Still thinking about the Revue Starlight movie.

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And here we go, more art for my fic “Not a date”. Read the final chapter now on ao3.

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First drawing of 2022 is mayakuro, which is probably a surprise to no one.

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Guess who decided to write and draw a small mayakuro Christmas thing just a few days ago?

Happy holidays everyone!

Read about Maya being insufferable on their Christmas date on ao3

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Have some christmas mayakuro

Nomoto Hotaru interview for -The LIVE Edel- Delight in Monthly Bushiroad March 2022 (Eng)

In commemoration of the Starira stage play! A special interview with Nomoto Hotaru who plays Yukishiro Akira

From here on, we will present an interview with Nomoto Hotaru that was recorded just before the play’s performances began. Active in Starira and on stage as the leader of the “Edels”, Nomoto-san spoke all about Siegfeld.

What Nomoto Hotaru thinks is Siegfeld’s charm

——First, please tell us what you think Siegfeld Institute of Music’s charm is.

Nomoto: I would say it’s the merit-based system and hands-off policy. My first impression was that it’s a very strict school with strict rules, but as I learned more and more about Siegfeld as a school, I came to understand that it’s actually a school with a lot of freedom. On top of its foundational value of excellence, there is no good or evil, and instead everyone’s individuality is respected. I think that’s its charm.

——Is your current impression of Yukishiro Akira any different from your first impression of her?

Nomoto:At first, she seemed too perfect, and I felt very distant from her. Because she’s a genius stage girl, and says things like “I will make no compromise” at every chance she gets, for example. But recently I’ve come to think, “This girl is lacking in some pretty incredible areas, huh…?”. When it comes to things unrelated to the stage, she’s a rather normal (?) girl. Once I came to know that side of her, I thought she was really cute, and now she’s an endearing existence to me.

⬆ Akira may appear perfect at first glance, but in a 1-panel comic in “Starira”, her unexpected weakness comes to light…

——What are your impressions of the four other “Edels”? Please tell us about both the characters and the actresses.

Nomoto:First is Otori Michiru. She truly is Akira’s right hand. No, maybe both hands? I think she’s the only one who will genuinely get angry at Akira. She’s the scariest when she gets angry, but really, she may be the most loving stage girl. Ozaki Yuka-san, who plays that sort of Michiru, is a cute and cool person. She has her own well-defined style and is someone who will take on a challenge for anything. She’s for sure the number one “good woman” in Siegfeld, I think.

Liu Mei Fan rushes headlong into things and is high-spirited. The way she doesn’t care how she appears to others when she aims for a goal and her straight and honest gaze are very dazzling to me. Takeuchi Yume-san, who plays Mei Fan, is actually the member that I’ve known for the longest. When we see each other, we’re always just joking around and out of breath because we’re playing around too much. I’d like her to have mercy on me for once (laughs). That’s what Yume’s like, but I really love her singing voice.

Tsuruhime Yachiyo is a noble cat-like girl! She’s a girl who easily slips off and runs away when you try to get down to her core. I think she might be the most like a high school girl out of the “Edels”. I respect a lot of things about her actress, Kudo Haruka-san, such as her approach to her work. On “Edel Radio”, which the two of us host, I’m always relying on her, so I promised, “On the stage, I’ll try my best to lead you”!

And then Yumeoji Shiori. She’s a girl who can truly be called the “nation’s little sister”. She has everything that I don’t have, and I’m grateful simply for the fact that she exists. She’s that sort of a stage girl. Tono Hikaru-san, who plays Shiori, is an incredible hard worker. How should I put it, it feels like she enjoys the effort itself, I think. I feel like she’s similar to Shiori in that way. She’s a person who naturally increases my motivation when I’m with her.

Seiran Stage Play Memories

After all, Seiran is amazing!

——In the Seiran stage play, you appeared alone on Siegfeld’s behalf. Which scene left the deepest impression on you in that play?

Nomoto: For a scene that I was in, it has to be the revue scene that unfolded at the end. All I can remember is that it was fun, so much fun that I couldn’t do anything but have fun.

⬆ In the Seiran stage play, she became Hisame’s rival in particular, and they faced off in the “Revue of Reigning”.

The three stage girls who appeared for the first time were also very impressive. I love the song where Yanagi Sakura-chan reveals the secrets of her sister Yanagi Koharu-chan. Matsue Miko-chan’s song was also wonderful, and Hanare Yatsuki-chan’s dance had me giving a standing ovation internally every time. I’d like to meet those three people again one day.

——Were there any memorable events during the rehearsals or performances?

Nomoto: Shiina Hekiru, who plays Souda Sawa, was very kind to me. My arm gets very tired after swinging my revue weapon, a lance, so I was caring for it by icing it, but Hekiru-san came next to me and said, “Your arm will get tired, so I’ll hold it for you”, and she iced my arm for me! It was a kindness that blew away the tiredness of my arms…

——Please tell us your impressions of the three Seiran stage girls and Yakumo-sensei.

Nomoto:Yanagi Koharu is a person who quietly and certainly moves forward step by step. Minase Suzu is a bright and straightforward person who is overflowing with energy to live. Honami Hisame is a person who loves and is loved by others, and who can shine by herself even as she supports others. And Yakumo Kyoko is an ideal teacher that everyone aspires to, a superstar. I feel like their actresses are also pretty close to their respective characters. Their quality and charm as people are on a cosmic scale, I think.

——On this next stage, the five “Edels” will finally assemble on the stage. How are you feeling right now?

Nomoto: Happy. I’ve always, constantly been saying, “I want to stand on stage as five someday.” I’m truly thankful to have received this chance to do that!

In the past, the five “Edels” served as the opening act for Starlight Kukugumi’s 2nd StarLive “Starry Desert”. This is the first performance with all five of us since then. Just what will happen… I’m really excited for it right now!

——For the performances and rehearsals, what are you looking forward to?

Nomoto: I wonder… being able to see the stage girls exhausted to the max, maybe. More than anything, I’m looking forward to sharing with everyone what we can only taste once we’ve gone through despair. …I may be the only one thinking about it from the angle of despair, though (lol).

But, I’m sure that all of the performers will create a brilliant stage in their own way! Please anticipate it!

Starting off 2022 with the stage!  Concentrating only on the performances right in front of her!!

——To Nomoto-san, what was 2021 like for you?

Nomoto:I was born in the year of the ox, so last year I was a woman of the year (born in a year with the same Chinese zodiac sign). So, it was a “cow fever” kind of year. I wonder what cow fever is. I don’t know either (lol).

By the way… A cow’s butt is not round. It’s super super bony, and it’s actually a square. Did you guys know this?

——I didn’t know about the cow’s behind (lol). Then, please tell us your plans for 2022.

Nomoto:Just to make February’s Starira stage play a success! As for what comes after that, I’ll think about it when it’s over. Ah, but I want to be able to wake up in a good mood every morning. On clear days, “Good morning blue sky!”, on rainy days, “Good morning blessed rain!”, that kind of feeling.

——Lastly, a message to all of the readers!

Nomoto:Thank you for reading this to the end! The charm of Starlight that everyone in Kukugumi has built up, this time we, Siegfeld, will deliver it to you. Just how will we accomplish that? We will strengthen our resolve and try our hardest. The “Starira” play will be performed starting from February 18th. Please come have some fun at The Galaxy Theater. Thank you so much!

Hello! I subbed the Revue Starlight movie back in December (the one that has color coded dialogue) - this is my first post because I was too much of a coward to make an account anywhere then.

To put it simply, I was not satisfied with my original work, which had mistakes from mishearing and also just misinterpreting things. It was rushed for various reasons, and I really regret not being more patient with it. I don’t think the mistranslations impact any plot points of the movie, it’s really more in the specifics, but I misrepresented some things I consider to be important, and for that I am truly very sorry.

After not touching it for 2 months and then working on it in all of my spare time for the past month, I finally!!!! finished the revised version and a widescreen version, since I had originally done it letterboxed. I think the widescreen version is actually more readable, so that’s one more thing to bonk my past self on the head for, but the letterboxed version has its merits too. They can be found on nyaa and anidex like before, and to make sure this appears in the tag, I’ll add links in a reblog!

Now I’m going to ramble a lot about the fixes I made and translation decisions and other things under the cut… it’s going to read like half a callout for myself and half a defense, and half just fun rambling about translation (yes that’s 3 halves) so do with that what you will…!

This is going to be unnecessarily long - so long, in fact, that I am going to divide it into parts. You may be thinking “I don’t wanna read all that” so a tldr for you if you are: 

1. major changes: 

• revue of malice -> revue of resentment, fixed lines in futakao conversation towards the end of the revue
  
• a line the giraffe says that is directed to the audience but I misinterpreted
  
• Nana’s line about feeling drunk: sake -> alcohol (this was just stupid of me)
• revue of souls -> revue of the soul (yes the the is ugly but necessary)

2. minor changes: really nitpicky stuff and obsessing too much over timing, typesetting

3. this took so long because I actually just fully stopped working on it for 2 months, I had like 0 time due to work and had no motivation, i overshare about the process

okay, time for the longer explanation!!! you don’t have to read this but if you want to witness someone be a little insane then have fun (also, warning for spoilers)!! we’re dropping capitalization now! i know nobody asked for this, but i have to talk a lot about this bc i haven’t, really, to anyone. and i think it’s kind of fun

first off i want to say… i’m not a professional translator (as of right now at least, who knows  this might change in the future, though maybe not for japanese) i’ve never taken translation courses and i’ve only taken like one creative writing course in my life. but i really enjoy linguistics and translating and am always, but especially after subbing this movie, trying to improve myself. generally my principle for translating things is that. Words are just words. personally i think that as long as something makes an equal amount of sense in the target language then all of the information in the source language should be retained as much as possible. of course, with english and japanese being so different, it’s difficult to stick to this. anyway i’m already going off topic, mainly i wanted to say my goal is always to present what MY understanding of the source is in a way that i feel is accurate to the source and would 1. convey the same meaning to an english speaker 2. read well to me as a person who can (to an extent) understand japanese. now let’s get into how i failed here.

PART 1: major changes / decisions

when the giraffe speaks to the audience, saying “it’s because of all of you”, i misinterpreted it as being about karehika and put “it’s because of you two” even though that’s not what he said.

• this is the WORST mistranslation imo and i lost my shit when i realized, but at least the message isn’t entirely lost because right before that he talks about how it’s the stage the selfish and greedy audience longs for. i have no idea how tf i ignored that previous line and thought it was about karehika.

i decided to change the title of the futakao revue to “Revue of Resentment”.

• the original title, “Revue of Malice”, i honestly took from the wiki without thinking too hard about the translation of the name that someone else had done, which was stupid of me. I also forgot to translate wagamama highway as selfish highway and just left it as wagamama highway in the subs, so you see. 
• 怨み (urami) generally means “grudge, resentment” in the same way that the more common form for urami, 恨み does, only it’s a stronger, more hateful emotion, and not commonly used. it’s usually used for a very deep-seated, strong grudge/resentment, or for things that are supernatural, ie. the grudge of a soul.
• either way, “malice” doesn’t really represent the meaning properly imo, because while resentment is about bearing ill will/bearing malice towards someone, the word by itself doesn’t cover the meaning of resentment, at least to me. but i’ll admit that it sounds a lot cooler, and i don’t think it’s toofar off, so i think it’s fine if people keep referring to the revue as revue of malice. if you take the midpoint between malice and resentment then that’s what my understanding of 怨み is.
• i also thought about changing it to revue of grudges, but to me that sort of implies actual tangible, countable grudges, which isn’t necessarily wrong, but considering the kanji selection it has the vibe of the actual feeling/act of holding a grudge, which in english is only resentment. so that’s what i settled on.
• i probably won’t change what’s on the wiki until the official translation for it comes out on starira, and no matter what starira says this is my final decision for my subs. 

I changed the final lines to the final line. 

• i had originally called the karehika revue “the final lines” and made karen say “i have to say them. the final lines”, when there was no need to make it plural and makes less sense to make it plural, because the final line is, one final line. i can’t say why this happened other than i apparently was not thinking hard enough about it until one day i was

originally what i put for A Beautiful Person, Or Perhaps It Is was “A Beautiful Person, Or Somebody Like That”.

• i had also taken this from the wiki and thought it was a reasonable interpretation because i didn’t know the backstory of how it was genuinely supposed to be cut off at the end (A Beautiful Person, Or Perhaps It Is [A Love Song]). that was my fault for not doing enough research and not looking in the right places to find this out before finishing it, and also a lesson that sometimes trying to extrapolate things from vague grammar is not a good idea

in the scene with the vegetable giraffe, right after junna says “putting an end… to what?”, maya says “greedily, ferociously, in order to continue standing on stage, we will go to the next stage.”

• here i originally made a dumb mistake and thought that when she said 貪欲に、獰猛に it was an extension of junna’s line instead of an adverb - like what are we putting an end to (何に？) to greed (貪欲に), to brutality (獰猛に).  

this isn’t a mistake but since i am explaining my choices i feel i have to mention - the なんだか強いお酒を飲んだみたい。line (Somehow it feels like… I just drank some strong alcohol.). actually i did make a mistake here and it was calling “sake” “sake” instead of just alcohol, which was really just me being careless. 

• besides that, there’s an issue with this line in that it lacks a subject/identifier. it could be that nana’s the one feeling drunk, or that the rest of them seem drunk to her, but there’s no way to eliminate a subject in english and have it make sense (Somehow, it feels like strong alcohol was just drunk. <– ??????? what?? people don’t talk like this)
• the first time i even heard of this line b4 the bluray was out it appeared to me that it was about nana, and every time i went down a twitter search rabbithole while working on both the original and the revision, it appeared that jp fans took it the same way - i wanted to link this fanart i saw where futaba is drinking w/ nana and makes fun of her for it but i lost it..
• i think the whole brushing hair back thing she does it seems to imply it’s intended to be more about her, but really it can have a double meaning (i found one or two jp fans talking about this, that at first it seems to be about nana but could also be about the rest of them).
• since it the general consensus is that it’s about nana, i stuck with “I”.
• i also considered removing the “just” because it’s technically not in the original line but it sounds a lot more awkward without it, and adding it doesn’t change the meaning of the line at all in context (like she’s not saying someone drank alcohol before they got on the train or something lmao so)
• speaking of this scene, here is a fun jp blog post analyzing it which is pretty parseable even just w/ google translate (it’s less about the actual line, but their theory for the line is that nana was very stimulated from the fight = feels like she had a strong drink): https://note. com/suzumya/n/n7ee2160d039c
  

revue of resentment:

• didn’t you say we were cutting ties? when futaba catches kaoruko after her truck flies off.. originally i just had “did we cut ties?” umm this was just me being dumb. anyway funny line because kaoruko was the one who said they were cutting ties in the first place and then she turns around and asks this to futaba LMAO
• towards the end when futaba is saying “this time, it’s my turn to say something selfish. it’s my turn to-” and then kaoruko says “it’s my turn to make you wait”? she’s imitating futaba/predicting what she’s going to say. i…. again, was careless and did not realize this and just had “it’s time for me to wait” (you’d think it’d be easy to catch because she said “atashi” and not “uchi” but well. I was not thinking clearly..)
  
• after she says this, she says “i know that much, okay” basically saying she knows that that has to happen/that futaba was going to say that, but this was one that i misheard and i thought she said わっかてませんや when she said わかってますんや and i put “i dunno about that” which is basically the opposite meaning.. lol
• the final line of this revue, i originally had as “guess i can’t win against the selfishness of a kid”. I changed this to “i just can’t win against the selfishness of a kid”. i can see where my past self was coming from with the “guess” to represent the わ but it makes it feel too.. speculative and like she didn’t know? which isn’t really right. I just can’t better portrays the sort of helplessness of it while still being like she’s stating a known fact, i think

this is kind of just a discussion, but i’ve been thinking about how “revue of souls” isn’t entirely accurate to 魂のレヴュー because it’s, a revue of a singular soul. but “revue of soul” doesn’t feel right to me, because… i dunno there’s some sort of rule to these revue of ___ things to me where it’s like the thing has to be a noun that’s either uncountable or plural if it’s countable. to say revue of soul makes me think that it’s like . revue of who is the most soulful or revue of soul music LMFAO so… i think it’s actually just a rule for using (something) of (something), maybe. like… tree of noodles vs tree of noodle. wow every day sentences that have never been spoken before are created

i think it’s more accurate to say “the soul” in this case, actually… but i don’t like putting the in a revue title……. but i think i will change it actually. you’re watching me make this decision live as i write this blog post lmao okay so i changed it to Revue of the Soul. maybe ateam were onto something with putting the Thing first actually. (just kidding i really don’t like that anyway moving on)

other stupid things that i almost forgot to mention in this post bc i changed them so long ago, but they’re in the first version: i wrote “kuro” instead of “clau” for .. some reason, and i wrote “bakkaren” instead of “karenitwit” and i spent some time thinking about alternate ways to localize this but karenitwit ended up being the best option.

PART 2: minor changes (summary, some specific lines i thought were notable, etc)

the minor things were really more minor, enough that i can’t actually list everything that i changed. some examples off the top of my head:

• i misheard “jesters” as “idiots” in the distant el dorado lines that hikari recited in english. or rather, i couldn’t make it out, and i did a twitter search and found jp fans saying it was idiots and went “i guess that makes sense, idiot can kinda mean the same thing as clown”, but then later when i looked at the chinese subs they had put “jesters” and i felt like the biggest idiot in the world
  
• i said “stage prop” for 舞台装置, the fake blood in the revue of annihilation, but it really shouldn’t have been prop. i changed it to equipment, then waffled on it and changed it to set, then my theater kid friend who speaks jp proofread for me and told me to change it to equipment
• when kaoruko tastes the fake blood, she says “it’s sweet.” i put “it’s tasty” - i think i might have thought she said うまい not 甘い and not challenged it
• at the seisho fest one of the students talked about making a new cyc(short for cyclorama but nobody calls them that apparently) and i didn’t get that
• thanks to my theater kid friend i realized i misrepresented the text that hikari gets from the giraffe, where i originally said “the house is already open for entry”.
  the original here is 小屋入りはもうはじまっています. apparently when i searched 小屋入り the first time i somehow misunderstood what i was reading and i thought it was about the audience entering the theatre, and i went with “the house is open for entry” because i thought hey, the audience section of a theater is called the house so that works out well. but it’s actually basically tech week, where “entering the hut” means to move into and start doing things in the theatre ahead of the first performance.
  what i ended up going with was “the dry tech is already underway”, which imo is the same amount of jargon-y ambiguity as the original and pretty much the same meaning. Thank you again to my friend
• when nana talks to masai + amemiya in the bg of her career interview i misheard what they were saying LOL originally i put that amemiya wasn’t going to hand over the script but she was saying that she WOULD. this + the kaoruko line both being me mishearing something as the negative.. is funny to me.
• not a mistake but a defense: in mahiru’s revue intro the first thing she says is 宣誓 which is most commonly translated as I swear/vow/oath but I wanted to stick to the olympic theme and in the olympic oath in english the word “promise” is used, so that’s why i used promise. however, in the original i translated 輝け、私 as “I will shine” but i changed it to “shine, me” because it just doesn’t fully capture the meaning the first way..,, speaking of revue intros i also fixed a small thing each in hikari’s and junna’s but its nbd i think.
  
• when mayakuro are playing shogi at the beginning, maya’s chick gets captured by claudine and it shows that claudine still has 2 chicks on the board, and when claudine calls her weak(/basically saying she sucks at it) maya was like “your chicks look too pitiful for me to…(take them)”. i am very embarrassed to say this took me too long to understand and at first I thought it meant maya’s chick got taken by claudine and then she was saying her chick looked pitiful on claudine’s side…
• AIJO KAWAN!!!!!!! again something i didn’t know mostly because i was not paying close enough attention, i only knew of this after i checked the korean subtitles. baby karen wrote her name wrong on her cubby she wrote かわん instead of かれん :’’’)))
• changed “pep rally” to “kick-off party”
• stuff like this. aside from that, i reworded some more awkward sounding sentences, fixed capitalization (why did i think capitalizing the beginning of every line was a good idea?) doubly made sure all information was kept in the translation, etc.
• i added some more onscreen text translation and some more bg conversation lines thanks to the korean subs catching things i couldn’t, and made a few really small changes to the lyrics that i don’t think are worth listing out here
• i added watashitachi wa mou butai no ue lyrics to the credits - this is my own translation and i purposefully did it without looking at the one on the wiki by lunaamatista, but they kind of ended up pretty similar, so i thought i should mention that it was not my intention to just steal/reword that translation or anything. the one on the wiki is great and you should go listen to the song and read it there and appreciate all the work luna has done!!!!!
• if there are any more mistakes (which i sure hope there aren’t bc i have watched this movie so many times now and cross referenced the chinese and korean subs, though the chinese one i looked at had some mistranslations as well imo) i can change them in the sub files, but i won’t be making a new release again.. if you see something you think is worded awkwardly, just know that i probably agonized over it for too long and decided i wanted to word it that way (ie., saying you who ___) also i Know i use too many em dashes and ellipses i’m sorry for that… i think they’re fun
• UPDATE thank you @flibbityflob​ for telling me i messed up the very final on screen text caption because i misread 本日 as 日本 like 100 times in a row apparently . I um. reposted the torrents because it’s been less than 12 hours so. woohoo

also one last thing I guess i can call this a decision i made but mostly i think it’s fun trivia - for karen’s middle school play, i wrote her character’s name as “sara” (it is seira in romaji). the reason i did this is because i found some jp fans talking about how hikari playing “lavinia” when she was 5 and karen playing “sara” in middle school is possibly related and a reference to princess sara, though the spelling is SLIGHTLY diff (セイラ vs セーラ)

PART 3: putting the worst and most annoying last, i apologize and defend myself at the same time. disclaimer: might sound kind of negative as i complain about tiring myself out and stuff, but overall i have SO MUCH fun doing this ok i want to make that clear

first of all: i am truly very sorry. maybe to some (most) people this isn’t a big deal but. i’ve spent most of the time working on this revision miming punching myself in the face every time i read over a translation that i changed, because i remember the original and want to die. but on the other hand, i don’t think what’s in the first version is really /that/ bad. i think it’s decent, passable i guess, and a lot of the things i changed were minor - the most important lines like the ones in the revues are relatively untouched, bc those are the ones i had already done enough agonizing over to be satisfied with what i had (except the futakao revue). but i am still very ashamed of myself and very sorry that i couldn’t do a better job the first time. 

this took me (looks at calendar) three and a half months, because first i fixed a lot of the timing issues, which was very tedious and time consuming and mind numbing. then i ran out of motivation for a month and a half bc things got very busy at work and i was in a horrible place health wise and did not have the energy to work on it. and then it was mid March and i took a few weeks to review + fix things over and over bc i only have time to work on this on the weekends and a few hours on weekdays and even then it’s hard to find the time and focus to watch a 2 hour movie while agonizing about the translation and timing and make changes… 

when i published the original, i was tired of working on it and too impatient and i couldn’t imagine working on it more because i knew things were going to get busier at work for me. every time i thought about the fact that people couldn’t watch and experience The Movie Ever with better understanding, i could not STAND the thought of just letting what i had done sit there on my computer for another week (let alone a whole month) while others couldn’t watch it… so i just released it… i am sorry if this reflects poorly on my character, but it is the truth. i regret not taking like, at least a few more days to proofread more, but at the time it really felt like the only thing i could do. 

i also want to say that it was never meant to be a response to the other subs - i was (and generally still am) so distant from most of the fandom that i didn’t even know there were other people subbing the movie. of course i knew that someone somewhere would probably be doing it, but i had no clue until after I posted my own that there were discord-only showings of the other subs or anything (the only reason i am not in the discord is bc i don’t enjoy large discord servers, and i don’t have any opinion on this). i’ll admit i still haven’t looked at the other subs because i didn’t want it to impact my own interpretation as i worked on the revision.

but also… i didn’t plan to sub the movie at all, actually: this is how it happened

• i watch the movie on dec 21 (i’m in est so it was dec 21)
• i absolutely lose my mind
• i think o___o i…………….. could sub this because i already translated the song lyrics…….. and revue intros……………. and… isn’t that like… a lot of the movie…. so…….!!!
• i spend the next 7 days in a hell of my own creation (barely sleeping and barely working which i could only do bc i work remotely and it was holiday season and all of my coworkers were away but i’m a lowly student coop who doesn’t get PTO)
• why did i do this? who asked me to do this? i don’t know. myself i guess.

so it was kind of an impulsive decision made in a vacuum. i don’t want to regret it, it was fun and i learned a lot, but were the mistranslations worth it? i suppose that depends on how much you care about the specifics. i think overall it’s not a big deal but, well (gestures to this whole post).

when i was working on this v2, there were a lot of moments where i thought that i really shouldn’t have subbed this in the first place. unfortunately, i am kind of a person who feels compulsed to do Things when i get too excited and that’s why this happened, and there is nothing i can do except move forward, fix things, and try to improve for the next time (yes there is a next time sorry! i’ll be stuck here for the forseeable future). 

all that’s to say if you want to hate me for this, or instead want to hate me for this stupidly longwinded!!! post that’s totally cool. next time, i will try very hard to put out better quality the first time around, and i ask for your understanding. thank you!

This is canon, and I’m dying because I’m so happy it is. This is me everyday, admiring Saijou Claudine because Claudine.

Even the anime be saying she’s beautiful ;-;

A/N: I dunno if any of you have read that one manga. Something about this OL whose first time is with an android who is actually a well… s3x bot that she ordered on accident. Well. This… is kinda inspired by that.

Idk…. Why I wrote this. Uh.

This is terribly written and dumb.

Idk anymore. It’s like… midnight rn. I am dumb.

I have other, better (???) stories I should be updating. Instead, I’m starting another trainwreck about two dumbasses. Yeah. Makes sense. Man, life sucks, y’know?

Anyway, uh.. bye? I guess?

Bye.

Enjoy?

~Shintori Khazumi

Oh, dw. No explicit anything on this thing. Just Kuro cursing the world.

“Do You Regret This Purchase?” Chapter 1: Curses, Sighs, and Bad (?) Decisions

//

“Mother.”

“Yes, my love?” The older woman felt a chill run down her spine at the sickeningly, threateningly sweet smile her one and only, beloved daughter wore on her face, hands gripping a stack of papers, wrinkling them with the force by which she held them. Even the way she was addressed unnerved her somewhat.

Where was her precious baby who always called her, ‘Maman’ and snuggled into her bosom? Where was thatClaudine?

“She’s right in front of you, and she’s quite… infuriated, Maman <3.” Claudine, reading her mother perfectly, took a step closer to the woman, showing her the papers that had been in her possession since this whole event began.

“O-oh? And who would dare get on my baby’s nerves like that?” Saijou Cathleen was not one to be daunted by anything, really. But her daughter right now? She scared her.

She watched Claudine sigh, easing off on the pressure, as she turned about to drop the papers on the nearby coffee table of their living room before falling back onto their couch with a resounding ‘thump’.

“Who got you to agree to this and which of you three paid for it?” She asked, throwing an arm over her face to shield her eyes from the ceiling lights.

“Whatever do you mean, mon amo-“

“Mamaaannnn~…” Claudine whined, turning to her mother with a look that was as pointed as it was pleading, her arm still over her forehead.

The sight was scarily adorable. Or adorably scary.

Whichever it was, it was the push Claudine’s mother seemed to need to finally cave.

“Well, you see… Kao-chan and Yacchan-“

“I KNEW IT.” Claudine growled, quickly jumping to her feet and sweeping the papers into her hand haphazardly as she readied herself to head for the door to hunt down some uselessly nosy assholes that needed a throttling.

“My love!” Saijou Cathleen begged, holding Claudine back by embracing her around her waist, squeezing her in a silent request for her to calm down.

Claudine huffed, not wanting to move rashly lest she hurt her mother.

“Mamannnn.” She groaned, breathing out her anger slowly. “Please let me go?”

“And possibly have to bail you out of prison for murder? No, thank you!”

“Mam-“

“I’m saving up for a yacht this year.”

“…”

“…”

“Maman, with all my love, I just want to ask you, okay?” Claudine- ignoring what her mother had just revealed to her- turned around in her mother’s arms, loosely wrapping her arms around her waist as she stared into an almost mirror image of herself. “Please respond honestly.” She requested.

“Okay.” Her mother nodded.

Claudine saw the sincerity in her eyes and trusted that her mother would tell her the truth and nothing but that. Of course, she had always been a little sneaky around it, but if Claudine asked the right questions, she was sure to get the answers she wanted.

And Claudine knew what the right questions were, after doing this for so long.

…but she didn’t really want to ask this particular set of them.

“Claudine?”

Taking in a deep breath of air and hoping the answer she’d get wouldn’t snap her dying patience and sanity, Claudine parted her lips, words at the tip of her tongue. With a small blush, she managed to ask,

“Why, in the world,would you buy me a sex doll?”

//

“Come on, Kuro-han. It was just a tiny joke.”

“Haha. It was hilarious. Thank you.” Claudine responded drily, crossing her legs and resting her feet on Kaoruko’s favorite coffee table, enjoying the way the woman’s eyes widened as she began to seethe.

“Oi, oi, oi. You can retaliate any other way you’d like, but those things on my nice wood? Get. Them. Off.” Kaoruko commanded with a glare.

-And glared some more when Claudine simply grinned at her, a sadistically happy sparkle in her eye.

“What kind of revenge would that be if it didn’t rile you up, Kaoruko~?” She sang, swapping the position of her legs, purposefully making a thud on the table, grin widening as Kaoruko began to turn red. “You don’t get to be mad at me this time.” Claudine huffed, smile dropping as she crossed her arms. “Not after this scandalous stunt you’ve pulled.”

“Scanda- I’d never!“ Had Kaoruko not been bound by the ropes Claudine had brought over with her, she’d probably have a hand on her chest right now, feigning offense at such an outlandish accusation. Guess she’d have to make do with her facial muscles for now. “It was an act of love!”

“Sure,love. A lotta love I must be about to get from that”. Claudine rolled her eyes, taking a sip from the tea she harbored from the blue devil’s cupboard. “Gotta thank you for that, I suppose, my oh-so-generous benefactor.” Claudine sarcastically remarked, giving a mock bow in Kaoruko’s direction.

The Kyoto woman smirked, unperturbed by Claudine’s reaction. In fact, it amused her and gave her more fuel by which to rile her up further. “You’re very welcome. I’m sure it will really help you to finally loosen up. I can’t even imagine how bad dry season must be for yo-mph! HEY!“

Claudine no longer responded to that, eyes trained on the television across from her, dainty fingers popping a macaron into her mouth. She made a small hum of delight, the corners of her mouth tipping upwards as the sweet filled her with an irreplaceable joy that not even Kaoruko could tamper with.

Of course, her being tied up to a wooden chair in her own home, annoyingness taken down a notch, was a plus for Claudine.

“Kuro-han!” She complained.

Seeing as the French-born wouldn’t be giving her the time of day anytime soon, she leaned backwards, falling onto a warm figure’s back that was equally restrained as her. Kaoruko sighed, throwing her head back to rest more against her companion’s fluffy pink hair.

She then realized something, frowning at the thought. “How come she didn’t rant your ear off?”

“Probably because I know my limits when it comes to messing with people.” Yachiyo shrugged, tapping her feet as she hummed a melody familiar to everyone in the room as it was from one of the more popular plays they’d done in the past.

Kaoruko would have contested that fact. Yachiyo was a little shit, a gremlin worse than her. She had nolimitswhen it came to messing around. But maybe, well… Maybe this time, it really was Kaoruko’s fau-

“Also, we both know I’m Kuro-san’s favorite asshole.”

“You little fuc-“

//

Upon entering her apartment, Claudine immediately frowned, brows tightly knit together as she braced herself for the terrors she was about to battle again tonight, having had enough of it this morning.

Beyond the scare she got from waking up to a stranger in her bed, naked as the day she was born, and feeling her up, what Claudine detested more was the fact that she had maybe-probably-kinda-just a little, tiny bit-might have…enjoyedit.

What exactly?

Well… the warmth of another body, curled up against hers in a mutual embrace; the soft skin that her hands had accidentally roamed in her thoughtless state, as well as the nips and kisses to her neck that she was luckily able to hide from the evil demons that were her best friends; the brown tresses that curtained over her as a body shifted atop her own; the full, pink lips- Claudine… hated that she couldn’t hate that.

And above all those things, what Claudine seemingly enjoyed the most were the eyes of amethyst, sparkling as they met Claudine’s own. In them, there was a swirl of mixed emotions that Claudine wasn’t all-too familiar with, but… she… she liked them. How they made her feel under the expressive gaze. It was warm, but also a scalding heat.

It almost made Claudine think she was loved and… desired.

She admitted, she almost gave in and leant forward.

And then that voice called,

“Master”.

The spell was broken, quicker than a flick of a magic wand, and Claudine… well… panicked.

She finally realized her abnormal proximity with a complete stranger, eyes darting everywhere and everywhere in attempts to not stare at a view full of boob that she had somehow gotten a front-row seat to.

In her frazzled state, mind now in fight-or-flight mode, Claudine had shoved the stranger backward, making the woman fall backward with an audible thud and a groan of pain that immediately halted Claudine’s internal crisis, protective instincts kicking in as she clumsily shuffled over to the woman’s side, dumbly inquiring, “Are you hurt?”.

‘Of course, she is, Claudine! What are you even asking!’

“S-s-s-sorry. I just.” Claudine tried her best to communicate with this unknown being, eyes striving to stay loyal to her gorgeous face and not traverse down the milky expanse of silken skin and curve- Claudine felt her face flush hotter as her hungover mind was clearly still in the gutter.

Just what the hell had happened last night after Kaoruko’s party?!

Claudine rubbed her suddenly throbbing temples, aching in all their agonizing glory. Really. What had happened?

Claudine shut her eyes for a moment, willing her sudden migraine away (hopefully) as she had things to do, mainly figuring out what the fuck was going on and who the hell this gorgeous specimen was, and if Claudine had done anything that could have ruined both their lives because of her known occasional rashness.

Upon opening her eyes, she saw her companion staring at her calmly, almost curiously, still not responding to the question she’d asked her possibly five minutes ago.

“Um?” Claudine waved a hand in front of the woman, checking if she was sober, or conscious or just… with her at the moment. “You good? Do you hear me? Do you understand, er, English? Japanese? Oh, what the actual fuck. Did I just really pick up some random woman off the streets or something?” Claudine regretfully muttered. God, she hoped not.

Something could have transpired, and Claudine hadn’t the slightest idea if there was a chance for her to go back- heck, she didn’t think she could even do that despite nothing happening!

The woman continued to stare.

“Excuse me, uh…” Claudine was starting to feel uncomfortable under that piercing stare. “Did I perhaps… wrong you somehow? Or are you just unresponsive because-“ Claudine, with her senses coming in order bit by bit, recalled what she’d just done a few minutes ago, this morning. “Shi- Did I accidentally give her a concussion? Agh- so much for… I am so sorry.” She apologized, immediately shuffling behind the mystery woman, muttering a small ‘excuse me’ before she awkwardly parted brown locks to check for any reddening or swollen areas.

Finding nothing, Claudine sighed in relief, thoughtlessly leaning forward to rest her head against the shoulder of her newfound company, tired and utterly confused. “Comfy.” She mumbled, feeling her eyelids droop in exhaustion.

Feeling her consciousness begin to slip as Claudine headed for the door to the realm of sleep,

“I’m glad you find me a comfort, Master.”

-She was harshly jerked back to the unbelievable reality that made her flat out scream an apology she’d never get to live down if heard by anyone else,

“Sorry if I fucked you!”.

//

Claudine groaned into her palms as she relived that particular memory, desperate to erase it from the face of the earth- or at least her mind.

That was not how she expected her morning to go. The night prior, she was sure she’d just get stupid drunk after a playful competition with Yanagi Koharu at the afterparty of the award’s ceremony, then she’d probably be herded home by a- praise all divine forces of the universe- sober Futaba or Nana, then she’d just crash onto her bed and sleep the next fourteen hours away and wake up, feeling like she was just runover by the shinkansen, before finding her pain-relievers and some microwavable food left by her guardian angels before they left after dropping her off.

By then, it would have been well into the afternoon where Claudine would have taken a warm bath and recovered a bit to do a little training at night and then get some relatively early sleep just to reset her body clock and prepare for another hectic schedule the next day.

This was it. This was what she was used to. Her norm.

And… the elegant goddess striding down her hallway, dressed in nothing but one of Claudine’s oversized hoodies… was not.

“Welcome home, Ma-“

“Claudine.” Said woman cut off, a finger pressed to the softest pair of lips she’d ever felt.

There was a brief pause before the other woman nodded, taking Claudine’s wrist, and lowering her hand so she could do as requested.

With a smile that Claudine couldn’t decided whether it infuriated her or made her feel all pleasantly warm inside, the woman leaned over, planting her lips against the flustered French actress, lingering a tad too long for the safety of Claudine’s poor, poor heart.

“Welcome home, Claudine.”

“I’m home.”

Claudine did her best to ignore that compelling gaze, the one she knew was being given to her as a means to pressure her into giving in to the request her ‘guest’ had been pestering her about since earlier; something she just couldn’t seem to do.

“Claudine.” She called. The blonde did her best not to look remotely in the other woman’s direction, grounding herself with the potted plant by her doorway.

“Y-yes?” She cursed her weak mouth.

“Are you ready to register me now?”

Mind suddenly clear as a slate, with a throat drying fast at the question, Claudine swallowed- and swallowed hard- as she felt those fingers still wrapped around her wrist begin their gentle, tempting caress up and down, inching Claudine’s hand closer to a place radiating warmth form under her hoodie.

Coming to her senses, she yanked her hand away, eyes shaky and wide as they stared at the brunette in front of her, smiling gently as if she’d done and said nothing out of the ordinary.

“I-I-I already told you, what is all this registering and w-why are you… down there… my h-hand…”

Cocking her head to the side with an expression containing all the innocence in the world, Claudine got her response.

“Didn’t I tell you earlier, Claudine?” The woman said with a pout that Claudine could just kis-

‘Saijou Claudine, what in the devil, Kaoruko’s name are you even considering?!’

“After purchasing me, Unit: T3ND0, Model: M4Y4,” The woman continued on, ignorant to Claudine’s inner turmoil. “You need to perform the registration proper. Identification such as fingerprints, eyescans, and saliva and sweat samples need to be taken to ensure that no one else may use me and my services, even if I’m taken from you.”

That last line didn’t seem to sit quite well with Claudine, and she was yet to know why.

“But I didn’t purchase you.” Claudine argued, ignoring the unfamiliar thoughts and feelings that stirred within her with regards to ‘Maya’, as she requested to be called.

Maya’seyes widened a fraction but lasted too short a while before she was back to her composed self, a hand moving to her chin as she seemed to be running diagnostics through her head.

“Well… your name was written on the order form, and your card was used for my purchase… so… I am unsure of how to deal with it as it wasn’t accounted for in protocol.” Maya uttered, looking up to Claudine with… remorse?

Claudine felt her chest constrict painfully. All the more when Maya bowed deeply and apologized for ‘not knowing what to do’.

“Shall I… Shall I contact the factory then? And ask if I can be sent back instead?” Maya quietly asked, face still to the floor. “I… I’m sorry I hadn’t noticed before, but… does… Mas- Claudine… possibly not have wanted me?”

NowClaudine was starting to feel a little remorseful.

Scratching the back of her neck and looking up the heavens- that she supposes was hidden behind her ceiling, Claudine sighed, pinching the bridge of her other nose as she contemplated what would possibly the dumbest decision of her life, or the greatest. Her greatest regret or greatest move, she guessed she’d just have to figure out later.

For now…

“Ah, damn it, Yachiyo and Kaoruko… Maman…” She cursed them in her head. This was definitely all their fault. She was going to ensure that they made it up to her.

“Claudine?” Maya’s soft timbre tickled Claudine’s ears in a way that made her want to hear more of it.

Curse this dumb situation and her inability to get out of it.

Curse her- as Kaoruko would probably put it- ‘useless lesbianism’.

And she’d probably agree with the little jerk for once, not that she’d ever admit that to her or let her know. Not in a lifetime.

Claudine groaned as her hands found purchase on Maya’s upper arms, gently guiding the girl until she stood upright, looking down at Claudine slightly in all her beautiful stature.

Ah, why did Maya have to be so. Damned. Attractive.

And why did Claudine just so happen to be utterly, terribly, and undeniably… gay.

With another sigh, and another internal curse… and another bad decision made, probably, Claudine mouthed the life-changing words,

“You should stay.”

Well, fuck. That didn’t sound like a free-will invite or an option at all.

But with the beatific smile that graced Maya’s features, was it safe for Claudine to think she was pleased with this arrangement?

Who knew?

WhatClaudine knew- and maybe didn’t hate as much- was that somewhere deep down inside her,

Shewas.

A/N: I dunno anymore. I have no clue what I wrote.

Uh.

Til next time?

~Shintori Khazumi