#this isnt who i was

I think I’m actually having some sort of breakdown

My friend is stressing that with world war 3 imminent, everyone in this country (not Ukraine) is going to die.

And I don’t care. I mean, I don’t think it’ll happen. But also I don’t care because why should I when most people in this country don’t seem to care if I die?

Everyone is such a fucking hypocrite, suddenly caring about human life and suffering. No doubt if Ukraine’s entire population were disabled/vulnerable they wouldn’t give half as much of a shit.

A part of me even feels relieved at the thought of being wiped out by a bomb. At least then my future would be out of my hands and I wouldn’t have to spend every minute of every day assessing and adjusting my behavior just to stay alive.

I’m just so callous and dead inside after these two years. It’s infuriating to see people suddenly having the capacity to give a fuck about life and help others, when they never bothered to help people like me.