#the old guard

mmmidrich:

almostcanon:

Andy: Then it was me and my labrys against fifty guards.

Copley: You were alone?

Andy: Just me.

Smash cut.

Quynh: None of us are ever really alone.

Copley: So you were there?

Quynh: Where?

Smash cut.

Booker: I planted the explosives at the base of the stairs. No one saw me. The explosion was so big that it rocked the entire palace. I think the town reported it as an earthquake.

Smash cut.

Joe: No, I don’t remember an explosion. But I did trip and fall into Nicky’s arms. His eyes, when he looked down at me–

Smash cut.

Nicky: Yes, I caught Joe when he was shot six times. I carried him to safety.

Smash cut.

almostcanon:

My wish fulfillment for 2 Old 2 Guard is an interview-style mockumentary where the Guard is being debriefed individually by Copley after a mission went tits up.

Each of them is telling a wildly different version of events, and we get their narration over different thematic recreations of the mission. Joe and Nicky are both telling a romance, but Joe’s version is a romantic comedy and Nicky’s is a historical period drama. Andy’s version is akin to a Quentin Tarantino film. Booker tells a film noir spy thriller. Nile’s is an indie coming of age story. Quynh’s is a horror/thriller version.

Meanwhile Copley is pulling his hair out because they are the most unreliable narrators ever, and they have an international incident on their hands.

Nile: There were like four guards, I think? I was with Andy the whole time, but I don’t know where everyone else was.

andhumanslovedstories:

andhumanslovedstories:

andhumanslovedstories:

Nile from The Old Guard and Marta from Knives Out should date based on vibes and because I want them to.

Marta is helping Blanc solve a murder. Nile is the murder victim in question and it’s VERY awkward that she’s not dead.

Blanc standing in front of a conspiracy board covered with string and pictures of the immortals: MARTA THE DONUT HOLE MISSING AT THE CENTER OF THIS MYSTERY IS THE SIZE OF THE MOON