#sp michael

PIP:Oh, and all the torturing in hell stopped years ago, I assure you!

PIP:We made sure everybody gets a happy afterlife, even those deemed “sinners.”

PIP:Sinners is such a silly term, isn’t it?

PIP: A mere lack of faith, a few wrong gestures in life, or even simply dying at the wrong time isall it could take to send you downwards!

PIP: Funny, huh?

PIP: I mean this all in the least threatening way, of course.

PIP:You still have your whole life ahead of you, and all!

PIP: But you can take it from me, you don’tever need to worry about whether or not you’ll be happy when you die.

PIP: There’s so much more to each and every afterlife, why I’d say hell is even better than heaven at this point!

PIP:Don’t even worry about where you are when you die. You’ll enjoy it either way.

PIP:Oops, that sounds a little strange, doesn’t it?

PIP: Moreso, I meant you’ll be happy after death, of course.

PIP: Maybe not so much the dying bit.

PIP:That still hurts.

PIP:It hurts afterdeath too, even!

PIP:Just be prepared for that, I suppose!

THE COOL AND EPIC WAITRESS, HEIDI: Wow.

HEIDI:That’s really interesting.

PIP: It really is, isn’t it?

PIP: There’s just so much to the afterlife you don’t even consider before you die, it’s really quite amazing!

PIP:If I weren’t in a hurry, I’d tell you all about it!

HEIDI:Oh,you’rein a hurry?

HEIDI:A hurry?

HEIDI:Wow.

HEIDI:Well, better take your order then, and fast,right?

PIP:I suppose you’re right!

PIP:Why don’t we let our friend Tweek here order first.

PIP:This is his first time at Denny’s, you know!

HEIDI: Wow your friend’s name is Tweek, that’s really unique.

HEIDI:What can I get for you, sir.

TWEEK: I don’t know what any of this is.

HEIDI:That’s food, sir.

TWEEK: Well what about this picture of a cup?

HEIDI:That’s coffee, sir.

TWEEK:That’s a funny name for a cup.

HEIDI:It’s just the name of the drink.

TWEEK:Wow you guys really… drink stuff other than lava, huh. Like I thought that was kind of weird at that school place, but I thought it was a weird ritualistic thing or something?

TWEEK: And I thought Pip was just lying to me.

HEIDI:Yep.

HEIDI:Yep we do.

HEIDI:We really, reallydo.

TWEEK: Um, okay, I think I want to try this then.

TWEEK: “Coffee.”

HEIDI: Of course, sir.

HEIDI:And for your… um.

HEIDI:…Kid?

TWEEK:Kid?

PIP:(The imp that followed us, my friend.)

TWEEK:Oh–

TWEEK:Right.

TWEEK: I guess I have a kid.

TWEEK: I mean I know I have a kid.

TWEEK: This is something I know for sure, positively.

HEIDI:Yes, I’m sure you do.

HEIDI:What does your kid want to eat.

TWEEK: I don’t know.

TWEEK: What do kids eat?

TWEEK:(Actually wait can she even eat? I never ate when I was that young…)

HEIDI: Might I recommend the endless pancakes for four dollars.

TWEEK:ENDLESS?

TWEEK:Do the pancakes keep coming back?????

HEIDI:Pretty much, yep.

TWEEK: Oh my god that sounds horrifying.

TWEEK:…

TWEEK: …Yes please.

HEIDI:Great.

HEIDI:And for you, sir??????

PIP:Just an iced tea, please and thank you!

HEIDI:Alright.

HEIDI: Coffee, a dish of endless pancakes, and iced tea. Is that all for tonight?

PIP: I believe so, yes!

HEIDI: I’ll get right to it and leave you three alone.

PIP:Thank you so much!

PIP:Well,Tweek, I never thought I’d see the day!

PIP:You’re actually willing to try something other than lava and rocks?

PIP:I mean, I knowI was the one who brought you here, but I figured you’d abstain from the generosity– as you are wont to do.

TWEEK: This stuff is meant to stay up here on the surface.

TWEEK: If I’m on the surface, then I’ll do whatever I’m meant to do on the surface.

PIP:But… you’re allowed to eat and drink in hell, Tweek.

PIP:You have for yearsnow.

TWEEK:You made it so it was allowed.

TWEEK: It was never allowed before you came around.

TWEEK: I’ll never give into this new era bullshit you’ve brought to hell.

TWEEK: Cause it’s just not meant for hell.

PIP: Oh, you’re just too silly.

PIP: But there’s no use in arguing anymore, I suppose.

PIP:You seem so much more fascinated with the overworld, you’re just too stubborn to want these kinds of luxuries in your own home.

TWEEK:Can you stop trying to analyze me?

PIP:I don’t think I’m analyzing you, I think you’ve just made yourself very clear over all these years.

PIP: Why not have some fun for a change?

TWEEK:Is your definition of fun running around telling everybody that we’re from hell?

TWEEK: I thought we were supposed to be discrete.

TWEEK:That’sall Gregory ever said we should be.

TWEEK:Discrete.

TWEEK:Andnone of you are even trying.

PIP: What’s the use now?

PIP:I tried to keep myself in for you earlier, but it just made me realise I care even less than I thought I did.

TWEEK:Cool!

TWEEK:Amazing!

TWEEK:People probably think you’re a freak!

TWEEK: People don’t look like this up here, so we should be fitting in with them, not flaunting what they fear.

PIP: Are you forgetting the song I sang to you on the way here?

TWEEK:Ugh,no, but don’t remind me.

TWEEK: I just…

TWEEK:We should be more careful, shouldn’t we???

TWEEK:Gregory said to be careful but then he turned around and just… outed me like he did, and…

TWEEK:Estella’s just running around murder happy…

TWEEK:Thomas can’t even hold his form, and–

TWEEK:God we shouldn’t even be here.

TWEEK:We shouldn’t be doing this.

PIP:Tweek,really.

PIP:You shouldn’t worry so much, and you shouldn’t hide who you are.

PIP:What’s it matter if a waitress knows what you are?

PIP:What’s it matter if the people behind you know what you are?

TWEEK:It matters because–

TWEEK:Wait, people behind me?

TWEEK:Oh shit I forgot there were other people here–

TWEEK:I–

TWEEK:Woah.

TWEEK:Uhh…

TWEEK:(Oh god they’re all looking at me.)

TWEEK:hi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TWEEK: What’s going on!

TWEEK: I think I saw you at school today, right?

TWEEK:Hi, I’m new here.

TWEEK: Is that coffee you’re all drinking?

TWEEK: How is it?

TWEEK: I’m about to try some for the first time.

TWEEK:Is it like, a localthing?

TWEEK: You guys are just staring at me, should I just stare back, or–

PIP:Don’t mind him all too much, he’s from hell!

PIP: Nice to see you all again, by the by!

TWEEK:Um, those are fake horns and wings and teeth by the way, he’s just playing pretend.

PIP:Nope,all authentic!

PIP:I died and came back, I did!

TWEEK:(cool. cool. cool.)

TWEEK:(This is so awesome.)

TWEEK:(At least I’m keeping weirdos like you away from those guys back at the barn…)

PIP:What was that, dear friend?

TWEEK:Ugh,nothing…