Lucky Star - 5/20

Lucky Star - Chapter 5 - GuineapigQueen - Super Junior [Archive of Our Own]

Kyuhyun really hates doing this. It makes him feel like a shitty parent, like he’s giving Byul to someone else to raise. He knows that’s not really the case. He gives almost all of his time to Byul normally but he’s so behind on his uni work that he needs to catch up. So he puts Byul in day care every day from Monday to Friday. Byul doesn’t actually care, he loves daycare. He loves getting a whole day to play with his friends. But Kyuhyun still feels guilty. He often wishes that he could just be a stay-at-home parent but that’s not possible. Not in their situation. If he’s not working he’s got to be studying. And the only way he’s going to catch up is if Byul is out of the house. So Kyuhyun reluctantly books all of his days. When he tells Byul about it Byul is excited. He begins talking to Heechul about all the games he’s going to play and all the friends he’s going to see.

Butterflies - 21/40

Butterflies - Chapter 21 - GuineapigQueen - Super Junior [Archive of Our Own]

“I just…” Heechul trails off. Kyuhyun can tell that he clearly wants to talk about something more but he seems to not be able to find the words.

“What is it?” Kyuhyun asks, concerned.

“It’s just… I want to say some things… before the baby comes” Heechul says nervously.

Out of Body - 22/25

Out of Body - Chapter 22 - GuineapigQueen - Super Junior [Archive of Our Own]

Heechul still visits him every day. Sometimes he brings Narae and sometimes he doesn’t. Kyuhyun is coming to wish he’d bring her everyday but he knows sometimes he can’t. Sometimes he can’t manage it. But Kyuhyun thinks it’s a positive that he wants to see her. He’s begun missing her too. He misses Heechul obviously but at first he only missed Heechul. Because he was convinced Narae wasn’t a real baby, so therefore he didn’t miss her. But he knows that she is now and he misses her. He knows that he should be with her and taking care of her and he’s honestly sad that he can’t do so. He wanted to have that period where he bonded with his newborn so badly and he didn’t get it.

Little Things - 7/23

Little Things - Chapter 7 - GuineapigQueen - Super Junior [Archive of Our Own]

All of a sudden Heechul finds that he can’t get up. Or at least, he can’t do it properly. He’s so fucking tired that he doesn’t even consider why his balance might be non-existent and he’s struggling against gravity to get up out of bed. Kyuhyun groans next to him. Heechul scrambles anyway, he knows that he’s disturbing Kyuhyun but he has to pee right now.

Lucky Star - 4/20

Lucky Star - Chapter 4 - GuineapigQueen - Super Junior [Archive of Our Own]

There are a lot of people who think that Kyuhyun is a useless stereotype. That’s because he’s had Byul in high school and he isn’t technically out of his teens yet and he’s having his second baby. People are much more complex than that. There are many intersecting reasons and factors as to why this has happened. Kyuhyun doesn’t want to explain to his critics the ins and outs of his sex life. He doesn’t want to explain just how the accident happened a second time.

So instead he’s just judged. Seen as someone too stupid to use contraception. Someone who pops out more babies than he can afford. It’s not true, of course. But that’s the opinion of the general public.

Butterflies - 20/40

Butterflies - Chapter 20 - GuineapigQueen - Super Junior [Archive of Our Own]

They still continue the tutoring sessions, even though Heechul has improved so much. Heechul is self-conscious, he still thinks that he can’t do this on his own and he needs Kyuhyun’s help. Kyuhyun thinks that a lot of this is a self-belief issue and that Heechul could do perfectly well on his own. But until Heechul comes to that conclusion himself Kyuhyun is willing to help him. At the very least to build up his confidence.

Out of Body - 21/25

Out of Body - Chapter 21 - GuineapigQueen - Super Junior [Archive of Our Own]

Heechul keeps his promise. He comes in every day, even when Kyuhyun refuses to talk to him. He never brings Narae though. He talks about her a lot and shows Kyuhyun pictures. Kyuhyun won’t look at first. He doesn’t want to see and he definitely doesn’t want to be drawn into the whole plot again. He’s in the hospital, they’re putting medicines in him that he doesn’t trust or fully understand. He blames Heechul and to an extent Narae. Well, he doesn’t believe that Narae is real but he feels like she has a hold over everyone around him and he hates it. He hates that he’s here against his will and has been completely stripped of all control.

Little Things - 5/23

Little Things - Chapter 6 - GuineapigQueen - Super Junior [Archive of Our Own]

Twenty weeks is into the fifth month. Heechul is five months pregnant. He wants to faint. There isn’t just a baby in there, there’s a baby the size of a bell pepper in his stomach. His stomach that still looks relatively normal. He gained some weight there but by no means does he look pregnant.

Lucky Star - 3/20

Lucky Star - Chapter 3 - GuineapigQueen - Super Junior [Archive of Our Own]

Kyuhyun realises that he will need more time than he bargained for to care for Byul. But he emails his school to let them know, he has medical evidence that Byul is ill and needs care, so his time off is approved. He’s going to have to grind to catch up but that’s not all that abnormal for him anyway. His time is very often taken up by Byul.

Lucky Star - 2/20

Lucky Star - Chapter 2 - GuineapigQueen - Super Junior [Archive of Our Own]

Kyuhyun has actually never ridden in an ambulance before. He supposes that’s good, he’s never had an emergency happen to him. He can’t stop to think about what might be happening to Byul because then he’ll just break down. Byul is still so young and small. He’ll freak out if Kyuhyun freaks out.

So he goes with Byul in the ambulance and tells him everything is going to be alright. They give him some pain relief in the ambulance. It makes him sleepy but he’s still afraid. Kyuhyun doesn’t blame him.

Butterflies - 19/40

Butterflies - Chapter 19 - GuineapigQueen - Super Junior [Archive of Our Own]

Kyuhyun decides to bring it up on a Sunday morning. Just a lazy Sunday. They both wake up late, together in Kyuhyun’s bed. Both exhausted from the night before. As the feeling often strikes him, Kyuhyun wanted to have sex very late at night. And Heechul was more than willing to oblige. It’s getting harder with how big the bump has gotten but when there’s a will, there’s a way. And for now, they both certainly have the will.

He doesn’t exactly want to have this conversation but he knows it needs to happen. Especially with Leeteuk reminding him all the time. And now, sleepy, in Heechul’s arms it feels like the right time. Kyuhyun doesn’t feel afraid of the reaction he’ll get. He’s come to trust Heechul this much, when it comes to the baby Heechul will always be reliable. Even awkward conversations or hard ones, Kyuhyun knows that they can do them. They can get through it. So while he doesn’t want to have the conversation he knows that Heechul won’t begrudge him for it.

Out of Body - 20/25

Out of Body - Chapter 20 - GuineapigQueen - Super Junior [Archive of Our Own]

Late at night Kyuhyun realises it. He understands the plot now. It’s not just listening devices… it’s Narae. She is listening. She is a bug. He should have known it from the start. She isn’t real… that’s why he can’t connect with her. She never was real and yet, he’s the only one who’s realised it. Although he suspects that his friends are also in on it. They want to keep him compliant, make him think that he has to look after this thing when actually it’s just been spying on him all along.

Little Things - 5/23

Little Things - Chapter 5 - GuineapigQueen - Super Junior [Archive of Our Own]

It’s just a regular Saturday night when it happens. Kyuhyun and Heechul are just doing their thing. Gaming after having dinner, hanging out and just enjoying their free time.

Heechul drops the controller suddenly, causing him to lose but he doesn’t care. Kyuhyun doesn’t even gloat because he instantly knows something is wrong.

“What is it?” Kyuhyun asks him worriedly.

“My stomach hurts,” Heechul says suddenly.

Lucky Star - 1/20

Lucky Star - Chapter 1 - GuineapigQueen - Super Junior [Archive of Our Own]

Nothing sucks more than when your kids are sick. Kyuhyun thinks it’s even worse than when they throw tantrums, or walk in on you having sex with your partner or when they’re tiny babies and they poop and puke everywhere. Maybe this is because Kyuhyun feels entirely sympathetic to his sick child. His child is ill and he can’t make it better. They just want him to make it go away, he can’t.

Your kid crying because they’re sick is very different to them crying because they’re having a tantrum or something. That’s just frustrating, this is actually sad. His baby is crying because he’s unwell, all he wants is for Kyuhyun to hold him and wrap him up in love. He can’t be mad at them for that. He doesn’t even feel frustrated. He just feels sad. He wants to make it better straight away.

Hi, this is a sequel to Written in the Stars. I wanted to write something with older Byul and to get a glimpse into their lives post-high school. I hope you enjoy reading it :)

Written in the Stars - 22/22

Written in the Stars - Chapter 22 - GuineapigQueen - Super Junior [Archive of Our Own]

After six weeks officially Kyuhyun decides to go back to school. He’s worried about it. Mainly he’s worried about leaving Byul, he feels like their bond is so much stronger now. Kyuhyun feels weird when he hasn’t got Byul’s weight in his arms. He looks around for the diaper bag or the stroller. It’s weird that all he has is his backpack and school books.

He misses Byul already. He told the daycare to message him or call him if anything at all happens. He doesn’t care if he’s in class he will check.

Butterflies - 18/40

Butterflies - Chapter 18 - GuineapigQueen - Super Junior [Archive of Our Own]

Not long after the first initial feelings of movement, the baby becomes stronger. This coincides with the growth spurt of Kyuhyun’s belly, so he figures that the baby is just getting bigger. Now he can feel more distinct movements, he can feel kicks and punches as well as the baby rolling around. It’s nice, he’s still the only one who can feel it though. Heechul wants to of course, so Kyuhyun tells him now when he feels strong movements, just in case.

Out of Body - 19/25

Out of Body - Chapter 19 - GuineapigQueen - Super Junior [Archive of Our Own]

Kyuhyun barely holds her. He can’t. He doesn’t want to think about all the negative feelings that come up when he does. If he avoids holding her and focuses on things like list making or planning then he can still look like a decent parent. Nobody has to know that there’s something going wrong inside.

Little Things - 4/23

Little Things - Chapter 4 - GuineapigQueen - Super Junior [Archive of Our Own]

Some days he feels mad about it. Crosses his arms and irrationally blames everyone around him before then blaming himself. Other times he thinks, screw this, I like food and my boyfriend likes me how I am. He can’t quite decide what move he wants to make next. He’s also still so tired. He doesn’t want to exercise or put in brain power counting calories. He just wants to flop after work. Kyuhyun encourages this, he can tell that Heechul is clearly exhausted. Kyuhyun sees right through him if he’s exaggerating or feigning symptoms. Kyuhyun would call his ass out if he wasn’t worried too.

Written in the Stars - 21/22

Written in the Stars - Chapter 21 - GuineapigQueen - Super Junior [Archive of Our Own]

Kyuhyun is still gearing up to go back to school but Leeteuk has begged him to come out once again. Kyuhyun would do almost anything for Leeteuk. So even though he wasn’t planning on another meet up he agreed to go. Heechul comes too, obviously and they bring Byul. Leeteuk had said that he should bring Byul and Kyuhyun doesn’t really like to leave him with a babysitter anyway. He wonders if this is a new parent thing that will get over or if he’ll always want to bring Byul with him everywhere. He doesn’t know yet.

Written in the Stars - 20/22

Written in the Stars - Chapter 20 - GuineapigQueen - Super Junior [Archive of Our Own]

That weekend Kyuhyun finally gives in to his friend’s requests to meet Byul. Before that he was kind of keeping Byul at home and isolated. Partially because he wasn’t sure how well he could handle taking a baby out but also because he wanted to recover in peace.

He’s been feeling much better since he’s been at home and his mother is encouraging him to at least try and take Byul out. She’s right, he can’t stay at home forever. He’s going to need to learn to manage taking Byul out.