#toxic culture
do you ever read about clean eating and intermittent fasting and cleanses and all that shit and just think about how good the wellness industry is as repackaging dangerous and disordered eating habits as shiny wellness routines and become literally enraged
Yes. I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE.
To make a little extra money (and to get out of the house) I’ve been working in the weekends as a canvasser (just this Summer). I only had my home for a short time before everyone started getting in my space. It’s frustrating because I’m an introvert and need a lot of time to myself. My parents are also becoming weirdly needy. They do help out, but I’m tired and need my home. Their closing is in a few months and I’m looking forward to it.
Having my parents in my home means I have very little personal time and am always being monitored. Even phone calls from anyone result in interrogation. It’s just too much. Me spending my money always results in “advice.” My dad goes through my groceries and question every purchase. “Why don’t you need two jars of spaghetti sauce? Why did you buy salad? Are you sure your going to eat this?”
Blech. Why does he even care?
I took everyone out to dinner and on cue my dad (another version of an asshole) made a fat comment about me and my older son. They are incredibly ungrateful and rude. I don’t like having people over because they act like loons and I don’t want to deal with the embarrassment.
I also think they are fearful I’ll meet someone and get busy with my life. It doesn’t benefit them for me to be married and happy. Same for my brother. Meeting someone needs to he organic for me so while I would like them to help…I also recognize they are useless in this matter.
I’m also feeling remnants of grief of a life that never was. I was canvassing at a local farmers market and just seeing all the families with young children enjoying the weather and spending time together got me a bit depressed. The Ex was never a family oriented person. Constant control and manipulation was his vibe.
I look at those families with such longing and and sadness. It was getting almost unbearable…so I asked for a new location today. It’s better. The space is more diverse and I have a shady spot to sit in.
I just feel like my kids and I were robbed. My boys don’t ever talk about it, but I feel it some days.
