#sp firkle
PIP:Oh, and all the torturing in hell stopped years ago, I assure you!
PIP:We made sure everybody gets a happy afterlife, even those deemed “sinners.”
PIP:Sinners is such a silly term, isn’t it?
PIP: A mere lack of faith, a few wrong gestures in life, or even simply dying at the wrong time isall it could take to send you downwards!
PIP: Funny, huh?
PIP: I mean this all in the least threatening way, of course.
PIP:You still have your whole life ahead of you, and all!
PIP: But you can take it from me, you don’tever need to worry about whether or not you’ll be happy when you die.
PIP: There’s so much more to each and every afterlife, why I’d say hell is even better than heaven at this point!
PIP:Don’t even worry about where you are when you die. You’ll enjoy it either way.
PIP:Oops, that sounds a little strange, doesn’t it?
PIP: Moreso, I meant you’ll be happy after death, of course.
PIP: Maybe not so much the dying bit.
PIP:That still hurts.
PIP:It hurts afterdeath too, even!
PIP:Just be prepared for that, I suppose!
THE COOL AND EPIC WAITRESS, HEIDI: Wow.
HEIDI:That’s really interesting.
PIP: It really is, isn’t it?
PIP: There’s just so much to the afterlife you don’t even consider before you die, it’s really quite amazing!
PIP:If I weren’t in a hurry, I’d tell you all about it!
HEIDI:Oh,you’rein a hurry?
HEIDI:A hurry?
HEIDI:Wow.
HEIDI:Well, better take your order then, and fast,right?
PIP:I suppose you’re right!
PIP:Why don’t we let our friend Tweek here order first.
PIP:This is his first time at Denny’s, you know!
HEIDI: Wow your friend’s name is Tweek, that’s really unique.
HEIDI:What can I get for you, sir.
TWEEK: I don’t know what any of this is.
HEIDI:That’s food, sir.
TWEEK: Well what about this picture of a cup?
HEIDI:That’s coffee, sir.
TWEEK:That’s a funny name for a cup.
HEIDI:It’s just the name of the drink.
TWEEK:Wow you guys really… drink stuff other than lava, huh. Like I thought that was kind of weird at that school place, but I thought it was a weird ritualistic thing or something?
TWEEK: And I thought Pip was just lying to me.
HEIDI:Yep.
HEIDI:Yep we do.
HEIDI:We really, reallydo.
TWEEK: Um, okay, I think I want to try this then.
TWEEK: “Coffee.”
HEIDI: Of course, sir.
HEIDI:And for your… um.
HEIDI:…Kid?
TWEEK:Kid?
PIP:(The imp that followed us, my friend.)
TWEEK:Oh–
TWEEK:Right.
TWEEK: I guess I have a kid.
TWEEK: I mean I know I have a kid.
TWEEK: This is something I know for sure, positively.
HEIDI:Yes, I’m sure you do.
HEIDI:What does your kid want to eat.
TWEEK: I don’t know.
TWEEK: What do kids eat?
TWEEK:(Actually wait can she even eat? I never ate when I was that young…)
HEIDI: Might I recommend the endless pancakes for four dollars.
TWEEK:ENDLESS?
TWEEK:Do the pancakes keep coming back?????
HEIDI:Pretty much, yep.
TWEEK: Oh my god that sounds horrifying.
TWEEK:…
TWEEK: …Yes please.
HEIDI:Great.
HEIDI:And for you, sir??????
PIP:Just an iced tea, please and thank you!
HEIDI:Alright.
HEIDI: Coffee, a dish of endless pancakes, and iced tea. Is that all for tonight?
PIP: I believe so, yes!
HEIDI: I’ll get right to it and leave you three alone.
PIP:Thank you so much!
PIP:Well,Tweek, I never thought I’d see the day!
PIP:You’re actually willing to try something other than lava and rocks?
PIP:I mean, I knowI was the one who brought you here, but I figured you’d abstain from the generosity– as you are wont to do.
TWEEK: This stuff is meant to stay up here on the surface.
TWEEK: If I’m on the surface, then I’ll do whatever I’m meant to do on the surface.
PIP:But… you’re allowed to eat and drink in hell, Tweek.
PIP:You have for yearsnow.
TWEEK:You made it so it was allowed.
TWEEK: It was never allowed before you came around.
TWEEK: I’ll never give into this new era bullshit you’ve brought to hell.
TWEEK: Cause it’s just not meant for hell.
PIP: Oh, you’re just too silly.
PIP: But there’s no use in arguing anymore, I suppose.
PIP:You seem so much more fascinated with the overworld, you’re just too stubborn to want these kinds of luxuries in your own home.
TWEEK:Can you stop trying to analyze me?
PIP:I don’t think I’m analyzing you, I think you’ve just made yourself very clear over all these years.
PIP: Why not have some fun for a change?
TWEEK:Is your definition of fun running around telling everybody that we’re from hell?
TWEEK: I thought we were supposed to be discrete.
TWEEK:That’sall Gregory ever said we should be.
TWEEK:Discrete.
TWEEK:Andnone of you are even trying.
PIP: What’s the use now?
PIP:I tried to keep myself in for you earlier, but it just made me realise I care even less than I thought I did.
TWEEK:Cool!
TWEEK:Amazing!
TWEEK:People probably think you’re a freak!
TWEEK: People don’t look like this up here, so we should be fitting in with them, not flaunting what they fear.
PIP: Are you forgetting the song I sang to you on the way here?
TWEEK:Ugh,no, but don’t remind me.
TWEEK: I just…
TWEEK:We should be more careful, shouldn’t we???
TWEEK:Gregory said to be careful but then he turned around and just… outed me like he did, and…
TWEEK:Estella’s just running around murder happy…
TWEEK:Thomas can’t even hold his form, and–
TWEEK:God we shouldn’t even be here.
TWEEK:We shouldn’t be doing this.
PIP:Tweek,really.
PIP:You shouldn’t worry so much, and you shouldn’t hide who you are.
PIP:What’s it matter if a waitress knows what you are?
PIP:What’s it matter if the people behind you know what you are?
TWEEK:It matters because–
TWEEK:Wait, people behind me?
TWEEK:Oh shit I forgot there were other people here–
TWEEK:I–
TWEEK:Woah.
TWEEK:Uhh…
TWEEK:(Oh god they’re all looking at me.)
TWEEK:hi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TWEEK: What’s going on!
TWEEK: I think I saw you at school today, right?
TWEEK:Hi, I’m new here.
TWEEK: Is that coffee you’re all drinking?
TWEEK: How is it?
TWEEK: I’m about to try some for the first time.
TWEEK:Is it like, a localthing?
TWEEK: You guys are just staring at me, should I just stare back, or–
PIP:Don’t mind him all too much, he’s from hell!
PIP: Nice to see you all again, by the by!
TWEEK:Um, those are fake horns and wings and teeth by the way, he’s just playing pretend.
PIP:Nope,all authentic!
PIP:I died and came back, I did!
TWEEK:(cool. cool. cool.)
TWEEK:(This is so awesome.)
TWEEK:(At least I’m keeping weirdos like you away from those guys back at the barn…)
PIP:What was that, dear friend?
TWEEK:Ugh,nothing…