#tony x steve

superior iron man x captain hydra

Steve:Y'know, I don’t understand this at all. You give me one good reason why you don’t want to go to debriefing.

Bucky:[in rapid succession] It’s hot…

Tony: It’s boring…

Bucky: The people sucks…

Tony: The walls are ugly…

Bucky: I have to wear a tie…

Tony: I have to wear a underwear…

Steve:Enough!

Tony: I really feel like there were a few extra children in there.

Steve: I didn’t recognize some of them.

[Rhodey doesn’t like the fact Steve is interested in Tony]

Rhodey: Get outside!

Steve: Rhodes, I assure you my intentions are honorable. I mean, my thoughts are filthy but I rarely act on them.

Tony: Steve is irrelevant.

Rhodey: Yeah, and I’m the Queen of England.

Tony: Nice seeing you, Cap.

Steve: Yeah, you too. [As Tony leaves] Damn it.

Sam:What?

Steve: I’m in love with him.

Bucky:[hits him] No! As your sponsor I will not let you relapse. You blew it; it’s over-move on.

Steve: I don’t know! I just have this feeling. He’s the future Mr. Steve Rogers.

Steve: Dirty board game?

Tony: Dirty Scrabble. It’s actually just regular Scrabble with extra F’s, B’s, and J’s.

[Tony approaches Steve at Peggy’s funeral]

Tony: I thought she’d outlive us both just for spite.

Steve: It’s odd. All that feistiness packed into one little urn. [looks at Tony] I’m glad you came.

Tony:[takes his hand] Wouldn’t be anywhere else.

Tony: Steve, can we deal with this later? Because I’m working on a very big deadline right now. I’m busy.

Steve: You’re dizzy? You should lie down.

Bucky: Okay, now, try to pick one of us up.

[Steve walks over to Tony, lifts him up]

Tony: What are you doing, man?

Steve: You looked the lightest.

Tony: All right, put me down.

Steve: Okay. You’re dumb and lazy.

Tony:[answers phone]Hello.

Steve: Hello, Tony, how are you doing today? I am fine. Nice weather lately, huh? Would you like to go out to dinner with me tonight?

Tony: Okay. Wait, who is this?

Steve: It’s me, Steve.

Tony: Oh. Okay.

Tony: [about baby Groot] Aw, aren’t you just the sweetest little thing? I just wanna dunk you in my coffee.

Bucky:[to Steve] They are so cute from a reasonable distance.

Tony: [to Bucky and Steve] This love stuff…. we never mention it again.

Bucky: Nah, five deaths is not a disaster.

Tony: How many deaths is a disaster?

Bucky: More than five. Five’s bullshit.

Tony: How many?

Bucky:Sixteen to twenty, disaster; twenty-one and up, catastrophe; eight to fifteen is a calamity.

Steve: Seven and under?

Bucky: That’s a cryin’ shame.

Steve:[texting]Hi.

Tony: Send dudes.

Steve: You mean nudes?

Tony: I’m in a fight. I need more men.

“Its the 21st century Nat, get with the time!”

Au in process

Stony young - hogwarts au