#tandy bowen
Anyone: *hurts Tandy*
Ty: I’m about to end this dude’s whole career
Samedi: He paid me with his worries.
Tandy: Worries?? Boy do I have a fucking deal for you. I’ve got more worries than you’ll know what to do with!
Samedi:Bu-
Tandy: I just escaped human traffickers motherfucker, I could own this place with the number of worries I have to offer!
Tandy: Your collection of women’s misery???
Andre: Not misery. Despair. There’s a subtle but distinct difference. Technically misery is defined as-
Tandy: -Are you really correcting my grammar right now?
Tandy, after she realizes Ty is alive: TYRONE JOHNSON I HATE YOU
Ty: What?! Why??
Tandy: NEVER LEAVE ME AGAIN I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD
Ty: You ready to go? Tandy-
…
…
Why are you wearing a towel?
Tandy: What? I thought you said we were going swimming???
Ty: Yeah. Swimming not skinny dipping. There is a difference. Usually people wear swim suits too.
Tandy: Ohhhh see I thought- ya know what, never mind!
Ty: In the future if one of us disappears for a while can we just assume something terrible happened?
Tandy: I feel like high stakes is kind of our style anyway, right?
Tandy: You know that show, Sex sent me to the ER?
Ty: Yeah those couples are so dumb-
Tandy: All I’m saying is…if you wanna *wink* send me to the ER- ya got my permission *finger guns*
Ty:o-o…..……..
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Ty: Okay, so there’s a few problems with your plan. Actually more than a few.
Tandy: What? Nah this is gonna work.
Ty: If you have to tell me there’s a 78 percent chance we’re gonna die it’s not a good plan.
I couldn’t imagine my life without you.
Tandy: We need a signal.
Ty: A what?
Tandy: So that if one of us is in trouble the other one will know.
Ty: I mean I think we’ve been doing it alright.
Tandy: Okay but you didn’t get sold into human trafficking. We need a signal.
Ty: You know on second thought we really need a signal-
Tandy: Oh. My. Gosh. Is this your diary???
Ty: What- hEY PUT THAT DOWN!
Tandy: *flipping the pages* No WAY you write poems?
Ty: Poems? Uh, no those aren’t-
Tandy: Oooh this one has my name on it.
Ty: ThAT’S not about you-it’s uh-it’s about a different Tandy!!!
Season 1 vibes
Tandy: What if I had the cloak and you had the daggers? How different do you think our lives would be?
Ty: Tandy, you don’t need ANOTHER tool to steal from people.
This one’s angsty. Based off of Hey, Little Songbird from Hadestown (Original Broadway). Andre is Hades and Tandy is Eurydice.
I just remember listening to the song and getting those uncomfortable chills and this was my way of channeling that.
Ty: Shit, I think I’m gonna throw up-
Tandy: Don’t TELL me! Teleport to a trash can like a sane person!
Ty + Tandy + the ambulance
Tandy:I’m ready to go!
Ty: Uh, no you’re not. Tandy, I mean it when I say your face is truly and legitimately purple.
Tandy: Oh, that. Yeah I had a face mask mishap. It’ll be back to normal in like 2 weeks.
Ty: No…no no I refuse to be seen in public as Cloak and Eggplant.
“Imagine if men were as disgusted with rape as they are with periods.”
—Tandy Bowen, reflecting on her life
*On the bus*
Ty: *whispering* Hey…hey Tandy?
Tandy:Mmhmm?
Ty: Will you switch spots with me?
Tandy: I thought you wanted the aisle seat?
Ty: The woman across from me smells like ham.
Tandy: Ooh…that sounds like a you problem. Goodnight. Sweet dreams porkers.
Ty: Tandy…I think I screwed something up really bad so don’t freak out when I tell you-
Tandy:FINALLY THE DAY HAS COME!
Ty:Huh?
Tandy: Thank goodness! I’m so tired of being the one who always causes the problems.
Man needs a blade for that
That’s why I’ve got you
They just radiate comfort characters
