#star wars episode iii revenge of the sith
Obi-Wan: I dropped 35lbs in like 3 months just from not drinking beer.
Anakin: Has it been tough, to cut out beer?
Obi-Wan: Not really!
Obi-Wan: I just replaced it with vodka :)
(After Anakin joins the Force ghosts)
Obi-Wan: The last time we were together, you killed me!
Anakin: Well, the last time we were together, you stabbed me!
(Anakin fucking around)
Obi-Wan: See what I have to deal with? 10 years of this shit.
(Anakin trying to set up Obi-Wan with a girl)
The girl: I love Ewoks!
Anakin: Really? Obi-Wan here is an expert on Ewoks, he stayed on their planet for a year to study them!
The girl: (to Obi-Wan) You are? That is so cool! What is your favourite thing about Ewoks?
Obi-Wan: Their meat… is delicious.
Anakin: Our mail carrier hates me ever since I asked her when the baby was due.
Padmé: Oof, she wasn’t pregnant?
Obi-Wan: No, he was not.
Obi-Wan: God, I’m such a jerk.
Anakin:Yeah.
Anakin: Wait, why?
Windu, about to approach Anakin: I don’t know what to say.
Obi-Wan: Just be yourself, say something nice!
Windu: Which one, I can’t do both.
Ahsoka: I kinda wanna go to the gym. So I can get super strong and punch Anakin in the face!
Padmé: Yes! We should all do it!
Obi-Wan: Yeah! Let’s all punch Anakin in the face!!
Obi-Wan: *has his hand on Padmé’s stomach to feel the baby kick*
(A couple of minutes later)
Anakin:It’s hard for the little guy to perform under pressure.
Windu: Top 10 things Anakin said on his wedding night.
Obi-Wan: Woah! It was small, but I think I felt something!
Ashoka: Top 10 things Padmé said on her wedding night!
Padmé:*laughs*
Anakin: Stop laughing at it, Padmé!
Ahsoka, Windu and Obi-Wan: TOP 10 THINGS ANAKIN SAID ON HIS WEDDING NIGHT!!
Obi-Wan: Believe it or not, I’m bi
Anakin:Biyoself
Anakin: YOU SET THIS UP! YOU SET THIS WHOLE THING UP!
Palpatine: I most certainly did- *walks away*
Padmé: Wow, look at your eyes.
Anakin: I-I can’t.
Obi-Wan: Anakin, condolence high-fives are never gonna be a thing.
Anakin: They most definitely are a thing!!
(Later that day)
Anakin:I can’t believe I don’t have the rank of master after all this time!
Obi-Wan: My condolences. *raises his hand for a high-five*
Anakin:
Anakin: Would you stab me for 10 million credits?
Obi-Wan: I would stab you for free.
Obi-Wan: My dreams were shattered years ago.
Anakin: How many years ago?
Obi-Wan:
Obi-Wan: How old are you again? 
Anakin:
Anakin: I don’t always make the great decisions under pressure.
(30 minutes later)
Obi-Wan: What the hell is that? 
Anakin: An Alpaca! I got the last one :D
Anakin: Good morning, god has let me live another day and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.
Anakin: *does the dumbest/most random stuff ever*
Obi-Wan: Some people ask “why?” Anakin asks “why not?”
Anakin: Mark the day, Ahsoka, May the 4th, 10:32 pm.
Ahsoka: Oh, honey. We’re well into October…
Anakin:Really?!
(Imagine if Padmé and Anakin broke up)
Ahsoka: Hey, Obi-Wan, do you think it’s weird that Padmé is still friends with Anakin? 
Obi-Wan: I think it’s weird that we’re all still friends with Anakin.
Anakin: Obi-Wan, don’t you think it’s a bit narcissistic not to allow for something bigger than us out there? Something whose beauty and power and majesty humbles us? *looks up at the sky*
Obi-Wan:God?
Anakin:Werewolves.
Padmé: Shake it.
Anakin: *starts dancing*
Padmé: The container, Anakin!
Anakin:
Obi-Wan: Okay, everyone, I have some news.
Anakin: That Mace Windu is a Korean toilet ghost? Boring. We already knew that.
Obi-Wan: Mace Windu is dead.
Anakin: Say what now?
Ahsoka: Anakin, Obi-Wan won’t come out of his chambers.
Anakin: Just tell him I said something.
Ahsoka: Like what?
Anakin: Anything factually incorrect.
Ahsoka:Okay!
[a few moments later]
Obi-Wan: DID YOU SERIOUSLY JUST SAY THAT THE TWO SUNS ARE PLANETS?
Happy anniversary to the love of my life!
Kenobi on Mustafar
