????????? ?????????? ???????????? ????????? ???????????? (?????????) ????????? (?????????) ?????????? ???????????V???????????  ?????? ????????? (ojhowhhohohhhhh, ohwhohohhhhhh, ohhohhhhhhhhh, ohoohohohhhh, ohwohwohhhhhhhhhhh , ohhohhoohhhhhhhhh, ohhohhohhhhhhhh, ohhhhhhhwohhohhh, ohhohhhhhhh )? ?????????? (ohhohhohohh ?>??????????? (ohhohohohhho) ????????? (ohhowhowhohohh)

Hey, guys…….

I honestly feel like dudes want big dicks to impress other dudes because many of the women (and persons with vulvas) I talk to prefer average sized penises, actively avoid larger penises, and rarely orgasm from penetration. I also think men think that if they have a large penis, then that’s all they need and they don’t have to hone OTHER skills that makes sex pleasurable for women (and persons with vulvas). So a couple of things:

Don’t be a one-trick pony. Just having a large penis isn’t going to cut it. Plus each vulva is like a puzzle. They respond differently to different stimulus. So learn to use your fingers, your mouth, get over your egos and invest in some toys. Have a well rounded repertoire of ways to please.

Being comfortable with your body and accepting what you have to work with goes a long way to helping you have confidence in bed.

Not all of us want you to last forever. There IS such a thing as taking too long and I personally don’t like being pounded non-stop for an indefinite period of time. Switch it up. Foreplay is your friend.

Porn is NOT a good resource for learning how to get better at sex. It’s largely based on men’s fantasies about sex and not the realities of sex. Use it to get off if you must but I wouldn’t emulate it.

The G-Spot is generally only about two to three inches into the vaginal canal. It is NOT located where the cervix is. Hitting the cervix may feel good for YOU but it may not feel good for your partner. There are some vulvas that LOVE cervical stimulation, however, so it’s good to ask. Another note is that cervical position fluctuates throughout the month so there may be times where you can go a little deeper and times where you have to stay a little shallower. Pay attention.

Now get out there and start GIVING pleasurable sex not just HAVING pleasurable sex. The more you know. Thank you for “cumming” to my TED Talk.

*Edited to be more trans-inclusive. Not at persons with vulvas are women*

“He Only Wants Her For Sex”

So I may not articulate this well but I’ll try. There is something I have noticed in my polyam journey in relationships comprised of a man and a woman that date separately. The woman may be dating and her husband/nesting or “primary” partner will feel a way if she is engaging a man that he feels “only wants her for sex”. Often times, this comes from a place of love and protection, I get. They don’t want to see their partners hurt by fuck boys. They see immense value in their partner and want others to see that, too. I often imagine, too, that for men, watching your woman partner date men can be a whole new way to see the bullshit that women deal with from men.

The trap is that this can have a undertone of being paternalistic to your partner. Your woman partners are adults and capable of making their own choices about whom they engage. One of the hardest things to deal with in non-monogamy is letting your partners learn their own lessons when it comes to dating and relating.

I also think that sometimes….and this one might smart a bit…..it has an air of “I didn’t treat her like that. I valued her and saw her as more than just sex and here this dude comes along and just gets to fuck her without dealing with all the other stuff that I deal with.” It’s a little judgmental. Like, yeah, you can feel a way about dude for just wanting your lady for sex but if you’re a “good dude” who doesn’t treat women like that, what does it matter if there are other men that do? You being good is about you and not them. And she may WANT just sex from him. That may be ok for her. I think sometimes that it can result in you subconsciously devaluing your partner a little if you are not careful. The ills of slut-shaming misogyny are deep-rooted and not always visible to the naked eye within ourselves.

Remember, you have the relationship that you CHOSE to have with your partner. If you wanted just sex from her, you could have asked for that. If you saw more “value” in her, then that’s what you wanted. Focus on what YOU want to have with her and let her deal with what she wants to have with others.

I hope this isn’t harsh because it’s not intended to be. It’s just something I have noticed considerably and wanted to highlight. Just like I hear women say “It’s not fair that I have to wash his socks and pick his pants up off the floor meanwhile his other partners get to just enjoy him.”, I feel like this is the other side of that.

Partner Passport

Polyam Peeps! There’s a phenomenon I have to watch out for within myself that I like to call a “partner passport” or “partner Pokémon” (gotta catch ‘em all). It’s where you move through non-monogamy collecting partner experiences or “stamps” for all the different types of partners you’ve visited. So you gotta get your “black” stamp, your “lesbian” stamp, your “stud/MOC” stamp, your “Asian” stamp, etc. There’s nothing wrong with finding a particular demographic of person desirable but engaging someone based on the sole reason that they are one thing or another reduces them to a singular part of their identity instead of treating them like a whole ass complex human being. It objectifies and fetishizes them. I have to make sure I’m outchea treating folks like whole human beings same like I want to be treated.